The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

A lot of things can happen in two seconds, especially when you’re an AI with more computational horsepower than an international company’s data center.

Sure, SAI noticed when Guru Meditation put his incredibly basic subroutines all over the magical game console some twenty minutes ago, too focused on his hacking to realize Clover was here with the evil version of the team. And, while she and the three other corrupted Mystery Girls were giddily waiting for Tatsuki to emerge equally villainified and complete their new gang, she did notice the console massively upgraded its own power somehow. A fraction of a second later, she was satisfied to see Tatsuki had been enslaved and turned into a dragon girl. But as soon as her lips began to relay that information at a speed her meatbag friends could understand, she saw that Tatsuki’s mistress was grooming her to be powerful and strong-willed again. With every millisecond that passed, SAI got increasingly worried. Guru Meditation had been dead wrong. Haruka wasn’t working for Skull at all.

When the game console emitted a beam of light, materializing Tatsuki in the cartoon world again, SAI backed off in pure fear. She was supposed to be intangible, but Clover had proved that if the story required her to get her ass kicked, she would become material again. And you didn’t want to be both material and aggravating in front of Tatsuki when she was human. Now, she had the strength of a dragon.

And so, during a few microseconds, SAI could bask in the sight of a rapidly approaching horned forehead. Not enough time to dodge, but enough time to come to terms with her own mortality. Also, to think “fuck” a lot.

By the time the newly minted villainesses even realized what had happened, SAI was embedded into a wall three rooms behind them.

“Shit,” Groaned Tatsuki. “I thought Skull would be the one standing there. Sorry Bets.”

“What the hell, Tsuki ?” Yelled Dark Aster. “Have you lost your mind ? You’re on our side now !”

“And just what do you base this stunning display of reasoning on ?” Queried the dragon girl, checking her claws.

“Well...you’re a fucking dragon. That’s pretty much an universal symbol of badness.”

“You have a funny way of spelling “occidental”, Leo.”

Tatsuki banged her fists together, creating a small shockwave. After seeing the supposedly invulnerable SAI break two walls without her consent, the three remaining corrupted girls backed off in fear. An upgraded Tatsuki wasn’t just bad news, it was an emergency broadcast.

“Aight. Where is Skull ? I have all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings to flatten him with.”

“Like I’m going to let your barbaric ass anywhere close to Master !” Snarled Aster, conjuring her shadow hands.

“Yeah...” Sighed Acantha. “I suppose getting my summoner killed ain’t exactly good for my sex record.”

“Ho ho ho...” Ominously chuckled Clover. “I wonder if ya’ve got cold blood.”

“Hmpf. Another Tatsuki from another dimension might have been surprised Clover had been owned, but I’m not. I don’t especially want to hurt you, girls...Only a little.”

Assuming a fighting stance, the asian dared the three of them to attack. Clover was the first to do so, materializing her candy canes in a flash and charging with a frenzied yell, her red eyes glowing. The attack was swift and precise, but Tatsuki blocked the canes with her scaly forearms. That would have been the end of that, but suddenly, the canes’ red stripes unraveled and started whirling around. Tatsuki dashed backwards, dodging the impromptu whips.

“Attacking me with cheerleader techniques. You’re the only one a move this lame would suit so well.”

“Wait until it touches yer skin, hun...It’ll send tingles down your spine.”

“Pretty sure that’s not what boredom feels like.”

Out of nowhere, figuratively, and out of right behind Tatsuki, litterally, a shadow hand sprouted forth from the ground and tried to smash her. It didn’t even elicit a startled jump, however, as it got cut clean by a powerful whip of her dragon tail.

“Ooooh, I’ve got to get myself some of that.” Hungrily commented Acantha.

“Yeah, great.” Sighed Aster. “Be disgusting in front of the pissed-off Tatsuki. Amazing plan.”

“I don’t care, I’m both immortal AND masochistic.”

“Being partnered with a demon sucks.”

Tatsuki decided she had enough of this banter and stomped on the ground. A shockwave made all three of her former friends stagger. In the blink of an eye, she was on Aster and Acantha, and knocked them out by banging their heads together. Then, she turned to clover, and slowly walked towards her.

“Sorry I wasn’t able to come back in time, Clov.”

“Don’t be, hun...” She replied, grinning. “They just sped up the process, reckon I was already set to become evil and sadistic when I put on this here outfit.”

“I’m not that familiar with Christmas but isn’t Santa supposed to be a better dude than that ?”

“Nobody gets to decide what Santa is like besides Santa himself. He needed me to become merciless should he need me for some punishin’. When I ain’t called, I can do as I please. Reckon I ain’t gonna hang out with Skull and the new gang ‘round December, but yeah, I’m still an independent contractor.”

“You’re not supposed to be a villain, Clov. Not you.”

“I ain’t a villain ! I’m retribution. I just hang out with my friends...The friends you’ve just beaten down into submission, ya traitor !”

“You’re not my friends.”

“Screw you, who matters more, morals or us ?”

“That’s...actually a pretty good question. I’ll ponder it after I kick your ass.”

To illustrate her point, Tatsuki dashed toward Clover and let out a deafening roar. The boogeygirl let her canes drop and reached for her ears, and was projected to the ceiling with a physically impossible uppercut. Having struck her head on both the ceiling and the floor, Clover figured it was high time for a nap. Letting out a disappointed “heh”, Tatsuki reached down to pick up the two candy cane weapons. Perhaps not so surprisingly, tendrils of blood began to grow and attack the dragon girl. Unwilling to take shit from inanimate objects, she crushed them on the floor, whereupon they dissolved in puddles of blood.

“Stay down, girls. I’ll find someone to cure you right after I kill the guy who has done this to us.”

Suddenly, gunshots were fired, and Tatsuki deflected them with her scales. Over the loudspeakers, SAI’s voice could be heard.

“Okay. Fuck. That. Noise. I’m sticking to pure AI from now on.”

“Bullets in a cartoon ? Really ?”

“Yeah, I know, we only have the anti-accuracy ammo in here. Still. Your attention. Do I fucking have it ?”

“Maybe. Talk, we’ll see if I begin singing out loud.”

“I’ve been scanning your game right before you emerged. You were enslaved by a character there.”

“Yep.”

“She turned you into a monster and you opposed no resistance.”

“Of course not. She’s my Mistress and I love her with all my heart. Your point ?”

“My point is, you have no goddamn right to patronize us, Tsuki ! Play hero if you want, but you’re the one that drifted away the most !”

“Hmpf.”

A long silence. One by one, the fallen Mystery Girls got back on their feet, growling.

“That’s the card you’re going to pull, Bets ?” Continued the dragon. “Unity ? Give me a break. Skull destroyed you. Sold you to whatever obscure villain wanted some catharsis. You’re hollow. We won’t be back together until you’re cured. Am I the same person as before ? Of course not, but my Onee-sama loves me. She’s okay with me being a part of the cartoon world, she just wants me to have a goddamn background ! You...You didn’t get your character developed. You were just reworked. Changed, dryly, because hey, wouldn’t be really neat if those silly Mystery Girls got all metal and sexy and shit ? I’m not patronizing you. You’re victims. That said, I sure as hell won’t let you defend Skull.”

Surrounded by Aster, Acantha and Scarlet Clover, not to mention the security system operated by SAI, Tatsuki showed no fear. If anything, she seemed annoyed. But as the uncertainty concerning the conditions of the upcoming fight and the amount of mud therein grew, a familiar voice boomed over the loudspeakers.

“What’s that ruckus, girls ? Yet another way Acantha found to cause destructive orgasms ? Or are you still having trouble restraining your hands, Aster ?”

“No, Master.” Answered the latter. “Tatsuki’s here.”

“Ooooh, great, great ! Hey, Tatsuki, you’ve got such timing. I was fomenting this here plan involving Japan and a lot of whale-mounted glue guns and...”

“She’s not with us, Master.”

The cheer died in Doctor Skull’s mouth.

“Oh, shit, the guys inside the game console blew it, didn’t they.”

“She’s been enslaved, but her Mistress actually made her even more powerful. Some sort of dragon hybrid.”

“...Fuck. Me. I knew I should have gone with goddamn kunoichi. That’s just the golden standard of dealing with the japs. Okay, I’m bringing the heat. Stay p...”

“Huh...Master ?”

“What ?”

“I’m sorry, but...We have decided to be a team again. We need to prove to Tsuki that being together is more important than being heroes.”

“Hmm...” Pensively sighed Skull. “Alright, but don’t go bitching to the unions if she pulverizes you.”

“She won’t. We are the Mystery Girls. Not her.”

Dark Aster set her eyes on her former friend, determined to win, prove her vision right, and why not get back at her for years of snide remarks while she was at it.

“SAI, you have access to our earpieces. Take care of the strategy, we’ll be the muscle.”

“Sure about that ?” Answered the AI. “You’re our leader after all.”

“Yeah, and a shitty strategist.”

“You said it, not me.”

SAI focused and launched a simulation. She ran every parameter there was, replacing experience with sheer volume. She calculated every possible movement from Tatsuki, every likely debris projection from bullets. The individual powers and limits of her three friends. A lot of probabilistic chains ended up with Tatsuki winning with her immense strength, but there were a few openings. She quickly issued orders to her friends, and prayed to the Great Processor in the sky for the plan to go without a hitch.

Scarlet Clover acted first, by creating two Christmas baubles and throwing them on the ceiling above Tatsuki. The tomboy raised an eyebrow, unconvinced by the strategic value of this move. It became apparent, however, when a huge bush of mistletoe sprouted in an instant, burying her.

“Now, Darkie !”

Aster bellowed to gather her strength, summoned one of her shadow hands and curled it up into a fist, aiming for the mistletoe. Tatsuki was busy tearing it up with her claws and tail, and couldn’t dodge the blow. Her scales helped her withstand the impact, but she was nonetheless propelled into the air...where Acantha was waiting for her, flying.

“Hmm...Your hard scales turn me on sooo much, Tsuki. And my tail is jealous of yours.”

“Get yourself spayed, slut.”

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be enough, sweetie. We succubi are pure sex.”

After this spot of banter, the succubus flapped her wings upwards, Tatsuki firmly in her arms, preparing for a holy-shit six-meters-high suplex. The drop was short, but ended with a bang. The asian’s scales did nothing against brutal deceleration, and consciousness left her with a “glrgh”. Acantha had made sure that Tatsuki would face the brunt of the shock, but she was still a little knocked out, and elected to remain on the floor, lovingly nuzzling against those scales. SAI re-appeared in her hologram form to loom over the high-and-mighty Tatsuki. Dark Aster and Scarlet Clover joined her.

“Told you, bitch.” Snarled Aster. “We are the Mystery Girls. Now that we have superpowers, even dragon strength can’t bring us down.”

“Yeah,” continued Clover. “I mean, super strength ? Now that ain’t cliché at all.”

“So what do we do with her now ?” Inquired SAI. “Master should be able to properly re-educate her. We can’t leave her in the clutches of some jap.”

“Hard to work around that dragon stuff, though. Having a big fuck-off tail is no way to do ninjaing.”

They didn’t have the time to come up with better transformations than Skull, though, as a field of energy flowed from Tatsuki, blowing Acantha away. The tomboy then stood up, curling up her fists with a wicked smile.

“Who told you my superpower was strength ? Only Americans can be that base.”

Before her former friends could come up with a witty retort, Tatsuki began to levitate and shrouded herself in fire, burning all the remaining mistletoe in an instant.

“You see, my wonderful Mistress didn’t give me any old power. I am a shonen manga protagonist now. I have the power of no fucks given. You bring me down, I get back up stronger than you, even if that means making gravity my bitch.”

“Oh shit, this is bad.” Incisively analysed SAI.

“I can’t make a suplex without Newton !” Whined Acantha. “He’s my homie ! I’m so good at making shit fall that there’s even a piece of fanart of us fistbumping on DeviantArt !”

“You’ll brag later, girl ! Can’t you see we’re about to become two-dimensional ?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Leo.” Mocked Tatsuki. “I think that would be an improvement for you.”

Provoked, insulted, Dark Aster yelled in rage and swung a shadow hand at the Japanese girl. To her shock, the darkness dissolved upon making contact.

“Wha...What the fuck...” She stammered in bewilderement. “You can’t just shut me down, that’s bullshit !”

“Not so psyched to be a villain anymore, heh ?”

Unraveled, Aster didn’t move a finger as Tatsuki glided towards her with a condescending gaze.

“Now if you’re done forcing me to kick your ass, I’d appreciate if you got the hell out of my sight. I have a Skull to crack.”

Not a sound went through her lips. She wanted to stop Tatsuki. She was too powerful. Doctor Skull was in serious danger. Hell, every villain in the world was in serious danger. And knowing her hard-headedness, Aster wouldn’t put defeating all the villains out of spite past her. So what hope did Skull have ? From the looks of it, even escaping in a chopper could be impossible. Was the new gang doomed to be stripped of their newfound freedom in villainy ? In the end, none of her thoughts mattered. The darkness elemental, like all her friends, was powerless to stop Tatsuki from exiting the room and go up the stairs leading to her Master’s lair.

There, Tatsuki found Doctor Skull, swiveling his chair to face her after watching the security feed. His helmet displayed a frowny skull.

“Really. The top-rated magic game console on eBay and the devilish dominatrix goes all nice and caring on a fellow Japanese.” Growled the villain. “I’m glad that America is not so patriotic that we’re forbidden to be assholes to each other, at least.”

“It’s got nothing to do with Japan or America. Onee-sama’s awesome is all.”

“Blahdeblah. So, how much time do I have for my pre-ass-whooping speech ?”

“Judging from how punchable you look, I’d say thirty seconds.”

“Thirty sec...? Jesus, I have like a whole story arc to explain here !”

“Twenty five.”

“I’m serious here. I have a lot to reveal and you don’t want to kill me before I do.”

“Twenty.”

“Ooh, yeah, right, be a badass !” Mocked Skull. “That won’t get you anywere closer to the truth but at least it won’t hurt your brain cells, you ape. Lizard. Whatever.”

“The truth is that you’re a total shithead.”

In the blink of an eye, she was on her nemesis, and delivered a knee strike that would normally qualify as a finisher. It impacted the armor with a painful-sounding “klong”, but whatever metal Skull had chosen, it apparently agreed with RPGs on the notion that dragon scales are even metallier. The plating folded like cardboard under the slaughter, and the Doctor himself was slammed against his computer, causing a fireworks of sparkles.

“Goddamit, yet another manufacturer that fills its hardware full of pyrotechnics ! Maybe I should pay taxes after all, the lack of regulations is getting preposterous.”

“Isn’t inheritance taxed ? Let me help.”

She yelled and leapt towards him for a double-fist punch, but Skull could roll out in time, avoiding a strike that destroyed what was left of the computer’s central unit. The villain scrambled away to safety, but was caught by the cape and thrown across the room again, and into the corridor. Faceless minions in full bodysuits came between Skull and Tatsuki, but she kept going forward, punching them into the walls one by one, undeterred. By that point, Doctor Skull knew full well that she couldn’t be beaten now that she had been transformed. Outgunned, he nevertheless still had a trick up his sleeve. He got up on his feet and made a beeline for the communications room.

There, he quickly booted up the system and hid in the shadows before the enraged dragon girl could walk in. When she did, she of course quickly noticed the communications computer was on.

“Trying to call for help, asshat ?”

“No, I just wanted to remind my wife to buy some milk after work.”

“Polishing before the grand stand-up act in the sky ? I understand...Might as well get the worst ones out of the way, right ?”

“Actually, awesome guys like me have a strip club with money showers waiting up there.”

“I don’t know, that seems excessive for a guy who still believes hiding in the dark means your voice comes from everywhere at once.”

In a single, powerful leap, Tatsuki was on Skull, grabbed him, and leapt back to the light, whereupon she pinned him down to the ground. She snarled, and prepared to unleash the forbidden fist only antique scrolls mentioned in ominous writ. Doctor Skull sighed.

“Okay, Tatsuki, real goddamn talk here. Can you cut that anger shit out for two minutes ? I know you can’t help it, but you have a working communications console, friends to save and an enemy who’s no match for you. Christ, that’s supposed to be a no brainer !”

“I suppose you’re right, but that seems an awful lot like a trap.”

“So fucking what if it is ? This story has to come to its conclusion and if you don’t do that, it won’t work. So be a good character and save your damn friends !”

Tatsuki frowned and pondered for a few seconds, before electing to smash a hole in the floor and sticking Skull in it, before walking to the communications console. It was high time the Terrific Teens, pretty much the go-to overpowered superhero team for youngsters, finally made their appearance.

“Computer. Establish connection to the Tower of Radness. Code “Justice Awaits”.”

The machine complied, and soon, the dramatically oversized screen came to life, displaying a city’s skyline behind a huge window. No one was in front of the camera yet, but banter could faintly be heard in the background.

“Hello ? Terrific Teens ? Tatsuki of the Mystery Girls here. You hear me ?”

Tatsuki could swear she heard laughs at this moment, but seconds later, a familiar figure came to sit in front of the screen. It was Fire Crescent, a young man from another galaxy, gifted with various cosmic-themed powers. Also a huge skateboard enthusiast, which accurately implied a lot of things about the character.

“Fire Crescent here.” The spaceboy said with what could only be described as a poker face. “What’s your emergency ?”

“So we and the other Mystery Girls went to investigate on this island bought by Doctor Skull after he escaped from custody, right. Turns out the fucker had a plan to turn us into his minions. He invited an assload of monsters...We’ve been dramatically outnumbered, and Skull destroyed the underdog rules somehow. All the others have been turned. I myself didn’t turn out so hot as you can see, but at least I still know you should always bet on heroism.”

“Hm hm, yes, yes, I see. What a cowardly plan.”

“I know, right ? We need your tech to un-brainwash my friends.”

“We have that, of course.” Crescent said before turning his eyes to his left. “Hey, Nightingale, your thingies are operational, right ?”

The traditional non-powered but unreasonably tech-savvy character of the Terrific Teens joined Crescent on the screen. Nightingale was a black-haired young woman with a dark purple outfit and a winged mask hiding most of her face.

“Oh, hi, Tatsuki. Yeah, sure, of course we have anti-control countermeasures. I’ll just have to load it into the aircraft, we fly here and you’re as good a new...It would be terrible if the Mystery Girls remained evil, except oh wait it wouldn’t because you’ve been cancelled.”

Silence. Tatsuki’s eyebrow twitched.

“We’ve been what ?”

“Cancelled. Pulled off the air. Shit-canned.”

“What the hell ? I know what went down since we’ve set foot here is unfit for the public eye, but...”

“No, you don’t get it, Tatsuki. You’ve been cancelled six months ago. That adventure was your last fling. No matter what happens, once this episode ends, you’re history.”

“Wh...What ? Six months ago ?”

“Yep.” Continued Fire Crescent. “After decades of decline, the superhero craze has finally put the last nail on the ordinary-but-resourceful cartoon heroes market. And there ain’t fuckall we can do about it, so...might as well not waste any manpower on doomed characters when we have Jormungand threatening the planet, you know ?”

“But...but...”

“No buts ! You always were lamezors, and now you’re forgotten lamezors. See ya in the attic, grandma !”

The network socket was abruptly closed. Tatsuki was left here, dumbstruck, with an expression of both disgust and disbelief on her face. She wasn’t the only one, though. The four other Mystery Girls had come to remove Doctor Skull from the ground, and came in just in time to assist to the communication. Dark Aster, in particular, walked slowly toward the screen, fish-eyed.

“Cancelled ? No. No. No, this was supposed to be our revival, our chance to be relevant again...We can’t have been doomed from the outset...We can’t...That’s not fair...”

They were all shocked. Tatsuki turned around and took Leona’s hands, tears in her eyes. Silently, all five of them got together, hugging. Minutes ago, they had been wrecking the place with each other. Now, they were united again. When you stand on the edge of oblivion, good or evil doesn’t matter. They were five girls, five friends, facing the end of their existence.

Solemn silence envelopped the room. Skull’s cookie-cutter henchmen entered the room and partaked in the moment, their existence tied to the girls.

Then, a voice, rendered raspy by tears and rage, broke the silence.

“Skull. You knew about this. Since when ?”

“What’re ya talking about, hun ?” Sobbed Clover. “He’s just our villain, why should he...”

“Think, Clov.” Replied Tatsuki. When you learn the world is about to end, you break shit up. What happened on this island was about as shit-breaking as it comes.”

“Sharp as ever...Yes, I knew. From the beginning.”

“But how...?” Intervened Aster. “Clover’s right, there’s no reason you of all people would have known.”

“On the contrary.” Somberly said the villain.

After a sigh, Doctor Skull reached for his helmet. The Mystery Girls instinctively gasped, unable to fathom what their eternal nemesis looked like under his helmet. It was the greatest mystery that could never be unveiled. Their world’s most ironclad rule.But no dramatic music played. No light came from under the mask. He just took it off, and that was it.

“Oh my God he’s...who the hell is he ?” Was Aster’s reaction.

“Beats me.” Shrugged the japanese.

“I’d fuck him.” Commented Acantha.

“Ye’d fuck anyone.” Retorted Clover.

“I know who he is.” Replied SAI, drawing all eyes on her. “Michael D. Finnegan.”

“Is that supposed to ring a bell ?”

“It does if you pay attention to the end credits, Tsuki. He’s our screenwriter.”

Silence.

“We’ve been written by Skull the whole time ?” Came, in perfect unison, the exclamation from the four other Mystery Girls.

“Not the whole time. Ever since the 90’s reboot.” Replied the average middle-aged man, ruffling his hair. “I self-inserted into Doctor Skull’s character. It’s pretty cathartic.”

“That explains the shitty world domination ploys.”

“It does, doesn’t it. Coming up with aggressively stupid ways to conquer the world is just fun. Anyhow, I was your typical struggling writer, until I got scouted for a screenwriting position. I thought I had found a career, all starry-eyed, until I was told that I was to write the reboot from an obscure, and, don’t take this personally, but kind of offensive last-decade series.”

“Tell me about it.” Muttered Tatsuki.

“I’m not gonna lie,” continued Michael. “I hated your guts in the beginning. Finally, a break in the business and I was stuck with stock characters ? But I made do, I managed to have fun imagining myself as your overblown nemesis. Sorry for being such a dick, by the way, I was just venting. Anyway, you’ve paid my bills for the last twenty years. Until... well...”

The girls hung their heads down.

“The cancellation.”

“Yes. Me and the animation team saw this coming, but still, we tried our best to convince the producers and the network to rescind their decision. After all, the fuckload of superhero shows called for something fresh, and we had some pretty good ideas for an old-fashioned action series dealing with the theme of its heroines reaching adulthood. No dice. Mystery Girls just wasn’t raking in the dough anymore.”

“Fucking audiences...” Growled Aster. “All about the superpowers nowadays.”

“We had only one season left to bring in the ratings and save you. New characters, reboots of old 80’s plots to appeal to nostalgia, Thorn straight up killing a henchman to stir up controversy... Nothing worked. We only had this final story arc left. The island.”

The screenwriter drew a heavy sigh.

“Initially, we had planned a dignified finale. You just straight defeating Skull for good and going back to real life, putting the adventures of your youth past you, all the richer for it, yada yada. It seemed like the best way. Until we had a round of vodka in the studio, and we just said “fuck it, let’s end with a bang.” We cranked the controversy dial up to eleven, and we worked our asses off to pull as much episodes as possible in our alloted time.”

He chuckled, and looked in the air.

“And now, here I am, typing the finale, talking to my own characters, I mean, what the fuck am I even doing ? As all episodes since the fourth of this arc, this episode is probably only getting a release on the web. Here’s hoping it goes viral on account of all the WTFness.”

“But...” Asked Aster, concerned. “Isn’t that basically career suicide ?”

Michael laughed wearily.

“Leona, you are about to disappear from existence, and you worry about my job ?”

“I...guess that’s a bit weird...”

“Plus, I didn’t do it just as a “fuck you” to the producers, you know. I have written your dialogue for more than twenty years, and I don’t even own your rights...I just wanted you to live on. But there was no way you would manage it as heroes, not in our current cultural zeitgeist. The popular heroes are way too well established, and newcomers can’t make it. Villains, however...they get reused all the time. Movies and video games adaptation are desperate for fresh enemies to offset their stale heroes. If your canon states that you have become villains...sooner or later, you will exit the darkness and make your way back to the spotlight, be it for a single episode.”

“Until then...I fear this is goodbye. What will happen to you when I stop writing ? I want to believe you’re more than an assembly of words. Writing means submitting to narrative coherence. Sticking to the character’s inner logic. I just hope that need for consistency makes you exist, in some capacity. That’s why I’ve made sure that your conversions linked each of you to a different universe. If the Mystery Girls universe collapses, maybe you’ll all have a home to return to. Or maybe I’m delusional, overly attached to fictional beings that don’t have sentience. In the end, I will never know. All I can do is this, and hope for the best.”

Finnegan bowed his head, and faded out of existence. In seconds, there was naught but his trademark helmet left on the floor. In front of the gang, a black sheet covered the place where Skull had been. Letters faded in. They read :

But little did they know, the seemingly failed partnership between Doctor Skull and Haruka had a strange effect. By outsourcing Tatsuki’s writing, they made the Mystery Girls independent from big corporate rules, and could freely move inside the cartoon world, scripts be damned.

What happened next...who knows ?

Thanks for watching,

The Mystery Girls team.

FIN

“...What now ?” Said Acantha, breaking the silence.

“Look through the window.” Somberly replied Dark Aster.

All five of the Mystery Girls gathered to look. They were near the top of the volcano, able to see half of the island, including the dark castle and the beach they arrived on, unsuspecting this was predetermined to be their last adventure. When they looked at the horizon, on the ocean, they saw a black nothingness eating at the water. Hell, there was almost no horizon left, replaced by pure darkness. Acantha looked at Dark Aster, who of all people should be the most comfortable with this change, but she saw her trembling, attesting to the fact that this particular darkness was void even of elementals. It wasn’t the life-filled counterpart to light. It was just...empty.

“Looks like we’re well and very much fucked.” Said the elemental. “No author, no audiences...No life for us.”

“Luciferdammit.” Swore Acantha. “Don’t they realize what they’re doing to us ? We ain’t cash cows, we’re sentient beings !”

“It’s all the audience’s fault ! I’m sure we have dedicated fans that recognize the timeless value of resourcefulness, but all the fatass, tasteless jerks just went to masturbate on the superhero flicks ! I hope they develop crushing feelings of inadequacy !”

“Quit it, Aster. We’re about to be erased, now’s not the time to be our resident marketing agent.”

Dark Aster bowed her head down. She wanted to retort, but truth was, she felt much more sad than angry.

“That’s horseshit, y’all...” Complained Clover, closing her glowing red eyes. “Just because the series’ cancelled ? Don’t ya reckon we exist in fanart, at least ?”

“Maybe that’s not enough. Drawings are an evocative thing...”

“The screenwriter was right, at least...” Noted Acantha. “We all belong to other universes now. I doubt that nothingness will reach Hell. I’ll just get summoned elsewhere. The world has no shortage of ludicrously desperate virgins.”

“Yea...I reckon I’ll crash on an elf’s couch. We boogeymen ain’t livin’ in the north pole, but I’m sure Christmas magic will protect me.”

“I’m so powerful I can reach computers from other dimensions.” Bragged SAI. “Maybe I’ll just hack the producers’ iPads to shit, that’ll teach ‘em.”

The nothingness was spreading fast, some tendrils reaching the shores. A sudden tremor startled the girls. They feared the darkness was coming in from below, but realized it had just been Tatsuki stomping on the ground.

“Fuck. That. Noise.” She said angrily.

“Fuck what noise ?” Replied SAI, a luminescent eyebrow raised. “You have to get back to the console downstairs, return to your Mistress.”

“The console is in my pocket, you twat. I love my Onee-sama. But I’m not running. Darkness elemental, AI, devil, boogeyman, dragon spirit...it doesn’t matter shit. We’re us. I can’t believe it took the end of our existence for me to realize that.”

As the outer edges of the island were crumbling, she knelt down.

“I’m sorry for even thinking I was above you all. Forgive me.” She said in an earnest tone. But she didn’t give her friends time to give an awkward response, and stood up. “I’m not quitting on you. We’re a team. We’re family. We can just spread out to our respective universes, sure, but what good would that be ? Just...living a stranger’s life, without each other ? Bullshit. I’m staying. We can die. We can dissolve. But we will never be apart.”

“Beep. Except for the whole year you spent without them. Beep.” Snidely remarked the previously conspicuously absent AI.

“Don’t shit on the moment, Guru Meditation.” Scolded SAI.

“Beep....Yes boss. Beep.”

Dark Aster nodded. She couldn’t disagree with Tatsuki.

“I’m down with that. I can imagine dying. But I can’t imagine living without you.”

“Oh, come on !” Whined Acantha. “I can’t fuck if I don’t exist !”

“Quit yer yappin’. We hafta believe in Mr.Finnegan’s plan. We’ll be revived as villains someday. Reckon we’ll just be havin’ a dreamless sleep until then.”

“Who the fuck says we’ll rely on some uncreative ponce struggling to make Galaxy Man relevant ?”

As all eyes turned on her, Tatsuki walked to the middle of the room, where the helmet of the now dissolved Doctor Skull laid besides his alloted chair for dramatic speeches in front of the communications screen. In a gesture that made her friends gasp, she sat down in it.

“I, for one, can’t wait to tear Nightingale a new asshole where her national treasure brain is.”

“What’re ya saying, hun ? Look, the darkness has almost reached the volcano !”

“I’m saying if our universe is toast, we crash the Terrific Teen’s. Karma calls for footprints on their asses.”

“Can we even do that ?” Asked SAI in disbelief.

“You just said you could go to other universes, Bets. Go pirate the Tower of Radness, and use one of their McGuffins to transfer us there. Stat. We’re not going to get defeated by some bitch-ass existential void.”

The AI grinned. She had been thinking about whether they could defeat the Terrific Teens, who were pretty much the tits, shitheads or not. But Tatsuki’s answer worked too. Yes, they could do that. They were the Mystery Girls. Nothing was out of their reach now.

“Hey, wait a second !” Objected Dark Aster. “I’m the leader here, not y...”

Tatsuki slammed emphatically on one of the chair’s armrests.

“Shut the fuck up, Leona.”

Aster hung her head down. She was standing right on the traditional piranha doortrap, and Tatsuki’s foot on the trigger. The signs couldn’t more limpid. She walked calmly, solemnly, and took her place at Tatsuki’s side. SAI was on the communications platform, attempting to infiltrate the Tower of Radness. Acantha and Scarlet Clover went to Tatsuki’s sides too. Outside, the sky was gone. They were utterly surrounded by emptiness. To complete the dramatic picture, SAI sent her hologram alongside her friends as she was hacking, completing the line. Darkness was upon them, but they were united, their gazes firmly set on the communications screen. Tatsuki drew breath, then powerfully exclaimed...

“Mystery Girls...REVENGE AWAITS !”