LOOK BOTH WAYS
25
When you hear of the approaching wars and the turmoil of destruction; let your hearts fill with fear, for these things must first come to pass; the end is not yet. You have the time, but not to waste, to know my Father through me.
He pondered on those thoughts for a long time, when first opening his eyes to a brand new day. He wondered as to their intent and origin, along with his continual idle puzzle of where his home had once been and the sound of his own name.
He glanced up at the sky and smiled. No clouds meant no rain. The ground upon which he had slept was warm. The tree below which he slumbered now shaded him. He looked both ways, knowing he was somewhere between here and there, but always hoping for something familiar in the now.
He stretched lazily and rose slowly to his feet. Then he stretched again and leaned back on the warm trunk of the gnarled old tree that had seen more of life than most.
False prophets will arise with threats and intimidation of hellfire and damnation, he smiled, as he wondered how old the tree of life really was, and they, too, will lead many into believing their lies. Then he grinned, knowing he knew a secret somewhere deep within him, knowing also he was determined to wait until his nature promised that which his mind could not recall.
I do not and will not threaten, the thought then came to him, this time, I promise.
He recognised that thought the instant it entered his head, but he knew not from where. The trees surrounding were green in springtime. They lined the road upon which he had been travelling for many days. He was looking for somewhere, or someone, or maybe, he hoped, someone or somewhere had been looking for him?
Do not rush out looking for me in the desert, he mused, as he walked casually toward the road to begin yet another day’s journey, for from there I have now come and been gone, and know it well.
That one he recognised also and smiled. And he did know where it came from. It was where he had spent a lot of time, thirty years, and not too long ago, when he had been a man. He smiled. But he was not in the desert any longer, and he was no longer a thinking man. He was a feeling male, a human being.
He travelled light and stepped onto the highway to begin walking once again, as always, dressed only in his immaculate and expensive suit. He glanced upward at the sky once more and smiled, wondering why his home and his name had become such a secret with him, so secret that even he could not recall them. His gaze turned briefly upward and searched the sky, smiling softly. He hated getting wet.
Do not look for me in a secret location, that they say they alone know of, he thought, as a car raced past him on the way to a known destination. He smiled softly again. That was more than he had, he mused, knowing he did not come in secret, as has been written, and he knew he did not say what they said he did.
He puzzled only briefly on that, then allowed it to drift easily from his mind and imagination, while his gaze soared the skies below the heavens above. He smiled. It did not look like rain.
He puzzled as he walked by the side of the main highway. If he was going to somewhere he must have come from somewhere, but the only place he could remember coming from was the desert, the thirty year desert, so how could he know the place he was to return to?
Be alert and watchful for me in your life as I live it, he pondered, for you will know the day or the hour or the moment when the Son of man has returned to you in human feeling, and not thought.
He knew he was ready to find his home, and his name, wherever and whatever they were and happened to be, but were they prepared to find him?
Live your life in a prepared manner, the thought floated down softly, as a car passed him, braked, stopped, and then slowly began to reverse toward him. It was a police car.
Keep your lights burning brightly for me. I will find you ready and full of anticipation when I come.
The police car stopped beside him.
He stopped walking and waited; smiling softly, as he watched both doors open and two officers get out and approach him. Then he looked both ways, and up at the no-rain sky. And then he looked back at the two police officers that now stood before him. One was a woman in her early twenties, a rookie. She was tall, but not fat, athletic and almost Amazonian, but quite. Her partner was a beefy man in his late forties.
This time you will not desert me on the night of my betrayal, he thought, as he smiled at them both, and my loving sheep will never be scattered from my Father and me again.
‘Howdy,’ the man officer said gruffly from behind mirrored sunglasses. The woman policeman wore the same.
‘Howdy,’ he replied with a smile in their native tongue. He understood them. They understood him, yet it was not his native language. He puzzled then as to how he knew that.
‘Travelin’ long?’ The policeman then asked.
‘Since sunup,’ he answered politely.
‘Travelin’ far?’ the policeman asked next.
‘’Til I get there,’ he grinned at them both in their own local drawl, observing the man’s face to lightly scowl.
‘That the truth?’ The woman policeman spoke next in the same clipped drawl.
‘Yep,’ he answered, still with a smile.
You would not listen when first I spoke what you did not say I did, the thought came to him and he wondered where from. They know very well the things I have always said. I did not need interpretation.
‘Nice suit,’ the woman policeman then asked.
He did not look down at himself. He tried to see through her sunglasses to see if a woman looked at him, or a female.
‘My favourite,’ he grinned at them both.
‘Car break down?’ The policeman asked with a puzzled tone, his gaze frequently running him up and down from head to toe.
‘Nope,’ he smiled softly.
‘Where is it then?’ The woman policeman asked, curious in tone.
‘Got no car,’ he replied in the local drawl.
‘Smart-ass, too, huh?’ She said dryly.
‘Nope.’
‘You from round here?’ the policeman asked him next.
‘Nope,’ he answered.
‘Where then?’ the woman policeman asked, sounding annoyed.
‘Not too sure,’ he said sheepishly.
He watched then, as they both glanced at one another briefly, exchanging lines of communication known to him in nature. Then they both looked back at him.
‘You eaten yet?’ Asked the woman policeman then, and in a different tone, he noticed. It was a shade softer, but only just.
‘Nope,’ he smiled, and only then noticed the hunger pangs from his stomach messaging his brain.
This time my food for you is my words, he thought to say, but he did not. They represent my body, and my body represents my living soul, which is given to you here. Eat it in knowledge of that which I did not say and did not do.
‘Gonna be a hot one,’ the policeman stated, as he removed his hat and wiped his brow with his sleeve. ‘Want some water?’
Drink of my words and wine, he thought, as he smiled appreciatively, which represent a new covenant of salvation, sealed by my living flesh and blood, which I once shed on your behalf, but my Father will not let me do so again, and neither will I.
‘No thanks,’ he smiled with his decline.
‘Body could die of thirst out here,’ the woman policeman stated. ‘Long way to the next town. Maybe never find him.’
He smiled at her veiled intimidation. Do not lay down your life for my sake, he thought, but he smiled still. Instead, live for me, as have my Father and I always wanted for you, and nothing more.
‘S’pose,’ he answered.
‘You best come along with us, I think,’ the policeman said then, opening the rear door of the police car. ‘Take you to the next town, maybe ask you a few questions.’ Then he turned to the woman policeman. ‘Put him in, while I drain the lizard.’
‘Yep,’ was all he said to them. That was all that needed to be said.
He watched the man chuckle then and casually walk across the road and down into the grass, heading for a small tree, which could not hide his girth. He smiled.
‘Against the car, hands behind your back,’ the woman policeman suddenly snapped, bringing his attention away from the policeman and his bladder. His smile faded and then returned.
He looked at her, peering through her shades, or try to, at least, but all he could see was his own smiling reflection.
‘You deaf as well as lost?’ She barked, drawing a long polished wooden night-stick from her belt and then whacking it into the palm of her left hand.
‘Nope,’ he grinned at her. Then he moved against the police car and put his hands behind his back, crossing his wrists, left over right. She cuffed him, and seemingly with pleasure. They were tight.
‘Adopt the position,’ she barked at him next.
His smile faded, as he wondered what she meant, and as it did she whacked the night-stick on the inside of her left upper thigh. It stung, but he smiled, nevertheless. Now he recalled what the position was and spread his legs wide.
She patted him down, on the back, the chest, as her arms wrapped around him, the groin, and then from the ankles to very high up on each of his thighs. Then she stopped touching him.
He grinned into the warm metal roof of the police car, upon which he had lain his right cheek. He had stirred physically at her bold and confident touch of his person. She had known it, and, she had known he had known she knew it.
‘Get in,’ she said. She did not snap, and she did not bark. She just said it, and, she had said it as a female, with no attitude and no tone. He got in. She closed the door, and not softly.
They sat in silence, he in the back, and she in the front. They waited while the policeman came walking casually back across the road and opened the door, then fell down behind the wheel with a grunt.
‘Getting hot,’ the woman policeman said, as she removed her cap. ‘Gonna be a long, blazing, day.’
He smiled, noting how she drew her last few words out, and that her tone had changed back to a woman policeman. It had been a short visit for her female. He wondered then if she visited often, or was allowed to visit at all.
I have come to start a fire, he grinned, as she turned around to glance at him put on the seat belt, and I will guard it until it rages.
He looked both ways, through either side window, but nothing seemed familiar. Then he looked back into her eyes, now without sunglasses, and he smiled warmly at her. She did not smile back. She was too hard for her young years, he thought sadly.
He who penetrates will not find death, he thought, as he smiled anyway. My path is in the middle. I am that I am, a natural male, and a roving sage. I have no interest in the end of the world, resurrection or redemption. I am not meek and I did never say that.
The police car moved off, and not slowly, such that he was forced firmly back into the seat to which he had fastened himself. The woman policeman chatted tough and she chatted often, like a parrot.
He smiled softly.
See? I did not choose you for the twelve, he mused, because you are what you think, and need to be schooled in ways to feel, ever.
The police car sped along. She turned to check him, without ceasing her chatter, then turned back to face the front and continue her chatter, while the policeman just drove the car and looked out of his window, as if he couldn’t care less about whatever she was saying.
He smiled sadly for her loneliness.
A good female and wife is the best of all possessions, he thought, far beyond the price of pearls, he knew, and so the bride exists always for the bridegroom, but only as a female.
He grinned, as he stared at the back of her blonde head. Blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts that you suckled. She was perfect.
The telephone poles on the left of the highway flashed by like the palings of a picket fence; such was the speed at which the policeman drove the vehicle over the earth’s surface.
He smiled softly. I, too, am in a hurry to get home, if I can ever find it, he mused, as the woman policeman chatted on incessantly.
I spoke from the cradle, he almost chuckled. You have not stopped ever since.
He took a deep breath and sighed long. My Father is your alpha and your omega both, he thought then, but I am the one who was, and who is now again, ever.