No Parking — A Hit and Run Story
By The Ethical Hypnotist
Chapter One: Mind Games
Dominick Vasquez sat on the tatami, eyes closed, breathing slowly. There was incense in the air—sandalwood—and the smell of cherry blossoms. He could feel the warmth of the morning sunlight on his face.
“Ready dude?”
He nodded, stood, smoothed out his ivory gi, and opened his eyes. The light of the dojo was soft, filtered through the translucent shoji doors and reflected off the mahogany floor. Dom pushed the tatami out of the way with his foot, then turned to face his friend.
On the opposite side of the dojo, the vast multidimensional form of the creature that called himself Margot Robbie hovered, a howling tornado of eyes, tentacles and teeth.
A year ago, when fate had brought Margot (literally) crashing into his life, the very sight of him attacked Dom’s sanity like a rabid dog. He was a Horror, a nightmare beyond his capacity to understand.
But Margot was not a monster. He was a lot of things—goofy, absentminded, addicted to ‘Bro Speak’—but not a monster. Margot was a person, like Dominick… he just lived in a few more dimensions than Dom could tolerate.
There were monsters though. They had found Dom and his friends. They had money and power and no regard for others. A monster with a human face had attacked his home, hurt his family, stolen his best friend—just because they could.
In the face of that monstrous cruelty, how could Dominick be scared of Margot? A fire burned in Dom’s soul now, white hot, and in its light he could look upon Margot without fear.
So here they were, inside Dom’s mind, training. He’d become Margot’s little project, his student—a warlock, to use Margot’s own term.
“Ready? Not really. Let’s do it.”
Dom charged, lept, rained blows down on Margot—a flurry of punches, kicks, knees, elbows. Margot blocked and dodged, tentacles flying, pushed back against a wooden pillar by the onslaught. Dominick threw a right cross, missing by inches and shattering the pillar. Margot grabbed his outstretched arm in his tentacle, twisted and threw him across the room.
Margot leaned over Dom, insofar as a floating dimensionality can lean.
“Good! Adaptation, Improvisation—but your weakness is not your technique.”
Dominick groaned. “Why the hell did I show you The Matrix!?”
He sprung up, lashing out with whirling kicks, pushing Margot back again as he defended. Dom redoubled his attack, putting every ounce of his will into each blow. Twice, three times he came within a hair’s breadth of striking—and then Margot launched a dozen tentacles, all at once. Dom smashed into a pillar, breaking it in half.
As he knelt, panting and groaning, Margot casually floated over to him. He made an imitation of casually looking at its nails. “How did I beat you?” he asked sarcastically.
There was a tap on Margot’s back. He metaphorically turned—Margot had eyes in every direction, but his focus had been on Dom.
A second Dom drove a straight right directly into Margot’s center, sending him flying. A third caught Margot midair and piledrived him into the floor, shattering the wood. A fourth and a fifth hammered on Margot’s prone form, dozens of blows delivered in furious staccato.
“You didn’t,” Dom said in chorus. “I haven’t shown you the sequels yet.”
Margot roared with laughter and the dojo dissolved back into the endless white expanse of the simulation. “Fuckin’ A dude, that was amazing! You had complete control of the metaphor the whole time—played me like a damn fiddle! Well done.”
“Thanks man. That was brutal—you’ve really stepped it up lately.” Dom wiped metaphorical sweat from his brow.
“Gotta go hard, chief—if you’re gonna be a baller warlock, we can’t half-ass it. Mental combat is no joke.”
“You’re not wrong there… but I’m still kinda uncomfortable with where this is leading, Margot. Messing with people’s heads, reading their thoughts—it all feels kinda gross.”
Margot put a comforting tentacle on his shoulder. “Exactly why I’m teaching you, bro. You’d never fuck with people, but there’s lots of people who would. If you’re trained, you can unfuck things. Besides, learning the defenses are hella useful, even if you never touch another mind.”
“Fair enough.” Dominick shook Margot’s tentacle. “But I gotta go man. Time to say good morning to the missuses and get to work. See you tomorrow!”
They said their goodbyes and Dom’s mind fell back into realspace.