Retailing
The clerk looked up as the bell jangled above the door. He’d seen their type before and he couldn’t help but wonder if they were here to buy or if they were just looking.
Just as quickly though, the clerk put a smile on his face even as he came around the counter. “Can I help you,” the man asked.
The man stood nearly six and a half feet tall and he seemed to almost tower over his ... what was she, the clerk wondered, wife, girl friend, fuck bunny, it would be good to know ... whatever she was, the man towered over her. He looked the clerk over. “We’d like to see some of what you got here,” the man said.
“Certainly, sir,” the clerk said. “Did you have anything in particular in mind?”
The man scratched his head. “I dunno. We just want to upgrade to something better, but I gotta see what you got first.”
The clerk turned to the woman. “How about you,” the man asked. “Did you have anything in particular in mind?”
The woman glanced almost nervously at her husband, boyfriend, whatever he was, and she shook her head. “I just want what he wants, I guess.”
The clerk nodded. He’d seen this before. Just great. Looky-loos. Just another waste of his time. The man shook his head. “For a purchase like this, you don’t have to know what you want, but you do have to know you want it.”
“Come on, Noreen. We discussed it,” the man said.
“But Rodney. It’s so much money.”
The clerk smiled. This, at least, was something he’d heard before. “It may seem like a lot of money now,” the man told the wife, girlfriend, whatever, “but you really have to look at this as an investment.”
“An investment,” the woman said uncertainly.
The clerk smiled encouragingly. “Why, of course,” he told the woman. “A purchase like this isn’t something you do every day. I mean sure, maybe some day, you might want to upgrade to a new model, but until that time, you have to be happy with what you have.”
The woman nodded. “I guess I can see that.”
“So the question really is are you ready to upgrade to something better or are you satisfied with what you got right now.”
“I always thought what I had was pretty good.”
“Noreen, we talked about this.”
“I know, Rodney, but it just seems like such a big step.”
The clerk smiled again. “I’ll tell you what. How about I show you folks around our showroom, and you can tell me if you see anything you like.”
“That sounds reasonable,” the man said.
“I guess,” the woman said with decidedly less enthusiasm.
“Now, I know this might be a bit sensitive,” the salesman said, “but I was wondering if I could take a look at what you already have to, you know, to see what we’re starting with.”
“That sounds reasonable to me,” the man said. “Go on, Noreen. Why don’t you show the man your butt.”
The woman looked from the Rodney to the clerk and then back to Rodney again before she finally shrugged and she turned herself around. She pulled up her skirt and she pushed down her panties.
The clerk looked at her butt. Not bad, the man thought. Not bad, at all. In fact if anyone had bothered to ask him, he would have been hard pressed to find a reason why her butt needed to be replaced.
“You see what I’m talking about,” the man said.
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re looking for.”
“I ... I mean we ... we want something with a little more definition, a little rounder, you know, a little fuller.”
“Something you can get your hands on, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, that gives me a little something to work with. Why don’t we start over here in the Jennifer Lopez section.”
“Oh, honey,” the woman mewed plaintively.
“I don’t think we want anything that big,” the man said.
“Of course not,” the clerk said easily, “but it’s a good starting place. Take my word for it. I’ve done this before.”
“All right,” the man said.
The clerk led the man into a room where various butts were mounted on the wall. “Now, as I said, this is our Jennifer Lopez section. As we already know, this is something of an acquired taste but some people really like it. You got a nice full butt with some junk in the trunk and people are going to notice you or at least they’re going to notice your butt especially when you’re showing it off.”
“I don’t like it here,” the girl said.
“Another advantage of the well endowed butt is that it gives you something to hang onto. You ever grabbed a big butt.”
Rodney shook his head.
“Go ahead if you want. Give it a try.”
Rodney looked at the clerk. “Are you sure?”
The clerk nodded. “That’s what we’re here for. You got to try these out to see if you like them. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to tell.”
Rodney nodded as he went up to one of the butts and gave it a grab.
“How’s that feel,” the clerk asked.
“It feels good.”
The clerk nodded. “That’s what happens when you got something to hang onto. You want to give that one a try?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. You want to fuck that butt?”
“You mean I can?”
“This is a full service showroom,” the clerk said. “Of course, you can.”
The man looked at the woman and then he started to unbuckle his belt.
“You’re not actually going to do it,” the woman cried out.
“But Noreen.”
“But you said we weren’t going to get one like this.”
“I’m just trying it out.”
“Geez, Rodney.”
But the man already had his pants down and then his underwear was down around his knees and his hands gripped the hips of one of the wall-mounted butts.
“That’s it,” the clerk said encouragingly. “Now slide your cock between her cheeks and pick yourself out a hole and—
“I know how to fuck a woman,” the man said.
The clerk smiled. “I’m sure you do,” he said. “No offense really.”
“Yeah, sure,” the man said.
“How’s that feel?”
“Feels good.”
“Then you’re really going to like this,” the salesman said even as he touched a speaker on the wall.
A woman’s moan could be heard even as Rodney continued to fuck that butt. “What the fuck,” the man spluttered.
“What is it,” Noreen asked.
“The butt,” the man said. “It like, it came to life.”
“Of course, it did,” the salesman said. “We believe in providing our customers the most lifelike experience and we can do this, too.”
The sound of the woman’s moan was cut off in mid-moan to be replaced by something new. “Oh,” the woman’s voice groaned. “Oh ... fuck.”
“She sounds just like you, Noreen.”
“Rodney!”
“Well, she does.”
“Or we can even do something like this,” the salesman said.
The woman’s voice was still moaning. “Oh fuck,” she moaned. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“Or even something like this.”
The woman’s voice changed yet again. “Oh God,” the voice groaned. “Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me.”
The man shook his head. “Noreen wouldn’t do it like that.”
“Thank you,” the girl said in a tight voice.
The salesman smiled. “How about we step it back to here then,” and once again, the unseen woman’s voice could be heard to moan again. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“Yeah,” the man groaned. “Yeah, that’s it.”
The woman saw it first. “Oh my God, Rodney. You’re not going to cum, are you?”
The man just groaned but there was no doubt what he was doing.
“Oh my God,” the girl cried out. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re doing that. That is so disgusting.”
“Don’t worry about it. Our butts are self-cleaning.”
“What?”
The salesman nodded. “As soon as he pulls out, our butts start to clean themselves. We use Taylor-Price. They’re state of the art in butt cleaning. Other stores out there don’t have the cleaning system we have. In fact, some of them have no system at all.”
“Ew. That’s gross.”
“I agree. You got to have a butt cleaning system. A clean butt is a happy butt. It just wouldn’t be sanitary any other way.”
Rodney finally pulled out. He wiped his brow. “You know, if you’d asked me before if I liked girls with big butts, I would have told you no, but I have to admit, that was fun.”
The clerk grinned. “It’s just part of our service,” he said, “but come on. I’ve got some other butts I think you’d like to see.”
“I gotta tell you,” the man said. “I’m pretty worn out after a work-out like that.”
The clerk smiled again. “Not to worry, sir. We anticipate things like that so we’re ready for them.”
“What do you mean?”
The clerk just smiled. “Why don’t we cross that bridge when we come to it, but what should we look at next. “How about we look at some tiny butts.”
“I don’t know,” the man said. “I mean, just look at Noreen’s butt. That’s kind of what we’re trying to get away from.”
“I understand, sir, but we’ve got some really nice, tight, little asses and you never know, you might see something you like.”
“I don’t know. What do you think, honey?”
Noreen shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we could take a look at them.”
“That’s the spirit,” the salesman said even as he led the couple across the showroom floor. “Now this,” he said, “is our Tiny Tushie collection.”
“I don’t know,” the man said.
“Why don’t you give one of them a try,” the salesman said.
“I don’t know. I’m pretty worn out, you know.”
“I told you I could take care of that.”
“Well I guess we could give it a try then.”
“That’s the spirit,” the salesman said. “Now, I’ve only got one question for you. Blond or brunette?”
“What’s that?”
“You heard me. Blond or brunette?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“What’s to understand? Blond or brunette?”
“Blond, I guess.”
The salesman pulled a device off of his belt. “Ilsa,” he said, “could you come out here and join us?”
“Right away, sir,” was the response from the device.
Moments later, a statuesque blond woman walked out onto the showroom floor. Without batting an eye, she walked up to the group and then she knelt in front of the man, and she started sucking on his cock.
“What the hell?”
“We believe in giving our customers good customer service,” the salesman said.
“Yeah, but—”
“How’s that cock doing? You getting hard again?”
It was Ilsa, not Rodney who answered. She pulled her mouth off of the man’s cock just long enough to look up at the salesman. “He’s getting hard,” she assured him. “He’s getting so hard.”
“Thank you, Ilsa.”
The blond stood up. “Will that be all,” she asked.
“I’d like you to stick around,” the salesman said.
“Of course, Mr. Landy.”
“Now,” the salesman continued, “as I was saying, this is our Tiny Tushie collection. Ilsa here happens to have one of our Tiny Tushie’s. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make the payments so we had to take it out in trade.”
“In trade?”
“Ilsa’s loaned us out her mind so she helps us out on the showroom and in return, she helps pay off her ass. Isn’t that right, Ilsa?”
“That’s right, Mr. Landy.”
“Ilsa, would you mind showing the man your butt?”
“Not at all, Mr. Landy. I’d be happy to show him my butt,” and with that, the blond turned around and she pulled up her dress so that Rodney could see her ass.
The salesman ran a hand over Ilsa’s ass. “As you can see, Ilsa’s got a tiny, little ass, but here’s what I want to show you.” He pulled Ilsa’s thong to one side and he pushed a finger between her cheeks. Almost immediately, the blond started to moan.
“As you can see,” the salesman said, “Ilsa’s got such a tight, little ass that she pretty much starts moaning as soon as you slide anything between her cheeks. How’s that feel, Ilsa?”
“It feels great, Mr. Landy,” the blond moaned.
“And now look what happens when I start to finger her ass hole.”
The blond started moaning even louder and deeper.
“Impressive,” the man said.
“Yep,” said the salesman even as he pushed a finger inside Ilsa’s butt. “That’s what I call a quality ass.”
Rodney was watching as that finger continued to do its work. “That’s good, but it’s not really what we’re looking for, is it honey?”
Noreen nodded. “It’s ... it’s, um ... it’s nice, but yeah, I don’t think it’s what we’re looking for.”
The blond’s moans were getting more and more frantic as the salesman continued to fuck her ass. “Fair enough,” the man said. “I don’t want to sell you something that you wouldn’t be satisfied with but I bet I know what you folks want to see.”
“What’s that,” Rodney asked somewhat distractedly. He was having trouble taking his eyes off of what that finger was still doing to an obviously excited Ilsa and to her butt.
“I’ll bet what you folks want to see are the Bubble Butts.”
Rodney was still staring at what that finger was doing to the blond. He couldn’t take his eyes off of it and from the way the blond was moaning, there was no doubt just how much the blond was getting off on having that finger between her cheeks.
“What’s that,” he asked rather distractedly. “Yeah right ... the Bubble Butts collection ... that’s what we want to see.”
The salesman smiled even as he pulled his finger from between an obviously well-satisfied Ilsa’s tight, little cheeks. “If you’ll follow me,” he told the man and the woman.
Rodney and Noreen followed the man into another part of the showroom floor. “This is our Bubble Butts collection,” the salesman began. “We brought the line out a couple of years ago and already, it’s one of our top sellers. It’s pretty much an all-purpose butt. Looks good in shorts and jeans and it can’t help but draw attention to itself.”
“What do you think, Noreen?”
“I like it. It looks good.”
“I do have to give you a few precautionary notes,” the salesman said. “First of all, this is a high definition product. Some of our other butts look just fine if they get a little flabby but this one doesn’t so you have to take care of it.”
“Like how,” Noreen asked.
“It doesn’t take much,” the salesman said. “A little exercise is probably all you need but if you’re going to do that, I’d recommend wearing something tight. I know it sounds weird, but a butt like this just seems to want to be noticed.”
“I can do that,” Noreen said. “What else?”
“Well, bear in mind the bubble butt is an attention getter which means it’s going to take attention from other places, so if you got somewhere else you want guys to look, you ought to think twice about getting this. I had a woman come in here a while back, and this woman was stacked. She wanted to know if we could tone it down because she had to keep telling guys to stop looking at her butt and start looking at her breasts.”
Noreen laughed. “No worries there. I want guys to look at my new ass. What else?”
“This last one should be the most obvious one of all but you’d be surprised how many people overlook it. If you don’t like spending time on your hands and knees, don’t get this product.”
“I should think that would be obvious,” Noreen said.
“Like I said,” the salesman replied, “you’d be surprised.”
“Anything else?”
“That’s about it,” the salesman said. “If you’re okay with that, and of course, if you like the way this looks, I’d go with it.”
“I like it,” Noreen said. “Can we get it?”
“I think I’d like to try it out first,” Rodney said.
“You can’t fool me,” Noreen pouted. “Your dick is still hard and you just want to get yourself off.”
“Well, can you blame me?”
“I can’t,” said the salesman.
“Can I,” Rodney asked.
The salesman grinned. “Go ahead and knock yourself out.”
The man stepped up to the wall-mounted butt and his hands grabbed hold of the butt’s cheeks. “Oh wow,” he said. “You should feel this.”
“Yeah right,” Noreen pouted.
Rodney wasn’t listening. He pushed his cock up between the butt and then he was sliding his cock into the pussy there.
“Oh God,” he moaned. “So tight. So fucking tight.”
The salesman just smiled. “And that’s just the pussy. Just wait until we get you inside that ass.”
The man groaned at the thought of that.
He never made it into the butt because he came before he could even get his cock out of the pussy. “Fuck,” he groaned when it was all over. “Fuck.”
“I take it you liked it then.”
“Liked it? I loved it.”
“Can we get it,” Noreen pleaded. “Can we get it. I really want it.”
“Yeah sure,” an exhausted Rodney agreed. “Yeah, we can get it.”
“Goody.”
The salesman looked at his customers. “Excellent,” he told them. “Now, if you’d follow me over here, there’s a few things I’d like to offer you before we write the deal up.”
“Like what,” Rodney asked.
“We offer an extended warranty on all the butts we sell. Just bring her in every six months and we’ll check her out from head to toe, fix anything that seems out of place, and at the same time, we’ll keep her butt nice and tight.”
“How much is that?”
“Four ninety-nine, sir, and if you ask me, it’s definitely worth the money.”
“All right, we’ll take it.”
“Rodney!”
“We don’t want your new butt getting all loose, do we? I mean hey, after spending all this money, we don’t want to be here in less than a year having to buy another one because your ass is all worn out.”
“Yeah, well who says you’re going to be wearing out my ass.”
The salesman smiled. “That leads us to the other service we offer.”
“What’s that?”
“Actually, it’s more for the ladies.”
“For me,” squawked Noreen. “What do you have for me?”
“Well, you know how guys are. Once you got a new butt like that, you know a guy’s going to want to try it out.”
“Yeah, well that’s not going to happen.”
The clerk just smiled. “Are you sure about that?”
The girl looked like she wanted to say something but whatever it was remained unsaid.
“You know what I’m talking about,” the salesman said.
The girl nodded slowly.
“So what we offer is a treatment. It’s bio-feedback, really. But we treat your new butt and when you get fucked back there, your butt just unloads a shitload of endorphins on your brain. Brain likes it. It wants to get fucked again. Same thing happens. Pretty soon, it becomes self-perpetuating. The butt literally reprograms the brain to want to get butt-fucked.”
“You’re kidding.”
The clerk shook his head. “I don’t recommend it for everyone. I mean, if you already like getting your butt fucked ...”
“No.”
“Well, if you liked getting your butt fucked, then I’d say why do it but if you don’t like getting your butt fucked, I’d say go for it. From what I hear from our customers, they really like it.”
“I don’t know.”
“Tell you what,” the salesman said. “I’ll throw it in for half price.”
“You want to do it,” Rodney asked.
“I don’t know,” the girl said again.
“Come on. You saw what he did to some of those butts out there on the showroom floor. You know he’s going to want to fuck you in the butt, and wouldn’t it be better if you got something out of it, too?”
“I guess. Can I still get fucked in my pussy?
“Of course. This doesn’t affect anything else.”
“I’d take it, honey,” Rodney said, “because I guarantee you, if you got a butt like that, sooner or later, I’m going to want to stick my cock in your ass.”
“Okay,” Noreen agreed. “We’ll take it.”
“Excellent. Now, how will you be paying for this?”
“Credit card.”
“Excellent. Now, if I could get your card, I can get you rung up, and the sooner that happens, the sooner we can get Noreen up on the rack and the sooner we can get her new rear end installed.”
The transaction was placed and the salesman waved good-bye to yet another satisfied couple. That was what he liked about working at the Ass Store. Their slogan just about said it all. “No ifs or ands. Just butts.” Yeah, just butts and lots of happy customers.