HOW I LEARNT TO STAND STILL
BEN’S STORY
CHAPTER 4
I could feel the foreign thump, thump, in my chest. Strange to hear my heart beating slowly then gradually faster stronger, a roar through my ears confuses me and then I realise with surprise, I’m breathing. My limbs fade and come under my control, my vision clears and I feel myself been held by the man.
- Welcome back Ben, how was it?—
I shake myself, the room, the statues, all real. I can see that Zak and Justin are back under their covers while mine lies draped over the floor. I realise that I have no real idea how much time has passed.
And how do I feel.
- It was great sir, but was that really a day sir?—
- Yes, well, more like thirty two hours Ben, its hard to get the amount of gel exact and for the first time, its, best to let you come out of it naturally.—
I look down, surprised to find my self so clean, a wet sponge squelches beneath my foot, I step back, kicking and almost overturning a basin of soapy water.
- Here put this on Ben—he helps me into a dressing, two sizes, well four sizes too large,—Lets get you home—
So I was helped back to my apartment, not that I needed any help, I felt fine. He unlocked the door with the keys from my satchel, I had forgotten about that, yesterday, no this must be Friday, Wednesday it was, seems another life. He left me with out another word, only a note left behind.
SEE YOU AT 9 ILL BRING THE TUX ZAK
The time, 10 in the morning I throw on some clothes and head for the campus. I need to get out into the cold fresh air and clear my head. I walked in, kicking my way through the first snow of the year, relieved to be moving. When I reached the college, I entered wary in case anyone had seen me wearing that fucking bodysuit. I needed have feared there weren’t many people around those that where kept their heads down from of the cold. Only the Liberian was still there, didn’t look like she had moved since Wednesday, she gave me a smug knowing look. I just went past and up to the main reading room and to find terminal to log onto.
YOU HAVE MAIL
SENDER Dr N Foster
SUBJECT Masters Course
Congratulations Ben, you’re there, one of the best papers I have ever read. I foresee no problems with you gaining your Masters. What will you do for the next six months? Come and see me, I may have some translation work for you.
Yes and fucking yes.
It was strange that it was on the back of this high that I had my first real doubt. I pulled up explorer and typed in the web address, MaleStatue_Hire.com, and waited for it to load, and there it was. I realised that somehow I had not been expecting to see it, some intuition that it did not exist, or something, something else that I can’t get my head around. I type enter a red box flashes up error password required, da stupid. I hear a soft even tread, footsteps and look up to see Eric walking towards me, his hand already raised to give me a high five, a big smile on his face.
- Hey bud how you hanging, got some news?—
I had closed explorer, only the internal mail was on the screen. I sit back,
- Looks like my masters, is, in the bag, signed sealed and delivered—
I let him see the screen and take it in.
- Concrats man, but you’ll still around, the team needs you, fuck there’ll just be me and Toni—
- No prob Eric, I’ll be there for you—
- OK say aren’t you banned or somethin—
- Finished on Wednesday Eric, only a week—
I should mention Eric, he’s only nineteen a sophomore and the youngest of our three man wrestling team. Taller than me by about 4″ he’s quite rangy, still too young to have the strength he needs, though where fixing that with long hours in the gym. But he’s fast, very fast and smart on the mat, he’s almost had me a few times, he’s going to be very good, the best of us I think. Did I also mention he’s cute, got some Irish blood, straw hair and blue eyes, and a slight turned up nose, almost a button nose, the young Celt of the team. He might be gay but I’m not sure and I don’t think he’s sure either and I don’t care it’s my job to look out for him. He says he hasn’t seen Toni for a while, wants to know if I want to go to a party, in somebody’s room. I have to put him off, he looks a bit down until I tell him that I really am busy and I’ll come and find him next time. I walked off the campus with him and said good-bye at the bus stop, too cold to walk home, its strange how no matter what time of day it is theirs always the same crowd on the bus, I think they must live on it.
It was dark by the time I got home, I considered going all the way up to roof, to his door, but I felt stupid, what would I say, what was it that I wanted. Instead I went back to my apartment surprised by how warm it was forgetting that he had turned the heating on. I looked at the clock, 5.30. I cleaned the apartment, a little. I had been watching the clock as I got ready, showered and shaved, a splash of aftercare, teeth scrubbed white, clean clothes, skin-tight boxers, and shit it will be shoes, I dig them out, and spit and polish desperate, finished, clean as the knock comes at the door. And the clock says 9.
- You look great Zak—
Zak standing there all 6′2″ of him stunning in a black tuxedo, black bow tie, like he had just stepped of the cover of GQ, though with another tux over his arm.
- Thanks Ben, here grab this—
I take the tux from him as enters closing the door behind. I place the tux on the newly cleared sofa and start to strip.
- You can turn round Ben, its not like you’ve got anything I haven’t seen before—
- Ah sorry man—
I’ve already stripped off my top and the slacks but I turn around as I put on the tux and dress trousers, slowly for him. A perfect fit, except the tie, my hands jump to the pockets to check and then see him smiling, head tilted to one side holding the tie.
- Come here Ben—
I walk across, close, under him and stand as he wraps the tie around my neck, working it beneath the collar and then his hands meet at the front, turning the cloth under and over into a neat black bow.
- First time in a tux Ben—
- No—
- The prom!—We both say together.
- Hot chick not sure what to do with her, knowing something is wrong-
- Snap—which of us said what I’m not sure, but it made us laugh. He put his hands on my shoulders spinning me round, brushing off the fluff, from the sofa until he gives his verdict.
- Looks good. I think where ready to go—
There was a limo waiting outside, company perk, Zak said. We weren’t long on the road, twisting and turning into the old dock area by the river, which had me puzzled since as far as I knew, Charlesfords nightlife equalled zero, minus one. We pulled into the old warehouse district, 19th century brick stores now obsolete and fallen on hard times. The limo drove off leaving us there in the cold.
- Come on—said Zak leading me down an alley a dead end lit by a single light above a plain steel door. Zak pounds on the heavy door a hatch slides open. I expect to be asked a question but instead the hatches hisses shut. A clank of bolts opening and door opens with a shudder of grinding metal. We pass through and the door locks behind us as the bolts are drawn home. The man behind the door has no neck, a head, a body and I’ll assume the rest, but no neck and of course he’s enormous, his hands look bigger than I am. He looks down at us, which involves bending his whole body forward.
- Follow me sir—
The first floor is empty, an empty space of packing crates and old chairs, but its warm and I can hear now faint music from above, Jazz I would say and the overlapping murmur of a crowd. Noneck takes us across to the elevator, a big old freight platform he pulls down the heavy wooden gate and turns a lever the size of a coke bottle. The platform heaves and creeks upwards. I find myself thinking about how to take Noneck out, I decide that it would have to be the knees first, though you’d be fucked if he fell on you, well fucked, I decide that it is not practical proposition.
We arrive at the second floor, Noneck remains by the lift while Zak leads me down a short corridor, doors marked private on each side, a rich carpet underfoot and at the end, double doors, which Zak pushes inwards.
- Welcome to The Club Ben—
I had expected something small, seedy even, instead it looked like I had stepped back into the thirties, the cotton club a world of art deco and style. The floor crowded with young men in Tuxedos, the dress code it seems. I can see a few people from the college here moving in and out of the crowd, on the left I can see through to the seating area, velvet booths, semicircles where the more nature, the real men sit.
- Its supposed to be a real speak easy from the twenties—I here Zak speak into my hear—But I’ve also heard its made from left overs from the Godfather films—
He shrugs and leads me in through the crowd.
- Ben good to see you here—
I know the voice before I turn around and find Wesley standing complete with tux close behind me. What the hell is he wearing that for, around his neck, a rubber bow tie, a pink, very pink, rubber bow tie, but he was always one to make a statement. James is with him, his arm still in a sling, feeling a little guilty I give him a small wave.
- Hi James-
- Hello Ben—
I thought better of asking him how the arm was. And behind Wesley I can see the little beanpole of Miles nursing his usual large Gin and Tonic, for the night. I try to see him better, to say something, but he has already scurried round to hide behind Wesley and James. I can’t blame him for being nervous, last time I saw him I threatened to rip his head off if I caught him looking at my ass again.
It’s crowded and Wesley is pressing close, standing over me. I can hear him.I can hear him fine.
- Ben lets get together sometime—
But theirs always something under the surface with Wesley, the thrill of courting danger.
- like the old days—
And that’s it the fucker reaches round and pinches my ass. I would have gone fucking mad if It hadn’t been for Zak. I can feel his hands on my shoulders holding me back. Wesley thought he was dead, I see the mask slip for a moment, the fear as he jumps back, the shouts and swearing behind as Miles and drink are sent bowling into the crowd. Wesley makes a quick recovery now that he can see he’s safe, his hands up palms open towards me.
- Whoa Tiger!—
He says trying to recover the situation, he knows he’s miscalculated badly.
I can hear Zak now, whispering in my ear.
- Leave it Ben. Leave it too later—
And I let him turn me and steer me away. I had not expected to be steered towards the bouncer, he was of course already on the way. But he stopped and went back to his sentry position at the bottom of a small spiral staircase, leading up to some sort of raised floor. This bouncer I was relieved to see at least had a neck, well a partial neck. I was expecting to have to say something to him, but instead Zak just kept me going, straight past the man and up the metal stairs. It was only when we reached the half floor at the top that Zak decided it was safe to let go of me.
We had the platform to ourselves, the prime spot. Zak sat me on the leather sofa, whose low back ran along the railings, looking down on the club twenty feet below. Only the sofa a low glass table and two matching armchairs backed onto the brick of the wall. The lighting subdued two lamps each mounted, carried on the back of a man, a statue on each side of he seating area. That’s what I thought as well, but their not, I reached across and tapped one to check, their hollow, cheap plastic, I can see where the rough seam of the moulding runs down their sides.
Zak is talking to me.
- Are you OK Ben—
I nodded.
- OK stay here, don’t move, I’ll go get the drinks—
And he was off, before I could even say what I wanted.
I had a great view of the club. I still can’t believe how many people I recognise here. This is where everyone’s been hanging. James with his sling is easy to spot close to the bar, talking to Miles, it looks like they’ve both got slings, but Miles sling turns out to be a napkin, some large cloth which he’s desperately trying to wipe himself down with. I can see into the wall booths two full Professor’s and a collection of lesser lights and it’s him, I’m sure of it, Hamilton, the man, the owner of the house on my first night, but then he sits back vanishes behind a pillar, a cloud of smoke rises up and I’m left unsure. A flash of green, a luminous green bow tie distracts me, more so because of who’s wearing it. Toni the Italian stud Angelo number two of the three man wrestling team. A year younger than me, finishing his degree, been with a hundred women and here he is scoping out the men and I never knew, but I’ve no instinct for that despite the time the two of us have spent sweating in each others crotch on the mat. It’s busy down I can see him turn round and talk to, it’s Wesley. I can see him with one arm on Toni’s, whispering into his ear as his other arm points into the crowd. It seems that I’m not the only wrestler that Wesley has his eye on.
I here Zak coming back up the stairs being careful not to spill two large glasses. He passes one two me as he sits down beside me.
- Here you are Ben or should I say Tiger—
- Ha Ha very funny—
- Should ignore him Ben. The mans a jerk—
- That’s easy for.. what the fuck.. is this mineral water—
That gets him to laugh.
- Yes Ben the boss doesn’t like his boys drinking on the job, affects your concentration or something like that-
- Well for you Zak OK, but I’m ...—
I stopped there in mid sentence as I realised what Zak had said.
- Ben he wants to offer you a full time contract. He asked me to talk to you about it when he found out that where going out—
- But Zak I still don’t know. What does it involve?—
- Well lots of standing about with lots of other hot men—
He puts his arm round me pulling me into his chest.
- Hot men like you—
- Lots of standing round and being stared at and feeling good, some sex, with precautions—
- What precautions—
He puts two fingers together before reaching beneath me to press them against the cloth covering my ass hole.
- A hollow dildo here, and—
He runs the fingers around and over my erect cock.
- Some kind of cover for this boy—
- Dam you make it hard to think Zak—
He sits up straight with a grin, letting me go.
- Go on than, ask your questions—
I took a sip of the mineral water to give me time to think of a question, or more, which question to go first with, but I realised that it was Zak I was interested in.
- What about you Zak, how did you get into it?—
In answer he rolls up his left trouser leg, to his knee.
- Do you see it—
I can some scars behind the knee, before he rolls it back down.
- I was a college football jock, a scholarship, dam good too, looking at being a pro, until, this, got hit by a tank, went over, my leg bent through ninety degrees. That was it, the end.—
- I’m sorry Karl—
He shakes his head at me, eyes fixing me.
- Don’t be, I was a sorry enough shit for a year after that—
- And the statues—
- It was the summer after I graduated, I’d always know I was gay, like at the prom. I found the Bosses web site while looking for some porn, I liked what I saw, sent an e-mail with attachment, was offered a shot at it and that was it, signed a contract, more than a year ago-
He begins counting on his fingers.
- Or, about nine weeks unfrozen—
- How much does it pay?—
- $500, a week when your under, nothing to spend it on, no expenses to pay, it sweet. But theirs another good thing in it. How old are you Ben—
- Twenty three—
- Ok Ben , last year we where the same age, now I’m a year younger than ya, you don’t age when your under, I’ve been out for a month and you feel nothing , its easy—
He sat and waited, letting me chew on it. What was I going to do with Latin, become a priest, $2000 for a month I wouldn’t notice and then nights spent out with Zak, what would you do.
- Where’s the contract—
I read it, lots of jargon, but there it was personnel cover, pension rights, holiday entitlement, after week long sessions, a one day break, longer sessions followed by a two days break and one calendar months notice in writing from either party to terminate the contract. Easy and sweet, and with Zak stroking my balls I signed and dated the paper. Zak dragged me to my feet and almost crushed me with both arms.
- Oh man this is going to be so hot—
We went back soon afterwards. The limo had in fact been waiting outside on the corner. I hardly had time to think on the way home. I tried to be nervous but with Zak planning our days off it was hard to worry about anything. Back at the apartments I was surprised when Zak took me straight back to the first floor apartment. I was expecting to walk into the studio instead there was a bedroom, a breakfast bar and a small kitchen like mine, but clean. That was on the right, hand, on the left of the apartment a toilet bowel against one wall, a very large shower tiled floor to ceiling and a line of lockers beyond, a wooden bench in front, a team locker room like any high school would have. Zak led me across to the lockers, there was perhaps a dozen of them, only the first four had names, small white cards on the door. David, Justin and then Zak’s opened by him towards me. He was stripping off as I asked him pointing.
- David, Justin how long have they been here?—
- Justin came, about the same time as me, same story, broke his leg badly on the field—
He turns to face me, closing his locker.
- David was the first, never asked him but I think theirs something between him and the Boss, heh! your asking the questions the least you could do is listen—
- Sos Zak, it’s hard to hear you when you stand there naked like that-
- Time you did the same Benny boy—
He backs away tapping on the next locker along, Ben is written on the door.
- See you up stairs when you’re ready Ben—
And that was it he turned away and walked to the far side of the room before disappearing up the stairs there, what a butt.
I stripped of the tux and hung it up, socks and boxers soon followed. It was silent now with Zak gone. I couldn’t help but stand there, staring at the door to the passage, I should have walked through it, naked or not, but I didn’t. Minutes passed before I chose to follow Zak up those narrow wooden stairs, straight and steep to the second floor, the studio and I’m not sure.
- Good to see you decided to join the team Ben—
The man says to me, fuck even his voice has me horny, so deep and mature. I find my self-walking to him sprouting a fresh erection despite my fears. As I get closer I can see why the room is so quiet the wet plastic figure of Zak stands back on it’s pedestal, his head turned back as if he was to speak. I look along the line of his head into the dim shadows, which edge the studio. I can jut make out a large wooden crate, just opened, the packing littered about it and something, someone moving around back there, silent.
- Help me with this cover Ben -
I picked up the far corner of he dustsheet and the two of us lifted it over to hide Zak’s frozen form.
- Can he see us Sir—
- For a little while Ben until he cools and goes too deep under—
And I just felt for the first time how strange it was, living-breathing stud Zak reduced to an anonymous object under that sheet. Behind him the still form of Justin covered with cloth, equally blank.
- Sit down here Ben -
I could see where he indicated, an old wooden chair, red felt seat, low backed, standing on a plastic sheet, to protect the floor beneath. I sat down trying to be comfortable, despite the hard back of the chair. He removed his shirt and knelt down in front of me, his hands firm on each thigh spreading my legs out straight, moving between them, to my crotch, the heat of his body against mine.
—I think I need to help you relax, you’re the most nervous boy with an erection I’ve ever come across—
I was about to say something and..
- Ben boy. Be still—
I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t
- Relax Ben—
- Feel good—
- Feels so good—
- So good to be still, not to move—
- Feel good—
- Feels good to obey—
- Obey your master-
- Feel good—
- Feels good to obey—
- There, your a good boy—
- A very good boy—
Felt so good, so good.
I can see the master.
I can hear the master.
Something in his hands.
Shining in his hands.
So good.
In his hands.
Shiny, pink, not pink no.
- Deeper good boy—
- Relax—
- Good boy-
- Masters good boy—
Rubbing the rubber.
- Feels good—
Tights , tight.. tights rub on my chest.
- Feels good—
- Feels good—
- You want them on, don’t you boy—
- Wear them for your master—
- Pink, your colour-
- Makes you happy—
- Feel good—
- Pink is good—
- Your color—
- Your masters color-
- Makes you feel—
- So good—
- As it slips on—
- Masters rubber—
So good I can feel the rubber swallow my feet, working upwards, the tights covering my legs, sealing them in latex, masters hands press up on me arching my back from the seat, my cock pressed hard, flattened, the, I can feel the dildo hollow moulded, a sheath, work, slide into me, open me and then the rubber snaps closed about my waist
- Feels good—
- Feels so good—
- You’re a good boy—
- Masters good boy—
- A very good boy-
- Rubber boy—
- Pink rubber boy—
- Look good—
- So good—
- Feel so good—
I can feel myself slide to the floor, kneeling, and bend back, arc back, arms strained behind me hands spread on the floor. I can see, see.
- Good boy relax—
- You’re a good boy—
- A kneeling boy—
- An object—
- Masters object—
- Stay still—
- So still—
- Feels good—
- To stay still—
I can see, his hands clear, white a paste, grease forced down into the tights, smoothed over the skin, my skin, boy skin, masters skin, still, so still, feels good. I can feel my cock, cock, his hand twisting it, hard down, pushed down, under the rubber, masters rubber pinned to my leg, by the rubber, pink rubber, masters pink rubber. I’m a good boy a very good boy, an object, masters object.
I remember the thump of a compressor. Give me a hand here David, the plastic, should have set by now, stop him from drying out. Being lifted and in the crate, the packing crate, packing pushed around, around me, burying me, as I fade into darkness the last thing I hear is the sound of the lid being nailed closed.