I Have No Idea
by Redsliver
Chapter 15
* * *I was hosed down by a pair of nurses. One stuffed my hair up into a cotton paper cap. Another forced me to step into a pair of scrubs. They felt like the pants of my old karate gi. I wondered what I had been doing for exercise. My left arm was grabbed and stuffed down the sleeve of a surgical gown. Then the right. A nurse tied everything behind me. I stepped into some bland white shoes.
I think one of the nurses had been one of the Asian girls I had found with Larry during that first flicker. Anh, Jade? I couldn’t even remember which one he had wanted to keep. Drinking, because women don’t really need names. She gave me a demure smile as I stared at her. God, the women of this island were hot. Everyone should be a billionaire. Money would be worthless.
It was clear, this clinic was a Fuck Island clinic. These nurses wore minidresses. A red heart patch rested over every left breast. Their great legs were marketed in white thigh high socks. Their hair was tied back in braids or buns and adorned with those old paper nurse hats. They wore rubber gloves. There were stethoscopes at hand and all the trappings of a hospital. This was still a sex dungeon.
“Yaa-arrgh!” Rena’s voice battled through the double doors ahead of me. Vanessa, in green scrubs, latex gloves, facemask, and haircap, strode past and into the labor room. She didn’t give me or the help a second look. Into the hospital room she went. Enter the door on the right. I seemed to remember that being the crux of series of jokes on Frasier… I shook my head. What the fuck was I distracting myself with?
OK, I felt relieved. The nurse in the room with Rena was wearing floral scrubs and a pink top. She was dressed all business. These sluts outside must’ve been candy strippers, fuckable hospital volunteers.
“Is he out there! He did this to me!” Shouted Rena before the door swung closed. I was giggling. Larry’s Asian and the other one seemed to think I had three heads.
“Brave man,” I turned and Mel was leaning on the door to the waiting room. She ran her hand over her distended tummy. I had three or four months left on her. “Think of a name yet?”
“Don’t I need two?” I panicked. “Was Amanda having the twins?”
“You have the girl’s name, Lorraine.” She pointed out. That was my mom’s name I took a deep breath. OK, I remembered having that conversation years ago. Some early college girlfriend I was going to love forever. Yeah, not so much. She had hated the name. We buried our disagreement. If you were going to have a fight… Well, why deal with a light mist when you can wait for the hurricane? Rena’s groan spiked again. Mel suggested I hurry. I almost had my gloved hand on the door when my twin lover shouted. “What about the boy?”
“Drag that perky teenaged cunt the fuck out of here!” Rena’s voice battled past me. Mel chuckled as she hooked back into the waiting room. Olivia and Dad were there. “Get out of the doorway and come see what you did, you parasitic penis!”
“Breathe Rena.” Doc Vanessa tempered her stern command. She mimicked the lamaze rhythm I only knew from bad sitcoms.
“Don’t you tell me what to do! You weren’t here in time for my Goddamned epidural!”
“Breathe, c’mon breathe.” I messed up the rhythm. Rena let out a furious growl. She was smiling when it was done.
“Give me your hand!” She squealed. “You’re here. You’re really here.”
The nurse ushered me around and away from the business end of the miracle of life. No crowning yet. I figured I’d notice that. If crowning was what I figured it was.... The nurse was a compact woman, maybe 5′3″, large breasted and healthfully muscled. Her eyes were smiling, but with the mask it was all I could see. She stood me on Rena’s left just as another screaming contraction hit.
“You’re doing great,” Doc Vanessa assured Rena. “Keep breathing. Take his hand.”
I reached out for her and she tore off the glove I had been given. She was flushed. Her skin had become a darker brown; her eyes were showing more white. Her jaw set between the rhythm of her breaths.
“Oh Crap!” She squealed. “I didn’t—”
“It’s perfectly normal Rena. Breathe and focus on getting the baby out.” Doc Vanessa’s voice stayed stern, strong, and I think that soothed Rena more than anything else would.
The nurse dived in and cleaned up as quickly as she could. I liked my point of view up by the shoulder. I could see Rena’s face. I could watch the fear, excitement, frustration, and determination all at once. This was overwhelming. She was sweating; exertion hammered her. I brushed her hair from her face.
“C’mon,” I grinned. I was struck. With her face all fucked up, tears in her eyes, even her nose was running. I was ecstatic to see her for the imperfect mess she was. This was life. This was real. This was good.
The next contraction came. I had been bracing for it. She did squeeze harder but it wasn’t that break every bone in the hand gag I had—Seriously? I don’t know why my train of thought was reatreating over and over again to shit comedy. I smiled down to her. Rena’s here. She’s doing this for us, for her, for me, for the babies.
“Rena? You’re dilated ten centimeters now. We’re going to start pushing with the next contraction. A big push each time. Big push.” Doc Vanessa walked her through it. I brushed Rena’s hair as as she thundered through her next contraction.
“Good. Things are going well.” Doc Vanessa assured Rena.
“You’re doing great. You’re amazing. You’re—”
“You’re talking to much!” Rena wheezed at me.
“Breathe, Rena. Breathe.” I said and aped the rhythm the nurse was demonstrating.
“I already breathed today!” She screamed. The next contraction hit. I rubbed the back of her hand and squeezed hers back.
“Good job,” I cheered her on. “There’s only one more to go once you get this one out.”
“You son of a bitch,” Rena seethed through clenched grinning teeth. “The next time we do this the humans are coming out of your fucking crotch!”
“Deal.” I squeezed her hand back.
“OK, come on now,” Vanessa mimicked the breathing. The nurse and I did the same thing. Rena told us to fuck off. Everything was amped up. The air broke. I swear I heard the baby breathe in before the hellion screamed out crying. I had tears in my eyes. I was smiling so hard it hurt.
“It’s a little girl,” Vanessa’s voice had shrank some. “You’re a strong woman. The next one’ll be coming soon.”
“He’ll be out soon. He’s just already a mama’s boy and doesn’t want to leave,” I assured Rena. Her rigid grasp of my hand felt loosened, felt ghostly.
“And set the clamp, thank you Nurse.” My screaming little ball of sticky was in the arms of the little woman.
“You’re going to have to hold her while I help the Doctor with her brother.”
I looked down at the insignificant weight in my arms and it felt like the weight of the world. I looked over to Rena. I showed her and she lit up as I brightly as I was. I blinked, the whole room felt like it rocked.
“Your name is Lorraine and you are loved.” I laughed. A little hand was grabbed tightly around my pinkie.
“I like the name too, but if you name a little boy that, you’re out of your mind!” Larry’s voice hit me like a club to the face.
I twisted. The room was wrong. It was clearly the same room. The tools and monitors and organization were closer to the mother. The bedclothes were different. The doctor washing her hands was the wrong woman. The nurse in front of me was a Latina and thinner, though she had a great big butt. I twisted in my bed to see a warm smile on Shani and her hand in Larry’s.
“It happened again.” I edged the baby into her mother’s arms. “I missed Amanda’s? And the other twin?”
“During Rena’s delivery? That’s strange. Billionaire-Brian didn’t reappear until that next day,” Shani looked up at Larry and then back over to me. “Amanda’s out there with Garth. Go and see her. We still got all the weighing and things these mad scientists have to do.”
“I didn’t want to miss this. I—”
“Go, you were here every step of the way. It’ll come back to you.” Larry promised me. “You’re just going to hyperventilate and panic and the new mommy doesn’t want to see that.”
“It’s OK,” Shani sooked at the little boy in her arms. “Send in your father. We need to do the when Garth met Garth moment.”
I reached down and brushed her hair over her face. I looked up at Larry and he masked whatever he was feeling with a sympathetic smile. I was frustrated with myself too.
“They’re in good hands with the two of you.” I agreed. I squeezed Shani’s foot as I circled the hospital bed. The nurse directed me to her wash station. In the anteroom, I took off my cap and gown. I had been dressed underneath it all this time. A t-shirt and shorts. I stepped on the heels of my shoe covers and walked ahead in socks with sandals.
“Can we go in?” Dad launched himself up with a smile I couldn’t have imagined on his face when I stepped out. Olivia was looking a little rounder. Doc Vanessa sat on my step-mother’s side. They looked on with patience and wariness. Olivia saw the tears in the corners of my eyes. It was like a lightswitch.
“Dad, I really need to introduce you to Garth.” I said with a shaky smile. He caught on as his wife done. I was hugging the shit out of him back. He was laughing and jumping. I slapped him on the back and held him tightly. I was terrified. I lifted myself back onto my heels and looked him in the face.
“Cigars?” I asked.
“They’re right here.” Olivia lifted three of them out of her purse.
“I don’t think you should be smoking, your pregnant,” Dad laughed at her.
“I have them for you, Larry, and Brian.” She said, “And you can’t have them until you’re out those doors and away from all of us precious little ones.”
“Where’s Amanda?” I said looking around the empty room. “Larry said—”
“She’s outside, she wanted a tea and walked over to Perkins.” She said.
“I’m going to go see her. Dad, thank Larry for me. Tell Shani I love her.” I clapped my dad’s shoulder and bolted for the door. I stopped as I pulled it open. Was I abandoning my kid? Did I have to go back? Did I—
If a man’s a man, he honors his responsibilities. This was one of mine. I grinned at Dad.
“He’s still ordering everyone around,” my dad laughed. There was relief and honesty in those chuckles but an undercurrent as well. The doors swung closed behind me. I was in one of the box buildings encircling the Strip’s intersection. I crossed towards the fountain. It was very early in the morning. Red tinted skies looked over me. I waved to the girl crossing the street in front of me.
“Master!” She squealed. She must’ve been wearing contact lenses or had had lasik surgery. Bethany, my redheaded hairdresser, was more than a little startled. “Is Mistress Tanner doing well?”
“It’s a boy!” I shouted forcing myself to drill into as much glee and energy as I could harness. There was genuine energy down there. The tint of fear that I was going to miss more and more of their lives. Their. This was my fourth kid… I still had three more coming. What was I?
“I’m a bit—” I gestured to my head and suggested it was all scrambled up in there. “Perkins?”
“I’ll take you,” She said warmly. I put my hand on her hip. Ran it across her ass and settled back on her hip. She smiled, far more comfortable in her bikini that she had been in her barber’s smock.
“We were right both times before.” Amanda was speaking to Mel who looked red faced and frantic. “That was probably more of a fluke than a testament to our predictive capabilities. If he’s still mercenary tomorrow morning, we’ll talk. For now—”
“I need to talk to you!” I quieted my voice across the sentence when I took in the cafe. It was homey: lots of big sofas, often steamcleaned I was sure, little nooks, and open tables. There was a bar on the near wall or high stools in corners for more intimate places. There were a bunch of girls here, two were working. The other Asian girl that Larry had fucked, not the candy stripper so close in my mind, was smiling behind the bar. That girl who had been on front desk duty that first morning was wiping down a table. Her name was Lacy.
I was proud of myself for knowing that.
Amanda sat at a small table across from Ellie. She had a pink bassinet with white frills that she was rocking gently with her left hand as she sipped her tea with the right. She looked burnt and frazzled. Mel was round and red cheeked. She nibbled at some breakfast sandwich biscuit. They both looked at me.
“Hey, princess,” I hurried over and looked down at my chubby daughter. Her dark cheeks were jiggling out and she was waving her hands and blowing spit bubbles. I rubbed a finger over her tummy. I looked at her mother. “Don’t hate me. What’s her name?”
“You didn’t break in your sleep today.” Amanda observed with crooked curiosity. “But you were rushed awake by Shani’s labor four hours ago. We didn’t account for that.”
“Her name is Noel,” Mel told me. Her hand circled on the small of my back.
“I have a dream about her.” I sang for the baby.
“She’s so well behaved around him.” Mel seemed hesitant. I could only smile brightly.
“He’s got the intensity way down.” Amanda was so exhausted everything she was saying had the emotion of a robot.
“Lorraine, Noel, Garth, and?”
“Is he born!” Mel beamed. She wanted to hop up. I had to hold her and ease her back in the chair.
“Take a deep breath, up on your feet,” I helped her.
“The Hess twins have been bonkers since they fell in love with Lorraine and Lawrence,” Amanda put down her tea with a warm excited sigh. She smiled for me as I held the door for Mel and she left.
“Um, am I dismissed?” Bethany worried to Amanda. She must have been hovering behind me since we had entered the coffee shop. I turned back and Amanda was laying out two orange capsules and a powder blue tablet on the table.
“I’ll put him in your hands in a moment.” Amanda said. “Let me give the man his medicine and you can take him for breakfast.”
“Don’t be silly, I want to talk to you and meet the lovely Noel.” I made faces back into the bassinet.
“If you don’t take the pills, you’re going to keep fluttering in and out your blackout. The girls can’t take it forever.” She said.
“I’ve already had breakfast. I’m supposed be looking after the Princesses,” Bethany looked over at me. She settled the pills in the palm of her hand.
“Water to wash them down,” The little Asian woman came over and set a drinking glass on the table. She beamed as she saw the pills and tablet in Bethany’s hand. The Asian gave me a fiery grin. “Sisyphos? You’re going to have a fun day!” She told me.
“Maybe I should just take the—”
“The sex is part of the treatment. You burning yourself out will help. Take the pills,” Amanda looked up and me smiling, “Please.”
“Doctor’s orders,” I leered at Bethany. I picked up the blue tablet first. That’s the one I cared about. The orange pills would give me a powerful erection was great and uplifting, but what I wanted more than anything was a cure.
“Do I have to call off or—”
“We’ll do it for you, Beth,” A girl said over the top of her novel. Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. I wasn’t familiar with it. I swallowed down the next two pills.
“Did, uh, did Dakota get the part of She-Hulk?” I asked thinking back what should’ve been hours but was probably at least a month.
“No, you crashed her audition, told her she had a better place to go, and dragged her and Mel over to one of the other stages.”
“What for?”
“To try on glasses.”
“Why would I do that?” I put the water glass back on the table. I made some gurgling sounds at Noel and tickled her belly. She threw up a little. I have never seen a smile that proud.
“OK now,” Amanda creaked as she took a towel out of the baby bag that I hadn’t seen under the table.
“Please, let me?” I ask reaching over to her shoulder and confiscating the towel.
“Never say please again.”
“Get out of here,” Amanda chased off the Asian barista as I lifted up the girl. “That’s Anh, she should’ve been out of here at the end of February. Except her bloodwork came back in the ranges Larry was looking for.”
I hadn’t been listening. I was telling Noel she was a big beautiful girl and cradling her against my chest. I bounced her and patted her back until there was a good deal more throw up on the towel than in the baby carriage. Lacy zipped over to strip out the bedding and replace it for Noel. I smiled and thanked her.
“I’d do anything for you,” she murmured.
“I’ve seen it,” I said, speaking generally. The blush on her cheeks was a reaction to the idea I was speaking specifically. She looked to Amanda and hugged her.
“Get your slut off of me, give me my baby back, and go play with your sex dolls in The Globe.”
“Goodbye, Noel. Daddy loves you.” I promised and settled my daughter in her mother’s arms. Anh was untying Amanda’s top so Noel could feed. I felt like there was something right in the world as I headed out.
“Lacy! Come with me and Bethany!” I shouted across the room. Shouted was an overstatement. I had just been talking so quietly in front of Noel that speaking at a standard indoor voice was disconcerting. Lacy ripped off her Perkins shirt and dropped her apron by the door. Someone would get that. That was the rule of Fuck Island.
I was considering the implications of everything. I almost walked across the island. There were footpaths along the cart roads. Lacy had been wearing a bikini top under her shirt. She smiled brilliantly when I looked at her. Bethany had a nervous nose twitch that offset her smile. I was looking forward to the trip. They were also waiting for me to initiate the conversation. I was happy to face my thoughts.
Three concrete tiles out beyond the strip and an autonomous cart rolled to a stop beside us. The girls got in and looked expectantly at me.
The carts only drove two to two and half times New York City walking speed. It was a comfortably walkable island. Still, I got in.
“Where are we headed?”
“Down to the Globe. I’ve always liked seeing what Mel has built up.”
The girls looked at each other and frowned. Bethany, who had taken the driver’s seat, pressed our destination and then the call button.
“Sao Huberto Resort, Frankie speaking,” a slightly raspy young sounding receptionist answered with a smile you could hear through the speaker, “How may I improve your stay?”
“Do you do phone sex?” I joked.
“Only for really naughty adventurous types,” her voiced roared in subtle fire, “Are you up to the task, Master?”
“No, I’m only—” I shut up and waved dismissively. Bethany frowned. Was there a camera for Frankie to see what I was—I didn’t care.
“We’re escorting Master down to The Globe. He’s looking to explore it with Mistress Hess.” Lacy interjected over the shoulder.
“I’ll call her and have her meet you,” Frankie’s bright voice returned.
“Goodbye Frankie,” I said and clicked off the phone. We were just rounding the middle of the island intersection. A new branch was arching off the path to Casa de Tanner. “How do you girls like what we’ve done with the new addition?”
“The Home of Love and Family is still under construction,” Bethany said. “I don’t think Lacy and I will ever get there.”
“Don’t lose all hope,” I smirked. I didn’t have the pieces and I wasn’t about to delve into the details with the flunkies. It was another conversation I should be having with Dad and Olivia and Rena and…
Mel would meet us at The Globe. I wouldn’t be drugged up and handed off like Amanda had done. I’d use my powers, I’d get answers. I was feeling better already.
“Do you girls have jobs at The Globe?”
“Hair and makeup,” Bethany was gleeful to explain.
“No, I’m too awkward for all that role playing stuff.” Lacy worried.
“Ok, but if all you had to do was wear the costume, who would you be?” I asked.
“Do I have to be a redhead?” Bethany frowned.
“I used to watch these cheesy old shows with my Dad…” Lacy frowned, “I’m not the right shape for Xena but she had this sidekick, Gabrielle.”
“I loved that show,” I smirked. “Excellent choice Lacy. I wish there was more almost-cartoonized adventures out there to watch. Oh, and no Beth, wigs can be part of a costume, but I’d rather my MJ still be a redhead once I strip her out of her borrowed Spider-Man top.”
I had meant the comment as supportive of her explorations. She dropped her chin and her eyes. “I guess I could be April O’Neil like you suggested.”
“How does your hair look curly like hers?”
“Terrible.” She bemoaned. “That’s why I was thinking maybe someone else. There’s gotta be someone with straight hair or something.”
“There probably is.” I didn’t care to lead her. We were pulling up to The Globe. Lacy and I exited the cart, excited to explore. Bethany was weighing our mood down. I waited for her to catch up and slapped her ass taking a handful along with her attention.
“Turn that frown upside down,” I demanded. She beamed with a wonderful smile. I smirked evilly, “That’s a smile not an upside down frown.”
I wrapped my arm around Lacy. After, making out for a good minute, she had great tits, I started to feel bad about teasing Bethany. She wasn’t used to it. Wasn’t prepared for it. I fell back from Lacy who was excited. I was burning up and ready to get crazy.
“He-ee-ey! Bri-aaannn!” I looked to see the oncoming cart. Mel… I lost my smile when I saw the little gear bouncing between her bikini clad breasts. I had let Bethany call for Mistress Hess. My fault.
“Hey mama!” I stepped to the cart to offer her a hand to her feet. She loved the attention. I kissed her.
“Your light’s on!” She squeezed the stuffing out of me. “I’ve been missing you so much!”
“Amanda’s helping me get back.” I rubbed her with my medically assisted excitement. “She prescribed coming down and just wearing me right the hell out.”
“Yeah? And you called for me… You wanted Mel and one of your sluts just asked for Mistress Hess.” She gave a pout, giggled and stepped towards Lacy and Bethany. She saw through Bethany’s failure of excitement.
“Thank you for fucking up,” She gave Bethany a hug. She then twisted. “Garth… I guess I should be saying Grandpa Garth now.”
“I was just going to go with The OG.” I smirked.
“Of course you were,” She laughed. She had taken Bethany’s hand and had levered Lacy over at me. She dug into the her shoulder bag. “If you’re supposed to get really worn out.” She bit her lip and rushed over to me. She dragged out my hand into the center of the four of us. “She gave you Sisyphos, right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Checks out,” Lacy giggled rubbing my cock from over the shorts.
“You want to up the dose and get crazy?” She pulled out a tiny ziplock baggie with a sun shielded black filter of it.
“She actually gave me—” I was about to say two when the powder blue tablet rolled out onto my middle finger to fall into the middle of the palm of my hand. “Huh?”
“What’s wrong?” Lacy asked.
“Take your medicine.” Bethany tried to rally.
“This isn’t Sisyphos, those come in amber capsules.” I rolled the powder blue tablet over to see the relief of Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.
* * *