The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Not Guilty by Reason of Omnipotence

By The Sympathetic Devil ()

Judge Lorinda McDoogall was somewhat apprehensive as she prepared to enter her court room. She didn’t know why. There was only one case on the docket and that was a very routine reckless driving case. Some out-of-towner that Manny had pulled over the night before at his speed trap just their side of the Carolina boarder. Cases like these were an important source of revenue for Staton, VA, but of little other significance.

Still, something in her 63 year old bones told her that this would be no ordinary case.

The defendant, one James Green of Boston, MA, was charged with reckless driving—common enough—but also with violating the local obscenity ordinance. This also was common, since Manny was so straight laced he would routinely write drivers up for having a tittie mag in their car. In this case, however, Manny had provided no details in his report.

Oh well. Lorinda would learn the sordid details soon enough. She checked her silver hair in the mirror and put her black robe over her conservative tweed suit. Everything seemed perfectly normal.

Still, something felt odd.

Her bailiff, Jeb, announced her and judge McDougal entered her court room. And something was odd indeed. There was a naked Asian woman with humongous breast implants standing behind the defendant. Lorinda gasped. She flushed. She fumed. How had Jeb allowed this to happen?

Of course, there wasn’t anything really wrong with it. Now that she thought about it, it was perfectly normal. And the woman was quite lovely. The defendant wasn’t bad looking either.

Lorinda chided herself silently. She had to remain professional! There were plenty of people who had a problem with a 25 year old hottie like herself being on the bench. If they suspected she was a raging bisexual nymphomaniac....

OK. She could do this. She bit her pouting lower lip and nervously stroked her long chestnut hair. She ascended the steps to her bench carefully in her 8-inch stripper heels.

She looked out over the small court room. This was her domain. She was in total control here. She commanded respect from everyone in the room.

Plus she looked damn hot. The bustier under her robe did amazing things to her double Ds. The amount of cleavage she was showing wasn’t unreasonable.

She pulled at her robe to rectify that.

‘’You may all be seated”, Lorinda announced in her smoky contralto, and the room complied.

“The defendant will please rise,’’ She continued.

The young man stood. Lorinda imagined him naked, his cock rising at her command. She quivered beneath her robe.

She had to focus.

“I understand you have chosen to represent yourself,” she said. “I’m ethically obligated to advise against such a course of action.”

“I appreciate that, your honor,” he said with a boyish grin. “But I’m pretty sure I’ll be o.k.”

“Very well,” she said. “Mr. James Green, you stand before this general district court accused of violation of Virginia State Motor Vehicle Code 1212J, reckless driving, and Local Ordinance 69, Public Indecency. How do you plead?’’

‘’Not guilty by Reason of omnipotence, your honor!” said the young man confidently.

Lorinda cocked her head to one side, causing her chestnut hair to swing fetchingly.

“I’m not sure I’m familiar with that terminology,” she confessed.

“May it please the court,” he said, winking at her conspiratorially. “I aim to demonstrate here in this courtroom that I, defendant James Green, have godlike powers that allow me to manipulate reality at will and that, as an omnipotent being, I should not be subjected to the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, nor of the township of Staton!”

He stared at her expectantly. She was very confused, but she knew what she had to do.

“It’s an unusual defense, but I’ll allow it,” she said. “Unless the prosecution objects.”

Lorinda looked at Jacqueline Maser, Attorney for the Commonwealth. The middle aged blonde woman was staring back at her dumbfounded.

“Your....honor?” she asked as if she wasn’t sure who Lorinda even was.

“Do you object to Mr. Green’s unusual plea,” the judge prompted.

She looked over at the defendant, who smiled back at her.

“Excuse me, your honor,” she said. “I need to consult with my associate Mr. Daniels.”

So saying, she pulled a large bottle of bourbon whisky out of her brief case and took several long pulls. As she did so, her short blonde hair seemed to undergo some sort of odd growth spurt, tumbling down to her shoulders as her suit seemed to retailor itself and her bust seemed to swell enough to rival Lorinda’s own rack. Judge McDoogall didn’t like that at all, but she couldn’t really call it contempt of court. Still, she would be keeping an eye on Ms. Maser, Esq.

At last, she finished her consultation and placed the bottle down on the table in front of her.

“The proshicushon hasss no objeshuns,” she informed the court, then giggled drunkenly.

“Very well then, Ms. Maser,” said Lorinda. “Present the Commonwealth’s case against Mr. Green.”

The blonde attorney stood on her kitten heels and smoothed down her skirt, which barely covered her cooch now. She placed her hands under her rack and hefted them. Satisfied, she strode cautiously forward as if the floor was unstable.

‘’Yer awner, <hip> the comsenwelf will prove tha the defenan was found driving a ve-hic!—al at shpeeds in essess of one hunerd miles an hour whiles having a naked lady suck on his man-thing, wissh iza clear vialation a both the law an the moral staners of this cumoonity, thankyouverymush.”

Lorinda arched a well-groomed eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Maser,” she said. “I’m not sure if I heard you correctly. Are you saying that the defendant is accused of receiving oral sex while driving over one hundred miles an hour?”

“You bess yer sweet an’ honorabubble ass thas wha’ I’s saying!” the prosecutor affirmed. “Thas wha’ the sherrif’ toll me! He was goin’ over a huner miles an hour with that slut o’er there suckin’ on his pecker! <hip!> may it pleash the court.”

“Oh my!” said Lorinda, quivering beneath her robe. The idea did indeed please the court for some reason.

“To that end, the proshikyooshin would like a call fer their firstest witness Sheriff Emanuel Spiecker to the stand for t’tell the court what the defendant was doin’ an’ shit,” the prosecutor announced.

“Very well,” said Lorinda. “Sheriff Spiecker, please take the stand.”

He did so. A small man in a uniform and mustache that both looked too big for him, Manny had less of the self-righteous zeal in his demeanor than he usually brought to court. He actually looked scared somehow. This case was just getting stranger and stranger. Lorinda’s bailiff swore Manny in and the drunken prosecutor asked him to relate the circumstances of the day before when he had arrested the defendant.

“Well, um, I was waitin’ with my speed gun just south of mile marker 1 on state road 69 when I heard the defendant approaching in a red Cadillac convertible with Massachusetts plates. My speed gun indicated the vehicle was traveling at one hundred three miles per hour. I immediately started my cruiser and turned on the lights and the sirens and mounted a pursuit. The vehicle continued to travel at speeds of at least one hundred miles per hour as I pursued the vehicle. I was unable to radio in the license plate number as I had to focus on my driving to maintain my pursuit of the defendant. He just kept goin’ without even slowin’ down for a good 10 miles, then all of a sudden he slows down so quick I nearly hit him. He pulled over to the side of the road and I did so as well. I jumped out of my vehicle and ran up to the defendant’s Cadillac. I found him with both arms resting on the back of the car seat grinnin’ up at the sky. I yelled at him to put his hands up and get out of the car, but he ignored me. I drew my weapon and approached the vehicle. There I discovered that the defendant had been driving with his pants around his knees. A woman who identified herself as Miss YumYum Fukadonki had her head in the defendant’s lap and was not wearing a seat belt. There was, um, biological evidence at the corners of her mouth that she and the defendant had been engaged in an indecent act. So I, um, arrested them and took them to the sheriff’s office to await this hearing.”

Manny fidgeted in the witness seat. Clearly this all made him very uncomfortable. Lorinda wasn’t surprised. He was a straight-laced Baptist and he would probably go into an apoplexy if he knew how Lorinda was soaking her little thong panties at the story. Lorinda clenched her thighs and shuddered. She looked to Jacqueline Maser, who hadn’t seemed to notice that her witness had stopped talking. She was staring at her own tits again, holding one in each hand and lifting them up, together, and out making a formidable shelf.

“Ms. Maser?” Lorinda prompted.

“Huh?” she said, looking up at the judge. “Oh, please, call me Jacqui, yer honorableness! <giggle> Thas my stripper name! <hip!>

Lorinda rolled her eyes.

“Do you have anything else to ask your witness?” the judge asked.

“Huh?” she said with an exaggerated head swing that eventually got her looking back at Manny. “Oh, yeah! Um, in yer profeshional opinion, Sheriff...Does this jacket make my titties look too big?”

She again held up her large melons, presenting them to the sheriff, who blushed and stammered out a no. Jacqui smiled triumphantly.

“No furzer quesshions, yer honer!” she announced, then strutted back to her seat and had another consultation with Mr. Daniels.

“You may cross-examine the witness now, Mr. Green,” Lorinda informed the defendant.

The young man gave the naked Asian bimbo a peck on the cheek and then swaggered over to take his place before the judge. He winked at her again, which made her blush above and gush below. It really was hard to maintain proper judicial decorum when she was just so damned horny.

“Sheriff Spiecker, you’ve testified that, having discovered Ms. Fukadonki having recently enjoyed a hot helping of man chowder, you arrested us and took us to the sheriff station, is that correct?” the young man asked.

“Yes, I did in fact do that,” Manny testified, but his voice quavered as if he was terrified.

“That seems like a rather abridged version of events,” the defendant smirked. “What was the first thing I said to you when you were going on about how I was driving too fast and didn’t pull over soon enough and all that?”

The sheriff blushed.

“You, um, said that, quote: ‘YumYum wasn’t finished yet when you started chasing us, but you look like you need a blowjob ten thousand times more than I ever did, so I guess it’s a good thing you pulled us over’ end quote,” Manny admitted.

“And what happened next, Sheriff?” Mr. Green probed.

“I, um, I removed my uniform, then put back on my hat and boots,” the sheriff confessed. “Ms. Fukadonki then proceeded to perform oral sex upon my manhood as I stood by the side of the road.”

“And what did you do while Ms. Fukadonki was sucking on your pecker?” the defendant asked.

“I, um, well, I sang ‘I feel pretty’ from West Side Story, just like you asked me to, as loud as I could,” the devastated sheriff conceded.

Lorinda suppressed a giggle. The Sheriff looked resentfully at her and she looked down into her lap.

“Is this normal police procedure when performing a traffic stop?” Mr. Green probed.

“No, um, no it isn’t,” he admitted. “I’ve never done anything remotely like that before.”

“And did you, in fact, blow your wad in response to Ms. Fukadonki’s ministrations?” the defendant continued.

“I...I did,” the sheriff confessed.

“And how did you reward Ms. Fukadonki for her generous hummer?”

“I...I let her drive the sheriff’s car back to the station with the lights and siren on,” he admitted.

“And what were you doing while one of your arrestees was driving your vehicle?”

“I had my naked backside out the front passenger window so I could moon everyone we passed,” he muttered, looking down and turning fuchsia.

“And is that normal police procedure?”

“No” Manny said.

“So how do you explain your deviations from normal police procedure, sheriff Spiecker?”

“I, well, I figure you must have some sort of mystical power to make people do things that they wouldn’t ever in a million years do,” the sheriff postulated. “And that a person who was bein’ manipulated like that couldn’t really be held responsible for his actions.”

“Interesting,” said the defendant, stroking his chin. “No more questions for this witness, your honor.”

The sheriff slunk off miserably to the back of the courtroom, his eyes on his shoes.

Lorinda turned back to the blonde prosecutor. She was smiling stupidly, having consulted nearly half of her co-council.

“Jacqui, did you want to call your next witness?” she asked.

Jacqui jumped in her seat, startled, then got up on her kitten heels, raised a finger in the air and announced: “The proshishushion iss now go-ing to fall down!”

Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she slowly tumbled forward, sprawling over her table in a most unlady-like fashion and giving the back of the court room an unimpeded view up her tiny skirt. A string of drool emerged from her slack-jawed mouth and glistened as it stretched to the floor. She began to snore gently.

“Well, I guess that means the prosecution rests,” Lorinda concluded. “Mr. Green, do you have any witnesses in your defense?”

“Why yes, your honor, I do!” the young man nodded enthusiastically. “I would first like to call Ms. YumYum Fukadonki to the stand!”

The Asian woman giggled and strode to the stand. Judge Lorinda saw now that she wasn’t completely naked after all. She had on an adorable pair of strappy red stripper heels. Lorinda made a note to ask her where she bought them once the trial was over.

Once the bimbo was seated and had been sworn in, the defendant began his questioning.

“Will you state your name for the record?”

“Me called YumYum Fukadonki, honorable Mr. Jimmy-san!” the woman announced in what must have been an affected Japanese accent, it was so exaggerated.

“And is that your legal name?’ he asked.

She giggled.

‘No, honorable Mr. Jimmy-san!” she denied. “Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san give YumYum new name after him make YumYum pretty!”

“And before I made you pretty, who were you?’ the defendant asked.

The witness giggled as if it were a hilarious question.

“YumYum was Dr. Yumika Fujimura, Professor of Quantum Physics <giggle> and bitchy-boss-lady to honorable Mr. Jimmy-san! Me was sooo smart and big bitch! <giggle> Now me sooooo horny and big slut! Sucky-sucky fucky-fucky all time!”

“And how old are you?” he asked.

“YumYum turn 68 years old on Friday!” she announced happily. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

She threw her arms up in the air and jiggled her impressive knockers festively. Lorinda’s mouth watered. She wished she could pop one of those firm brown nipples in her mouth right then and there. But it wouldn’t be in keeping with proper judicial conduct. Maybe after the trial, discretely.

She was so fascinated by the witness’ tits that she almost missed her testimony. 68 years old? That could possibly be right, could it? Luckily, the defendant pressed the matter and Lorinda didn’t have to interrupt the testimony.

“You mean to say that you are a 68 year old former physics professor when to all appearances you are a nymphomaniacle bimbo in her early twenties?” Mr. Green asked.

The Asian woman nodded her affirmation.

“You need to state your answer out loud for the court recorder,” Lorinda told her.

YumYum turned to her and stared up at her with big, brown, vacuous eyes.

“Huh?” she asked.

“The court recorder,” Lorinda said gently, indicating the place where Tina sat typing.

Actually, Lorinda hadn’t heard her typing for some while now. She looked towards where she herself was pointing and saw that Tina had her hand in Jeb the bailiff’s pants and was staring up at the big man, oblivious to everything else. Lorinda scowled. Here she was in her own court room, horny as the day is long, with no means of relief and Tina and Jeb were all set to get each other off right in front of her! Looking out at the observers, she saw there were other people stroking themselves or others to the testimony being given. This was intolerable! Lorinda grabbed her long-handled gavel, intent on putting an end to all of their contempt of court.

But then the defendant looked up at her with a grin and winked. Lorinda blushed furiously and looked and the gavel in her hand. It was solid oak with a smooth lacquered finish. Not quite as thick as she might like, but then it seemed to grow in her hand. Yes, that would do. That would do nicely. She discretely slipped the gavel under her robe, and nudged her panties to one side. The handle of the gavel slipped in easily, she was so slick and ready. She took in a sharp breath and let it out slowly.

“Everything all right you’re honor?” the defendant asked.

Lorinda looked up and blushed, but nodded.

“Yeah. Fine...everything is just fine...” she said. “Please continue.”

“Whatever you wish, your honor,” he said.

“I wish this was your hard cock inside me,” she thought, but it would never do to say so, she knew. She couldn’t show any bias. But god he was cute! Suddenly, the gavel in her cunt began to pulse and throb. How was that even possible? She realized that she didn’t really care. She placed a knuckle above her clitoris and pressed firmly down.

“So, you were a dried up old bitch and now you’re a juicy little tart,” the defendant said to his witness. “How is that possible?”

“Because Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san has Super Horny Bimbo Power!” YumYum said throwing her hands up into the air again.

“Well, let’s assume that was true, just for sake of argument,” the defendant said. “That would explain your willingness to fellate me while driving up highway 69, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” the woman nodded enthusiastically. “YumYum sucky-sucky anywhere, anytime!”

“But that still wouldn’t make it safe, now, would it?” he asked.

The woman giggled.

“Nothing can hurt YumYum when she sucky-sucky Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san!” she insisted.

“How so?” he asked. “What if, while driving at high speed while you were sucking my dick, we came across a deer in the road?”

“Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san make car fly!” she claimed. “Or make deer turn to butterfly! Or make time go backward!”

“So I’m really that powerful?” he asked.

“Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san do anything!” she declared. “Do YumYum right now, Honorable Mr. Jimmy-san?”

“I’m afraid not, YumYum,” he said. “You still need to be cross-examined”

The witness pouted. Lorinda moaned. She was so close! The gavel was pounding like a jack hammer inside her.

“Y-your...w-witn-n-ness J-Jacqui...” she said.

Jacqui moaned from where she sprawled on the table. She made no attempt to rise.

“D-damnit J-Jacqui...” said Lorinda.“W-we don’t have all d-day!”

“Allow me, your honor,” volunteered the defendant, and he leapt effortlessly over the prosecutor’s table landing behind the inebriated Jackie. He patted her mini-skirted ass.

“Jus five more minutes, Daddy!” she mumbled.

“Up you go, Jacqui,” he said, grabbing a hold of her blonde hair and lifting her head off the table.

With bleary eyes, she blinked at the defendant. Then she grinned stupidly at him.

“Hi...I’m Jacqui,” she said. “Yer really cute!”

“Hi, Jacqui,” he said. “You’re really drunk!”

“Jusa lil’ bit!” she said, holding thumb and finger slightly apart to illustrate. Then she hiccupped and giggled like a loon.

“It’s time to cross-examine YumYum now, Jacqui,” he said, indicating the waiting witness.

“Oh, right...right,” she said. “Gotta cross a salmon.”

“Here, let me help you,” he said, placing a helpful, steadying hand on her ass and another on her large right tit, he helped her to her feet and then helped her around the table and up to the witness stand, right up into the witness box. That was hardly orthodox, but Lorinda was so close to cuming she didn’t want to ask why the defendant had placed the prosecutor there.

“Gotta cross yer jamins,” she explained to the witness.

Ms. Fukadonki giggled and placed her heels up on the railing of the witness box, her legs spread wide. The drunken prosecutor knelt between then witness’ legs and planted her face right in the witness’ box. She began vigorously cross examining her with tongue and fingers as the witness cried out and confessed to all manner of depravities in alternating English and Japanese. Looking down from her perfect vantage point, Lorinda went over the edge, cuming as she had never cum before.

YumYum concluded her testimony with a stream of what Lorinda could only guess were Japanese profanities and then gave a high-pitched squeal, arching her back and pressing her box into the prosecutor’s face then collapsing into a panting, grinning, glistening heap of flesh.

Jacqui raised her head and smiled up at Lorinda with a pussy-juice smeared face and said “No furver queson, yer honorableness!”

“Yes...yes, well, thank you, Miss...YumYum,” Lorinda said, meaning it. “You may step down.”

The prosecutor and witness helped each other to their feet and staggered back to the prosecution table with their arms around each other’s waists, both with wobbly knees.

“Do you...do you have anymore?” she asked the defendant.

She hoped he didn’t. Her orgasm hadn’t satisfied her. It had left her wanting more. She just wanted to finish this case and sentence the gorgeous defendant to several hours of hard labor in her bedroom. But she had to maintain her composure and a sense of decorum. She was a judge after all.

“One final witness, your honor,” said the defendant apologetically, as if he knew what she was thinking. “I’d like to call Mrs. Temperance ‘Cookie’ Spiecker to the stand.”

Lorinda cocked an eyebrow, intrigued. What could Manny’s wife possibly know about this case? Beyond what she knew about every scandalous thing that happened in the community, of course, which Lorinda would be required to strike down as hear-say. And she couldn’t imagine Temperance letting anyone call her ‘Cookie’. The eldest daughter of the local Baptist preacher, Temperance made her husband seem hedonistic by comparison, a fact that she pointed out to him more than was probably healthy. Really, her constant henpecking explained a lot about Manny’s personality.

Lorinda looked out and found the sheriff. She hadn’t noticed his wife in the audience earlier, and she wasn’t the sort to hide in the back row. Manny was no help, though, as he was holding his head in his hands and shuddering.

And then the doors opened and into the courtroom strode a red-headed goddess. A pinnacle of pulchritude spilling out of a form-fitting purple dress with a wide-brimmed white sun hat above, high-heeled white sandals below and liquid sex everywhere between.

The courtroom collectively inhaled. The redhead gave a demure giggle. She strode confidently up toward the witness stand and crossed her long legs, the short skirt of her dress riding up dangerously.

Lorinda gawked openly. No way in hell was this wet dream of a woman Temperance Spiecker! Temperance Spiecker had fewer curves than a yardstick. She would sooner handle poisonous snakes than show her thighs. She hardly ever smiled and never in the face of anything that even remotely resembled indecency.

And yet here was this woman sitting in her witness box was smiling at her radiantly, mischievously, as if the two of them shared some intimate bond, some sororal secret. And despite the incongruous expression and rosy complexion, there was, in fact, something disturbingly reminiscent of Temperance Spiecker about her face.

But that was simply impossible.

“This woman is not Temperance Spiecker!” Lorinda declared. “Temperance Spiecker looks nothing like this.”

She looked to Manny for affirmation, but the sheriff just continued to hold his head and stare at his shoes.

“Now you’re hardly one to talk, Lorinda,” the woman beside her said in a voice like molten sugar. “Not looking as scrumptious as you do at your age!”

Lorinda quivered at the gorgeous woman calling her scrumptious. But what did she mean, at her age? She was 25! And of course this wasn’t Temperance! Why, she had known Temperance for over thirty years! Seen her grow up from a small, sickly girl, to a vicious, bitter woman.

Wait a minute. There was something wrong with that. How could she have known Temperance for over thirty years? She looked down at her voluptuous body, stroked her long chestnut hair. She was a 25 year old hottie. A bisexual nymphomaniac who had to keep her inclinations hidden to keep her position as judge. She knew that to be true. Had she always been this way? Well, of course, she couldn’t have always been this way. She hadn’t really blossomed into full womanhood until after she graduated from high school.

Back in 1962.

Now that couldn’t be right, could it? Lorinda’s head was spinning. How could a simple traffic case become so confusing?

“Your honor,” said the defendant gently. “I really do need this witness to make my case. Would it be all right if we just let her give her testimony and then you can use your judicial wisdom to make a credibility ruling on whether or not to take it into account while making your decision on the case?”

“What?” she asked him, wild eyed and lost. “Oh...oh...yes, well, yes you are, um, of course with in your rights to call any witness that can support your case. I....excuse me. Carry on. Jeb, please swear in the witness.”

The bailiff managed to extricate himself from the court recorder’s clutches and presented the redhead with a bible.

“May I use my own?” she asked, holding up another book that had a smiling picture of the defendant on it. Lorinda just waved a consenting hand, unable to even think about the implications. She was so very confused. How had she lost control?

“Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” Jeb asked.

“So help me Jim!” the woman affirmed.

“State your name for the court,” Jeb instructed.

“I am Temperance Schlott Spiecker by law, and Cookie by the grace of Jim!” she declared.

Jeb looked at Lorinda and she just stared blankly back at him. Nothing made any sense anymore. Jeb looked over to where Tina sat rubbing herself and staring longingly at him. He looked apologetically back at Lorinda, then scampered back to the randy court recorder like an eager puppy.

“Very well then, Cookie!” said the defendant. “How long have you lived here in Staton, Virginia?”

“All my life, Lord!” she said. “Thirty two years next November.”

Lorinda remembered the birth announcement. It came out six years before she was born. Her head swam.

“Now, in your opinion as a long standing member of this community, should I be subject to its laws?” he asked.

The woman who called herself Cookie giggled as if it was a ridiculous question.

“Of course not!” she declared.

“And why not?” he asked.

“Because you’re God!” she said as if it should be obvious to everyone.

“I’m God?” he repeated. “The Almighty Himself?”

“Yes, Lord Jim!” the witness testified. “You are the Alpha and the Omega!”

“But we just heard testimony from Ms. Fukadonki that I was a graduate student in her quantum physics lab,” the defendant said. “How do you explain that?”

The witness giggled musically.

“It’s quite simple, really!” she exclaimed. “It’s all here in The Book of Jim! First chapter of the Book of Origins. May I?”

She held up the book with the defendant’s picture on the cover.

“Please,” he indulged.

She opened the book, delicately cleared her throat, and read:

“In the Beginning was The Apparatus and the Motherfucking Thesis Project. And behold, Jim was not yet God, but was a slave to The Bitch on Wheels.”

(“Temperance would never use such language,” thought Lorinda. “Even reading it. It couldn’t be her!")

“And The Bitch on Wheels did say unto Jim: ‘You better have that data on my desk by morning!’ And thus did Jim work on the Apparatus deep into the night, yea, and he did increase the amperage well beyond proscribed safety parameters. And behold, the Apparatus did explode and pass through Jim and thus was our Universe created, yea, even a Pocket Universe, a reflection of the world of Jim’s birth.”

“And when Jim did awake in the new world which He had created, behold, He had Power! Yea, even the Power of Jim! And all things were possible to Him for by Him are all things possible! And when the reflection of The Bitch on Wheels did see Jim and the destruction of The Apparatus, she was sorely angry with Jim! And she did berate Him. And behold, Jim did say ‘Shut up you stupid fucking whore!’ And verily was The Bitch on Wheels transformed, yea, she was given the garb and manner of an whore, yea, and she became stupid, yea, and greatest of miracles, she did shut up.”

“And when Jim did realize His power and the miracles He could work, behold, He did spend many days tormenting The Bitch on Wheels and did transform her into many and sundry things. But at last did He take pity on her and did make her beautiful and did allow her to suckle at His Divine Pecker and He did make her His priestess and did proclaim ‘Road Trip’.”

The redheaded woman closed the book reverently and smiled adoringly at the defendant. Lorinda just looked back and forth between them, dumbfounded. It was crazy. Just crazy. Almost as crazy as a 25 year old woman remembering the Eisenhower administration.

“So, if I may sum up,” said the defendant. “You believe that this universe is only a few months old and that, in it, I am God, with all the omnipotence that comes with that job title?”

“It’s true! It’s true! Praise Jim, it’s true!” she declared, a testifying hand raised in the air.

“And have you always been a believer, Cookie?” he asked.

Her bright smile faded and she became deadly serious.

“Oh no, Lord,” she confessed. “Once I walked in the Valley of Bitchiness. I did not know my Lord or the Joy of having Him inside of me! I was a retched woman without hope of fucking! But then I was saved!”

Her smile would have melted a glacier and she grasped her left tit.

“I have touched Thy Holy Member!” she declared, ecstatic. “I have been filled by Thee! Yea, in every orifice hast Thou filled me! Thou hast spattered Thy Blessed Spunk across my soul and made me holy!”

“And could you tell us about your conversion?” he asked.

“Oh yes, Lord Jim!” she said. “I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“And when was it, Cookie?” he asked.

She frowned daintily and tapped her chin with a well-manicured finger, then brightened and giggled.

“It was yesterday!” she exclaimed.

“So what happened yesterday evening that caused you to make such a radical shift in your theology?” he asked.

“Well, I was at home writing a letter to the FCC because I had gotten myself in such a tizzy over some girl showing her titties on the television, though I can’t for the life of me imagine why! Like I said, I was a hateful ‘lil bitch before I had been filled with the Cum of Jim. So, I was writing that hateful, bitchy letter when my husband Manny came home. I was blind to the Glory of Jim and when Manny told me he had brought home two prisoners, I acted like such a bitch! A male guest in my home and I didn’t even offer to suck His Dick! It’s all spelled out in the Book of Fellatio, Chapter 2 verse 7: ‘When a stranger walks among you, kneel before him and suck his dick. For she who sucks dick shall find joy and shall give joy to others. And in sucking the dick of any man, it shall be as the Dick of Jim!’ It’s true in every case, of course, but in this case it was literally true!”

“But I didn’t know that then, being an unbeliever who didn’t know the Word of Jim. But Jim did smile upon me and did ask my name. And I did tell Him, but He gave me a new name, and called me Cookie. But my heart was hard and I did not accept my true name. Then Lord Jim asked me about the letter I was writing, and I told Him, though I did not wish to. He then told me that there was much worse on the television. And it was then that He worked a miracle! The TV turned on all by itself and behold, there were images of pornography, yea, even on basic cable! The weather girl on channel 6 was getting sodomized by the sports reporter. I screamed and tried to turn it off, but it wouldn’t turn off, because the Power of Jim was upon it. So I changed the channel and there was Vanna all naked spread out on the Wheel pleasuring herself while she spun around and around. I changed the channel again to a Christian station, but instead of preaching, Reverend Jack was there was pounding his wife Rexella from behind while she deep throated their announcer Chuck. I changed to CMT, and Faith was giving LeAnn a rim job while Tim shot his wad all over the both of them. And as I kept changing channels, going from one scene of delicious fucking to the next, the TV started growing until it filled up the entire wall and Mr. Olbermann’s balls were as big as my head while Nancy was sucking him off.”

“After that, the TV started changing channels by itself and things just got raunchier and raunchier. But the real miracle was what was happening to me! I couldn’t take my eyes off the set! And Jim poured Holy Lust into me, filling me with Desire. The sea of porno washed away my foolish and prudish ways. In the Book of Cookie, it’s called The Miracle of the Money Shots. I shuddered and cried, so confused, so tormented. And then the TV suddenly went dead. And I turned and my eyes were opened. I saw My Precious Jim for what he was! And I went down on my knees before Him and begged Him to make me His slut!”

“And then, He performed another miracle! A cake grew up around me. And within the cake, I was transformed! Lord Jim gave me a body made to serve Him, to give carnal pleasure to any that would receive it! And when I popped out of the top of that cake, I was beautiful and sexy and just the horniest little skank you ever did see!”

“But then came the greatest miracle of all!” the witness proclaimed. “I knelt before Him and took His Divine Pecker into my mouth. I sucked and sucked until He filled me. Then he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He fucked my brains out! Every hole, over and over, all night. And next morning, I wasn’t the least bit sore! Will Wonders never cease? Praise Jim! He is The Light and The Truth and The Way unto everlasting Orgasm!”

And then everyone in the courtroom started cuming. Everyone but Lorinda and the defendant, that was. He just smirked. She just stared, dumbfounded, from face to ecstatic face.

And then Lorinda got angry. She went to pound her gavel and couldn’t find it. Remembering where she had left it, she hiked up her robe, pulled the thick handle out of her pussy and pounded emphatically.

“Order in the court! Order in the court!” she exclaimed.

Suddenly, a dozen topless cocktail waitresses in fishnet stockings appeared and took everyone’s drink order. Lorinda shuddered in confusion and ordered a bloody mary. Once the waitress had returned, she downed her drink in one go, sat back and sighed. How had she lost control of her courtroom? How could she ever make a ruling on this case? Why couldn’t she cum like everyone else?

“You!” she said, pointing accusingly at the defendant. “I need to see you in my chambers.”

“Of course your honor,” said the defendant.

“Objeshun yer honorableness!” said Jacqui Maser. “You canna have private counshil wif the defenan wifout a repazenazive of the proshicusion! Issh againsalaw!”

The blonde prosecutor made to approach the bench, but then tripped on her heels and sprawled on the floor. She lay motionless for a few seconds, then started snoring.

“Perhaps Mr. Daniels could represent the prosecution?” the defendant suggested.

“Fine!” Lorinda exclaimed. “Get him and get to my chambers now!”

“Yes your honor,” he said respectfully.

Lorinda lead the young man with the almost empty whisky bottle to her small but comfortable deliberation chambers, leaving the madhouse that her courtroom had become behind. She knew what she had to do. It was unorthodox, but so was everything about this case.

“Close the door,” she instructed. “Put the bottle on the desk.”

He did as he was told. Lorinda crossed her arms under her mindblowing rack. The rack she was so terribly proud of and which she was pretty certain she hadn’t back in college when she lost her virginity in 1963. She couldn’t remember where her tits were when JFK was shot. That wasn’t right.

“Things are not right here,” she said to the defendant. “Nothing is as it should be. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been about a case. About anything, really. But I think I know what the problem is.”

“And what is that, your honor?” the defendant asked.

“Your cock,” she said emphatically.

“My cock?” he asked.

“Yes. More specifically, the sucking of it,” Lorinda said.

She began pacing nervously. She had the answer here. She just knew it.

“This case just keeps coming back to one thing, you getting your cock sucked!” she declared. “It was happening when you were pulled over. All three witnesses’ testimonies had something to do with someone sucking your dick. It’s the key to understanding this case, and I...”

“Yes,” the defendant prompted.

Shame welled up in Lorinda as she confessed.

“I’ve never sucked dick! At all! I don’t know anything about sucking cock! So I have no choice but to recuse myself and declare a hung trial. Unless...”

“Unless?” he asked.

“Unless,” Lorinda said, kneeling before him. “I could declare a hung defendant instead. The only way I can provide you with a fair trial is if I suck you off right here and now. It’s my duty, as an officer of the court.”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to keep you from your duty, your honor,” he said, unzipping his pants.

“Oh thank god!” she exclaimed.

She’d never wanted anything so much in her whole life. She took his hard, firm member in trembling hands. It was alive and warm and wonderful. Her mouth watered. Her lips parted. She gave a groan of gratitude and took the cock into her mouth. Swathing the precious pecker with her tongue, Lorinda’s eyes rolled back in her head. It was pure bliss. Her head began slowly bobbing along the shaft, dancing to the rhythm of the music of the spheres. The cock filled her throat, but she didn’t gag. She didn’t need to breath. His cock was everything. Air was superfluous.

He laid his hands upon her head, praising her, blessing her, fulfilling her. 25 or 63, it didn’t matter. She was in the now. The past was nothing. She didn’t ever have to think about it again. All she had to do was take the magical man meat deeper inside of her. It didn’t matter what the community thought. She could be herself. Her crazy, horny, nymphomaniacal self. They wouldn’t reject her now. Jim would take care of it for her. Everyone would love her, respect her, fuck her. They would come to her for judgment and receive mercy and affection and intercourse.

And then he was cuming, pulsing within her, filling her with joy. And Lorinda was cuming, a tsunami of pleasure and fulfillment rushing though her body, pounding the surf of her mind. After an eternity, the Cock slipped out of her and yet she knew that, in a way, it would always be inside of her, forever and ever, amen.

“Oh Jim!” she exclaimed, looking up at him through tears of joy. “Sweet, Precious Jim!”

“Arise, Lorinda,” he said, holding down a hand. “I am well pleased with you.”

Lorinda giggled, not caring one whit if it was judicial or not. She took His hand and stood. He took hold of her robe and it transformed so that it buttoned beneath her melons, leaving them bare and jutting. The bustier had disappeared, but her tits stood just fine on their own, glory be to Jim. The robe opened beneath the button, showing her navel, her damp panties, her luscious legs. She absolutely loved it and decided she would wear it even when not on the bench.

“Let’s go back to your courtroom, Lorinda,” Jim said. “You need to make your ruling.”

“Of course, My Lord,” she said. “Thank you! Oh thank you so much!”

She followed Jim obediently, reverently, adoringly back to the courtroom. Inside, a band was playing, some people were dancing, others were fucking. YumYum and Cookie were sucking off Manny together as he sang ‘I enjoy being a girl’ at the top of his lungs. But everything stopped as Jim stepped into the courtroom. He cleared his throat and proclaimed:

“If your lawyer’s sleepin’ better give him a nudge, order in the courtroom, here comes the judge!”

Then everyone in the courtroom started chanting the refrain:

“Here comes the judge! Here comes the judge! Order in the courtroom, here comes the judge! Here comes the judge! Here comes the judge! Order in the courtroom, here comes the judge!”

Jim smiled at her and she grinned back, beaming with pride. She entered the courtroom dancing to their chant, swinging her tits cockily with every stride. Wiggling her ass and swishing her robes, she made her way up to her bench on her soaring heels, then cut the crowd off like a conductor. They were silenced, looking up at her with respect, adoration and lust. She was back in control of her courtroom, by the grace of Jim, and it felt great.

“Defendant James Green, I have weighed the evidence and sucked The Cock, and by my authority as justice of the peace of the township of Staton I find you to be not guilty by reason of omnipotence. You are free to go, though I hope that you’ll linger for a little while at least. We’d like to show you that Staton knows how to party!”

The omnipotent defendant looked at his watch and his traveling companion.

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” he said. “Let’s get it on!”

Lorinda squealed in delight and banged her gavel.

“Court dismissed!” she said, then hopped up on top of her bench. “Let’s party!”

The band started up again. A brass pole descended from the ceiling to Lorinda’s bench as it raised up hire to form a platform. The room grew, the lights dimmed, a disco ball appeared. The topless waitresses returned and brought friends. Lorinda started dancing around the pole, in love with her body, in love with life and most of all in love with Jim. She was very blessed.

The end