The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

This series is a parody of children’s cartoons featuring mind control as a cheap plot device that inevitably gets canceled at the end of the episode. Follow this series and others at http://statu-quo.fr/MC/main.php!

In Defense of Cartoon Villains

Episode One : Skull Island!

The Mystery Girls! Five girls, heroes extraordinaires!

Leona, the fearless leader! Bettina, the nerdy one that always dresses like she’s going skiing! Thorn, the tomboy that likes cute because she has to do something to prove she’s a girl! Clover, the southern cutie that will most definitely get featured on erotic fanart! Perverts. Tatsuki, the japanese one! Okay, she’s also a tomboy but she’s first and foremost japanese so for merchandising purposes she’s not at all like Thorn, okay?

The Mystery Girls are a team of adventurers who will stop at nothing to foil the evil plans of the nefarious Doctor Skull!

“Damn you, Mystery Girls! Daaamn youuuuu!”

It falls to them to save the innocent and the helpless, because of course the only courageous individuals in the whole world are five twentysomething girls! Well, there is the

Amazing Team, five boys, heroes extraordinaires too, but the girls are in their own team because cooties.

ANYWAY.

Today, the Mystery Girls are up against Doctor Skull again in his most villainous plot yet! Can they stop him? Probably!

MYSTERY GIRLS!

* * *

The five female heroes set foot on the beach. The spotless golden sand invites leisure and playtime. But the Mystery Girls aren’t here to play.

“Alright!” Shouts Leona. “Doctor Skull bought this Island and installed a lot of equipement here. Bettina! You’re the techy one. What do you think he’s planning?”

The girl in the pullover is covered in expectant stares.

“Huuuuh...I don’t know...Stuff?”

“That bastard!” Hisses Thorn through her pierced lips.

“That’s all right hun,” declared Clover, hugging her goth friend. “We’ll stop him.”

“Exactly! Mystery Girls, Justice AWAITS!” Bellows Leona.

Clover sighs.

“Still with this catchphrase, hun? You know we’ve grown up since we started this stuff. Don’t you reckon we ain’t girls anymore?”

“Well, Mystery Women just doesn’t have the same ring to it...Plus it’s kinda creepy.”

“Hey, Leona,” intervened Tatsuki. “What’s that?”

She pointed to the distance, over the palm trees.

“That’s your finger.”

“No, that.”

“Oh. That’s a volcano.”

“I can see that. I could not see that, however, in the satellite pictures.”

Leona shrugs.

“Well, maybe he built it then.”

Tatsuki raises her eyebrow.

“Maybe he built the volcano.”

“Yep?”

“The same guy that we busted one month ago for trying to create an evil, brainwashing rock band, and who got out of jail one week ago, has built a volcano on an Island in the middle of the Pacific.”

“Yep.”

“Why the fuck are you the leader again?”

“Because the TV execs think exposing children to a non-caucasian lead summons the money-eating locusts.”

“Yeah, like, you know that!” Said Clover, eyes rolling.

“Well, some answers are so stupid they’re worth repeating.” Grunted Tatsuki.

Leona put her hand on the asian’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry Tats, but there’s not much we can do.”

“Except kick ass!” Yelled Thorn. “To Doctor Skull’s lair!”

As if on cue, a strange metal object appeared in the sky, flying like an helicopter. It stops and hover in front of the Mystery Girls. A screen lights up, showing a logo the girls are all to quick to recognize. By force of habit, they assume a perfectly aligned dramatic group pose.

“Doctor Skull!” They shout in unison.

“Welcome to your doooooom!”

“Not a chance, Skull!” Shouts Leona with confidence. “We do not know yet what evils you are preparing, but we will stop you!”

“Oh no you won’t this time, Mystery Girls! You are no match for the untold perils I have created on this island!”

“What,” interjects Thorn “like that pool of flying sharks in last year’s tropical island?”

“I kinda liked it.” Protested Clover. “It had flair.”

“FAR WORSE, Mystery Girls! Even the henchmen are actually good this time! In fact, you might say they’re...mesmerizing!”

Tatsuki broke her pose of feigning a karate move and threw her arms down.

“For fuck’s sake, not this mind control thing again.”

“Yeah!” Agrees Thorn. “That was cute in the beginning but we’re adults now, this is really getting weird.”

“Last time he turned me into a cat...” Quietly whispers Bettina.

“Plus, you know dang well we turn back to normal before anything interesting can happen with the corruption of our familiar persona.” Mused Clover. “I reckon Mind control is an easy narrative shortcut for typical dramatic fare such as betrayal or loss, but the inevitability of our quick return to normal really reins in all the character development opportunities such control creates.”

Silence.

The wind chimes for a moment.

“Wow, you really thought about this, Clov.” Finally says Leona.

“Well sure, I’ve gone through this, like, a dozen times by now, hun. Once it becomes routine you start to get, like, meta about things, you know.”

“Wouldn’t know, you’re always the one he gets. Must be something in your character.”

“If I was the leader, I bet I wouldn’t get caught by those things nearly as dang much! You got it, what, three times?”

“Four. As much as Tatsuki.”

“Hey, at least you got variation, Leona! I was turned into an evil kunoichi every damn time! Fuck everything about race stereotypes.”

“Huh, girls?”

“Oh, don’t YOU fucking complain!” Shouted Thorn.

“GIRLS!”

The heroines turned their head to the flying device.

“You’re not turning back to normal this time.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No, I’m serious here.”

“Dude”, mocked Thorn. “You’re always serious. You’re always trying to take over the world! Silly is obviously not a central concept for you.”

“I know, I know...Look.”

The weary tone in the nefarious Doctor Skull’s voice comes as a surprise to the team of extraordinary girls, and they listen. Leona dramatically approached the machine.

“Let’s put all the usual talk aside for a moment. I...have confession to make.”

“A confession?”

“Yes. For many years, I have been a sick person.”

“Still are. I mean, you obviously haven’t changed. Island, volcano...”

“Ah, yes, the volcano. Nice touch isn’t it? Nah, that’s just being evil, that’s not what I’m talking about. You see...I...God it’s so shameful. I was an addict!”

“Addict to what?” Snidely replied the leader. “To failure?”

“YES! EXACTLY! Damn you, always being one step ahead! Daaaaamn youuuuuu! Huh, ahem. So, yes. I was addicted to failure.”

Leona laughs. Never since she first assembled the Mystery Girls to stop him in his quest to conquer the world did she see her nemesis sounding so...honest.

“It was all my damn personal coach’s fault! His dumb ass founded his entire idea on the “failure teaches you better than success” thing.”

“Ha ha ha, and you swallowed it? Dude, in this world, this is all about the go-getter attitude.”

“I fucking know! But by the time I realized how stupid this idea was in a world where five scrawny schoolgirls can go against billions of military hardware and not lose even goddamn once, it wasn’t a strategy anymore. It was...a passion. A guilty pleasure.”

In the background, Clover let out a disgusted “yeesh.”

“I mean, the faces of my henchmen when they have to report they failed yet again?

Fucking priceless. And it should damn right be because every time they cock my plans up, I lose the budget of a summer blockbuster. My point is, I ended up enjoying this status quo somewhat. I was less the villain and more the director of my own entertainment. Since you girls clearly wouldn’t live me the fuck alone, I began to have fun at your and my henchmen’s expense.”

The Mystery Girls were dumbstruck, and more than a little weirded out. Leona nonetheless managed to reply...

“Huh...You mean you did all of this while...knowing all those ridiculous plans would fail?”

“Damn right I did, you purposefully bland tosser! An evil, brainwashing rock band? Shit, who thinks of that without shooting for the record for shortest-lived world domination ploy?”

“Hey, we worked hard to foil that plan! And I’m not purposefully bland!”

“That’s the point! If you’re going to be all up in my shit, at least I want some quality entertainment out of it. But anyway. I got help. Now I’m cured. I will never suck on purpose again.”

Bettina seemed to take offense to that, and shoved Leona out of the way.

“On purpose or not, you’ll lose, evildoer!”

“Or what, Bets? You’re going to type away at your gay little computer and open all the doors again?”

“Yes!”

“Well turns out I can just, you now, NOT link the doors to the goddamn computer.”

“I will find a way! There’s always a way!”

“Yeah, good luck about that. Doctor Skull is in, baby, and he’s going to conquer the WORLD! Hahahahaha! And you’re going to help me as my future minions!”

The girls once again move into their group pose.

“Never!” Shouts Leona. “We are going to foil all your plans, find you and bring you to justice once again!”

“No you won’t!” Answers the villain in singsong.

“That does it! Girls, we’re splitting up.”

“Huh, you sure about that, Leona? He did imply he’s just been allowing us to win that entire ti...”

“Tatsuki. We. Split. Up.”

“That’s really not a goood i...”

“MYSTERY GIRLS, JUSTICE AWAITS!”

Riled up by Skull’s taunting speech, Bettina, Thorn and Clover all charge inside the jungle, leaving Tatsuki alone on the beach.

“...dea...”

Skull snickered. Tatsuki growled at her teammates’ recklessness, then turned to the machine.

“I swear, if I see that kunoichi bitch with her sleep darts and her magic mind controlling jade statue again, I am going to kick your ass so hard, your skull will develop its own gravitational force.”

“Aw, you sure? You look reaaaalllly good with a cloth mask on, and....”

“Cars will automatically swerve into you.”

“Alright, alright. I guess I owe you that much. Kasumi! I’m sorry, you’re sitting this one out. Here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got myself a group of henchgirls to create.”

The mechanical stand-in then flew away into the sky. Tatsuki clenched her fists.

“God dammit, that shouldn’t be worrying...So why am I worried?”

* * *

Leona zipped through the jungle at great speed. In the Mystery Girls nice, suburban hometown, she was the ace of the track and field team. She was pissed, and needed the adrenaline boost. Bland? Her? She was the popular, athletic, nice girl with ideals of courage. Just because she lacked a gimmick like the others didn’t mean she was bland!

“Ugh, this is such bullshit.” She thought, still running, seconds before she saw it. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, panting from the effort.

Before her was...night. Right in the middle of the jungle, at noon. And that wasn’t all. There was also a castle. A big, black, ominous gothic castle.

“W...TF.”

Leona’s bravado gave way to caution and she pushed a button on her watch, turning its fake clockface into a real, high tech communication device.

“Mystery girls! I have run into a gothic castle here. Also, it’s night.”

“Leona!” Shouted Tatsuki, her angry face appearing on the display. “We really have to talk about you being the only one that can activate the communication. But never mind that for

now...A flippin’ castle?”

“Yes!”

“The logistics behind this place are so fucked.”

“I’m more concerned about the night thing, Tats.”

“Basic supernatural can explain spontaneous night, but only Toyotomi Hideyoshi can explain spontaneous castles.”

“Are there bats flying everywhere?” Asked Thorn, appearing alongside the asian in the display, pushing her a bit to get some space.

“Nah, I don’t see anything.”

“Then we’re cool, it’s not Countess Draculina. God, that would have been bad news if she teamed up with Skull.”

“In any way, I’m going in!”

Bettina barged in, cramping up the space in the communications monitor.

“No you’re not! You know your boundless courage makes you bad around the supernatural!”

“What?” Defiantly shouted Leona. “I’m not bad around the supernatural!”

“Please, you’re a one-girl army of slasher victims!”

“Yeah”, observed Tatsuki. “You’re what ghosts hallucinate about when they do drugs. And you not going headfirst into some creepy castle is how they define a bad trip.”

“Please, Leo!” Continued the geeky one. “If you go there you’ll become some kind of weird creature again!”

“You have nothing to worry about. Leona out!”

“God dammit Leo...”

And she cut the communication short.

“I am SO not bad around the supernatural.”

Resolute, she walked to the castle, and pushed the heavy wooden doors. Inside was a huge central staircase splitting up into two ends, red carpet everywhere, and two, no, three

halberd-wearing armors stands. It was such a picturesque display that Leona felt it would be the least courtesy to close and lock the doors behind her by herself.

Then she brandished her flashlight.

“Batteries one month old, almost entirely empty, rickety old lighter as the only back up...Dang girl, you ace at planning.”

Suddenly, in the silent hall, shrieks came from everywhere! A cloud of bats converged in front of brave Leona, who, in course, did not flinch, her eyes fixed in a steely, kind of

metallic all around in fact, stare. Already the bats were forming a humanoid shape.

“I have come under this full moon,” An echoing, imposing voice as the body of the world’s most feared vampire materialized “to rule over the darkness and extinguished light forever and EVER! I am Countess Drac...oh for fuck’s sake, wrong castle.”

“What do you mean, evil vampiress?” Dramatically replied Leona.

“I mean I am expected in Transylvania right now to fight the Terrific Teens but I’m here because this Doctor Skull ponce built an entryway to the darkness world to fight some second-

grade kiddie heroes that don’t know when to quit. I’m not even part of this continuity, I mean what the fuck?”

“Hey, you fought us in a whole story arc once, Countess!”

“Yeah, and I got half of my powers retconned so you dweebs could possibly win against a villain designed for goddamn superheroes! I even turned you! Not enthralled, nooo, actually gave you the goddamn Embrace!”

“Oh, you bit me and gave me blood, big deal.”

“Yeah, big deal, you died! And then your gothic friend staked me, and that saved you from vampirism somehow! Because spunkiness beats undeath? I don’t even fucking know. Mystery Girls are bullshit.”

And then, she exploded into a cloud of bats, dispersed, and eventually disappeared.

“We...We...We are not bullshit!”

Disheartened by the dismissal of the villain, the struggle against whom she took as one of her gang’s finest moments, Leona sat down on the staircase and sighed heavily.

“We do good in the world. We protect the innocent. So what if we’re not the stupid terrific teens? We represent the courage present in all of people. Ingeniosity! Resourcefulness! Now all the heroes nowadays are lucky idiots who were either born with their talents or became demigods because they forgot their damn watch or something!”

If she wanted an answer from the castle, though, it didn’t seem particularly forthcoming. But Leona wasn’t about to let herself be brought down by a vampiress talking shit. She was, after all, the fearless leader of the Mystery Girls, the young detectives, the spunky scouts! She got back on her feet, and shouted her rallying cry :

“Mystery Girls, Justice AWAITS!”

She pressed on, engaging the dark corridors, eyes darting at every moving shadow. Nothing to worry about, she thought. She had gone through a castle’s dark bowels a solid twenty times by now, and she got captured only three times.

“Well, sure, if we have to get technical about this,” she mused audibly, “we usually split up when already in the castle, and after that at least one of us always got caught. Mh...That’s bothersome. Maybe I miscalculated somewhere? Naaaah, even if I get caught it will only put the others in the spotlight. Oh yeah. Best leader ever.”

Then she heard something. A shrill, high-pitched voice coming from one of the rooms.

“Is someone there? Help! Please!”

“An innocent? TO THE RESCUE!”

Leona quickly opened the door behind which she could heard the pleas, and saw a library. An ancient library, one with rows of books going up to the ceiling. She heard the small voice chime its cries for help. Determined to help, Leona scouted the rows of books and finally located the innocent in need. A cute little fairy in a jar! She had butterfly wings, a perfectly proportioned human body in mouse size, and her body save for her head seemed coated in a jet-black liquid.

“Mrs. Mystery Girl, you’ve got to save me, there’s a big bad monster in this castle and it captures all the light fairies!”

“You seem awfully black for a light fairy.”

“Yes, this is because the castle leads to the darkness dimension! This is why it’s always night outside even when it’s noon! They capture us and keep us here until our light goes off, so the patch of land we guard falls into endless night!”

“How horrible...Hang on, little fairy.”

Leona took the jar and removed the cork, freeing the blackened fairy.

“Thank you, Mystery Girl! Wheee!”

She flew around the place, shedding drips of the black material infecting her.

“We should get you out of that awful place. Follow me!” She said, walking back to the corridor leading to the entry hall.”

“Yay!”

“So, huh...You know us? The Mystery Girls?”

“Of course we do! You don’t deal with the supernatural as much as other hero teams, sure, but you’re still the most popular! Normal humans are really important to fairies, you know?”

“No kidding?” Replied Leona, feeling uplifted.

“Yeah! You totally should be known more than those stupid Terrific Teens!”

“Oh, tell me about it, little fairy. They wouldn’t know heroism if it bit them in their mandatory gimmicky weak spot.”

As Leona walked, the fairy began to circle around her faster and faster, leaving increasingly more black goo in her wake.

“You should be the stars if you ask me! Mystery Girls, greatest heroes in the world!”

“I don’t know...We can handle Skull, sure, but there are plenty of villains out there...”

“And so what? Your team is all about beating impossible odds! You could beat every villain in the world at once, wouldn’t you?”

“Actually, no, I don’t thing we...”

“You are the Mystery girls. You can do anything. Anything you please.”

“Let’s just...huh...get out of this castle, alright?”

Leona didn’t even realize she had stopped walking, mesmerized by the fairy swooshing in rythm before her eyes, spraying black goo everywhere. She got some on her body. Some on her skin.

“You could do anything you want...Wouldn’t that be nice? Put these Terrific Teens in their place. Be the world’s most popular heroes again.”

“Yeah, they really suck...Especially the alien one. Fuck, who does she think she is? We humans can save ourselves just fine, bitch!”

The fairy seemed to grow. But not her body. Only the black coating. She continued to fly around Leona, spraying her with an increasing quantity of the goo.

“You what you need, Leona? An R-rating. Your old fans grew up, and the snotty little brats of today cry if there isn’t a building getting destroyed. You’ve growned, you can’t let yourselves be shackled by rules again, can you?”

“I...That’s not...Right...”

“If you want to be remembered as a teenage girl who went lame when she grew up, be my guest. If you want to be relevant...Powerful...Significant...Say it.”

“I...”

“Say it.”

“I want to...I’m...I’m the goddamn leader of the Mystery Girls. The world OWES ME!”

As she bellowed this selfish cry, the fake fairy let out a laugh and revealed herself as her true nature. Ink, the Living Darkness. She wasn’t anyone the Mystery Girls actually fought before, she was featured on a kiddy horror series. But Doctor Skull hired her, figuring no one would be better at revealing Leona’s darkest desires.

Her true nature revealed, Ink enveloped Leona with her dark body. She shared with her every dark thought. Every vision of the world seen through the shadows. The unseen. The uninvited. The ignored. It send Leona into a rage. Nobody had the right to throw her into the unknown. She was a hero. A leader. And if the world had become so corrupt that it couldn’t even recognize its own heroes...

“I’ll just have to conquer it back...”

Leona couldn’t resist. Didn’t want to resist. Ink covered her in her darkness until they became one. Leona never was the brightest of the Mystery Girls...

But from now on, she would always be the darkest one.