But I Don’t Really Want This, Chapter 26
I’ll be home in 5 minutes, Will whatsapp-ed Nicole. Thank God, she thought, waiting desperately in the kitchen. He arrived eventually and she wrapped her arms around him. They made out for a few minutes.
She broke it off. ‘I’m hungry, I want sushi, please’. “Why do you do this to yourself”, said the voice.
‘Sushi?’ he asked. ‘Again? We only just had sushi this weekend. Usually a few weeks pass in between. And we’ve never had it on a weekday.’
‘I know’, she said, ‘but today I really want it. And this will probably be the last time.’ They would be moving apartment next week.
‘OK’, he agreed.
‘I know you said that you were running out of ideas, scenarios, but do you have anything good left over? Anything that you have been saving up?’
‘Based on how you were after last weekend’s sushi, I think there is still mileage left in naked with a butt plug. You were soaking.’
Shit, she thought. How do I convince him to go further. ‘But we’ve done that a few times already,’ she objected. ‘Just one more, uh, “big score”,’ she joked. She moved one hand from around his neck to his crotch and fondled him. ‘I’ll do it’, she said under her breath. She looked back up at him, ‘whatever you want’, before kissing him deeply again. He pulled himself away, and then took her hand away. He took a moment to recover. He does have an idea! she realised. There is something! She took the opportunity to put that now free hand onto his butt, and to pull herself back close to him. She allowed herself to grind slowly against his erection. He buried his head in her hair and did his best to stifle a groan.
‘I have an idea’, he said, ‘but it’s pretty extreme. Further than we’ve gone before. It doesn’t fit in with the gradual progression we’ve done so far’.
‘Please’, she whispered in his ear. She put her hands back around his neck and they made out again. He broke it off. ‘Give me a minute to clean myself up’, he said. She grinned, biting her plump lower lip, and fondling him again. He took a step back from her, worried that she was going to get him off too early. She leaned back against the closed front door, balancing on one foot, the sole of the other flat against the door, still biting her lip and smiling at him, the fingers of her hands intertwined with each other in front of her crotch, her upper arms pushing her breasts together.
‘Take those clothes off, and put them neatly away’, he told her as he left the kitchen for the bathroom.
‘Yes sir!’ she responded enthusiastically, and ran after him, grabbing both of his buttocks and hanging on.
She reflected on the situation as she undressed in the bedroom. Something had gone very wrong the last time they had gotten sushi, and she hadn’t told him about it. She hadn’t wanted too, she had been too embarrassed, and she hadn’t been required to. The closest order he had given her that might have compelled her to tell him was that she should write in Tumblr about what turns her on. Not necessarily about specific events that turned her on, just the general theory of what got Nicole’s engine running. And exhibitionism and humiliation were not new things. She had talked with him about them before, and had written about them in her blog, so it hadn’t been required for her to mention this incident, except in general terms.
And the video they recorded hadn’t picked it up. The incident was just out of visible range, and her recorded surprised reaction to it had been momentary.
It wasn’t just embarrassment that had prevented her from telling him. She was afraid that he might react very negatively. Or worse still, that he might react very positively. If he had reacted negatively, if he had gotten angry about what he had allowed to happen, then he might put a stop to these games. She knew (or at least she hoped) that she wouldn’t want to play them for the rest of her life, but she certainly wasn’t ready to stop now.
And she was afraid that he might react very positively. It had gone too far! What if he had liked it, what if he decided that what had happened would become the new baseline? Could he really? Would she be able to say no to him? He could order her to do anything, but he always listened to her fears. But would she raise them? She was terrified at how horny it had made her. Would she be able to object? Would she want to?
Well actually it didn’t matter now, she realised. She had just given him a blank check. And he had promised her ‘something extreme’. Something beyond what they had done before. She was about to get at least a peak of some deeper fantasy he had been holding onto. And she found herself excited to find out what it was, wanting to try it for him. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as what had happened. Maybe it would be relatively tame. She realised that that prospect was disappointing to her. What reassured one part of her was not at all what another part of her was looking for.
But, she reasoned, maybe she would end up doing something far, far worse than what had happened. And she would do it for him. Because it would please him. And maybe—in fact she suspected it was the case—it would please her too. She realised she was touching herself. Naked, she made her way back to the kitchen.
She remembered opening the door at the weekend to the sushi guy and the feeling of her jaw dropping. It hadn’t lasted long before she had recovered. Mr. Bartok had gotten an eyeful alright, and had paused briefly as the realisation of what he was looking at hit. Recognition, surprise and a toothy grin directed at her had then all in sequence swept across his face before he continued—still grinning—walking to his apartment. The sushi guy—one of the nicer ones—had looked at her sympathetically, apologetically even. That wasn’t in the script he knew, in so far as he knew there was one. By now her dropped jaw had long converted itself into an inviting smile and she held her hand out to take the bag from him. And afterwards, boy had she been ready for Will.
Fortunately Mr. Bartok was—probably—harmless enough. A retired widower who was polite, but seemed happy to keep himself to himself. He had worked his whole life in the casino hotels, probably he had seen a lot worse. Maybe not in his own apartment building, but certainly at work. The fact that he had ended up apparently enjoying it was also in her favour. If he enjoyed it, he was less likely to complain. And they were moving soon anyway, so she could escape this building with her reputation intact.
But today, after arriving back from work, Nicole had been waiting for an elevator to take her up and when it arrived, Mr. Bartok had stepped out. Horror had welled up inside her. She quickly stepped past him, smiling of course, trying to be in charge of the situation. He had not been paying attention at first, but had turned to look at who had stepped in. Oh fuck, she had realised, I’m getting horny. This is going to be a big one.
He was now standing in the door, preventing it from closing. He gave her a wink and a grin. ‘A pleasure to see you again Ms. Brodeur’. ‘For me too,’ she responded, presenting him with her most winning smile, the one she knew dazzled everyone. And—at least partly—her response wasn’t a lie, though she wished it was. She allowed herself to take up a position against the back of the elevator that she would, within 20 minutes, take up against the kitchen door in front of Will. The old man allowed himself to drink in the sight of her presented breasts and then laughed, before waving and walking off.
Fortunately the old man wasn’t a fool, she had thought gratefully. It hadn’t been necessary to come up with an excuse.
The elevator doors had closed, and she had already been writing a message to Will. Two minutes later when she was in the kitchen, he had responded to her text.
Will had explained the scenario to her. The camera was set up, the food was ordered. She was ready. He fingered her as she sat on one of the kitchen high stools. Periodically he would wipe his fingers on her. On her breasts, her face, her hair. No butt plug this time, not necessary.
The door buzzed. He held his fingers to her lips and she sucked them. ‘You stink of fucking sex’, he said. She grinned, they kissed one last time, and he left the room.
She buzzed the guy up and a minute later opened the door for him. Yes! Him, she thought. The guy who never smiled. Who enjoyed the show, but seemed to be enjoying it ‘at’ her rather than ‘with’ her, so to speak. She had a sudden realisation that she loved it when Will would occasionally treat her this way? Oh no, do I like it? Fuck, I like it.
Usually she hated it when it was this guy, preferring the cute, embarrassed, politeness of the other members of the delivery team, the ones who also enjoyed the show, but were nice about it. But on this occasion she had actually been hoping for this guy. Now she had a chance.
‘Thank you’, she exclaimed joyfully, taking the bag from him. ‘This sushi is soooo good!’
‘Yes, I know’, he said. ‘You say that every single time.’ He wasn’t talking to her face.
She smiled at him, and acknowledged his remark with an ‘oh, silly me’. She turned to get the money from the counter. As always the tip was more than generous. ‘Can I ask you a question?’ she asked as she handed it to him.
‘That was already a question’, he said.
Yes! she thought. Contempt. I love it. He thinks I’m dumb, and he’s not prepared to hide that opinion. and he actually thinks that was an intelligent quip that people over the age of 20 say! Encourage him. Let him believe that. Allow him to glory in his superiority. Allow him to believe his intellect is running rings around me and tying me in knots. She giggled in reaction, hand over her mouth, slightly bent double as she tittered at her obvious and repeated foolishness.
‘Well?’ he asked.
‘Well what?’ she asked, allowing herself to appear confused.
‘What question do you want to ask?’
Annoyed. Impatient with my dithering. He’s not going anywhere, he’d just prefer a mute button. Hmm, maybe I judged him too harshly on his “that was already a question” remark. Maybe that’s not at all the kind of thing he says normally? Maybe instead he just believes that comments like that are of a sufficient intellectual depth to far outwit a bimbo like me? Nicely done Mr Delivery Man, nicely done!
He was still waiting.
She looked down at her chest. ‘Do you think my titties are too small?’ She gave them a quick shake for emphasis and then looked back up at him, expectantly.
‘Too small?’ he asked, not believing what he had just heard.
‘My boyfriend thinks my titties are too small. He calls me “Tiny Tits”’. Remembering her recent fantasy of stripper 2 having sex with Will, she had suggested using this phrase when Will had outlined the game. Will had been impressed. He hadn’t said it, but he had taken a few seconds to lean back in his chair and run it a few times through his brain. Nicole could see the movement of his erection under his pants. Good work Nicole, she had mentally congratulated herself. Good work Tiny Tits.
Nicole continued, ‘I already had them done once, but he says I have to have another surgery to make them bigger or he will leave me. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him, so I’ll definitely do it, whatever he wants.’
Usually there was a script for these events. A simple script, but a script all the same. But this time was different. Now he had turned it into a game for her. And if she lost, she would be punished. Probably orgasm delay, she had imagined, and that was unacceptable to her right now. She had to win.
To win, she would have to get the delivery guy to tell her that she should get bigger boobs. That’s why she had been hoping for this guy, the asshole. With those polite fuckers, it would have been much harder. Now I have a good chance.
The delivery guy was speechless. His eyes wide. He was holding his carrier bag in front of himself now. Something to hide? wondered Nicole. ‘So, as I said, I’ll definitely do it, but I’m just interested in other opinions too, do you think they are too small?’
‘No, no,’ he coughed loudly and cleared his throat. ‘No, they’re not tiny, I don’t think,’ he said. ‘They’re big, you’re fine, you don’t have to worry about that. They’re good.’
What the fuck? Don’t you die on me! She realised he had lost his composure. She needed to make him comfortable. Come on big boy, she thought, you have so much potential, show me what you’re really made of. Don’t play the nice guy now, it doesn’t suit you, we both know this. ‘You think so?’ she asked, looking down sceptically, ‘you’re not just being nice? I mean, I don’t think they’re tiny, but I also don’t think they’re THAT big. They’re much smaller than the girls in the kind of porn I like to watch.’
She could see the gears moving in his head. He thinks I’m ridiculous (he’s right) and he thinks it’s hilarious (which it kind of is). ‘You know what, now that I think about it, I don’t think it would be a bad idea for you to go bigger.’
‘Really?’ she said, smiling at him, encouraging him, letting him know that he should expand on that theme. I WIN!!!
‘Sure, in fact, you know what? A girl like you? I bet a girl like you would really, really love it if they were bigger. Like much bigger.’ What a whore, he was thinking. Jackpot! Nicole was thinking. I’ve won and it’s not even close. I’ve demolished the opposition.
‘Really, you think so?’ allowing herself to fill with happiness, allowing him to see just how much she had wanted this answer. A girl like me, she thought to herself, mmmh, yeah, that’s it. Will will be so proud. I’m going to cum all over him! I wonder if I could learn to squirt? Is that even something you can learn? I should investigate that.
‘Yeah, really big. Can’t you picture yourself like that? Everyone looking at you? Think of all the fun you would have. I promise you won’t regret it.’
She allowed herself to bounce happily on her heels, smiling at him, letting her breasts jiggle. He smiled, actually smiled at her for the first time, and briefly he was even looking at her face! She gave him a fist bump and a big wink. ‘Thank you!!!’ she said.
‘Anytime,’ he said.