The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Ed

An Exploration of Dreaming

by William Pratt

Chapter 7

“Remember when Tanya had, uh, normal sized breasts?” asked Ed. To Melissa, the question just came from out of the blue.

Weird question. Even more weird, the lab looks wrong. And where’s Tanya?

“No. Yes. Sort of,” Mel said, adjusting her blouse. “It’s all fuzzy, like a dream. Where’d Tanya go?”

“Exactly!” said Ed, bubbling with enthusiasm for some reason. “I changed them in a dream, but then she woke up before I could change them back.”

“And just what were you doing in her dreams?” She tugged on an ill-fitting bra strap. Huh. Got dressed too quickly.

“Trying to get into yours.”

“What?” Mel blinked, shocked at Ed’s bluntness and the fact that she couldn’t find the offending bra strap anymore—or the bra, for that matter. She’d been wearing it just a moment ago. “Where’d my … Oh. So we’re in a dream right now?”

“Only partly. You aren’t dreaming, Tanya is, but so far, everyone’s been the hero of their own dreams; she should be here somewhere. Either we’re not quite in her dream or she wants a little privacy. I don’t know how that works, every other time they’ve been right there when I entered.”

“Tanya’s dream,” Melissa said sarcastically. “And in her dreams I don’t wear a bra?”

“Huh?” Ed’s eyes tracked off her face and to her boobs. “How should I know?”

“You’re the one who knows about this stuff, apparently.” Braless, and with her shirt getting very tight, Mel knew that she was giving Ed quite a show. It felt weirdly sexy. The look in his eyes was also weirdly sexy. If we’re in a dream, I wonder if I can get another look at that gigantic … penis he had yesterday. It’s only fair I get something if I’m giving him a show.

Her shirt pulled free of her pants and looked down towards the sudden draft, but something, make that some things, were in the way. Oh no. My shirt’s not getting tighter …

“Ed! Stop that!” As her top pulled tight over her breasts, a quake ran through her and a pair extremely aroused, tingling nipples formed a taut line in the fabric between them. With a snap, a button cracked in half and the line broke, replaced by growing diamond-shaped gap between two remaining, increasingly stressed, buttons. The pleasurable full body twitch repeated itself and her mind began to swim.

She shook her head to clear it and something else Ed’d said sunk in. “And just what were you doing trying to get into my dreams?”

“Just wanted a little fun,” he said with a shrug, his eyes never leaving her swelling chest.

“Oh goodie!” squealed Melissa, jumping and clapping like a little girl. Her breasts dramatically heaved under her overfilled blouse as Newton’s first law had it’s way with them. She crushed the breasts together, posed to make them stand out, and giggled. “I like having fun, Eddie! Let’s fuck!”

“What?” spat Ed, his eyes snapping back into focus after being completely glazed over.

“You wanted a big-titted bimbo, right?” As if to punctuate, the top button launched off her straining blouse. “You’re trying to make me into a dream slut, right?”

“No!”

“Then why are my boobs getting bigger, Ed?”

“Sorry.”

Melissa snorted. “No you aren’t.”

“I liked them the size they were.”

She looked down at the ponderous melons jutting from her chest. “Really?” she asked, sarcastically. “Doesn’t look like it to me.”

“Really! I used your breasts as a model for my sis … another person.”

The armpits tore in her shirt and the rip travelled down to below her ribs before slowing down. “Your sister? That’s sick, Ed.”

“I didn’t touch her,” said Ed, raising his hands in an exaggerated gesture of denial. She just wanted help picking up this guy she liked, so I changed her a little. It’s like … makeup.”

“You can wash off makeup,” Mel said. To emphasize her point, she reached up to attempt cupping the still-expanding, gravity-defying orbs.“These—Hoooooomygawd!”

Her eyes crossed and she stood there slack of face for a moment. “Ed … I just about came! God! What did you do?” she complained. Or was it a complaint? As she felt up her huge boobs and enjoyed the rush of mind-fuzzing, blissful sensation, she knew it either wasn’t or wasn’t a very convincing one.

“That’s just my subconscious,” explained Ed. “It does stuff like that.”

Her building rage got lost, swept away under wave after wave of delight. She breathed heavily and her hips rolled on their own as something dangerously close to heated fornication put her body on the launching pad, but Mel managed to get a handle on her breast play. She couldn’t seem to get up the will let go or stop completely, however. “Use suh-some self control. Change them bah-hack, Eddie.”

“Ed. Spoil sport.” Unceremoniously, Melissa’s chest contacted in on itself, leaving only the tattered and torn blouse as proof that she’d looked like an inept basketball thief. Her hands, however, followed the receding bust as though reluctant to give up on their caressing.

“OK,” she said, pinching a swollen nipple. Her eyes crossed and her legs wilted. “OK. B-better. Now how about you turn the … sensitivity down a couple orders of magnitude?”

“Don’t you like it?” He looked genuinely confused. She was about to come right in front of him from playing with her fucking breasts and he had no clue.

“Duh! But I do need to do other things with my life than standing around masturbating my breasts. I—Ooooooo.” She swooned and relaxed, leaning up against an equipment rack to keep from falling over. “Mmmmmm. That felt niiiice.”

“Didn’t look it,” said a disappointed Ed.

“Trust me,” she said, letting her breath out like a whistle. “What, you expect more of a show? Girls only come screaming and thrashing in pornos, Ed.”

“Doesn’t have to be that way,” he protested.

“In your dreams, Ed.”

Maybe if she hadn’t been still a little numbed from the orgasm she would have noticed the grin. But she didn’t, so she tempted fate. “So … you can give a girl orgasmic basketballs for breasts. Thanks to Tanya, I already knew that. What else can you do?”

Ed floated off the ground and looked down on her. “Fly. Probably throw cars around, but I got over the Hulk years ago. Flying’s cool, though, wanna try it?”

“No! No way!”

“Why not?” he asked, holding out a hand. “It’s fun!”

“Because I hate it enough inside an airplane. I am not going to be your Lois Lane, Ed, sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like you anyway.”

“OK. Now were getting into dangerous territory. You said something about fixing things up but so far all you’ve done is ruin my shirt.”

“But if felt good, right?” Ed asked, floating around behind her.

Mel turned to face him, but had to keep turning to keep up. “Yeah, but you are not doing that again.”

“No, I guess not. I’ll do something better next time.”

“Don’t you dare!” Ed had made his way behind her and if she tried spinning any faster to keep up, she’d fall over, so she turned the other way. He wasn’t there.“Dammit! Stop doing that. You’re making me dizzy.”

“Does this make you dizzy, too?” His lips brushed against her neck and she didn’t quite get feel like she was losing her balance. Losing something, sure, but it was just her mind.

“Ed ….” She started to pivot in the other direction again, but the brush became a gentle kiss. It did make her a little dizzy. Her elbow shot back, trying to catch him, but it’s drive was stunted by the relaxing wave of euphoria accompanying a soft tickle.

“It’s just a dream, right? Just let go a little.” Fingers played up her stomach.

“Thanks, Ed.” She started turning. Best to nip this in the bud before he got out of hand. Even if it did feel good. There were things that needed to be worked out between them before … Before what? Relax dammit! Think of other things. What if he can read minds? Oh shit!

She squeezed her eyes shut as she realized that was exactly how he was hitting all of her hot spots. “But I already let go once today and that’s enough.”

“What about earlier with me and Tanya?”

“I was just relieved that I was still interested in guys. It’s really freaky to wake up one day as a lesbian. You are going to fix that, aren’t you, Ed? You’re going to fix that right now.”

“Easy. You sure?” he asked hovering behind her, whispering in her ear.

“You bet I’m sure! It’s great while we go at it but after—” She shuddered as a hand slipped under the ruins of her blouse. “Ed if you touch my breasts, I will kill you.”

“No breasts. Got it.” His hands gave a wide berth as they drifted to her shoulders. “No lesbian tendencies, either.”

“Well … leave me some, OK? I mean it wasn’t that bad. Just enough to let me choose who, when, and where. My choice and my terms, got it? Keep my options open, right?” She relaxed under Ed’s probing fingertips. “Mmmmm. Where’d you learn to give a massage, anyway?”

“From you. Where’d you learn?”

“Ex-boyfriend, I guess, back when I was in high school,” she replied, feeling anxiety trickle up his fingers and away. Sure, it’s Ed, but why not just enjoy it? It’s not like he’s doing anything this time. Anything bad, that is.

After a minute of silence, she smiled dreamily and allowed herself to rest against him. “This is way better, though.”

“This is the massage you dream about at night.”

“Are you reading my mind?” she asked, melting into him tension gone, tension growing. Her thoughts began to wander in interesting directions. Can you read this? Little lower. Ohhhhh yessss. Right there.

“Just little bits. Seeing what you like. How’s this?”

“Wha?” Her head lolled forward, dazed, and she could barely stand. She floated into a pleasant, cloudy half sleep. “Hmmmmmmmm. Woooonderful.”

Then Ed touched something sensitive and her soul sang. “Feeeeeeiii!” Her head snapped back, bashing his nose.

“Ow,” said Ed.

“Feels … fantastic!” she breathed, oblivious to Ed’s discomfort. “Felt fantastic! Oooooooh, Ed! Do that again! Please! Again and don’t stop this time!”

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!” She shook as he did something else, but it also set off sparks. The bizarre half-reality of the dream flew apart. Her head spun and all she could see was shimmery lights. They were nice, relaxing shimmery lights filled with flowers and other pretty things. Everything was nice; so nice. Almost like an orgasm, but without the jerks, twists, or the violent ending. It went on, building, taking her higher and higher as Ed’s hands teased their way off her shoulders and down her front, feeling better and better every inch of the way.

This is a massage? If this is a massage, what’s sex going to feel like when we get that far?

“Get that far? Wait! No! Sto-oh-oh-op!” she moaned, squirming as Ed skirted around her needy breasts. Bastard! What? They too small for you now? Massage them!

She forced herself to think rationally. She collected herself and bent her will to convincing Ed to at least sneak a squeeze. He’s always staring at them, so he does like them, he’s got to! with rational thought came other things. Memory, for one thing. Memory sucked because it reminded her of other things, like, We shouldn’t be doing this! Were here to fix Tanya. We’re here to ….

Oooooh! Ed! Stop! Fixing things. Here to fix things! Not—Oooooooooo! Feeeels so-ho-ho goooood!”

“It should. I amplified your ability to experience sexual pleasure by about ten times.”

“You what? Ask next time!” she shrieked, wanting to pull out of his arms and away, but needing to stay even more. Then Ed let go completely and she stood on the precipice of a long fall down into the horror of no more pleasure. “God dammit! Ed!”

“I stopped!”

“I noticed!” She shook, not violently, but more than a shiver. She stepped back, half wanting to curl up and die of embarrassment and loss, half wanting to dive right back in, and an illogical extra half wanting to kick Ed in the nuts. “Now stand away. Far, far away while I try to calm down. Ten Times! You stupid asshole!”

* * *

“Ten Times, Ed?” asked Melissa, her eyes clear again. She was still flushed and breathing a little too hard.

She’s fucking hot doesn’t even come close to describing it! Looking at her, still red faced and needy, Ed figured she wouldn’t notice if he made her nipples stand out a little more. The twin “poinks” as they pushed not-so-little tents in the wreckage of her blouse was almost audible. “I wanted to be able to tell the difference.”

“Ha! Well, I bet you did, even if I didn’t start screaming for you. I didn’t, did I?”

“No, but you moaned a lot this time. You could have broken my nose, you know.”

“Don’t you dare fix that nose. You deserved it. I mean, ten times? What were you thinking? Twice would have been more than enough.”

“I dunno. You really didn’t look like you enjoyed the first one all that much. How was it, though?”

“Worse than sex with Tanya. I could barely think! Asshole! Why couldn’t you have stopped with the massage? I liked the massage!”

Ed made note of that. She liked the massage. Still, “I just wanted you to enjoy it more.”

“Well, you got that wish. You might want to take a look at just how much enjoyment a human body can handle, because you were getting dangerously close to that line.”

“You volunteering?”

“What?”

“I’ll need someone to help. Sounds like it would make a good paper.”

“Use that little blonde chick from yesterday,” Melissa said bitterly. “I bet she’d just love to come screaming, over and over and all over, in the name of science. She is kinda cute.”

Ed took a peek to see just how cute and found that he might have actually gotten something right. Rather than being obsessed with Tanya, Melissa’s brain was actively fantasizing about Holly, some girl Ed didn’t know, and Tanya—even all three at the same time writhing in a tangle of limbs and tongues.

Woo! Ed’s cock twitched at the imaginary play. Mission accomplished! Now on to Tanya, where ever she is. He concentrated and hopped over a dream.

Melissa stumbled back into a wall. “Uhhhh. Where’d the lab go?”

They stood in a long hallway covered in pictures. A family on a picnic, the same family at Disneyland, camping, fishing, high school graduations, marriages …, “Tanya! Where are we, anyway? This her parent’s house.”

“Still in Tanya’s dream. She’s off that-a-way somewhere. Could be her house, though”

“How do we get from here to that-a-way?”

“Through the door.”

“What doo—Oh. OK.” The door that hadn’t been there a moment ago opened with a click into a teenaged girl’s somewhat messy room. A generic bed, not very frilly, a dresser, a desk with books piled on it gave no hint to the owner. It was the Barbie dolls that gave away that the owner was a girl—or a weird guy. Sports trophies lined the walls, along with other things.

“This is not Tanya’s brain,” said Melissa, stopping dead. She recovered quickly and stepped in and out of Ed’s way before looking around. “This is a shrine. I mean, get real! Ed posters? Tanya! Good grief! You’re not that built, Ed.” She picked something up off the bed and held it toward Ed. “My god. An anatomically correct Ed dildo. This is more like what you had yesterday, though, so it’s not that correct anymore.”

“You missed the Melissa Carter dolls,” said Ed, pointing at the row of not-quite-Barbies. “Yipe! Bondage Barbie? You don’t do that stuff, do you Melissa?”

Mel went red. “Just once. Tanya’s into it, not me. Thanks to you, I was totally besotted. I couldn’t say no to anything she wanted. God, she could have asked me to do anything and I would have! She’s not here. Let’s go. This is creepy.”

But not too creepy, Ed noted. Melissa fondled the Ed dildo affectionately for a few seconds before dropping it back on the bed and stepping back through the door.

* * *

“This is the hallway outside our place, but it looks … wrong.”

“It’s probably the way Tanya sees it. Her perceptions are going to be a little different from yours. Colour’s will be off, for one thing.”

“Colours?” Melissa fumbled in her purse for her key. Where had the purse come from? She didn’t know, but he suspected that it came from the same place as her intact replacement shirt: Nowhere. “Hey! I thought dreams were black and white.”

“They might be, but not when I’m around.”

“Maybe it’s not a dream then. Maybe this is some weird alternate reality.”

With a snap, Melissa drew back the deadbolt. Then she pushed open the apartment door and walked in.

“I should be really pissed over all the stuff you did to us, but I can’t get angry. I think you broke something when you were playing with my libido earlier.”

“I didn’t touch your sex drive, just how good it felt.”

“Big difference. You make something good enough, there is no way anyone’s going to say ‘No.’”

“I beg to differ,” said Ed.

“Oh God,” mumbled Melissa, a new sensation washing over her. The temperature in the apartment shot up a million degrees as she looked at the distorted apartment. The startled confusion brought on by the change passed quickly into an intense focus.

Ed was a guy. Ed had a cock. Ed had a huge cock! If she played her cards right, it would soothe the burning between her legs and her body would ease up. Then maybe she’d be able to think about more than just fucking and getting fucked. But probably not; fucking was everything.

She played with a button on her blouse to see if he’d take the hint. I mean how can he not notice that I’m warmed up and ready to ride?

He just looked at her. At her breasts, mostly. My nipples are on fire, she almost giggled aloud, her ability to control herself nearly completely buried under the building need. Not going to say anything stupid, she thought. I’m smart! I have two degrees already and I’m working on a doctorate! I have to be able to think of a way to get laid. He likes me already, I know he wants me, so this should be easy. But, fuck, it’s so hard to think!

“Eddie,” she whined, unable to keep it in any longer. “I’m horny. Let’s fuck!”

That’s not going to turn him on, she thought—barely. I sound like a snivelling bitch. He likes my tits. Use them! Maybe he’ll want to fuck them, too! I wanna get fucked everywhere! Ed’s hot for big-titted bimbos, so it is easy! Just stop thinking!

With a grip and a wrench, Mel stood with her arms spread out, holding her de-buttoned shirt open and proudly displaying her boobs to Ed. The look on his face was exactly what she wanted to see. Her horny little—big—girls with their rock-solid nipples pointed right at him as if they knew they’d been made to be cupped in a man’s hands while his hard cock pounded in her gushing pussy. They felt like they knew. Her whole body felt like it knew. She’d been denying it since guys started noticing her at twelve but, I’m built to fuck! Why aren’t we?

“Come on Eddie, I wanna have fun! Show me that big cock you had yesterday. I waaaaant it!”

She really did. Getting that massive hunk of meat banging away between her legs was the focal point of her existence. And then it wasn’t. She was standing there with a spot soaking through her jeans, flashing Ed.

That is ten times your normal sex drive. Big difference, huh?”

“You …. You are fixing what you did to Tanya and then you are getting the fuck out of my apartment.” She shuddered, unsure of whether it was disgust or an aftershock of intense, undeniable lust. Disgust most likely. I still want to fuck. God, do I ever!

* * *

Pushed that a little too far, thought Ed. He looked around at the lab. No Pinky, No Tanya or Melissa, either. They should be safe in their apartment.

Making several trips to the washroom for paper towels and to dispose of said towels, Ed cleaned off the table they’d been making out on as he pondered what to do about Melissa. She knew what he’d been up to and, obviously, she wasn’t all that happy with him.

“Shit.”

For the time being, Ed simply consoled himself with the memory of Melissa Carter tearing her shirt open and begging to get laid. She looked so intense. Acting like a bimbo, but you could see the gears turning behind her eyes. That was amazingly hot! Even half out of her mind with lust, you could still see her thinking! No wonder she’s working on her PhD and I’ve only barely started my Masters.

He picked up Tanya’s stretchy top and her sticky panties, thought about it for a minute, and then dropped them in a sample bag and into his backpack. He’d return them later. Honest.

Just as he finished repairing the orgy-caused damage to the lab, the door clicked, and Ed dropped behind the table as a lady—the dean of Applied Science—stepped in, followed by The Professor.

“Your machine is broken, Master,” said the dean, pulling a clip out of her hair and fluffing the “I’m a professional” styling out into a wild mane.

Ducking completely out of sight behind his hiding place, Ed blinked. Master?

“Yes,” said The Professor. “There was an unfortunate accident this past weekend, but things will soon be back under control. My control.”

“Pity. Not everyone loves being a sex slave as much as I do, but you’ll teach them, won’t you, master? I remember the first time you strapped me in that thing. I was so frightened. Then you taught me how silly that was. I love it now. It and all of the pretty colours.”

Ed dared take a peek just in time to see the dean slip out of her blouse. Not bad for a gal in her fifties, Ed thought. Wait a second … the scanner does what?

The Professor eyed his slave appreciatively. “Not bad for a gal in her fifties.”

“But you want me for my mind. I know. I know. Can I suck on it now?”

“In my office, Paula. One of my assistants could wander in.”

“Oh good. I wouldn’t mind a threesome with that redhead you have working for you. Have you processed her yet?”

“Alas, no. I had planned on inducting her this afternoon, but as you can see, it was out of the question. Don’t worry. We can have her next Monday. There is, however, the most scrumchous Miss Vander Mullen—experiment one-one-nine, if I recall correctly—and she has been inducted. All she needs is exposure to the visual key, and she will be ahem, fully processed.”

Holly? Ed nearly blurted. He wants Holly?

“I’ve been wondering …. Why your penis?”

“There is nothing wrong with having a healthy ego. I find it amusing that the last thing their free mind experiences is the sight of a rampant erection. You enjoy it, do you not?”

“You know I love it, master! What about the other one … Edward? Have you inducted him yet?”

“Haw! I hardly need to process him. He performs any technical task you put him to without once contemplating the purpose. Or the morality. He designed and built the damn thing; he must know what it really does. Either he doesn’t care or he truly is an idiot savant. Skilled and, in a way, but depressingly stupid in others. He makes the perfect Igor to my Frankenstein. And the idea of being fellated by Igor makes me … ill.”

“A promising student, I thought,” said the dean, masturbating herself slowly through her skirt. “A wonder he hasn’t put together a worthwhile thesis proposal yet.”

“He has. Several, including—completely by accident—the theoretical underpinnings for the brainwashing device. However, I am his advisor so he trusts me when I pronounce them unworkable.”

Peals of The Professor’s evil laughter echoed through the lab as Ed picked his jaw up off the floor and The Professor led his brain-altered sex slave into his office. “You expressed an interest in sucking on something earlier?”

The office door closed and Ed slipped out of the lab, making as little noise as he could. Total quiet wasn’t necessary; even while sucking a cock on the other side of a closed door, the dean was very enthusiastically and extremely loud.

* * *

“I was looking in the freezer for something to pull out for dinner, and I found this. Care to explain, Edward?” asked his mother, holding a blue stuffed bear with an ice pick embedded in one of its beady black eyes.

“Son of a bitch!” blurted Ed. “He did kill Stormy!”

Now Ed’s mother had known Ed for a long time, obviously. She was used to Ed’s normal level of weirdness, and while she prayed he’d one day find the right girl and settle into a civilized normality, she was smart enough to not have any money out on when. Zofia was a good start, but … any mother worth her salt could tell that the relationship would end badly. The girl was nice enough, but far too high maintenance for a boy like her Eddie.

“Stormy?” she inquired, wondering if Zofia had gotten her son involved in drugs. She looked at the storm cloud printed on the bear’s chest. “Oh.”

“I’ve had a bad day, mom,” said Ed. “Can I just go to sleep and get it over with?”

Trudging past his mother without her assent, Ed went to his room, checked it carefully for teddy bear assassins and a half-expected severed My Little Pony head in his bed, and tried to go to sleep, still clothed. It didn’t work, so he just lay there, staring at the ceiling.

“I’ve had a bad day,” said Ed, lying on his bed in the dark when his door opened without anyone knocking. “Can I have a little privacy?”

“No. You don’t deserve it.”

Ed looked towards the open door and sister’s voice.

“Talked with Zofia this morning,” said Audrey as she leaned up against his bedroom door. Framed by the light from the hall, she was a knockout. He’d done a really nice job. This Paul guy was doomed. Totally doomed. “She’s almost my identical twin and she sure as hell wasn’t yesterday. Oh, by the way, mom didn’t recognize me this morning. Or any of my friends. I avoided Dad completely. Apparently, I don’t look the same as I did yesterday, either. Care to explain?”

Oh shit. Ed mentally kicked himself. Just how I needed to end a horrible day. New fact: Retroactively changing reality for one person does not cascade. Or maybe I did it wrong, and if so, how do I do it right?

“Uh. Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.” She flicked the bedroom light on, partially ruining the view. “I didn’t have anything else to do, and I couldn’t go to the hospital looking completely different, so I was stuck hanging out with my evil twin. She couldn’t exactly go anywhere either. What did you do to us?”

“So let me get this straight,” Audrey said after the abbreviated—Care Bear free and light on the sex—version of the events of the past few days. “You’ve been breaking into people’s dreams and making women sleep with you.”

“No!” protested Ed. “Not really. Zofia wanted to have sex with me to get me into a relationship she could control. You were right, she’s … she was a manipulative bitch, but I fixed her up. Kimberley—”

“But Soph still wanted sex, huh? Real altruistic …. Wait a sec. You did our old babysitter?”

“Uh, your babysitter.”

“Whatever. What did she want in return?”

“Nothing! She just likes to let go in her dreams.”

“So you had wild dream-sex with our ex-babysitter. Was it good for you?”

“You bet it was!” blurted Ed. Audrey rolled her eyes. “It was fun. We made out on a boat, and then we went flying and had sex on top of the clouds. You wouldn’t believe the things she can do with her—”

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Are those the only two? Just Kim and Sophie?”

“Zofia,” Ed corrected.

“Oh God. She has gotten her claws into you. Way to go, Eddie-ot. Now answer the question.”

“Just them. And two girls from school. I didn’t touch one-one-nine or the girl in the physics class.”

Audrey paused, stunned or counting. “And just in dreams?”

“No. Kimberly wanted to keep going and going. She wouldn’t stop until she passed out, but I’ve got her back under control. The girls at school didn’t give me much choice, and Zofia, I’ve never even really seen her, but you know what she’s like.”

“Not anymore, I don’t. She’s not a fake anymore, but she’s still a manipulative bitch.”

“Not to me she isn’t.”

“You are so blind. Why me? Why’d you fuck with me? Ick. Fuck’s the wrong word. It sure as hell better be the wrong word, but you know what I mean. Why’d you change me?”

“We were talking last night in one of your dreams and you wanted help stealing Zofia’s boyfriend away. It seemed like the easiest way. That’s how I met her; she got pulled into your dream somehow.”

“And then you fucked her silly. You could have asked first.”

“I didn’t have to. She went nuts when we were dancing and practically raped me.”

Audrey’s face went dark. “I meant about changing me.”

“I did ask. You were all for it,” Ed lied.

“That was in a dream, Eddie. No one takes dreams seriously because they’re not real! Present circumstances excepted. OK, so I’m hot enough to reel Paul in, or just about anyone else I could want, but I’m not me anymore. I can’t go to school, I can’t go to the hospital, and I can’t even see my friends. My life is over!”

“Have a big slumber party and invite everyone. I’ll fix it.”

“Ha-ha-funny, Eddie. My friends are off limits. You can go bang your beloved blonde bunny, Zofia, if you need warm companionship.”

“I’ll work on it tonight, Audrey. You and Zofia both.”

“I don’t care about her. Her parents didn’t freak out and her house keeper barely batted an eye.”

“She has a house keeper? What is she, rich?”

“Sort of. Gold digging, Ed?”

“No. I just wanted to clear you a path to that Paul guy, honest! And … well, yeah. Her attitude bugged me a bit, but I fixed that up.”

“And she’s hot and has the cutest accent, huh? And now she’s even got big tits. I’m sure none of that figured into you screwing her brains out. You should hear her talking about it. She sounds like she found religion.”

“Whoops. I was just having a little fun and I figured I owed it to her, so I made some of her dreams come true.”

“Sophie’s dreams.”

“Zofia,” corrected Ed.

“Thank you, Eddie. Zofia’s dreams. Money; power; and a sexy, rich, well dressed boyfriend—not husband. Boyfriend. Well some of that, maybe. Where did you get those clothes? You almost look half decent for a change.”

“When I woke up, I wasn’t exactly at home and I needed something—”

“Whoa! From the beginning, Ed. Where did you go?”

That led into another long-ish explanation.

Audrey looked incredulous. “Lucky that the clothes fit? Eddie … Ed … that stuff’s probably custom tailored. You idiot! You did make Sophie’s dreams come true. You idiot!”

“What?”

“This morning Mom treated Sophie like she was family. Like she knew you two were an item.”

“We aren’t an item. I was just having fun.”

“As far as mom’s concerned, you two are serious. You know mom. She was asking Sophie about safe sex. So, officially, Eddie’s got a girlfriend. Eddie’s got a girlfri—

“Did you have to make her look just like me? That’s kind of sick, you know?”

“That was an accident. I made you look perfect and I guess while I was … er. While Zofia and I … uhm ….”

“While you were fucking like rabbits—she gave me all the details whether I wanted them or not—you made her into your dream woman. So why’s she a blonde and I’m not? And how come I’m the only one who thinks I should look like this?”

“I dunno. I screwed something up. Kimberly knew I changed her and she was worried everybody else would, too. Maybe they wouldn’t. No one noticed Zofia’d been changed?”

“She knew.”

“Maybe if you know, they don’t or something like that.”

“Well I know now. I found my old school photos. They’re the old me, I guess, so you did a really shitty job. Or maybe I’ve always looked this good and you changed things backwards.”

“I’ll fix it. And I’ll fix whatever I did to Zofia so you won’t be twins.”

“Don’t change me too much. I picked up a couple of phone numbers when Sophie and I were at the mall so change Soph. While you’re at it, could you at least make her stop using that stupid fake accent?”

“What fake accent?”

“Eddie! Dammit!” Then she paused. Her eyes widened and she giggled. “You didn’t!” Ed nodded. “You total bastard! That’s funny!”

“Just go to bed, Audrey,” said Ed. “Sooner you go to sleep, the sooner I can fix things.”

After Audrey left, Ed lay on his bed and began doing that dream hopping thing that worked so well with Tanya to find Zofia. After today, he really needed a night in the arms of an appreciative girl. After that, he had to figure out how to find out what The Professor was up to and save Holly. All this, demented Care Bears, and someone named Malala Tet, too. Unless … Unless The Professor is Malala Tet!