The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Ageless

“Though still considered fringe science, the Human Energies Theory has a strong following amongst younger scientists of neuroscience and related,” the science article stated. “The postulation on the surface is easily defined. The theory states that there are three distinct ‘Levels’ of energy types within the human body. The Base Level is that of the ‘Soul’ or ‘Soul Energy.’ The Soul, like its theological counterpart, is the core of human consciousness, while also the human connection to the ethereal. The Mid Level is ‘Life Energy,’ which essentially functions as the power source of life. The Tertiary or Top Level is a set of emotional and instinctual energies, which range from sexual to luck. Not counting Soul Energy, all these energies are easily replenished after use, which is as continuous as any biological function. Replenishment may be achieved through regular food consumption. The implications of this theory are far reaching, and there are of course many critics of it …”

Diane sighed. Perhaps the “Fringe Magazine” article was interesting, but science bored her more than usual of late. Sure, the magazine was widely accepted in the scientific community for at least showing opposing viewpoints, but she just could not get into it. It was turning into another boring day for the scientist’s wife.

She knew what she was getting into, when she married Frank Stone after he graduated with a PhD in Bioscience. Or at the very least, she enjoyed how his equally as geeky friends drooled over her red hair and firm, light skinned body. Science was simply Frank’s mistress, and she was OK with that. He was smart and funny, and in some ways, that’s all she ever wanted. But when she hit forty a month ago, something in her changed. She was still very attractive, but time was starting to bear down on her. The more she looked back on her ten year marriage, the more unfulfilled she felt …

* * *

“Almost ready, Diane?” Frank asked nicely. They were preparing for his research firm’s yearly gala, which functioned as their primary fundraiser. He was their Chief Researcher, so he was automatically front and center.

“Just about, Frank,” she answered with a false smile of fresh lipstick, trying desperately to ignore the lines on her face. Yet, she could not. All she seemed capable of, whenever she looked in the mirror now, was falling into the depths of any signs of age.

Diane signed deeply. She did enjoy the event in the past, but didn’t really want to go this time. What really depressed her, on top of her lines, was the fact that Frank was flying to London on business early the next morning, and they might not even kiss before he left. Knowing that Frank’s career relied heavily on this event, she forced herself through the motions.

The event went by more swiftly than in past years for Diane. Though, she was drinking a bit more than usual. Still, everything went as planed: hands were shook, checks were signed, government finding was promised, etc …

Diane woke up the next morning with a pounding but bearable headache. She sighed, when she looked at the empty side of the bed. He was going to be gone for a week. If her niece wasn’t going to stop by in a couple of days, she would not have had a clue as to what to do with herself.

She casually tossed on her silk robe, and woke up the computer at the other side of the bedroom. As usual, Frank forgot to close out his profile. It always amazed her how he forgot to do such simple things, especially when much of his firm’s research isn’t exactly public.

An email was displayed in front of her. She read it out of curiosity, having no intention of telling anyone about what it said:

From: E.Fredrick@VolutusResearchLabs.org

To: F.Stone@VolutusResearchLabs.org

Subject: Ageless Project Update

Dr. Stone

We are now progressing with the human trials phase of the project. We are already lining up candidates. In total, I plan for twenty candidates for the single-blind trial, and another twenty for the double-blind trial. The two trials will be evenly split between genders. Will update once trials commence.

Dr. F

Feeling more curious, Diane searched her husband’s emails and computer for more information on the project. She knew it really was an invasion of her husband’s privacy, but the projects were never supposed to be illegal. Plus, her husband never talks to her enough about what he does, whether she was interested or not.

She ultimately found a file on the computer stating that the goal of the Ageless Project was to create a drug that could reinvigorate someone past the age of forty. It was to function as a non steroid for older athletes, while it could also be used as a means of reawakening one’s sex drive. It was called “Ageless” because of the revitalization goals, while there were hints of alternate goals of age reversal. The files possibly containing more specifics were password protected.

Needless to say, the project peaked her interest. She knew Dr. Ernie Fredrick very well, and he was close friends with her husband. It would not take much effort to call the bachelor to her house, and ask him about the project. And if possible, become one of the subjects. Though she knew her husband would not be comfortable with his wife becoming a test subject, it was the first thing that truly excited her in a long time.

* * *

“So, your sink looks fine now, Diane,” Ernie stated bewildered. Diane claimed there was something wrong with the food dispenser, while Ernie only found a full garbage cache. He was an engineer (bio and electrical) before shifting to biomedical science, and it was not the first time he helped her and her husband out around their house.

“Thanks, Ernie! That thing has a mind of its own. With Frank in London, I think I might’ve bashed the thing with a sledge hammer if you couldn’t come over,” she joked. She wore a casual, form fitting, blue dress, which broke most men down.

He laughed, failing to hide his small crush on her. “Well, n-nothing’s designed to last forever!”

‘Perfect,’ she thought. “That reminds me, Ernie. Before Frank left, he mentioned something about the ‘Ageless Project.’ He said he wasn’t supposed to tell me anything; it just slipped out,” she smiled innocently.

He looked a little nervous. “It’s not like it’s top secret or anything. But, it’s not public yet …”

Diane leaned on the counter next to him, continuing to innocently smile. “I’m just curious! Who am I gonna tell? The last thing I want is to damage Frank’s career.”

He signed, slowly looking up and down the beautiful woman, and said, “Well, all right … You didn’t hear this from me … There was an independent film released a while ago that revolved around this highly addictive pill called ‘Sex Drive.’ I believe the film was called ‘Sex Drive.’ Well, anyway, it inspired me and some others to look into what makes people vigorous, and why that fades. Well, the what and the why was the easy part. Only took weeks. There have been many studies along those lines, already. So over the past year, we developed a kind of gene therapy drug, but it goes deeper than that. You see, our genes are not dissimilar to burning candles, and at the end of each is what’s known as a telomere. It caps and buffers. Every time our genes replicate to replace old cells, some of that buffer is lost. Once that buffer is gone, the gene unravels. It’s all part of the aging process.”

“I think I aged five years just listening to all that!” she joked, while understanding the gist of it.

“Well, um, those telomeres can be replenished, and that’s what our drug does, or at least, in mice so far! So, what the drug does to make that replenishment possible is fool the body to think it’s younger. The younger you are the more easily those telomeres are replenished. Therefore, vitality. It’s even more complicated than how telomeres work, but like I said, it works on mice!” He was very excited about his work.

“And now, you want Human trials?” she casually asked.

“Exactly!” His excitement partly left him, when he realized were this was likely going. “You know what your husband would say if you put yourself into any of the trials. There’s still a lot we don’t know …”

“You got me! But yeah, Frank wouldn’t let it happen … if he knew.”

He smiled excitedly, before impulsively stating, “You are dangerous!”

Diane just smiled, white teeth and all.

“Well, it is all volunteer, albeit from a general volunteer pool. Results are anonymous, too.” He deeply sighed. “If you’re sure about this, I can still fit you in. We haven’t started yet. All I have to do is transfer a volunteer to another project. Not a big deal; happens all the time for various reasons. It’s just … I’ll never forgive myself if something goes wrong …”

She kissed him on the cheek, and said, “I trust you.”

* * *

That night, Ernie set up Diane as an anonymous volunteer in the single-blind test. Usually, subjects came to the lab for testing, but they didn’t have to. “House Calls” weren’t uncommon depending on the volunteer and project.

The next day, I found myself at Diane’s door, case of materials in hand. I knew who she was, and especially who her husband was, but I did not care. That’s why Ernie had me do this House Call.

“Yes?” the intercom sounded.

“Hi! I’m Lisa Sloan, lab assistant and geneticist from Dr. Fredrik’s lab. I have the project materials with me, and I can start you up with the project,” I offered pleasantly.

“Oh … I didn’t know we’d be starting so soon. I’ll be right down!”

Like most people when they first met me, Diane was pleasantly shocked. Natural blonde hair, sun kissed skin, and a more than healthy body, always turned heads. I may not have always turned heads so easily, but I rather enjoyed it now.

We sat on her couch, and I opened the air tight case. Inside was paperwork, and the first month’s worth of the drug organized in bottles of ten pills each. I handed over the paperwork. “I’ll just need you to look through that, answer the questions, and sign it. Then we can get this started.”

“But, I thought this was anonymous?” she looked at me nervously.

“It is; don’t worry, Diane. Only I and Ernie know everyone’s real name here.” Another volunteer acted the same way earlier! I continued, “Just look at it this way, Diane: Only you and your husband can read your signature scribble, and he doesn’t look at these forms. For this project, we are not legally obligated to release names.”

Diane sighed, and ultimately signed her name. She really wanted to do this. I didn’t need empathy to see how depressed she was becoming. For whatever reason, this simply excited her.

I took the paperwork. “Good. Now, let’s get started … First, I’ll take a blood sample. As for the red pills, these are the real deal. You may take two a day whenever it suits you. I suggest taking it with a tall glass of water; there is evidence that acidic drinks make the pill harder to stomach. I’ll stop by every week here or wherever you wish to receive a full exam. If you notice any side affects, report them immediately. You know Ernie’s number, and you should already have a text with mine. You may stop taking the pills at any time for any reason.”

There was a big excited smile on her face. “Would you like a drink or something, Lisa?”

“Oh no, I gotta take a raincheck on that. Most of the other volunteers are starting at the lab today, and I need to get back.”

Diane suddenly hugged me in her excitement. She was such a sexy woman, whose subtle wrinkles did little to hinder her beauty, and I almost changed my mind about rushing out … I left a few moments later, after wishing her good luck.

Diane picked up a pill bottle, and happily walked to her kitchen. She filled a tall glass with water, and popped two of the large red pills. After a long jog on the treadmill and some lunch, she passed out on the couch …

She suddenly awoke to an extreme horniness she never felt in her life. Her body was hot and steamy, while her breathing was fast and deep. Her mind was consumed by it. She literally ripped off her clothes to feel her seething body. Every part of her body of her body was sensitized. The mere touch of her dripping, burning snatch gave her multiple orgasms. Scream after orgasmic scream, coo after coo. There was no end in sight, yet she did not want it to end. Then she felt it: a kind of growing super orgasm amongst her orgasmic writhing. She fingered and groped herself wildly. Before she did not want her pleasure to end, but now, she wanted to explode atomically. Faster and faster. Harder and harder. Her mind melted. Suddenly, in a massive fountain, she screamed in a final epic orgasm, and fell off her couch into a pool of her own sweat and cum …

Diane lay there in a semiconscious state for minutes or hours. She was not sure. Everything was so fuzzy. Eventually, her mind began to solidify. Diane slowly brought herself to her bare feet, feeling incredibly weak. She stumbled into her bedroom, where she left her cell phone. She found my text, and called my number.

“Diane, hello! You have a question?” I had just finished filing all the volunteers’ paperwork for the trials. It was well past ten at night, and I was ready to head home.

“… I … Humph … Something happened …” Diane he could barely speak.

“Diane, what’s wrong?” I asked with concern.

She breathed heavily for a few moments, before answering, “I … I took the pills … A while later, I woke up … My whole body was alive with passion!”

I sat there for a moment, not knowing what to think. Had my suspicions about the drug been true? But, why was no one else yet affected? “Are you all right, Diane?”

“I … I’m.” In that moment Diane realized how amazing she felt. Her growing depression was simply gone. She felt alive and happy. “I feel amazing!”

“I’m coming over to check on you. No one else has experienced this kind of reaction,” I said seriously.

“No, there’s no need.” She was no longer breathing so heavily. “I’m past whatever that was now.”

I sighed deeply. “I recommend to stop taking the drug now, but it doesn’t sound like you will. If that happens again, you must stop taking it.”

“Everything will be all right. I wanna see this through …”

She hung up, and I sat for a moment in deep thought in the lab’s office.

“Hey, Lisa, good work today,” Ernie peaked into the office. “Wanna, um, go see if there’s a bar still open?”

I admired his forwardness. He was such an inward person, and there was so much just under the surface. “Maybe,” I teased, “but first, do you have Diane’s DNA results?”

He was taken aback. “Yes … I haven’t looked at them yet. Was she the one you were just talking to?”

“Yes. She’s fine. Reporting on feeling a bit more energetic after taking the drug earlier. We’re not sure if that has any connection with the drug.” Yes, I lied, but with reason. If I was right, I knew far more about what the drug could do than he did.

“Oh, OK. She is the boss’ wife! They’re in my office.”

Him leading the way, we soon found ourselves digging out Diane’s file. Looking at the results, Ernie stated, “Humph … There’s some abnormalities. Never seen anything quite like it …”

I stood for a moment realizing that my theory about the drug may have only been true in spirit. “Well obviously, they’re not negatively affecting her, Ernie,” I said calmly. “I don’t recognize anything there that could pose a threat to her. Nothing wors than an extra hair follicle.” That was truth. I’ve seen those “abnormalities” before, and there was nothing negative about them. It was what they implied that was important, and that was something Ernie did not need to know, at least for now.

“All right, well, you’re the expert, Lisa.”

I then suggestively wrapped my arm around his. I needed to have his mind on other things, and no one said he was a bad guy. And maybe, I was a little hungry, too. “Now, you offered this girl a drink!”

* * *

Diane woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and happy. Though her depression didn’t start that long ago, she almost forgot what being happy felt like. Whatever this drug was doing to her, it made her feel too good to care.

Diane took a long look at her naked self in mirror. Yes, the signs of age was still there, but she didn’t care as much as she had. After dressing herself for her workout, she popped two more pills, and a had a filling breakfast. After, her mourning routine proved more rigorous than usual. An extra mile on the morning jog, more aggressive yoga stretches, faster stomach crunches. It all cumulated in a very long, very hot, very passionate shower.

Right as she was dressing herself, someone buzzed the doorbell. “Yes?” Diane asked through the intercom in her bedroom.

“Hey, it’s Laura! Finished finals earlier than I expected.” It was her niece. She was a literature major at college. Laura had been wanting to vacation at Diane’s for a while, and wanted to give her aunt company, while her husband was away.

“Oh OK, be right down!” she answered excitedly.

When Diane opened the door, her jaw dropped. Sure, she saw the twenty year old many times (she was her sister’s daughter), but now she really saw her. Laura was a tall, thin brunette, with creamy skin and deep blue eyes. She wore a loose yet still form fitting yellow shirt, with short jean shorts and flip flops. Diane could not deny how turned on she was by the woman, no matter how wrong that was.

“You OK, Diane?” she asked confused.

“Oh yeah, it’s just good to see you. Come on in. I’ll take your bag.”

Diane made them both sandwiches for lunch, and they sat munching on the couch.

“You sounded a little depressed, when I last talked to you, Diane. Are you OK?”

“Oh, yeah. I hit a bump, when I hit forty, but I’m all right now.” She innocently brushed her hand through her nieces soft hair.

“You look happy,” she smiled.

Diane found herself very horny sitting next to the bombshell. It wasn’t even close to the horniness she felt the day before, but it was significant. “Yeah, I feel real good …”

Alone in the lab office, I was comparing Diane’s DNA with my own. What I found did not shock me. Always the investigative scientist, a while ago, I examined my own DNA. Diane’s DNA helped to confirm my past theory about myself. Though, that DNA was active within me, while it wasn’t active within her, yesterday. None of the other subjects had the unique genetic markers we had. I now understood so much from what lay before me. I was probably the first to truly care! My theory relating to the drug was now revised based on the now confirmed past one, and it suggested so much.

“Hey, Lisa, wanna help me out with some of the subjects?” Ernie casually asked at the door. I could tell that I tired him out from last nights escapades.

“Sure, I’ll be out in a minute. Just have to make a phone call … Personal,” I smiled cutely.

“OK.” He shyly walked back into the lab.

I dialed Diane’s number on my cellphone …

Laura and Diane were actively making out on the couch. Diane was not one-hundred percent sure how this was accomplished. They went into talking about her ex-boyfriend, and eventually started joking about “experimenting” with roommates. Laura said she never kissed a woman before, and Diane offered “education.” What started as a joke, now may go all the way.

Diane’s cell phone started to ring on the coffee table, but she didn’t care. Laura pulled back and said breathlessly, “Don’t yah wanna get that, Diane?”

She answered, “No,” and reattached her lips to Laura’s.

When Diane started kissing down Laura shapely neck, Laura stated, “What are we doing?”

Breathing deeply, Diane answered, “Education … there’s nothing wrong with me teaching you some things.” Diane was amazed by her words, not just because of the fact that Laura was her niece, but also because Diane never even kissed a woman before …

I grunted, when I hit Diane’s voicemail. “Diane, I’m coming over after five to give you a full exam. I’m a little concerned about how the drug may be affecting you,” I sighed from my understatement. “I’ll see you soon …”

Diane’s phone was quietly flashing to notify it had a voicemail, while they pealed off their clothes. She then began to kiss down the young woman’s cheek and neck. Laura cooed loudly, when Diane sucked and rubbed her breasts like there would be milk. Diane continued downward, leaving a shining trail of spit as she went. She then passionately made out with Laura’s pussy. Laura’s flowing juices were so delicious that she almost didn’t want to continue her journey down her niece’s tight body. Slobbering, Diane continued down her tight inner thigh, savoring every deep kiss and lick down to her ankle. Diane then passionately slobbered her shapely feet from silky heal to wrinkly sole to long toes.

Laura could not stop squirming and cooing in pleasure. Diane then looked to Laura’s other foot, and lovingly worshiped it from toe to heal. With dripping drool preceding her, Diane continued up Laura’s twitching leg. She then forcibly flipped Laura over to lick and kiss her ass cheeks, before licking up her spine.

“You wanna learn how to squirt?” Diane whispered in her ear. Only Diane’s ex boyfriend from college made her squirt, but she remembered every detail now. “Fuck yeah!” Laura cooed. They briefly made out with passion, before Laura pushed her down onto the couch. She spit a massive blob of spit onto her niece’s already wet pussy, while she had Laura wet her fingers. With far more lube than what was necessary, Diane began to finger Laura’s pussy in search of her G-spot. The moment she found it, she stimulated it wildly.

“OH FUCK … OH GAWD DIANE!” Laura cooed, while uncontrollably squeezing her breasts. Audible squishing noises soon came from Diane’s wild fingering. “It’s coming, Laura. Don’t fucking hold back!” Diane picked up speed in anticipation. “OH FUH … OHHH DIA DIANE OHHHHHH!” she screamed and squirt in orgasm, with Diane working to catch as much of the fountain in her mouth as she could. Laura felt rather numb.

Mouth visibly full with a substance she found truly delicious, Diane crawled up to Laura’s face and visibly swallowed her cum. She lightly laughed, with her mouth open wide in presentation. “That’s … That’s fuckin’ sick, Diane!” Laura said with a big smile. Diane began to passionately make out with her, ensuring that she tasted her own cum. At the same time the teasingly ground their soaked pussies together. “So fuckin’ weird, but I love it!” Laura cooed.

“My turn!” Diane exclaimed. She lay back almost casually in anticipation. Laura’s warm spit falling on her pussy lips made her moan. After sucking on her fingers, Laura felt her way into her aunt’s warm pussy. It didn’t take her long to find her G-spot and start attacking. “OOH … You ARE a fast learner, Laura,” Diane cooed. “OH, oh yeah … FUCK, that’s gooood, Laura.” The great warmth and moisture slowly build. In the back of her mind, she wondered why she never taught Frank how to do that! “OH FUCKING GAH … I’M GONNA BLOW … LAURAAAAAH!” Diane spewed a massive load onto her niece’s face and into her mouth. Laura lovingly swallowed …

While Laura was preparing the shower (they felt a little sticky), Diane caught her image in her tall mirror. It did not take her long to realize how good she looked. Yes, she was a beautiful woman, but it was more. She looked ten years younger! All her wrinkles and her tired eyes were simply gone, while her body was most certainly tighter. She realized in that moment that thirty was the age she loved the most …

* * *

I was driving to Diane’s house with the proper equipment for a medical exam that night. I still could not be sure that the drug was doing what I thought it was doing, let alone how to explain everything to her. Ten years ago, I don’t think I could have verbally explained it all to myself! When Diane opened the door in her white robe looking ten years younger, along with a subtly sweet scent, I was almost certain that the drug had begun to activate her dormant DNA.

“Come on in, Lisa! Didn’t know you were coming over.” Diane happily guided me to her bedroom.

“I left a message on your phone.” I briefly noticed that her couch had a few towels on it.

“Oh, sorry, I was a little distracted entertaining my niece this evening. She’s here on vacation from her college.” A big smile rested on her smooth face.

In Diane’s bedroom, her niece was lying on the bed with a similar robe reading “Fringe Magazine.” It was pretty obvious to me what happened. That didn’t bother me, because shunning that kind of behavior would be hypocritical in light of my own sexual escapades. I lay my medical bag on the bed. “Laura, I’ll be examining your aunt …”

“Oh, we don’t care,” Laura said almost playfully. “What’s she here for, Diane?”

She answered, “I’m doin’ a drug trial, Laura. Supposed to help me get more active. But, don’t tell Frank!”

Laura slowly licked her lips, and said, “It’s working!”

I stealthily sighed, and prepared a needle for a blood sample. Sequencing her DNA will prove empirically my theory and observations. With her naked, I did a complete physical examination. Not my expertise, per se, but I easily learned how to do it for my current posting. “Well, you’re looking as good as ever, Diane!” Well, to be honest, she could now sneak into everyone’s wet dreams, including mine.

“You’re so sweet, Lisa,” she said before giving me a pleasant kiss on the lips. Under any other circumstances, a sapphic threesome would have been quite tasty. Sadly, I had other things to do …

I quickly drove back to the now empty lab, and sequenced and examined Diane’s DNA. The results showed that everything was happening as I theorized. The transformation the activated DNA was causing was rapid. Indeed, the process was nearly complete. However, that meant great danger for her and all around her. Only I can save her and her niece now …

While speeding back to Diane’s house, I thought about how to explain everything. But, how does one explain that she is becoming a Succubus like me? Regardless, unless some greater power is pulling the strings, Diane will fatally suck all the Sexual Energy out of Lisa, because Diane’s Life Energy will be sexualized (fused with her Sexual Energy). When Life Energy becomes Sexual Life Energy, it needs to be bolstered, or death will likely occur for the new Succubus. Indeed, a Succubus will always require Sexual Energy, but it can take time to learn how to control feeding. That is why it is usually vital for another Succubus to be present, so that other Succubus can breath Energy back into the victim.

I eventually barged through Diane’s door, breaking through the locks like they weren’t there. With the feel of growing passions and scent of powerful pheromones, I knew that Diane’s transformation was competing itself. The orgasmic screams were growing louder and louder, while I sprinted to the bedroom. I was just in time to whiteness Diane’s birth cry, her pleasurably sucking and absorbing every last bit of Lisa’s Sexual Energy. Diane soon fell back in confusion and ecstasy.

I ran over to the lifeless Lisa, and kissed life back into her, causing her to loudly orgasm. Her breathing was deep, while she will now sleep for many hours. I crawled on top of the joyous yet confused woman. “What …” Diane said breathlessly. “What are you doing here … What happened?”

With a large smile, I kissed her sweetly on her full lips. “You are like me now. We are Succubi. You are perhaps the first Natural Born Succubus to have transformed artificially. Normally, Natural Borns are Succubi from the moment they are born, unlike my breed. Natural Borns just don’t need Sexual Energy until puberty is completed. You had the inactive Succubus DNA within you, which means that a female descendent of yours could have become a Succubus. You may even have Succubi already hiding in your family tree; it may not be hard to find out. Now, I don’t fully know how that DNA becomes active (the DNA of my breed is transformed artificially), but that drug certainly can activate it!”

“I’m so confused … But, I feel so amazing …” Diane knew the truth in my words, but her mind was still a bit jumbled from her first feed.

I sighed, “I might as well tell you the rest. We can’t really hide much from each other, anyway … I’m not really a lab assistant. Ten years ago, I was a geneticist in a Crime Scene Investigation lab. Fate can come quite suddenly to what I was: a Succubus Hunter. Long story short, my Hunter nature was awakened, and I tried to kill the Succubus that my ancestors tried to kill … The only way to end the Hunter Bloodline is to artificially transform a Hunter into a Succubus. The Succubus I hunted obviously beat me!” I chuckled, and continued, “I still liked investigating, so I turned myself into a private investigator. A decade later, I found myself investigating your husband for fraud. He is squeaky clean, but the Ageless Project kept my interest. And, I’m glad it did, because I got to welcome a new sister into a new and wonderful world!”

Like with all Succubi, Diane’s destiny was now her own to face and influence. I and others will of course help her to understand what she is. The only issue left was that damned drug. Even if only one woman in a thousand had the proper dormant genetic traits, that could theoretically mean so many more Succubi would populate this world. Succubi and even Witches simply do not go out and transform women in Succubi every day! So, the best choice I had was to ensure that the Ageless Project would not make it passed the first phase of Human trials. It will hurt Ernie quite a bit for his project to fail, but I’m sure I can think of something to cheer him up.