Christopher, Craig & Co.
Part 23: Choices.
I can’t believe he’s hypnotizing some Spanish guy right now downstairs!
I would’ve laughed, but it wasn’t funny at all. I was jealous. Jealous! I had no right being jealous, after all I had nobody to blame but myself for what had happened.
What kept happening.
I flopped back on the bed and stared at the guest room ceiling. I hated this room. I hated this ceiling. I hated this whole fucking mess. When did my life get so totally screwed?
It wasn’t fair.
I should finally have everything I ever wanted. I live in a nice house, have my car, don’t have to work, and I’m starting back to college this month. I can even hypnotize guys into doing what ever I want them to. But I didn’t think even hypnosis could help me fix this.
Last night Alan was so charming and sweet it made me want to cry. He’s trying so hard to please me and be perfect for me so that I’ll like him. And I think I’m in love with him. But how can I be? How can I love Alan when I love Chris?
Maybe I never loved Chris. Maybe it was all that hypnosis. I did everything he told me to. How do I know I ever really loved him at all? How do I know I didn’t have a really bad time that first night I came here to dinner and didn’t like him and had nothing to talk about and didn’t want to ever see him again and then he hypnotized me and made me keep coming back here until he took complete control of my body and mind?
I remember almost everything now. It wasn’t like that. He set me free. He made sure that I could think for myself so that I could decide what I wanted to do with my life. What I wanted to be.
It would be so much easier if he hadn’t. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with this.
I love Chris. I stayed because I loved him. That’s why I feel like such a total bastard now. I’ve never loved anybody as much as Chris. Or felt so safe with anyone. And I cheated on him and I got caught. My own stupid guilt did me in.
But Alan was the first guy I ever wanted to be with. And now he wanted me. Didn’t that count for something?
“Craig!” Chris’s voice came from somewhere downstairs.
I winced. There was no stalling anymore, no avoiding him.
I rolled off the bed and walked down the hall. I stopped at the top of the staircase and looked down at him.
What was I going to do?
“I think it’s time we talked,” Chris said.
I was afraid he’d say that.
“I think I at least deserve to know where things stand between us, Craig. We haven’t had a real conversation since—” He seemed to falter. “Well, you know. I need to know what you intend to do about Alan.”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“I don’t know,” I repeated, louder.
Chris’s show scraped the foyer tile as he moved toward the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and put a hand on the railing. His face was mostly in shadow.
“Certainly you know you can’t be my lover and his.” There was something cold and distant about Chris’s voice, even though he never raised his tone.
“I know.” I knew better than anyone. I just didn’t know what to say about it. “I love you, Chris. I don’t want to lose you. It’s just, it’s just—” I raked my fingers through my hair wishing I was anywhere else right now. “I have a shot at finding out what would’ve happened with Alan if things had been different years ago.”
There was a long silence. I kept waiting for Chris to say something, but he didn’t.
“Alan was too ashamed or afraid to come out back in school. But he liked me then, too. I know that now. I didn’t know it then. And now he wants to be with me.”
Still, Chris said nothing.
“He’s sweet, Chris. And he treats me good. And I know you don’t want to hear this...”
“Yes, I do,” he said softly.
“Chris, you know I love you. I never meant for this to happen. If I could take it back—”
I sat down on the top step. “I probably wouldn’t.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to say to you. I love you. You taught me things no one else could. But Alan wants me. And I like that feeling. I like that he wants to spend time with me. And I like that I can teach him things about being with a guy.”
I stared at Chris’s hand on the banister. “I want to try things with him, Chris.”
“Then you should.” His voice was soft and thick.
“You’re in love with Alan. I can’t stand in the way of that.”
Chris’s hands disappeared in the shadows of his face.
“But I love you.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I know. And because I love you I want you to go to Alan and see if it works.”
“What will you do?”
“Don’t worry about me.”
My stomach felt like it had turned upside down. “So...it’s just over?”
“No, not over. Because of hypnosis it’ll never be completely over. But you need to live your life. I won’t hold you back.”
“But what if it’s all a mistake? What if I should just be with you?”
“That’s a chance you take. Any choice you make will have consequences. I won’t wait for you, Craig. We’ll just see where life takes us both.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was over. All over. I felt cold all of a sudden. “I’ll—I’ll move out as soon as I can.”
“If you think that’s best,” Chris said.
Silence hung in the air between us for what felt like hours.
“I’m going out for awhile,” Chris said. He turned, grabbed his coat from the hook, and walked out the door.
What have I done?
I sat in my car in the driveway until I felt calm enough to drive. A glance in the rearview mirror told me my eyes were red and swollen. I threw the car into drive and headed downtown.
I just couldn’t be in this house tonight. Not with him. Not with the memories.
I don’t know how long I drove, but I know it was quite a while. I passed Leatherman’s Club more than once. The SUNY campus looked dark and desolate this time of year. As I passed Kampas I noticed a parking spot down the block.
What the hell.
I walked at a brisk clip back to Kampas. A biting wind was blowing tonight. The street was deserted. Inside the bar wasn’t much more populated. When college is on break this is not the most happening place to be.
I bellied up to the bar and hopped onto a stool. Scott saw me first.
“Hey, Chris. What’ll it be?” He stopped in front of me. “Woah. Looks like something strong?”
“Surprise me,” I said.
Scott moved down the bar. I wasn’t really paying attention; I had picked up a matchbook and was slowly turning it over and over.
Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder.
I whirled around, startled.
The hand belonged to Wade. He took one look at my face and turned to Scott behind the bar. “Hand me the phone.”
“What for?” Scott and I both asked.
“I’m calling Andrew. He’ll put an end to this.”
I felt my lip curl. “Wade, don’t be ridiculous.”
Scott reached under the bar and fished around for something. “All you really need are these.” He held up a pair of dark sunglasses.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think that’ll help.”
“Well, you could just pick up some random guy,” Scott said matter-of-factly. “Y’know, not even ask his name and just be baaad.” He drew out the word ‘bad’ teasingly. “Granted the effects are usually only temporary.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“I don’t know, if you do something temporary often enough it’s almost like permanent, isn’t it?”
I grinned in spite of myself. “You’re a sweet guy, Scott.”
He smiled a megawatt smile.
These two wonderful guys were trying hard to cheer me up. I didn’t want to stay and disappoint them. “I don’t think coming here was such a good idea.”
“You haven’t had your drink yet!”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you later.”
Wade frowned. “Chris, maybe I could get off early and—”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t be very good company.”
Wade sighed. “That’s not really the point.”
I touched his cheek and smiled. “I love that you’re worried about me. And I love you. But I want you to finish your shift like normal. I’ll still be around when you get out of work.”
“If you need anything...”
I shook my head. “We’ll talk later.” I got up and walked toward the door. “’Night, Scott,” I called over my shoulder.
As I was going out, Nick Phillips was coming in.
“Nick!” I cried in surprise. He was dressed in baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.
“Why don’t you meet me at my house?” I suggested.
He shrugged. “Okay.”
To be continued in Part 24...
Christopher, Craig & Co.
Part 24: Giving Nick the Finger.
Craig’s car was gone again when I pulled into the driveway. I wasn’t going to dwell on it. Not now. He had to live his life as he saw fit. It wasn’t for me to intervene and change things. Even though I could in any number of ways, from turning Alan straight again to re-enslaving Craig.
Nick pulled in behind me and followed me to the front door. I unlocked it and we both entered, Nick kicking off his sneakers as programmed.
I hung up both our coats and turned to face Nick.
He swayed on his feet as he lapsed into his suggestive state. I looked him over, from the top of his head to the tips of his white-socked toes. What to do with Nick tonight?
I still had about three weeks until I needed to finish him. I hadn’t even planned on hypnotizing him tonight. He had just walked into my life at just the right moment to help me pass some time. Really he was only here as a distraction. Hell, last time I’d told him he was only a toy to be used to please other men.
I was a man with a new toy.
“Take off your jeans.”
He unbuttoned his pants and let them slide down his legs before stepping out of them. He wore only a white jockstrap under them. Good.
“Get down on your knees, boy,” I commanded.
He dropped to his knees without hesitation.
“You will not get off your knees until I give you permission. Do you understand?”
“You like being on your knees. It makes it easier to please other men. You must always use your body for other men’s pleasure, Nick. You’re a toy boy and you must be played with.”
“Take off your shirt.”
He pulled the hooded sweatshirt up off over his head and cast it aside.
“Pull down the jock.”
He did. His erect cock bobbed in the air.
I had a cute young college guy kneeling naked in my foyer. A cute young college guy who believed his purpose in life to act as a tool for pleasing men. But I still didn’t have a clue what to do with him tonight. The way I was feeling right now I sure didn’t want sex. I really just wanted a distraction.
“Start stroking yourself.”
Nick’s fingers closed around his cock and began pumping slowly up and down the shaft.
“You will not cum without permission. Do you understand?”
I watched Nick masturbate, still not sure why I even brought him here. I should really just send him home.
I walked to the kitchen to pour myself a drink, then stopped in the den to check my messages. All the while, Nick pumped his cock. I could hear his breath coming in short gasps now and then, but he never let himself climax. Good boy.
I hit play on the answering machine.
“<beep> Craig? It’s Alan. Are you there? Pick up. Okay, well, I’m home if you want to come over. I miss you. <beep>“
I punched the erase button.
I turned and stared at Nick’s reddening face.
“That’s it, pump harder, Nick. But you can’t cum. Don’t dare cum. Pump that cock.”
Nick was beginning to sweat, his body glistening in the dim light of the foyer.
“Do you want to cum?” I asked.
“Yes, sir,” he gasped.
“Well you can’t! Not yet. I want you to think about what it would be like to have a cock in your mouth. Remember what that feels like, what it tastes like, what it smells like. Do you remember?”
“You want a cock in your mouth now, don’t you, Nick?”
“You’re a cocksucker, aren’t you, Nick?”
“Stick your finger in your mouth, Nick.”
Nick stuck the index finger of his free hand into his mouth.
“Lick your finger, Nick. Suck it. Pretend it’s a cock.”
Nick worked his finger in and out of his mouth several times, still continuing to pump his own cock.
“You’ve never been fucked, have you, Nick?”
“No, sir.” His words were garbled by the finger in his mouth.
“You’ve never had a cock up your ass. That’s too bad. You’re missing out. In fact, just thinking about it makes you want to pump even harder. You want a cock up your ass. You can only imagine how amazing that would feel. You want the feel of a cock in your ass and a cock in your mouth as you pump your own cock harder and harder.”
Nick was panting and sweating now. Still he pumped his cock.
“Now reach that finger around behind you, Nick. Pretend it’s a cock. You want it in your ass, Nick. Shove that finger up your ass!”
Nick bucked and gasped. His right hand was pumping his cock furiously.
“Fuck that ass, Nick.”
He slid his own finger in and out of his ass, gasping and moaning softly. He was beginning to sway on his knees.
“Nick, when I allow you to cum you will catch all of it in your hand. You will not want to waste a drop. Do you understand?”
“Are you ready?”
Nick bucked violently, his entire body rocked with spasms. He covered his cock with his hand, shooting all over it, but catching most of his cum. He rode out the orgasm, pitching forward and backward, his finger still in his ass.
“Now lick that hand clean, Nick!”
He drew his hand to his mouth and licked his own cum off his hand.
“Nick, from now on you will find that you can’t cum unless you have something up your ass. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” He slurped his fingers.
“What do you need to cum?”
“Something up my ass.”
“Good boy. You will dream of having a cock up your ass now, boy. You will imagine what that will be like. For now you will finger yourself when you masturbate. Do you understand?”
“Good. One more thing. When you dream of sucking a cock or being fucked by a cock it will always be the same cock. You will only dream of Marty’s cock. Do you understand?”
“Whose cock will you dream of?”
“Say it again.”
“You want to taste Marty’s cock. You want it inside you. The very idea of it makes you hot and horny. Look, you’re getting hard again already.” I laughed. “Get up and get dressed.”
Nick pulled up his jock, then pulled on his jeans and sweatshirt. He stood waiting.
“When you get home tonight you will masturbate again, thinking of Marty’s cock and fucking your mouth and ass with your finger. Do you understand what you must do?”
“Do you have any questions?”
“Good boy. Now go home. 1...2...3.”
Nick shoved his feet in his sneakers, donned his coat, and left.