“Addicted To Love”
There are certain sounds, certain smells associated with hospitals. The steady, comforting beep of the monitors. The chemical tang of antiseptic. The faint, barely detectible scent of human bodies as they go through the spasms of illness and injury. The soft, imperceptible trickle of the IV tube.
This wasn’t a hospital, but those same things were present nonetheless.
The man on the bed was restrained with heavy leather straps. These straps were padded on the interior, and carefully applied so that every effort could be made to avoid injuring him; this did not mean that they were any less effective in keeping him confined to the bed, though. They were merely applied with love. There was also a gag over his mouth. He had an IV drip in his arm, but it didn’t contain a sedative. It was just a saline drip. They didn’t want him drugged. It might contaminate the finished product. There was a machine—a large machine—that sat on top of the bed, at approximately the level of his crotch. It extended beyond the bed, into the wall, and beyond the scope of the man on the bed. It whirred and hummed. An observer might have wondered what it was for, but there were no observers. Leo DeLuca was alone in the room.
“So, what’s that for?” Mikal asked, as he removed the gag.
Leo opened his eyes and looked up. One got the feeling that he wasn’t often called upon to exercise the muscles in his neck. When he spoke, one also got the feeling that he wasn’t often called upon to do that either. “You. Bastard.” Mikal waited for a follow-up, but there was none.
He smiled winningly. “Leo, you’re a hard man to get ahold of, you know. I’ve been trying to get through to you for a follow-up call for days, and nothing doing. Your secretary kept saying you were retired, wouldn’t see anyone; she wouldn’t even tell me where you’d gone. I had to really work to find this private rest home.” He sighed. “Threw my schedule to Gehenna and back.” Then the smile returned. “So I’m here for a follow-up call, checking up on your wishes. I take it they went as planned?”
Leo looked at him, his expression something of a cross between shock, surprise, and inarticulate fury. He stammered for a moment or two, licking dry lips. “Planned?” he finally got out. “You thought this was my plan? Youuungh...” The machine hummed louder for a moment, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he gasped for breath. After a moment or two, he looked back at Mikal. “Are you fucking nuts?”
Mikal frowned in concern. “Alright, I can see we’ve got some issues here, Leo. Why don’t you take this from where I stepped out of the picture?”
Leo grimaced. “You wanna know? Fine. It’s all your damn fault anyway.”
I thought I was on top of the fucking world when you vanished. ‘Lucky’ Leo DeLuca, pulling off another of my big scores...and this time, I figured ‘big score’ pretty much summed it up. I mean, hey—how could you go wrong with wishes like mine, right? So my first step was to get Gina into the room. She’d been doing a little extra work on the side for a few months now, taking extra dick-tation, if ya know what I mean...I figured she’d be a nice test of the whole new package.
“You wanted something, Leo honey?” she asked. She was looking around as she talked—probably wondering where you went. I gotta admit, when I rubbed that ring, I expected you to pop up in a puff of smoke, not make an appointment...but since you didn’t walk out, it fucked with her head a little.
“Yeah, baby,” I said, dropping my pants. “I wanted something.” She got this funny look in her eyes when she saw my dick; I mean, she was always ready to go, but this time, it was like she’d taken a hit of coke or something. She even drooled a little while she was heading my way.
She went right to work, and baby, those lips felt... whirrrrrrr gnnnuh! Lot better than that damn thing, anyway... lemme tell ya, getting a blowjob from a machine takes all the fun out of it. That, and bring stuck in this damned room...anyway, she popped me off. When she did, man, she shook all over like she was being fucked by a fuckin’ porno star or something. That was when I could tell it worked just like I’d wished—cum that was just like fuckin’ heroin, man. Thought it was the best idea I’d ever had... but that was before I knew what I know now.
Anyway, she licked my dick all over, and then started sucking on it again. I let her, ‘cause I wanted to test that ‘multiple orgasm’ thing I’d wished for. Sure enough, man, she got me popped again after just a few minutes...same reaction, too. I had to pull her head offa me to keep her from trying for a third.
“That’s good, baby, that’s real good,” I said. “But you wanna do it again, you’re gonna have to earn it.” Gina was whimpering, and she kept making these little sexy kissing faces, but she was listening real close. “Now, you go out there and you get on the phone, and get me a face-to-face meeting with...” I kinda had to think for a second about who I wanted to do first. I mean, this is Los Angeles, right? Every single gorgeous movie star, every supermodel, every hot singer, and all I had to do was wave my dick in front of their faces and they’d be begging to do whatever I wanted. “...Catherine Zeta-Jones.” Now, before you say anything, I wanna say that this was before she got married. I wouldn’t do nothing to break up a marriage, Mister Genie. That’s a sacred bond. I got ethics, y’know?
Gina pouted a little—I could tell she wanted another taste of the magic juice—but she went out and made the calls. I got Cathy, and Cindy, and Britney... and for a couple of weeks, man, I was on top of the world. Then—whirrrrrrr gnnnuh! It all turned to shit.
It was a pretty good night... I’d just gotten done eating at this nice Italian restaurant, I was in a limo with this executive for Paramount and she was talented...I mean, she had lips that wouldn’t quit. I’d figured I’d just pick her up to get myself an “in” in the industry, but this gal turned out to be a real favorite, y’know? Anyway, the driver turns off of Sunset, and I don’t know where he’s going, but I don’t even notice, because this gal’s really getting into her job, if ya get my drift... and before I know it, we’re pulled off into this weird little house in the middle of nowhere, and when I start yelling at the driver, he cold-cocks me. Son of a bitch. I pay him sixty grand a year to do nothing but be my goddamn driver, and the guy helps ‘em tie me up, all because he’s got a thing for my fuckin’ secretary and she’s got him wrapped around her little finger.
Yeah, it was Gina. My own fuckin’ secretary. How fucked up is that? She was there when I came to, all strapped down to this fuckin’ bed like some kind of a fuckin’ invalid, with this fuckin’ blowjob machine strapped to my fuckin’ dick. Turns out she liked the taste of my dick, but she thought she was too goddamned good to be my fuckin’ secretary for the rest of her life. So she talked with all them movie stars I was screwing—turned out none of them liked having to wait until I felt like calling ‘em up to get a taste of me—and they got together, and they bought this little place outside of town for me, and then they got someone to build this little machine. So I’m stuck here for the rest of my goddamn life, getting blowjobs from a fuckin’ IBM—whirrrrr gnnnuh! ...every few minutes and not even a fuckin’ TV to watch. And all because of your fuckin’ wishes. So yeah, I got some big fuckin’ issues, Mister Genie. So what are you gonna do about it?
Mikal had stood perfectly still while Leo told his story, not even blinking. (In actual fact, his heart wasn’t beating either, but Leo didn’t notice that.) He’d interrupted with a few questions, but it wasn’t until Leo asked his question that he became animated again.
“Well, it’s obvious that this didn’t work out as planned, Leo. However, I really don’t see how it’s my fault.”
“Whaddya fucking mean, you don’t see how this was your fucking fault? These were your fucking wishes!”
“No, Leo. They were your, um, ‘fucking wishes’. Both figuratively and literally. You wished for addictive semen, the capacity for unlimited male orgasms, and a box of Cuban cigars that was never empty.” He paused. “How did that one work out for you, by the way?”
“I don’t fucking know!” Leo shouted. “I never get to smoke ‘em any-fucking-more because I’m stuck in this fucking room twenty-fucking-four hours a fucking day!”
Mikal held up his hands. “Now, Leo. Anger doesn’t help, here. And I don’t actually think ‘any-fucking-more’ is gramatically correct. I just wanted to point out that you specified that the semen be addictive, and it performed exactly as specified. I’m not responsible if you didn’t think about what addicts could be like when they got desperate.”
“So you’re not gonna do anything?” Leo’s voice was suddenly pleading. “You’re just gonna leave me here?”
“Oh, I can do something. I can rescind the wishes... that’s what a follow-up call is for, Leo. To make sure that you’re not stuck with unwanted wishes. I just wanted to make it clear before I did so that no replacement wishes would be granted.”
“You can do that? You can just undo it all?”
Mikal smiled faintly. “Of course. What kind of a djinn would I be if I couldn’t? All you have to do is say the word...”
“Yeah. Yeah, OK, I say the fucking word, man. Just take it all back.”
“With pleasure.” Mikal snapped his fingers and vanished... and nothing else happened. There was still the bed, still Leo strapped down, and still the machine. Leo shouted, “Hey! Hey, come back! It didn’t work! It—whirrrrrr gnnnnuh!” He looked down at the machine with the expression of someone who has just realized something horrible. “Oh, fuck me...” he said, realizing even as the words escaped his lips that it was a prophecy...
whirrrr gnnnuh! whirrrr aaaungh! whirrrrrr aaaaaa! whirrr whirrr whirr whir