But I Don’t Really Want This, Chapter 24
She saw him approaching and then looked down, as per the rules, and waited. He stepped towards her, putting one hand on her shoulder and kissing her forehead.
‘I want to get some food, watch a game and then go to a club’, he said. ‘That’s what I want to do. You have one task for the evening, to be a pair of tits. Understood?’
The brusqueness of his delivery sent a thrill rushing through her. Yes, the ass hole boyfriend. Always a pleasure. A pair of tits? Fun. She nodded, still looking down.
‘Do you like being a pair of tits?’
She was smiling now. An interesting twist on her usual way of thinking about her breasts, her tits she corrected herself. She loved them and they were a part of her. To think of herself ‘as’ them. That was funny. She nodded again.
‘This way’, he said, placing a hand on her waist and leading her away. She put her hand around his waist, then slid it down into the back pocket of his slacks. She gave his ass a squeeze of approval.
She enjoyed walking in the city at this time on an early Friday evening, seeing people leaving work and heading to bars and restaurants which would soon be getting busy.
They turned a corner and one establishment immediately caught her eye. Not in a good way. No way, she thought, a breastaurant? She laughed inwardly and squeezed his butt again.
‘I have a table booked’, he said. ‘When we go in, I will sort that out, you can go to the bathroom and put the push-up bra on. And open your blouse up a bit as well. I want to see your fucking tits when I’m not looking at the TV’.
She squeezed again. Mmmm, yes please, objectify me please. Look at my tits Papa! She bit her lip. Papa? Where had that come from?
They entered, she didn’t recognise the brand, but it looked like some Hooters rip off. Different color scheme, but same idea. I suppose you can’t copy-write a bar where young women with low cut tops serve food, she said to herself. At least they had tried for a vaguely cowboy motif.
Will exchanged hellos with one of the waitresses and enquired about the booked table while Nicole went off to find the bathroom.
The bathroom was clean, spacious and empty. Definitely doesn’t get as much action as the other bathroom, she mused. She went into a stall and changed her bra, then went out again to look at herself in the mirror. At work she had only had the very top button at the collar undone. She undid the next button, but the buttons were quite closely spaced, so she had to undo the next one too in order to obey his command.
She looked at her breasts and smiled. Tits, tits, tits, she thought to herself. Then she checked out her profile for a bit before turning face on again. She rummaged through her bag on the counter and found some make-up. She only did her face subtly for work, but now for socializing she wanted more. She wasn’t obeying an order, she just wanted to.
She stepped back into the restaurant a few minutes later and realised that she didn’t know where the table was. The restaurant was big. There were four large dining areas, each with a different feel; standard restaurant, lounge, sports bar and an outside area. A huge rectangular bar connected the four dining areas, each of which had a whole side taken up by one of the sides of the bar. By following the bar she would be able to walk through each of the different bar areas. She could choose to go left or right. Either way would eventually take her to Will, but which way would be quicker?
She chose to turn right and started walking. The place was already quite busy, not full yet, but getting there. Her heels clicked loudly on the wooden floors, loud enough to be audible above the music and talking. They announced her arrival as she entered each of the dining areas, and proclaimed her progress as she walked through them. Guys would turn to look. She could feel their eyes. Then she realized that with each step her breasts were bouncing. Not much, but she could feel it, and maybe they could see it.
She finally found him in the last dining area, if only she had chosen to go left!
She sat down and looked at the table. There was a large beer and a glass of water on the table. The beer had already been drunk from.
‘I got you a drink’, he said, half interested, his eyes directed to whatever sports event was on the TV behind her. Only a wall, some diners and the bar were in her line of sight. He took another swig of his beer.
He seemed to notice her appearance for the first time. ‘Good job with the make-up. I prefer it when you try to be pretty.’
I wish that didn’t feel so good, she thought. She knew she was beautiful and she knew Will knew. But she enjoyed the degradation, and they both knew it.
‘Pink lipstick?’ he realised. ‘Not bad. It’s good that you’re at least trying to keep me interested.’
Hilarious, she thought sarcastically, while still finding it actually funny. So that’s tonight’s game, that’s your character. She wished she could talk, could join in, see how far they could coth take the joke together, but knew also that being mute was part of the game.
She realised that there were no menus on the table, something that she could have used as a distraction, to give her something to do. She saw one on the bar and started to stand to get it, but he seemed to know her intentions. ‘Already ordered babe’, he said, leaning back in his chair, arms folded, eyes not leaving the screen.
‘Wait, did you walk the long way around from the bathroom?’ he asked rhetorically, looking at her now. ‘Make sure that you use the long way around the next time you go. We want everyone to see you now, don’t we? Make sure you finish that water by the time the entrées arrive. And I hear service is fast here’.
She decided to make a start. She drank half the water. She had a view of where the food would arrive from, so when she saw it coming she could drink the rest.
So where was the short way to the bathroom, she wondered. She turned around and saw the passageway. She recognised the tiles on its floor as those of the corridor outside the bathrooms. The short way was only about 10 or 15 meters.
She looked around the room some more. Was she the only female patron? No. There was a large work party along the wall at one end of the room. Over a dozen people. 3 of them women. She recognised the bosses, the ones whose clothes were a bit more expensive and business like, the ones who were laughing louder, the big-swinging-dick types. They chose this venue. Thank God her bosses weren’t like that. Some of her co-workers certainly, but not the bosses. Or at least they kept it out of work, she hypothesized.
She looked at the waitresses. There were three working this room. Cowboy boots, clear, but shimmering tights, cut-offs and a tight, stretchy, low-cut t-shirt. One of the girls was wearing non-standard-issue boots and cut-offs, brought from home. A higher heel and more thigh. Get those tips girl, Nicole mentally encouraged her. Then it occurred to her...
Hang on, I’m showing more boobs then any of these girls!
The waitress was coming she realised. She took the glass and quickly finished it, placing the empty glass on the table as the food landed. She closed her eyes and covered her mouth while suppressing a burp.
‘Another water’, she heard Will say, her eyes still closed.
She opened her eyes again and looked at the food. A small salad. Dry. Some cut up bell peppers, tomato, cucumber and lettuce. Pathetic! He was already on his second onion ring.
‘You need to watch that figure if you want to keep me’. Eyes not straying from the TV.
She smiled, still looking downwards of course. You funny fucker, she laughed inwardly to herself. Real turn on though. She squirmed a bit. Because it felt good and because she wanted him to notice it.
They finished up and the waitress took the plates away, Will ordering himself another beer and a shot of tequila as she did so. They arrived and he pushed the tequila over to her.
She looked at the tequila. The sensible part of her was telling her to sip at it, but she really wanted a drink, really wanted to start sating that Friday evening buzz. She picked it up and threw it down her throat. Then she placed the glass upside down on the table. It made a satisfyingly loud clink.
She would probably have to go to the toilet soon though. She hadn’t actually used the toilet the last time, and the salad had been useless in soaking up the water.
Klick-klack-bouncy-tits, she thought to herself and smiled. She realised she was looking forward to it. Exhibitionism didn’t happen much outside of ordering sushi. Almost never in public, but a bit of bouncing cleavage, well that was—at least to some degree—socially acceptable. She could allow herself that guilty pleasure on this one occasion. She took a sip of her second water.
Will was still engrossed in the game, still ignoring her, still playing the role of the inattentive, selfish boyfriend which she knew he wasn’t. Which she was glad that he wasn’t. But you can definitely pretend sometimes, she thought to herself, smiling. It was hard to keep the trace of the smile from her lips she realised. The tequila had had an effect.
She realised that there was a mirror at the far end of the room and she could see herself in it when she looked past him. I am hot she thought happily. And I have rocking tits. She found herself wanting to pout and pose for herself in it. Too ridiculous in this full restaurant. I can do it in the bathroom. She smiled again at the thought.
She took another sip of water. Almost time to go. It occurred to her that—according to the rules—she wouldn’t have to keep her head down when she left this dining area and was no longer in Will’s presence. She thought of the character she had played when buying lingerie. That woman would have strode with confidence. And so will I. Another smile to herself.
It was time. She stood up and started her journey. As soon as she was in the next dining area, she lifted her head to enjoy the feeling of confidence, of power. Klick-klack-bouncy-tits. She decided to allow the trace of a smile at the edge of her lips to remain, to betray her confidence (or even my smugness?) further. She kept her eyes ahead, not looking at anyone, but feeling their eyes on her. Sensing them turn as her footsteps announced her arrival into each subsequent dining area. Klick-klack-bouncy-tits. I can’t wait for him to fuck me. Fuck this pussy hard. They all wish they could fuck me. She was finding it harder now to keep the smile minimal.
She made it to the bathroom area. As she was about to enter the corridor she noticed that the three girls serving in her dining area were all standing there at the service area of the bar, waiting for drinks orders to be filled. Shit, she thought. They fucking know I chose the long way!
This is just for tonight, she reassured herself in the bathroom. And it’s fun.
When she left the stall there was another woman examining herself in the bathroom mirror. Fuck! No me-time for Nicole! That mirror was meant to be mine bitch.
The woman looked up as Nicole approached the sinks. They nodded at each other in acknowledgement of each other’s presence.
When she left the bathroom only one of the waitresses was still there, the waitress serving her table. They smiled at each other, politely, friendly, and then Nicole started off on the long way around again. Klick-klack-bouncy-tits.
She arrived back in her dining area, dropping her head slightly again in line with the rules. The waitress was there already, putting their main courses on the table. How long did it take her to walk here? 5 seconds? How long did it take me? 30 seconds? 45? Will was thanking her. She smiled weakly at Nicole who demurely took her seat, she kept her gaze directed down at the food.
‘Would you like anything else’, she was asked.
She was about to raise her head just enough to make eye contact and shake her head. Then Will said, without directing his gaze from the game, ‘No, she’s fine’. Oooh, that feels good. Don’t even ask my opinion. ‘Wait, she’ll have a tequila’.
The waitress hadn’t been expecting that, that kind of answer, from that source. She kept looking at Nicole, nervous, unsure if Will’s answer was acceptable.
He said a tequila bitch. Nicole looked up briefly at her, smiling, and signified agreement with a quick nod. Then she looked back down.
She found herself wishing that she was wearing her butt plug. Not so she could talk, but so she could surreptitiously play with it.
The food looked more appealing this time. Arabiatta. Not what she would have ordered, but it looked good and smelled amazing. Actually, in a way it was a good thing that he had ordered for her. I get to try something good that I never would have thought to order for myself.
It wasn’t a small portion. And lots of parmesan and basil and some extra oil dribbled on top. She wouldn’t finish it she knew, but she also wouldn’t have to worry about falling over drunk too soon.
They ordered a cab after the meal. Will said the name of some club to the driver, she had never heard of it before. She was drunk now, not too drunk though, fun drunk. Being drunk and mute was weird. Not being able to follow the impulse of immediately talking about the latest thought that had crossed her mind. Very frustrating!
They got out of the cab at the club. They walked past the bouncers and into a dark room with neon lighting. She looked around. Oh my God! A strip club! She had never been in one before. Had he? Probably.
He led her to the bar, and they took two high chairs at it with a view of most of the establishment. Will ordered drinks from the barman, then turned to Nicole. ‘While you are here we can drop the no-butt-plug rules.’
She nodded but her attention was only half directed at him. She was already looking at the girls. This was interesting. There were two girls dancing on stage. There were other girls serving drinks. And there were other girls walking around, talking to the customers, or giving lap dances. She looked at their faces and hair and make-up and bodies and skimpy clothes.
That must feel so good she thought, to look good and know you look good and to just be able to show off and enjoy the attention. To know that the men were here to look at you. She knew that wasn’t the full story. Maybe some of the girls had chosen this as a temporary career option, but she was very sure that others were just here to make ends meet or that some had had dreams broken. But she didn’t want to think about that right now. That wasn’t fun.
One of the girls was walking in their direction. Wearing a biking top and short shorts. She’s beautiful, thought Nicole. She realised she was staring, her smile still on her lips, and that the girl was smiling at her, and approaching them. The barman gave them their drinks. Will only noticed the girl as she leaned against the bar, welcoming them to the club, asking them to let her know if they wanted some extra company.
‘We’re OK right now’, he said, ‘but maybe later?’
‘OK, sure of course’, she smiled, pushing herself away from the bar. Nicole was still smiling at the girl. The girl waved goodbye at her and then Nicole waved back. She looked so nice! And her smile! Nicole leaned in towards Will, ‘she is so beautiful.’
Will nodded. ‘Go to the bathroom’, he said, ‘undo the next button on your blouse. If you want to compete with these girls for my attention, you’re going to have to.’ She laughed and leaned against him, resting her forehead briefly in the crook of his neck, both of her hands holding onto his shoulders. Love it! she thought. She laughed and squirmed and then obeyed.
As she came back out of the bathroom she saw the girl from the bar again. The girl looked at her newly revealed additional cleavage and gave her a nod of approval and then a wink and a smile. Nicole smiled back at her, loving the compliment.
She arrived back at the bar as Will was standing up. ‘We’ll go sit over there,’ he said, pointing to a raised empty booth with a view of the stage and most of the lounge.
They settled down and Nicole looked at the other girls again. After a few minutes Will asked her if she would like a lap dance.
‘I wouldn’t know what to do’, she said.
‘You don’t have to do anything, you just sit there’, he said. ‘Bitch’, he added for good measure. ‘Are you curious? Bitch.’
‘Go ask a girl for a dance, whichever one you want. Bring her back here. I’ll pay’.
Nicole smiled and went to look for the only girl that she had eyes for. She saw her talking to the barman and walked nervously towards them. The barman saw her and indicated her approach to the girl. She turned and smiled when she saw Nicole. Nicole wanted to dissolve in that smile.
‘Hi, what can I do for you’, the girl said, putting one hand on Nicole’s arm and giving her a gentle squeeze.
Nicole didn’t know if there was a correct way to ask so she just said it. ‘I was wondering if you could dance for me. I think your smile is so beautiful’.
‘Thank you’, the girl smiled wider. ‘I’d love to.’
‘Um, my boyfriend said he would pay.’
‘Would he like to watch too?’ she asked knowingly.
‘I would like him to see’, said Nicole, touching her own hair nervously.
The girl squeezed Nicole’s arm again and then took her by the hand and led her back to the booth. Nicole followed obediently.
Nicole had never ever been close to another woman in any kind of sexual situation. She wasn’t too attracted to women, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t think they were sexy or beautiful or nice to look at. Most of the dance passed her by in a daze, as she followed the girl’s smiling eyes and enjoyed the sensations of her writhing body against her own. She realised at some point that the smell of a woman and the softness of their skin were additional things to enjoy about them. Will had talked about a threesome once, had said that they would try it. She imagined herself and Will at home with this girl.
Then the dance was over.
And now she horny. Well, she had already been a bit horny when they had entered the club, but now she was much hornier. She didn’t know how to handle this situation. Didn’t know what to say. The girl was standing over Nicole now, looking down with kindness in her eyes. She stroked Nicole’s hair. The girl kissed her own fingertip and pressed it against Nicole’s forehead. Nicole smiled and squirmed and closed her eyes in embarrassment. ‘Thank you’, she said as she heard Will call the girl over to him.
The girl stood beside Will and bent over at the waist, supporting herself with one arm on the seat rest behind Will’s head. Her ear against his mouth, listening to his words. Nicole couldn’t hear. The girl winked at Nicole who squirmed again. The girl laughed, not unkindly, at Nicole’s reaction.
Will said something to the girl and she said something back. He gave her some cash and then asked another question. The girl smiled at him. She put her lips right against his ear to answer, but turned her eyes to Nicole, winking at her as she whispered in his ear. Can we take her home Nicole wondered.
Will laughed at whatever she said. He said something back to her and then she laughed even louder, standing up again now, the hand that had been on the seat rest, now resting on his shoulder, squeezing it, appearing to appreciate the powerful muscles beneath. She looked at Nicole and waggled her eyebrows. Nicole smiled back in smug acknowledgement of his physique, but wasn’t sure if she was the butt of the joke. She felt small and horny.
Let’s take her home please, she thought. Would she? Are we allowed to ask? Would that be insulting?
Will and the girl shared another joke. Then she gave Nicole—who was just about recovered from the dance—one last wave and returned to the bar. Will had a fresh beer and tequila in front of him. She hadn’t notice him order them, or their arrival. He gave her the tequila and she drank half of it and gave him the glass so he could put it back. How much had she drank now? Will put the glass down and then moved beside her. He kissed her once and she kissed him back. They made out for a few minutes. She wasn’t sure if it was allowed here, didn’t know the rules of these places, but it was quite dark, and she was enjoying it and didn’t want it to stop.
He pulled away and passed her the tequila. She finished it and again he took the glass and put it back on the table..
‘Will you get a dance’, she asked. Drunker now. On booze and sex. She had slurred a bit.
‘Her?’ Nicole asked hopefully.
‘No, someone else. I’ll show you, and then you can go and get her for me.’
He rested back in the seat beside her and they looked out at the rest of the club.
‘She’s at the other side, over there, the blonde girl with the white outfit.’
Nicole suppressed a gasp. ‘Should I get her now?’
‘No, only if you feel ready’.
‘I need a minute’, she smiled at him, squeezing his arm.
She looked back at the girl that Will had pointed to. She had noticed her already of course. Pretty, definitely, but certainly not as beautiful as her girl, or some of the others. Hair and make-up had been expertly done. She wore a tight white micro skirt and a far too small boob-tube-like bikini that seemed ready to burst as it held her breasts together. Significant amounts of round and fake cleavage and underboob spilled out of it.
She turned to him and they made out again. After a minute she broke it off. ‘I’m ready.’ She made her way across the club to the girl. The girl smiled at her as she approached.
‘My boyfriend would like to buy a dance from you and I would like to watch’. The girl nodded and this time Nicole took her by the hand and led her to Will, smiling at him as she brought him back his prize.
She sat in a different seat beside the table to watch them. Now this was interesting. Watching a girl with bigger boobs dance for her boyfriend. She watched him. He seemed almost paralysed, unable to move, his mouth dumbly open, as his eyes followed her breasts around. Fortunately they were in this booth, because his erection was obvious. She could see how the girl allowed herself to brush against it as she straddled him, how his eyes snapped shut each time, trying to control himself. She could see how it jerked when the girl allowed her heavy breasts to press against his body, against his face. That would be so much fun, she thought.
She looked at her tequila glass and remembered it was empty. Will still had most of his beer. She took a swig and enjoyed the rest of the show.
Afterwards, and after Will had recovered, he talked with the girl who was now sitting beside him. There was no laughing or suggestion or innuendo as there had been when he had talked to the other girl. The chemistry wasn’t as good it occurred to Nicole, or this girl just wasn’t as much fun to be around. His erection had subsided now, but Nicole remembered it. This girl’s personality isn’t important Nicole realised. Well, she had already known that during the dance. But if Will could have another dance from any of the girls here, would he choose this girl again? She looked at them talking. Mostly he was talking to her face, but he didn’t seem ashamed to look down at her chest. Probably, she realised.
Will gave the girl some money. It looked like a lot, much more than he had given the other girl.
She moved beside him as the girl left. They made out and, knowing that no one would see, she felt his crotch through his trousers. It responded. Mmmm, get that in me.
‘Can we go now?’ she asked, playing with him through his trousers.
He moved her hand away, taking a few breaths to steady himself. ‘Not yet, soon. She’s coming back in 10 minutes’.
Nicole laughed with her hand over her mouth. ‘I thought you gave her a lot of money, I did wonder if you would get another.’
‘I bought it for you. You seemed to enjoy your first one a lot’.
She raised her eyebrows, smiling, and then they made out again.
He broke off. ‘Open another button of your blouse’.
She did so. ‘It’s open to below my bra now,’ she observed. Surely this wasn’t allowed she thought. Admittedly many—no, all—of the girls were showing off far more than her, but that was their job. We’re leaving soon, she justified it to herself, and no one can see us. They had a good view of the rest of the club from here, but it was dark enough in their booth that it was hard for others to see them.
She gave her breasts a shake and smiled at him. ‘This can be practise for when I get that new dress’. He laughed and pulled her towards him again.
The girl came back and Will moved out of the way. The girl wasn’t smiling like the other girl had been. And if she had been, her smile would not have been as illuminating as the first girl’s, so it probably didn’t matter. Nicole found herself focused on the girl’s breasts instead. She realised that the girl didn’t need to smile. She knew people weren’t asking for her company because of her smile.
Nicole found herself getting lost in the sensations. This girl had the same soft skin, though she smelled different. Still good, though not as sweet. Nicole gasped at the firmness and heaviness of her breasts as they brushed or pushed or rested against her. Once again she was in a daze when it ended. The girl was still straddling her, but she had finished dancing.
‘You’re very beautiful’, the girl said.
‘Thank you’, Nicole said.
‘I love your breasts too, they were an amazing job’.
‘Thank you, I love how they turned out.’ She remembered how much of a thrill it was to shock people about the surgery, like the shop girl in the lingerie store, or the blow-job coach. ‘My boyfriend got them for me.’ Then she realised that this particular girl might be hard to shock.
‘He’s a boob man for sure’, laughed the girl and Nicole laughed too. ‘An ex of mine got me my first’, the girl continued, ‘but I got the second just for me’.
Nicole was looking at her breasts now. ‘Why did you decide to go bigger?’
‘Well’, the girl looked around at the club behind her, then back at Nicole, ‘I would be lying if I said there was no economic benefit to it, but mostly I did it for me, for how I knew they would make me feel. I always, always always feel sexy,’ she said with a wink. ‘I never ever feel boring.’
Nicole smiled up at her. ‘You are sexy,’ she confirmed for her. She looked down at the girls breasts again. ‘And they are sexy’.
The girl stood up to walk away. ‘I know,’ she smiled back.