this is my first attempt at anything like this, if you like it and want me to add more please e-mail me at vampyrekitten13@yahoo.com and include the story title in the subject line so i don’t delete it as junk.
Without You
Chapter 1
I still remember the last time we were together. We were in the car, I was driving. I was just glad to be with you after you had been gone so long. I never asked where you were or how long you would be gone. I was just enjoying spending time with you. I had been working so hard to forget how much I wanted what you could do for me. A few moments in your company was enough that I started remembering why I needed you bad enough to sacrifice everything just to spend a day or a few hours with you.
You asked me to pull into the parking lot of the next store we came to. When I pulled in and parked you reclined your seat to that half way point, just between sitting up and reclining. I followed your example and then leaned over to kiss you. As you returned the kiss you reached down into my pants. You smiled at me. “You are always so wet for me” you said. I smiled at you, “That is because you always give me what I need”
Abruptly you flipped me over so that I was on my back. My head was under your arm and I couldn’t move as you used one hand to play with my clit and the other to squeeze my tits. It hurt, it always hurt, but that was because you knew that it was how I wanted, no, needed it. Nothing else would truly satisfy me. And in that moment I gave everything to you, again. I forgot that we were in a busy parking lot in the middle of the day and that anyone could see, I forgot that I was supposed to be staying away from you so that this didn’t happen again, I forgot everything else and just concentrated on the feelings you were causing.
After a came a few times you picked up the pace. It hadn’t taken long for that first orgasm to hit me, and coming a few times only took a few moments. You were putting fingers inside me, first one and then two. Two was all you could get into me and still be moving as hard and as fast as you wanted to. Your thumb was still on my clit as your fingers pounded into my pussy, curving up to hit my g-spot on every thrust. I was cumming so hard that you had to stop twisting my tits to cover my mouth so that my screams didn’t attract any extra attention.
For a moment you gave me a break to let me catch my breath. Then without any warning your fingers were moving inside me again. It was almost too much. I was twisting and moving as much as I could, not really trying to get away but just needing to move, to do something in response to the intense pleasure mixed with pain. You went back to my tit with your other hand, knowing that I would control myself as much as I could but I was getting past the point of screaming anyway.
Finally, after you had made me come more times that I could count you pulled your fingers out and put them up to my face. I took them into my mouth and cleaned myself off of you. You went to start on me again, and I was begging you to stop. You just smiled at me and reached down when your phone rang. You looked at me, smiled, and answered your phone. After a short conversation with the person on the other end of the phone you told me to drive you home. I did, and went back to my house, now that I didn’t have anything to do or any desire to go and find something to do.
The next day I went looking for you and you were gone, again. I was sad but not really surprised. I hadn’t been looking for you because I needed something, more because I wanted to spend some time with you since you had been gone for so long. Even if I had wanted something I was still too sore to do anything really, but it would have been nice to be able to do something for you.
After a few more days I started playing with myself, trying to find something close to what I felt with you. For some reason this time I couldn’t find any satisfaction, no matter how hard I tried or how many times I did it I never got anything out of it. I tried everything I could think of. Nipple clamps, vibrators in my pussy and in my ass, even putting clamps on my clit and pussy lips. My pussy was bruised with my repeated attempts to match the sensations you could produce. Eventually I gave up on doing it myself and decided that as soon as I was healed I would go out and find someone who could take care of the consuming desire for you.
At first I looked for regular guys, went to all the usual spots people go when they are looking for a sexual partner. After a few dates I would always try to explain what I wanted, the mix of pleasure and pain, being under the control of another but still feeling safe and protected. I got different reactions from all of them; looks of total confusion, disgust, or desire usually followed that conversation.
The ones that were confused at least tried. They wanted me to explain everything that I wanted down to the last detail. By the time I finished explaining everything to them I didn’t want anything anyway. It would be so boring that there wasn’t even any point in trying. I kept trying though. There was always a chance that the next guy would be able to do it. I even tried leaving after explaining it to them and trying to do it another day since now they knew what I wanted. It never worked they always thought that it had just been something that I wanted at that moment and forgot about it. There were a few that came close, like the guy who did me doggie style while I barked instead of moaned, and the guy who had me blow him but instead of cumming in my mouth he pulled out and came all over my tits. But no matter how much they tried they were not you.
Most of the guys who gave me the disgusted look just left. The other ones were really mean about anything that they did to me after that. As if it was payback for making them thing about things that they shouldn’t be thinking about. Usually they didn’t even make me cum, just hurt me or used me to get off and left. I never saw any of them again, and I didn’t want to.
The ones who looked at me with desire were worse. They just wanted to hurt someone and didn’t care how they did it or who it was. Or sometimes they thought they wanted a submissive but then realized that they couldn’t handle it. It is a lot a responsibility to keep a submissive and not many people can do it. I guess they didn’t want to hear me always ask for everything, if I could cum or go to the bathroom or any number of other little things that I needed permission for.
Every one that attempted it left me even more frustrated than before. No one understood me like you did.
Eventually I got tired of trying to explain to normal guys what I wanted. I went to some of the less known places to get men: the clubs that you need a password for, the really dirty strip clubs, and the hotel bars. At the clubs I didn’t need a password even though I knew what they were. The bouncers knew who I was since I had been there with you. They just let me in and I went to work, trying to find a guy who could take me into the clouds like you could. I found out fast why I never went to these clubs alone. The men come on to me like I was a wounded animal, unable to escape, and perhaps, in a way I was. Even though they acted like that on the outside the way they were behind closed doors was totally different. Half of them were too worried about doing something that I didn’t like, so they didn’t do much of anything at all. The other half just ended up hurting me, not in a good way. With those I usually ended up being tied down and whipped or spanked or they would even use clamps on me. Sometimes I even got cut up when I was helpless. No one ever left permanent marks; they didn’t own me and didn’t have the right. I gave up on those clubs and when to the strip clubs.
My goal with the strip clubs was not to find a partner; it was simply to find someone who wanted to use me and would be willing to inflict a little pain and humiliation on a horny little slut. I found a lot of them who were willing to do just that but still, no matter what anyone did to me, it was nowhere near what you could do. It was the same at the hotel bars, men looking for one night stands were totally willing to use me, but didn’t want to be accused of date rape or assault so they were very courteous and gentle to me. After my latest failed attempt I headed home, miserable and missing you. It had been over a year since the last time I saw you, and in that time I hadn’t even come close to having my desires met.
I got home and went right to the bathroom. I went right for the shower and I scrubbed the feeling and smell of sex off of me. I decided that I wasn’t going to even bother trying to satisfy the empty feeling inside me anymore. I was just going to wait for you to come back. And that is what I did. I kept myself in shape, kept working, and kept waiting.
Another year went by and I hardly noticed. I was too busy keeping busy. The only way I could keep from thinking about you was to not think at all. Then one day I came home and you were there. I was torn between wanting to go to you right away and wanting to yell at you for leaving me alone for so long. Something in your eyes stopped me; it had been just as hard for you to be away from me as it had been for me to be away from you. You watched me as I came up to you and knelt at your feet. You touched my hair gently and pulled it out of the way. You picked up a box that I hadn’t noticed. Inside was a stainless steel collar, a solid circle of metal with no way that I could see to open it. You did something to it and it opened. The look that you gave me was the only question that I needed.
I placed my head in your lap and you placed the collar around my neck. You did something to it and it closed around my neck. I wouldn’t ever get it off unless you wanted it off. I didn’t want it taken off anyway so it didn’t matter. Finally you asked me how I was and I just started sobbing in your lap. I told you about how bad it was while you were gone and all the things I had done to try and feel what you made me fell. Finally I told you that I hadn’t even gotten off in the last year because I had given up on trying. You petted me while I cried and told me that you hadn’t expected to be gone that long and you were sorry that I had suffered so much. You told me to go take a shower and get all cleaned up and once I was done with that you would take care of me. I smiled and got up “Thank you Master” and when to go take a shower. My pussy was already wet… just for you.