The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Sunday mornings I usually like to sleep in, but not this morning. I was awaken before my alarm clock went off, by the soft warm breath from someone breathing on my face. I kept my eyes closed and explored the room with my other senses. It was quiet and dark. (With my eyes closed that was a forgone conclusion.) I was warm and snug under the covers, while the room was chilled from the coolness of the morning. Winter was still hanging on with a stubborn determination. A big warm arm was draped up and across my chest as I lay on my back. Someone was snuggled up close beside me with his head nestled on my right shoulder. It was a heavy, warm and pleasant feeling. I took a few deep breaths and caught the wonderful masculine aroma of a body that needs a morning shower. It was not a stink or an offensive body odor, but the simple natural smell of a male body when all the scents and perfumes from the deodorant and body washes have worn off. Nature’s perfume would be the best way to describe it, I suppose. If you’ve ever caught that aroma, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, well I feel sorry for you.

I listened carefully and could make out the slow rhythmic sound of someone next to me breathing. I did not need to open my eyes to know it was Andy who lay curled up beside me. Andy, the man my heart had longed for all these many years. It was hard to believe that we had been seeing each other for nearly four months now. It seemed like a much shorter time, which was understandable since we could not arrange to meet very often. Both of us being ‘in the closet’ and his being a cop (an RCMP constable no less), made it difficult to arrange for time together. But the time we managed to spend together was more than worth it. I let the minutes drift by as I lay there next to Andy, savoring every second we spent together.

After a few minutes, I cracked open my eyes, and carefully turned my head to the left searching for the clock radio. I blinked my eyes several times as I tried to bring the glowing numbers into focus. Finally, after what seemed like a tremendous effort, I managed to read the time, 6:17 AM. The alarm was set to go off at 7:30 AM, so I was just a tad early. I lay there with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, or what I could make out of the ceiling, since the room was pitch black. Like phantoms from beyond the grave, old and troubling thoughts started to creep into my mind, and to roll around in my head. There was no question in my mind that I cared for Andy deeply. Hell, I loved him pure and simple. Just seeing him smile at me was enough to brighten my day, and make all the troubles in my life seem small and insignificant by comparison. (Boy, was I EVER in love! I had it bad, believe you me!) Still, I could not help but be troubled by doubts.

Did Andy care for me as much as I did for him? What type of a future did we have together? Where was this relationship going? Although we were very physical in our touching, cuddling, snuggling and kissing, the physical contact had never gone beyond that stage. I wasn’t really concerned about that. I had never broached the subject with Andy, and he’d never raised the subject with me. I was lying to myself, I suddenly realized. If I didn’t have concerns, I would not be lying here thinking about it in the first place. The problem was, that I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I was more than just a little bit scared that if I did raise the subject with Andy, he’d think I was pushing too hard. To be honest, I was afraid that I might push him away from me. Yet, at the same time, I knew that we couldn’t leave the situation as it was. What I wanted, was some kind of a sign that Andy was truly committed to me, and that he saw a future in our relationship. I knew that I wanted the relationship to continue, but I also wanted it to grow and mature. A flower can’t remain a bud forever, after all. (Would someone PLEASE tell me WHY it is that such thoughts always pop into your mind either late at night when you are trying to fall asleep, or early in the morning when you just get up?)

I thought about Andy some more. (Thinking about Andy was a great way to pass the time, by the way. Picturing him in and out of uniform was something that I was sure I would never grow tired of doing.) I absently noted that the sun had finally risen, and the morning light was filling the bedroom. I looked down at the sleeping form of Andy lying next to me. He was nothing but a collection of lumps and curves under the bedcovers, with a handsome head poking out. A handsome head that was still lying on the right side of my chest. I thought about the many nights we had slept together in bed, holding onto each other, lost in each others eyes. (Okay, so that was a corny and sappy way to describe it. It also happened to be true.) I had never seen such openness, trust, and caring in another man’s eyes before. I listened to Andy when he talked about his troubles, problems, and worries. I did my best to hold and comfort him. He did likewise. I have never had someone listen to me so intently, and seriously. He never offered advice, unless I asked for it. (That’s something which I was still learning to do...knowing when to keep my big mouth shut.) When I’d had a really bad day, he did his best to show me that no matter what, he was always there for me. I didn’t want to lose that. On the other hand though, I could not just let things stay the way they were. What was I to do?

“If you keep that up, you’ll put worry lines on your face,” said an all too familiar warm sexy tenor voice. “What’s wrong, love?” Andy asked as he moved his head about.

I slowly turned my head to the right, and discovered that Andy had craned his head up to look at me. My gaze fell upon those soft doe brown eyes of Andy’s that I’d come to know and love so well. My heart skipped a beat. Even first thing in the morning he was gorgeously handsome. I swallowed the lump in my throat, as I gazed upon the face of the man that I’d come to love much more than I’d ever thought possible, over the past four months.

“I’ve been thinking, is all,” I answered. I smiled a half smile at Andy.

“About what?” Andy asked.

“Oh, nothing, really,” I hedged. I didn’t want to bring up the subject of our relationship and it’s future, before both of us were fully awake.

Andy looked at me quizzically, as if he knew I was avoiding something. Fortunately the clock alarm chose that time to go off, forestalling whatever his next question might have been.

“Much as I would enjoy spending the morning in bed with you, love,” Andy said as he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, “I do have to get ready for work. I have that eight hour shift to cover for Stan, you know.”

“Yes, I know. I remember you telling me all about it,” I sighed, and then kissed him back. Andy’s kisses, and the opportunities to kiss him were not to be wasted.

“Hey, don’t sound so disappointed,” Andy smiled at me. “We are going out to dinner tonight at seven, remember? You did make the reservations, right?”

“Yes, I did,” I assured him. “You need a shave, by the way,” I teased him. Andy chuckled softly. I gave him a warm smile as he climbed out of the bed and headed off to the bathroom to shower. I sighed with pleasure as I drank in the sight of his sexy body clad only in boxer briefs, walking away from me. At least we’d be able to share breakfast together. I’d enjoy that. I wasn’t upset or annoyed about Andy having to work part of Sunday. Heck, I was used to his unusual work shifts. It comes with being a cop. Usually it gave me some time to spend by myself. Of course one of the many ways I’d fill the time was by using my powers on some good looking guy, for a bit of harmless fun. Andy was most understanding about this. He knew that I enjoyed hypnotizing guys. He told me a month into our relationship, that he did not expect me to stop hypnotizing guys, then or at any time in the future. All he asked was that I promise I would never get involved with any of them. Is it any wonder why I loved Andy like I did?

Andy was amazingly perceptive in the promise that he extracted from me. He knew that I enjoyed having a hypnotized man undress for me, and even get sexually aroused to the point of ejaculation. What he made me promise is that I would never touch another hypnotized man (or a non-hypnotized man for that matter) below the waist, if that man was nude or was not wearing underwear. I could look but not touch, as the old expression goes. I made the promise to Andy, after I thought about it for half an hour. I suppose it might seem a bit one sided to you, since Andy did not promise anything in return, other than that he would not date any other man. What you cannot know, is that with the exchange of these promises, the level of trust in our relationship grew to the point where Andy was able to achieve much deeper levels of hypnosis during his sessions with me. You see, Andy is one of those very rare persons who is immune to my super hypnosis powers. If fact he is the first person whom I have ever encountered, where I was not able to influence his mind in any manner using my super hypnotic abilities. With any other person, I can hypnotize them with only a few seconds of eye contact, and the depth of control I have is nearly total. With Andy, though, it is different. I can use only ordinary hypnosis with him. As you know with ordinary hypnosis it is the subject, not the hypnotist, who is really in control. Not only have I enjoyed the hypnosis sessions with Andy more, now that he is able to go much deeper, but the benefits to Andy have been substantial as well. He is much more able to deal with the daily stresses of his job as an RCMP constable. We both benefited from that.

In the three months since I made that promise to Andy, I’ve kept it. I have done a few hypnosis (actually super hypnosis) sessions with some good looking guys. While it is true that some of them have stripped down to their shorts for me, I’ve never laid a hand on them. (Well, not while they were nude, anyway. I’ve caressed them with their clothes on, and off, but never have I fondled their naked backsides or cocks). These were nothing but the standard, “help a guy out with a few problems” sessions, and so were nothing to write about. Some of these guys definitely had ‘killer buns’ in tight jeans, but they just didn’t come close to my Andy. With Andy I had all the physical attractiveness that these guys could offer, and something far more important. Love. Andy loved me with every fiber of his being.. I had no doubts at all about that. My mind drifted back to a very special event that had proven to me how Andy felt about me.

It was a Saturday night and I was getting ready to head out to a movie with Andy. The phone rang a few minutes before Andy was due to arrive. It was Andy on the line and he had bad news. He had to cancel a date with me because he had just been called in to work. He was upset about it. Not heartbroken, just upset. When we got together a few days later, Andy asked me to forgive him. He did not get down on his knees and beg me to forgive him. He appeared at my doorstep in his full dress RCMP uniform with a bouquet of flowers in hand. (Actually the flowers were in a box, which he carried with him. It would have looked a bit strange to have an RCMP constable taking flowers to my apartment, or any man’s apartment for that matter.) I invited him inside, and closed the door behind him. Andy stood there, and handed me the box. With a small smile on his lips, Andy told me how sorry he was that he had had to cancel our date, and asked me to forgive him. He didn’t say another word, as I opened the box to see a dozen long stemmed red roses nestled in soft white tissue paper. Andy merely came to attention, staring straight ahead, while he waited for my reply. I remember looking at him standing there and being slightly in awe at just how good looking he was. He knew how much I enjoyed the sight of him in uniform. He was trying to soften me up. It wasn’t necessary, the roses had already done that. His face remained stony, when I took his hands in mine and asked him to look me straight in the eye. His head turned slowly, and in the back of his wonderfully warm brown eyes I could see a shadow of doubt and concern. I told him it was all right. I said that I understood why he had done what he had done. His duty came first above all else, even me. I wasn’t happy about it, I admitted to him, but I understood. It was a part of who and what he was. There was nothing to forgive him for, because I loved him. At that Andy’s face melted into an expression of joy and warmth as he enfolded me in his arms in a firm yet gentle bear hug. He thanked me for understanding and gently pressed his lips to mine in a warm gentle and firm kiss to match the hug he was giving me. We stood there embraced in each others arms for a while, just enjoying the pleasure of each other’s physical touch. I’d like to say that we eventually waltzed off to the bedroom, and I got him out of his uniform in record time, but that’s not what happened.

Andy lead me to the sofa and insisted that we sit and talk about this, about his job having to come first. Andy in his wisdom, forced me to admit to myself that my not being happy with this event, was something that had to be dealt with. Once in a while was okay, but he made me promise him that if ever I felt like Andy was taking advantage of me, or ignoring me, I would let him know. I realized then that Andy was a very special man. It finally dawned on me just how lucky I was to have found him. We spent the evening in front of the fireplace, enjoying the flames of the fire burning there, and talking. Andy spent the night, even though he had to be up early the next morning. And yes, I did eventually get him OUT of that uniform, and in between the sheets of the bed with me. (But you would not care to know the details, I’m sure. And if you did want to know the details, too damn bad. That was a treasured and deeply personal moment between the two us, which I do not wish to share with you, gentle reader, now or anytime in the future.)

I finally wrenched my mind from this trip down memory lane, forced myself to crawl out of bed, and slipped into a bathrobe as I headed off to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of us. I focused on the task of making scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns for Andy, while I made due with a bagel and coffee. I’m not a big breakfast person, and since I’m not as physically active as Andy, I don’t eat as much. (No, that is NOT what I was referring to. You DO have dirty one track mind don’t you, dear reader? Listen slut puppy, I was referring to Andy’s job compared to mine. He was an RCMP constable which was a very physically demanding job. I worked in a office. I sat on my butt all day. So which of us needed the bigger breakfast, I ask you?)

Right on schedule Andy appeared at the breakfast table sharply dressed in his working RCMP uniform. The black (or is it navy blue?) pants with a gold stripe down the outside leg seams were sharply pressed, as was the light grayish blue (I never could decide what the exact colour was) long sleeved shirt that encased his massively muscular torso. He was not wearing a tie, which might have seemed strange, but it wasn’t if you thought about it for a minute or two. When a constable is on duty the last thing you want a constable to wear is something that an aggressive suspect can grab and use to choke the constable. Encircling Andy’s narrow waist was his plain black leather gun belt fully equipped with all the paraphernalia of the policeman. His face was fresh scrubbed, and shaven, as was to be expected. The short black closely cropped hair on his head was neatly combed, and still slightly damp. He was square jawed, with a hard Roman nose, and firm full even lips that were pressed lightly together. His rugged good looks were enhanced with eyes that were dark and mysterious, an earthly and warm brown, perfectly placed in his face, a face that was powerful and intimidating. This morning, though, that face of his was softened with a warm and generous smile, and those brown eyes of his glowed with something special. Something meant just for me. I couldn’t help but feel my heart quicken as I looked at him sitting there digging into his breakfast. I guess this is what love did. It made the ordinary everyday events seem special. I smiled back at him, over my cup of steaming coffee, and I know that my face reflected the same wonderful feelings for him, that he showed for me.

We made small talk, while we both finished our breakfasts. I waited by the front door while Andy went to brush his teeth. When he returned and walked by me as he headed for the front door, I reached out and grabbed his left hand with my right hand. I tugged firmly at his arm. Andy turned around and walked towards me. Words were not necessary. I let go of his hand and held out my arms, open and inviting., Andy waltzed (even when the man walked he moved with a rhythm and style all his own) into my outstretched arms. I tilted my head slightly upward, while he tilted his head slightly down, as our heads neared each other. The sweet silky touch of his lips caressed mine, as my arms wrapped themselves firmly around as much of that manly chest as I could grasp. With the strength of a grizzly bear, and the gentleness of a rose petal, Andy wrapped those two massive tree trunks which he called arms around me, and pulled me firmly towards him. It was only a good bye kiss and hug, I suppose, but there was a world of unspoken passion, tenderness and caring in the short time that we stood there holding each other. He felt so nice, and smelled so good, that I was loath to let him go, even though I knew that I had to. Finally we broke away from our embrace. I smiled at him as he opened the door. He grinned back at me with what can only be called a ‘killer smile’, as he walked through the doorway.

“You need a shave too, love,” he called out to me as he winked at me. He closed the door behind him as he left my apartment.

For the first time, the slamming of my apartment door was a hollow sound that seemed to reverberate in my mind. In the silence that followed, those early morning doubts rushed back into my mind. It was a struggle to chase them away, and get on with my day. Only the thought that Andy and I would be going out to dinner tonight, finally succeeded in banishing those ghosts back to the catacombs of my mind. Andy would not be back until about six thirty this evening. He intended to head home to shower and change before we went out to dinner.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your viewpoint, the day passed quickly for me. I had a mountain of household chores to do today. Everything from the dishes to the laundry, not to mention paying a few bills. So between all that, and rewarding myself with watching a movie on the VCR, five o’clock pounced on me before I knew it. Many times, though, my thoughts would travel back to the two envelopes that were lying inside the drawer of the front hall table. I still had not made up my mind as to whether or not I would give these envelopes to Andy tonight. Several times, in between one chore and the next, I would take out the envelopes and hold them in my hands trying to make up my mind, one way or the other. Finally, I decided that I would just wait and see if the moment was right tonight to give them to Andy. I couldn’t do anything more about the envelopes until then, so why keep dwelling on it?

My mind finally at ease, for the next few hours anyway, I went off to take a quick shower, shave again, and change into a nice suit. I decided to wear a dark olive green two piece double breasted suit. A pale green (almost white) dress shirt, with a maroon tie completed the outfit. My belt was plain black leather with a gold buckle (no, not a cowboy buckle), and the black leather matched that of my freshly polished black leather shoes. It was a simple outfit, and I thought I looked very good in it. I was ready by six o’clock, so I decided to do some reading while I waited for Andy to arrive. I left my suit jacket hanging on the back of one of the dinning room chairs so that the jacket would not get wrinkled while I sat down on the sofa and read a book.

At six thirty-five the doorbell on my apartment door rang. I looked through the peep hole and confirmed that it was Andy standing on the other side of the door. I joyously opened the door and invited him inside. Andy walked into the apartment, hung up his overcoat in the closet, and with a slight smile on his face said to me, “Sorry, I forgot my key. Did you miss me?”

I closed the door behind Andy, and locked it. I turned around to face him. Andy turned to face me. Wordlessly I walked over to him and draped my arms up and around that bull-like neck of his. I pressed my lips firmly against his in a warm, inviting and sexy kiss. After a few heartbeats, I broke away from the kiss and gently pressed my forehead up against his as I looked directly into his sexy warm brown doe-like eyes.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Andy said with a mellow and gentle laugh. (To this day, I still did not understand how a man could have a sexy laugh, but Andy unquestionably did.)

I merely nodded my head in silent agreement. After a couple of minutes (or what it hours?) of gazing into his eyes, I tenderly backed away from him as I unwrapped my arms from around his neck. “Let me get a good look at you, stud,” I teased him.

“Why?” He asked, as he played along. “You’ve seen me before, and many times I might add.”

“I always like to stop and admire a work of art,” I replied. “And you are that, you know.”

Only a hint of a blush crept across Andy’s face at the sound of my compliments on his appearance. All this time and he still felt a little uncomfortable when complimented by another man, even if it was me. Andy was good looking, as I have described before, but dressed as he was now, he looked even better. (Don’t ask me to explain how that was possible. I don’t know how. All I know is that he looked even better than he did in uniform!) He stood there in front of me, arms hanging neatly and loosely by his sides as he waited for me to check him out. He was wearing a dark brown two piece single breasted suit. The jacket had two buttons, with only the top button done up. The suit had to have been tailored since it accented and emphasized his powerful and muscular body, without causing undue attention to any one area in particular. The shoulders of the jacket were wide without being tight. The jacket flowed smoothly from those brawny and broad shoulders of Andy’s, on down to his slim waist, after which the jacket gently flared out to cover Andy’s hips to just an inch or so below the crotch of his pants. With only the top button of the suit jacket done up, I could clearly see some of the front of Andy’s suit pants. My eyes slid down to take inventory. (Like you expected me NOT to? ) His fly was closed, of course, but the view was very pleasing nonetheless. I could see that he was wearing a brown leather belt with what appeared to be a gold buckle. The belt was several shades lighter than the suit, and added a nice touch of contrast to the suit. The belt also matched the colour of Andy’s plain brown silk tie. I could see the bottom part of the tie just obscuring the upper part of the belt buckle. The suit pants appeared to be just a little bit more close fitting than is the normal, but it was difficult to tell due to the dark brown colour of the material. I moved my gaze down lower, past the end of the suit jacket and noticed that the creases in the fronts of the pant legs were sharp and crisp, all the way down to the cuffed bottoms. The dark brown dress shoes that lay beneath the cuffed bottoms of the pant legs had a mirror shine on them to rival the shine I’d seen on Andy’s uniform shoes and dress uniform boots.

I quickly swung my gaze back up Andy’s pants and past the buttoned front of his suit jacket. Slowly, and with a delighted smile painted on my lips, I let my gaze wander up towards that handsome face which I knew waited for me at the top of this mountain of a man. The plain brown silk tie, spotless and completely free of any wrinkles, continued up the front of Andy’s outfit. It was a wonderful contrast to the light cream coloured dress shirt that Andy wore beneath the suit jacket. There was a small and tasteful gold tie pin about halfway up the tie, which helped to keep the tie lying flat on Andy’s chest. I sighed silently to myself with quiescent pleasure as I thought of something else I’d like to have lying flat on Andy’s chest. (Naughty, naughty. I wasn’t thinking about my cock, I was thinking about my hands lying flat on Andy’s chest. My, you ARE a bit of a slut puppy aren’t you?) The dress shirt from what I could see appeared to be smooth and wrinkle free, and lay snugly across Andy’s chest. It wasn’t tight exactly, just not as loose as I’ve come to expect from the standard dress shirt bought at a men’s clothing store. Snuggled in below the bottom of the closed shirt collar was the expected knot in the tie. The knot was exactly centered and expertly tied. Not too tight, nor too small. I flicked my gaze briefly at the sleeves of the suit jacket, and could see just a hint of shirt cuff peeking out beyond the end of the sleeves. This confirmed that Andy was wearing a long sleeved dress shirt.

At long last I let my gaze drift up beyond the collar of Andy’s dress shirt to the magnificent wonder that was his face. I smiled at him and nodded my head as I said to him, “You’ll do, Constable. Oh, you’ll MORE than do. That’s a great outfit. I think the brown of the suit matches your eyes.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Andy replied with a warm chuckle. “I see you’re ready to go. Shall we?”

“Oh by all means let us do,” I quipped at him. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“Me too,” Andy agreed, as he turned around to take his overcoat out of the closet to put it on. His back to was to me as I walked past him heading to the dinning room to get my own suit jacket. Consequently, I obtained a wonderful opportunity to check out Andy’s outfit from the rear as I walked past him. (Now you know why I hung my suit jacket on a chair in the dinning room instead of in the front hall closet.) It was as wonderful as the front had been. Smooth, close fitting and the suit jacket did not have any vents, so it hugged his butt nicely, without being tight. The crease on the back of the pant legs was as sharp and crisp as the front one had been. Already the evening was starting out well!

I plucked my suit jacket from the back of the dinning room chair and quickly slipped it on, as I walked back to the front hall closet. I had the jacket buttoned up by the time I arrived at the front hall closet. Andy held out my overcoat to me, and helped me into it. Moments later, with the apartment door securely locked, we were in the elevator heading down to the parking garage. We climbed into Andy’s car, and buckled up our seat belts. Andy wasted no time starting his car. The trip down to The Cottage, a local restaurant, was quiet and uneventful. We made small talk about everything from how things were going at work, to the latest headlines in the newspaper. As we pulled into the parking lot of The Cottage, I changed the subject.

“I managed to arrange to take tomorrow off work,” I said to Andy as I sat next to him in the car.

“That’s wonderful,” Andy replied as he finished parking the car. “I have tomorrow off work too, so we don’t need to worry about having to get to bed early for work tomorrow.” Andy flashed me one of his killer smiles, and winked at me.

“So are you saying that you’d like to head back to my place after dinner?” I asked him quietly, sitting there beside him in the car with my hands resting in my lap. I was somewhat certain that is what Andy was alluring to, but I wanted to be sure.

“Very much,” Andy responded quietly as he placed his right hand over my left hand while looking me square in the eyes. I swallowed in silence, unable for the moment, to speak. When Andy looked at me like that, with the open caring and love plain on his face it was a bit overpowering. I smiled back at him and nodded my head in quiet agreement.

“Let’s go, then,” Andy said. “Dinner awaits.”

“Right you are,” I concurred, as I open the car door and climbed out into the chilly evening air. I walked quickly to the front door of the restaurant, eager to get out of the cold wind. Andy was close by my side.

Once we had hung up our overcoats, we were escorted to our table by a good looking young man, who turned out to be our waiter for the evening. He was wearing a pair of plain black dress pants, a tuxedo style white dress shirt with a black bow tie. Completing his outfit was a black belt and a pair of polished black shoes. A simple yet elegant uniform. The waiter looked very sharp in his outfit, but I did not pay much attention to him. (Gee, can you guess why?) Andy was sitting across the table from me, and I had eyes only for him. I hid it very well though. Unspoken between us was the agreement that in public situations we would not show the true depth of our feelings for each other. This was part of the price we paid for staying in the closet. We would have to put on the appearance of being good buddies or friends, but nothing more. We were both experienced in playing this role, so there weren’t going to be any problems.

We had only started reviewing the menu, when the waiter returned to ask if we wanted anything from the bar. We both declined, as usual. The waiter left us to read the menus and decide what we wished to order for our meals. We chatted and talked, while trying to decide what to order. I chose the filet mignon. (When in doubt, stick with what you know.) Andy chose the same, except he had the larger size. It seemed that only moments, not minutes had passed when the waiter returned to check and see if we were ready to order. I had the rice as a side dish, while Andy ordered the baked potato, and asked for a second baked potato on the side. We both decided on the French onion soup to start with. We made sure to get separate checks, as well.

“One more thing,” I said to the waiter as he finished writing down my order. “I would like to order a bottle of the house wine, and two glasses.”

“Very good, sir,” the waiter replied, seeming not at all surprised at my change of mind. If he was surprised, he was experienced enough not to let it show on his face. The waiter quickly and quietly walked off with our orders.

“What’s with ordering the wine?” Andy quietly asked me when the waiter had left with our orders. “You don’t normally drink.”

“I think this is a special occasion, and that we should celebrate it,” I answered quietly. “At the very least we should toast four successful months of friendship.” You could clearly hear the italic emphasis I placed on the word friendship. Andy knew what I meant. He grinned a small knowing grin (that was as sexy as hell, by the way), and nodded his held slightly in wordless agreement.

“Only one glass, though,” he cautioned me good-naturedly. “I’m the designated driver tonight, remember?”

“Yes, I know,” I answered him, with a smile of my own. “Only enough wine for the toast I am going to make.”

“Which is?” He prompted me.

“Something you will have to wait for,” I answered. “All in good time.”

Andy quietly and easily dropped the subject, since he knew that he could not wheedle anything more out of me, at least not here. If we had not been in a public place, he would have tried that famous sexy ‘killer smile’ of his, or his ‘sad puppy dog eyes’ look, to try to persuade me to say more. Sometimes that worked, and sometimes it didn’t, but we both had fun when Andy tried that approach on me.

The wine bottle arrived a few minutes later, and I ignored it, as I waited for it to chill. The first course, the French onion soup arrived in about twenty minutes. It might sound like a long time to wait for your meal, but at The Cottage, the wait is well worth it. We filled in the time with conversation. Mostly we discussed the movies that were currently playing and which ones we might want to go and see. The arrival of the soup cut the conversation short. We both savored the soup slowly. It was rather hot, after all. While we waited for it to cool enough for us to eat it, I carefully tapped the side of my wine glass to grab Andy’s attention. He looked up at me, and grinned. I smiled back at him as I carefully lifted the well chilled wine bottle from the ice filled champagne bucket that it had been resting in. Carefully I opened the wine bottle and proceeded to fill the our two wine glasses. I held up my glass to Andy. Slowly he raised his and waited for me to speak.

“To good friends, good times, and all the best life has to offer,” I said to him. It was a simple and mild toast, compared with what I wanted to say.

“To good friends,” Andy replied as our glasses clinked together.

“To you,” I silently mouthed at Andy.

“To both of us,” Andy silently mouthed back. It was the best that we could do, and fell far short of what either of us wanted to say, but it would do. It had to.

We each sipped our wine, and then returned our attention to the soup. A few moments later Andy looked up at me and smiled at me as he exclaimed, “This is great!”

“I’m glad you like it,” I said in between spoonfuls of the delicious steaming broth. “Just wait until the main course.”

Andy raised and then lowered his eyebrows in anticipation as his spoon dived back into the bowl in front of him. The conversation remained suspended as we each returned our attention to the food in front of us. All too quickly, it seemed we finished the soup and awaited the arrival of the main course. We were not disappointed. The filet mignon was heavenly, and the rice and vegetables were delectable. The meal wasn’t better than sex, but it definitely ranked up there in the top ten most enjoyable experiences of the past year. (Even now, when I think about that meal my mouth waters. Sigh.) As we dined, we talked about all sorts of things, from when did we have some vacation time planned, to where did we most want to go for a vacation. We debated several sites, among them the Grand Canyon and Hawaii. Of course we never even hinted that we might be considering going together. It was part of the illusion. We were in a public place, and had to keep up the appearance of being good friends, and only that. (I couldn’t help but feel a twang of regret and frustration about that, but I pushed those feelings aside. I was with Andy this evening, and that was all that was really important.)

Andy managed to wolf down a chocolate desert of some kind. It looked fantastic, but I made due with a cup of coffee and a very small dish of chocolate ice cream. (Damn willpower!) I did not want to stuff myself. I knew that I’d regret it later, if I did. It was while I was enjoying my smooth rich wonderful cup of coffee that the unexpected and unwanted event happened.

“Hello there, Mr. Walton!” Said an all too familiar and unwanted voice, from some where behind me. “What a surprise!”

“Oh God, not her!” Is what I was thinking as I slowly turned around in my chair and composed my face into a polite but not overly warm expression. I had always dreaded bumping into someone I knew, when Andy and I were out on a date. I was concerned that I would not know how to handle it. It was bad enough to be someone from the office, but Wendy Murchason, the office gossip of all people! News of this event would be all over the floor before coffee time on Monday morning.

“Good evening, Miss Murchason,” I said warmly. “Yes, this is a surprise. The food hear is excellent. Did you have a an enjoyable meal?”

“Oh, we’ve just arrived,” she answered as she tugged on the arm of her escort. “This is Harold Evers, by the way.”

“Hello Harold,” I replied as I looked at the young man standing next to Wendy Murchason. He was of average height with light brown hair, hazel eyes and a slim build. The simple light gray two piece double breasted suit he wore was draped on his body in nondescript fashion. Not snug and not loose. Harold looked to be about the same age as Wendy, say about twenty-seven or there about. They made a nice couple, but I wished they would just walk on to their table and leave Andy and me alone. But I had to be polite, no matter how unpleasant it might be.

“This is Andy Anderson, a friend of mine,” I said as I introduced Andy to them. The three of them exchanged simple hellos. The silence that followed was broken by Wendy.

“So is he your date for the evening?” She asked and then giggled like a school girl. “Is there something about you, we should know?”

I was tempted to say yes, if only to wipe that smirk off of her face and to shock her into silence. Fortunately I suppressed that impulse. “No, not at all,” I replied with a half hearted chuckle. “Andy asked me here to help him celebrate. I did not have any plans for the evening so I agreed.”

“Oh goody,” Wendy replied. “You can tell us all about it while we eat. Just let me have the waiter add a couple of chairs to the table and we can get started.”

“Uh, Wendy, I don’t think we really should,” protested Harold. “We had plans tonight, as I’m sure these two gentlemen did.”

“Don’t be silly, Harold,” Wendy chided him. “Plans are made to be broken. Besides, I’m sure Paul and Andy would just love our company.”

“Perhaps another time we would,” I falsely agreed. (God I hated being polite to pushy people who did not KNOW that they were being pushy.) “However we are just finishing our deserts and after dinner coffee.” I tapped my fingers next to my coffee cup in a subtle attempt to emphasize my point.

“Oh, I see,” Wendy replied. “I guess we could just sit and chat until you leave or our meals arrive, then.”

“I don’t think so” I countered. “You and Harold should go ahead with your original dinner plans. I don’t want to spoil your evening, and we will be leaving soon in any event.”

“All the more reason for us to chat while we have the time now,” Wendy insisted. “After all, you hardly ever attend any of the company functions. We’ve never had an opportunity to just sit and chat and find out all about each other.”

“Wendy,” I said and forced a smile on my face. “It’s not fair to Harold to force my and Andy’s company on him, when it is clear that he wanted to spend a quiet evening enjoying a fine meal with you. Now you two go on, and enjoy yourselves.”

“Oh he won’t mind,” Wendy retorted without so much as a glance in Harold’s direction. “Now where is that waiter?” She asked as she looked around the restaurant.

“Well, I’m afraid I DO mind, Wendy,” I said letting the warmth drain out of my voice. “I will NOT be a party to spoiling Harold’s plans for the evening.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Come on tell me all about this celebration of yours.”

“Miss Murchason,” I said evenly while fighting to keep the annoyance out of my voice. Tact was not working so I would have to be blunt, and still try to be polite. “It is rather rude of you to insist on inviting yourself to sit at our table. I am sure your table is just as nice as ours. I must insist that you continue on to your own table, and start your evening.”

“Well, I can tell when I’m not wanted! I can take a hint!” She exclaimed indignantly. “Come on, Harold!” She flounced off in a huff with Harold at her heels He looked over at me and silently mouthed the word “sorry” at me before he turned his head back and followed Wendy.

“Yeah, you can take a hint,” I said quietly to Wendy’s departing back. “But only if it is delivered with a sledge hammer.”

“So what is the story with that lady?” Asked an intently curious Andy, in a quite voice. From the way he said lady, you knew that is not what he thought Wendy was. “She’s got all the sensitivity and tact of a rhinoceros, mixed with the curiosity of a cat.”

“She’s a royal pain in the ass, sometimes,” I answered a bit more sharply than I intended. “She is one of the people who works in my office. She’s a good worker, but she has some problems.”

“No? Really?” Andy asked with faked surprised in his voice.

“I’ll think about her on Tuesday morning,” I said to Andy as I dismissed her from my mind. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

“Now would be fine with me,” Andy replied. “The evening has ended, here at least.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I asked for the checks. It took only a few moments for us to pay for our meals, retrieve our overcoats and head out to the car. The trip back to my apartment was uneventful. I explained to Andy that Wendy Murchason was one of the people who worked in the same office as I did. She did not work in my department, but we saw each other during the day, usually in the lunch/break room. Wendy was one of those people who enjoyed talking about other people (preferably behind their backs) and gossiping. She liked to talk to people and find out about them, sometimes to the point of being nosy. I usually avoided opportunities to sit down and chat with her, because I did not want to be drawn into a conversation that would inevitably be directed towards me and what I liked to do during my spare time. Wendy also liked to share juicy tidbits of gossip with nearly anyone who would listen to her. She could never understand why I always excused myself and left when she started doing that. It was simple. I would not have enjoyed having other people gossip about me, so I avoided listening to other people when they would gossip.

We arrived at my apartment, at about 9:30 PM. I unlocked the door and ushered Andy inside. I smiled at him as I slipped off my overcoat. “How about you make me a nice up of tea, while I hang up your overcoat for you?” I asked him as I batted my eyes at him playfully.

“Sure. Sounds good,” Andy replied as he handed over his overcoat to me and walked off to the kitchen, swaying his hips back and forth suggestively. He was such a tease. He knew how much I enjoyed looking at his butt, especially when he was wearing suit pants or his uniform pants. I am sure that I looked pretty stupid standing there holding two overcoats, with a big idiotic grin pasted on my face, as I watched Andy walk into the kitchen. Only when the closing of the kitchen door cut off the view of Andy’s back, did I come back to my senses. I returned to the task of hanging up the overcoats. It took less than a minute. I closed the closet door and turned around facing the living room. As I headed off to the living room, I passed by the front hall table, and stopped suddenly. Before I could have any second thoughts, I opened the drawer and quickly picked up the two envelopes that were lying inside. I placed them in my left inside jacket pocket, closed the drawer and continued my trip to the living room. I sat down in the middle of the sofa. I decided to let Andy pick which side of me he wanted to sit next to.

As I sat there waiting for Andy to deliver the tea, I let the events of our past evenings play back in my mind. It was a wonderful way to pass the time. It helped me to focus on what it was that I loved about Andy. I remembered all the wonderful nights we had spent together in bed. We always spent our nights together in my apartment. The reason, which I discovered three weeks into our budding relationship, was that Andy was not living alone. He and a long time good buddy of his were renting a house together. It would have been rather difficult for me to spend a night at his house without raising suspicions. Andy did not want to risk his job, or his friendships on the force. So, spending the night at his place was not something that we could arrange, at least not right now. I assumed, then that Andy’s buddy did not know that Andy was gay. Andy had never come right out and said that to me, but I concluded that it was the case. It seemed like a logical assumption to make.

I had met Andy’s buddy, Charles Chatterly, a few times, when I’d spent an evening at Andy’s house. Charles was also a member of the RCMP. In fact, Andy and Charles were troop-mates, that is they had gone through (survived) the RCMP training together. The RCMP training that cadets undergo is very intensive, and builds a strong camaraderie among those troop members who have completed the course and graduated as constables. Consequently, Andy and Charles were very close friends, and enjoying renting the house together.

Charles was a physically fit, average looking man. He was nearly six feet tall, with a sturdy but not muscular body. I had never seen Charles in uniform, nor ‘out of uniform’ either, if you get my drift. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, with a brown belt and a tan pullover knit shirt, Charles was nice to look at. He did not stand out in a crowd, nor was his appearance remarkable in any way. He was an average looking man, who happened to be Andy’s roommate. He was slim and trim, with just a hint of hardness and steel about him. You could see it in the way that he carried himself. He moved with grace and self assurance, that showed he knew what he was doing, at all times.

Charles had dark brown straight hair that he kept trimmed very short., which was to be expected. He was an RCMP constable after all. His skin was clear and smooth, except for a small scar on his right cheek. The scar was about an inch long and ran from just above his jaw line straight up towards the top of his head, almost as if someone had drawn it there with a ruler. The scar actually added to Charles’ appearance. It offset the plain and ordinary appearance of his face and added a touch of maturity and ruggedness to it. Charles’ face was unremarkable overall, except for that scar. His face was set and squared, but looked as if the sharp edges had been filed down to make them softer and less chiseled. He had a small nose, that sat in the middle of that face, just above his average sized mouth with its slightly thin lips. His ears were small and unobtrusive as well. He pale blue eyes added to the softness and suggested someone who would not push back, if he were pushed around. Only his bushy dark brown eyebrows and bushy brown mustache broke up the overall gentle and somewhat mousy appears of his face. You would not think much of Charles if you were to ever meet him. You would probably not even give him a second thought, that is until he spoke to you.

Charles’ voice belayed his appearance. It was strong, powerful, deep, authoritative and demanding. You could not ignore Charles’ voice unless you were deaf. You could not help but pay attention to it. Charles voice was not sexy, but rather it captured your attention and did not let go of it. It was a very useful tool for a policeman. The first time he spoke to me, I was shocked. I found it hard to believe that such a small mouth could produce such wonderfully deep, rich, melodic and entrancing tones. I was curious to know if Charles ever sang, but I never worked up the nerve to ask him. I thought that if he could carry a tune, he could have been a singer. A very successful and sexy singer.

Without quite realizing it, my right hand moved to my inner left jacket pocket and stroked the envelopes resting there. This shattered my daydreaming, and snapped me back to reality and what I had decided to do tonight. I swallowed once nervously, and let go of my concerns. What happened, happened. I would do what I thought was right and live with the consequences. Andy walked into the room, carrying my cup of tea and a cold glass of orange juice for himself. Actually he entered the room, and the room lit up, but only because he turned on several lamps in the room before he sat down next to me. I smiled a silent ‘welcome back’ to him, while steeling myself inside for what I was about to do. I took the cup of tea from Andy. Slowly I raised the cup to my lips and sipped it while inhaling the fragrance aroma that drifted up from the surface of the dark brown liquid. The tea was wonderful, but too hot to drink right now. I placed the cup and saucer on the table next to me. I turned back to face Andy and noticed he had already placed his glass of orange juice on the table, a small distance away from him.

“Andy, I have something special for you,” I said to him, as I reached in and drew out the envelopes from my inside left jacket pocket. “It’s Valentine’s day tomorrow, you know. Open the red envelope first, please.” I asked him as I handed them over to him.

Andy looked at me in quiet surprise, and did as I asked. The red envelope contained a Valentine’ Day card that I had created on the computer. On the outside was a bottle of champagne, with two glasses, with balloons and streamers all around them. The words “Let’s Celebrate!” were printed above in bold black block letters. Andy looked at the outside of the card for about thirty seconds as if he were committing every detail to memory. Slowly he opened the card and read the message inside. He didn’t cry, but he did blink a lot as he read the words that were written there in simple black ink on a plain pink background. The message flowed across both inside panels of the card.

“My Beloved Andy, this is not a card with clever rhymes and funny lines. The words written here come from my heart and are meant only for yours. You have made my life whole. You have filled to overflowing, the dark deep canyon of emptiness in my heart. You have shown me just what it means to feel loved, and what it means to give love, totally and unconditionally. You are a wonderful and special man, who returns tenfold to me, all that I give you. I can never repay you for all that you have done to heal my soul and spirit. In the other envelope is a sign of just how much I do care for you. I only hope it is not too much, too soon. Yours tonight, and every night that we have together, Paul.”

Andy looked at me. He said not a word as he blinked at the tears welling up in his eyes. Finally he regained control of himself, lowered his head and slowly opened the other envelope that rested in his lap. He unfolded the paper that he plucked from the envelope. He looked up at me, and then looked down at the paper as he read it a second time.

“It’s the result of a series of blood tests,” Andy whispered at me in a soft voice that echoed with disbelief and awe. “It....it.....it says that you’re HIV negative, and that you don’t have any other sexually transmitted diseases.” Andy sat there staring at me with a stunned look on his face. I swallowed nervously as I waited for the information to sink in, and for him to really understand what it meant. Slowly, so slowly that a glacier moving down a mountain valley would have seemed like a high speed police car chase by comparison, Andy’s expression shift from one of stunned shock to puzzlement. “What does it mean?” He asked me. “What exactly are you trying to tell me?”

“It means, Dear Heart,” I answered. ‘That I am clean and safe. When you are ready to let our relationship move on to something more physical, you need not have any worries about me. You told me on our first date that you would want proof that I was clean and safe, before you would ever consider any type of intimate relationship with me. Well, now you have the proof.”

“But....but what I if I don’t want to be physically intimate with you?” Andy asked numbly.

“Then we give it more time,” I answered quietly. “I’m not asking you to make a choice now, tonight, or even anytime soon. I only wanted you to know that I loved you enough to prove to you that I am safe and clean. When you are ready, Dear Heart, so am I.”

“Oh.....” Andy replied with only a slight shake in his voice. “But why do you keep calling me ‘Dear Heart’?”

“Because you are dear to my heart, and I wanted you to know that,” I replied. “Think of it as my special name for you.” I leaned over and softly kissed Andy on the cheek after speaking.

Andy took a deep breath and let it out in a long slow sigh, as he sat there looking at me. Slowly a smile broke out on his face, but he didn’t say anything. I’m not sure exactly when or how my right hand had reached out and clasped Andy’s left hand, but it did. The touch of our hands seemed to give Andy strength. He sat up a bit straighter and looked me dead in the eyes. I waited quietly. When he was ready, he’d talk. I was more than happy to wait. While I waited, I picked up my cup of tea with my free left hand, and took a long slow drink, savoring the taste and the warmth of the liquid as it coursed down my throat. It was soothing, and after what I had just done I needed some reassurance.

“I...uh...I have something special for you too, tonight,” Andy said with a slight quiver in his voice. “I wasn’t sure if I should even do this, but your gift to me has made this much easier.” His eyes never left mine, as I saw his right shoulder move slightly. He unlaced his left hand from my right hand. Puzzled, I looked down to Andy’s lap, curious as to what his gift to me might be. It couldn’t have been a card, though, otherwise he would have pulled it from his jacket pocket, and neither of his hands had gone in that direction. When I saw what it was, my heart skipped a beat, and I vainly tried to swallow the huge lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat. I absently put the cup back on the saucer. I was so distracted by what I saw, though, that that I nearly missed the saucer altogether.

Nestled in Andy’s upturned left hand was a box. A small, black box, with a hinged lid. A small black box, such as you find at a jewelry store. The box looked so small as it sat there in Andy’s huge left hand. At the same time, though, the box was all that I could see. It eclipsed everything else in the room. Part of me wanted to reach over and open the lid to see what was inside. Another part of me feared what I would find, if I did open the box. I sat there paralyzed with indecision. I sat there and watched as Andy’s right hand came into view and lifted up the lid of the box. Andy quickly moved his right hand away from the box, once he had raised the lid.

On a black velvet cloth there lay two plain gold wedding bands. Two men’s wedding bands. They sparkled and shone, catching every beam of light in the room, and then reflecting it into my eyes. All I could do was to blink my eyes at the dazzle that seemed to come from the plain and simple wedding rings. The light from those bands overwhelmed my eyes. My mind seemed to have turned into slush. I didn’t know what to say, or what to think. Eventually, I managed to swallow enough times to talk past the lump in my throat.

“What....what does this mean?” I managed to ask Andy, as I dragged my eyes away from those two gold bands and looked deep into Andy’s soft warm doe brown eyes. ‘Does this mean that you want to marry me?” (Dumb and obvious questions, I know, but my mind wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the time, you know.)

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Andy answered softly, as he looked up into my eyes. His gaze was clear and steady. His voice was smooth and mellow without the slighted hint of a tremor, as he continued speaking. “You know we can never get married, Paul. At least not in the sense that a man and a woman can get married. My job, and society in general would not permit it. I bought these rings for us. I thought it was time that I do something to show you how I feel about you, and about us.”

“And just how do you feel about me, and about us?” I asked him. I wanted to be sure I understood what these rings meant to Andy, and what I would be getting into if I accepted his ring. “What exactly does wearing these rings mean, Andy?”

“For now, and forever, I am yours,” Andy answered me. His voice was low and soft, but still the words seemed to thunder from his lips and deafen me. “My heart, my mind, and my soul are yours. I love you with every breath that I draw and with every beat of my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, sharing my life with you, and learning all there is to know of you, as you learn to know all there is of me. For me, there is no other man in the world, but you.”

“This ring is a symbol of my promise to you. My promise, to love you, to care for you, to cherish you, to respect you, and to forsake all others before you.” Andy finished speaking, and smiled a timid smile at me as he looked at me. At any other time, or from any other person those words would have sounded melodramatic, but here and now coming as they did from Andy, those words rang with an undeniable and solemn truth. I could not help but believe Andy.

Oh, boy had Andy ever answered my questions! I understood exactly what he meant now. He did want to marry me, as much as we were able to. Understanding, did not make it any easier to answer him though. If anything it made it harder for me to talk. Part of me wanted to blurt out a quick ‘yes’, and part of me wanted time to think things over. I was fighting my own little civil war in my heart. The only things I knew for certain were that I did love Andy, and that I was confused as hell.

“Paul, will you wear this ring? My ring?” Andy asked, as he picked up one of the rings with his right hand and held it out to me. “Please don’t answer now. Think about it. Call me when you are sure.” Andy stood up and placed the ring back in the box. He looked down at me and smiled.

“Here’s something else for you to think about as well,” he said as he inserted his right hand into the left inside breast pocket of his jacket. He withdrew his right hand a moment later, and tossed a plain white envelope down on the coffee table beside me. I picked up the envelope and opened it. Inside the envelope was a plain white sheet of paper, folded once. I unfolded it, and read it. I was only mildly surprised to discover that this was a lab report. It showed the results from a series of blood tests, for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Just as I had done only a few moments ago, Andy had given me proof that he was ‘clean and safe’ too.

Andy spoke after a few moments of deafening silence. “I’m going to go and brush my teeth before I leave. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.” Andy reached down and picked up the glass of orange juice, which I had forgotten about. Andy downed the contents quickly and placed the glass back on the coffee table, on top of the coaster that he has been using for the glass. Andy headed off to the bathroom, at a normal unhurried pace.

I stared at Andy’s retreating back in silence and wonder, unable to speak. I thought about the irony of the situation. I had been thinking just this morning that I wanted something more from Andy, some sign of a commitment to this relationship. But, I had never dreamed of anything like this! I looked down at the rings as they lay there gleaming in the light. Andy was right, I needed some time to think about this. I couldn’t decide right now.

I stared at the hallway, waiting for Andy’s return. It seemed like only a second or two before I saw him walking back down the hall towards me. He headed over to the front hall closet, and opened the closet door. He slipped on his overcoat, and closed the closet door. All the while I remained rooted to my position on the sofa in the living room. Andy walked over to where I was and looked down at me.

“Whatever you decide,” he said to me, in that same even calm voice. “Know this. First, that no matter what you decide, I will still love you. Second, I love you enough to let you go, if your answer is ‘no’. Third, whatever you decide, be sure it is what is best for you.”

With that Andy bent down and pressed his lips against mine in an unmistakably passionate kiss. “Damn it!!!” I thought to myself. “He’s not playing fair! He’s sure as hell giving me something to miss!” The kiss was all too brief. Andy stood up and looked at me, his face painted with a sad and longing expression, intermingled with the love and caring he so clearly felt for me. I looked back at him, dumbfounded. It was easy to guess at what he wanted me to say, but I could not bring myself to say it, or anything else for that matter. Andy sighed softly, turned around and walked out of my apartment. He closed the door softly behind him. He left me alone, with a heavy heart, and an even heavier question on my mind.