Fantasy League
Week 4 — Lenore
If there were two words that Brittany Blue hated more than any others, it would have been the words “trophy wife.” She was nobody’s trophy and just who the hell were all these people to pass judgment on her.
Of course, she knew why it was. It was because the others were all jealous of her, but still, what gave them the right to say the kinds of things they did.
And besides, she’d always been the kind of person who once she saw what she liked, she went for it. Of course, having a killer body didn’t hurt either, but still ...
Brittany pulled her convertible up in front of the Westwood Country Club and a boy in a red jacket rushed out to greet her. “Good morning, Ms. Blue,” the boy said as he opened her door for her. “You want me to park that for you?”
Brittany smiled sweetly. Charlie was only a couple years younger than her sister so maybe it was odd to think of him as a boy but then hey, it just part and parcel of what he did. He was just the boy who parked the cars. “That would be sweet,” she said. “I really appreciate that.”
“It’s not a problem, Ms. Blue. It’s my pleasure.”
It probably wasn’t a pleasure, Brittany thought. More like, it was his job, but then hey, that was what mattered, wasn’t it. It was his job.”
Brittany knew people were watching her as she walked inside the country club. It was hardly a surprise, actually. A lot of the people here were ancient. Well, not all of them, of course, but the ones who weren’t old were usually someone’s daughter and they were only here because of mommy and daddy’s money. She had her own money in her own right.
She stopped at the maitre d’s desk. “I’m here to see Gillian Jenkins,” she said.
The man behind the desk smiled ingratiatingly. “Of course, Ms. Blue,” his voice oozed. “If you’d follow me.”
The man led her into the restaurant and then to an empty booth.
“What is this?” Brittany asked. “I thought I was here to meet Ms. Jenkins.”
“Yes, of course,” the man said, “but Ms. Jenkins called a few minutes ago and she said she was running late. She said I should seat you and she’d be here momentarily.”
“You could have told me that when I was out front,” Brittany said petulantly.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry ma’am, but Ms. Jenkins did say the first round of drinks was on her.”
“Did she now?”
“Yes, she did and if I might make a suggestion.”
“Yes?”
“Might I suggest a really expensive drink.”
Brittany smiled. She liked the way the man thought. “I think that’s an excellent idea,” she said.
“I rather thought you might so let me let you take a look at the drinks menu and I’ll send someone over shortly.”
Brittany smiled. “Take your time,” she said.
It wasn’t long at all before a man approached her table. “Good afternoon,” the man said.
“I was wondering when you’d get here. I was looking for some advice.”
“Yes?”
“I was looking for a rather special drink.”
“Were you now?”
“Mm hmm. You see my friend’s a bit late and she offered to buy the first round for me and I want something that’s not only pretty to look at, but is also nice and expensive. Can you help me out?”
“I’m afraid you’ve got me mixed up with someone else.”
“What?”
“I don’t work here at the restaurant.”
“Really?”
“Really. I just stopped by because I wanted to talk with you.”
Brittany leaned back in her chair as she looked up at the man. “Yeah, what about?” she asked warily.
“It’s about you being a whore.”
She should have been outraged at that, Brittany told herself. She shouldn’t have been out of her seat and on her way to find the manager and yet she wasn’t. She was just sitting there listening to this man talk. “So you think I’m a whore, do you?” she said.
“Well not exactly, but I think you could be if you put your mind to it.”
Brittany was used to having people come down on her because of who she’d married. Usually, they weren’t so open as this man was, but then usually, they already thought she was a whore and it wasn’t like they thought she could be one if only she’d put her mind to it. Still, it wasn’t like she wanted to hear this man talk about his theories. “Listen,” she said.
“No, you listen,” the man said.
Brittany suddenly stopped speaking. She wasn’t even sure why.
“That excites you, doesn’t it? Having a man tell you what to do.”
She wanted to tell the man no but she just couldn’t seem to make her body respond to what her mind wanted.
“It excites you, doesn’t it. It excites you to be a whore.”
No, she wanted to say. No.
“You’ve always wanted to be a whore.”
Well, there was that time back in high school. She’d been in the school play, but ...
“It was back when you were in high school. It was back when you were in the school play.”
“How did you—”
“Did I tell you you could speak? No, I didn’t, so if you’d please, I need you to be quiet.”
Once more, Brittany lapsed into silence.
“It was back when you were in the school play. You were playing a prostitute. What was her name?”
“Rosie. Rosie Kellogg.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Rosie Kellogg. You really liked that part, didn’t you? You really wanted to know how she thought. You wanted to know why she did what she did.”
That was right, Brittany thought. She’d forgotten all about that but she had wanted that.
“Something like that never really leaves you, you know. You’ve always wanted to know what that was like. You’ve always wanted to know what it was like to be a whore.”
“N-no,” she whimpered.
“I’d say don’t lie to me but we both know that’s not the most important thing. What you really need to do is stop lying to yourself.”
She wasn’t lying to herself, Brittany wanted to say.
“You’ve always wanted to be a whore.”
“No,” she wanted to whimper.
“You’ve always wanted to be a whore.”
She’d always wanted to be a whore. She ...
No. No, that was wrong. “Who ... who are you?” she asked.
“Me? My name’s Blake but you’ve got to know that’s not important now. A man’s name doesn’t matter to a whore. What matters is getting his cock in her pussy.”
Yeah, Brittany thought. His cock in her pussy.
No wait.
“You know what you need,” the man said. “We’ll talk later.”
Brittany closed her eyes. “No,” she moaned. “No.”
“Ms. Blue?”
Brittany opened her eyes to find a man standing over her but it wasn’t the man that had been there before. “Yes?” she asked uncertainly.
“I understand you wanted to get a drink,” the man said.
“What happened to the other man?” Brittany asked.
The waiter looked around uncertainly. “Other man,” he asked. “What other man?”
“The one who was here before.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about but if you want, I could ask around.”
“No! I mean, um, no. It’s ... it’s not important.”
“Did you want to get a drink?” the waiter asked.
“Yeah,” Brittany said. “Yeah, I could use a drink. A really big one,” and yet even as she said it, she couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be a whore.
Her head had been killing her all day long and all Lenore Carmichael wanted to do was to go home and get some rest. Yeah right, she thought. Like that was bound to happen any time soon.
“Come on, Charlie,” she told her son. “Pick up your things and let’s go. We’ve got to pick up your sister.
“Comin’, mom,” the boy said.
It wouldn’t be soon enough, Lenore told herself. Maybe when she got home, maybe she could find some time to relax in the bath.
Yeah, well that hadn’t happened either. Of course, it wasn’t like she’d really thought it would happen but she’d kind of hoped that it would, but still ...
She had dinner to make and then she had to make sure the kids were doing their homework. Penny could pretty much be relied on to do what she was told but you had to keep an eye on Charlie because he’d take any chance he got to goof off.
Her headache was still in full effect when she finally put herself to bed that evening. She’d loaded up on Tylenol for all the good it was going to do her. She just hoped that things would be better the next day.
About the only thing that could be said for her headache was that it was better, but it was still there and it was still hurting like a mother fucker when she got her kids together to go to school.
“Come on,” she told the children. “Get your stuff together and let’s go.”
Sometimes, that actually worked. The problem was sometimes, it didn’t.
Penny, at least, seemed to me moving in the right direction but Charlie seemed to be hanging back. “Come on, Charlie,” his mom said. “Let’s go.”
“Coming, mom,” her son said.
Well, that may have been what he said, but he certainly didn’t seem to be actually doing it. Penny was already strapped into her seat and Charlie was nowhere to be found. “Charlie,” she called out.
“Here, mom.”
“Let’s go. Get in the van.”
“I don’t want to go to school today.”
“Come on, Charlie. I don’t want to hear any of that. Not today.”
“But mom.”
“Charlie!”
“What?”
“Get in the fucking van.”
From inside the van, Lenore heard Penny giggle. “Mommy used a bad word.”
Damn it. That was just what she needed. “Come on, Charlie.”
At least Charlie was moving now, Lenore told herself, but she was sure there was going to be hell to pay later.
Her headache was still in full effect when Lenore returned back to the house. She had a full list of things she was supposed to do that day but she was trying to figure just how many of them she could shove off to the next day when she heard a knock at her door.
Who the fuck was that, she wondered. Whoever it was, she wasn’t going to answer it.
But then the knock came again.
What if it kept coming? She was hoping to get some rest.
She still wasn’t going to answer it though.
But then the knock came yet again.
God damn it. Who the hell was knocking on her door. Whoever it was, she was going to have to answer it just to make it go away but it had better not be some god damned salesman.
It was a guy. “Who the hell are you?” Lenore demanded.
“The name’s Barry.”
“Yeah well, Barry, or whoever you are, I got to tell you this isn’t a good time.”
“Why’s that? Got a headache?”
“What?”
“I asked if you had a headache.”
“How ... how did you know?”
“How did I know what?”
“You just looked like you had a headache.”
“You can tell just by looking at someone if they have a headache?” Lenore asked incredulously.
“Well not all the time, but some of the time, yeah.”
Lenore shook her head in disbelief. It wasn’t like she actually believed it but still ... she did have a headache.
“And you know what? I’m really good at curing headaches, too.”
“Yeah? And just how do you do that?”
“With massage.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m not talking about a full body massage, of course. It’s just a scalp massage, that’s all.”
“Yeah right.”
The man just smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m not suggesting you’d want that from me. You’d have to have a really bad headache to want that.”
Lenore couldn’t even believe she was about to ask this. “How bad a headache?”
“Hmm?”
“I was asking how bad a headache can you cure.”
“Oh. I can pretty much cure any headache,” the man said.
“Really.”
“Yeah sure, why?”
Lenore bit her lip. Did she really want to do this, she asked herself. “You, um, you were right about me. I do have a headache.”
“I knew that.”
“This is like the second day in a row now and it’s driving me up the wall.”
“Are you asking if maybe I could help you?” the man asked.
“Yeah. I guess that is what I’m asking.”
Was she really going to do this, Lenore asked herself and yet the thought of making her headache finally go away was too much of a lure. “I’d like for you to do it. I mean, if it’s not too much trouble, could you make my headache go away?”
“You want me to give you a scalp massage?”
“Yeah. Could you?”
“Sure I could. Let’s go inside.”
Lenore nodded. This certainly was strange, she had to admit, and there was no way she would have done this if it hadn’t been for how bad her head hurt. “Do you do this often?” she asked.
“Do I do what often?”
She’d meant for what she was saying to sound light. She’d meant for it to be playful banter but she couldn’t help but think that it sounded kind of creepy to her ears. “Do you give strange women scalp massages?” she asked.
‘“Is that really what you think?” the man asked. “Do you really think you’re a strange woman?”
“I ... no ... I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You didn’t mean it like what?”
“I was trying to say something light,” a flustered Lenore said.
“Listen, if this makes you uncomfortable, I can go.”
“No,” Lenore said hurriedly. She wasn’t even sure why but she knew she didn’t want him to go. “I want you to stay.”
“Well all right. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“All right then. We need to find a chair where you can sit comfortably.”
“You mean like on the couch?”
“I’m going to have to be able to stand behind you,” the man said. “How about over there,” the man said pointing at a barstool.
The couch would have been more comfortable, Lenore thought, but if that was what he needed, well then fine, she could do it that way.
“Excellent,” the man said. “Now you sit here and I’ll stand behind you like this.”
Lenore sat where he told her to sit.
“Now, I’m going to touch you like this.”
Lenore just couldn’t help but tense just a little as she felt the man’s hands touch her.
“If this is going to work, I’m going to need you to relax,” the man told her.
“I’m trying.”
“Just relax,” the man said. “Just relax and feel how light everything is. Just relax and let all your troubles drift away.”
That was easy for him to say, Lenore thought. He didn’t have two children that he had to take care of day after day after day.
“Relax,” the man’s voice cooed again. “Just relax.”
Relax. Okay. Maybe she could do that.
“Just relax,” the man said again. “You don’t have anything you need to think about. You don’t have anything to worry you.”
Maybe she could do this, Lenore told herself. She almost thought she could feel it working. All she needed to do was to relax.
“That’s it,” the man’s voice oozed. “You can feel it happening. You can feel the tension going away.”
She really could, Lenore told herself. As strange as it had seemed before, she could feel her body beginning to relax and for the first time in two days, she could feel her headache beginning to subside.
“That’s it,” the man said. “You can feel it happening.”
She could.
“All you need to do is to relax. You think too much. That’s not good for you. Thoughts lead to worry. Worry leads to stress and stress makes it hard to relax.”
She could see that.
“What you need to do is to stop thinking. If you stop thinking, then you can relax.”
Stop thinking, Lenore thought. Yes, that sounded so simple, only ... only how could she stop thinking?
“Relax,” the man said. “You’re trying to think again.”
He was right. She hadn’t even realized it but she’d started to think again.
“Thinking is your enemy. Thinking is not your friend. Thinking causes you pain, but not thinking doesn’t cause you pain. Not thinking is your friend.”
It was all so obvious now. She didn’t want to think anymore. Thinking most definitely was not her friend.
“It’s better to let other people do the thinking for you.”
It’s better to let other people do the thinking for her, Lenore thought.
“I’m going to reach down and open your blouse.”
Lenore stirred uneasily. There was something wrong with that.
“You’re thinking again,” the man said.
Oh my God, she thought. She hadn’t even realized it but she was thinking again.
“It’s better to let other people do the thinking for you.”
It was better to let other people do the thinking for her.
“There you go,” the man said. “You understand now. It’s better to let other people do the thinking for you.”
She did understand. It was so obvious.
“And now ...”
Lenore once more felt the man’s hands slide down the front of her open top. For just a moment, she thought maybe there was something wrong with that but then she remembered. That was just plain silly. How could she think there was something wrong with that. She didn’t think.
“That’s very good of you,” the man said as his hands glommed onto Lenore’s breasts. “You see how good it is to not think?”
“Yes,” Lenore moaned.
“And just think, in time, your need to not think is going to become second nature to you and the more you don’t think, the happier you’re going to be.”
“I want to be happy,” Lenore said.
“I know you do. You’re very lucky though. Most people don’t understand the importance of not thinking. That’s why they’re so stressed out all the time.”
That was unfortunate, Lenore would have thought but then thinking that thought would have required her to think and Lenore didn’t think.
“I love your boobies,” the man said.
What had he called her breasts, Lenore thought. Why she had half a mind to ...
To do what. To think? Why would she want to do that? She didn’t want to think. Thinking only led to pain. It was so much better to not think.
“That’s a good girl,” told her. “You like it when people call you that. You love it when people call you a girl instead of a woman. Girls are sweet and innocent but women know things. Women think things and thinking leads to pain. It’s so much better to be a girl.”
He didn’t have to say anything more. She most certainly didn’t want to be called a woman.
He was pulling his hands back. “There you go,” the man said. “Isn’t that better now?”
Lenore stirred uneasily. There was something, she told herself. There was something ...
But whatever it was, it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come and Lenore nodded numbly. “That’s better,” she said vapidly.
“I’ll let you go then and get back to what you were doing.”
To what she was doing. Lenore almost wondered about that but then wondering would have required thinking and she wasn’t about to let herself think.
The man had left but still Lenore was just sitting there not thinking. It felt so good to not think.
She was still not thinking and her blouse was still open when she realized with a start that she needed to get moving. Her children would be getting out of school soon and she needed to go pick them up.
The funny thing was her bra wouldn’t fit. The weird thing was she was sure it had fit that morning but now when she tried to put it in place, now, it just wouldn’t seem to fit. She couldn’t help but giggle. It was almost like her bra was too small but really, that was so silly. How could her bra be too small?
She caught herself just in time. She’d almost wondered about that but she didn’t need to think about something as silly as that. All she had to do was just accept it and take off her bra and besides, it felt so much better when she wasn’t wearing a bra anyways,
Funny thing was, she had trouble remembering where the school was but she found if she just kind of put herself on auto-pilot, it was a lot easier.
She barely made it to the school on time but she was there nonetheless and there were her kids coming towards her.
“Look at mommy,” her daughter said. “Mommy looks funny. Mommy has blond hair.”
What? No, but then Lenore caught herself. It wouldn’t do to think. If Penny wanted to say her hair was blond, well Penny could say whatever she wanted and Lenore just smiled vacantly at her two kids.
But it was the way Charlie was looking at her that worried her. “Charlie,” she asked, “is something wrong?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Charlie just looked at her and Lenore thought she could see him shake his head but for the life of her, she had no idea why.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go.”
The three of them all piled into the SUV but it wasn’t long before Charlie piped up from the back seat. “Mom?”
“Yes, Charlie.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Forgetting something?” Lenore asked worriedly. That actually sounded a lot like thinking. “What am I forgetting?”
“Soccer practice.”
Oh crap. She had forgotten about that.
“We just passed the soccer field.”
Oh crap.
“We need to turn around.
Crap. What had she been thinking, Lenore wondered.
She was still thinking that when she pulled her SUV into the parking lot although she was trying very hard not to think at all.
That day, Lenore sat in the stands and she watched her son play just like she always did but on that day, she didn’t say one word. She just sat and watched and when practice was done, she brought him home.
The next day when she woke up, she was feeling much more like her old self. She rousted her kids out of their beds, made sure they were getting themselves ready for school, made their lunches and most importantly, she remembered what it was that had happened the day before.
Somehow, the man had bamboozled her. She was still unclear just how exactly it had happened but whatever had happened, she was sure that wasn’t ever going to happen again.
That morning, she’d just returned home after dropping the kids off at school when the doorbell rang. She went to answer it and who should she find but the man from the day before.
“You,” she practically spat at the man. “You know, you’ve got some nerve coming back around here.”
If her tone was supposed to make the man feel ill at ease, it hardly seemed to be having that effect. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked in a tone that seemed devoid of concern.
“What do you mean what’s that supposed to mean? Look at me.”
“I am looking.”
“I’m ... I’m—”
“Yes? You’re what?”
Lenore was at a loss for words. She knew something was wrong but she just had no idea where she should even start.
“How’s your headache?” the man asked.
“What?”
“Your headache? How is it?”
Lenore hadn’t thought about her headache at all but now that he’d brought it up, she realized her headache was back.
“I can help you with that?” the man said without even waiting for Lenore to answer.
“What?”
“I can help you with your headache.”
“Yeah right. I think I’ve already had enough of your sort of help, mister.”
“Perhaps, but then maybe your headache is just a manifestation of something else.”
“A manifestation of something else?” Lenore spat out. “And just what the heck might that be?”
“Oh I think you already know the answer to that.”
“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.”
“Perhaps you ought to let me inside first.”
“Why? So you could give me another ‘scalp massage?’” Lenore said sarcastically.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary anymore.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I don’t think that’s necessary anymore.”
“But why?”
The man just grinned. “So now you’re interested, are you?”
“No, I ... I—”
“Don’t worry,” the man said. “I don’t need to do it because I’ve already given you what you want.”
“What’s that?” Lenore asked worriedly.
“Now, you don’t have any responsibilities. Now, you don’t have anything to worry about.”
“What do you mean? I got kids. I got a family.”
“Yes, I know you did, but you’re thinking too much and thinking’s not good for you.”
“I have to think,” Lenore said.
“No, you don’t. You know you don’t. Your mind knows you don’t. You can feel it happening. You can feel your mind starting to shut down.”
“No,” Lenore whimpered but he was right. She could feel it happening.
“Just let your mind relax. You know you want to. You know thinking’s not good for you so why don’t you let me in.”
She still didn’t trust the man but she let him in anyway.
“That’s a good girl,” the man told her.
She was a good girl, Lenore realized. Nothing he did could take that away from her. She really was a good girl.
“Now like I said, your problem is you think too much. You worry too much. You wish someone would come along and make things easier for you and as it so happens, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
That was what she wanted. She wanted to not have to worry so much. She wanted to cut down on the stress in her life.
“Of course, the first thing you have to do is to stop thinking. Remember, you did that yesterday. Well, you’re going to do it again today and tomorrow and the day after that as well. Thinking is bad for you. It causes worries. It gives you headaches. It’s always so much better if you can just stop thinking.”
Lenore could feel her mind just sort of stop. It was so much better that way, she told herself. It was so much better when she didn’t think.
“That’s it. Just relax your mind. Just let it float and think about pretty, little things of no consequence.”
It was good to let her mind float.
“Should we go into your house?”
“W-what?
“Should we go into your house,” the man said a little slower and a little more distinctly.
“Um, okay.”
“You’re feeling relaxed now, aren’t you?”
“Uh huh.”
“You’re not thinking?”
“Nuh uh.”
“You’re not even trying to think.”
“Nuh uh. I’m not trying to think.”
“That’s a good girl but let’s go inside your house and let’s find a mirror.”
“Okay.”
The two of them found a mirror just as the man had directed them to do. “Now,” he said, “I want you to lift up your top.”
Lenore did as she was told to do.
“Higher please. There’s no need to worry about what anyone might think. In fact, there’s no need to worry about anything at all.”
Lenore lifted the bottom of her top to the tops of her shoulders.
“Do you see your boobies?”
Lenore nodded.
“Do you see how big they are?”
Lenore nodded again.
“They’re big because they’re healthy. They’re healthy because you’re healthy. You’re healthy because you live without stress and you live without stress because you’ve decided that thinking is something you’re just not going to do, and now that you know that that’s true, you’d never go back to your self-destructive thinking patterns again.”
Lenore struggled a bit. Something was wrong.
“This is your fantasy. You’ve always had to be strong. You’ve always had to hold everything together but now you have nothing that you need to be strong for. You only win when you let it all go.”
She could understand that. She was looking at her tits. They were so big. And with her now golden blond hair and her stomach which hadn’t been as flat as it now was in years, she hardly looked like she’d ever looked.
“You won’t want to wear those jeans anymore.”
“I won’t?”
The man shook his head. “I should think that skirts would be more to your liking.”
“Why?”
“If you’ll open up your jeans, you’ll find out.”
“Why?”
The man said nothing.
“Why?” Lenore asked again and again, the man said nothing.
She understood. He wasn’t going to tell her. Whatever it was that he wanted her to know, she was going to have to find out for herself so after only a moment of hesitation, she opened up her jeans and she pushed them down her legs.
Or at least she tried to but she had to wriggle her hips and even that didn’t seem to help. The jeans were so tight.
“Trouble?”
“My jeans? They ... they don’t fit.”
“Well certainly not those jeans.”
“Why?”
It was hardly the answer that Lenore wanted but it seemed that it was the only answer she was likely to get. Still, she finally managed to get the jeans down and almost as soon as she did, she knew what the problem was.
As her waist had gotten smaller, her butt had gotten bigger so that she now had a perfect bubble butt.
“I think you’ll need to wear thongs and skirts to show that off from now on,” the man said.
It was an excellent idea, Lenore thought. In fact, she was surprised that she hadn’t thought of it before.
And now the man was coming up behind her and he was putting his hand on her ass.
“What are you doing?” Lenore asked worriedly.
“Do you remember what we talked about earlier?”
“What?”
“You need to stop thinking so much.”
“But—”
“You need to stop thinking so much,” the man said again.
“But you shouldn’t—”
“You need to stop thinking so much.”
She needed to stop thinking so much, Lenore told herself.
“It’s okay if I put my hand on your ass.”
It was okay if he put his hand on her ass, but wait. What was he doing now?
“You like this too,” the man said, “but it would be better if you bent at the waist.”
This was okay, Lenore thought as she bent at the waist. She liked this even if his cock was getting dangerously close to sliding between her legs.
And then it wasn’t just dangerously close. Then, it was already there. “Um, what are you doing?” she asked.
“Don’t worry,” the man said. “This is okay.”
She wasn’t sure about that but he’d told her not to worry and she certainly didn’t want to worry anymore.
But that’s when she felt his cock slide forward and she couldn’t help but moan as she took that cock inside her.
“Are you sure this is okay?”
“It’s fine,” the man assured her.
Well, if he said it was fine, Lenore thought, then it must be and besides, it certainly did feel good.
“Do you like that?”
“Mm hmm.”
“I told you it was okay.”
He had told her that.
“You see the benefits of not thinking, don’t you?”
Lenore nodded.
“And there’s one more benefit,” the man said.
“What’s that?”
“This.”
Lenore couldn’t help but moan as she felt the cock surge inside her and even as she did, she felt her pussy clamp down on that cock. She wasn’t even thinking about what that cock was doing to her. All she was thinking about was how good it felt and that was all she needed to know.