Revenge of the Unicorn (Third Letter)
by Eromel
Being several letters containing a true and faithful account of what transpired between Isidor the Thaumaturge and a lady of Parva and of the harrowing metamorphosis rendered unto that lady with the object of thwarting a monkish tyranny.
Warnings: All rights reserved by Eromel. The following is adult fiction involving eroticism and controversial themes. If you are underage, mentally unstable, or unable to judge the difference between fact and fiction, exit now. It should be noted that while the story takes place against a recognizable historical background all proper names refer to characters or institutions which are either inventions of or have been fictionalized by the author. Any connection between the political, civil, and ecclesiastical institutions depicted fictionally in this story and contemporary organizations, ideologies or belief systems is coincidental and not intended to disparage the latter.
Revenge of the Unicorn (Third Letter)
by Eromel
Letter the Third
In your last reply to my letters you asked me to examine my conscience and my motives. In particular, you questioned me as to my intentions with regard to the Lady Leonora, and whether they were honorable. It struck me as an odd question. After all, my intention was to destroy her, and through her destruction likewise bring about that of the tyrannical monk who has plagued our city. Whether there is honor in that, I know not, but I was certainly candid with you about my intentions.
But when I further reflected upon your words, I realized that you were inquiring about something far more basic: Was I, or was I not, romantically involved with the lady. Or to put it even more boldly: Was I in love? At first I dismissed the issue as nonsense, after all, I was sworn to bring down a tyranny, not to win the hand of a maiden. But then I realized that there is no such thing as absolute knowledge in the matter of the human heart. Being of a melancholic temperament I am less prone to note my susceptibility to the bolts of Cupid’s quiver than are others. So I had recourse to a comparison between the chart of my geniture and that of the lady. Indeed, there seemed some small danger in that department for my Mars conjuncted her Venus in the seventh house.
From this I could infer one thing only, that it was necessary to accomplish her banishment with all due speed, before my latent sympathies for her blossomed and unfit me for the cruel mission which destiny had thrust upon me. For as the Master was fond of saying, in our art it is the self who is the true adversary, lurking close at hand and within striking distance of, nay, simply within, the jugular vein. By this knowledge of an eristic, an antagonism interior to each human mind we are granted the capacity to undo others, and, if we abuse that knowledge, to undo ourselves.
Fortunately the Lady Leonora was outdoing herself in her efforts to undo herself. Indeed, she was lapping greedily at that very fountain of knowledge which I had so cruelly poisoned. Seldom had I seen such an avid pupil, and she absorbed all my teachings ahead of schedule. Quickly she internalized the phrase that I had given her to remember in several languages...and endeavored to forget all else. I instructed her not to fear the loss of any of her knowledge of the world or of herself in order to make room for peace of mind. Borrowing from the teachings of the Boow-da, the Indian Mercury, I lead her quickly to that pinnacle of bliss which the philosophers beyond the Indus call “nibbis”, which is to say neverland or limbo.
I wish I could discourse at length on this singular state of mind. It is one of my fascinations and a prize of wisdom aquired as a result of my extensive correspondence with men of the East, a communication which in volume and currency was second to none in Italy up to the time of my imprisonment. For the strong minded this trance is the most powerful of tonics, for there is indeed nothing more invigorating to the psychic faculties than wiping the mind clean, even if for a moment, of all distractions. However for those minds which fall within the ambit of the airy tripicity it is apt to become a powerful and addictive narcotic. For the Lady Leonora, who had not only the pulchritude, but the elemental composition of a sylph, the state of mental vacuity exerted an inextricable fascination. Though seldom able to enter into this state of perfect limbo for more than a few moments at a time, her appetite for the experience became voracious, and she quickly sought it to the exclusion of all else.
For leading her into this paradise of self-forgetfulness, this blissful land of lotus eating, the lady held me in higher and higher esteem with every circuit of the moon through the sky. She showered me with benefices and presents, and I was hard put to refuse most of them, even though I knew far better than most men that to accept them would bring me only temptation and infamy. I feared at length that se would offer her very self, and then I would, as you so rightly pointed out, face a painful dilemma. First, I would find myself bound to someone whom I had vowed to destroy. Second, I would be hazarding the ejaculation of those very fluids which, existing in potential rather than in kinetic state, give our art its subtle power to influence the mind of others.
Therefore I owe you a thousand debts of gratitude Telesio, for having reminded me of the dangers of love. Yet, for all their peril, the snares of love were not among the most immediate dangers which I faced. Rather, the present danger wore the familiar masks of jealousy and enmity. The higher I rose in court, the more I saw daggers in the eyes of those who barely could conceive me as their peer, let alone their superior. The more kindly, and indeed deferential, the princess regent acted towards me, the larger became the faction of my enemies. Before I had ranked no higher than gentleman-usher a court, a sort of human doorstopper, and now that I had bounded over the heads of so many others I was the butt of many rude jokes. Not that I minded, for I had always taken the pretensions of the court lightly...including my own dignity and esteem within the official scheme of things.
There was only one person whose opinion I could not afford to ignore, that of Fra Scarpiglione, chief minister and father-confessor to the court of the Duchy of Parva. What he thought of my meteoric rise was opaque to even my art, for (aside from the forced emotionalism of his oratorical masterpieces) he had all the readability of the sphinx. But I could feel the rays which emanated from his eyes drilling into me and I wondered what it portended. Undoubtedly he canvassed the opinions of others, both in the confessional box and through the medium of his spies. Of one thing only I was sure, that in becoming the second man in Parva I had still acquired no immunity from prosecution by the Inquisition.
It was with such somber thoughts that I occupied myself as I sat beside the princess regent, forcing myself to smile and bear with her increasingly cloy and vacuous admiration. Her training had now practically rendered her my creature, for she evinced the character of a malleable blank, eager to take on whatever form I wished to stamp upon her. On the one hand she had rid herself of her prejudices and scruples, along with much of her intelligence, by banishing forever anything which brought her mental distress. On the other hand she became addicted to the waters of Lethe, that river of forgetfulness which I ladled out to her in abundance, and she found herself enjoying the repose of one who partakes of a bliss which leaves all worldly cares behind. Therefore I acquired a kind of godlike stature in her eyes, being the holder of the keys to her own mind and happiness.
“Do you wish to hear my new song master?” She smiled as she reached out for her lute, now tempered by the stretching of lamb’s sinews.
“It is not that I want to hear a new song as that I no longer wish to hear any of the old songs which your former master taught you. Silence or the purity of the instrument’s voice devoid of human embellishments would be preferable to such.”
“But I think you will be pleased when you hear this song.”
I gestured for her to commence the recital of her composition. Upon the most melancholic air the following lyrics were wrought:
I was about to scold her for taking serious liberties with her mnemonic phrase for the sake of artistic embellishment, but then I saw her adoring face looking up at me in expectation of approval, and I assured her that it was very fine and that I was hoping to hear a version in Chinese.
She beamed with delight, taking up her instrument again. I was expecting at any moment to hear the strains of a Chinese melody, but I became aware that we had been joined by a third party in the garden.
“May I have a word with you Counselor Isidor?” It was the voice of Fra Scarpiglione.
“Of course.” Again I felt the icy hands of the Inquisition reaching out for me, this time closer than ever before.
“I think we should retire to the Chancery...where we can speak alone.”
We departed, not so much as taking our leave or saying another word to the princess regent. Gradually I had come to treat her with a contemptuous familiarity, but I was shocked to see that in private Fra Scarpiglione did the same. It was clear that he knew that I had, in some sense of the word, seduced her. What penalty he would extract for this I could only guess...but my expectations were for the worse.
The Chancery was as dank and gloomy as the garden was bright and warm, and Fra Scarpiglione invited me to share a glass of wine and warm my stomach. I abstained since Priests, like the practitioners of our art, are sometimes known to loosen tongues with a draught of liquor. So when the scribes and registraries were dismissed, we found ourselves alone and in a position to proceed in a businesslike manner.
“You know why you are here of course.” He pierced me with the glistening eyes beneath his cowl.
“I can surmise.”
“Let me state it plainly. You have enchanted the princess regent, Lady Leonora. You are using the black arts to seduce her, a high crime falling outside the jurisdiction of the civil courts, but a most special concern of the Holy Office.”
“You are jealous because I have become a rival for her favor. Jealousy ever breeds accusations of sorcery.”
“Indeed. But in your case there are ample grounds for suspicion: Your sudden rise from obscurity prompted by no considerations of merit, your dubious ancestry, and the course of your youthful studies which included attendance at the lectures of a notorious heretic. In short, we have you.”
“I doubt it.”
“No, more than that, we have you and you have us, or at least me. You have my genuine admiration.”
“Pray thee, what?”
“In all candor, Lady Leonora’s was a menace to herself and to the state. You have removed that menace. Congratulations. I know not what your motives are. Perhaps you are besmitten with her radiant beauty. But I doubt that, for that would be the act of a fool, and you are no fool. For some reason you have removed her headstrong will, and rendered her pliant, a state which I find highly congenial. She was always threatening to disrupt the new order which I have so carefully established in Parva. I expelled her father and set her up on the throne only to find her meddlesome and intractable. I need her that I may rule, not so she may rule.”
“In other words, you need me and shall not denounce me to the Inquisition.”
“Let me put it this way. I have greater goals than the chastisement of individual scoundrels. When I thought you were a simple heretic I had nothing but contempt for you, now that I realize that you are a diabolist I salute you. I look across the great divide which separates the City of God from the world and I see you on the other peak, a mirror image of myself. Rarely is it that I can find a man who shares my passions and my understanding of human nature. For the latter is as malleable as it is corrupt, and I seek to reform it, and bring out the New Man if I must torture the Old Adam on a procrustean bed, stretching or chopping off limbs as need be. We differ only on the scale of our operations. You, hiding within the sorcerer’s cave of your own skull, separated from the polity of the human race, count it a supreme victory to seduce a single virgin. Whereas for me...even the entire world is not enough.”
“Cease with your vainglory...can we return to business?”
“Certainly. What you have done, rendering the princess regent passive and docile, suits me well. If you were a heretic or some other idealist I would suspect you of trying to use her in the same manner in which I have, as a cloak for your own rule...but given what you evidently are, I applaud your actions. As long as she exists unharmed I don’t care if she is capable of independent thought, in fact it is better if she is not. I want you to maintain her. Keep her safe, amused, and infatuated with your enchantments. I will surrender the portfolio of Chamberlain to you, sealing your position as the second man of the state, in turn all I ask is that she be unharmed and visible as sovereign, and that neither she, nor you through her, be in a position to interfere. A priest cannot rule. If I moved openly to establish a theocracy the League and the Emperor would have my head on a stake and the Pope would wash his hands of me. Furthermore, you would precede me to destruction...remember we keep a dossier on you.”
“A very satisfactory arrangement reverend father. But now we face a difficulty. It is true, as you have so accurately percieved that I have enchanted the Lady Leonora. You saw this for you are, by temperament, a cunning man among a crowd of willing dupes. However we cannot rely on the ignorance and cupidity of the court to protect us forever. Even now the handmaidens of the princess regent talk darkly of their lady falling into some strange malady. Sooner or latter accusations of sorcery are bound to be heard, and they are as likely to be directed at you, reverend father, as towards your humble servant Isidor.”
“Indeed. That is the next order of business. I was hoping, given your talents, that you would be able to come up with some solution. For example, these worthless gentlemen and ladies who’s lusts I must condone for my own security, I don’t suppose you could cast a spell on the lot of them could you?”
I gave a hearty laugh. “Father confessor, I have no interest in mass enchantments, or taking on the responsibility of souls. As you have so rightly divined, I am an apolitical man, and take delight only in the individual. Communal persuasion is the vocation of the pulpit, one which you exercise to perfection.”
“But Counselor Isidor, I cannot erase from the perception and memory of every courtier the image of the princess regent drooling at the feet of her upstart paramour. Or rather, if indeed I do have such a power, its use would soon be detected in the spiritual realms by other members of my order, to our peril.”
“Then the only thing that I can propose is to remove her from the immediate sight of the court. We might say that she is indisposed with illness, but that would only be a temporary solution, and give rise to more rumors than it would quiet. No, I think the best thing would be for her to go on a long journey.”
“Really? Perhaps the idea has some merit.”
“And to make it more excellent in your eyes reverend father...why not a pilgrimage?”
“Perfect! Like father like daughter. Just as I put the crusading spirit into the Duke, make sure the Lady Leonora catches the pilgrimage fever. There is nothing better for a country than to have a pious ruler away on a sacred quest while the state is left in charge of competent ministers. I will assume the title of Regent myself. But make sure that she comes to no harm, stay in contact and be ready to fetch her back if I need to recall her. There must be no suspicion that there has been an usurpation or that I do anything but by the authority of the dynasty itself.”
“Then if we are agreed might I suggest a trip overland to the shrine of Saint James in Spanish Gaul?”
“Yes, pack her off to the uttermost west, half way to the Indies. Its an excellent choice, traversing countries which are in a condition of civil peace yet time consuming, invigorating, and saintly. Beware Isidor, I am almost beginning to suspect you of piety...which would invalidate my pact with the devil. The devil being you of course.”
“Then it is with diabolical haste that I must beg your Excellency and reverend father’s leave to depart, for there are many things which must be prepared within her ladyship’s quarters.”
“I concur, and you are dismissed, Lord Chamberlain.”
What I spoke regarding haste was true, although not for any reason that Fra Scarpiglione might have surmised. That afternoon I pursued some keen negotiations with my new charges, the stewards and staff of the inner chambers, and by that evening I was ready to stretch the prerogatives of my new position by bursting into the Lady Leonora’s private quarters unannounced and at a rude hour. The lady and many of her servitors who were relaxing and in conditions of immodesty gasped at my bold entrance, and had no time to gather their garments, wits or words of protest before I began issuing commands regarding our immanent departure.
“We go on pilgrimage my lady.”
She greeted my invasion of her privacy with surprise and delight. The only thing she had on was a linen cloth wrapped about her torso, and it was the first time that I had spied the nudity of her legs, well formed due to the sylphen influence of the Water Bearer on the western horizon at the time of her birth, for the linen barely sufficed to conceal the region of her crotch. Far from fainting from such immodesty, she boldly strode up to me as if she were my sister and bound me in an embrace. As she did so she uttered, “My master, wherever you wish me to follow, lead on. For me there is no yesterday or tomorrow...I live only in the present and am incapable either of recollection or foresight. Aside from the dainty pleasures of which I partake in my immediate vicinity, the world to me has become a blank. If you wish me to travel somewhere, then you must take me firmly by the hand, and lead me through the mists of time and space. To think I once craved dominion...or so I am told. For there is nothing in power, or knowledge, or dignity, or possessions which compares to the bliss of the eternal present. Therefore lead me on any road you wish, and call it a pilgrimage if you please, whether to the shrines of gods or goblins, it matters not. Thou art my master, and whither thou pointest is holy ground.”
For a man I was in a perilous position, for I was surrounded by a company of women, some distraught and in a condition of half dress, and some crying over the fate of their lady, who’s mind had become unhinged through her infatuation with a personage who, a few months before, had been a mere nobody at court. Knowing the volatility of female spirits, it was easy for me to imagine how any male in a similar situation, untrained in the subtle arts, might soon find himself a sacrifice to the frenzy of the menaeads. However, though I am loath to apprise anyone, male or female, of my plans I was careful enough to suborn my cousin Esmeralda, and give her sufficient hint of how profitable I would make it for the handmaidens of Lady Leonora should they consent to surrender sole stewardship of their mistress’s person to me. Acting as my deputy, Esmeralda quickly had the household staff presentable and packing up.
“Dress in your finest clothing, strip the household of all its jewelry and ornaments. You will be traveling across half of Europe and will need the funds.” I commanded.
A pair of the lady’s maidservants approached me and asked how she was to be dressed. “The lady is a penitent.” I replied, “The linen wrap about her shall suffice. Provide her with a cloak and a hood for concealment.”
By dawn of the following morning, all the provisions had been loaded onto wains or pack animals and the household of the princess was mounted in the courtyard of the palace and prepared to depart. The gate porter, a man charged by Fra Scarpiglione to keep watch on all comings and goings from the palace, took a long time questioning me about our itinerary. But after a hooded figure appeared at the window of the Chancery and made a gesture of impatience, the porter started cranking open the gates with amazing alacrity. As we filed through the streets of Parva, people stared at the unexpected procession, some, but not many, saluting the princess. Soon we were out in the foothills which surround the city, heading down the Milan road which would take the procession through the plains of Lombardy and points west.
Within an hour we had reached a fork in the road, one leading to the left, along the plain of the Po, and another going east towards the Adriatic. I stopped the column and summoned Esmeralda and the steward of the wardrobe, explaining that they were now in charge of the pilgrimage and the lady and I would go our separate way.
“And what,” asked my cousin, who was somewhat ahead of the others in guessing what was afoot, “if there are those who are not intent on pilgrimage.”
“In that case dear Esmeralda, divide the ducal household’s goods into an even number of shares and have each take their own. But I recommend that you stay together until you get to Milan and can exchange the finery for script at the counting houses. There are highwaymen about...that is, other than ourselves.”
They laughed and waived as the lady and I turned our horses toward the east and disappeared down the road which leads to the Adriatic. Lady Leonora accepted the parting without comment, but at last, after we had ridden perhaps another hour she spoke up. “Why did we dismiss our servants? And where are you taking me?”
“My lady,” I said with a wink. “We are eloping.”
When she broke out in a broad smile I knew that I had said the right thing. “That was clever Master Isidor. They were a nuisance. Now we can be alone together.”
And so the lady bid goodbye to Parva, her court, and her possessions. Together with her humble servant she rode down that lane, at first prim and well maintained, and then deteriorating into a rutted track, which runs southeast from the plains of Lombardy. A casual observer might have taken us for two lovers on a tryst. And so, no doubt would you, Telesio, thou who would fire more darts of moral censure at me than Eros has in his entire quiver. But the mind of those who practice our art is not so easily fathomed, even by another of the same craft. Do you think, as did Fra Scarpiglione, that my enchantment of the Lady Leonora might be driven by mad lust for her charms? Well, who is to say that it wasn’t?
The truth of the matter will have to wait for another time, for the candle burns low and the jailer has appeared with that excellent fair which keeps me in good health and in as mild humor as someone of my melancholic temperament can boast, namely my wine and victuals. For this is the Italian, not the Spanish, Inquisition and until one is brought to that grim scaffolding where all hope ends for common men, the sensibilities of civilization are not denied. And if I had anything to confess to the Holy Office it would be this, that they kept me in far greater comfort than that provided by the doom which I apportioned out to the Lady Leonora.