I still can’t believe that Love and Lies is going to be at Mallory Hall. It’s hard not to let my mind wander while baking. A lot of it is pretty mindless. You just sort of put ingredients together, mix, set the oven to the right time, pour the material in the right container, wait the right time, and take it out to cool… So much of it when you’ve done a recipe before is really mindless in a way that doesn’t bother me.
All that matters to me is that Chastity enjoys it.
“Come on, Em. Quit being a jerk to yourself. Straight girl, remember?” I groan and lean back against the counter. The oven is preheating. All of the ingredients are mixed. A part of me wants to mix them more, but I really don’t want to make them end up rubbery. Then this would be even more frustrating. “You just had to fall in love with the one straight girl in all of Midas City. You probably just have a crush on her because she’s a noble minded unobtainable catholic school girl and you’ve heard that all of them are sexual dynamos…”
I get out of school earlier than Chastity does. Taking extra credits earlier in high school means that I don’t need to take as many now, and my schedule lined up perfectly so I can leave early every day of the week. It’s helpful for having some extra time to bake snacks to surprise the girl you’re doing totally not crushing on before meeting up at the public library to study magic. It sounds silly to me and it’s been my life for a while now.
Baking is fun, and it’s a lot like magic. It’s a special little ritual where you put things together and out comes something edible that makes people you care about smile. If it’s baked with love, people can feel it. You always want to use the finest ingredients, and get the recipe just right… unless you’re feeling clever and can figure out a way to make it a little better.
Is anything that’s both a science and an art just “magic” or is that silly when I’m practicing real magic? I’m not doing anywhere near as good a job of it as Chastity is, but she doesn’t mind having me around. Maybe it’s just because I can check the books out.
“No, Em. That is not why. Probably.” I sigh and let out a long slow groan. Fuck. “It’d be a lot easier if it was just a crush, and just because she ticks like every spot. She’s smart, she’s strong enough to pin me to the ground or a wall or a bed without even thinking about it…” I rub my thighs together, biting my lip. If I keep up these thoughts I’m going to soak right through my panties and ruin these shorts. I’m totally not wearing them out of a silly hope that Chastity will notice the way they hug my ass, nope, not at all.
That would just be silly. She’s a straight girl and definitely not just closeted by a religious upbringing. Some girls really are supposedly straight—even the lovable ones. Supposedly.
I wish I had something more to mix, or measure, or something. I’ve checked the recipe like ten times by now. There’s nothing to do besides let the mix sit for ten minutes or so. There are still dry bits of flour, but the recipe insists I’ll make it rubbery if I stir until all of that is gone.
How anything I touch could be dry when I’m thinking about Chastity… that just doesn’t seem reasonable. I’m definitely not. She’s just got such pretty eyes. Her skin looks so soft.
That’s ignoring her lips. I just want to grab her cheeks and kiss her until she moans my name. I want to run my hands over that athletic physique and feel how much of her body yields to my squeezing and how much of it resists. How can a girl look both so supple and so firm at the same time? She always dresses so conservatively, but there’s no way she can hide her figure—not entirely.
Her breasts aren’t like huge or anything… but they’d definitely feel nice in my hands. Her hips look so squeezable. Her arms, her legs… they have that smooth, impossibly strong feel to them. Her grip makes me quiver every time I can feel it too tight.
Her hugs are the best…
“Yeah, even if she’s okay with you being her magic study-buddy because you can protect the magic books from being swiped up, or noticed, or anything like that… Her hot bod is not why you’ve got it bad.” It helps. Her ass alone, so tight it looks like it could crack open walnuts. Not that I’d waste my time trying that if I had the chance… Her thighs… Mmm what would it feel like to be crushed by those thighs, to have mine grinding between hers and hearing her pant and plead and moan into my ear?
She’s strong, so strong… and she’s really, really smart… But it would be so easy to overpower her with the right spell. I could write one of the sigils that makes muscles loose and weak onto a piece of paper, slap it onto her ass, and she’d be helpless. All of that strength wouldn’t matter if she couldn’t make a fist or even stand without feeling every joint giving way.
Fuck, now I’m drenched. I reach under my shorts, and past the waistband of my panties. So wet. Thinking of Chastity always gets me so hot. I can hold it in when we’re together, but only because I take care of that sort of thing when I’m alone. Mm. If only she knew…
I stare over at the batter. I could flick my fingers across it, and she’d be tasting my pussy. She’d probably never know it. It would probably bake out.
That wouldn’t be nearly as insidious as casting a spell on them. Ooh. My fingertip circles my clit and my eyes cross. My thighs clench hard around my hand, but I don’t stop rubbing. It’d be really easy to find the right spell. Maybe a love spell. Maybe just a love spell. She could take a bite, and then I could wear a skirt to the library… She’d just find herself really needing to crawl under my skirt more and more with each bite until she fucking begged me to let her be a little dyke slut eating me out like her life depended on it!
I’d command her to cum while she buried her mouth in my pussy, her own fingers between her legs, so when I was done I could suck them clean. She’d look so good with her face glistening with my pussy juice, her eyes staring up at me with mindless, helpless oblivion. Oohh. Fuck!
Why is it the unethical fantasies that always make my pussy feel like it’s going to melt me down and make it so I can’t do anything that doesn’t make it burn and clench?
If I had control… Mmm I could just fix everything. I could melt away her silly Catholic inhibitions and make her such a dirty, naughty, filthy little slut. She’d wear her skirt so much shorter. She’d pop open a few more buttons… Mmm the Sacred Heart wears a tie with their uniform. Maybe I’d make her wear a collar that the tie hid, just enough… but so when I grabbed it and lead her around like a pet it would line up like a leash…
I could have her between my legs, my nails in her hair, while I read my manga. I could loom over her, a hand pushed to the wall next to her head as I looked into her eyes and watched all of the will, all of the light, all of the force of her strong personality just drip out between her legs. Fuck I want it so bad, I want to be her girlfriend, I want to be her Mistress, I want to own her like the hot little sexpot she is! My clit is on fire, and I can’t stop rubbing faster and faster and faster. It’s a rhythm I never found before I started studying with Chastity. Nothing has ever made me so hot. Nothing has ever made me want, need, burn, ache, crave like Chastity does.
If this isn’t love, then I don’t know what is. I want her this bad, but I just do my best to be a good friend. I want her so bad that sometimes I read the naughty spells and make myself cum just imagining how red Chastity’s face gets when she sees them… but I’ve never used one.
Love spells aren’t hard. I could use one on her. I could make her my devoted, helpless, love sick little slut! She’d love it. I’d love it. I’d have her bent over her own desk, fucking her with a magical strap-on, or with my fingers, or kneeling behind her and sucking on her pussy with my fingers buried deep inside of her to make her scream in every little way that I can all at once.
I want to taste her! I want to be the first girl to make her cum! So, so close now. My breathing is so ragged I’m starting to see spots in the corners of my vision.
Chastity is such an athletic girl. She’s so strong. She’d probably be able to go all night, over and over again. I’d need breaks, I’d need to catch myself and get a chance to recover, but then I’d want her again and again and again. I want to shove her onto her back, bind her ankles and wrists with magical chains that look like rose vines, every needle pricking her and filling her with such overpowering lust while I fucked her face and made her glisten more than she could after any other work out!
I want her to be my slave, my little toy, my little fuck pet to take care of and love and pet and savor and make her feel how good it would feel to just give up all of those silly things that keep her looking so proper and good and right and fuck I can’t hold it back!
My toes curl as I scream out her name, thankful that I’m the only one home as I slide down the counter and collapse on the kitchen floor still rubbing my throbbing clit as my legs shudder and shake. My shorts are definitely ruined now.
Fuck. It might have worked. She might just be more of an ass girl than a tits girl and wearing tight t-shirts isn’t the right trick to get her to notice. I could try cleaning them…
The timer goes off and I almost pull something trying to stumble up to my feet before I remember… right… that’s for the batter to be ready to go in, not for them to be done cooking.
As much fun as it is to imagine Chastity as my mind fucked slave who eagerly eats food I bake just full of my juices, that doesn’t sound… hygienic? I mean I want her to lick them up so that doesn’t sound like the right word… it isn’t fair to her, to say the very least? I decide to wash my hands before I pour the batter into the pan.
I’d happily lick my fingers clean if Chastity asked me to do it for her, but I’d also really like to try reading the latest volume of the Dream Knights manga even if I already read the scanlation online… and cum stained pages sounds fucking embarrassing.
Once my hands are clean, and I take a little extra time to make sure with how dirty they feel, I carefully pour in the batter. All of Neptune’s oceans can’t clean my dirty mind, but they can make it so Chastity doesn’t smell cum all over my hands. Maybe I’ll take a shower before I go to meet her at the library, after the baking is done. As much fun as it is to imagine seducing her to the very, very queer side of things… realistically?
Unless I use magic, Chastity is never going to even notice me as anything more than a friend who can’t keep up with her. Unless I use magic, I’ll never get more than a hug. Unless I use magic, we’ll always just be friends.
I sigh as I slide the tray into the oven, and set the timer again. It’s hard to not feel glum. I want to be a good friend, but I also want her. I love her.
Better to suffer in silence than to make it her problem.
Every step I take out of the kitchen I can feel my drenched panties make lewd wet squishing sounds. Definitely taking a shower, and reading one of the lewder Dream Knights doujinshi first.
It’s Friday, and I really don’t have time to bake her anything before we meet up on Saturdays… but maybe for Monday I’ll bake her some ladyfingers.
I plop down on the couch, and lift up the manga, staring at the pink haired swordswoman on the front with long elegant wings, flanked by her red clad blonde ally dressed in red, with their heavily armored blue wearing ally between them. In the far corners is a white haired shrine maiden holding a bow, and a woman with long black hair dressed like what the manga artist thought a Napoleonic general would wear holding an old flintlock rifle.
Yes. Next Monday, I’m making Chastity some ladyfingers. It might be the only way that my fingers are going to wiggle their way inside of her, but I don’t care.
If my fingers can make her moan with delight that’s really all that I want.
We always meet on the second floor of the Gordias Library of the Arts. It’s the best place for us to meet and be in a corner together where no one will notice—out of the way enough so that if one of her classmates were to suddenly be here and not in their school’s library she’d be able to notice and I could stash the books with my stuff.
I’d say that I kinda hate being her dirty little secret, but the truth is that I just wish the secret was dirtier.
It’s a big library, which is part of why I love it. We met because we were both grabbing for the same book at the same time. Just thinking about it makes my heart flutter. How romantic is that? Me, reaching for a book. Her hand closing over mine as she thought she’d be feeling the spine of a book but instead she’s touching my skin. She laughs, blushing, pulling her hand away, trying to apologize, trying to make some excuse for what she’s doing, and then…
But it didn’t really turn out like that, not exactly. I mean, it wasn’t really like that at all. The book was on a table, one of the counter like tables near the windows that people like to sit at and sip coffee while looking all serious. We both approached it not even noticing each other, and when we spotted the book, we both grabbed for it.
I was the one that grabbed her hand, and at first I’d almost been a bit rude. When I saw how worried she was I assured her that it was okay, and introduced myself. It was… close.
People aren’t really one of my strong suits. Before Chastity to say that I had friends would be uhm… over exaggeration. I have people that I talk to in my classes, but I’m going to be graduating in the spring and I don’t think that anyone will be sad if they don’t see me in their college classes.
If I go. Maybe I can get good at this magic thing and get a job as a diviner or making lead turn into something useful like platinum for catalytic converters. By now turning things into gold has to be so figured out that no one pays much for it, right? That’s how that works?
We met in the fall, and back then Chastity had never read much about magic, just a little thing here or there—and it’s impossible to live in Midas City full of magic and wonder and not know that magic is very much real. I’d already been studying a few things here or there. When we first met I was the advanced one helping her out with pointers. Now…
Ah! She starts coming up the stairs, and I see her long, sexy blonde hair before I see anything else. You could tie her up with that hair. There’s more than enough of it. You could wrap it around her wrists, around her ankles, and then just go to town.
She’d probably be able to rip herself free with how fucking strong she is, but that’s not the way my fantasy goes… not that I should think about it now. No repeats of earlier. Not now.
Like always I wait for her to make her way up the stairs. Chastity might be a proudly proclaimed straight girl who is never seen without a crucifix, but she doesn’t mind hugs. She doesn’t even mind when I surprise her every time we meet by wrapping my arms around her and pulling her back against me as tight as I can. It never seems like it’s a very tight hold from her perspective, but it’s the tightest thing I can muster.
Maybe she likes strong girls… I don’t think I stand a chance of being strong enough for her to notice me if that’s the case. Even if I worked out every day for the rest of my life I don’t think that I’d be strong enough to even tackle Chastity.
Maybe she’s into blondes? My own hair is short and black… not too short, just ya know, short. Do I dress too plain? Am I too pale? Maybe her guilt about studying magic means that I’d need to be a pure influence on her, not one that’s supposedly further corrupting her immortal soul? Or does she want me to corrupt her, to seduce her, to kiss her and make her promise to give her soul to me?
Fuck. No. Stop that. Bad clit. No seducing me into thinking naughty thoughts about my best friend before we spend an afternoon studying together. The last thing I need to do is ruin a second pair of panties today.
She finally makes her way up the stairs and I take a deep breath. She never looks behind her when she gets past the stairs. Does she like me hugging her like this? I hope so!
Before she can get the idea in her head to finally turn around, I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight. She’s short, and I’m not super tall, but it does mean I get the fun of feeling my breasts press into the back of her head. Maybe I could put some magical mind control powers into my tits. That seems dangerous, and I’d probably end up with a cup size I’d need to order online, not to mention the star metal spine I’d need to keep me upright…
“Hi, Chas!” She’s laughing. I’m always a little bit worried before she starts laughing. She never… doesn’t… but a part of me is always really worried until she does anyway. Am I worried that eventually I won’t be worth her time anymore? I mean, of course I am, obviously, but… Ugh. I hate this feeling. “I hope that school went all right today!”
“Hey Em! Yeah, it went really great!” She hugs my arms, and I just want to swoon against her. I don’t, but I really, really want to. How is she just so loveable? Something about her just makes me want to squeeze her and never let go. Maybe it’s her smile Maybe it’s how pure and innocent she is? I don’t think fucking her rotten would spoil that. She’s just such a good person. “I was looking forward to meeting up with you all day, and… Ooo…” She sniffs at the air, and I try to not quiver imagining that she can somehow smell my fingers stained with lust form so many endless sessions masturbating thinking about her. “What smells so good?”
I grin brightly. Even if it isn’t my cum that she’s smelling, it’s not like it isn’t something that I’m responsible for. That’s a good thing. I still did something that made her happy.
As much as thinking about Chastity makes me into a dirty slut I really do… care.
Letting go of her is something that I never ever want to do, but I know I’ll have to eventually. I resist the urge to kiss the top of her head as I pull back and slide off my backpack to reach in and pull out a small fancy treat bag. I’d get the pink one with little white hearts all over it, but I think she might get the wrong message and think that I was trying to pressure her.
So instead it’s a pretty, mystical purple covered with different shapes and colors of stars. I hold it up, and sway it infront of her nose. “I made you some blueberry muffins! The crumble topping didn’t turn out quite perfect, but I think you’ll still like it. I hope you’ll like it.”
“You’re good at making things like this, I’m sure I’ll love it.” Chastity smiles up at me like a girl who has never had another girl break her heart. Jealous. So. Very. Jealous.
My cheeks still burn up, and I pull the bag open with a smile. “Aw… Thanks, Chas. I hope you like blueberry. I couldn’t remember if you do or not.”
Liar. I am such a fucking liar. I have kept detailed notes on what flavors of everything she likes. She’s the one girl I know that you can’t win her heart with chocolate, so I’ve all but stopped baking with chocolate—except white chocolate sometimes. She doesn’t hate it, she just thinks it’s boring. She loves blueberry. Maybe because it’s so sweet. Maybe because it goes great with a lot of things. All I know is there was no way this was going to miss hitting the mark unless I burned them—and I was super careful to not do that.
Chastity smiles and reaches a hand in. The gold ring she wears looks really pretty on her hand, and makes me wonder what she’d look like wearing an engagement ring. I wouldn’t get her one with a diamond on it. Besides that diamonds are tacky, they’re all sorts of socially irresponsible.
I’d make her a magical engagement ring with a sapphire, her birthstone. I’d make it so just looking inside of it showed her shooting stars, or angel wings, or… something.
I have it so fucking bad.
“Mmm!” She takes a bite, and quickly nibbles away at it. Her eyes even flutter. That’s how much she enjoys my baking. She’s always seemed to appreciate it, but… it’s seeing little things like that, the little things there’s no way she could fake if she wanted to… things like that, they make me happier than the thought of forcing her to be my little pussylicking slave. Most of the time. “That’s really… really good! I love them!”
“Awesome! I’m really glad that you like my muffins.” Oh fuck did I almost just slip all over that sentence. I mean, it’s what I was thinking when I found the recipe. Of course I was. Just thinking of saying how glad I am that she enjoys eating my muff made me giggle for an hour.
I had to practice not saying it in front of a mirror.
It seems to have paid off. Chastity smiles, and I grab up my backpack as she eats a little bit more. She really likes my muffins. She really likes me. Even if she doesn’t like me, if she likes me… I can settle for that. I mean, having friends is a good thing, right? Isn’t the power of friendship one of the most important things… ever…?
Manga has been lying to me all of my life if it isn’t.
“Not loving your muffins would be a sin.” Chastity winks, giggling as she takes another bite. She might be super pious, and what Catholic school girls supposedly should be instead of the fetish, but at least she doesn’t take herself too seriously.
Probably wouldn’t be here with me if she did.
“Well I don’t know about that… and aren’t you not supposed to worship… uhm… graven baked goods?” What does graven even mean anyway? I should look it up, since she’ll expect me to know it now. No way does a girl like Chastity not know, so I have to know it before the next time we meet up. “Oh, so, I figured we could go over more of what we were yesterday… but tomorrow… so I’ve been trying to find a book, and I haven’t been able to? Like, a novel…” Romance. I don’t tell her what sort of pairing it has. “And there’s a little used book store on Murray and Schocktty… I was thinking maybe we could go tomorrow and look around together? They might have something hidden away! It’s this little store, so…”
Inviting her to come with me to look for a lesbian romance novel is probably a bad idea. If they have the book, I can find a way to buy it without her noticing. Maybe. A place like that, though? Small, out of the way, but in a part of town that isn’t the most overbuilt? There’s no way that there’s not some piece of arcane knowledge in there.
Finding a book about real magic that is both affordable and available is… to say a pain in the ass would be way too generous. To this day I haven’t been able to find a single one. It’s probably too much to ask for some romantic luck to help us find one together.
Buying it and keeping it with me all the times that we study together really wouldn’t be too much of a pain if it made Chastity smile. I really want to make Chastity smile. I really, really want to make Chastity smile. When she does as we make our way over to the corner spot where we met, the corner spot where we always study together, I’m happier than I can put into words. I’d probably be happier if I’d snuck a love potion in the muffin batter, but that’s really not a good idea.
Knowing her, she’d find some way to resist it and I’d never see her again.
Yes, Emily. The only reason that you shouldn’t try to mind control the girl you love is because she’d resist it. Yeesh am I all kinds of fucked up. Maybe she shouldn’t like me.
“That sounds like a great idea! We really should try to hang out more when we aren’t studying.” Chastity smiles at me, and it makes my heart melt. No. She should like me. She should really, really like me. “Do you still want to meet up… here? I still have to do stuff in the morning on Saturdays… but it doesn’t take too long.”
That might actually give me time to make her some ladyfingers. They aren’t too tricky to make. I’d need to share some with my mom, but I’m sure that she wouldn’t mind. I’d just have to not thinking about what that meant. She’s definitely going to tease me about making them, though…
I talk about Chastity all the time, and it’s not like I make a secret of being a lesbian. Chastity doesn’t know. At least, she doesn’t know because I’ve told her, because I haven’t. It’s not really important. I forget how I found out that she was straight.
Probably some comment about ‘not all girls in Midas City are lesbians’ that I had to laugh and agree with. She was kind enough not to ask. If she knew, the muffins would tip her off, right? I mean who makes muffins for a girl they don’t even love when mostly all they do together is study magic and talk about life stuff occasionally when one of them is stressed out? Mostly me, now that I think about it. Chastity never lets life get to her. I don’t know how she does it, with how much she’s juggling…
If someone told me that she was dressing up in white and going out to kick ass as a super heroine late at night I’d probably believe it. She’s strong enough. She could juggle that, too.
“Not a problem, really! Besides, it’ll give me a chance to sleep in!” I smile, and drop down the book, turning to the bookmark before grabbing out my notes. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep in, looking forward to seeing her. Going out on a date to find a magic book is like so many of my fantasies coming true all at once. “Oh, and I was actually having trouble with what we were talking about yesterday…”
“Really?” Chastity smiles at me, pulling out her own notebook and turning it towards me so I can see. “If you look at the way the magical components are being used here compared to other spells, and the ways they’re channeling the magic… It’s basically the same as a protection spell, it’s just being used… not offensively? But proactively. By changing this out, instead of being passive, it seems out anything that might trigger it to activate, which you’d change by modifying this part of the spell here, and if you used a larger ritual circle to make it cover a larger area of space it would probably take more of these components to keep the magic form becoming unreliable at the edges of the radius…”
My heart sinks. No way should she like me. I’m a fake. I’m an idiot. how could I not notice that? It looked to me like they were reworking the way something like a bolt would work, but that would have totally different components, totally different incantations… You’d need the flow to be so different…
Chastity is going to be an Archmagus before she’s twenty five and I’ll be lucky if I can throw a missile at the darkness.
Maybe she deserves someone better than me, after all…
I can’t let her see how much her saying that has crushed my will to live. She’d feel bad. Instead I just smile brighter and nod, scribbling down some notes. If I write it far enough she can’t see me write “wow I am such an idiot” and underline it like three times before crossing it out so many times she’ll never be able to read it.
“You’re really good at this, Chastity! I always love getting a look at your insights!” I smile and grab out a muffin to take a big bite to keep my mouth full of something sweet. I can’t taste her muffin, but if I could bury my face in my own maybe I wouldn’t have this problem.
It’s a wonder my metabolism keeps up with all of these sweets.
“It’s because you’re such a good study partner.” She lies to me, but I just decide to pretend to believe her. “Do you want to go over it again, or does that make it make sense?”
“Oh, no, it makes sense now! I think we can move on!” Liar. You are a filthy, dirty, worthless fucking liar who doesn’t deserve to be a mewling slave licking the dirt from the dirt under her boots. Not that Chastity wears boots. That wouldn’t fit her perfect image. She just wears sensible running shoes. They’re probably the same pair she wears on her morning jogs.
How can she be so fucking perfect while I’m such a worthless wreck?
Maybe I should see about growing up in a Catholic boarding school where somehow I get the idea to study magic even though I’m still afraid that it’s going to send me to Hell or something. That’s probably not fair, but it’s hard to not have very unfair thoughts when she’s just showing how perfect and amazing she is. Part of how amazing she is means that I’ll never even get a quick kiss from those lips that isn’t on my cheek.
Maybe my hand.
“Great! Because I’ve been wondering about maybe looking at—”
“How about flying? There’s a spell in there that can form wings… I was thinking that sounded like an interesting thing to try.” I’ve been playing around with it in my room. It’s tricky, and I slammed into the door on my first try, but maybe she can explain that like it was written for a three year old, too, and make me feel like an even bigger idiot.
“Huh… flying. That sounds a little… dangerous? I mean if you flew very high up at all and the spell failed, or if you didn’t see a plane coming…” She always thinks of the most dramatic, over the top scenarios that would never actually come up in real life. It’s just a part of what makes her so beautiful. She sees things in such a pure, innocent, yet over the top way. I just want to make her nuzzle into my chest and stroke that long, long blonde hair forever. “But it could be a lot of fun, if we could figure it out. I agree, that sounds like a good direction for today!”
She’s humoring me. Chastity is always just humoring me. How could she be doing anything else? She’s the magus who gets everything right so naturally. Everything just comes to her. She’s strong. She’s fast. She’s sexy. She’s sweet.
Of course if she even liked girls she wouldn’t like me.
I nod, hoping that my smile is a thousand times more believable than it feels. It is so hard to convince myself that a love potion is a bad idea when I feel this bad about myself. “Yeah, let’s see if we can’t find a way to soar!”
Maybe if we can get flying down I can launch myself into the sun.
I wait at the library, trying not to feel stood up as I stare out the window. I feel like crying, but crying in public would almost be as embarrassing as crying in front of Chastity. The last thing that I want to do is embarrass myself in front of her.
She hasn’t shown up, and she’s not going to show up. I don’t know her phone number. We’re friends, but she lives in a dorm and her life is strictly regimented. She probably doesn’t want anyone knowing about her filthy secular lesbian friend who can’t stop thinking about drugging her and doing terrible things to her against her will. Which is, honestly, pretty reasonable. I won’t want people knowing I was friends with me if I was Chas.
The bag of ladyfingers sits up on the counter, and I stare at it disappointed. I had so many cute lines ready that she wouldn’t get. I was going to tell her that one is never very filling, so she should definitely have at least two or three. Because ladyfingers. Because I want to put two to three fingers deep inside of her pussy.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
The joke isn’t very funny. I feel like the joke. She hasn’t shown any interest in me, and she isn’t going to. I pushed my luck, pushed the boundaries of our friendship too far, and now she’s stood me up. Is it still called standing someone up when it isn’t a date? I mean some people call things like this play dates or… Uuuugh why am I in a library, alone, on a Saturday, expecting Chastity to bounce in and ask why I didn’t keep waiting for her over by the stairs?
I did wait there, but she said she’d be busy in the morning. Early. I know Chastity. Early for Chastity is dawn. Early for chastity ends at nine or maybe ten in the morning. She’s not a normal person, like the rest of us. She’s… superhuman without needing to be meta.
And I thought she’d be interested in spending the day with me in a used book store while I looked for more stories to pretend some of the characters were her and me finally getting to live out some of the desires that I know reality will never make come true. Some things are just supposed to be daydreams. Some dreams just… aren’t meant to happen, and there’s nothing that you can do to make them happen.
Fate is a shitty thing to believe in, but some things are forbidden for a reason. They hurt people, or they’re so next to impossible for a reason you should actually carefully consider. Chastity stood me up. I should just go on my own. If I don’t go soon, I know I’ll lose my nerve and go home.
Maybe being a sinning magic user is finally getting to her, and I’m not going to stop. I’m going to keep doing magic until I’m at least as good as she is, and then… I mean what else do I have? I can’t do a lot with my life reading manga.
What would Kitagawa Atsuko, the dream knight of love, do…
Not that I’m Atsuko. I’m not nearly that spunky, energetic, or forward. I’m more like… I don’t know… Umeka! She’s the girl with the big doofy glasses who loves her senpai so much that she doesn’t even notice when Atsuko flirts with her. So I guess I’ll just keep fixating on the woman I am way too crazy for, and see if I can’t find that book. Maybe she just got busy, and… if I can find something, we can read it together. That is… if she wants to, anyway.
If she doesn’t, I’ll just do it on my own. I’ll probably meet someone else eventually, right? I mean… I’m only eighteen. I have my whole life ahead of me… right…?
I bite one of my ladyfingers in half, swallowing it after chewing it with all of the anger and frustration and sorrow that I can muster. Yeah. My whole life is ahead of me. My whole life is ahead of me, and I’m going to uhm… Accomplish a lot, and meet a lot of really pretty women.
I toss the rest of the ladyfingers into the nearby trash and lose my grip on my tears by the time I get to the stairs.
There are plenty of pretty girls out there… but only one of them is Chastity Allen.
Weisman’s Shelf really is a tiny bookstore. It’s not the smallest independent store I’ve ever gone into, but I admit when I found it online it seemed like it was going to be bigger in person. More… extravagant. Coming here with Chastity probably would have been cramped. That would have made it easier to find excuses to let her brush up against me, but every time I do things like that I’m sure that she’s going to figure things out.
Besides, I really don’t want to just… publicly molest her? Or to use her like some kind of sex toy to get off in public. I don’t even have any pictures of her. They’d probably all get ruined.
I’m not sure if tearstains or cum stains would be worse to admit, but they’d both be there.
“Welcome! Let me know if you need any help!” The woman behind the counter gives a wave as I step in, and I smile nervously and wave back with a nod. I don’t really want any help. I might ask if the more… normal… book that I’m looking for isn’t here, but how do you ask if someone has a real magical tome sitting around? Grimoires of real magic don’t go cheap. If the place knows what its worth then I won’t be able to afford it anyway.
Then again, these days, couldn’t someone make copies, and wouldn’t only the original be worth the ridiculous price? Are there any zines of magic lore? I don’t know about any zines, besides that they’re a thing I don’t really understand, but now I feel like I’m missing out.
I end up wandering over to the romance section, and sighing. Love and Lies. I was really trying to find a way to ask Chastity. It’d be romantic, but she’d never be into it. At least it doesn’t have as provocative a name as Cross My Legs. The Negligees and The Noose would probably get her to try and have a priest perform an exorcism. I always felt really bad for Amanda in that one, though. She had always loved Celia. It wasn’t her fault what happened to Lorraine. She’d even tried to help.
At least I was convinced that she’d tried to help. Otherwise she didn’t deserve Celia, and I’d be so angry at her instead of wanting to give her a hug. But anyone that can read that story and not cry… Really, I don’t know if they’re human.
Chastity probably wouldn’t get far enough into the story, if the name of the author didn’t tip her off on its own. Then again… why would she know? She’s sheltered as heck. I’d be surprised if she’d ever even heard of her, or any of her books. Love and Lies just sounds like a romance with some suspense or some sort of mystery. I can’t imagine her jumping to the conclusion that it’s a story about a woman finding out that her mother was involved in a magical lesbian cult.
It’s probably my favorite story, too. Well, my favorite prose story. It’d be hard to say if I love that more than the Dream Knights, especially if I pretend some of those doujins are canon…
I wonder if I could tell Chastity enough about Atsuko for her to admire Atsuko as a fellow swordswoman who fights to protect the weak without letting Chastity realize that she’s an incorrigible lesbian who flirts with every girl she ever meets? Chastity flirts with me all the time without realizing it, but since she doesn’t realize it I don’t think she’d give Atsuko a break…
I grin and pull out a copy of Steel Love Trap. I’ve been looking for one of these for… entirely too long. Some people say it’s her most romantic story. Some people say it’s her kinkiest story. After Love and Lies, I don’t see how that could even possibly be true.
Given that Love and Lies is able to be adapted into a stage play, though… I guess most of the really smutty things are more implied off screen. It really was more about the romance than the heat. I hug the book to my chest and sigh. Maybe it’s what I need to try getting over Chastity: some good romance.
Just in case there’s something there, I decide to check the occult section. It’s not like I don’t fit the bill for it. Black hair. Black jeans. A white t-shirt with black sleeves. Right? That’s a look for this kind of place? I guess?
Ritual books for various new agey religions kinda seem cute after you start being able to make flowers bloom if you talk to them right. I don’t disrespect the idea of being spiritual or anything, it just feels a little silly to call it magic. But I guess a lever is still technology even if we still have computers… right? I should probably stop being so much of a magic snob. That can’t be a good look for me.
I hit the religion section and wince. Maybe, if they have anything really rare, it ended up misplaced? I mean any book that is going to have real magic isn’t going to have an ISBN so it’s just going to end up wherever. I’ve heard this place has been around for a long time, so who knows what they have and don’t even know it.
My finger hits a book with as spine that feels like it’s bound in leather. When I lift it up I almost drop it. The cover has to have metal inside of it. The title itself looks damaged, probably by age or someone trying to burn it…? I can’t tell.
Under where the title should be is a brief bit of spidery, cursive handwriting. I read it aloud, quietly under my breath. “A compendium of lore on the sacred and the sorcerous…”
Before I can make my way to the front of the store, someone grabs my shoulder. I almost leap a foot in the air. Did she hear me talking to myself? Did the woman behind the counter think that I was going to steal it? Was this book supposed to be stashed away, hidden in the back to be preserved or studied? Thankfully I don’t scream.
“Ah, excuse me! I didn’t want to startle you with my voice, and I’ve startled you with my touch instead. I’m very sorry.” Her voice sounds familiar. It’s feminine, mature, and something about it just feels… wet? I can’t put my finger to exactly why. It’s sexy, yes, but I don’t mean wet like that. I mean it almost feels like something is dripping off of it, but that wouldn’t be quite right…it’s more like it feels slick as it teases my ears. “I just couldn’t help but notice the book you just found.”
“U-uh, y-yeah. It’s probably a lot of silly nonsense, right…?” I laugh nervously, and hug it to my chest. Steel Love Trap is what’s actually squeezed against my t-shirt, but it’s in good company. I hope. “But it seemed uhm… interesting. So I thought that I’d take it home…”
I haven’t even checked the price tag. It probably costs… entirely too much. I’m probably making a fucking idiot of myself. That would be par for the course today though, wouldn’t it?
She laughs, squeezing my shoulder a little tighter. It doesn’t feel scary, more… intimate. Nice. Her voice makes her sound at least twice my age. I am so fucking embarrassed right now. “You don’t think so, sweetie, and neither do I. If you thought that you would have put it back, not held it so protectively. You can tell that it’s an important piece of nonfiction, not fantasy.” Okay, at least she doesn’t think I’m crazy. That’s good. “And what else do you have…?”
With her angle, and her obvious height difference, there’s no way she’s not staring at my chest to notice that I have a second book. It isn’t exactly… unwelcome? Older women aren’t something I seek out or anything—I don’t seek out anything, I just found Catholic school girls that twist my heart into knots apparently—but I’m not about to be upset. “Just uhm. A novel.”
“Really? Then why don’t you show me?” She smiles, and gently nudges my shoulder in a way to direct me to turn. My cheeks burn as I turn, and they glow even brighter when I look up to meet her face. Fuck. “I’m not intimidating you, am I? I’ve been told I can be a bit… dramatic.”
Yana N. Ritter is standing over me, with her hands now on both of my shoulders. Yana N. Fucking Ritter. I mean, it makes sense she’d be in town. Her play is going to be performed in Mallory Hall! But I won’t even be able to afford to go… Having her here, in this little used book store, with such small aisles, feeling her tall, statuesque, hotter-than-sin body so close to mine… Okay, Chastity might have some competition after all.
Well, not really. I love Chastity. I admire Yana. I love her writing. There’s so much I want her to teach me, to show me how she was inspired to write about them… but uhm… even if she wanted me, I don’t think I could give up on Chastity.
I am so fucked.
“Uhm… Haha… Well, this is going to make it look like I expected to meet you here, but uhm…” I lean the grimoire forward so she can see her book behind it. “I haven’t been able to find a copy. Uhm, it came out before I was really reading your work? But I always wanted to read it, so… I figured a place like this might have it, if someone else hadn’t gotten to it first…”
“But what lead you here… was this.” She doesn’t take the grimoire from my hands. Instead, she just rests her hand over it so one of her black nailed fingers can tease along my skin. I tremble, trying not to squeak or mewl. “Wasn’t it?”
I nod breathlessly, staring into her deep, dark eyes. They almost look… black. Wet. Wet the way her voice sounds. My nipples are harder than dream steel right now. Yana Ritter. Here.
Asking her to sign the book would be really silly, probably, right?
Her lips rub together. They’re so… shiny. Shimmering. Wet. Fuck I could just melt into them, or be melted to my knees with just a graze. Her smile is so… amused. Satisfied. She just exudes confidence and sexiness and… oh goodness I just want to gush and fawn all over her but I don’t want to be… intolerable…
Then something in her eyes changes, and she raises a thumb to rub at my face.
Oh. Oh great. I really thought I did a better job of cleaning my face on the way from the library. Of course I fucked that up, too. She rubs a wet finger under my eye, something in her own looking so much sadder. “You’ve been crying.” She doesn’t say it like there’s any question to it at all. She does however say it like it breaks her heart. “What’s wrong?”
Something wet, slick… soft… teases from her fingertip. At least… It feels like it, but there’s no way her finger is that wet. She’s just cleaning my face, not… I can trust her with anything… I want to tell her why I’m sad… maybe she can help me… My thoughts feel wet, and my eyes cross for just a moment, but that’s okay. It’s even okay that I’m a little too aware of how wet I am, or how easy it would be to lose myself in her eyes and just… stop thinking, stop doing anything besides surrendering myself to her over and over again. “I… I’m in love with a girl who doesn’t notice. She’ll never notice… And she stood me up. We were supposed to come here together and… and… and…”
My eyes well up with tears. I can’t help it. It feels so stupid to say. If anyone can help me… I know that it’s her. I trust her with anything. She’s… she’s Yana Ritter. She’s… the most important writer that I’ve ever read and she’s so warm, it’s easy to feel like it’s okay to cry when she keeps rubbing the tears away like this… mmm…
I can almost feel something… slick… black… warm, like ink, teasing through me from the inside. It feels like if I just let it, it can make everything better. My thighs squeeze around my panties and I try not to mewl. That would be… embarrassing… I wouldn’t want to embarrass her... She’s just so… pretty. So… amazing…
“There there, sweetheart. There there… Here…” Her arms wrap around me, and before I can react she’s pulling me into her chest. Yana Ritter is cradling my head to her chest, stroking my hair. I feel so safe, so… good. Her body is so warm, and the longer she holds me the more… right it feels to be close to her. Closer than a lover. Closer than family. I want her to be closer to me than anyone else has ever been… she understands…
My toes curl in my shoes, and my cheeks flush darker. I’m so wet. It feels like I hid a pen between my legs and managed to clench it in half and all of the ink is just… oozing out of me.
Why does that sound way hotter than it should…?
“Th-thank you…” Even if she feels so sexy, so warm, so… safe… I still can’t stop crying. “I love her. Chastity. I really, really love her… We’re… studying magic together, but… She goes to the Sacred Heart, you know, the Catholic boarding-of course not…” I sniffle harder, and nuzzle into her chest a little firmer. Not to feel her more, but to feel safer. I need that right now, more than anything else. I want us to be closer. I need us to be closer. I need to be… so close to her. “Sorry, I just… She’s straight. At least she says she is, but then the ways she smiles, the ways she’s just so casually intimate, the ways she makes me feel, I…
“I love her. Even if it means just being beside her forever, never getting to kiss her, never telling her how I feel, never being honest so she doesn’t run away from me…” I squeeze so much tighter to her, softly kissing wherever my lips reach. Somehow I know that it’s okay. She’ll protect me… She’ll look after me and make sure that things work out okay… as long as I trust her… as long as I let her guide me, everything will be okay…
Everything feels so slick and good. She feels so warm… I’ve fallen in love with someone the first day I met them… how do you fall in… I don’t even know what this is…
Yana kisses the top of my head, and rests her cheek against my hair. “I can feel a very powerful potential inside of you, dear. You’re very, very magical… An old magic that you rarely see…” I quiver. She can feel it…? Of course she can feel it, she’s Yana N Fucking Ritter. I squeeze tighter, melting into her so tight, so close. “I would like to help… train you. Teach you. You have a very potent gift… and I would like to show you how to use it. To help you expand it. My own gift is quite different than yours… but I still believe I can assist you.”
A potent gift…? But the magic I’ve used… it’s all been from a book. I mean, anyone could do it, if they studied it, got the right stuff, really applied themselves… It’s hard as heck, but it’s possible…
But I have an old magical gift? A rare one…?
“H-how…? I-I mean… yes, please… please be my mentor, take me as your apprentice, teach me, please, please, I need your help…” I sniffle, kissing at her chest again. The black of her dress feels wet each time I kiss it, even though it feels dry when I press my cheek against it… Is it raining outside…? I quiver more, holding as tight to her as I possibly can. “Can you tell me more…?”
She nods against my head, squeezing me tighter. I just know whatever she says will be just what I need to hear… I need her to teach me, I need her to empower me, to teach me, to… She cares! She cares that I love Chastity, she… she… wants to help with that, too, I…
“There’s a lot that I could tell you. Without needing to do more than hold you, I can feel your potential. For someone so young… It’s incredibly impressive.” My cheeks burn. I’m not that young. I mean, yes, my last birthday ticked me over legal, but that doesn’t mean… I mean… compared to her… aaah. This feels so awkward in a much better way than I was feeling earlier. The last of my crying is just to get the tears out. I feel so… relieved. I feel so… supported. “I could tell you that your power rests in dreams. I could tell you that love stories are my specialty, and there’s no reason that I would not simply adore helping you find your… happy ending.”
Happy ending… that can only mean being with Chastity. I don’t know if I like most of the solutions that come to mind for that, but… but maybe it won’t take magic. Maybe I can just win over her heart. Maybe I just need to set her free from the Sacred Heart.
Maybe all she needs is to feel, really feel, how much I love her.
“Th-thank you, Yana, I… I don’t know what to say…” The last of the tears fall away, and she kisses just under my eyes. My heart flutters and my thighs squeeze. Yana is going to make everything better. There’s no truth more complete, more solid, more firm. Yana is going to give me everything that I need… My thighs shudder against each other as I let out a breathy moan. It’s embarrassing, but it just… She’s taking such good care of me…
“Say thank you…” She chuckles, rubbing her nose against mine. I feel so much younger, smaller with her… It’s nice. Everything about her is so… nice.
Giggles well up inside of me. I don’t know where I hid so many giggles, but I can’t fight them off once they start coming. “Thank you, Yana… Thank you…” I smile, and it’s the first real smile that I’ve worn since the first hour where Chastity didn’t show up. I feel so much… relief. I feel so much… love.
Yana loves me… it’s not like I love Chastity, but it’s different. It’s a safe, good, right love… I quiver, staring so deeply into her eyes as I feel something wet and slick drip over my clit, pouring, squeezing… Yana is going to make sure that I’m happy… No one ever saw my true potential before her… No one ever wanted to see this, no one ever looked for this… But it’s there, inside of me… And she’s going to let it all loose… She’s going to set me free, and all I have to do is become her apprentice…
Yesss… Her apprentice… My eyes roll back in my head as I fall against her again. Panting. Clutching. Shuddering. I can feel her power. Now that I’m focusing on it, on the edges of my senses I can taste, feel, touch… something wet. Something slick. Something dark, wet, and impenetrable.
No one ever said that Yana Ritter was magic. Something about her power feels, tastes, like ink. I can roll the taste around on my tongue. It tastes as strong as her writing feels.
She must be the strongest magic user alive.
“I’m going to buy this book… for you. I was seeking it out for a long time, you know. It contains magic from…” She pauses. She’s choosing her words very, very carefully. I can’t blame her. I’m hanging on to each and every one of them. Each word has to mean so much, and not mean so many other things. Even if all I’ve ever written before is smutty fan fiction I know that. “A very, very long time ago. A very potent tradition of magic. A tradition that I have a closer connection with by blood, but… perhaps it’s better that it belong to you. Some magic can recognize its own, you know?”
“Y-yes…?” It’s a lie, technically, but I know she can read me like a book. She knows how confused I am. She knows how uncertain I am. “I… I don’t understand. Your magical understanding is so… beyond mine… but I… if you’ll teach me, I’ll… I’ll do my best… I promise…”
Yana nods, and pushes up my chin with a single fingertip. It feels like we’re in our own little world, so removed from everything else… everywhere. She’s so… in control of herself…
She’s so in control of me…
Her lips press to mine, but it doesn’t feel romantic. It doesn’t feel lustful. It feels… stronger than that. Deeper than that. We’re forming a connection… a bond… This is her binding me to her service, as much as binding her to mine. We’re becoming linked, connected, intertwined… I’m becoming hers in a way that I could never be Chastity’s. She’s becoming mine in a way I’ve never wanted from Chastity…
When her other hand slides its fingers between mine and squeezes, I cum without making a sound against her lips or even trembling. I can feel her power inside of me, body and mind.
The kiss breaks, and I quietly pant as the black dots at the corners of my vision start to go away. Maybe I could stand to be in better shape. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea…
I can feel something inside of me… pink and red, tinged with slick black around the edges. I’ve never felt it before but somehow I know that it’s always been there… Reaching for it makes me feel faint and weak, like it’s too heavy for me or too far away. My body doesn’t feel tired, but reaching for it more makes me yawn and slump.
Yana breaks the kiss, and presses a finger to my lips. “None of that yet, sweetheart. Your powers are dangerous as they are powerful. Using them unprepared, especially awake, could lead to any number of unfortunate mishaps that I think we would both like to avoid.”
She winks, and kisses softly between my eyes.
I giggle like a silly five year old girl and nod up at her. “Okay… I won’t try again.”
My mentor nods, smiling and squeezing my hand tighter. Mentor. I have a mentor. I have a woman to teach me how to use magic. I’ve never felt so happy. I’ve never felt so… Safe. “I know, sweetheart. I trust you, just like I know that you trust me…” She chuckles, and rubs her nose against mine again. A little more of the damp dark wet slides off from her nose, and I can feel it sinking into me, pulling my eyes back into my head. “Let me help make that easier…”
So much of that wet black slick heat inside of me squeezes around me, pulsing, throbbing, writhing… I can feel Yana’s control, Yana’s ink, wresting control from my mind. I’m just watching it happen, but it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel bad. It only feels sexy, warm, hot, dripping with every dark desire I’ve ever had all at once.
She follows behind me, her hands on my shoulders, as I make my way to the counter at the front of the shop. I’m walking, but I’m not in control. I’m an ink-puppet, being controlled, directed, guided, like a marionette.
I put the books down. The woman behind the counter says something. I say something, but the sound of ink rushing like a waterfall in my ears is too strong for me to hear past it. The woman laughs, and Yana pays for both books. The woman recognizes her, and Yana offers to return another day and sign some books for her to sell, and any for her personal connection if she’d like.
The books in my backpack, I walk out with Yana. She’s holding my hand again. Squeezing it. Stroking it. She’s so strong, even though her hand feels every bit as soft and delicate as mine. She’s taller, but she’s not really physically imposing… she’s just tall and I’m only an average height…
Chastity would feel so small in front of her… I can’t wait to see it. I’m sure they’ll get along… That would be really cute…
She leads me out to a car, and pulls me into the back seat alongside her. There’s a woman waiting for us in the driver’s seat. Patiently. She would wait for Yana as long as Yana asked her to wait, just like I would. She’s just as much bound up in Yana’s powers, in Yana’s control, as I am. She has short black hair, ending just under the curve of her face. Just like me. Hers is a lot neater, but it matches her mature appearance, and the pretty sunglasses she’s wearing. She looks so smooth, composed.
Inside, I know she’s every bit as wet and slick as I am.
“Sharon, if you would drive us home? I’ll be happy to introduce you to Emily more properly once we can be reunited with Kate and Helena…” Yana grins, and pulls me closer. “Don’t worry, it’s not far… and I can help make the ride go by in a flash.”
“A-aaah… I-I know…” I’m still reeling from feeling her control just… guiding me. Controlling me. It felt so, so good. I can’t imagine being able to do that to Chastity. Just reaching inside of her, grasping her, dragging her around… I’d make her feel so good. I’d kiss her, taste her, everywhere. I’d make her do the same for me… and I’d fulfill each and every little fantasy she’s ever had. “You’re… so strong…”
Yana laughs as the car begins to move. Sharon didn’t even respond except to adjust the rearview mirror so Yana could see her grin. I don’t think she expected to meet me, but something tells me that she didn’t expect to meet Kate and Helena either.
“And that might be nothing next to how strong you are… and what you’re capable of accomplishing.” Her hand rests on my thigh, but I know she’s not going to slide it any higher. Yana wants my romance with Chastity to succeed. She wants us to be together… “Now, I would never presume to take Chastity’s place, Emily dear, but…” Her hand continues to stroke my thigh, before she firmly squeezes. “I’d like to grant you some relief. How does that sound?”
Relief? I feel so relieved already! Crying like that, being held like that… I haven’t felt so much relief in a long time!
My cheeks burn a very dark red as I give a slot, shy nod. “That… that sounds good. Really good, actually. Uhm. If it’s anything like what you did in the store…”
She shakes her head, and raises her hand from my thigh to press to my lips. “Not by half. You’re going to be my apprentice. That means that you need to be able to see how I work.” She shifts closer. Our seatbelts are locked around us. I don’t remember when that happened, but she’s still so close to me. She just cares about my safety. That shouldn’t turn me on even more, but it really fucking does. “So you get to see it. Watch my fingertip, Em.”
I nod, entirely too eagerly. She presses her finger to between my eyes… and from the very tip ink begins to slide out of it. I can feel it, pouring over me, as soon it’s dripping all over my body. Down past my lips. Down along my chin. Splattering down over my breasts. Landing down on my thighs.
There’s so much of it, and it’s so sticky, thick, warm, hot.
There’s so much of it, and the more of it that I feel the more my eyes want to roll back up into my head… The more my legs keep spreading... The more I want to reach a hand between my legs and just start viciously rubbing until I scream.
At once, it stops flowing from her finger, and starts to sink into my body. From so many places, all at once, ink forces its way into my body. Each little droplet, each little piece of it, of her power, resonates with a single command that I can’t even want to fight off. I don’t want to resist it. I can’t resist it. It’s too much. Her power is already inside of it. So much of it is inside of me. Every time I kissed her, more ink soaked into me. Every moment she was holding me, she was filling me with more and more ink… because she didn’t want me to cry over this again.
All of those droplets sink down into the very core of who and what I am, and scream that single word so loud it’s all I can hear or feel or think or know.
My mind and body obeys as I shudder and shake, convulsing out of control on her back seat. I’ve never felt so hot or wet, so slick, so drippy and hot and wet and just spent. I groan and collapse into the seat behind me. My eyes can’t focus on anything, but it doesn’t matter. It feels to good, and more than anything else I know that Yana will take care of me.
I try to whine her name, but my mouth feel so full of ink. I feel so overfull that ink is pouring from my lips, from my eyes, from my ears… I groan, fluttering my eyes. My eyelashes feel so heavy with it. My body feels so heavy with it.
The only thing that would make this moment better was if I could share it with Chastity…
“Rest now, my darling little Em. I’m going to take you home with me to introduce you to your new… sisters… and then we’ll start your lessons. You’ll be sleeping at your own home tonight, but you’ll always be carrying a piece of me inside of you… Not the same as the piece of Chastity that you hold inside… but soon…” She sighs, and melts her lips to my forehead. I quiver, feeling so exhausted. So tired. So warm. Good. “Soon, with powers like yours… you’ll be able to be with her asleep or awake, asleep and awake…And there’s no way that anyone could not see how lovable, sweet, amazing, and simply delightful you are.
“But for now, sleep, and dream of pleasures to come…” She smooths my hair with such a gentle, maternal touch. It doesn’t feel like the way my mother does it. This feels more… tender. More… I don’t even have the words for it. If I was a woman of words like Yana, maybe I’d know the right word. As it is, all I know is that it feels so perfect.
If my mother made me feel like this I’d probably spend a lot more time at home cuddled up to her watching television like we did when we were younger.
My eyes flutter closed, and I hold the image of Chastity eating my muffins tight in my mind. Her smile was so bright. Her eyes lit up. I should have told her that I made them because I knew that they were her favorite. She wouldn’t think that was weird. Friends do nice things for friends, and who is going to be upset that someone remembered their favorite kind of muffin…?
I sigh and nestle more into the car as Yana’s quiet humming and slow caressing makes it easier and easier to relax and start to drift.
Chastity… I’m sorry for whatever happened to make you not show up… but I’m going to see you again, and I’m going to be so much better.