Face Off
by Mudak
Chapter 10
Admiral Anticrime landed in the parking lot of the Crisco Disco and began walking around in the dimly lit space, searching for the vehicle in which a physically altered villain had arrived. Just as he found the motorcycle with the personalized license plate ‘EVIL’, Chief Speef arrived on the scene.
“What’d you find, Admiral?”
“Check this out,” the hero said, gesturing to the motorcycle. “D’you think this might be Levi’s?”
“Let me call in a 501.” He lifted his phone to his ear and placed a call back to the station. “Officer Blarney! Yes. Buddy Bloody still with you? Good. Could you run a quick plate check for me? Great! I’ll let you log into the system. That’s fine. Yeah. It’s a—Holy shit!!! Stop her!”
Admiral Anticrime was paying attention to the half of the conversation that he could hear, so at first he barely noticed the young woman with very messy hair who got out of a car, climbed onto the motorcycle, started it up, and began to drive off.
He shook his head and quickly pursued after her, flying at a low altitude behind her, tracking her path.
Soon, both the cycle and the hero had disappeared.
Chief Speef raised the phone back to his ear. “You still there?”
Officer Blarney responded by saying, “Yes, sir. Is everything all right there?”
“Um. Yeah. I think so. Anyway, can you confirm the owner of a motorcycle with a personalized license plate that reads “Evil.” Right. E-V-I-L. Thanks!”
“Just give me a minute.”
While Officer Blarney was waiting for his computer to provide the information he was looking for, the car in which the motorcyclist rode to the parking lot, sped off.
“Barney, I’m going to have to call you back.” the chief terminated the call, turned on his flashing lights, and pursued the car.
Chapter 11
Melanie Felony turned her television on to watch the late night news. An attractive female anchor appeared on the screen and spoke to the camera.
“Welcome back to Distraction News. I’m Nikki Gnocchi. In our top story, following the dismissal of charges against Levi Evil, City Council is working on passing a resolution to issue a formal apology to the man and an offer to fund his next scientific project. Inside sources are saying that the only obstacle to sending it to Mayor Minor are the questions of how much, if anything, they should limit the funding to. No word right now on what the mayor himself would recommend.”
Melanie chuckled.
The news anchor raised her hand to her right ear. “Um. I’m getting a breaking news story right now. There’s apparently a high-speed chase running through downtown Metroburgh. Let’s go straight to Topper Chopper for the details. Topper, can you hear me?”
The screen cut to a man who was flying above Metroburgh in a helicopter. “I can hear you, Nikki.”
“Where are you right now, Topper?” The anchorwoman raised her voice to ensure that she could be heard over the sounds of the news helicopter.
“I’m flying roughly over the eastern quadrant of Metroburgh. It’s not exactly clear what’s going on right now, but there are two separate chases going on below me, and I’m trying to keep ‘em both in my sight as much as I can. I’m not sure where they started, but Admiral Anticrime is chasing a woman on a motorcycle and it looks like it might be Chief Speef himself chasing someone driving a late model sedan. Both chases are fairly close to each other but I can’t tell if they’re going to the same place or, for that matter, coming from the same place.”
The camera moved away from the reporter and redirected the view to the quickly moving chases below.
Melanie, upon seeing this, mumbled to herself. “Sorry, cos. You’re going to have to wait a little longer to get your bike back.” She picked up her phone and looked for the numbers she had recently dialed. After she pushed a couple of buttons and waited through the sound of the phone ringing in the earpiece, she spoke. “Heidi. Change of plans. Don’t go back to Levi’s place. I want you to go home and wait there at least until morning. Right. Don’t leave your home until you get further instructions from me. Got it? Good.”
Almost immediately after Melanie hung up the phone, the motorcycle veered towards the right of her television screen screen, with Admiral Anticrime following her close behind.
“Um. It looks like the motorcyclist is moving further away from the sedan!” reported Topper Chopper.
Melanie placed a second phone call. “Stella. Switch to plan B.”
“And now the sedan has turned away in the other direction! I’m not sure I can keep both of them in my sight if they’re going in opposite directions. Which one do you think I should follow, Nikki?”
The anchorwoman paused and said, “The motorcycle. There’s got to be a reason why Admiral Anticrime is following her.”
“Roger that!”
Melanie chuckled. “Yeah. Because that’s my cousin’s bike.” She decided she needed to call Levi.
When he picked up the phone, she asked, “Are you watching the news?”
“No. Why?”
“Let’s just say that Admiral Anticrime was waiting for you to come get your bike.”
“But how’d he know? I mean, I .. Your stuff and all. I didn’t look anything like myself.”
“Did you tell anyone your name while you were out?”
Levi said nothing.
“I thought so,” said Melanie. “Has the cream worn off yet?”
Levi looked in the mirror. “A few of my scars on my cheeks are back, but I don’t think so. Not fully. What was in that stuff anyway?”
“Don’t worry about that. Just know that I can’t see you until after it’s completely worn off. Should last 10 to 12 hours depending on how much you put on.”
“Why?”
“While you’ve got that cream on your face, any girl you look in the eye, will get really horny and she’ll literally do anything you want. They won’t be able to help themselves.”
“Now I get it. So when the girls ate your ice cream…”
“They became my slaves. Convenient for sending the cops on a wild goose chase, but that means you’re not going to get your bike back tonight. Not with Admiral Anticrime watching your bike. We’ll figure that much out when the smoke clears so to speak.” There was a knock on Melanie’s front door. “Ooops! Gotta go! That’s the chief. I’ve been expecting him.”
Chapter 12
Melanie took a deep breath and opened the door. As she had expected, Chief Speef stood on her porch, with his hand upon the shoulder of one of her new slave girls, Stella. The villainess feigned ignorance.
“Is something wrong, officer?”
“Do you know this woman?”
“Yes. She’s my cousin, Stella. She went out to see an old friend of hers tonight.”
Melanie looked Stella in the eye. Stella nodded her head and said, “Right!”
“Do you know where she went?”
“She said she’d be clubbing. I don’t know where she went. I only just moved here a couple months ago so I’m not entirely sure all the places she could’ve gone.”
Stella chimed in. “Me and Heidi, we went to a few clubs and flirted with some really hot guys.”
“I bet,” said the chief.
“What’s going on here, officer? Is everything all right?”
“Well, I … She didn’t pull over for me when I signaled to her to pull over.”
“What was she doing?”
“Um… Well, we’d gotten a, um, tip about a …” the chief tried to come up with a good lie on the spot. “A stolen car that matches the description of her car and, well… We wanted to make sure it was hers.”
“Why didn’t you pull over, Stella?” asked Melanie.
“I’m not sure where my driver’s license is. I used it to get into two of the bars we went to tonight, but when we went on to the next bar, I didn’t have it. I didn’t want to get cited for driving without a license.”
“So what’d you do?” asked Chief Speef.
“I took Heidi back to the first place we visited. She said she was tired and she just wanted to go home. It’d been long enough that she had sobered up, so I said sure.”
“Any idea where she is now?”
“I’m assuming she went home.”
“Have you been drinking tonight?”
“I had two sips of my friend’s beer. Do I need to take a breathalyzer?”
“Um. That’s all right. Have a good night.”
“You too, officer,” both women said in unison. As Chief Speef walked away, Melanie said to Stella, “Come on in, dear.” Melanie closed the door and added, “Looks like your instructions stuck perfectly….”
Chapter 13
The chief and Admiral Anticrime arrived back at the precinct within minutes of each other. Admiral Anticrime openly wondered if he was losing his touch in terms of his intuition as to who was up to no good and what they were planning on doing.
As they walked in the door, they approached Officer Blarney’s desk. The chief nodded curtly at Buddy Bloody before he asked the young investigator, “Any word on the owner of that bike?”
“Levi Evil.”
Admiral Anticrime then related the story of how he chased the driver of the motorcycle to a small apartment complex. He mused that he could inquire about who the girl was with the apartment’s management.
“Don’t bother. I think the story’s with the girl I met tonight.”
“Who’d you meet tonight?”
“I’d rather not talk with him around,” said the chief pointing at Buddy Bloody.
“Me? Why?”
“You’re officially a part of this investigation and you’ll be rewarded if things pan out. But you don’t need to know anything more than you already do at this stage. We appreciate your help and we’ll keep in touch.”
The crook tried to protest but when the gaze of three law enforcement officials came down on him, he quickly stopped talking. “I’ll let myself out,” he said, half hoping to guilt them into asking him to stay.
Once Buddy had left, the chief explained his thoughts. “The girl who was inside the house where my chase ended, she said something that got me to thinking. She’d only been here a few months. I think she might know more than she’s letting on.” He placed a slip of paper on the desk. “Barney, can you check to see who the owner is on this property?”
The officer began typing on his computer and came up with the answer within a few seconds. “Her name’s Felony. Melanie Felony. Bought the place back in April.”
“Now why couldn’t you have gotten the info on the bike that quickly?”
“Different databases, sir!”
“Obviously. Any other information on her? I don’t want to get slammed on making an assumption about names, like what happened to Levi Evil in the trial…”
“Let’s see here. Both her parents are dead. She’s … oh this is interesting. Her mother’s maiden name was Evelyn Evil. Evelyn’s father was named… Get this... Levi Evil….”
“So she’s Levi Evil’s granddaughter? That can’t be possible. I’m guessing that they’re no more than ten years apart”
“No no no,” interrupted Admiral Anticrime. The Levi Evil who we’ve been following is actually Levi Evil III. Tell me Melanie Felony and Levi Evil are cousins.”
“I think so. Evelyn Evil looks to be Levi Junior’s sister,” said Officer Blarney.
“Well, that’s certainly interesting. Who else’s she got living there?” asked Chief Speef.
“Oh, now this is interesting,” said Officer Blarney. “I know I’ve seen this name before. Hugh Jim Bissell. Why does that name sound so familiar?”
“That’s the mayor’s new assistant!” said Chief Speef and Admiral Anticrime in unison.
“So what do we do?”
Admiral Anticrime started to pace around. “Let’s not warn the mayor just yet. But if she’s got someone in the mayor’s office, it makes you wonder if she’s somehow gotten into city hall, too.”
Chief Speef looked at the superhero. “Did you hear about the resolution that debated today in City Hall? The one apologizing to Levi Evil? Is that normal for when a supervillain gets the charges tossed?”
“I don’t think it’s ever happened before. I can’t imagine them doing that for a Maniacal Meriwether or a Victor Villanova, that’s for sure. Maybe we should keep a close eye on the inner workings of city hall. And how quickly can we get some kind of surveillance on Melanie Felony’s lair?”
“Probably within the next 24 to 48 hours.”
“I guess that’s all right. I’d feel better if we had something else to go by.” The hero paced around even more frantically. “Wait a minute. Levi Evil showed up at City Hall the day you destroyed the weather machine, remember?”
“Yeah.”
“He wasn’t alone, was he? He had a woman with him, right?”
Yeahhhh…” the chief was starting to see where this was going.
“D’you suppose it was Melanie?”
“We can look at the surveillance tapes and see. I know he never got as far as the mayor’s office but who knows? Maybe he’d already gotten what he needed.”
“She,” interrupted Officer Blarney.
“What?” asked the chief.
“Maybe SHE’D already gotten what SHE needed.”
“Barney’s right,” said Admiral Anticrime. “Looks to me like Melanie’s the one in control here. The only question is: can we get directly at her, or should we try to go through Levi Evil?”
“Can’t we try both?” the young officer asked.
“Hang on one sec. I’ll be right back,” the chief said. Before either of the other men could say anything, he had turned on his heels and walked away.
“What was that about?” asked Officer Blarney.
“I was hoping you’d know…” responded Admiral Anticrime. “But anyway, if we’re looking to catch Melanie, we should at least keep an eye out for anything strange happening in the mayor’s office or city hall. Maybe Hugh Jim Bissell will fuck up and give something away. I’m not sure what the right thing is…”
Chief Speef spoke loudly as he re-entered the room. “Gentlemen, I’d like you both to meet Miss Ivana Getchyaoff.”
Admiral Anticrime turned around and smiled. “Didn’t you break up a kidnapping ring run by Bad Vlad a few months ago?”
“The one and the same,” she said as she shook the superhero’s hand.
“So what’re you going to do?”
“I’m going to hang out at the Crisco Disco until Levi Evil tries to pick me up. Whatever else happens, you’ll know exactly where I am and what’s going on.”
“But what about the risks?”
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Admiral Anticrime looked her straight in the eye. “You could end up being a mindless slave to Levi Evil, Melanie Felony, or some other supervillain in this town.”
“Well, then, you’re just going to have to do whatever it takes to protect me, then, won’t you?” she ran her long slender fingers over the hero’s shirt, which was tight enough to show off his bulging muscles, stopping at the top of his codpiece.
“I guess I will…”
Chapter 14
Admiral Anticrime arrived at Metroburgh City Hall the following morning and strode confidently up to the security gates.
The guard recognized him, smiled broadly and said, “What a pleasant surprise! Is the mayor … or anyone else, for that matter, expecting you, sir?”
“Um. No, I don’t think so. I just came by to watch some of the debate on the floor of the council this morning, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t see why not. It’s open to the public.”
“Thank you. My suit’s going to set off your alarm as I walk through. Any idea how I can get in without stripping completely naked?”
A woman who had walked into the building after the superhero called out, “I’ll pat you down if you’d like!”
“I, um… I think you can go in. You don’t have any guns on you, do you?”
“I don’t use guns, you know that!”
Another woman called out, “I still think we should strip search him! Do you mind if I help?”
He chuckled. “Ladies! Please. This is neither the time nor the place for this kind of talk. If you want to come back to my lair later, on the other hand…”
The second woman swooned.
The guard laughed and said, “Go on! I’d say the debates on the floor started maybe about five minutes or so ago…”
Chapter 15
Admiral Anticrime took a seat in the gallery of the city council and leaned forward to watch the proceedings on the floor.
Councilman Rudy Doody was standing at a podium, gesturing broadly and occasionally pounding his fist into the stand. “The way I see it, there are two issues at hand here, ladies and gentlemen! First, we must ask ourselves if the government is generally in the habit of barging into a private residence, finding the lawful work that is being performed within the four walls of that residence, and destroying it without the slightest hint of what it does. And second, we must ask ourselves if we must hold Admiral Anticrime to a higher degree of certitude before acting on any of his hunches!”
The speaker raised his hands high above his head and continued. “I believe that the laws of this city and of our fair land should be followed in all circumstances! I believe that when we fail to live up to the standards set by those laws, then we fail not only ourselves, but also the promise that our founders made for themselves, that they made for us, and that they made for our children!
“Ladies and gentlemen of this great city council, we have failed. Not only have we done wrong to one of our citizens, Mr. Levi Evil, but we have also done wrong to the promise of this great land. But fortunately, we also have something else that makes us great: not only are we willing to admit our failures and to learn from them, but we also have the prosperity and the integrity, to make it right. To turn this land into a place more just, more honest, more … more consistent with our promise. And that we must do. Soon we shall vote. Vote on an official compensation owed to Mr. Evil, to make up not only for the loss of materials in his home, to make up not only for the time he spent in a prison cell accused of a crime that never was perpetrated, and also to make up for the time, energy, pain, sweat, and tears that went into his laboratory. No amount of money can undo what was done, however we can compensate him in a manner that would allow him to move forward with greater, bolder, and nobler plans than he had previously imagined. I implore you to follow your hearts and to vote accordingly.”
Admiral Anticrime stood up and was about to speak out from the gallery, when the councilman continued.
“Admiral Anticrime is one of the greatest allies our city has ever had. I am proud to have met him and spoken with him on numerous occasions.”
The superhero sat down.
“I have no doubt that Admiral Anticrime believed he was acting properly when he advised the chief of our police force to enter into Levi’s lair. And when he believes something, he generally has good reason to do so. The good he has done when he has followed his intuition can not and ought not be underestimated. In this one instance, however, he was wrong, pure and simple. It would be wrong of us to impose a fine upon him for simply being wrong, however it is of utmost importance that this council let it be known that we disapprove of his actions. I therefore propose that we reprimand the superhero and let it be known that there will be consequences if he should make an error such as this again!”
Admiral Anticrime looked around in the gallery. Some people were looking at him with an air of disgust. He stood up, lowered his head, and walked out of the gallery. Something was wrong with that speech, he mused. Councilman Doody, of all people, would never speak of apologizing to a criminal, even one who had been exonerated. There was more to this speech and he needed to find out what. Of course, if council was going to watch him more closely, that just made things significantly more complicated.