All the Fun of the Fair
Part 2
Alison’s Story — The Doll Maker
I had been enjoying the fair with my boyfriend when the worse thing had happened. I saw him checking out those girls, what’s their faces, the sciency geeks, Sophie and Emily. So they didn’t look like your stereotypical geeks, but their dress sense was still horrendous and they didn’t deserve the glances they got.
“What the hell Matt!” I had snapped at him, punching his arm. “I’m right here!”
“Christ, Ali! You need to chill out!” he recoiled, clutching his arm like I actually hit him hard.
“How about you pay more attention to me and less to those bitches?” I demanded. He was the one that asked me out, after all… I wasn’t being unreasonable wanting the date to be about, I dunno, US! It had started out well enough… Matt had asked me out two weeks ago and we’d been on a couple of alright dates so far. Since the fair was in town and he wanted to go tear up the place with his friends I was understandably upset that he wasn’t thinking of me first. After I told him off, he agreed to take me to the fair instead. I wanted to go to the cinema but he told me that it’d be fun, that we could mess around in the secluded spots of the fair and he promised me he’d win me a teddy bear. I didn’t much care for bears, but I liked the idea of a man trying hard to please me with one. Maybe it didn’t help that after he failed to win me the giant rabbit I told him I should find a real man that can actually hit a coconut. He might have taken that to heart, but he bought me a candy floss to make up for it and said he’d try a stall that wasn’t “cheating scum”. Maybe I should have thanked him for the candyfloss instead of snapping at him for trying to force feed me sugar. But he should know I have a figure to keep, how can I be the envy of the entire school unless I try my hardest to look better than them?
I sighed, and then noticed that Matt had been saying something the whole time while I was thinking about this train wreck of a date he’d taken me on. I had no idea what it was, and then I realized I didn’t quite care either.
“So what do you say?” Matt asked impatiently, clearly waiting for an answer of some kind.
“I don’t say anything Matt, I’m done. I’m going to find my girls.” I turned away and heard him call me a surprising variety of names before I’d walked out of earshot. Why can you never find a man that actually treats you like a princess? Those must exist somewhere… The current lack of such a thing was of much distress to me, and I knew I had to cheer myself up. That’s when I spotted Paula, and my frown broke into a grin. Paula loved to cheer me up. She was a few pounds overweight and couldn’t buy clothes that fit her well to save her life. She was so self-conscious about her messy hair that she always tied back and her glasses that she hated. Just reminding her of all of that usually made me feel satisfied for the rest of the day, and there she went, wandering off towards those tents at the edge of the fair.
I followed her at a distance so I could bump into her ‘accidentally’ after she went inside one. I saw her enter the “House of Mirrors”, but at the same time I noticed a nicer looking tent beside it. It was grand, and looked like it came from the finest that the renaissance fair had to offer. A rich red, with gold stripes, and ribbons adorning its sign that stated in beautiful calligraphy: “The Doll Maker”
I may hate teddy bears, but I love dolls. My dad used to bring me back porcelain dolls from all his foreign business trips, back when he did return from those trips… I got my last one from him when I was nine, and by this point I had almost two dozen beautiful looking friends. They reminded me of myself, always looking their best… The prettiest ones always got played with, but not in a rough way, oh no. We were perfectly ladylike with our tea parties and gentle walks in the garden. We always watched the other kids doing their plebian rough play from the sidelines, getting covered in mud and tearing their clothes. They had no sense of decorum.
Ignoring the Mirror tent, I headed towards the fancy tent. I figured I could always ambush Paula after I checked out this doll maker…
I walked through the entrance of the tent into a well lit room full of sales tables with an impressive variety of different dolls. There were some boring looking Barbie dolls and cheap stuffed woolen haired soft dolls near the front. Several little girls were pleading with their parents to buy them these pale imitations of true beauty. I noticed however that the further back you went, the more finely crafted and carefully dressed the dolls were. I started wandering towards the back of the tent, glancing at the three beautiful sales assistant girls who had themselves been dressed up like dolls.
The one in the blue dress had long curly blonde hair and I couldn’t help but think of goldilocks. She was serving the customers, showing the little girls all the different Barbie dolls, smiling widely with her luscious red lips and batting her big brown eyes in a way that the girls adored. I didn’t like her dress as much as I enjoyed the sunny yellow one worn by the brown haired Asian girl, though. She was busy arranging the dolls on the display and only glanced up to smile at me once, but god what a pretty dolled up face. It was a lot of makeup, but it didn’t look like too much or slutty or anything like that. She had been made pale, with the perfect amount of blush and eyeliner. Her lipstick made her lips stand out as much as her green eyes and I could imagine her standing still like a lifeless doll and almost mistaking her for a mannequin. The third assistant was standing by a glass display case at the back of the tent.
Midnight black skin, charcoal waist length hair. A dazzling sparkling ruby dress, white elbow gloves. Finally, I thought, someone I can speak to as an equal. I wandered up to her casually and said in my most disinterested voice. “Show me your finest dolls, please.”
She looked me up and down with dark chocolate eyes, though it looked as though she was looking through me to something far in the distance. Her smile, a coy curling of her lips, had been there since I entered the shop. Her entire expression seemed vacant, but I decided to ignore it as she spoke.
“Madam doesn’t want to buy pretty things. Madam wants to be the prettiest thing.” She almost sang, her voice melodic and girl-like.
“What are you talking about?” I replied, confused. “I said show me your best dolls, idiot.”
“One moment, please.” The girl replied, still looking a million miles away. She turned on the spot robotically and disappeared through a back flap in the tent. I frowned, then went back to looking around the shop. A lot of these dolls had a handmade look to them, though the quality was unmistakable. I preferred that to the factory produced identical lumps of plastic any day of the week.
Just as I was starting to get bored, the dark skinned girl reappeared, closely followed by a woman who looked like a tractor amongst sports cars. She was middle-ish aged, definitely over forty, and wore loose fitting dungarees over a tatty woolen shirt. A heavily laden tool belt was snug around her stocky waist, and her hands were, to my horror, calloused. She had walked in with a sort of rebellious swagger, and stood lopsided as if she was allergic to decent posture.
I struggled to hide my disgust as my eyes traveled up to her face. She was surprisingly beautiful, although this was hidden under a layer of sweat and smudges of what looked like ink or paint. Her auburn hair was tied behind her head in a ponytail that must have taken all of three seconds to do, and she wore not a single spot of makeup, save for the aforementioned accidental smudges on her cheeks and brow. For some reason, I didn’t dislike her anywhere near some of the girls in my classes who tried so hard and looked pathetic anyway. At least this woman had beauty to work with, and she wore her hardworking appearance with a certain comfort that I found hard not to admire. Her eyes, in particular, were a sharp, icy blue, and they seemed to pierce me with their gaze. She seemed to be the polar opposite of the spaced out shop girl next to her.
“Sapphire here says you want to see my best.” The woman said with an enthusiastic grin, her voice thickly southern and confident. “Looks to me like you are a young lady of exquisite taste.” She waved her hand to me, indicating my clothes, “and…” she added, taking a step closer and staring deeply into my eyes “remarkable beauty…”
I stifled a gasp as my heart fluttered. Confusion washed over me. I wasn’t… I’m not...
“So I don’t doubt it that you want my best.” the woman continued clasping her hands together and interrupting my thoughts.
“I… uh…” I was not used to being this speechless before.
“But I’m sure you understand that my best works are my commissions and they don’t stick around, ya’hear?”
“Oh, ok.”
“But don’t you fret, because I got a deal for you. Come to my workshop, miss, and I’ll talk you through it. Bring her through, Sapphire”
“Yes m’lady,” Sapphire sang happily, and I felt a velvet covered hand couple into my own.
Maybe it was the way she got closer when she called me beautiful, or maybe it was being regarded as having such good taste in general, but I felt flattered, if slightly weirded out. So much so I offered no resistance as Sapphire gently led me through a few tent flaps to catch up with the woman who was clearly the doll maker.
Sapphire led me through one final flap and departed back to the shop tent. I found myself in another tent only slightly smaller than the grand shop tent I had come from. It was many times more cluttered however, as workbenches lined the entire perimeter. Each bench was strewn with boxes and parts of dolls, and there were many unfinished dolls in various stages of construction. In the middle of the tent there was a full body pearl lined mirror, and slightly beyond that, a small round table filled with cakes and sandwiches with three more impressively dressed girls sitting around it, smiling and sipping from tiny bone china cups. Each was wearing a stunning, flowing dress of some kind, and had wonderfully done hair; curls, waves, bows and ribbons.
“Now you pay them no mind.” The doll maker said sharply as she saw me checking out the girls, “They’re previous clients I’ve had tonight, and you don’t want to be rude and interrupt their tea party.”
Sure enough, none of the girls even turned to greet or even acknowledge me, so I decided not to stare at them anymore. Before I turned away though, I couldn’t help but notice that there was one empty seat left at the table.
“Now stand here, in front of my mirror, that’s the spot.” The woman gently nudged me into position so I could see myself from head to toe. “The name’s Ruby, by the way.” She added as she moved around the workbenches, pulling out parts and tools.
“I’m Alison.” I said faintly as I gazed at myself in the mirror. My own reflection may as well have been my best friend as I spent so much time with her. I admired my designed jeans and strapless corset. It all hugged my slim figure, and the red and black corset worked wonders pushing my breasts up and enhancing my cleavage. My platform heels gave me an extra few inches, but since I’m pretty petite anyway it about brings me up to average. I liked it when men are taller than me anyway, all the better for them to sweep me off my feet. Or try, at least.
“That’s good, Miss Alison, keep looking at that lovely face of yours.” Ruby’s disembodied voice said from somewhere in the room. I heard clattering as she dug through various piles, and she was muttering to herself, though I didn’t pay any attention to that. Instead I focused on my face. My pouty lips were colored a bright shiny red to match my corset, my hazel eyes were lined with dark liner and my eyebrows were slim and pointed, courtesy of many waxing session. My cute little button nose sat perfectly in the middle of my face, with slightly blushed cheeks either side.
“Now I’m gonna make a doll outta you. How’s that sound?” Ruby asked brightly as she came over to me, various bare doll heads of different skin tones in her hands.
“You’re gonna make a doll that looks like me?” I broke contact with myself in the mirror and beamed at Ruby.
“That’s right.” She smiled. “And because I’m gonna make it in your perfect likeness, I’m gonna make you a doll too, to use as my template. Dress you up all doll like, do your hair and make your skin perfect too.”
“Perfect?” I repeated hopefully.
“Perfect.” Ruby replied with a wink. “We like to have fun making our dolls here, don’t we girls.”
“Yes, Miss Ruby” I turned to see all three girls sitting at the table said in perfect, melodic unison, turning as one and smiling serenely. They immediately revolved back to their tea party. It was strange, apart from that response to Ruby just now, I had the strangest thought that they hadn’t moved a muscle from the last time I had looked their way. Ruby started to dangle doll heads in front of my face though, forcing my attention back to her.
“Choose a skin tone now, Miss Alison.” Ruby said, cycling through several different options from tanned to almost entirely white.
“You’re going to make me look like whatever I pick too?” I asked curiously. I loved my dolls, sure, but I’d never dressed up as one before. It was an intriguing concept.
“It’s kinda weird…” I contemplated. “Can’t you make its face look like me, and give it a dress and things?”
“I could my dear, but then the creation will be second best. Would that really be good enough for you?” Ruby frowned.
The idea of having something that isn’t the best, the newest, or the most expensive actually gave me a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, I could just walk away entirely, this place gave me a bit of a strange vibe. But then again, I remembered how gorgeous the girls in the shop tent looked, especially that Sapphire girl.
“Would I look as good as Sapphire?” I ask, failing to hide a sly smile on my face.
“Miss Alison, you will look better than her. You’ll look better than any doll I’ve ever made.” Ruby stared into my eyes, her own twinkling.
I smirk to myself. Let’s face it, I’m already drop dead gorgeous, making girls jealous and guys hard wherever I walk. Why don’t I get all dressed up and send it into overdrive?
“Ok.” I declare with a grin. “Let’s do it, it sounds like fun.”
“That’s the spirit” Ruby smiled warmly at me. “Now which skin tone would you like to be? I think your complexation is well suited to my palest porcelain.” She held up the perfect white featureless head for me to examine. I ran my finger down it and felt an excited chill in my finger. My face flushed slightly as I nodded.
“Yes, this is the one.” I said, looking back at the mirror and imagining my perfect pale porcelain skin.
“Good choice, Miss Alison.” Ruby said approvingly. “Now then, part of the fun is really getting into the mindset of being a doll. I know my methods can be strange to you young folks these days, but it lets me make the most beautiful creations.”
“Ok,” I said uncertainly, wondering where she was going with this.
“I mean, back when I was a kid growing up in Oklahoma, all the girls use to come into my pappy’s doll shop, and you know what they’d tell him? They’d tell him ‘I want to be made into a doll please.’ And he always chuckled and told them that he’d do just that. I took over his trade when he passed away, rest his soul, but it’s a family tradition.” She smiled warming, and gave me an expectant look.”
“You want me to actually say that?” I asked, somewhat perturbed.
“Humor an old lady, won’t you dear?” Ruby replied kindly. Was that a hint of desperation in her voice?
“You’re not that old” I frowned.
“Please, I know it sounds silly, but it’s how I work. Think of how beautiful you’ll be, all your friends will be so jealous.”
Whatever part of me was objecting and telling me it was time to wig out got immediately overwhelmed by this stroking of my ego.
“Ok, fine!” I smirked. “I want to made into a doll.” When I saw Ruby nodding encouragingly, I added “Please...” With a half laugh.
“And I’ll do just that.” Ruby said as her demeanor changed before me. Her eyes, which had been gentle and hopeful, blazed in triumph, but she quickly looked away, leaving me wondering if I had just imagined it.
“Ok, so now I’ve done your little ritual, what now?”
“Well, now, Miss Alison, since you’ve said you’ve wanted to be made into a doll, you can start getting into the mindset of a doll, couldn’t you?”
“I guess.” I replied, uncertainly.
“And dolls don’t talk, do they Miss Alison?”
“Well, no.” I murmured, frowning. Then a thought struck me. “Unless they have a pull string or electronics.” I smirked happily to myself.
“Ah, but do you have either of those in you?” Ruby replied with a twinkle in her eye.
“Well, no, but…”
“Well then, if you want to be made into a doll, you don’t want to talk anymore, I’m sure.”
I surprised myself when I didn’t reply immediately. I mean, it made sense, as arguments go. I did say that, so why shouldn’t I get into the mindset, or whatever. It seemed to be what Ruby needed to do her doll making, so I guess this was helping the process. It did feel weird to me though, it wasn’t like a shoemaker needed to cut off your foot to take your measurements…
“And a doll doesn’t need to move either.” Ruby added matter-of-factly as she laid out tools in front of me and sat on a stool with the white featureless doll head, and started her work, constantly looking up at me as she did so. After a moment, she turned to the three girls at the tea party table. “June, Summer, please help Miss Alison with her change.”
“Certainly, Miss Ruby.” Two of the girls animatedly sprang up from the tea party table and collected some materials from several of the workbenches. They arrived next to me, one in front, one behind. The one in front of me had a beautiful white face, spotted with two rosy cheeks, bright purple lipstick, and flawless curly brown hair that came over her baby blue dress. She looked so familiar too. I wanted to ask her if I knew her, but no words came out. Of course, because dolls don’t speak, or move, apparently. Why exactly was I going along with this crap so much?
“Good girl, June. Nice and even over her face.” Ruby said approvingly as the girl in front of me started dabbing my face with white powder. I tried to catch June’s eye, as I was starting to get kinda worried now, but I just saw the same blank, vacant gaze on her face. Her mouth was set into a picture perfect smile that could adorn billboards or magazine covers. It was… It was just that the way she stared into space with her dark green eyes… As if not a single thought was going on in her mind...
And then I recognized her. It was Helen, from my Math class. We had never talked much, and she didn’t look anywhere near this good. She had (or used to have, I realized) a spotty face and greasy unkempt hair. She also was a relentless chatterbox, and she was smart, really smart. Right now it looked like she had no brain at all.
I stared at myself in the mirror, and urged myself to move, or talk. I urged myself to do anything, and tried with all my might even just to twitch my pinkie. I realized in a sobering horror that I couldn’t. I literally couldn’t speak or move. Instead, I felt my breathing quicken, a sharp panic beginning to overcome me. I wanted to scream, to run, to thrash my way out of that place and never look back. All I could seem to do was look wildly around and hyperventilate.
Ruby seemed to notice my distress as she calmly said “A doll doesn’t worry, or panic, or feel any kind of emotion by itself for that matter. The only emotion a doll feels are the ones imbued by its creator or owner.”
Immediately, a strange, deafening void swept through me. My breathing instantly returned to normal, and I didn’t feel scared anymore. I didn’t feel. I had no desire to look beautiful or make people jealous anymore. I had no joy, nor fear in seeing my face become whiter and whiter in the mirror under the careful administrations of June. Summer, a gorgeous Hispanic sporting ribbon tied dark hair and a dark red dress, was busy curling my hair. She too stared aimlessly ahead, a contented smile on her lovingly decorated face.
All the while, Ruby was making incredibly fast progress on the doll in her hands. It already had a face, that when I caught a glimpse of it, had features perfectly identical to my own. My own face was almost entirely white now, and I instinctively closed my eyes as June applied the powder all around them, even on my eyelids.
When she had finished I felt the application of eyeliner, lipstick, and flush to my face. Once I was able to open my eyes again, I saw the face of a doll staring back at me in the mirror. The only thing that didn’t look doll like on my face were my alert and darting eyes, as they constantly glanced between Ruby, the doll in her hands, and June, who was now starting to undo my corset.
The tea party table was visible at the edge of my gaze. I strained my eyes to focus on it, particularly on the one girl whom Ruby had not asked to help. My eyes lingered on her for a while, looking for something, anything, any sign of movement, activity, or life. There was nothing there. The girl had fiery red hair, flowing down to her waist with a neat bow at the top. Her deep purple dress had white ribbons woven through it, and her deliberately freckled, flawlessly presented face stared unfocused into the distance. She was impossibly still, an empty teacup inches from her lush smiling lips. So all that time, the tea party was with imaginary tea. I knew that if I were still able to feel, I would be scoffing at that, and then myself for falling into this trap I was now hopelessly stuck in.
“Ahh, dolls do love tea parties.” Ruby mused fondly, clearly having noticed that my eyes were lingering on the table. “Zara, why don’t you help our guest become a doll with some of your special tea?”
“Certainly, Miss Ruby.” Zara sang happily, springing up from the table with a teapot and teacup.
June had removed my corset by now, I noticed as I looked at my naked breasts in the mirror. She had moved my arms as she did so, and now they remained motionless in the last place they had been placed. Zara waited patiently until June had removed all of my clothes and heels, then poured an empty cup of tea in front of me and raised it gently to my mouth.
My lips didn’t move, but as the cup raised more and more, I felt a warm, sweet liquid run down my throat. The warmth spread throughout my entire motionless naked body, filling me with a sensation that I found hard to identify while I was unable to feel emotions. It felt like what drinking water felt like when you were thirsty, or having your favorite food when you were starving. It felt like breathing fresh clean air after being underwater for ages, like a necessity of existence was being fulfilled.
Once I had drank my cup, Ruby instructed Zara to put away the tea and help June whiten my naked body. I stared in the mirror as they lovingly applied the white powder to my skin. I felt no embarrassment standing naked before these women. I could feel no anger towards them, only the emotionless pleasurable sensation of touch as they worked down my body. Tingles of pleasure sparked through me as they caressed my breasts with their whitening power. The pleasure without emotion was a surreal sensation that I couldn’t make sense of. When they reached my groin, they removed what little hair I had left there with my own bikini waxing. As they whitened all around my cunt waves of pleasure flowed up me. I whimpered slightly, overwhelmed by the sensations, then the feeling faded, and they continued spreading the white down my legs.
They worked quickly, but I had enough time to recognize the other two girls as fellow students at my school. Summer was really Izanne, and Zara was Mindy. Both had been in my gym class, though they looked incredibly different now. More beautiful, more perfect. Empty, obedient dolls. Would such a life be so bad? I pondered idly. Without the emotion to appreciate it, I didn’t think it would be.
They were almost finished, and my mind was nearly resigned to my fate, when I suddenly realized that these girls Ruby was ordering about were moving! And they had talked. If they were already dolls, how could they do this? If they were dolls, and I was becoming one, then surely I could move, I could speak, I could escape! Emotions by the bucket-load seemed to rush back into me, and it took every ounce of effort I had to not react there and then. When I had started to show signs of panic before, Ruby had immediately taken away my emotions. Now I had figured out a loop hole and gotten them back, as well as my movement and my voice, I knew I needed to not squander this chance. I focused on keeping my breathing as even as it had been, on not moving any muscles, and on not flinching every time one of the girls, or dolls, or whatever they were, touched me with something as they made me more like them.
So I had to think fast, and think smart. Everything bad seemed to have happened after Ruby tricked me into telling her I wanted to become a doll. I had meant figuratively, but clearly saying the words to her had given her power over me. After that if she made a logical argument based upon my words it seemed to compel my behavior accordingly. I considered blurting out that I didn’t want to be a doll anymore, but something told me that it simply wouldn’t work, because Ruby would tell me that I really did, and that something like that couldn’t just be taken back.
“Time for the clothing now, I think.” Said Ruby happily, and her three helper dolls disappeared into a side room and retuned with two identical sets of clothing, one person sized, one doll sized. Acting as casually as I could, my eyes shifted between the dress they brought out for me, and the one for the doll. Both were a midnight blue ballroom dress, the kind that I drooled over in fashion magazines, and would work, well, perfectly with my blonde curled hair and stormy blue eyes.
As they dressed me, I knew my time was running out. Ruby, at least, seemed to be confident enough that I was trapped by her words as she worked away on the small doll’s dress as her life sized dolls dressed me. I did my absolute best to let them move my limbs as they needed to in order to get the dress on me.
“Almost done!” Ruby exclaimed happily after both the miniature me and the real me were dressed, sparkling blue shoes to match. She stood up and examined me as a painter would her masterpiece. I let myself look at my reflection, and I was overwhelmed by the beauty I saw. My silver golden hair had been curled flawlessly into large circular locks. My blue eyes beamed out of my perfectly white porcelain styled face. The makeup was pristine, the dress divine. I had never looked or felt more beautiful, more perfect, more… me.
But I knew that this wasn’t me. And if it was, then the price wasn’t worth it. Having a miniature doll of me that could look this beautiful would be a wonderful thing to have, but I couldn’t live this lie any more than I could survive without food, or air, or the infinite number of things that made me human. A single tear ran down my face as I said a silent goodbye to the perfect image before me. Ruby was standing close enough to me now. I would shove her through the mirror, grab my doll, and make a run for the exit…
But Ruby saw the tear down my cheek. I realized too late what this meant, and I lunged to attack Ruby, but not before she spoke.
“Every doll freeze now.” She quickly, yet calmly said.
For the briefest of moments, I had sprang into action, kicking my feet forward, lunging with my hands outstretched, my mouth about to blurt out the worst profanities I could think of. Instead, I felt every muscle in my body seize up.
No. No no no! Fucking hell, no! I’m not a doll, I’m not a doll, I desperately thought, trying to urge my body forwards. It was no use. I was dressed like a doll so precisely, and I had said I wanted to be a doll. Honestly, as I stood frozen to the spot, I felt like I really was a doll now.
“Tell me, as succinctly as you can, how you were able to move just now. You can speak this once, but not move” Ruby instructed me carefully, squinting at me curiously.
No. Don’t tell her, no! I urged myself. “You said that dolls can’t speak, move, or feel, yet the girls were doing those things” my body spoke for me. I felt like a hostage tied up in the back of my own van, terrified and helpless, and enraged.
“Ahh, so you thought it as a loop hole.” Ruby mused fondly. “Of course, I said those things…” she muttered more to herself. Then she addressed me again. “A doll can move and talk if the imagination of the doll’s maker or owner gives them life. As their owner, I command my dolls as I see fit, and they make believe anything I want them to.”
I could feel the trap doors close all around me. All avenues of escape were evaporating into the air with Ruby’s words.
“But when being made, the doll isn’t being played with, it’s doing its very best to become a doll. It knows it is a doll, and that it wants to always be a doll.” Ruby declared, with an air of finality.
The words washed over me like a tsunami. I was a doll. I was still being made, but I was a doll. Dolls don’t move, don’t speak, don’t feel, unless upon their owner’s whim. My eyes were fixed on my maker now, and she smiled at me.
“I’m sure that feels better, Doll Alison.”
My maker had the other dolls position me nicely in front of the mirror. The smaller me was then held up in front of my reflection. It was a precise match, the little me identical looking in every way.
“A doll has no need for a big person body though, does it?” My maker asked quizzically.
“No, Miss Ruby.” My voice replied as I stared into the little doll of me.
“That’s right. A doll’s mind and soul belong in the small person body, don’t they?”
I had no idea what this meant, but I knew it was true. “Yes, Miss Ruby” my voice said. This time I saw the mouth move as she, I, or rather it spoke. I didn’t think the little doll could do that.
Then I realized that there were ginormous, calloused fingers holding me up by the back of my dress, in front of what seemed to be a bigger version of me. The hand then gripped me around my middle and I drooped to the side of the body of the giant now carrying me.
“Is this doll void of all previous occupant’s thoughts?” my maker asked the giant me.
“Yes, Miss Ruby.” The giant doll replied in a singsong voice that I used to know. It then returned to its motionless state, a content smile on its face, its eyes vapid and unfocused.
“Well, my girls, best you all enjoy your tea party together.” Miss Ruby announced, and I watched from her clutches as each of the four large dolls before her took a seat at the table. They grabbed an empty cup of tea each, and in slightly different poses, came to a complete halt. Their eyes void of any activity, their minds nonexistent, they continued the tea party in complete stillness and silence.
“Good girls.” Miss Ruby smiled at them, before going to the back of the tent, undoing a flap, and exiting into the night air. I watched the stars above as Miss Ruby took a few steps towards a trailer, which she silently entered.
It was fairly small, yet lavishly decorated. On the bed I saw seven beautiful, small lifelike dolls. Three of them looked exactly like three dolls I had seen in the shop tent a while ago in another lifetime. Three were identical to those sitting at the tea party table where my larger self doll now sat, motionless and empty. The seventh doll was the likeness of a middle aged woman wearing dungarees and a tool belt. I recognized her instantly as my maker. The life size Miss Ruby stopped in front of the dolls and held me up proudly.
“Everyone, this is Bethany. I want you to be nice to her and make her feel at home.” Miss Ruby spoke sternly, looking at each of the dolls on the bed, before placing me down at one side, facing inwards so I could see them all.
I couldn’t hear them, but I could feel them. I felt cries of anguish and begs for freedom from some of them. From others, there was a deep calm, a sense of acceptance, of belonging. From one doll, the older one, I sensed a rage so powerful that trying to focus on it was like holding my mind too close to a fire.
I didn’t know what triggered it, but an unsettling and complete understanding of what had happened to me over the last hour suddenly pieced itself together, and it felt like my mind was untying the knots which had bound it so tightly. My mind was intact, emotions and all.
A crippling, overwhelming panic gripped me. Had I had lungs, I would have hyperventilated. Had I had a voice, I would have screamed. Had I had arms and legs I could control, I would have ran.
But I didn’t do any of that. I simply sat there, unable to speak, unable to move.
At least, I thought after countless time had passed, I looked good.
Perfect, even.
Forever.