Mara and Finn
Mara and Finn Take a Walk
I stood alone behind Finn at the party. I was there to scope, nothing else. She was playing beer pong with some friends—two cute skater guys and another masculine girl. I hoped that the gender symmetry between the two women implied nothing more than a platonic relationship because I had already made up my mind. That night, she would be mine.
As I watched the game progress, I casually twiddled my nose ring, something that I do when I’m impatient. It would be rude to interrupt, but she might not mind. I’m friendly with one of her ex-girlfriends, who happens to look a lot like me. Long, dark hair, skinny build, alternative style—maybe even a little bit goth. I like to think that my black lipstick sets me apart. I actually saw Finn for the first time at that same ex’s birthday party last year, when they were still together. We had shared a moment during our introduction, with Finn’s eyes locked on mine as we shook hands, her smile growing wide as if she had known me for a very long time. Our gaze broke with the staccato force that only interrupts a truly meaningful interaction. But it didn’t matter. She had a girlfriend who was kind of my friend, and there was no point in getting in between them. Tonight, though, with Finn newly single, I would finally have a chance.
Finn and her teammate suddenly cheered after Finn swooshed a ball directly into their last remaining cup. Her teammate high-fived her and their opponents failed at their revival attempt. That high-five sealed the deal. Finn couldn’t be more than friends with her androgynous partner. You don’t just high-five your lover. As Finn turned around to regain sense of her surroundings, her eyes caught mine briefly. They swept past, but she quickly realized her mistake and instantly glanced back at me. I smiled, and she smiled back. I melted, feeling a twinge of heat expand and quickly simmer between my legs. She had been turning me on while playing—the ways her wrist flicked the ball so delicately forward, yet with intent precision and control. Her pseudo-cockiness after she hit her target. The inch of her toned abdomen that became visible every time she raised her arms in excitement. Finn knew that she was attractive and wasn’t afraid to show off a little, which I certainly appreciated, even from my distance.
I was happy to see that Finn had started to advance toward me. I crossed my arms and leaned backward against the wall, inviting her into the private corner I had established. The electronic beats boomed overhead, making it difficult to hear anything lower than a yell without speaking directly into someone’s ear. Regardless, she stopped just short of her body touching mine.
Hey, don’t I know you? Weren’t we in History together?
I laughed and looked down at my Vans. No, we weren’t. Trust me, I would have noticed you. I looked back up coyly, deliberately tracing her muscular legs with my eyes, hesitating momentarily on her chest, making sure she noticed my approval. Instinctively, she licked her lips and grinned, her eyes searching mine for the answer.
Ohhh… I met you last year, at Allie’s party! She drew out the oh, maybe due to the onset realization, or maybe to turn me on. Either way, she succeeded at the latter.
Yes, you did. But it’s really great to see you again. I’m Mara, in case you’re thinking of one of those girls’ names from History.
She smirked and playfully rolled her eyes. You’re not gonna let me get away with that one, are you?
Absolutely not. I tried to keep a straight face, but the upward twinge at the corners of my mouth gave me away. I decided to play dumb. How is Allie? I haven’t seen her in a while. People like to think that they know more than you do.
Oh, uh… She’s ok I think. I haven’t really talked to her since, well… Her voice trailed off.
Oh, I’m sorry.
No, no! Don’t be sorry, things are totally fine. Well for me. I guess I broke it off with her at the end there.
Really?
Yeah, it just wasn’t working out I guess.
Oh, that’s too bad.
I said it was too bad but I didn’t mean it, and I let her know that through intonation and my highly-practiced seductive eyebrow raise. People always use filler phrases like “that’s too bad” or “I’m sorry for your loss” when they don’t mean it, anyway. Finn caught on fast and was hooked. She slowly reached behind me and placed her palm against the wall for balance as she leaned forward, lowering her voice as she spoke directly into my ear. The vibrations sent goosebumps down my arms.
Hey, do you want to grab a drink somewhere? This party kinda blows.
What about your friends?
I’ll just tell them I’m leaving. No big deal.
Then yes, absolutely.
Great.
Finn somehow pulled away, despite the chemistry binding us together. As she retreated, I caught her glancing down toward my chest, where my opaque pendant hung over my baggy sweater. She stared for a split second longer than would be typical of a person simply noticing an arbitrary object, almost as if the pendant had entranced her on the spot. I couldn’t believe this had happened so easily. But I wasn’t quite done yet. I had to lock her in, to make sure she would want me above anybody else. Breaking away, she told me to wait where I was standing while she said goodbye. I watched as her female friend’s face shifted from puzzlement to approval as she followed Finn’s gestures and saw me in the crowd. Pleased that I had been deemed worthy, I casually waved. Her friend wasn’t bad looking, as I could now see while she stood facing me. She had short hair—shorter even than Finn’s—slicked back with the sides buzzed tight. While Finn’s athletic features stood out at first glance, this girl had a keen sense of style along with just enough ambivalence to capture anybody’s attention. I began to imagine the fun that the three of us could have together. Finn holding me against her, her leg pressed up hard between mine. Her friend swooping in from behind, biting and sucking my neck as Finn pulled my hair firmly enough to force me to tilt my neck backwards.
Ready? Finn had come back to me, leather jacket in hand.
Ready.
We pushed our way through the crowded basement then ascended the stairs toward the kitchen. I made sure to lead the way and turn around near the top with enough time to catch Finn’s hungry eyes watching my ass. The way she watched me made me feel incredibly sexy. In that moment, I decided we would not be heading to a bar. Instead, we would return to my apartment, where I could finally have her to myself. When we reached the front door, I turned to her.
Finn, listen, I know of a really good place—it’s a great place to go—if you just follow me this way. Just follow me and I can take you there. Trust me, it’s so nice there, it always feels so warm and comfortable, which I know you like. Anybody would like it, and I can show you the way. You can just follow along, ok?
She blinked and nodded, as if waking from a daydream. Sure, I’ll follow you.
I grinned. She looked so cute and helpless with the slightest confusion crossing her face, her eyelids sinking as my words swam through her head. This was a stark contrast to the cocky beer pong winner I had witnessed just moments ago. Maybe she’s been hypnotized before, or maybe she’s just the perfect subject. I pointed to my right. Watch. This is where we’ll go. Down there, and then—I moved my finger in a grandiose circular motion—we have to turn around this way. I raised my hand a bit and swung it heavily, carefully back in the other direction. Her gaze drifted lazily along with my fingertip. Then you’ll see that we’ll move down that way. I let my finger fall lightly to my side, and her chin nearly sank to her chest as she watched my hand fall. It sits deep in the neighborhood, away from all the noise out here. Very, very deep, where it’s calm and relaxed. But it’s not far and won’t take long to arrive as long as you follow me. You’ve probably been somewhere like this before, maybe while driving and your mind just kind of faded out, so maybe you missed it but you already know what it’s like to go there. It’s really very easy, very simple, to slip away to this place. This place where I’m taking you, where you can let me take you. You can go there with me now, right?
Completely dazed, Finn nodded again. I was certain that this was working, but I needed to be sure. Good, I’m so happy to take you to this peaceful place that I love, that you’ll love, once you get there. But before we go, it’s awfully chilly out, don’t you think? You know, it really is kind of cold out here. You better put your jacket on now before we start moving down in a moment. Finn, why don’t you put your jacket on?
Finn, who was still staring at my hand, quickly lifted her head to look at her jacket, then back toward me. Without hesitation, she swung it up over her shoulders and pushed her arms through each sleeve. A genuine smile of approval spread across my lips. I could see that she liked pleasing me, as her face mirrored mine. I reached forward and grabbed her hand as I stepped forward off of the stoop and onto the sidewalk.
Perfect, now we can begin to head down. As I pulled her toward me, I grazed my index finger faintly along her palm. She stepped forward as if she was walking on a cloud, lost in some soft, heavy wisps of moisture and air. The strike of my fingertip sparked a growing trust within her. She didn’t question any of the things I had said, not even to ask where we were actually headed. Now, I just had to engage in maintenance as we worked our way through the busy streets. If her thoughts were to stray beyond my body, my voice, I knew I would lose the seemingly natural progress I had already made with her. I spoke softly as we walked, holding her hand to guide her along the way.
See how easy this is, just following me here? You’re following me, following my voice, it’s so nice to listen to something relaxing as you walk, isn’t it? You enjoy listening to me, I can tell you want to keep listening to me as you make your way down along this path toward calm, toward peacefulness. The night is so pleasant and in that jacket you feel very warm. In fact, you can feel the warmth spreading from your chest throughout your entire body. Feel that warmth sinking heavy into your legs, your feet. Feel it growing and expanding up through your shoulders and back down your arms. It moves into your head, where you already feel so happy and calm, and the warmth just makes you even happier. You’re so happy to be with me tonight, Finn. Tell me how happy you are to be with me.
I turned to my left where Finn walked beside me. I had been looking straight ahead, afraid of the possibility that my words no longer meant anything to her, that she would call me out as soon as my speech ended. But my body was beginning to ache with the pleasure of thinking about my complete control over her. I had to know that she needed me then and there. As I turned to face her, I could see that she was captivated by a holistic bliss that consumed her entirely. A small sigh escaped her lips, and her words caught me. Mara, I’m so happy to be with you tonight. I’m so happy… so happy. She had been sober when we left the party, but her groggy, euphoric appearance would lead anybody to believe otherwise.
Mmm, that’s right. You’re feeling so happy, so incredibly good. Only I can make you feel this good, Finn. I can make you feel twice as good… feel three times as good… feel ten times as good. I paused carefully between each deepening statement, glancing beside me to take in her reaction. After my last suggestion, her eyes closed and her teeth pressed together, her mouth barely open. She let out a low moan as her head rolled backwards, her chin raising toward the starry ceiling above us. Easy, Finn, keep your eyes open but allow yourself to float away. Your body is safe following me and your mind can simply escape, can simply fade into the dark night that surrounds us. Instead, my words fill your mind and you trust them to be true, to show you the greatest pleasure and happiness. Like your jacket, my words warm you, make you feel safe, like you’re at home. My words make you feel at home. You want to be at home with me, don’t you Finn? Now, tell me what you want.
I want to come home with you.
Thrilled that she had picked up on the double entendre, I could hardly wait to reach my apartment. Every time she reiterated my own desires, my arousal intensified tenfold. We were only a block or two away. I had to caution myself not to hurry. There is beauty in this moment, I told myself, one that I shouldn’t rush to pass.
That’s right, you want to come home with me. It’s easy to agree with what I say because you believe my words to be totally and completely true. My voice sounds so nice. You can’t help but listen and believe, listen and trust. Listen and follow. In a moment, Finn, we will reach my front steps. When we reach these steps, all of your thoughts will completely disappear. Your thoughts will float away the second we reach these steps. Tell me what will happen when we reach my front steps, Finn.
My thoughts will disappear.
Very good, your thoughts will disappear as soon as we reach those steps. You want your thoughts to leave you because you know how heavy they make you feel, how much they weigh you down. It would be so nice, so beautiful to allow me to think for you. You will hear my words as if they are your own thoughts. What I want is what you want. What do you want, Finn?
I want what you want. I want you to tell me what I want.
God, she was already pushing me to my limit. I wanted her to stop and touch me right there, in the middle of the street, her hand burrowing down into my tight jeans, absorbing my wetness like a sponge. Just wait, I told myself, waiting only makes it stronger.
I could see my apartment in the near distance, the front steps shining with the light I had purposely left on, knowing I would return late. You’re very close now, Finn. Very close to giving yourself completely to me. You can see my steps illuminated by that dim light. Allow that light to fill you as we walk into it, it fills you like the warmth, like my words, like I fill you. You want me to fill you completely. At no point had Finn seemed more elated than this moment. She was drunk on my words, washed away by my persuasion. Her faced remained held in a consistent toothy grin, like she was soaring high on the most beautifully profound trip. She was physically with me, but her mentality thrived far beyond the brick and mortar that built this city.
We were seconds away from taking our first step. Finn’s pulse quickened. I knew she wanted this so badly—she wanted me so badly. I held my breath as we reached our destination, caught up in the whirlwind of disbelief and ecstasy engulfing me. I squeezed her hand lightly, ready to take what we had started to the next level. Finn, it’s time. Step up and lose yourself in me. That’s right… step up, and you are mine.