The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Audrey opened the bathroom door, took a step in, and then screamed, jumped back, and slammed the door. She was a brunette and well tanned. She knew that as fact, but those were the only things that separated her from the blonde bombshell in the bathroom. The busty chick who was having an orgasm in the bathroom. Her masturbating, porcelain-pale evil twin. Golden blonde hair versus golden brown body, but other than that, they were pretty much identical, right down to the wide eyes staring sightlessly at her as the other girl came in her pants.

Wait a sec! Her other self hadn’t been masturbating, Audrey realized. She couldn’t have been. She had her pants on. No top, but she still a pair of jeans painted onto her legs. No way could anyone get themselves off through those. Then again ….

She looked down at the low-slung, hip-hugging, and oh-so-very tight jeans she had on, remembering the sexy, teasing friction that had her shivering with delight from simply walking ten feet. That seam pressing … unreal! I swear they shrunk last time mom washed them, but I don’t know how. I can’t go out in these! I’d be a dripping wreck before I reached my car. God, they look good on me, though.

The bathroom door opened a crack and a pair of glazed-over, hazel eyes peered out. Then the girl stepped into the hall, a densely-packed blouse tied beneath her breasts because there was no way it was buttoning up over those mounds. Audrey’d had a similar problem this morning. That was why she had a sweater on. A soft, fuzzy sweater that was slowly driving her nipples nuts.

That had to go, too, if Audrey was going to be doing any thinking today, but first, “Who are you, and what are you doing in my bathroom?”

“I …,” the intruder said. Then she blinked. “Audrey? Why you are here?”

“Hello! I live here!” It was the student nurse’s turn to blink. The voice—well the stupid, fake accent, really—gave away the identity of the speaker. But it didn’t look anything like Sophie. On second thought, yes it did. The face was still the same, sort of, and the arrogance in the way she stood. Practically topless and coming down from a screaming orgasm, she still stood like Sophie, but no way! The tits, for one. Sophie didn’t have any yesterday, and she was too skinny for curves like that. But that was yesterday.

“Sophie?” she asked. Wonder if her body’s as easy to please as mine is? Audrey? What the fuck are you thinking?

“Zofia,” said Sophie, rolling her eyes.

“Whatever!” Audrey rolled her eyes. “What happened to you? You’re … different.”

“You also do not look as you did.”

“Please lose the accent.”

“What accent?”

Audrey sighed. “Why are you trying to look like me? And how did you do it? That’s not makeup. No way!”

“Not makeup, no,” the blonde said with a smile. “Is magic!”

“Magic. Of course,” the brunette said sarcastically. “So you just had to look like me? That’s mental, Sophie. Hello? Guys lined up to go out with you! Even with the stupid accent.”

“Is not accent! You look like me now, not I like you. Go in bathroom. Look at mirror. See yourself.”

“I don’t have to. I just have to look at you and imagine a tan and darker hair.”

Sophie sighed. “You are idiot.”

“And you are getting out of my house. Good bye.” That gave Audrey pause to think. “How’d you get in here, anyway?”

“Met most wonderful man last night. Fell in love. Woke up here.”

“In the bathroom?”

“No! In room at end of hallway on left.”

“Eddie’s room.”

“Ed,” Sophie interjected.

Audrey didn’t like the speculative look in Sophie’s eyes. It felt like she was being checked out. “Whatever. Out you go.”

They hadn’t gone more than two steps when Sophie burst out laughing. “Ed. He’s your brother?”

“Yes, he’s my brother.” A few more things clicked into place. “You and Ed? You’re completely insane. This is a joke, right? There’s no way you’ve fallen in love with him. He can’t even get the time of day from the girl next door, and she’s a wreck.”

“Is funny, but not joke. Joke is your brother turns you into sex toy—copy of me—and you not believe it.”

“Ehhhxcuse me? You’re a copy of me!”

“Audrey, could you and your friend keep it down out here?” asked mom, popping her head out of her den-slash-office.

For Audrey, mom was a sign of normality in an otherwise out of control day—and it wasn’t even breakfast yet. “Oh, hello, Zofia,” said mom, giving a quick, warm smile as though Sophie effing Kowalczyk was a regular around the house. “I didn’t know you spent the night. Have you seen Eddie this morning? I need to talk to him about leaving his room such a disgusting mess.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “And I suppose I should include you in the conversation. You two are practicing safe sex, I trust?”

“Of course, Mrs. Robbins,” lied Sophie. Audrey could tell it was a lie; the conniving bitch had a variant of her, “No, I’m not seeing anyone now” face on. She also looked more than a little confused at mom’s insinuation. That makes sense at least. If Sophie and Eddie met last night, how would mom know? Why wouldn’t I know?

“Good. I was very worried yesterday. And who is this? Your sister?”

“Mom!” Audrey shouted, shocked.

Mom looked up. “Audrey? You know I don’t like you wearing heels in the ….” She recoiled, took a long look at her daughter, then whispered, “Audrey? You’ve grown …,” and began to collapse.

“Told you,” said Sophie in her stupid, stupid, stupid accent as they caught Audrey’s mother.

Well, thought Audrey, her mind spinning madly until it caught and held onto the one ray of light the morning had offered. At least I have a clear path to Paul now. Sophie’s sleeping with my brother? What the …!

Ed got off the bus at the university exchange and ran like mad for the science building. Section D-7 of intro physics had lab in, oh, negative three minutes. He was late, but at least it was because he’d been locked into a really nice penthouse suite.

Nice? The place was palatial! It took almost ten minutes to find my way out, and that was after I made it out of the dome. Whoever owned it was stinking rich and wouldn’t be too happy about Ed borrowing it, even accidentally. Especially after they saw the condition of the bed. Definitely have to figure out how I did that, though, going to sleep one place and waking up in another. Also need to figure out if I’m actually going to sleep. I don’t think I have been lately. I haven’t been dreaming, that’s for sure. I’ve been too busy living other people’s dreams.

He’d woken alone in a freaking huge bed, hopelessly soiled by a night’s worth of frantic, then slow and loving, and finally frantic again love making. Plus he hadn’t turned down his output quite enough yet, so everything was … sticky.

He’d needed an extensive shower before daring to step outside, and to make things worse, Zofia had destroyed most of his clothes in her pre-orgasmic rampage.

Weird how the owner’s wardrobe fit perfectly. Better dresser, though. In the cheapest, most Ed-like attire he’d been able to find, he still looked pretty snazzy. Not all that Ed-like, really. He walked into the morning lab, took his place behind the lectern, looked out at the class, and saw the raven haired girl from yesterday gazing back at him from one of the front tables.

“Monica,” He took him a moment to recall her name before she stretched and the fantastic display of cleavage jogged yesterday’s lab loose. “You aren’t in this lab.” Something pinged off the whiteboard behind him. “And I think you just lost a button.”

“I know. I sort of slept through the start of yesterday’s so here I am, making up the time.” Her eyes were so focussed that it looked like they were tunnelling through the lectern at crotch height. Beside her sat a guy staring wide-eyed as Monica sat, leaning slightly forward to thrust out her boobs, and another girl looking disgusted. It was the other girl made up Ed’s mind.

“You’d better go, Monica. We’ll talk about this later.” Now the other girl really looked sickened, the guy looked depressed, and Monica looked like she couldn’t wait. Still, she gathered her books, winked and oozed out of the lab, stopping only to blow a kiss at a guy near the back who gave a cat-call.

Hope Zofia’s OK, thought Ed. I didn’t go as far as I did with Kimberly, but I also didn’t think I’d gone very far with Monica.

Then he got on with the lecture, ignoring the evil stares he got from the angry girl in the front row. Afterwards, he went out of his way to avoid seeing Monica. As a result, he also missed one-one-nine, Holly, but that was a spot of good luck. Pinky the psychotic teddy bear found him—right as his confused brain realized that he’d had to punch in an alarm code to allow the elevator to open on the penthouse.

Naturally Ed forgot all about this oddity in the press to save his life.

With a scream of, “Kiaaaaiiii!” Pinky ruined Ed’s calculator. Normally it sat in his left pants pocket—it wasn’t a big calculator, that’s what computers were for—but the pants Ed had on didn’t have the amount of pocket space he was used to. Monica had proven that they did have loads of room for forty or so cubic inches of fully expanded erectile tissue, so it wasn’t all bad. Dropped into the breast pocket, the defunct cruncher of small numbers happened to be placed perfectly to be in between Ed and the stiletto wielded by the pink bear.

Still, it was a hell of a shock and, combined with the raw horror of a pink ball of claws and fangs flying through the air, Ed’s delayed reaction almost gave Pinky enough time to stab again. Almost.

“Gha!”

Ed slapped at Pinky and the bear lost her grip. Leaving red claw marks on Ed’s hand, the teddy did a back flip off Ed’s stomach, landed on the ground in a three point crouch, and launched herself again, intercepted this time when the first year physics text slammed her off course and into a locker.

Impacts that would have sent Ed screaming for his mother seemed to have little effect on the foam-filled stone killer, but at least this time she didn’t rebound as quickly. Squishing into the metallic door, Pinky slid to the floor.

“That the best you can do?” asked the stuffed bear, picking himself up. “I’m gonnagut you like a ….” She trailed off as she looked around for her knife. Ed kicked it down the hall.

Then it was Ed’s turn to pounce. Grabbing hold of a pair of fuzzy arms, he slammed Pinky back into the locker and pressed tight.

“What do you want with me? What are you?”

“Up yours, human.” Pinky kicked her stubby legs, either to wriggle loose or because she was trying to bring more claws to the party. “You can’t hurt me and you can’t stop us, so why should I tell you anything?”

That gave Ed pause. What do you threaten a teddy bear with, anyway?

“Uh … because I’ll beat the stuffing out of you?”

Pinky merely smirked.

“C’mon big guy!” said a woman’s voice. “You can take him.”

Pinky let out a squeak and stopped struggling. In fact, she went completely limp and lifeless.

Worried that he’d be gutted if he let up, Ed kept the little psycho in a lock and risked a quick look behind him.

The speaker had the body of a fitness model topped off with boobs that would make a porn star jealous—or fall on her face. Needless to say, he didn’t stop with a quick look, and knowing that he couldn’t forget body like that, Ed felt more than a little disturbed that she looked familiar.

“That yours?” she asked, pointing at the teddy bear.

“Uh, no,” mumbled Ed.

“Good. You look a little too old to need a teddy bear at school.” She held out her arms, an action that did wonderful things with her spandex-coated breasts, and Ed mindlessly handed Pinky over to her.

“Careful,” said Ed, realizing too late what he’d just done. “He’s dangerous.”

“He? This shade of pink? Where’d you find her? No! Wait! Lemme guess. She jumped out and ambushed you. Did she want your wallet or was it rape?”

“No. He’s been stalking and trying to kill me for two days now.”

The girl laughed and said, “Poor baby. We’ll drop the mean pink monster off at lost and found on our way out.”

Pinky turned her head, smiled at Ed, and winked, but before she could do anything else she was crushed into a green and blue sports top.

Smothered between a pair of enormous breasts Pinky went all rag doll again and played the stuffed animal game. You could tell by her face, though, that she hated every moment of it.

Maybe she’s right, thought Ed. Maybe Pinky is a girl. If I was being squished into those breasts, I’d love every second of it.

“Hey, I’m looking for 1262. Am I going the right direction?”

Click! Melissa’s roommate! Duh! That’s why she’s so familiar! Seeing Tanya outside of a dream, Ed almost felt embarrassed. Almost.

“Yeah,” said Ed, trying not to stare. “Just past the stairs.”

“Great. Thanks.” Carrying Pinky under one arm, she walked off. She wasn’t strutting or wagging or anything like that, but damn, she looked good. Her breasts, even compressed by her top, were visible from the side as she walked.

I did that? Ed followed close behind, wide eyed. Wow!

Melissa looked up when the door opened and spotted the two them. She stiffened a moment, then began to relax, her eyes locked into a detailed sweep of Tanya’s body. As Ed walked past, Tanya watched with a smirk and silently whispered, “He’s the geek?” to Mel.

“Hey, Tanya. Be with you in just a minute,” said Mel with a quirky, suggestive nod. Then her eyes passed over the teddy bear and widened in surprise.“What on earth are you doing with her?”

Tanya giggled and jiggled. A lot. “See? Even Mel thinks she’s a her.”

“Yeah.” Melissa’s eyes met Tanya’s again and began to glaze. “She’s a her all right. She’s, uh, pink. We’ve got to talk about yesterday, Eddie. I—”

“Ed,” mumbled Ed.

“You’re Ed?” gasped Tanya, dropping Pinky. “Oh.” Her chest heaved as her breathing deepened and her face flushed. “My.” Her nipples punched out dents in her already outrageously stressed spandex top. “God!” Through the tight, tight-tight, clothing, Tanya wore the obvious signs of a body preparing for heavy-duty intimate action.

Ed looked over at Melissa, questioningly, but got no response. Mel was busy responding sexually to the transformation that had overtaken her roommate. They formed a triangle: Ed staring at Melissa, Melissa staring at Tanya, and Tanya staring at Ed.

Both girls moaned simultaneously and Ed got ready to run, but only in his mind. Melissa looked unbelievable under the influence of intense, mindless lust, so he didn’t actually move, except to drool a bit.

As a result, Instead of making the planned break for the door, Ed got pressed up against, and then down onto, a table as Tanya crushed into him, climbing onto him and straddling his body.

Pinky, forgotten for the moment, glared and scampered off

“Ed. Fuck! Ed! You have no idea how much I need you! How horny you make me.”

“Tanya?” whispered Melissa.

“It’s Ed, Mel! Ed. He’s perfect for us! You like guys still, right, Mel?”

“Yeah, but …”

“Please! Just let me fuck him! Show me what to do and … and then I’ll do you forever. Better! I’ll share him with you! He’s perfect for us! You’ll see!”

This was, from Ed’s point of view, looking better all the time so he stopped trying to resist. An impossibly busty, lesbian fitness model was trying to talk Melissa Carter into having sex with him, and it looked like Mel was—

“OK. But just this once. Wait til you get his pants off. I saw it yesterday and …. Well, you’re going to be impressed.”

“Great! I never thought I’d get wet over a cock, but oh Gaaawd! He’s too fucking perfect! Where are you going? Mel?” Her fingers stopped playing up and down the growing bulge in Ed’s pants as she looked at her roomie with concern.

“I’m locking the door so nobody walks in on us, stupid.” The door clicked and Melissa turned back around, removing with her eyes what little her roomie had on. Only after did she look again at Ed.

“Not as big as I remember it,” said Mel, sneaking a peek at Ed’s tented pants as she crawled up to join them on the table. “That’s probably a good thing, but just in case, let’s see if we can get a little more out of him.” She kissed Tanya deeply, and the two of them, forming a triangle over top of Ed, began stripping each other.

Melissa’s awesome rack, the one he’d used as a model for his sister’s new set, came into sight as her blouse opened and fell away. Then Tanya went to work on her friend’s bra. It fell away and Ed’s cock jerked.

Melissa Carter’s tits! He began to drool again.

And then Mel, after some heavy fighting, pulled Tanya’s top up over the black-haired girl’s head. Stupendous boobs burst free, bouncing for a moment before dangling in all their weighty glory over Ed’s head.

“He likes these,” said Mel, remembering in detail the moment she’d realized how sexy her roomie really was. The exact moment she’d fallen in love with breasts was etched forever in her mind. She lifted a breast to suck on the nipple. “So do I.”

Just like every time Mel touched her breasts, Tanya went off like a rocket. “Never felt so sensitive, as they have since you and aaiiiiieee!” Ed had sat up and begun to lick her other nipple. Juices soaked through her shorts and she began to shake, her gigantic boobs jiggling.

Ed took turns, back and forth between the breasts, Tanya’s and Mel’s, he had open to him, feeling, kneading, weighing, and kissing as the two girls necked furiously. He was having a great time until Tanya’s fingers pressed down, squeezing his almost forgotten dick through his pants and the girls stopped to look him over more closely.

“This thing’s pretty big, Mel,” said Tanya and Ed beamed. “Think I can take that?”

“Of course. We’ve both got toys bigger than that!”

“What?” Ed choked out.

“No we don’t!” Tanya protested, tracing her fingers experimentally up and down the tented pants. “There’s that big beast you bought yesterday, but you hogged it all night.”

“OK,” replied Melissa, giving a conciliatory wink to Ed. “Maybe not. Still, it looked bigger yesterday. Wanna see if we can coax a little more out of him? I wanted to try this all last night—or at least until I got home and found you waiting on the bed.”

Ed blinked, stunned by the admission, as both girls licked their lips in unison and then grabbed hold of his pants.

For a moment, Ed was worried that they’d pull his clothes apart and leave him with nothing to wear home, but Mel popped the top button and Tanya took care of the zipper. Together they pulled the pants down to his knees.

“All the way off?” asked Mel.

“Nah. Keep him hobbled so he can’t run off until we’re done with him,” replied the other girl, stealing a quick kiss.

“Um. Don’t I get any say?” asked Ed, too horny to care, but figured he had to say something.

“No. Nice underwear, Eddie,” Melissa said snidely. “Very metrosexual.” With a tug, she had his boxers down with his pants and slid herself off of him.

“Ed,” said Ed and Tanya together.

“Whatever,” said Melissa, and then, with a soft moan, her lips wrapped around the head of his cock and her tongue began to play.

Ed’s whole body jolted as Melissa’s mouth massaged him. It wasn’t quite what he’d wanted from Melissa, but it was a great start!

“Oh my god,” said Tanya. “You see the look on his face? No of course you didn’t. You have to show me how to do that.”

“Gurgle,” said Ed, twitching. It was better than a great start.

“It’s easy,” said Mel between licks. “Most of it’s common sense and the rest is just paying attention to the guy. Watch.”

Mel went to town, and Ed moaned. She stopped long enough to say, “See? He liked that,” before her tongue danced across the tip forcing Ed to squirm.

“Meliiiiissa!” If she did that again, it’d be all over for Ed and all over Melissa, but she didn’t get the chance.

“He really liked that,” said Tanya, grabbing Ed’s cock and muscling Melissa out of the way. “Lemme try!”

“Hey!” protested Melissa, tightening her grip on Ed and pushing her roommate back. “I was teaching here. Don’t interrupt the instructor!”

“Those who can, do,” countered Tanya, shoving Melissa out of the way again. “Those who can’t, teach. I think you were doing far too well to teach, so that means it’s my turn!”

“Hmph,” snorted the other girl, slipping in underneath the larger girl and applying leverage. “That only applies to professionals. I may be good, but I don’t do it for a living. And I am good, aren’t I, Eddie?”

“Ed,” he groaned. He needed to do something before two nymphomaniacs tore his dick in half, so he spat out, “Share?”

Tanya and Melissa looked at each other, smiled, nodded, and then dove on him. As the two sets of mouths began to play all over his shaft, Ed began to jerk rhythmically.

“He loves that,” one of the girls giggled. Then they shared a kiss while fondling the throbbing erection.

Melissa giggled, a totally new sound to Ed, back and said, “Good thing he’s huge or we’d have a hell of a time doing this.”

“Why?” asked Tanya.

“Hello? Two large heads, small working area?”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s why you have the degrees, Mel. What’s it like when he cums? Good? Bad? Ugly?”

“Why don’t you find out? He’s almost there, aren’t you, Eddie?”

Ed groaned.

“I think he tried to say ‘Ed.’”

“Probably,” Melissa said, rolling her eyes. “Ow! Be careful with your teeth, Tanya, OK? Otherwise he won’t be up for more later.”

Tanya said nothing because her head was already bobbing and steadily accelerating.

“Whoa!” Melissa cautioned. “Slow down. You want to make him cum, not suck his dick off.”

“Can’t. Want it so bad!” Tanya moaned around his cock.

No one understood what she said, but Mel got the gist of it. That’s why she’s got the degrees. “Here, I know what’ll calm you down.” Leaning over Ed, Mel slid Tanya out of her soaked shorts, spread her roomie’s legs, and Ed lost it.

Tanya’s eyes went wide as Ed’s hands clenched in her short hair and his cock pulsed again and again, filling her mouth with spurt after spurt of cum. She didn’t mean to swallow, but it came too fast to do otherwise. When the flow slowed, she looked up and around and Mel laughed at Tanya’s dazed expression.

“Do they all do that?” she asked, white-ish goop dribbling down one side of her face.

“Yup, but not for that long. Or that much. Ed’s girlfriend’s being negligent. If he’s got one.”

“Gonna fix that right now,” Tanya replied, leaving what she planned to fix—draining his body of cum, the girlfriend issue, or both—ambiguous.

“Don’t have a girlfriend,” Ed was about to say, but Tanya fastened herself back onto his cock and began to suck his brains out though his softening dick.

“Greedy bitch,” Mel giggled. “There are much better ways to do that … but later.”

Tanya moaned, sending ripples through Ed, as Melissa started to lap between Tanya’s legs.

One long, fuzzy blur of breasts, lips, and pussies later, Tanya lay on her back with a stunned and happy expression on her face as Ed sawed slowly inside her softly quivering body.

“You have to try this, Mel.”

“Nope. You wore me out, Tanya. You two …. I can’t believe you two.”

“He actually feels bigger than that toy of yours, Mel. I’ve got a guy in me. Can you believe it? Me! This feels so …. Oooooh. So perfect!”

“Not so bad, is it?” said Mel as she watched from the sidelines, looking horny and vaguely amused. “’Bout time you gave it a try, but this isn’t how things usually work. Some guys actually go flaccid and stay that way after getting sucked off twice and then fucked non-stop for,” she checked the clock on the wall, “oh … three and a half hours, don’t they, Ed?”

“I feel sorry for them,” Ed mumbled, tired and sore, but the burning feeling in his cock was starting up again. It was bound to happen soon because Tanya was beginning to do more than just quiver and grind her pussy into him. She was humping back at a frenzied pace and she was gearing up to cum with him, or him with her, just like he’d imagined Melissa doing in the dream.

Melissa my ass. I screwed that up completely. I wasn’t in Mel’s dream, I was in Tanya’s. I made Melissa a lez, not Tanya. I think I made Tanya bi, though. Or at least very specific in her choice of guys. She’s completely insatiable though. I’ve barely laid a finger on Melissa, and that was the entire point!

Tanya’s body arched beneath him, setting of a series of bucks, so he rolled over to keep her from getting hurt banging into the solid lab table.

Note to self, Ed thought as the ability to do so began to slip away. linked orgasms are cool, but don’t mix well with—

“Yeeeee Eeeee Essssss!” Ed and Tanya hissed together as she ground back and forth and kissing madly before leaning back and letting her body enter a continuous, but aperiodic, wave. His fingers splayed wide, Ed palmed her breasts because they felt nice and to keep them from bouncing Tanya all over the place when she started to lose it completely. Then Tanya mewled and closed her eyes, and he changed his mind. She looked amazing bouncing all over. It made up for the fact that her orgasms were disappointingly quiet.

Sucking in a long, deep breath, Tanya’s tits began to move in time with her accelerating movements. Keyed by his partner’s pending orgasm, bursts of sudden and extreme pleasure began radiating through Ed’s body and his thrusting slipped out of his control. Tanya jerked rhythmically as Ed shuddered beneath her and pressurized cum flowed out of her, pooling on Ed’s crotch and between his legs. Tanya froze then unwound in one spastic burst. Ed missed the bouncing breasts because his eyes had closed the moment after her whole body clamped down to milk his cock.

Maybe he’d catch it next time.

Tanya lay on the table, sleeping happily and periodically moaning Ed’s name while Melissa and Ed got dressed. Melissa took her time. Every few seconds, she’d look back at her buck naked roommate, particularly at the physics-flouting mammary mounds, and lose track of what she’d been doing. Finally she sighed and gave up.

“Let’s talk in the stock room.” Not giving him any chance to protest or resist, Melissa grabbed his arm and pulled.

“I can’t think straight around her when she’s like that. Now …. What did you do to us, and how?”

“Uhm ….” Melissa was smart. Possibly smarter, and certainly better focussed, than Ed and he was painfully aware of this. Lying wasn’t a good option. Stalling for time wouldn’t work either. Case in point: He’d already taken too long to respond.

“Bullshit,” said Melissa launching a pre-emptive strike on Ed’s protests. “We’ve been working together for what? Two years? You know me. I’m straight, but suddenly I need my roommate. Every minute of the last few days, I’ve wanted her! I can’t stop myself, but then she takes one look at you and she suddenly just needed to have sex with you! That’s not right! She went off, and I went off and for a while I didn’t even care who you were. I was too wrapped up in Tanya. It was like my mind went to sleep and I just figured, ‘Why not? We’ve done everything else together, why not a guy?’ I wanted to show her a few things for a change.”

“She’s a fast learner,” quipped Ed, earning him an evil look.

“Tell me about it,” Mel snapped. “But once she got on to you, she completely forgot about me. An idiot could see that I was the last thing on her mind. Watching you two … wasn’t how I’d planned on spending the afternoon, but now I have some idea about what’s going on, even if I don’t have a clue why.”

Uh oh, thought Ed.

“Normally, I’d say drugs,” she continued, “but yesterday you were sporting a penis that was at least fifteen inches long.” Melissa’s hands gestured a good two, two-and-a-half feet apart. “It was brushing the bottom of your ribcage, and I just about ….”

Mel drifted off, then shook her head. “And today ten inches, tops! I know how this shit works, Ed, and it doesn’t work like that. Tanya, a rabid lesbian, went completely insane on your cock. That doesn’t work either. I can’t even think about her tits without burning to suck on them and eat her out. Don’t get me started on how much that doesn’t work. You two were going at each other for four hours, Ed! It’s like I’m suddenly in some alternate frame of reality where pornos actually happen!

“But you are the cake … Take the cake! I mean, look at you. You’re actually built! You’re hung like a horse, sometimes, and you can fuck like a god. I mean look at the damn table! You two almost painted it white with cum! This is like taking off someone’s glasses and realizing that they’re Superman. Bullshit. It’s complete Bullshit. You’re a clod, Ed. Uh …. Don’t take that the wrong way.”

“I won’t.”

“Ed, that’s exactly what I mean. You wouldn’t act like that if you were a sex machine, you’d be more …” Her hands flailed in frustration. “I dunno. Confident.”

“Even if you were, your dick wouldn’t change sizes.” She stopped and thought about that for a moment, but not long enough for Ed to squeeze a word in. “You know what I mean. Tanya wouldn’t strip naked and porno fuck. Not with a guy, anyway. I wouldn’t want to push you back on the table and ….”

Focussing her attention outside of la-la land for a moment, she noticed Ed staring at her.

“Yes, you bastard! I’m curious as all hell, but not nearly about what sex with you’s like as much as why. What is going on? Last week, nothing. You were just this dull, nice guy, but yesterday and today totally blew away the Secret Identity, Mr. Kent. And I have no idea how—

“What the hell is that?”

Ed spun around to ward off another attack from Pinky, but there was nothing.

“What was what?”

“Something small. About a foot tall and kind of round.”

“Probably just another Care Bear. They’ve been following me around for the past couple days. Tanya’s about ready, you coming?”

“What? No, it was round and …. Never mind. It was nothing,” said Melissa, looking thoughtful. After the Care Bear comment, Ed’d expected her to run away or something. “Tanya’s ready for what?”

“She’s dreaming. Really dreaming. You do want me to fix things up, right?”

“Not until I know what’s going on, I don’t.”

“Two birds with one stone, Melissa. I did this by accident last night, but I should be able to do it deliberately if I try.”

“Do what, Eddie?”

“Ed. You’re going to love this.”

“Love wha—” Voop. Melissa vanished.