The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Light and Shadows VI: A Darklight Shines

by J. Darksong

Ch. 4) The Gods and The Angels

“How’s it coming?” Regina Baker asked me for the three millionth time. Or, possibly the thirtieth time. I was a bit too busy to keep count.

“It will go a lot faster if you would stop asking me that,” I snapped, trying to reign in my temper. The LAST thing I needed in a situation like this was to have an emotional outburst. Because my emotional outbursts were always accompanied by a rather dramatic, and sometimes explosive, manifestation of my naughty little bad luck demons, and with a mother and daughter’s life hanging in the balance, I wanted to keep the bad luck to a minimum. Or, as much as I could, being involved in the case.

Entering the final keystroke, staring at a detailed listing of the truck, it’s route, and it’s cargo, I wasn’t quite sure if this qualified as good luck OR bad.

“Did you find something?” she asked, peering down over my shoulder. “Is that it?” She frowned, scanning down at the cargo manifest. “What the hell... ‘machine parts’? Is that what this is all about? A bunch of harmless custom tooled machine parts? Who the hell would go through all this trouble for a bunch of worthless crap like that?”

I shook my head. Hell, I was surprised my hands weren’t shaking as well. “No. You’re not seeing what I’m seeing. Look again. Look closer.... here, and here... and here,” I said, pointing at a few telltale signature tags that I’d picked up on immediately. “I’m not sure what they are hauling, but ‘worthless’ and ‘harmless’ would definitely not be two words I’d use to describe them.” I felt really really sick on my stomach all of a sudden.

“Well excuse me for not being a tech savvy wizard like yourself,” she said with annoyance, crossing her arms, “but maybe you’d care to explain what it is you see that I don’t. The words look like simple English to me, so if I’m missing something, perhaps you’d care to translate. What do those number codes mean, anyway?”

I closed my eyes, willing the image not to be there when I opened my eyes again, willing it to be a mistake. Opening my eyes, I sighed. Nope. Jimmy does not have dyslexia. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!

“That’s a military tracking cipher,” I managed to croak out. “My dad works... well, used to work for the military on a number of projects, and I learned to recognize most of them. So, even though its set up to look like just a normal run-of-the mill transport, it’s anything but. It’s a fucking military transport, disguised as a civilian transport, no doubt with a full armed escort. And If I had to guess, I’d say they are transporting a weapon of some kind. Something big. And something nasty.” I shook my head. “It gets better. The second tag is a masking code, it prevents anyone from being able to track this particular truck unless you have the appropriate corresponding code. A little invention of my Dad’s, it prevents even the most sophisticated electronic and satellite monitoring from tracking the signal. The only way to know it’s really there without the signal code is with your own two eyes. But... it’s the last code that really scares the shit out of me.“

Regina frowned, peering down at the small series of numbers. “Okay, I give up. What is it?”

“It’s a NEST tracking code.”

“Nest? Like a bird’s nest?”

“N.E.S.T.,” I explained. “Nuclear Emergency Response Team. You know, the organization your friend Jack Bower provided technological support for? Fuck... that means whatever they’re transporting, it’s radioactive.” I laughed ruefully. “We really ARE in an episode of ‘24’. Shit... we have to stop Jack Bower from hijacking a goddamn nuke!”

* * *

“Um... okay... so, what am I supposed to be looking at, exactly?” Katie asked, confused.

Jessica blinked, glancing down at the monitor of the laptop Katie held. The screen showed the computer in the Windows loading stage, processing and installing updates. “Ah... well shit. I guess it was running its weekly updates,” She sighed heavily. Damn. Forgot all about Katie’s luck. I guess I could try flashing the copy of that program at her on my Iphone, but the damn cell phone would shatter in my hand before it ensnared her mind. It’s not going to let her be brainwashed unless she willingly actively allows it to happen.

“Well, maybe you can just tell me what it is, Jess,” Katie said, standing there expectantly. “Or you could show it to me later. We should really get back out there and entertain our guests.”

“NO! No...they’re fine,” Jessica said wickedly, sliding the computer aside, and pulling Katie back down onto the bed. “I’m sure by now Techna’s keeping your mom entertained, showing her all the special upgrades she’d placed on your desktop.” She kissed Katie again, then stared deep into her eyes. “Katie, love? Do you trust me?”

“Yes, of course! You know I do—”

“No,” Jessica said seriously. “I mean, really REALLY trust me? If I asked you to do something for me, something you wouldn’t usually do, something that might seem really really strange, stupid or... possibly even dangerous... would you trust me enough to do it?”

“Dangerous?“Katie’s smile fell. “What do you mean? Jess, what’s this about—”

“Shh. Just answer me, Katie. Would you trust me... believe in me enough to know that no matter what happened, I would NEVER ever do anything to hurt you? Could you ever trust me that much?”

“I...” Katie began, then sighed, closing her eyes. “Yes. I do trust you, Jess. With my heart. My mind. My entire life.”

“Okay,” Jessica said, taking out her iPhone. “Then do me a favor and keep your eyes closed for a moment more... and don’t open them until i tell you to. Okay?”

“Alright,” Katie nodded, trying to push aside her anxiety. Something was off. Jessica was acting very strange, and asking her to trust her without explaining... Her stomach twisted in knots. Something was about to happen. Something important. Her first instinct was to run, to flee or fight or do... something. But this was Jessica, HER Jessica. Asking her to trust her, to believe, and know deep down that she would never hurt her, no matter what. Taking a deep breath, she let herself relax. Jessica was not a threat to her.

Jessica was not a threat...

“Okay, baby... open your eyes.”

Taking another deep breath, Katie opened her eyes. Then widened them in surprise. Then, slowly, her breath catching, her eyes glazed over, lids drooping to half mast, as the sparkling swirling display before her eyes drew her in completely...

* * *

It’s true what they say. Ignorance truly is bliss.

We were so royally screwed. Having learned what was being transported hadn’t helped our situation in the slightest. Instead, it had made things infinitely more complicated. I was bound and determined to find some way of saving Regina and her daughter. I couldn’t let them end up as casualties in this whole mess. At the same time, I absolutely positively could NOT let nuclear material fall into the hands of whatever criminal organization was behind this whole plot. At this point, I’d told Regina that we were in way over our heads, and that whether she liked it or not, I was calling for help. And, considering the situation, she heartily agreed. As embarrassing as it was to do so, I bit the bullet and dialed my mom on speed dial.

Unfortunately, it went straight to voice mail.

Knowing she was spending the day with Katie, I dialed my sister’s cell as well, and it, too, went to voice mail. Hoping Megan was there, I dialed her as well. Nothing. And, because the situation was so serious, I even dialed Jessica’s cell. Nobody answered. Hanging up in disgust, I turned back to my erstwhile companion. “Well, looks like you get your wish after all,” I stated flatly. “We’re on our own.”

The door opened, and I ducked down as Ted stuck his head in. “C’mon, Baker. It’s time to leave. We have that very important ‘appointment’ to tend to, and we don’t wanna be late!”

“I know, I know. Just give me a sec, okay?” Regina answered. When the door closed, she whispered a quiet “What now?”

“Just go along with the plan for now. Do everything your chaperone tells you to do. Don’t make waves. I’ll try and think of something. Just keep your cell phone on you, and be ready to act once I give you the signal.”

“Fine. But what’s the signal?”

I smiled grimly. “Believe me, you’ll know when you see it.”

Watching her leave, I expelled the power I’d built up, darkening the room with shadows, and slipped quietly out the back exit. Sprinting the short distance down the road to where I’d parked, I started the engine, backed out, and, leaving the headlights off, peeled out for the highway. Being a ‘creature of the night’ so to speak has its perks; my regular vision isn’t any sharper than the average person’s, but my night vision is without peer. Even with my costume’s tinted visor covering my eyes, I could see in the darkened moonlit night as clearly as if it were the middle of the day. Better. in fact, since the bright glare of the sun actually hampered my vision. I was only slightly concerned about getting stopped by a policeman or highway patrolman on my way to the ambush site. The roads were practically deserted, with most of the normal traffic probably detoured away—after all, for what Ted and his conspirators had cooked up, they needed as much privacy as possible.

Not exactly a good thing, that, I mused, as I pressed the gas pedal down to the floorboard, but far be it for me to look a gift horse in the mouth. Still, with everything at stake, I couldn’t afford to take any chances. I needed to try and cover all of my bases, just in case things didn’t go as I hoped. Tapping my blue tooth, I dialed a number from memory, and crossed my fingers, hoping she would answer.

“Hello? This is Dr. Brooks speaking...”

* * *

“All right, Baker,” Ted said over the radio from his car as he changed lanes, moving out ahead of Regina’s vehicle. “This is it. You remember what to do right? You’re the trigger for all of this. When the truck passes you, you hit the lights and the siren, and get him to stop. And once he stops, you need to distract the driver for about three minutes while my people get into position.”

“Yeah. yeah, I got that,” Regina answered back. “It’s just like any other highway stop. I’ve done those before, you know.”

“Yeah, well the hard part comes in when we make our move. They know what they’re hauling, and the minute they see our guys swoop in, that driver’s going to try and make a run for it. That can’t happen. I don’t care what you have to do, Baker, but do NOT let them escape with that truck. If you value your daughter’s life, you’ll keep them there until we get the cargo. Are we clear?”

Regina scowled, gripping her steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. She knew the truth. She knew exactly what she had to do if she wanted to safeguard her daughter’s life. Forcing her voice to sound calm and disinterested, she replied back. “Roger, Whitman. We’re clear. Baker out.”

Reaching the rendezvous point, she cut her lights and pulled into park, and waited. Her hand trembled, but she forced back the fear. Dammit, Gina, calm down. You’re not in this alone. That Frasier kid is in this with you... he promised he would find a way to get you out of it. Somehow. She sighed heavily, letting her head tip forward, letting the tears she’d held back for hours finally fall. Shit. Who am I kidding? He’s just a fucking kid! A nineteen, twenty year old kid. I should have let him call his friends for help when we still had a chance! Yeah, he has super powers, and he’s kind of smart... but he’s just one man. There’s no way he can get us out of this mess! There’s no way... no chance. And no hope... She sniffed, wiping her eyes, as the sound of an approaching vehicle grabbed her attention.

“Hope...” she whispered softly, gripping the steering wheel. “No... he’s my only hope. C’mon kid.... don’t let me down.“

* * *

Okay. I had a plan... of sorts. Speaking to my dad’s old friend from the FBI, I’d convinced Dr. Brooks of the very real threat of losing a nuclear weapon to terrorists, and she agreed to alert the proper authorities, to get them mobilized and pointed our way. The good news was that both the state branch of the federal counter terrorist response unit AND the nuclear emergency response team were both fairly close by in Salt Lake City. The bad news was that at top speed, they were still an hour to an hour and a half away from Provo.

“Look, my boy, I’ll be sure and light a fire under the Agency’s asses to get the moving,” she’d said, “but until they arrive, you’ll just have to do your best. It’s too bad you mom and dad are out of the area. I know it’s a bit scary handling something like this on your own... hell, I’d be frightened in your place. But you can do this, James. This is what heroes do.”

So, I had at least one person’s vote of confidence.

Arriving a few minutes before the highway patrolmen, I’d had a chance to scout the area, and sure enough, found a couple of black SUVs parked on the other side of the rise across from the ambush site. Moving with speed and stealth, I managed to get close enough to look over the enemy force. It wasn’t pretty. The SUVs were heavily armored and reinforced to withstand heavy caliber fire. Each vehicle had a five man team—the driver and four combatants—each armed with what appeared to be automatic rifles and handheld particle weapons. Military issues weapons, not the standard run-of-the-mill junk you find on the streets. They were all prepared for trouble, and more than readily equipped to deal with anything they came across.

Well, almost anything. Nine o’clock at night, with the moon shining, coating the world in shadows, I was in my element. Without needing to advance any closer, or overextend my energy reserves, I tapped into the latent shadows, embedding them with my own darkness, and shadow-struck all the inhabitants of both vehicles. Having ten completely stunned minds linked to my own was nothing new; trying to decipher and actively pick through ten completely stunned minds to learn what I needed to know, was. It was worth the effort, however—Sam, the driver of the second vehicle, was in charge of coordinating the assault, and with the information I’d obtained from HIS mind, and from Ted’s earlier, I now knew what to do. I just had very little time in which to do it.

A mile or so down the road, several pairs of lights appeared. Shit. Here comes the convoy, and right on time! Doing a hasty bit of memory revamping, and a few delayed instructions, I withdrew from the link, and began sprinting down the rise. As predicted, the big rig transport bypassed the well lit weigh station, continuing on down the road, and Regina’s and Ted’s cruisers came alive, intercepting the lead truck, which, after several minutes, pulled over to the side of the road. Panting a bit from my run, I arrived just in time to hear the last part of their exchange with the driver.

“...told you already, we’re not required to stop at any weigh stations,” the driver said patiently.

“And I’m telling you, again,” Regina said calmly, “that it’s a statewide law that you MUST stop at all authorized stations to have your vehicle weighed and your miles checked. I don’t care what kind of timetable you’re on, I can’t just let your truck go by unchecked!”

“Look! You have my writ of transport in your hands,” the driver said testily. “My paperwork specifically states that I am authorized to bypass any and all such stations. Everything is signed and stamped by the Department of Transportation... you know? Your Bosses? Now step aside, unless you’d like your Captain to get a call from the Secretary of Transportation AND the Secretary of Defense!”

“Uh huh,” Regina replied, using her years perfected ‘bored’ voice. “And you’re hauling... ‘machine parts’, it says here. Yeah. I can definitely see THAT being a big important rush job.” Sighing, she handed the paperwork back through the driver’s window, taking out her ticket pad. “Look Sir, I recognize that you have a job to do. I’m just trying to do MY job as well...”

“You... are you honestly writing me a ticket?!?” the driver yelled in disbelief. “A goddamn ticket, even after I told you what—”

“Gary! Shit!” the other passenger yelled out suddenly, as four pairs of headlights approached. “Ambush! It’s a set up! We got incoming!”

“Freeze!” Regina barked, dropping the pad, pointing her gun at the driver’s head. “Don’t move! Put your hands up where I can see them!” When the driver’s hand moved slightly towards the steering wheel, she jerked slightly to the left and fired a warning shot. “I said don’t move!” she yelled, bringing the gun back to bear on the driver’s head. “Get out of the truck, Sir. Please. I won’t warn you again. I don’t want to shoot you... but I will if I have to!”

Glancing to his co-pilot, the driver sighed and slowly opened the door, climbing down out of the cab. “Lady, you have no idea the kind of trouble you just got yourself into here,” he warned, stepping out with his hands up.

Regina sighed softly. “Oh, believe me,” she said sadly, gesturing for him to step back, “I know a lot more about what’s going on here than you think.”

As the vehicles pulled up, several armed men withdrew from the escort vehicles, and all hell soon broke loose. Light gunfire broke out as the drivers of the second truck and their escorts realized what was happening, and drew their weapons. Several of the guards and mercenaries squared off. I watched grimly from my vantage point atop the ridge, wanting badly to intervene, to stop this senseless fighting before someone got hurt or died... but I needed to wait just a few minutes longer... just a few more minutes...

“Fuck! Where’s our air support?” one of the guards called out, grabbing his handheld radio. “Tango-whiskey-foxtrot, we’re pinned down! Where the hell is that chopper?” Huh... the same thing I was wondering. Support from above was the last member of this little soirée that I needed to account for before I could act—

Finally, I breathed softly as a high powered military helicopter pulled into range, and an aerial spotlight shown down on the area. Letting loose with all the energy I’d gathered, I flooded the area with darkness as I sprinted down the ridge, masking the entire area in pitch black. Cries of alarm rang out from among the combatants, finding themselves suddenly rendered blind.

Shit! I can’t see! Regina thought to herself, nearly panicking. Is this Jimmy’s signal? I guess it must be. Guess it’s now or never! Clutching her weapon with her left hand, she grabbed the truck’s door handle with her right and pulled it open, sliding into the driver’s seat. Luckily, the engine was still idling, so she merely pulled down hard on the gearshift and pressed the accelerator, until the big rig began to move forward. Shit! Talk about travelling blind! I hope he knows what I’m doing... Moments later, the truck pulled out of the area of darkness, and back into the dimly lit night. Regina breathed a sigh of relief, turning her weapon on the shocked man in the passenger seat, suddenly finding himself abducted.

“Just relax. We’re not going far.” she said, to herself as well as her passenger. “It’s all going to be okay. My friend back there has everything under control.” I hope, she added silently.

* * *

Before ending the blackout, I decided to end the firefight now, while I had the advantage. A few well placed tendril strikes drained the energy from the mercs and the military escorts’ pulse weapons. Withdrawing my shadows, I lifted one of the empty SUVs and slammed it hard into a second transport, causing a small explosion, and limiting the chances of anyone escaping before the final wrap up. My sudden appearance, my dark spandex costume, and the fact that I’d just bench pressed a truck had the added benefit of attracting everyone’s attention. Turning their weapons on me, they discovered to their surprise, and my good fortune. that their guns had been rendered useless. Then, unfortunately, the mercenaries pulled their automatic rifles instead.

“NOW!” I yelled loudly, as the rest of my carefully crafted spur-of-the-moment plan came to fruition. Sam, and the other men I’d shadow drained earlier obeyed their mentally implanted instructions, and turned on their companions, siding with the military forces. The remaining thieves, stunned and confused by the sudden betrayal, and now hopelessly outnumbered and out gunned, simply gave up, dropping their weapons in surrender.

The helicopter pilot, seeing the situation all too clearly from his skyborne perch, decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and pulled off, gaining altitude rapidly, preparing to run. Yeah, like THAT’S gonna happen. Pulling off a door from one of the smashed SUV’s, I tossed it like a boomerang at the copter. For once, my luck was good; I scored a hit, shearing off the tail rotor, damaging, not destroying, the helicopter, causing it to spin wildly out of control. Running a few yards, matching it trajectory, I leapt high up, grabbing it from underneath, and bringing it down to rest, safe and intact, on the ground. And, for good measure, I bent the barrels of both twin mounted guns, in case the Mr. Bower turned out to be a sore loser.

“Hey, Officer Baker,” I said, panting softly through my Bluetooth connection, “looks like... it’s over. You can come... back in.”

“It’s over?” she asked through the phone, as I ripped open the helicopter’s canopy, revealing the pilot, co-pilot, and passenger in the back seat. “But what about my daughter? What about Chloe?”

“She’s fine,” I said gently, reaching in to unbuckle the passenger’s seatbelt. “I’m looking at her right now. She’s a little shook up from the wild ride, and a little scared, but otherwise unharmed. Come on in, Regina. Your daughter needs her mom.” Lifting the frightened girl out of the ruined copter, I gave her a smile. “Hi there. You must be Chloe. I’m Darklight, a friend of your mom’s. She sent me to get you.”

She stared at me, wide eyed, taking in my black and silver costume. “You... you’re a super hero?” she asked timidly.

“I am,” I replied with a nor, holding out a hand. “Don’t worry. You’re safe now. She’ll be here in just a minute. Let’s go meet her, okay?” Nodding, lip trembling but putting on a brave face, the little girl climbed out of the ruined machine and into my arms.

* * *

Time can really be fluid sometimes. In the middle of a life or death, really tense situation, a big battle might seem to last eons, when it’s actually only been a few minutes. That’s how this felt. It seemed like, with everything that had just happened, it should be much later than it was. As a matter of fact, only about ten minutes had elapsed since the whole thing had started.

The aftermath was fairly tame, but explaining what was going on to the involved parties took longer than the actual fight itself. The military officer in charge, a Major Matt Flannigan, was a bit confused as to why a pair of State Highway Patrolmen and a badged Super had assaulted his convoy, destroyed one of their helicopters, then turned on the assault party forcing them to surrender, and brought the truck right back. Accepting the dubious tale of the blackmail, he then wanted to know, specifically, how we’d even known about the transport in the first place with all the security measures in place specifically to prevent such a hijacking.

“You can should ask your pilot, Major Flannigan,” I said, shoving the pilot forward into the center of the group. “Meet Jack Bower, or ‘Ryan Dugan’ as you no doubt had his listed from his NEST personnel file. He’s the mastermind behind this whole operation. And yes, he IS an actual member of the NEST team—that’s where he got all his information about the transport. Seems his found a buyer for the miniaturized nuclear shells Braxton Technologies has been developing, and was willing to go through some pretty extreme lengths in order to make the deal happen.”

The sandy haired man growled, struggling angrily against the handcuffs holding him. “Of course,” i continued smugly, “he couldn’t simply steal the shells from the company itself, or from the military base they’re being taken to.—too much security. And, he couldn’t exactly wage an all-out assault on your little convey carrying experimental nuclear weapons in transit either. One bad shot, one bad turn, or a jackknife, and ka-boom! No... first, he needed a way to stop the transport, and distract your people long enough to get his people into place. That’s why he kidnapped Officer Baker’s daughter. She was the leverage he needed to get her to comply, and the insurance he needed to make sure he got away clean, in case anything went wrong.”

“You think you’re so smart!” he snarled at me, suddenly. “Think you’ve figured everything out, don’t you? Well guess again! This isn’t over, not by a long shot! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me go right now!”

The major scowled. “That’s not happening. Mr. Dugan... or Bower... whatever the hell your name really is. Treason against the United States government carries a rather stiff penalty. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut, and PRAY you get a long long stay at a nice maximum security prison instead of the gas chamber! Men, take him away,” he said dismissively, turning back towards the trucks.

“Oh really?” Jack replied with a knowing smirk as the guards grabbed him by the arms. “I very seriously doubt I’ll be seeing the inside of any prison... not unless you’ve decided you don’t care about the missing warheads?”

That got his attention. “Missing warheads? Hold it!” He signaled to the MPs to stop. “What do you mean, ‘missing’?”

“Oh? You haven’t done a head count yet, have you?” Jack replied with a smirk. “I would have thought that would be your first priority.” Turning to stare directly at me, he glared insolently. “Suffice it to say, hero, as secure as I was in my planning I still thought ahead to have a contingency plan in place just in case something went wrong... and part of that plan involved having one of my men take off with a few of those miniature shells in the midst of the confusion. After all, at the size they are, it wouldn’t be very hard to slip a few into a small briefcase and simply disappear, would it?“

“Dammit! Major, he’s right,” a sergeant announced, rushing into the gathering. “We just finished checking the cargo, and we’re missing four shells! One of the Highway Patrolmen is missing as well!”

I glanced around, spying Regina, still with her daughter, off to the side of the main gathering. “It’s Ted Whitman,” I said grimly, shaking my head. Fuck. I KNEW I should have kicked that slimy little bastard’s ass when I had the chance! “We need to find him, now.” I glared at Johnson. “And you’re going to tell us where he’s going... or I’ll make you tell us!“

He merely laughed in response. “Oh? Threatening me? Feel free, for all the good it will do you. The fact of the matter is... I don’t know where he’s going. I set the plan in motion, yes... but I am hardly the mastermind. There are other parties involved in this. Whitman’s instructions were to take the warheads to a safe place no one knew about, and to contact me later once he was clear. And, on the off chance that I don’t respond, or if I end up ‘compromised’, he is to make contact with the buyer himself, and make the deal for the three warheads he has—”

“Wait a second,” I said, going cold inside. “You just said three. He stole four miniature shells.“

Ryan’s look of glee turned savage. “Very good. You figured it out already. As leverage, to show everyone that we mean business, and to help cover his escape, the plan involves detonating one of the shells in a highly populated area!” He laughed madly. “And nothing ties up law enforcement resources better than trying to deal with the aftermath of a catastrophe, like a few million dead from a nuclear explosion!” He laughed again, a sick sadistic grin on his face. “So... will you be releasing the handcuffs now, or AFTER he calls in to check on me?”

“Get him out of here!” the major yelled, grabbing a cell phone from his pocket. “Dammit! We need to inform Washington about this! Sergeant, get this area secured! " He ran back towards the trucks, barking orders, trying to take command of a situation already far beyond his control. I sighed, looking away. The situation was really really bad. The smug sense of accomplishment I’d had moments ago had just vanished entirely. Somehow, I’d missed this whole entire scenario of a backup plan when I’d delved into Ted’s cesspool of a mind. I’d miscalculated, and now a psycho rogue cop was about to sell nukes to terrorists and blow up a major city.

I’d fucked up. Badly.

“Well, kid,” a vaguely familiar voice said loudly from behind. “Looks like you really fucked things up here.” Whirling around, I gaped openly in surprise at the well dressed man in the three piece silver Italian suit. “Not that I should be surprised,” he continued unperturbed. “It’s kinda your thing. Everywhere you go, you bring along a cloud of bad luck, am I right? Well, boy, this time, you’ve brought the motherlode of bad luck shitstorms.”

Growling, covering myself in shadows, I took an offensive attack stance. “Maybe so, Hitman, but at least I can vent some of that frustration by kicking your sorry ass!”