Advent
Dec 1st
It’s the first day of December, the kids are already starting to get excited and that damn Coke commercial’s already on TV. I swear, it seems to start earlier every year. But still, the first was a bit early to start handing out presents. I couldn’t believe it when you gave me a neatly wrapped parcel. I mean, your present was always early or late, because you’d avoid my house entirely once my parents flew in. I never quite understood why they hated you so much. But the first of the month?
“I figured this would be up your alley,” you said – or something like that, anyway. “Fun, quirky, and healthy.” Well, maybe you made some comment about how I was obsessed with my figure. I know I slapped you, but I don’t quite remember why. I never did understand why you think it’s funny for me to keep in shape. You always protest that I take a half hour out from work most days to work out, but I know you’re the kind of guy who’d never have noticed me if it wasn’t for my body.
Dec 3rd
Today I finally got around to opening that present. I’d wanted to wait until you were here again – something our different work schedules hadn’t quite allowed for a couple of days. But you sent a message saying it would be more fun if I open this one soon, so I decided to take a look.
It looked like another fitness video. “The Christmas Workout” the cover declared, “Get yourself in perfect shape for your man!” There was a picture of a ridiculously endowed blonde doing bicep curls with gift-wrapped weights, and another proudly lifting a poorly-superimposed Christmas tree over her head. It was cheesy, but sometimes you just have to laugh.
Dec 10th
Nearly a week since I last wrote in my diary. I felt like I should apologise, but I didn’t know who to. Back then, of course, I didn’t know I’d be sharing it with you.
Anyhow, it had taken a while longer than it should, but I finally got around to trying out that CD. I was surprised at first that there wasn’t a video with it, but I guess, for this kind of novelty item, they wanted to make it as cheaply as possible. I’d looked at the little booklet a few times, and thought it sounded like a pretty neat idea. They reckoned that through the festive period, you do so much exercise without even realising that you may as well do it in a way that’s likely to improve your fitness. Listen to a CD as it tells you to kneel down, pick up a bauble, stand and reach up, crouch again and stretch again a dozen times to the beat of the music before finally putting it on the tree. Moving presents from the closet to under the tree, so any kids in the house can see the pile slowly growing day by day. Well, I don’t have kids, but it still sounds like a pretty neat idea, setting aside 40 minutes every day to slowly add to the decoration of the house, and work out at the same time.
Oh, and it feels festive too! Fast paced Christmas songs behind the repetitive instructions. Cheerful ballads, many to tunes that just stick in your head, and a constant background of sleighbells to lead the rhythm. A couple of times, I even stopped paying attention to the instructions, singing along like a madwoman as I carried on bending and stretching to the beat of the music.
Dec 15th
Hard to believe it’s half way through the month already, and I won’t get to see you again until after Christmas. The parents don’t fly in until saturday, but you got to work the next few days. That kind of sucks, but at least it means you’ll get a decent paycheck to spend on the sales.
I realised that I’ve not really put much thought into your present this year. I just got you some DVDs off your wish list, which makes me feel kind of bad when you put so much thought into my gift. So now, I decided to make something for you. I’ve got a really cute notebook, and I’m using my diary to help me fill it with words. Call it an advent journal: A record of all the things I’ve thought about you in the time we couldn’t be together for whatever reason. Well, if you’re reading this I guess it means you’ve seen it already. But when I saw on the market stall, a notebook with a cartoon of a giftwrapped girl in a santa suit and tied up with ribbons, I knew it was a perfect choice. You’ve always been into that whips-and-chains stuff. So yeah, here you go. A thoughtful gift to thank you for a thoughtful gift.
And while I’m thinking of that; I’ve really got into the Christmas exercise thing. The first few days it was weird having the tree up but only a few decorations. Lifting each bauble 10 times before I hang it means it takes a real long time, but I’m sure I can feel myself getting fitter. And every day, the tree looks a little better. I guess it’s making me feel even more anticipation for the big day, getting closer and closer to having everything hung up. And as the tree looks better, so do I.
Dec 19th
I noticed something new today. When the Christmassy songs are playing in the background of that exercise CD, it isn’t the usual words. They’re all talking about getting fitter, and being perfect for you, and getting into the Christmas spirit. Weird how I could be listening to it every day, but I still took forever to realise they’ve changed some of the words in the verses. It really helps me to get into the spirit, looking forward to Christmas like a kid again. I can’t wait, I’m almost counting down the days. Such a shame I won’t be able to see you.
On December twenty-first, I decided to get you an extra gift this Christmas. It’s a big surprise, so I won’t spoil it. Even though it’ll probably be new year before you get around to reading this. I was in town and I saw the coolest wrapping paper, and suddenly I had a great idea for something really romantic I could do for you. I even made up a little song about it, to the tune of I wish it could be Christmas Every Day, and started humming it as I searched the shops for the things I’d need. You’re going to love it. I certainly hope you do, it took forever to lug that box home from the supermarket.
Dec 22nd
From the twenty-second, the days start getting longer again. That’s what Mum said, anyway, and she’s read the news. I just know every day would be so dreary, dark when I wake up and dark again before dinner time, if I didn’t have the fun of my regular exercise-dance-decoration sessions to look forward to. I just wish you could be here to see me shaking my ass in front of the tree, bending over and stretching up. I think it’s really doing wonders for my body. I think I’m going to give it a second go today, cheer me up a bit more, and maybe hope it will drive away the winter blues.
Yeah, I feel great. Those exercises really get the blood pumping. I started singing along with some of the songs as I was stretching, and I found myself singing my own words about how much you’re going to love my special present. But when I listened more I realised that’s actually what they’re singing on the CD. Maybe that’s where I got the idea from, my subconscious mind picked it up off all the times I’ve listened. I hadn’t even noticed. Heh, it’s amazing the way your brain can do so many things that you don’t even think about. I guess if I’m listening to the same songs a couple of times every day, some of it’s bound to sink in.
Dec 23rd
On the twenty-third, I started to really miss you, and thinking about some other things too. Looking at that massive parcel standing next to the tree every day, just waiting for the opportunity to give it to you. I’ve been dragging it downstairs to stand next to the tree every day, and then taking it back up to hide in the corner of my room at night, in case Mum or Carly or whoever wonders what’s in it. I wouldn’t want anyone shaking it to find out what’s in it, or anything. It looks so good beside the tree, though. Every time I look at it, I’m imagining the look on your face when you open it. And well, thinking about you when you’re in that kind of mood kinda turns me on too.
Safe to say, I’m easily getting enough extra exercise to burn off the calories of Christmas dinner. And every day, I think of how much I want to see you. I even thought about sneaking out and going round to your house; but I know you’re working late today and tomorrow. Doing the bidding of the evil overtime fairy, in the hope of lots of spending money in the sales. Then I had a thought, though: Rather than waiting until the folks are gone, maybe I should get your special present out of the house tomorrow, and leave it under your tree. I know where you keep your spare key, anyway, and when you get home Christmas morning, you might think Santa’s paid a visit. After all the things you’ve done for me this year, I think you deserve a special festive treat.
Would you like that? Well, I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Dec 24th
December twenty-fourth, Christmas Eve. So close to the end of all this waiting. It seems like every day, every Christmas Workout, I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning more and more. Its got so bad I can barely think now, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to get the extended family out from under my feet so I can see you again. I’ve been listening to the stories in the lyrics on that CD, too. Did you know they’re all about weird things; a ballad about magic mistletoe that makes you so horny you can’t stop at a kiss. A story about a jingle that won’t get out of your head, and trains you to obey the man you love. I’ve even had a few of those things pop up in my dreams, and I think I get now why you like thinking about this control stuff so much. If I’d realised what they were straight away, I wouldn’t even have finished the story. But they get into your head, the more you listen.
It’s got to the point where every time I think about one of those stories, I’m thinking about how hot it makes me. I like thinking about being controlled by whatever manner of elf magic or enchanted Christmas decoration they’re describing. Like I said, I really understand what you see in all that stuff now. They’ve been sneaking into my mind through the back door, along with those catchy bits you can’t stop humming, and I don’t mind. It’s awesome to know that thoughts of you will always be with me.
Anyway, today’s the big day for my surprise plan. Carried that giant box, like the world’s biggest present, all the way across town. People were smiling at me. Some even took pictures. Well, I was wearing a santa hat too, so maybe they thought it’s some kind of costume. I was glad for the size of the package, to be honest. I could use it like a wind-break, to stop me getting so cold. If I hadn’t been sheltered under it, I would probably have frozen to death before I got here. Can’t believe I came out without a proper coat at this time of year. But anyway, the present is next to your tree now (it wouldn’t fit under it), and I can’t wait to see your face when you open it. This is going to be so much fun!
Dec 25th
Christmas Day! I woke up feeling kind of stiff. Maybe I worked out a little too much yesterday, and I hadn’t slept in the most comfortable position. But that doesn’t matter, as the realisation that today was the day burst into my consciousness. My lips formed into a massive smile as I thought about it, and I just lay there, curled up in the darkness as I waited for sounds of life. Then, footsteps on the stairs. I almost squealed with delight, like a kid hearing hooves running to a stop on the roof. Then a gasp, you’d seen your largest present, and the sound of tearing wrapping paper.
I would have pouted a little, I’d spent a long time wrapping the present, and that foil paper is expensive when you need 6 rolls of it. But I was so excited I couldn’t contain myself. I pulled gently on the ribbons wrapped around my wrists and neck, tightening knots that I knew I’d need help to release, as you opened the box and light streamed in. One ribbon-wrapped girl, santa hat and thong, just like the illustration on the cover of the journal in my hand.
And from that grin on your face, I’m pretty sure my Master will enjoy his new toy.