Auld Lang Gyne
by Mudak
Stu knocked frantically on Darren’s door.
“Hang on! I’ll be right there!”
“Dude! You’ve got to check this out!”
Darren flung the door wide open and said, “I got that from your phone call ten minutes ago, buddy.”
Stu ran into Darren’s apartment. Once inside, he caught his breath and said, “Is your brother here?”
“Nope. Just me. Now would you tell me what this is all about?”
“I think you should watch this short video . . .”
“Was this . . .?”
“Shhh . . .”
Stu took out a small video camera and began replaying a recording of himself sitting at a desk. The two of them watched the video on the tiny screen of the camera.
“Did you make this video just now? Is that you calling me?” asked Darren.
“Yes. Now . . . Shhhh!”
“Darren! My main man!” Stu leaned over the phone and spoke, in a voice much louder than was actually necessary. “I think I’ve got something amazing here, but I need your help.”
“What is it?”
“I’m going to count down from ten. I want you to wait about five seconds and tell me to take off the hat. Can you do that?”
“What? Take off what hat?”
“You’ll see. Can you do that? I need your help here.”
“Um . . . Sure!”
Stu turns to face the camera, and says, quite clearly, “Party Hat Functionality Test One.”
Through the phone, the voice of Darren comes through the video recorder. “What was that you just said?”
“Nothing. Just do as I asked and we’ll be fine.” Stu reaches for something and his hand disappears out of the line of sight of the camera. When his hand comes back into view, he is holding a cone-shaped hat, which looks almost exactly like a hat from a party supply store. He lifts the hat dramatically over his head before bringing it down to a rest on his bushy, somewhat unkempt hair. “Well, here goes . . .”
Stu looks directly into the camera and begins to count down slowly from ten. With each successive number, his voice becomes quieter and quieter. After he says the number “one,” his face slackens and his eyes lose focus and look almost glassy.
Darren, who had been listening to the countdown, yells through the phone. “Take off the hat!”
Stu removes the hat and his expression returns to the one of excitement he had before he put the hat on. He yells, “Yes!!!”
“What?”
“I’ll be right over. You’ll see.”
“Wait! What’re you d—” Darren’s questions are cut off mid-sentence as Stu presses a button on the phone. Stu turns his attentions to the video camera and reaches up towards it. A moment later, the screen on the camera goes blank.
Darren handed the camcorder back to Stu and said, “So that’s what you’re so excited about?”
“Oh yeah! And you should be too . . .”
“What? Why?”
“Oh, because I’m pretty sure I would’ve done anything you asked me to do during those five seconds . . .”
“What? I don’t understand . . .”
“I really don’t remember finishing the countdown, much less you telling me to take the hat off. You saw the look on my face . . . The hat, coupled with a countdown to one, makes the wearer susceptible to all kinds of suggestions . . . Don’t tell me you can’t think of any, um . . . uses for this kind of technology . . .”
Darren smiled as he thought about this, nodding his head. “Do you think this’ll be ready in time for New Year’s Eve?”
“Oh, I should think so . . . I bet I could have as many as four ready . . .”
“I love it!”
A week later, Darren was finishing cleaning up his apartment for the party that would get underway within a couple of hours when he heard a knock on the door.
“I’ll be right there!”
He opened his door and smiled broadly. “Are the hats ready?” he asked Stu.
“Right here!” Stu opened a shopping bag. Darren bent over to look inside.
“Four in there?”
“Yup!”
“Is there something we can do to keep them separate from the other hats I’ve already got?”
“We can mark these.”
Darren retrieved a black marker and placed a small mark on top of each of the four hats in the bag.
Stu placed the four hats on a table near the door. “Any thoughts on who we want to give these to?”
“Well, I’d like Denise and Stacy, if that’s all right.” ?
“Fine with me. I’ll take Jenny and Cathy, then.”
Bruce got home with the hors d’oeuvres for the party. Darren helped him with the load and helped lay out the spread. Stu gave some of the unmarked party hats to each of his two friends. “People’re gonna get here soon!”
Sure enough, within ten minutes, the first knock on the door came.
“I’ll get it!” said Darren. He walked to the door and opened it wide. Jenny and Denise walked in. Darren tried to give each of them a kiss on the cheek.
Jenny pushed him away. “Please, Darren! You know the only reason why we’re here tonight is for your brother.”
“Well, he’s just setting up the spread right now. Can I at least give you your party hats?”
Denise sighed. “Sure.”
Darren quickly grabbed two of the marked hats and handed one to each of the girls.
Jenny grabbed the hat out of his hands and put it on. She turned to Denise and asked, “How do I look?”
“Like you’re ready for a party.”
“I am. Where’s the booze?”
Darren turned around and said, “What would you two like?”
Denise said, “D’you have any wine?”
Darren nodded. “No prob. Red or white?”
“Red, please.”
“Can do. What would you like, Jenny?”
“Amaretto sour?”
“Comin’ right up!”
Over the next few hours, more people came to the party and gradually filled the apartment, chatting and drinking, and generally having a good time.
Bruce clapped his hands loudly and yelled, “In five minutes, it’ll be next year! Let’s put on the Times Square ball!”
Everyone within earshot cheered as he changed the station.
Darren looked at Denise, who, he noted, was still wearing one of the marked hats. Pointing to the TV, he said, “Dick Clark just hasn’t been the same since he had that stroke a few years back, ya know?”
“Yeah . . .” Denise wasn’t paying complete attention to him, but that was something they both agreed on at least.
In short time, the shining crystal ball started to descend on the screen and the clock in the corner of the TV screen informed all of the party guests that eleven seconds remained until the new year.
Spontaneously, all of the party guests began to count down. The sound of the counting drowned out all other sounds in the room. “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!”
As most of the guests yelled “Happy new year!”, Denise, Jenny, Stacy, and Cathy simply lowered their hands and stared at the TV.
Bruce noticed the looks on the faces of the four girls and asked, “Is everything all right?”
Stu quickly said, “They’re fine. Girls, why don’t you come with me?”
In unison, all four of them responded, “Of course . . .” Their voices had a dreamy, otherworldly tone.
Stu led the girls into the kitchen of the apartment. Darren quickly followed.
Stu looked at two of the girls and said, “Stacy, Denise, the two of you are now the willing servants of Darren here. If Darren tells you that there’s something he needs or wants, or even if you overhear him talking about what he might need or want, and it’s within your power to provide it, you will do so without hesitation and without question. Do you understand?”
Denise nodded her head and Stacy said, “Yes . . .”
“Excellent.” Stu turned to the other two girls. “Jenny and Cathy, you are both now my willing servants. If there’s something I want or need, then you will do it as though it were the most natural thing to do in the world. Do you understand?”
Cathy and Jenny said, in near unison, “Yes.”
Stu looked at Darren. “I suppose we should test it out, huh?”
“Yup. Do you want to take off their hats first?”
“Yeah. All right, all four of you. Please take off your party hats.”
They all raised their hands and took the hats off of the top of their heads. Jenny saw that she was alone with Stu and Darren and quickly went back to the living room where the main party was going on. The other girls quickly followed.
Smiling broadly, Darren and Stu looked at each other, nodded, and went back to the living room as well.
They stopped walking safely away from all four of the girls, but close enough, at least, for Denise and Jenny to hear.
Stu let out a deep, audible sigh.
“Is everything all right, Stu?” asked Darren.
“Yeah, I guess. It . . . I was just thinking that it might be nice if I could get a nice blowjob right now, ya know? After all the work I’ve been doing—”
Jenny turned around when she heard this and smiled broadly. “I’d love to blow you, Stu . . .” She practically knocked a couple of people over to get to Stu’s pants. Kneeling down in front of him, she undid his pants and started sucking on his rapidly hardening cock.
Denise watched her friend’s action in horror and amazement. “Jenny! What’re you doing?”
Darren said, “Only what I wish you’d do with me . . .”
Without hesitation, Denise took her place in front of Darren’s crotch, pulled his pants down, and took his cock into her mouth, and began bobbing up and down on it.
While Stu and Darren were being pleased by the girls who, ten minutes ago, barely tolerated them, they looked at each other and smiled. “Excellent work, my friend,” said Darren as he gave Stu a high-five. He couldn’t wait to see what else those amazing hats could do . . .