Ascension
It had to be a coincidence. It couldn’t be her.
No, of course it wasn’t. Her Goddess was dead. She had accepted that a long time ago. And even if she were alive, why would she be here? Sabina could only laugh at herself. A moment of wishful thinking, that’s all it was.
The line shuffled forward, and the woman who looked so strikingly like her Goddess shuffled with it. Such a stupid thought. Here, of all the places she could be? Some town in the middle of nowhere, queueing up to eat junk food? Such a thing was beneath her Goddess, Sabina knew that. She should flog herself for even thinking it. These places were only for miserable humans and lowly servants with no-one to serve.
The woman would glance back occasionally, and Sabina would see her face. She looked uncomfortable, rather nervous—her Goddess would never act like that, of course. Sabina punched herself in the arm. Stupid, stupid thoughts. But she couldn’t help it. The resemblance was uncanny. Her hazel eyes, her flawless dark skin, her dark curled hair cascading so perfectly down onto on her sculpted face, she was the Goddess’s spitting image. Her tense, panicked expression was merely a small blemish that did nothing to hide her divine beauty, like a speck of dirt on a statue that could so easily be wiped away.
Even if it wasn’t her, it made no sense. A woman who looked like this couldn’t just be here, queueing like a normal person. She deserved more than this. Sabina wanted to scream, how could none of the humans here see it? They should be at her feet grovelling, begging her to let them take her away from here, emptying their wallets to buy her the finest meal in town. And if fast food really were what she desired, she had no business standing in line. She should be ushered straight to the counter and given everything she wanted, for free. Sabina seethed as she stared at the gormless teenager at the till taking his sweet time with every customer. Slowly prodding at each key on the register like there was no hurry at all. That bungling wretch, didn’t he know there was a Goddess in line?
Sabina punched herself again. She had to stop. She was insulting the memory of her Goddess with these unjust comparisons. It was merely another human, nothing more. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. All she had to do was distract herself until the woman left. Soon she would forget she had ever saw her, and life would continue as normal.
She sighed a remorseful sigh. What even was her life, now that her Goddess was gone? Those years of servitude were the best she’d ever known. She had a purpose once. Now she had nothing. Sure, she could disguise herself amongst the humans well enough. As far as any onlookers were concerned she was one of them. Just surviving had been her biggest worry, for a while. But what was she living for? Every day the same, dragging herself through her shitty job just to go home and while away the hours until she could sleep. Toiling away for her boss, some unworthy mortal she cared nothing for. The line moved once more and Sabina shuffled forward with it. This meal was supposed to be her treat, and yet she had found a way to ruin it. Being reminded of her Goddess like this had only made a miserable day worse. She dug her fingernails into her arm as she suppressed the urge to take one more look. It was so easy to imagine her turning around, leaving the queue and grabbing her by the arm. She’d lead her away from this place and take her back to her temple, and all Sabina would have to do is serve her again, from now until eternity…
“Sorry…”
A half mumbled apology roused Sabina from her daydream. It was her. She’d nudged Sabina with her tray ever so slightly, so lightly that she hadn’t even felt it. But the woman looked distraught, even more panicked than before. Sabina opened her mouth to say something but she had already taken off, mumbling apologies as she excused herself. The line moved forward and Sabina had to move with it, whisking her away out of sight. Her fingernails dug into her hands so hard her palms were starting to bleed. She even sounded like her Goddess! Despite all her sheepishness, despite her ignoble… submissiveness, that woman was her Goddess made flesh. Sabina’s temples were throbbing, her breath uneasy. It was blasphemy. A mortal couldn’t just look like that and… act in that way. It was absolutely unthinkable, why on earth would she apologise for such a small thing? She should be be proud, she should dominant!
Instinctively Sabina’s hand reached for her own throat. “Heretic”, she whispered under her breath. She clutched her neck until she choked. It was just a mortal. She had no right comparing her to her Goddess. This behaviour was sinful, and it had to stop. No, she wouldn’t think about her anymore. She would take her food and go and never see her again, so that these blasphemous thoughts could stop forever.
It was her turn to order her food now. Staring at the cashier’s face helped keep her mind away from that woman. Mortals were so graceless, so ugly. None could ever compare to her Goddess. She smiled. Yes, of course, how could she have been so foolish? There was nothing deserving of worship to be found in this place. A momentary lapse in judgement. Wordlessly she accepted her order to go and marched towards the door. She would eat her meal outside away from any unfortunate distractions.
The clattering of a tray falling to the floor pulled her gaze momentarily away from the exit. It was nothing of importance, merely some clumsy fool too incompetent to hold their own food. Sabina tried to laugh at herself, she was merely on edge. But as she tried to look back her eyes happened to rest on one particular table and of course, of course the woman was there.
She was sat on her own by the door. Sabina so desperately wanted to look away, but she couldn’t ignore what she had seen. Her Goddess was crying. It made no sense, her Goddess would never cry, there was no reason for it, she was perfect in every way and if she were ever wronged or made upset by anyone Sabina would happily lay down her life to-
She swore and dug her fingernails deep into the soft flesh on her arm but it was to no avail; she couldn’t stop herself from sitting down with her. Just for a few seconds, that was all. She would cheer her up and in this mortal’s face she would see her Goddess’ smile, and then she would leave satisfied and forget all about it. She could talk to a mortal! They were simple creatures. It wouldn’t take much to make one happy.
“Hi!” said Sabina, casually placing her order on the table as she adjusted herself in her seat. The mortal woman flinched as she spoke, making eye contact for one brief moment before pulling her tray closer and staring back at her meal. There were still tears in her eyes.
Sabina’s heart thumped in her chest. Seeing the visage of her Goddess like this was making her sick. Had she displeased her? Back in her days of servitude she sometimes made mistakes, but she was always punished for them. This woman just looked scared of her. She had to fix this. If she left her like this she would never forgive herself, this horrible sight would remain her nightmares forever.
“Please don’t cry” Sabina said, trying her best to smile. The woman just stared back at her, her eyes still raw, before looking back down again. She didn’t even open her mouth. Sabina gritted her teeth and punched herself in the arm again. How could she fix this if she wouldn’t even talk to her? Her Goddess was never afraid to hide anything from anyone. Sabina couldn’t understand how someone like this could ever so timid, so miserable. If she could just tell her how beautiful she was, how she was the very image of the most perfect most amazing woman to have ever existed, surely she would realise she had no reason to be upset.
“You shouldn’t cry. Please.” Sabina pleaded, “There’s no need for it, you shouldn’t be upset, why are you upset” Immediately she regretted her own tactlessness. The mortal woman still wasn’t saying anything. She only looked more and more afraid, backing into her chair and glancing at the exit. Sabina kicked herself under the table. This shouldn’t be difficult, how was this so difficult? She couldn’t do anything but embarrass herself like this. That face was burning into her mind, those horrible tears marring the perfect profile of her Goddess, it made it impossible to think. “Please” she tried once more, desperation in her voice. “You’re beautiful, you’re perfect, do you not understand? How can you be upset?”
There was a pause. The mortal woman sniffled and looked up at her. “Are… are you making fun of me?” she finally answered back.
“What? No, no, I…” Sabina panicked, trying to find the words. To hear her Goddess’s voice like that, so strained with tears… She wished the woman would just hit her, slap her square across the face. It’s what she deserved, for messing up so simple a task. “I only wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, you’re—”
“Leave me alone!” she screamed, her voice cracking through her tears. “Why are you making fun of me?! I’m not doing anything wrong, why can’t people just… why can’t you leave me alone!”
Clumsy with frustration, she grabbed her tray and got up to leave. Sabina’s mind raced, her chest like a vice. This couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t, she had to fix this somehow, she had to...
“No!” Sabina yelled, standing up and grabbing her by the wrist. “My Goddess, you can’t go, you can’t…”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a second. Just long enough. Sabina knew she shouldn’t do this. Using her powers in the open like this wasn’t allowed and if she had ever tried to control her Goddess this way she would have paid dearly. But this was serious. She had no other option. Slowly, the woman’s gaze locked to hers, Sabina lowered her back into her seat. She sat down with her, the trance remaining unbroken across the table. Sabina breathed deeply as her composure returned.
“I’m sorry, my Goddess, but you’re not well. You are not yourself...” Sabina smiled once more and gently held her hand. “It’s okay. I will help you through this. I, your humble servant, will do everything in my power to make this right.”
The woman smiled back. Her eyes were still puffy, her face stained with tears, but the grace of her Goddess was more evident than ever. Sabina clutched her hand tighter with joy, almost squeezing it. She knew in the back of her mind that this wasn’t her Goddess, but surely there was no harm...
“That’s right. It’s okay. Everything is okay. You are safe here.” Sabina dulled the intensity of her control, allowing the woman her mind back. “Now please, tell me what troubles you so that I may fix it.”
“Okay”, the woman sniffled, her throat still raw from crying. “I… I get really nervous when there’s people around. It’s not that bad sometimes but when I walked in here it was like everybody was staring at me and I just keep doing these stupid things...”
“There, there” Sabina replied, rubbing her hand soothingly. She didn’t understand humans and their bizarre struggles. Truthfully, this woman’s plight didn’t make sense to her either. But if it came to it there was nothing her hypnosis could not solve. It wouldn’t do to hear the voice of her Goddess dry and cracked with sorrow. “Was this because you bumped me with your tray earlier? That was entirely my fault, don’t you worry. I shouldn’t have been standing in your way...”
“No, it was more than that!”, the woman replied, “I keep screwing things up! I kept rehearsing my order in my head the whole time I was in line but then I got to the counter and I started panicking, and then I couldn’t look at the menu because there was someone in the way and they kept looking back because they thought I was staring at them and...” She paused, her words caught in her throat. “Ugh, this must all sound so stupid, I know…”
Sabina bit her lip. It did sound stupid. Mortals were so bizzare. She wanted to shush her, but even the thought of talking over her Goddess wasn’t something she would allow herself.
“None of this should even have been a big deal but no, I can’t even do a simple thing like a fucking… normal person!”, the woman continued. Sabrina stroked her hand again in a vain attempt to comfort her but the mortal woman’s composure only worsened, collapsing her head into her hands with one huge sob as she struggled to continue her rant.
“And do you know what the worst fucking thing is? The whole reason why I was crying is just because they didn’t give me a straw for my drink and I was too fucking pathetic to get one for myself! There were loud people in the way and oh no, I can’t even do an easy thing like ask someone to move! I have to throw a tantrum like some stupid fucking baby! And then you sit down next to me, just wanting help and I… I lash out at you...” The woman paused for breath, her words near unintelligible. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me. I don’t… I don’t deserve it.”
That was it. She couldn’t watch this any longer. In one quick motion, Sabina wrenched the woman’s hands away from her face, forcing her to look her in the eyes. Everything up until now she could take, but not this. It didn’t matter who this mortal was. She had the body of her Goddess. She had the voice of her Goddess. Regardless of circumstances, this woman was the representation of her Goddess on Earth. She would not disgrace her Goddess with this pathetic display, and she absolutely could not be allowed to commit such mortal sin as to claim the Goddess did not deserve whatever desired to have.
“Listen” Sabina said, her eyes glowing with power, her words absolute. “I do not understand why, I do not understand how, but you are the very image of my Goddess. So you will not say such things, because they are not true. You deserve my kindness. You deserve happiness. You will not talk yourself down as if you were in any way flawed. So please, please…” Sabina struggled to maintain her composure as she wracked her mind for the words to describe the perfect being she once worshipped. “Acknowledge your radiance, your beauty, your holiness… Be happy and be proud as you were meant to be. “
The woman blinked slowly as she exited her trance, Sabina’s words working their way into her psyche. Soon her previous indignation faded from her face entirely and her expression transformed into a calm, genuine smile.
“I’m sorry about that outburst” she started to say, the corners of her mouth contorting a little as she adjusted to her new thoughts. Briefly she paused to consider her words. “Actually no, no, I shouldn’t apologise. These things just happen!” Sabina watched cautiously as the mortal woman paused again to think. Then, to her surprise, she leaned over the table and hugged her.
“Thank you so much!” she cried, squeezing Sabina so hard she couldn’t move her own arms to hug her back. “I don’t know what you did but it worked! Thanks for letting me vent like that.” She leaned back in her chair and beamed at her. “I feel so much better, you’re so good at this!”
“Oh!” replied Sabina, her face bright red. No longer tainted with anxiety or hesitation, that voice sounded so cuttingly familiar… Suddenly she straightened up in her chair to answer her. “You needn’t thank me, I’m just doing my duty. But I am humbled by your thanks all the same.”
“Well, if you say so” she said, laughing off Sabina’s response. “Oh, but I never got your name! I’m Ellie, by the way.”
Sabina flinched at the mention of such a… mortal name. She knew the name of her Goddess, even if she would never utter it herself, and it was not ‘Ellie’. Of course this wasn’t her Goddess, but… She should just leave, she knew that. The deed had been done, remaining would only complicate her feelings further. But there had to be a reason this mortal woman looked and sounded the way she did. Coincidences on this scale did not just happen…
“I’m Sabina” she finally said, realising that she had been silent for some time. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“A pleasure to meet you too, haha!” Ellie replied, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously. “Sabina, that’s a pretty name... Forgive me for being forward, but I don’t suppose you’re doing anything later this evening...?”
“Am I… Hmm…”, Sabina pretended to think. She wasn’t doing anything. She never was. Without her Goddess her life was little but survival. Occasions like this were rare, and they barely brought her any joy. But she knew for her own good she couldn’t spend time with this woman, or else she might be led astray. Of course she would love to spend the rest of her days basking in the radiance of her Goddess, yet...
“I’m not sure” she lied, stalling for time. “What do you have in mind, exactly?” Perhaps she could find a polite excuse for refusal.
“Oh, you know, go see a movie, take a nice stroll somewhere… Go out and have a proper meal? You know…” Ellie caressed her hand and winked. “A date?”
“A date…” Sabina’s heart jumped. Her Goddess, she wanted… No, this was improper, this was unjust, she was not worthy of such an honour, she could never…
“Yeah! It could be fun! It’s the least I could do after you helped me out! Besides, a certain someone told me once that I was perfect and beautiful and wonderful… You’re pretty cute too!” Ellie giggled, leaning in closer. “Some part of me wonders why I didn’t ask you the moment I saw you!”
“Mhm” Sabina replied, digging her nails into her arm, curling her toes, doing anything to resist her own impudent thoughts, “it is true. You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are wonderful…” No no no, what had she done? How had this happened? It was her own fault that this woman had fallen in love with her. She had to undo this, erase Ellie’s memories, wipe away this blasphemous idea that she could even be worthy of being the Goddess’s partner, her equal...
And then what? Just leave, pretend this never happened? For the first time in years, no, centuries, Sabina had felt the smallest twinge of purpose. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to be with her Goddess, from now until forever. But not like this. She couldn’t. Unless…
Of course. There was another solution. She had been right all this time, coincidences on this scale did not happen. There was no way a mortal would imitate such divine perfection merely by chance. Yes, of course, the truth was right before her eyes! Her Goddess was born again. And Sabina, her faithful, dutiful servant had kept herself alive all these years so that she may remind her Goddess of who she was. She would serve Ellie, this new incarnation of her Goddess. And she would be happy.
“Ellie,” Sabina finally answered, “Light of my life, my perfect Goddess… I am flattered, truly. What you propose is the highest honour I could ever hope to receive. But you must know that I am not worthy.”
“Umm” said Ellie, suddenly a little uncomfortable. “It’s okay, you really don’t—”
Sabina ignored her, grabbing both of her arms and looking her straight in the eyes. “You need not endure this indignity much longer, my Goddess. I will tell you who you are, so that you may reclaim your rightful place in this world!”
“Wait, I—” Ellie tried to protest, but her words were lost as Sabina’s eyes once took ahold of her mind. Sabina kept her in position, holding her in place by the wrists. Slowly, carefully, she preached the glory of the Goddess she had once known.
“My Goddess, my perfect Goddess, please hear me. This mortal life you think you lead, these… delusions of mundanity you have been saddled with, you must forget them. You are no mere human, Ellie. You are a Goddess. You are my Goddess. I, Sabina, am but your humble servant, living here on this Earth only so that I may be of use to you. This place, this… junk food hell hole, it is beneath you. These gormless, graceless mortals all around you, they are beneath you! We are all beneath you, my Goddess. You, the most perfect, most beautiful, most wonderful woman in the world, exist above all things. You will not tolerate the indignation of your ‘mortal’ life any longer. You must reclaim your rightful position in the world, live as the Goddess you are… I am once again ready to serve, my Goddess. Use me however you see fit.“
Sabina let go of Ellie’s wrists and released her from her trance one last time. She fell back into her seat, the intensity of her magic having sapped her strength. With apprehension, Sabina watched her intently as Ellie processed her new identity. At first, she seemed confused, as if the world were unfamiliar. She stared at her hands, at the room around her, and Sabina across the table, still drowsy from her hypnosis. For a moment she was still until finally, it clicked. The dazed smile from her face faded and her posture corrected. The redness disappeared from her eyes. She looked at Sabina, not with fear, not with joy, but with something else, and at once Sabina knew her Goddess had returned to her.
“How dare you.”
The scorn in her Goddess’s eyes was the most welcome sight she had beheld in years. Oh, she knew what that look meant. Sabina bit her lip, trying her hardest not to smile. “...my Goddess?” she answered, as reverently as she could.
“Do not play dumb with me, Sabina. You sit with me, at my table, as if you were my equal?” Her Goddess looked straight through her, her tone one of disgust. “On the floor. Now.”
The Goddess pounded the table with her fist, and at once Sabina was on the floor, grovelling before her. People were probably staring. She could here whispers. She didn’t care, they were beneath her Goddess.
“And this. This… garbage. You would let me eat this?” The Goddess held up the half eaten remains of her burger, dangling it accusingly before Sabina’s eyes.
“M-my Goddess, I apologise, I would never serve this to you, it was what you were eating when I found you, I swear—”
“Did I ask for your excuses, Sabina? I do not want your pathetic apologies. I want this mistake corrected. Or has it been so long that you have forgotten what it means to serve?”
“Oh, no no no, no, my Goddess! I will fix this right away! Anything you desire of me, anything at all—”
“Good.” Her Goddess grabbed her by the collar, wrenching her upright. “I tire of mortals, Sabina. You will take me home, away from this miserable place. And I will have real food, worthy of a Goddess. I assume you are not so incompetent that you have forgotten how to cook?”
Sabina shook her head. “Oh no, no my Goddess! I promise you, I can make you whatever you wish for. I have all the ingredients at home, I can—”
“Excellent. I’m glad you’re still useful for something.” She dropped Sabina back to the floor, letting her scramble to pick herself back up. “And don’t you dare think that will be enough to redeem you, after all the years you have left me to suffer.” She grabbed Sabina by the shoulders as the door closed behind them both, pressing her against the wall of the restaurant. With one hand she held her by the chin and forced her to look up at her face. “You will pay dearly for this. Your Goddess demands her retribution. Once I have finished my meal, Sabina,” she licked her lips and grinned with sadistic pleasure, “You will know never to disappoint me again.”
“Yes, my Goddess.” Sabina nodded. “Of course.”
As they walked away, the Goddess gripping her servant firmly by the shoulder, Sabina allowed herself a little smile. It was true, she had made a terrible mistake. All these years, letting her perfect Goddess believe herself to be a mortal… How awful it must of been. She should be ashamed, and she was. Her Goddess would not be merciful. She would be beaten, humiliated, made to do all sorts until her Goddess was satisfied that she understood her place.
Sabina had to cover her mouth to hide her grin. Oh, how she had missed this!