Nebula Volume VI: Phoenix Coda
I haven’t noticed it for awhile, but now all I can think about is how Mistress left a permanent mark in my flesh. She even added the perfect touch by adorning it with a silver star holding a stone the same color as my mother’s mist. It’s the perfect symbol of her control. It’s a symbol of my obedience. The more I stare down at it, the more it feels eternal. I can almost hear the song playing from that hanging jewel instead of the earbuds nestled so deep inside of me.
I’ve been hearing it in my sleep, when I’ve been able to sleep. The tour has been long and the band’s needs have come first every time. They’ll be keeping their names. That makes them more important.
The tour is finally over. I’m not sure if I’m disappointed that it means an end to my serving Mistress out in the open, a pause in my autopilot singing, or excited to be back kneeling before Mistress. I know I traveled through Midas at one point, but I don’t remember it. It’s harder to remember things lately. It feels better to accept, and forget.
Nikki pulls my head down against her. My lips suckle on instinct even before her nipple presses between them. My tongue slides up to flick at her nipple as I suckle harder, all in rhythm to the song pounding into my open mind. I can barely feel anything in my head besides the song. Everything else feels like leftovers, scraps, and other words for things that might have once had a use but just don’t work anymore. The more the song strengthens my obedience, the more it turns the rest of me into raw material for Mistress to shape as she wishes.
Heather’s hands pull my top up over my breasts and knead. Her fingers brush my nipples, twist them, tug, and I moan into Nikki’s breast with fluttering eyes. I’m just a caged songbird on stage and a sex slave behind closed doors.
Mistress sent my parents tickets for the show in Midas, but I don’t know if they came. I never saw them. I was too busy performing for the crowd, or for the band. I’ve memorized how each of their hands feels. I’ve memorized the way each of their bodies taste. Somewhere in the tour they stopped being so teasing. At one point I lost track of the orgasms. I just know they felt good.
Earbuds pop loose. Tasha’s lips press to my ear. Her voice feels like a tongue at my clit. The music disappearing doesn’t disorient me anymore, it just makes me feel more alert, more present. It means that it’s time to pay attention. “We’re almost home. Then the last of Sylvia goes away.”
It’s so hard not to stop suckling and just scream with the pleasure those words push into my head, but I force myself to use the pleasure to suckle harder. That, or the song does. It’s hard to tell the difference anymore. The song guides me.
“Then you’ll just be her nebula. Not a name. Just a title.” Heather’s voice comes from the other side of Nikki, and when my eyes are open in their fluttering I can see her nuzzling against our guitarist lovingly. “You’ll be the band’s. Hers. But Mistress said by now it would just be a formality. She told us exactly what to do with you, including telling you this now. It feels so good to obey her. You’re so lucky . . .”
They’re all so beautiful. They’ve been so good to me, training me, using me, guiding me down the path Mistress wants. They’re like the different instruments in the song. Each so beautiful, so melodic, so perfect. I love them all.
A part of me wishes that Aurora had learned an instrument. If she were here now I think that would make it even better. Maybe some day I could find a use for her, give her to Mistress. I just want to give her everything. I would give her my mothers if I could. I would give her everyone I ever knew that she even hinted she wanted. I’d give them all to her, already half lost to her in my mist.
“It’s going to be so special . . . You’ll be our little singer all the time. It’ll be amazing. The perfect reward.” Nikki’s fingers going through my hair feel so strong. It’s just another reminder that I’m so weak compared to her. I could never fight her off, even if I was still able to want anything I wasn’t told to want.
Just a formality . . .
I hear the limo stop, and a moment later the door pops open. Glancing at the open door the first thing I notice is a pair of long, tan, very curvy legs that pour down into soft red heels. With how little of my mind isn’t programmed to stay in the gutter, my first thought about red is fuck-me, but the heels seem more like a snuggling color than one so forceful. She has a nice body besides the legs. I bet Mistress spends a lot of time with her inside where an employee wearing nothing doesn’t get you on the news.
One by one the band exits the limo. I wait to follow. The eager half of me is growing more and more impatient, but she’s not the one in control. Mistress is in control. Without Mistress here Nikki is in control, but that doesn’t change how obedient I am.
“Come, nebula.” My hips shake, my thighs clench, and my eyes roll back into my head before I remember some words have two meanings. My cheeks burn with embarrassment, but at least I was being obedient. My legs are still shaking in aftershocks, but I wiggle myself out of the car regardless. Standing is a trick. Following Nikki is harder, but I obey. I will always obey. I am Mistress’s nebula.
The woman with the soft-colored red shoes smiles at me, winking in the strangest way as I walk by. Something about it makes me think of Aurora, but I’m not at all sure why. She never winked all that much . . .
Nikki grabs my hand and gives me a soft tug. I nod and follow closer to her. Her hand feels so nice to hold. There’s something so comforting about her strong grip. I know there’s no way to resist, and I know she’d keep me safe. There’s no more doubt left. Belonging to Mistress is the best kind of safety there is: safety from myself.
Time seems to jump, the time between the front door and Mistress’s door fading too quickly to grasp, and I tremble with excitement. Soon there will be no going back. Soon . . .
“Welcome home, my little nebula. It’s been too long.” Mistress grins down at me as I fall to my knees before her. The rest of the band is gathered around her, but I gaze into her eyes without a hint of wavering. “The time apart did you some good. I think you realize your place much better now. Now all that’s left is one final accessory. You already wear one sign of ownership, I think it’s time to make that two.”
Unbidden, I arch my neck with a gasp. I don’t know what’s coming next. I really don’t. It’s so thrilling. I’m obeying without acting. I’m acting without thinking. I am Mistress’s more than I’ve ever been my own.
Mistress turns away and then turns back with a simple black choker in her hand. Hanging from it is a small padlock, which she quickly displays has no keyhole. My thighs clench and my pussy juices. The symbolism is so clear. Once I’m wearing that, there will be no way to unlock my mind. I’ll be her slave forever.
She laughs one of her twisted laughs, making me mewl loudly. There is no focus but her. There is no purpose but her. She is my everything.
“And now, to seal away Sylvia LaSilvas forever.” I arch higher as she leans forward. My mind is bound by the spidery choker, wrapped and pinned, helplessly controlled. Identity, self, thought . . . are all gone. “Now tell me . . . Who are you?”
“I . . . I am . . .” My mouth moves, but I can’t form the words. No answer feels right, and I can only tell her the right answer. It pours into me in a flash of orgasmic euphoria. “Whoever you want me to be.”
Mistress’s eyes hood, and I can tell from her moan that she’s just as turned on right now as I am. “Perfect. Always so perfect. A perfect body, a perfectly obedient mind . . . Now it’s time to make use of your perfect tongue. I missed your eagerness.” Mistress slowly steps back before falling onto her chair as she spreads her legs. “Girls, feel free to enjoy yourselves. I’m going to be keeping your singer’s tongue rather busy, but you know I love seeing your bodies moving as one.”
She doesn’t need to hint twice that she wants to watch the band fuck. Clothes are already flying through the air, tops, panties, skirts, but I don’t even look up as I crawl to Mistress and nuzzle up her leg before letting my lips melt into her knee.
Behind me I hear Nikki moan first, and it sends a shudder along my spine. Obedience to Her is so erotic. She had to rebuild me to teach me that, but now I know, and there is no sweeter truth in the world. Fingers slide through my hair. Nails bite into my scalp just enough to feel. Legs rub over my back. All I am is her toy, her tool, her creature. Things that could be changed to suit her shift through my mind, but I dismiss them one by one. Whatever she wants, I’ll give her. That’s all I ever need to do.
“Mmmm . . . God you have a wooonderful mouth. Use some of your power, just enough to spice the feeling. They always quiver so much when you do that. I want to feel it.” I tremble as she speaks and hurry to comply with a shuddering groan. My lips quiver faintly as I open that place inside of me and let just enough of my sparked mist slide into her clit. My tongue moves quicker, grinding that feeling of electric swirling heat into her, and she screams.
The orgasm hits me hard as my thighs clench. I’ve never heard her scream like this. I twist it around her more, rubbing it into her sensitive nerves, coaxing the pleasure out of her body, and she screams more and more. Fulfillment unlike anything else forces itself through me and I feel the afterglow burning into me almost hotter than the orgasm itself. I’m fulfilling her in ways no one else ever has. She’s never felt this swirl of purple bliss and silver ecstasy. I can taste just how satisfied she feels. She feels so glorified.
“Nebula! My slutty little nebula slave!” She pulls me close and tight as she can while her legs wrap tight as they can, and I follow her over the edge. It feels so divine, tastes so perfect . . . it’s everything I could ever want to make her feel so satisfied. “Oooh fuck . . . fuck . . . Mmm . . . Crawl up into my lap . . . I want to feel you against me.”
My body feels too lazy to respond as I try to crawl into her lap, and it actually takes a few tries. My legs are too much like jello after giving her so much pleasure. I need to work on that. She wanted me to obey, not to struggle to obey.
Mistress’s arms wrap around me so magically, cradling me to her chest, and I moan at the tenderness. Her hand strokes along my thigh, feeling how slick I am. It makes me purr and feel more content than I can ever remember feeling. This is my everything. This, singing when she wants me to, anything she wants me to . . .
I kiss her breast softly, moaning in bliss as my eyes flutter against her. Mistress. Such a perfect name for such a perfect woman. I couldn’t ask for a better owner.
“Good little nebula, my nebula, plucked right out of the night’s sky for the simple price of a song. Mine forever . . . I wonder what the future will bring.” Her fingers play through my hair, and over my slit, again and again in such a tender, repetitive motion. When the sound of glass shattering rings through the room, I’m so melted my body can barely stiffen at all.
“I’m glad I can fly, climbing that many flights on a fire escape really would have been a bitch.” Sarah, brushing glass off of herself without the slightest bit of wincing, approaches from Mistress’s bedroom. She’s all dressed up in her Silver Girl uniform, and I can still see a faint glow around her. I would worry or feel nervous or something, but Mistress hasn’t told me to react. I know she can deal with this situation. I don’t acknowledge Sarah at all.
Mistress does feel a little tense, but I’m not worried. “Ah, so the beautiful Silver Girl drops by to pay me a visit. Girls, you can take a break.” The band stops moaning and fucking to curl up close. Mistress’s hand at my crotch stops moving, but the one stroking my hair doesn’t. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
She doesn’t sound like she’s taking this very seriously, but I can hear that she is. Her heart is beating a thousand times faster. I can hear the fear in her voice, and it makes me cringe.
Sarah steps closer, holding out one gloved hand. In her classic offensive pose she stretches out a single finger as the tip begins to brightly glow silver. “This would have happened eventually, since that song you used on Valerie is apparently quite the ear worm . . . But you actually owe this visit to an anonymous phone call. Said your contracts were a little more binding than legal, and an extra detail here or there. Did a little digging in my lover’s head, and what do I find but a nice little mental block. Good show at trying to make it look like Sylvia put it there, by the way. Didn’t fall for it for a moment, but nice show.”
“Why thank you.” Mistress is growing more and more uneasy by the moment. I can feel her mind racing. There’s nothing I can do, especially without her guidance. Even with it, I don’t know what I could do. I obey. I don’t think of actions on my own.
“Welcome.” Sarah smirks as her eyes shine in that way that screams she knows she has the upper hand. “So, you mind-fucked my daughter, and my wife. Then, you mind-fucked my daughter into raping my wife. I’m sorry, but tonight is just not your lucky night. Since the only physical injury she seems to have is a navel piercing you’re getting off easy and I’ll just be sparking your mind into oblivion before calling in the authorities. You also get a final quip in. If you keep it short.”
Mistress stiffens. I can sense the fatalism in her. She can’t find a way out. “Can it be a question? I’m afraid I’m all out of quips.”
Sarah seems to think for a moment, tapping a finger to her lips, and then shrugs. “What the hell. I don’t imagine you’ll be asking very many questions pretty soon. You’ll just be someone’s toy in a small cell. You know few chicks in prison dig having a mind-controller in a cell with them, right?”
How Mistress avoids screaming, I have no idea, because her heart rate is insane. “How did you get here so quickly from Midas? I searched through Sylvia’s mind, and she mentioned you could use magic to teleport yourself. Why break in through my window?”
“Dramaticism. And, I accidentally teleported into the parking lot.” As soon as Sarah falls silent, a barrage of silver lights shoot from her fingertip and Mistress quakes against me. Just enough of my energy is still flowing through her to make me feel each spark temporarily blanking out all of Mistress’s ability to think. Sarah is so good at focusing those sparks to hit just the right places to flat-line a mind.
It took Mistress so long to fully demolish my mind, but it only took Sarah five seconds to smelt Mistress down into raw obedience. Anything she says right now would be carved into her mind. She won’t be Mistress much longer.
She should have shot Sarah while she was sleeping.
“Goddess, Sylvia . . . I should have come with you instead of Valerie. I should have forced you and Aurora both to stay in Midas . . . You’re both too young, unprepared . . . I should have known better.” Sarah instantly deflates now that she’s the only one in the room that has any free will. “I can only imagine how thoroughly she’s conditioned you with all the time she’s had. I know by now I’d be mewling pitifully in fright at my arrival. Looks like you inherited the LaSilvas luck . . . Here, let me help clear that out of your head.”
I whimper, curling tighter against Mistress. I know what Sarah can do. Her hand is already glowing in a much different way than it usually does. There’s nowhere to hide. There’s nothing to do but whimper and try to squirm away.
White-silver light burns across my vision as her hand presses against my forehead. At first it feels like an intense headache, and then . . . calm. Soft. A white light cradles me in my mind, and I have to blink a few times to believe what I’m seeing. I’m in a pure white room, melted into a pure white sofa, with Sarah standing over me. We’re not in Nina Corvi’s apartment. The song is gone. I can think.
The song is gone!
I squeal in relief, but don’t feel much like moving. I can think my own thoughts! I’m free from that bitch’s control. I’m even dressed, even if it is in the outfit she chose for me. I have to admit I love it. Even the piercing suits me.
Sarah laughs gently and reaches down to stroke my hair. “This place isn’t real, sweetie. We’re actually in a mindscape created by that mind-restoring light of mine.” Carefully she wiggles into the sofa beside me and pulls me up into a tight hug. “I just needed to be sure you were okay in here. I know I can bounce back from anything but . . . Sylvia . . . I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner. I should have known when we got tickets but didn’t hear from you. Valerie should have stayed . . . or I should have followed her when she came back home to Midas. No matter what, I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
It’s not her fault, and I know that even as I cling as tight as I can. The tears in my eyes feel real enough even if this is just a mindscape. That bitch Corvi used me. She’s such a monster. She really felt proud of what she’d done to Rachel. She didn’t care about anything but my body and my voice.
Moments ago that thought would have made me tremble with pleasure. Now, it just makes me shudder with revulsion. My head is full of music, and all she wanted was a voice synthesizer with a nice rack. I can’t stop shaking, and the tears feel so consuming.
“It’ll be okay . . . I promise. I’ll help make sure Nina Corvi spends a long time behind bars for what she’s done to you, and I’ll help make sure the rest of your band is okay. We can take some time just you, Valerie, and I to figure out what to do next. There’s no need to worry about anything, we’ll help get your life back on track.” Her voice is so soothing. Only willpower is keeping her from crying as hard as I am. I don’t know how she manages it.
My thoughts are racing out of control. Go back to Midas? Run away from here so soon? There’s nothing for me back in Midas City. Aurora isn’t there. I won’t be able to continue my singing there. “No. I can’t go back.”
“No?! Sweetie, after what you went through I—”
“I’m not you!” I push away from her as hard as I can, practically jumping to my feet. “My dream isn’t so easy as running away from some small town to be some kind of costumed hero. I want to be a singer, and I can’t do that just anywhere! I’m not going to fall apart like you did! I’m not going to be a pitiful miserable wreck like you were! I have an apartment here, even if I barely remember what it looks like. I have money, lots of it. Nina left paper trails. Even if the band breaks up, even if the Soaring Phoenix is torn down. I still have a chance here. I’m not going to give up and go back home! I’m not that helpless!”
Sarah stares into my eyes. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her look so hurt. What right does she have to feel hurt? She saved me, but then she demanded I give up the only good thing to come from all this. Nina did do to me what The Lady did to her, but I’m not going to fold up like she did. I won’t pine after my controller like Sarah did.
Her lips move, but nothing comes out. Sarah always talks too much. Did I find a way to shut her up? I almost feel bad but . . . my singing is who I am. I can’t run away back to where no one knew it was special. At least, no one who could do anything about it knew it was special, which to me is exactly the same. Mom might have been happy just to do what she wanted to do and then stew in relative obscurity, but I can’t do that.
“I know you don’t mean all of this. You’re very emotional because of what’s happened to you. You don’t have to come home to Midas, but I’d still like to stay and look out for you. Just until this dies down. Please.” She sounds so on the verge of tears, or . . . I don’t know. All I can feel is frustration. She wants to hold me down and pull me back.
Even if she won’t admit it, she wants to use this to prove that I need to go home. She’ll stay and she’ll taunt me. The band is already doomed. The label is already doomed. Everything my loss of self gave me is doomed and she wants me to forget what I gained.
“No! You’re not even my real mother! Go back to Midas, and let me live my life! I won’t fail in my dream like you did for so long in yours!” I’m already regretting everything I’m saying, but I can’t hold it back. Maybe the anger Aurora always showed is in me too, but I’ve just kept it bottled up. This finally gave it a chance to show itself. All I can feel at Sarah is anger. Aurora raped me and she ran to help her. She’s only alive because my mother is dead. Even if Sarah is the same person with her memories, she’s not my mother. She’ll never be my Sarah. She doesn’t understand me at all.
The world falls apart and I’m naked curled up against Nina crying. Sarah doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t make a sound, but tears slide down her face. The tears make her skin sparkle in the most gorgeous way, but it doesn’t make me feel any less upset.
Her face twitches and she sniffs as she rubs the tears away. “I’m going to get some police over here to deal with her. Call me when you realize how much I love you.” Sarah walks over to the window and leaps out, sailing down towards the ground rather quickly. It almost looks like she’ll break her knees until she’s about a foot or two off the ground, and her descent slows as she starts to shimmer, and gracefully floats the rest of the way down like a falling feather riding the wind.
Starting to dress I stare down at the band. They don’t know what to do or what to think. I’ll make sure they end up okay. The police will help, but I’ll do my part, too, if I can. Maybe there’s still something to salvage of our lives. Maybe we can still realize our dreams together.
I realize how horrible what I said to Sarah was. She saved my mind, my life, and I . . . I can’t call her. I’ll wait until I can do something to make up for it. I’ll fulfill my dream again, my way, and I’ll thank her for everything,
Pitifully and half-clothed I collapse with the rest of the band and try to fade into oblivion.