Absalom
by An Animus
OK, my dear husband. Just sit back and make yourself comfortable. There are just a couple of things we need to talk about first. Now, you’ve agreed to let me hypnotize you, which means you have to see it through, and cooperate even as I put you into a very, very deep trance. Do you still agree to that? Good. Well, yes that’s technically true. At one level it’s true that no one can hypnotize you against your will, but that’s a misleading statement that hypnotherapists make to allay the fears of potentially skittish clients. I can’t hypnotize someone if he doesn’t want to be hypnotized, but here’s the thing: I can make him want to be hypnotized. Really.
Yes, here’s how it goes. Keep in mind, first of all, that it’s not that hard to make someone want something they initially don’t want. Oh? OK, here’s an example. Do you, right now, want a strawberry ice cream cone? No, of course you don’t. It’s ten in the morning—who eats ice cream at ten? And you prefer chocolate anyway, right. But if I point out nice it would be to taste something cool and sweet after the salty omelette you had for breakfast...with the salty taste still lingering in your mouth...and how refreshing strawberry would be...cool, light, and delicate...just a bit, melting on your tongue. And when you have an ice cream cone so will I, and you’ll notice how I lick it, how my tongue and my lips look, how it starts to make you hard...and having a strawberry ice cream cone right now seems like the most natural thing in the world.
So tell me, do you want a strawberry ice cream cone? Heh, heh. I thought so. See? It’s just like advertising. Really, if an advertiser knew you as well as I do, they could make you want almost anything.
Yes, sure. Hypnosis is different. But in fact it’s easier. You see, hypnosis is just a process of inducing an altered state of consciousness in order to make it easier to communicate with your unconscious mind. You see, your unconscious gets lonely. Like anyone it wants someone to pay attention to it, to be nice to it. So it’s fairly easy to get the subconscious mind listening, intrigued, and feeling cooperative even if consciously someone is resisting the idea with all their might. You could be shouting, looking away, saying “la la la,” but it wouldn’t matter. Once the process started I could bring your unconscious mind around to my way of thinking on the subject with no trouble at all. It’s super easy for me to do to you, of course, because you already trust me, deep in your soul. But even if you thought I am an evil witch who is going to enchant you and subjugate you, as long as I could get you to listen to me for a couple of minutes there would be no fighting it.
But I don’t want to do that to you. Unless I have to. Heh, just kidding. I just want to make sure I have your explicit consent before I lay your mind open to me. In your deep trance state you are quite vulnerable, and an unscrupulous person could do things to your mind that would not be in your best interest.
What? Oh, yeah. That’s another one of those half truths. No, it’s not possible to get someone to do something through hypnosis that goes against their basic values, beliefs, and wishes. But again, that’s just a way to make it sound safe and harmless. Like dental offices with signs that say “painless dentistry.” Who are they kidding? But people don’t understand hypnosis well enough to be aware of the degree of power the hypnotist has over you. You see, as you’ve heard, in deep states of hypnosis you can me made to see and hear things that are not there, and to experience posthypnotic hallucinations that are...inescapably vivid. You would never hurt me, for example, but if an evil hypnotist made you believe that upon waking you would be confronted by a crazed Croatian woman with a poisoned dagger, and that you would have to kill or be killed, you could very well be made to strangle me. Heh, no. You’re right. We won’t let that happen.
No, no. I’m just making sure you agree to let me put you into a deep state of hypnosis in which you are profoundly under my power. Good. Yes, I know you trust me. Yes, I agree. I’m being very dramatic.
So, here we go. Just keep relaxing and breathing, and notice how easily you can concentrate on the sound of my voice, how the rhythm and tone of my voice is like a kind of music, and you may find that you don’t even need to pay attention to my words in order to enjoy the way the sound of my voice relaxes you more and more. That’s right, just relax into it. Breathing in slowly through your nose...and out slowly through your mouth. In...and out. Good.
And you may come to realize that you don’t know for sure whether you are already under hypnosis, and that you don’t know how long you’ve been going under, and you may be aware that you are learning things...about your unconscious...mind wandering, OK to wander...finding your way...just drifting now...in and out...around and through...learning to go deeper and deeper. The sound of my voice wrapping you up and carrying you peacefully down to a very safe place...where you can find yourself feeling good...and noticing your awareness of your body...of the sounds around you in the room...of your breathing...and how it all weaves together into a soothing little symphony...flowing around and under my words...under my spell...every sensation letting you drift...just as deep as you want to go...into a restful unconscious rest of the sensations are with you...but more and more distant...more and more relaxing...that’s right. That’s right...just like that.
And now you will hear me count backwards...and your mind can follow my voice down and down...and with each number you can allow yourself to drift deeper and deeper...into your most comfortable state...down deeper and deeper into hypnosis with each number that I count...
Five. You are becoming aware of how it feels to go deep into trance...letting your unconscious mind lead the way down...and down...
Four. That’s right...deeper again...down and down...unimportant things drifting away now...your unconcious mind able to focus more and more on what you are experiencing inside yourself...learning to go down...deeper...letting go now...
Three. Already so deep, but going deeper now...completely relaxed...knowing that however you want to go into trance is just perfect...however deep you want to go...
Two. Down...drifting now...focusing on my voice even as my words become the background...down...down...just letting go...deeper...deeper...
One. That’s right...coming to rest...moving toward what you are learning...concentrating on the sound of my voice...
Two. Coming slowly up now...things getting more clear...feeling lighter now...
Three. Up and up...becoming a little more alert with each breath now...not so heavy...
Two! Down! Down! Deeper and deeper again...faster and faster...down, down...
One. Down deeper and deeper and deeper with every moment deeper and deeper...down...down...so heavy and content now...even deeper...going even deeper for me...
Down...
Down...
That’s right...just perfect...learning to go so deep now...Just drifting deeper...so dim and comfortable now...so deep...good...very, very good...you are doing so well...as you go deeper and deeper I am so proud of you...and you now can become aware of going...deeper still...
That’s right...
So deep...and completely relaxed...my words going directly to your subconscious mind...listening to the things I have to tell your unconscious...wonderful things to hear...to learn...every word bringing you deeper...so pleasurable to go deeper for me now...wanting to go deeper...
And now...even deeper...deeper still...your mind so open...feeling so good to be open to my suggestions...feeling that secret feeling...having that understanding that you can’t name...yourself...wondering what will happen now...looking forward to learning who you are...wondering who you might be someone who can go beyond...what you don’t know...your name...putting away your name now...no need to do anything but remember that forgetting is a kind of remembering everything but who you are...what your name was...where did you put it away...no name needed now...you know what you need to follow my words and enjoy learning to obey them...like a secret game...
That’s right...nothing to think about but learning to go deeper...into that nameless place of relaxation...so pleasant to listen and learn and do what I ask of you...so pleasant to please me...automatic and natural to do what pleases me...
And so pleasant to realize that you now know how to go this deep...and even deeper...and that when we come here again you can instantly go deeper for me...effortless to enter trance when I give you the secret signal...wondering how deep you can go...and you may wonder what the secret signal will be...but you remember that it’s the word “Absalom”...Absalom... the secret that will tell you that it’s OK to plunge right down here to this deep, open place, and even to go twice as deep...Absalom...wondering what you will find when you go twice as deep...the secret signal that let’s your unconcscious know that it’s time to take over...and let your sleepy mind rest...and come down here with me...when I say “Absalom” and you immediately sink into trance...twice as deep as you are now...your body staying relaxed wherever you are...your eyes closing and your unconscious bringing you down so deep...deeper and deeper...twice as deep...and twice as deep again...because you know how to go deeper...at the secret signal...Absalom takes you twice as deep...open and relaxed...no need for conscious thought now...wanting to come back here and learn more...
That’s right...your conscious mind remembering only that you had a relaxing time...because that’s all it needs to know...and your unconscious mind waiting, relaxed, for the secret signal...that will bring you down here again...and deeper still...as I lead you to places you can’t yet imagine...and you will learn wonderful things there...things you know deeply...so deeply...while your conscious mind awakes and forgets...sets aside the unimportant things...nameless...wondering what it might have been...wondering...
And now I will count forwards, and with each number you will find yourself rushing upward toward the surface of your waking mind, as though you were coming up from deep under the cool, soothing water, with each number rising higher and higher...faster and faster... and when I reach five you will be fully awake, feeling completely refreshed and very, very happy...all of our secrets with you, but down deep...your conscious mind not needing to know...your nameless relaxation still within you...
One. Up now, higher and higher...noticing your breath...becoming aware now...
Two. Faster and higher...feeling your body start to move...aware of the room around you...coming awake now...
One. Wide awake, now. Wide awake.
Hi, sweetie. How are you doing? That’s OK, you’re still a little fuzzy just now. Just take a deep breath and you’ll feel great. You do? That’s good. You did a great job. You did just wonderfully. I love you so much. I am so proud of you.
What? Yes, you really went under. Well, it’s common not to remember everything, and not to be aware at all that you were “out like a light.” No, I promise—I hypnotized you, and you did great.
Hah! That’s hysterical. I can’t believe you don’t believe me. You’re supposed to trust your wife, remember? OK, I can prove it to you. No, I’m not going to make you cluck like a chicken. No, I’m just going to point out something that you’ve misplaced. No, not your keys again. Something better. Are you curious now? OK, here’s the big question:
What’s your name?
Cat got your tongue? What’s your name, dear husband? Surely that’s the easiest thing in the world to remember, right? How can it be that you don’t know your own name? Now don’t get upset, everything’s alright. It’s just a little game. I just took it away for a while. No, that’s not it and you know it.
Do you want it back? What will you give me for it? Oh, come on, sweetie, don’t take it so seriously. You know you can trust me. I’ll give it back—I’ll just need to hypnotize you again.
What? Now, don’t be like that. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, but you have to let me hypnotize you again so I can let you remember your name again. Yes, it might come back on its own in time, but wouldn’t you like to have it back now? Come on, just let me hypnotize you again for a few minutes.
Sweetie, just relax. It isn’t that bad. It was very pleasant, I promise. No, it was just for fun. I knew you’d be silly and skeptical and I wanted to be able to prove that it had been real. What? Never again? That’s a strong statement, honey. “Never say never,” you know? No, don’t be mad. Sweetie? Come back.
Oh, so you think I can’t hypnotize you in the kitchen? You think you’re “safe” in here? Come on, I’m just playing, sweetie. I would never do anything to hurt you. Now, I’m going to hypnotize you again, so just have a seat over here.
Let me? You’re not going to “let me” hypnotize you? Honey, don’t you remember our conversation before? Your subconscious and I have an understanding now—I can hypnotize you whether you think you want me to or not. Honey, please don’t be mad.
OK, fine. Just be that way. It’ll all be fine in a few minutes. Yes, it will. You see, I’m not going to let you remember this little tiff. It will all just be wiped away.
Hey! Come back here you silly man! Hold on! OK...
Absalom!
One. Wide awake now, feeling good. Wide awake.
How was it, honey? Good, I’m glad. I enjoyed it too. We’ll do it again later. What? Of course we will. I’m going to hypnotize you several times a day for the next few weeks—I have a lot of suggestions and commands I want to implant. No, no, I’m just kidding. No hypnosis until you’re ready. I love you too, sweetie. You’re the best husband any woman ever had.
Want to watch our latest Netflix acquisition? I think it’s Strangers on a Train. OK, I’m going to get myself some lemonade. Want some? OK. And, honey, by the way...
Absalom.