The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

But I Don’t Really Want This, Chapter 23

Such a great day yesterday. The first time I wore a butt plug in public. I got so distracted by it, in a good way! Once I allowed myself to focus on the nice feelings, and once I figured out how to stimulate them further, it was so hard to stop. And then I was just useless to the world. My owner had to take care of everything for me. But it felt so good to be taken care of like that, to have everything looked after, to know that I didn’t have to worry. Mmmmm :D

I’ve ordered a new pair of ‘stripper heels’, that’s what my owner calls them. Too tall, garish heels. I have one pair that he got for me as a present over a year ago. I wear them at home sometimes, for fun, I could never wear them outside, but my owner ordered me to get a new pair. He said I shouldn’t go more than a year without getting a new pair. I haven’t decided if that is advice or an order. I’m allowed to choose in those cases. Even if I decide it is advise, it would still be fun advise to follow. :D

The link to the shoes on the shop website is above. They’re so hideous but so much fun. Clear plastic platforms, fake white fur trim with glitter. The pinnacle of cheap artificiality. Can’t wait to walk around in these for him.

More shopping! We were watching television and some actress was on the red carpet wearing a dress which was open at the front almost to her belly button. He said that it would be fun to take me to a fancy restaurant while I was dressed like that. We laughed, but then we went online and started looking for one. So the dress is linked. Not as fancy as a red carpet dress, but still cute :) Obviously I couldn’t wear a bra with this, so I hope I don’t pop out. ;)

Kind of cool that he gets to dress me like a doll.

We were out in a restaurant again last night. I said before that I had figured out how to stimulate some nice feelings from my butt plug. My owner would sometimes order me not to do that so that we could have a nice conversation, but others times order me to do it, usually when he saw the waiter coming towards us. The waiter must have thought I was a complete idiot! We laughed so much about it afterwards in the bar.

And we actually got as far as a bar afterwards! And then to a club. It was fun to dance around for a change, to let myself go. And it was a lot of fun to sit on my owner’s lap there, to know that he could feel my plug on his crotch. Then I realised that the motion that stimulates me also stimulates him.

We just had sushi. You know what that means :p The money was on the kitchen floor and, wearing only my old pink stripper shoes (the new ones haven’t arrived yet) and plug, I had to bend over and pick up the money, one paper note at a time.

Pity that it was this one particular guy though. He is my least favourite. The other regular guys all enjoy the show, but also play along and are nice too. He isn’t nice. He enjoys the show, but he isn’t nice. I don’t think he likes me. He likes looking, but he doesn’t like me at all.

9 days of mostly wearing a butt plug in my owner’s presence and I’m getting used to it. It’s much easier for me to put in now, mainly just because I am used to the routine. Before this started, inserting it was always a delicate operation. Messy too. Lube, and sometimes worse, everywhere. Not any more though, and when I wear it for extended periods, like on the weekends, I am used to re-lubing. I carry all of the necessary paraphernalia around with me when we leave the house. I even did it in the bar last Friday. It’s annoying that I have to do it, but I am getting used to it. I’m becoming a real pro.

I don’t sleep with it in (I would need to re-lube in the middle of the night), and on mornings before work there is no point in putting it in, so I spend that period mute, with my head down, following any directions I am given. (Though my owner is usually just interested in getting to work too, so there aren’t much orders to follow). Very strange experience.

At times I do enjoy the silence. Particularly post anal sex, when I am not ready to plug myself back in. I can just lie there and appreciate the warm feelings of satisfaction, and really get lost in it. Then when I have recovered (maybe after a nap), there is no rush to put the plug in again. I can just potter around the apartment or read or watch television or do things for my owner (whether directed to or not). During these times I really get to focus on the moment, or on my feelings or on my owner’s without worrying about questions or whether something is correct. There is no point worrying because I can’t ask about it anyway. Just enjoy it.

Having to keep my head down, not making eye contact, I haven’t made my mind up about that. It definitely takes away from your confidence which by itself I don’t like at all. But I do enjoy the feeling of subservience to his power, and it certainly promotes that.

Anyway, this is the second Monday in work after a Sunday when I was mostly plugged in. I noticed this feeling last Monday, but couldn’t classify it. This time I knew what it was. I just felt so empty! When I arrived home my owner was already there. I couldn’t say anything to him, so I just placed the lube on the table, took off my skirt and panties and then bent over and waited. I didn’t have to wait long. I had been fantasising about it all day.

Weird that I now fantasize about anal sex, but I’m feeling very, very satisfied right now. I love it. :smiling-face-with-heart-eyes: Pity I can’t cum from it, but I don’t cum from vaginal sex either without clitoral stimulation. :woman-shrugging:

Its so fun to be plugged up when out and about with my owner. Knowing that the people we talk to have NO IDEA! And its cool to be aroused in public. It would be a turn on by itself if I wasn’t already turned on! I think there may even be the beginnings of a very nice feedback loop.

When people are interacting with me and I am like this, I know that I do not come across well. I know that I seem ditsy and distracted and I know that some people think I am stupid. And I know that none of this is a good thing. But, I can’t explain it, I kind of think it is sexy. Right now at whatever point in my life I am at, it is fun and I am enjoying it. I have no intention in trying to act this way around others without a reason, but if I have an actual reason, then I kind of like it.

My owner has really learned to take charge for me in these situations. He answers questions directed at me, worries about money, he even picked and ordered my meal for me once. This is always such a relief and it just makes me feel so good knowing that I don’t have to do these things. It makes me feel somehow girly, even though I do feel like a girl always (I AM A GIRL! :woman-raising-hand:). I just feel even more girly when he makes the decisions for me. Yeah! :D

And, on top of that, I think he is just so sexy when he takes charge, when he makes the decisions, when he frees me from having to worry about any of it. Sucking cock isn’t something I usually think about, but when he acts that way, I usually start thinking about how dangerously unmoist I have allowed his cock to get. ;)

Something interesting is happening tomorrow when we meet after work. I don’t know where yet, but he has told me NOT to bring my butt plug! That means I won’t be able to talk! He also told me to wear some heels and a blouse and a skirt to work tomorrow, preferably not too loose, and to bring a push up bra (though I don’t have to wear that to work, thank god!)

I know you are reading, what are you planning? I do look forward to these events. Still apprehensive of course, but I always end up loving them.

My ass belongs to you.