I Have No Idea
Chapter 3
By Redsliver
I’m pretty sure Ellie must have been 50% lungs by volume. Could your eardrums rupture from a whistle? Dad was laughing.
I half frowned. The Waterfront was a long white sand beach with several well kept buildings overlooking it. There were walk up bars, volleyball games, sunbathers, lifeguards, swimmers, and a sand castle competition spotted across the beach. It was overloaded with beautiful women and peppered with men of varying ages. A couple women were clearly guests. Marketably hot they were not. It wasn’t expressly a nude beach, but it certainly had no limits on the dress codes of the guests or girls.
Ellie’s whistle had perked up a couple dozen of nearby women. They stood straighter, and looked around like spooked prairie dogs. Two lifeguards waved but turned their attention back to the ocean. There were only four people in the water. An older man, my dad’s age, was giddily splashing around with three women whose combined age was less than his. He yanked off a blue bikini top and threw it away. Closer at hand, girls on stand-by worked on their tans. Waitresses in grass skirts held empty trays waiting on a sign. The sand castle builders’ attentions were called back to the three young men they were serving. There were women everywhere waiting on me. Ellie cocked her grin and with her eyes said, “Pick one.” On a whim I pointed to a mid-twenties very fit girl in a more modest bikini. She took one sultry sip out of a coconut and handed her drink to a waitress. She grinned and sashayed towards us.
“Hey Garth!” Ellie beamed to Dad.
“Hey sweetie,” Dad approached wearing a very tight speedo. I blushed, clenched my jaw, and kept my eyes up. I could see that he was a might tipsy. I had got that bug from him, though neither of us were compulsive drinkers. He had had more than a couple mai tais. His three girls were doing their best to hold him aloft. Nastya squeezed in tighter for our newcomer to join us. Dad kept talking to Ellie, “Happy Valentine’s Day, little girl.”
“Valentine’s Day is tomorrow,” I recalled aloud. It was a stupid thing to say but I was grasping at something solid I could hold onto. Dad seemed to sober up in that moment. The redhead and the Asian girl closest to him staggered as he stood taller.
“Maybe, but I know better to try and keep up with you and this little firecracker on a big celebration day,” He laughed. “Only time I’ll get to wish my favorite daughter-in-sin a happy holiday.”
“Daughter-in-sin?” I struggled.
“It’s one of Livvie’s jokes,” he smiled. “Clever, eh?”
“He’s woken up,” Ellie said in hushed tones. The girls under my right arm weren’t grokking the conversation. I squeezed my hand on Ellie’s hip to warn her. She smacked me with the back of her fist on the chest.
“Took him a bit longer than the others.” Dad nodded mostly with his chin. “I mean Larry flashed for a couple of weeks but you’ve been have lucid every couple of days or so.”
“You saw him flashing!” Ellie gasped.
“I don’t remember even bits of anything,” I pointed out. I lifted my arm off of Nastya and our new friend. It was a fun and empowering feeling to have three girls on my arm but it wasn’t particularly comfortable. I also talk with my hands and that was being prevented. The girls didn’t seem insulted. I took a deep breath of thanks. Nastya walked behind Ellie and me. She laid hands on Ellie’s hips; new girl snuggled in against my back. I almost got to speak another point but I was warm, giddy and distracted.
“No one knew,” Ellie grumbled. “Amanda and Rena’ll be pissed and—Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I haven’t seen you or your sister in a week, sweetie.” Dad did the same as I did stepping ahead of his girls. “Only Shani and Larry ever seem to want to join Liv and I for dinner.”
“Yeah, that’s awkward.” I crooked my head as I watched Dad’s girls go off and leave him.
“The Sisyphus is wearing off, buddy.” He chuckled. “Join me for a drink.”
It was a good idea. I agreed and we six walked over to the little beach bar I had called—
“Dakota,” She told me as I looked her in the face for maybe the dozenth time.
“Oh, that’s going be several trainwrecks. You never forget a name.” Dad laughed at me.
“I’m not even good with faces,” I countered.
Dakota and Nastya went around the bar and shooed away a woman I hadn’t called on. Nastya started making Dad a mai tai. Dakota made me a gin martini with a twist of orange. I grinned as she shook it and didn’t stir.
“Dad, I am overwhelmed.” I admitted looking at him. He was in better shape than I’d have guessed, maybe, like me, like Shani, like Larry, like Rena we had changed our habits and got in better shape. Dad was still rounder and had a belly. His chest and shoulder hair was as white as his head. He still had a good hairline though. I must’ve inherited mine from mom. I put my hands down. He reached over and squeezed my shoulder.
“Boy, you were always garbage with women,” he announced knowing clearly how much that would sting. “I always expected Shani would eventually wrestle a kid out of Larry but otherwise I figured our family was just going to be the five of us.”
“Ugh,” I felt gross.
“Liv always wanted to be a mom. I had gotten a vasectomy back before you were born.” He explained. “Not before you were conceived, obviously. Get that stupid confused look off of your face. It doesn’t suit you.”
“I’ve always been easily confused.” I sipped my drink. “This is amazing, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Dakota beamed. Ellie took the drink out of my hand and smelled it. I was about to say something. She put it back down.
“I’ve never drank,” She passed me back the glass. “It was Mel’s idea. We were going to have ou first drinks welcoming you back from the black. Except Amanda got knocked up and we all got competitive. I had it all planned out and everything.”
“I probably should drink less,” I said draining half the glass.
“So long as you can still find time to share a toast with your Dad.” Dad reached his glass over and clinked my rim. I lifted my glass. He shook my shoulder before taking his hand back. “To family.”
“Family.” I agreed, clinked again, and drank another quarter of my martini. It was very nice.
“Olivia.” I said. No one called her Livvie but Dad, and I only ever called her Liv to get her attention. “Ellie’s been telling me I made a promise to her.”
“And now that you can see clearly, you can’t see how you’d do something like that.” Dad grew somber.
“I couldn’t step on your toes like that.” I mumbled. “I—”
Dad smacked me in the back of the head. Ellie smacked me in the back of the head. I reached up and waited, staring into my drink, unwilling to turn and make eye contact with my dad. I made a quick swing of the eyes to check on Ellie. I was surprised to see her smiling. Her arms were crossed over her tits with impatience.
“You got to get a handle on yourself. On your actions and on their consequences.” Dad put his empty glass on the counter and Nastya cleared it away immediately. Dakota slid a replacement to Dad’s hand a heartbeat later.
“I don’t even know what my actions were. I own a fucking island.”
“Fuck Island,” Dakota corrected me. I smiled at her.
“Family, freedom, and fuck island.” I recalled and turned to Ellie who had at some point been given a pink iced tea. She nodded. Dad spoke and called me back to him.
“Those seem like good goals to have,” He slurred his s’s a little. I made sure Dakota and Nastya saw me shake my head and point at his drink. I also decided to stop after I finished the martini. “Family gives you somewhere to go home to. People to take responsibility for. People who give you meaning. Freedom is something you’ve always needed. You were always creative and manic about telling your stupid comic book stories. I swear to God I remember when you started telling bedtime stories back at me.” He was grinning in a nostalgic way we always saw when he was preparing thanksgiving dinner for Shani, Larry, and me. “Your stories were so unbelievably bad. They always ended the same way. Hero defeats the villain, gets the girl, and goes into space.”
“What did he do in space?” Nastya asked with a happy grin.
“We never found out.” Dad sipped his drink. I put down my empty glass. Nastya took it away, laughing at me. I always liked that feeling. I always liked eliciting a sympathetic laugh. I saw something so incredibly beautiful in that woman I couldn’t explain. Then I turned my head, and I saw that and more in Ellie. I leaned over and kissed her.
“Oh thank crap!” Ellie sighed when I pulled back. “We always worried that we were going to have to ask you for kisses and cuddles.”
“It’s Fuck Island.” I decided. “No one needs to ask.”
“Unless they are trying to seduce a policewoman, a medic, or a lifeguard.” Dakota recited some employee handbook. I figured those were reasonable restraints. I laughed. Dad grabbed my shoulder again.
“You’re worried about me and Larry.” He read me like a book. “Who makes you feel worse Shani or Larry?”
“Shani,” I whispered because her name felt like it weighed too much to say at full force.
“Yeah, that’s going to suck for Livvie.” Dad decided. “You were supposed to see her tonight?”
“Yeah, they had a date at The Castle.” Ellie told me. I looked up the hill, but from where we were we could only see the forest of palm trees behind the brick wall encircling The Waterfront.
“That’s the amusement park,” I asked.
“That’s the most expensive part of the island,” Dad laughed. “It’s also the only reason I never doubted you for a moment during your illness.”
“I’ve never liked calling drug use an illness,” I ground my teeth. “It’s hard to claim something that can be cured with willpower is equal to cancer after Mom.”
“Get another drink so we can raise a glass to her.” Nastya moved rapidly to mix me another martini. We just waited in that darkness until I could tip my glass to Dad’s.
“When did I start drinking martinis?” I asked. But the girls behind the bar didn’t know and Ellie apparently didn’t drink with me. She helped none.
“You change your drink with your atmosphere.” Dad grumbled. “I had to stop going to that Asian restaurant you built. I don’t care if it’s traditional, I don’t like warm liquor.”
“Sake?” I asked. “We had that at Larry and Shani’s Jack and Jill. That was a good party.”
“You go to different parties now.” Dad sighed. “You ready to stop circling this promise you made to Livvie or do you want to stall more trying to figure out your new life?”
“I don’t think I can handle Olivia without some sort of grip on reality.”
“Reality is accepting your world as it is. Imagination is for building your world better.” Dakota looked to me and to Ellie.
“Your wording is a little off but your English is coming along great.”
“Yeah, it’s nice for you to finally speak my language.” Dad laughed and I blinked.
“You’ve been speaking Portuguese.” I was flabbergasted. I turned hard to face Ellie. “I know Portuguese?”
“Yeah, you picked up a new language every six to eight months.” She shrugged. “It’s weird showering with you. You keep spitting out, what do you call them, phonames? Like rolling your r’s when you were learning Spanish and Portuguese.”
“You did not realize we were speaking another language?” Dakota said in English. She seemed worried. “You do seem to be getting better. You seem to be getting worse.”
“I, uh,” I couldn’t disagree. Dad had lost his grip on my shoulder when I had turned to Ellie. He reached up and swivelled me to face forward again.
“Mandarin, Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese, and German.” He told me. “Well, you’re only a couple of weeks into German.”
“Shit.”
“Hey, I always said you could do anything you put your mind to.” He sipped his drink and put another empty glass on the bar. “I didn’t believe it but I didn’t know about all these wonderful drugs you would get your hands on.”
“You’re just talking about Sisyphus, you dirty old goat.” She teased him and he waggled his eyebrows at her smirking.
“You mentioned that earlier. Sisyphus is that Greek legend, always pushing the boulder up a hill, but then it would roll back down and he’d push it up again.” I had felt school was like that. Pointless, fruitless. My bachelor’s of biology only told me that I could stay engaged for four years.
Dad was laughing. “That’s what that name means?” He was bellowing out with all of his lungs. “Jesus, one pill and you’ll be committed to the task over and over again.”
“It’s like a Viagra then?” I couldn’t laugh a little too.
“Yes, it’s a bit more potent and it motivates you as hard as it keeps you.” Dad laughed and I laughed. I realized we were talking about my Dad fucking sluts and I curbed my laughter.
“What does Olivia think about you and Sisyphus?” I asked quietly.
“Well, she doesn’t like it if it’s only her that has to do the work to cover me. She knows what I like and what she likes. We can always find the help we’re looking for.” Again that eyebrow waggle. I grew morose. Just picturing my stepmom, with her big smile, crooked teeth, lesbian haircut, and just loving presence. I swirled my finger around the lip of my glass. A short tone started and I pulled my finger away to keep from irritating others.
“Look, kid.” Dad took a deep breath. “I’ll admit. When you first started with Shani, I hated that chubby bitch. I had seen you and Larry fight over everything your whole lives, everything but Shani. That she would turn her back on my oldest like that. I was livid.
“Except, I hadn’t had the story at that point. I hadn’t seen Amanda’s drug or your new demeanour. Larry was devastated. Then he wasn’t. I guess that’s when his blackout started.
“I was only out for six hours. Three of which I slept through. So, I had to see the despair all again weeks later when he came to. I get why you’re afraid.”
I had planned against a third drink but I got another round for Dad and I. I had to find Larry too.
“Why doesn’t Olivia ask Larry to help?” I asked Dad. The euphemism help gurgled my stomach with nervous energy.
“She has, but he has different needs for the mother of his children.” Dad thanked Nastya for the drink. “I don’t blame him.”
“But I…” I looked over to Ellie. She was smiling, beautiful, gorgeous, instigating, sexual. She was going to have my kid. That overlaid a dozen filters or so. She looked young, younger than she should. I took a deep breath.
“Rena wasn’t your first choice either,” Dad said. “You had some bad ideas. Once Amanda and Rena were bickering over who was first. You decided to perform the most mad scientist experiment I had ever heard.”
“Oh God,” Ellie laughed. “Can you imagine?”
“I don’t think I can,” I admitted to the few context clues they gave me.
“Everyday, inseminate a new fertile, well timed girl, for a whole Goddamned year.” Dad snorted at the absurdity of it.
“That’s insane.”
“Were you looking for volunteers?” Nastya asked.
“I am happy with my birth control.” Dakota defended herself. I smiled, as much as I coud, and nodded.
“It was Larry who talked you out of it.” Dad said. “Livvie and I, we watched from a safe distance. It was I who suggested you put your wish for Family into order. Shani and Mel were peeing on sticks inside of four weeks.”
“Yeah,” Ellie drummed her fingers. She sipped her pink tea through her loopy straw. “I was a little scared when Mel got knocked up and I missed my first chance. It’s nice not being half of the twins most times, but well I hope we can still have fun once these are all settled.”
“OK,” I brushed her hair aside and smiled. I didn’t know what to say but apparently I had said enough right. She squeezed my thigh.
“I can’t do for Livvie what you can.” He told me, “Now, I guess it’s up to you to decide again whether you should.”
* * *