The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

June 8, 2008

As the semi bustled through into New York, constantly blocking two lanes of traffic and ramming into any frustrated motorist attempting to pass, they were awarded with the sight of a mad scientist gone awry. When they passed the post office, they noticed a couple of cheap rip-offs of Transformers attempting to have sexual congress with a mailbox and a newspaper dispenser.

A block further, tentacles were shooting out of every manhole in sight and raping every female hole it could get its slimy appendages on. There were several cartoon women in its clutches who were obviously enjoying the treatment, but the majority of its victims were startled real woman who had no idea what the fuck was happening to them. The Doctor wondered if they could see the tentacle monster for what it was or if their brains came up with some other explanation.

They were momentarily delayed when the road ahead was blocked by a group of superheroes having an epic battle with a group of super villains. They had to stop the truck long enough to allow Psycho Bill out of the cargo hold. Five minutes later, after wrestling the insane man back into the cargo hold, they were able to proceed. The wheels of the semi only briefly slipping in the vast pools of blood and organs their comrade left behind in his enjoyment.

They passed a school where all the children had been transformed into Precious Moments characters who were all singing hymns. They passed Dog, Cat, and Mouse trios chasing each other with nets, baseball bats, and TNT. They passed a poorly drawn dinosaur attempting to teach passersby the ABCs. Every now and then a cartoon car would levitate over the semi coming from the other direction. There were several buildings that had been changed and were leaning lazily on other buildings and snoring.

“Somehow, I don’t think this mother fucker has much of a plan anymore. This is the most random shit we’ve yet seen.” Psycho James scowled, not even bothering to hit the brakes as a triple Z breasted anime whore jumped in front of their path to offer to wash their windows. The truck plowed into her, but the cushion of her extra, extra, impossibly extra large breasts softened the impact and sent her bouncing down the road like a superball.

“I think that used to be a homeless woman.” Deborah paled.

“How the hell did that bitch have such perky gravity defying boobs when each tit was a few feet bigger than the rest of her body?”

“I don’t know, but look at her.”

Psycho James saw another homeless woman with even bigger breasts. She was lying across them and taking a nap. Meanwhile, a series of little planets and moons swirled around her.

“Holy shit, those have their own fucking orbit.” Psycho James laughed.

“That’s so sad.”

“I’ll say, the guys in the cargo are going to be so pissed that they’re missing out on this shit. Whoops, five bucks says I can smear that toad in the top hat across the road.”

“You don’t have to...”

“Too late, whoo...hee!” Psycho James slammed on the gas.

“You’re having too much fun.”

Private Perkie Apples was in one of the helicopters making its way quickly toward New York. The co-pilot, not having anything to do at the minute was trying to strike a conversation with her whose obvious intention was to get into her pants. She patiently explained that she would love to have a dick in her, but it had to be the pilot’s. The pilot hearing this tried to get the co-pilot to take over the controls while he went in the back for some R&R, but Perkie wouldn’t hear anything of it. They had to do the nasty while he was driving or not at all. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the balls.

She was tempted to give in to their lecherous suggestions though. She was so excited by the prospect that she was finally going to meet a Conceptian that she would have soaked her underwear had she been wearing any. As it was, the scent of pussy in heat must have been driving the helicopter pilots mad, not to mention the troops cramped in the back.

Let them go mad was her opinion. She considered lifting up her uniform skirt and frigging herself to orgasm just to give them a show. Maybe a couple of the troops would try and rape her, that would be exciting, especially if they were talented enough to succeed. She pulled out a coin. Head’s she would keep her head, tails she would show off her tail.

Flip.

“Oh goody.”

Zap!

“Quick, pick a category Kitty!”

“Really, Master mean it? Kitty so excited, Kitty love Master for asking Kitty to...”

“Pick a damn category already!”

“Whoopsy, uh Comic Anime?”

“Very well, Comedic Anime. Script Generation Begin. You are a very helpful girl, you want to give us all the information that you know, and will be happy about it. Script End.”

Snapcase watched as the girl manning the information booth shifted. She shrank until she was about four and a half feet tall, her hair turned green and bowl shaped, and out of nowhere a pair of bottle glasses plopped onto her nose. You couldn’t see her eyes in the glasses, just a twin pair of whirly lines. Almost immediately she began to speak, and her rate of speech was like a chipmunk on acid.

“Hi, welcome to the New York Tourist and Information Center, my name is Lori and I will glad to be your information guide today. There are so many wonderful things to see in New York, the statue of liberty, the Madison Square Garden, the World Trade Center Monument, the vast underground subway systems. Take your pick...”

“Well, I...” “And let’s not forget our thousands of restaurants, enough to make the taste buds of the most distinguished diner tingle. In fact I know a wonderful Italian restaurant just minutes from here. You simple go straight down this path, then left, left, right, left, up, down, jump in place, retrace your steps, and add another right and you’re there!”

“That’s nice but...”

“But food isn’t your thing, you look like an educated man, and educated men thirst for knowledge. So let me quench that thirst by pointing out the location of the Museum of Natural History, one of New York’s many educational features.”

“I...”

“Or maybe you would like to be closer to nature and have a desire to study the animals which can be found in Central Park Zoo. Oh I so love the animals, especially the cats, I just want to hold them and hug them and pet them over and over as they purr and purr. They’re so CUTE, just like your partner there sir. Hi Kitty, would you like a belly rub?”

“Meow! Would I?” Kitty jumped on the booth face up and began to purr as though she were in heaven as the info girl scratched her exposed belly.

“Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. You are probably looking for a hotel to stay in. Well, you’re in luck; our city is bountiful in its high quality motels. There’s the Hilton, Plaza, La Quinta, the Ritz, the...”

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND!” Snapcase finally snapped his case.

“Shutting up now sir, not a peep out of me, not a single word. You can trust me to complete silence because I know how important a little quiet can be. So you can just relax as the lack of noise from my lips permeates the air. The hushing...”

“Look, I just need to know how to get to the nearest television station. I don’t care which one.”

“Certainly, I am glad to be of assistance, I enjoy answering requests of any and all kinds. I will be happy to tell you where you might find...”

“Just tell me already.”

“Right away sir. You simply walk four blocks north, take a left, then another left, enter the subway, ride it for three stops southbound, leave, make four rights, followed by four lefts, and then talk to the information specialist at that booth.”

“Er, why?”

“Because I have no idea where any of our television stations are.” The girl said proudly.

Snapcase blanched and a giant sweat drop appeared on the side of his head.

“Mmmm, Kitty like this girl master, can Kitty keep her?” Kitty’s limbs vibrated as her belly rub became more pleasurable.

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

Psycho James calmly walked out of the television studio, followed by a wall of flames and the screams of the people still trapped inside the building.

“Well, it seems that the fucker wasn’t in there.” He said.

“Did you have to set the building on fire?” Deborah scolded as executives were jumping out of the windows and splattering all over the sidewalk around them.

“No, but this studio was responsible for shit stains like the Barney show and Teletubbies.”

“Oh.” She glanced up. “Is there any way to make it burn faster?”

Private Perkie was with General Smoker in a rented van, along with several of their comrades in the back sharing space with various guns and equipment. They could not land the helicopters directly in the city, especially after the 9/11 incident several years before. Authorities were extremely suspicious of unauthorized aircraft in their airspace. Also, the two remaining Interceptors, hauling ass, had yet to reach the city.

Now for the difficult task of locating less than half a dozen Conceptians in a huge city. It took them less then ten minutes to find the trail. They parked the vans five blocks away from a burning television studio that the fire department was desperately trying to put out. They briefly wondered if it was simply a coincidence that the place caught on fire, but discounted it when they noticed the head of Barney the dinosaur that was mounted on a stake in front of the building. From the blood dripping, it was obvious the poor actor in the suit had still been wearing it at the time of extraction. General Smoker ordered his troops to search the crowds.

As Perkie passed a news van, she noticed something interesting and called her boss to come check it out. The van had several televisions currently rolling the on air feed of channel 4 news. What had drawn Perkie’s attention was that the reporter announced some startling new breakthroughs about the madness spreading throughout the country.

At the moment a pretty Asian reporter was smiling hugely at the camera while sitting next to her was the biggest looking geek she had ever seen accompanied by a what seemed to be a cartoon catgirl. The geek had some kind of device strapped to his back.

“Hey, Kitty on TV. Hi mom!” The catgirl waved as the geek quickly shushed her.

The reporter never even flinched. “Hello, I’m Luki Mititties and this is breaking news 4. I have here today a Professor Snapcase Mcflurdle who claims he knows the cause of the insanity spreading around. Please enlighten the public.”

The geek nodded proudly. “It will be my pleasure. The reason that everything is going nutty is because of me. I’ve been turning people and things into cartoons left and right. And now that I am here in this studio, I’m going to conquer the world. Mwa ha ha, MWA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Wow, master has improved on his evil laugh. Master is so cool!” The catgirl bounced in her seat.

“Thanks Kitty, I’ve been practicing.” He patted her head.

“Yea! Master likes!” She purred.

“Okay you jokers, this is a news program, how did you get past screening?” The reporter looked miffed.

“I transformed them all into a pack of Disney penguins.” Snapcase replied.

“That’s it, we’re ending this nonsense right now.” She made a cutting motion toward the camera.

“You’re being rather cheeky and disrespectful of your new lord and master.” Snapcase scolded and pulled out what looked like a laser tag pistol that was attached to the device on his back. With a loud zap, the reporter was encased in a weird blue light. “Big breasted Hentai slut. Script generation begin, you have no personality, you are simply a cum bag who will fuck anything you come across, script end.”

The woman turned cartoony and her blouse ripped to shreds as a pair of giant melons popped out of her chest and landed on the news desk. She stared blankly in the camera as she tried unsuccessfully to reach the tips of her new boobs with her arms.

“Wow, like, I’m big!” She observed.

“There’s a dick in my pants.” Snapcase pointed out. “You are allowed to suck on it.”

“Really, okay, thanks.” The reporter wrestled her tits off the desk so she could get under it and at her prize.

After that there seemed to be some commotion and the camera was knocked out of angle, showing an out of focus shot of somewhere off set. This was followed by an annoyed shout from Snapcase, demanding to know where the crew was going. Several more zap sounds were followed by this accompanied with flashes of blue light. In a few moments the camera fixed right back on the news desk.

The channel was then filled with very loud squishy sounds as the camera focused. Apparently the catgirl had found a microphone and was lying across the desk using it happily as a makeshift dildo. She was making some sexy meowing noises.

“Hey, stop that!” Snapcase ordered. The reporters head popped up from below the desk, looking dejected. “Not you dammit, get back down there.” He pushed the reporter’s head back down on his junk while his other arm swept the catgirl off the desk where she hit the floor with an undignified yowl.

“Eek! Plop! Waah, Master’s so mean!” Kitty bawled.

“Anyway, as I was saying. I am the lord and master of this planet. I shall rid you of your three dimensional existence and...and...um. Come to think of it, did I even have a point to this?”

“Mrrrr, I think you said you wanted a buffet of hot toon pussy master.” Kitty said helpfully.

“Oh yeah. I suppose that’s a good excuse as any to put the planet under my iron thumb. So, while the masses are patiently awaiting for the new dawn, let’s have a rerun of last spring breaks clips.”

The studio blinked out and was replaced with thousands of drunk bikini clad babes shouting and dancing around to the latest fad band while a thousand equally drunk guys were trying to get the girls in the mood for some loving. General Smoker and Perkie stared at the screen for a few moments before he suddenly had a fit.

“That man has got to be a Conceptian! A new one, but yes, a Conceptian. No one can be that damn evil!” Richard Smoker yelled.

“Evil? I can hardly say I’m impressed sir, he doesn’t seem like much to me, other than having a device that can turn women into fucktoys I suppose.”

“Ah Perkie, you are as naïve as you are beautiful. We must go to that studio and destroy the menace!”

“What about the Conceptians we’ve been chasing sir?” Perkie said, trying to keep some sarcasm out of her voice as she seethed at his dismissive attitude toward her.

“Oh I’m sure we’ll run into them. It is almost a certain fact that they are in cahoots with this villain.”

“This asshole has got some huge fucking balls and I’m going to enjoy cutting them off.” Psycho James growled as he kicked in a television display at a shop they stopped at to get some directions.

“On the plus side, we have learned two important things.” The Doctor pointed out.

“Is that so? And what the fuck would those be.”

“First off, we now know what station he is going to hook his device up to. And second, I have got to get off my ass on spring break and attend one of these drunken beach orgies.”

“Ah, they’re alright, but Mardi Gras is better. The bitches there pretty much prostitute themselves for plastic, no need even to think up a pickup line.”

“Hmmm, good point.”

“Um, the mad scientist?” Deborah cut in.

“What about him?” Asked the Doctor.

“Shouldn’t we be, you know, doing something?”

“Hey, no problem, we’ll head over to channel four just as soon as I shut this whiny bitch up who’s coming to complain about the TV I just busted. Hand me my shotgun Doc.”

Snapcase was on top of the roof hooking up his device onto the satellite dish. He was deep in concentration rewiring the thing to splice it with the circuitry of the dish. The device was a bit different than the one on his back, the main thing being that it was equipped with a randomizer. This would allow people to be changed into random toons with preset scripts for their genre type, thus saving him the annoying and mentally exhausting task of going to every shapeless blob and giving it a definition, of which there would be billions.

Granted he still had his script generator and his backpack transformer, so he could make changes whenever and wherever he wished. He had just gotten the thing installed and was about to turn it on when Kitty interrupted him.

“Gee Master, do you think it was a good idea to go on television, meow!”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Won’t people be mad about you taking over the world?”

“I don’t know why. Surely everyone should be thrilled about becoming cartoon characters. I haven’t heard any complaints so far. How do you feel about being a cartoon catgirl?”

“Horny master. Master fuck Kitty?”

“See, you’re not the worse for it. I can’t think of anyone who would want to stop me.”

“Hold it right there fuckbag.” The door to the roof slammed open and several people burst out. Snapcase recognized the people from the van he had busted up.

“Wait a minute, didn’t I drop a nuclear bomb on you guys?” Snapcase asked.

“Hey yeah, he did. I completely forgot about that.” The guy in glasses holding a shotgun exclaimed.

“You did?” A pretty black haired lady asked.

“I guess that’s another damn reason to tear out his intestines and decorate the building with them.”

“Psycho Bill like intestines, squishy, squishy.” A frizzy haired maniac waving a knife around burst from the back.

“Meow, these guys are scary!” Kitty bawled. “Kitty no like!”

“Me neither, who the hell are you people?” Snapcase demanded.

“We’re Conceptians.” The leader roared.

There was complete silence as Snapcase stared at them with a blank expression.

“From Twisted Concepts.” The man continued.

Still uncomprehending silence.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, don’t you ever watch the fucking news? The paranoid dipshits in the rest of this country have dedicated a whole channel to speculations of what our people are doing in our town.”

“I mainly watch the Anime Network and Cartoon Network, with brief stops at Comedy Central.” Snapcase shrugged.

“Ah, figures. Anyway, I’m Psycho James, this is Deborah, the Doctor, Road Rage Ron, and Psycho Bill.”

“Bill kill now?” Psycho Bill pouted.

“Hey yeah, why the fuck am I introducing ourselves, we came to kill your ass. Get ready to eat lead mother fu...”

An explosion blew apart the staircase behind them. Everyone on the roof ducked. As the noise and confusion died down, a helicopter buzzed over the building, getting ready to turn around.

“Now what?” Snapcase screamed.

“Goddam, why the hell does A-CUNT always try to piss on what we’re doing?” Psycho James yelled.

A volley of machine gun bullets left a trail along the roof as they all scattered out of the way. Psycho James pulled out his shotgun and fired a couple of blasts at the aircraft, taking out one of their guns.

“Master, Kitty scared!” Kitty latched onto Snapcase like a leech as they ducked behind the satellite dish.

“What is with these wackos? You try to do the world a favor by turning it two dimensional and all the crazies seem to come out of the woodworks.” Snapcase cringed.

“Enough of this shit, Bill, kill the madman and his pet while we get rid of these fuckers.” Psycho James ordered.

Snapcase blanched as the wild haired man perked up and ran straight for them, his knives twirling dangerously. So he did the only thing he knew.

ZAP!

As the beam of light hit Psycho Bill square in the chest, something remarkable happened. He began to change without being given a genre definition first. His skin and hair turned green and he began to grow. With some quick thinking, the madman jumped off of the building, only to reappear as his head towered over the skyscrapers.

“What the hell, you turned Psycho Bill into the Jolly Green Giant.” Psycho James marveled.

“Ah, he must have got a television commercial genre somehow.”

Psycho Bill looked around confused and scratched his head, as his hand came up to do so it smacked into the helicopter and sent it to explode into one of the nearby buildings. Bill seemed pleased with the fire and clapped his hands and jumped enthusiastically up and down, causing subway tunnels underneath him to collapse.

“Hey Bill, you see anymore of those fuckers up there?”

“Hee hee, Bill see!”

“Go get them!”

With an insane cry of amusement, Psycho Bill leapt. In the process he obliterated Times Square and pushed several buildings out of the way. The sound of more machine gun fire came in the distance as more A-CUNT helicopters tried to get the hell out of the way. Eventually, the air force, who had deployed when the suspicious copters came into the city, noticed the giant green Bill and joined in the battle.

“He’s destroying the city!” Deborah cried.

“Ah, it’s not like anyone’s going to notice.” Psycho James shrugged, as a train went flying over their heads.

“That does it!” Snapcase snapped. “Enough of this nonsense.” He reached over to his device and activated it. The dish made a loud hum as blue light surrounded it, then exploded outward.

Perkie and Richard entered the station with a dozen of their fellow militia members. Richard ordered the troops to spread out and search the place. The building was full of network personal, all of which were acting a bit crazy. They easily passed the security team, which were waddling around and tap-dancing. They searched offices and sets, where they encountered multiple groups of people engaging in sexual acts. Every now and then they nearly got run over by people chasing other people with oversize prop mallets and other paraphernalia.

“Weirdoes.” General Smoker scoffed.

“They are acting a bit cartoony.” Perkie replied, feeling a familiar heat between her legs as she got ever closer to danger.

“Whatever, let’s end this travesty. Hold on, what is that?” Richard pointed at a blue wave of energy coming toward them.

“Sir, I think we better...eek!”

The energy washed over them and they felt themselves changing. As the euphoria passed, they looked at the world with whole new eyes. For one thing, everything seemed much more colorful. Not to mention, some of the odd things the people in the building were doing began to make sense as they could finally see the people as cartoon characters. That was when they took a good look at each other.

Richard Smoker was dressed up like a hard-boiled fifties detective in a brown trenchcoat and a wide rimmed hat, a cigarette hanging from his mouth was heavily polluting the air. He was still holding his gun, but it looked years out of date.

“Gee boss, you look silly, tee hee.” Perkie’s voice bubbled out of her.

Her boss’s reply came out a bit strange. For one thing, he didn’t move his lips, and he had a brooding expression on his face. Perkie looked around as she heard his voice in the air as though it were narrating.

“This case had taken an unexpected and withering toll on this old man, as evidenced by the lack of respect from his subordinate. Perkie was a classy dame, full of fire for the job at hand, yet I could not take her seriously dressed up as a schoolgirl. Perhaps daddy would have to give her a spanking.”

“Yeah right, like, you wish.” Perkie snapped her gum. “Hey wait a minute, why am I chewing gum?” She spat it on the floor.

As she looked down at herself, she realized that she was indeed dressed up like a schoolgirl in uniform. She was even carrying a purse. With great panic, she searched herself, and with relief found her gun inside the purse. Granted the gun was pink, but it was still a gun.

“Oh yeah, now I can like totally do my job and junk.” Perkie bounced, causing her short skirt to reveal more than it should. “Ah crap, I sound like a total ditz, mega uncool!”

“It was clear that my partner was trying to seduce me with her charms of so called innocence, but when you get to be my age you become hardened to the eccentricities of youth. Still, she was a good kid with her heart in the right place.” Richard’s voice narrated.

“Oh, stuff it boss.” Perkie snapped and slapped her ass in emphasis.

“Nevertheless, this game of cat and mouse was still underway, and the perp still needed to receive a good dose of old fashioned justice. And I was just the one to deliver the medicine.”

“Now you talk...er...narrating, lets go get that bad guy!”

The first thing Psycho James did was look at his hands; they were a lot less detailed and much more colorful than he remembered. Well, colorful might not have been the correct term, considering that ninety percent of him seemed to be drawn of shadows. He looked out over the rooftops and saw the wave of transformation overtaking the city.

“Mwa ha ha, a beautiful pixilated paradise all for me!” Snapcase cried. When he had transformed, he came out wearing a tight spandex suit with a big D written on the front. Springing from his back, and a couple from his sides were long appendages like looked suspiciously like dicks. The catgirl had her eyes transfixed on one and was mindlessly batting her paws at it.

“What the fuck are you supposed to be?”

“I am, the DICKTATOR!” Snapcase posed. “The newest superhero and godhead of Earth.”

“You’re a villain jerkoff.”

“Superhero, supervillian, it’s all the same. Now then, as for you.” He aimed a device at Psycho James. “Script generation begin, you have no desire to harm me in any way. You shall go home and open up a flower shop. Script end.”

“Screw you poindexter. I’m going to enjoy shoving that device up your ass.”

“Hold on, how come this thing didn’t work? I’ll have to do some study later. Alright, you want a piece of me?” Snapcase assumed a battle stance; all of his tentacle dicks froze in menace.

“Hey Deb, get ready for some good hard fucking.” Psycho James called. “Because I’m going to need it to wipe all the gay off of me after this battle.”

“Uh, okay.” Deborah squeaked. She was currently a chibi version of herself, standing about two feet tall and wearing a dress containing enough fabric to clothe an entire sorority house.

“Gay! I’m not gay! That does it, ERECTO EXTENDO!” All of Snapcase’s dicks formed as one and shot forward, hitting Psycho James in the chest and sending him flying across the roof.

“And that wasn’t gay?” Psycho James roared as he skidded to a stop. A pair of blades extended out of his arms. “What the fuck, hmm, ah well, works for me I guess. Time to deal with you Lorena Bobbit style.”

Psycho James lunged forward as Snapcase whipped his dicks around. He howled as one of them got circumcised. All of a sudden, Psycho James was knocked back and frozen to the floor as a big glob of white sticky stuff glued him down.

“This shit had better not be what I think it is.” Psycho James seethed. In his anger, he burst into flames, melting off the crusted white substance.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool. What did you turn into?” Snapcase asked.

“I’m not sure.” A pair of chains burst out of his back and waved threateningly as the fire died down. “But I think I’ve become something out of a Todd McFarland comic. Fucking sweet.”

The chains wrapped around a brick pillar lining the roof walls and broke it off, where it was hurled at Snapcase. The man flipped backward as the tentacles caught him and sprung him out of the way. Unfortunately, being new at the job, it sprung him off of the roof.

“Oh shiiiiiit!” He screamed on the way down.

“Ha, too fucking easy.” Psycho James gloated as he ran for the edge to watch the splatter.

“Oh no! Master fall, Kitty Sad!” The catgirl bawled.

When Psycho James looked over, his expression hardened. “You have got to be kidding me.”

One of Snapcase’s dicks had grabbed hold of a flagpole sticking out of the building on the way down and he was now bouncing around like he was on a bungee cord.

“Yea! Master’s alive, Kitty happy!” The catgirl squealed.

Psycho James growled and jumped off the roof, his blades made sparks as they dragged into the wall going down.

“Should we go down and watch?” Deborah asked the pair of hands floating in midair.

“Can’t hurt. Hey, where’s Ron.” They searched around but all they could find was something that looked like a large soda machine where he used to be standing.

“Don’t you dare laugh.” The soda machine growled and spit out a can of Mr. Pibb from its front.

The battle raged on in the street. After awhile, it became apparent that neither opponent was taking it very seriously. They were too busy marveling at the things that their new bodies could do. Snapcase did a move where he spun around in place like a tornado while his multiple flexible tenti-dicks zipped by like deadly whips. Psycho James countered with a move that caused the fabric of his clothes to harden into an impenetrable armor and followed it by causing it to shoot out spikes. Snapcase dodged the spikes by slamming his tentacles down into the street, causing him to trampoline into the air in a rebound; he aimed a kick for his opponent as he descended. Psycho James whipped out a chain and wrapped it around Snapcase’s foot as he came down and used the man’s momentum to spin him around in the air. Snapcase used his quick thinking to latch onto a flagpole using his tentacles and turned Psycho James’ trick back onto him as a rubber band effect sent him hurling toward a building. His clothes encased him in a sphere while the chain was still latched to Snapcase’s foot, causing him to become a wrecking ball for the wall.

After Psycho James emerged from the wreckage, he had a big smile on his face as he hurled hell fire at his opponent. Snapcase dodged and spat out more globs of suspicious white stuff, only this was highly acidic rather than entrapping. As this was happening, a city bus had the misfortune to drive between the two. The tires squeals and the bus swerved and smashing into a street lamp, One side melting from acid and the other a mass of flames, with dozens of screaming toons trying to escape from inside.

“This is pretty fucking cool.” Psycho James laughed.

“I’ll say. Why are you trying to kill me if you like being a cartoon so much?” Snapcase asked.

“Nothing personal dipshit. I could care less about you ruling the planet and warping reality. However, its causing the barrier in my town to go loopy, and the last thing I want to have to deal with is the total destruction of existence once all of the chaos escapes.”

“Say what?”

“Don’t try to understand it fucker, you’ll just go insane. Whoops, too late.”

“Hey, I resent that. Just what is so mad about trying to score boundless pussy by causing all of the women to become illustrated?”

“I suppose I can agree with you there. Come on, let’s see what you can do.”

About this time, the Doctor and Deborah both showed up, having missed most of the interesting bits of the fight. They were just in time to see Snapcase tense up, then shot out four tentacles to the sides and into the windows of the nearby buildings. He had intended to snag some solid object inside, pull backwards, and then slingshot himself at Psycho James. Instead, he got a commotion of feminine screams. Curious, he reeled the tentacle dicks back in, each one was buried inside the snatch of a hysterical toon chick.

“Oh for god’s sake.” Snapcase shot a hefty load of cum into each woman, causing their bellies to swell just before they shot off the dicks like a geyser. “Don’t you hate it when that happens?”

“How true. I remember one time the Doctor invented this lubricant that had the side effect of making your sweat act as glue. I took that shit to a neighborhood orgy and we had bodies stuck to each other all over the place. Hell, I was the center of a large body ball that had to roll its way all the down to the Doctor’s office to get him to reverse the fucking stuff.”

“That’s weird.”

“Actually, that’s pretty much normal for our hellhole.”

“Uh, James.” Deborah cut in. “Are you about done fighting? Because we still have to deal with that dish.”

“Dammit bitch, I’m in the middle of something here. And my name is Psycho James.”

“Yeah but...”

“Stop interrupting or I’ll give you a spanking that will take the skin right off your hide.”

“You like dishing out punishment to your slave?” Snapcase was intrigued.

“Yeah, it’s the fucking highlight of my day.”

“It’s a blast, you can’t believe how much fun I have punishing Kitty. Just the other day I was using the ass basher 6500 on...”

“The ass basher? That’s not a bad piece of equipment for beginners, but its not very subtle. The intimidating size of it is more a psychological fucker rather than an indication on how painful it is.”

“Hmm, I did notice I couldn’t get much force into the swing.”

“The balance on that thing is a bit off, the momentum doesn’t yield to proper effect. Now if you want something that really lets the bitch know whose boss, use a cane. I have this plastic one that vibrates with the force of the blow, the damn thing nearly draws blood since it can be concentrated on a small area.”

“I’ll have to try that on Kitty, where did you get yours?”

“Oh great.” The Doctor grumbled. “The madman has got him talking shop, we could be here for hours.”

Deborah sighed. “It could be worse, he could have gotten into talking about the advantages and pitfalls of different brands of bondage restraints.”

“Uh oh, he just started talking about the advantages and pitfalls of different brands of bondage restraints.”

“Um, Doctor, just how long can we allow this cartoon effect to take place before it starts to weaken the barrier on our town?”

“A few days I suppose, unless something catastrophic happens.”

“BILL KILL GOOD!” Psycho Bill’s voice yelled out blocks away. A helicopter was flung and it sailed out of control to smash right into the satellite dish on top of the television station. The helicopter, the dish, and Snapcase’s device were all engulfed in a tremendous explosion.

Then all hell broke loose as the broken effect of the cartoon waves turned inward. A loud keening sound announce the birth of a black hole portal. It began to suck in everything around it. Snapcase’s attention was drawn away from the interesting conversation he was having with his would be murderer by the loud scream of Kitty.

“KITTY!” Snapcase shouted.

“Master help! Kitty scared!” Kitty screamed, she was holding onto the brick sides of the roof, her feet were dangling in the air behind her as the portal was trying to suck her inside. She was filled with terror as she began to lose her grip.

“Hold on Kitty, Master is coming. Erecto Extendo!” Snapcase shot out his tentacle dicks, catching Kitty’s hands as she lost her grip. She fearfully grabbed onto his appendages as she was pulled backwards. As it was, Snapcase was nearly pulled off of the ground to join her to her doom, but Psycho James grabbed hold of the man and used his clothes to bolt them to the ground.

“Pull the slut in dammit.” Psycho James ordered.

“Can’t you see I’m trying, the current is too strong, and it’s getting stronger.” Snapcase panted.

“Shit, can this day get any worse?”

“Funny you should mention that.” The Doctor called out.

“Oh now what?” Psycho James turned his head, and blanched.

A hard-boiled detective was behind Deborah, lifting her off of the ground, and was putting a revolver against her head. A schoolgirl with some perky titties was standing behind him, holding up a pink gun and shivering with excitement. As this registered in his brain, a voice out of nowhere filled the air.

“It seemed that fortunes have turned toward our favor, for I had acquired the one thing the head of the manipulators cared about. I considered putting a bullet in the head of the dame, a cute girl if a bit short for my taste, but I decided against it. Why eat the salad when you can have a steak.”

“You have no idea just how dead you are fucker. Let her go and I might consider making it less painful.” Psycho James said dangerously.

“The man was bluffing of course, fully aware that if he even so much as moved an inch from his precarious position, his lover’s brains would be splattered across the street. So he could only stare helplessly as my partner, a dame much smarter than she looked, could fire upon him and end his reign of evil.”

“You really need to stop narrating boss, it’s like, totally annoying.” The schoolgirl pouted.

“If you kill him, you doom our continued existence.” The Doctor said calmly.

“The brains behind the devil tried to bluff our resolve, but we saw through his lies. Only triumph could come this day.”

“On the contrary boss.” The schoolgirl fired her gun. The top of the detective’s head opened up and spewed like a fountain. His eyes were widened in surprise for a bare moment before he died. His grip on Deborah loosened as his corpse hit the ground. The schoolgirl screamed out and clutched at her crotch as the most powerful orgasm of her life overcame her.

“What the fuck? I’m missing something here.” Psycho James stared at the panting girl.

“What a windy prig, like, I’m so glad he’s dead.” The schoolgirl shuddered, cumming briefly a second and third time.

“You could have killed Psycho James, why didn’t you?” The Doctor asked.

“What, are you kidding. Like, chasing that stud muffin around and watching the totally gruesome body count he leaves behind makes me totally wet. Why end such a good thing just to give some stag points to this dead fucker here. I can’t believe I considered sleeping with him. Like, barf!”

“And we thought toonboy was insane!” Deborah moaned as she crawled from under the body.

“Don’t knock it sister, I’m soooo jealous right now knowing that he buffs your lobby on a regular basis.”

Deborah was about to say something but was interrupted by the cries of Kitty swinging above.

“Master, Kitty can’t hold on, Kitty slipping.”

“Oh shit, hang tight, I...don’t wiggle around so much, you going make me...”

All of a sudden a load of cum spat right into Kitty’s face from the tentacle dick she was holding. She screamed and instinctively wiped at it. When her hand let go, the slick cum around the tentacle caused Snapcase’s grip to give like he was holding onto a greased pig. Kitty went flying backwards; crying in terror as the portal sucked her up.

“Kitty, no! Oh god, what have I done? This is all my fault!” Psycho James let go of him as he pulled his tentacles back. “Ah, quit being so fucking melodramatic. She couldn’t have been that good of a lay.” He snapped. “You have no idea.” Snapcase sobbed. “I think I loved her.” “She might be alright, there’s no telling where that portal leads to.” The Doctor reasoned. “You think so?” “The important thing right now though is we need to close it, and reverse the effects of this cartoon wave spreading across the planet. I think I have an idea, let me get a look at that device strapped on your back.” “Why?” “I think that maybe I can switch the polarity of its reality bending properties to counter the portal. I need to do some calculations though.” “I’ll help, I built the thing, I should be able to reverse it.” “You’d be willing to do that? There will be no more cartoon pussy for you if we succeed.” “Without Kitty by my side, it seems meaningless.” “Oh boo fucking hoo.” Psycho James sneered. “Just fix the fucking thing. I’m tired of all this shit already.” “Er, I know this is like mondo late and everything, but could someone fill me in on the details.” Perkie asked.

The proper adjustments were made to Snapcase’s device, so they rushed into the building. They got halfway across the lobby when the Doctor let out a strangled ‘eek’ followed by some clattering. They turned to see a framed portrait with a pair of hands in the picture.

“Ah, fucking great.” Psycho James exclaimed, picked up the picture, and roughly shoved it onto a nail he found in the wall.

“Like, what happened to him.” Perkie asked.

“The barrier in our town fluctuated.” Deborah said.

“What?”

“We manipulator Conceptians maintain the damn barrier that surrounds our town and keeps all of the chaos trapped inside. Whenever some shit goes down that causes stress on the barrier, sometimes it lets out a burp. Since we are directly connected with the barrier, this often causes the chaos within us to fuck up a bit.” Psycho James snorted. “Hold on, why am I suddenly seeing double?”

“It looks like you grew a face in the back of your head honey.” Deborah pointed.

“Shit, two changes so close together. Things are going down. Hurry up dumbass.” Psycho James kicked Snapcase in the rear.

No need to be told twice, they all ran for it. Once they opened the door to the staircase though, they were all of a sudden sucked up like a vacuum cleaner. They yelled as their bodies kept slamming into the walls and the rails of the stairs as they were pulled upward.

“Ah crap, your fucking portal is getting hungrier.” Psycho James roared.

Just as they feared all was lost, they plowed into something blocking their doom on the roof.

“Ouch, watch it you idiots.” Ron snapped, losing three cans of sprite and a pepsi in the process.

“Holy cunt flaps, is that you Ron.” Psycho James laughed. “You’re a vending machine!”

“Tell me something I don’t know jerkoff.” He screamed, releasing a volley of root beer.

“Why haven’t you been sucked into that portal over there?”

“I’m bolted to the floor, don’t ask me why. It was annoying at first, but you’d be amazed at how quickly you get used to something when it means certain death if it gives way.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright toonboy, do your thing.”

Snapcase aimed his device at the portal and fired. The energy sort of fizzled out before it was sucked away.

“It’s no use.” He sighed. “I’m going to have to get closer.”

“But if you leave this spot, you’ll be sucked inside.” Deborah pointed out.

“Would that be so bad, without Kitty this world does not seem so...HEY, ARRRGH.”

Psycho James flung him over the vending machine, where the portal caught hold of him.

“Why’d you do that?” Deborah said appalled.

“To save us another poor Kitty speech, you can thank me later by blowing me.”

Snapcase was sucked up inside the portal when suddenly...

FWUMP!

They all fell in a pile on the roof, burying Road Rage Ron underneath them as his vending machine shape turned back into a human. He would have cried in outrage, but there was a can of coke stuck halfway in his mouth. It took a few moments to get untangled and glance at their surroundings.

The roof seemed to have been repaired; even the satellite dish was back. They ran out to the edge of the roof, inspecting the damages caused by Psycho Bill and the dogfight with A-CUNT. There were no traces of it. Although judging from the sounds of the screams below followed by a series of insane giggles, Psycho Bill was still having his fun. They were happy to note that everything was three-dimensional again. Even Psycho James had lost his extra face.

“Wow.” Perkie groaned, recovering from the sexual thrill of having her life on the line, her dumb valley girl accent gone. “Why is everything all fixed?”

“That’s simple.” The Doctor announced, stepping out of the staircase as he tried to pull a nail out of his back. “It’s one of the laws of cartoon reality. No matter how badly you bust up the city in one episode, it is always miraculously repaired in the next.”

“So, what happens now?” She asked.

“Generally in situations like this.” Psycho James said. “We get drunk, beat the crap out of anything that moves, fuck anything with tits, then go home. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in that order.”

“Sound’s nice.”

“It’s a blast. Hell, you’re pretty cute, maybe I can stuff your twat before we go.”

“James!” Deborah squeaked.

“Psycho James god dammit, and you’ll be licking out her ass while I’m doing it.”

“Then what?” Perkie asked.

“Well, then I usually blast a glob of cum on your face and then do it all over again in a different position.”

“No, I mean. I am a member of A-CUNT, and I did kill my commanding officer. I was wondering what I was going to do about it.”

“Pretty late to be worrying about that, don’t you think bitch.”

“Actually.” The Doctor cut in. “She could be useful as a double agent for us. Simply by taking credit for ending the insanity here should be enough to consider her a position in command I would think. Of course, as a double agent, her life would always be at risk of getting caught by her fellow militia members.”

Perkie’s nipples visibly hardened. “I’ll do it! I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to hold leadership though. None of the other’s lasted long because they couldn’t even kill a single Conceptian.”

The Conceptians all shared meaningful glances with one another.

“I’m sure we can work something out.” The Doctor laughed.

Epilogue

A week later...

Little Billy was at the bar, watching the now favorite television show, ‘Off Preacher Bob.’ The host Harry Ballsakz was explaining the gag for the week. Apparently Psycho James had been kind enough to knock Bob unconscious and drag him into the forest outside of town.

When Preacher Bob woke up, he was happy to find out that he was free. That was until he discovered that the forest was rigged with landmines. That and the fact that what seemed like an army was baring down on him with machine guns, led by some crazy girl with extremely perky apples.

By the end of the thirty-minute show, his body had been rendered into so much bloody goop, it would take him a week to regenerate. The show quickly went into the classic files.

Snapcase McFlurdle opened his eyes, everything was blurry. Not to mention his head hurt like a bitch where he had landed on it. The first thing he had noticed was that his hand was still very colorful and there were still tentacle dicks sticking out of his body. He groaned, realizing that he had failed, but then blinked and began to wonder where he was. The last thing he remembered was hurling toward the portal and...

“Yea! Master’s awake, Kitty so happy.” A heavy form plopped hard onto his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

Kitty?

He grew aware of his surroundings; he seemed to be in some kind of animated hospital. By the sharpness and seriousness of the set, he figured it was either anime or hentai quality. Kitty was licking at his face and rubbing her body all over him, stirring some interest in the multiple tentacle dicks.

“Wha...what happened?” Snapcase struggled to sit up, helped by her somewhat.

He glanced around, there were nurses everywhere, all staring at him with hungry eyes. His own widened as he realized that they were all furry anthros, dogs, cats, bunnies, vixens, every single one.

“Gee master, when Kitty fall here, Kitty find out lots of neat things. Everyone is like Kitty, and horny too. But oh master, something terrible happened here, last year something happened to wipe out the male gender on this planet. But no worry, the nicey nice nurses say your sperm works purrrrfectly to make pregnant furries. Master gets to knock up an entire planet. Yea!”

“What!”

Button’s popped and clothe ripped as a dozen horny anthro nurses tore off what little clothing they had as they converged on him.

“Kitty, something tells me your master is going to be punished for all of his evil deeds. Mwa ha ha, mwa ha ha ha ha, MWA HA HA HA!”

“Now master is in the spirit. Give Kitty a dick! Meow!”