The Coffee Shop V: Happiness Is A Handsome Hypnotized Hunk
Chapter 4. Building Bridges.
“A fat lot of good your advice did,” Jack yelled at me as he turned about and glared at me.
He was striking out at me in anger and fear. At least that is what I told myself. It helped me to keep my temper in check. The two of us had already had words tonight. Another fight would not help matters any.
“You had to tell him. It was the right thing to do, and deep down you know I’m right. Now I suggest you follow his advice,” I said softly, but my voice had a distinct sternness to its tone.
“Are you going to hang around for the fireworks when Steve comes back? If Steve comes back?” Jack asked with a slight shake in his voice. His tempter had cooled somewhat, but he was still very upset.
“Only if you want the two of us to stay,” I replied. “That’s what friends are for, to stand by you in the hard times.”
“I’m not sure I want you to stay. You made Steve leave,” Jack spat at me, as his anger flared up.
“Really?” I asked him softly, as I raised one eyebrow looking at him quizzically. “Is that what you honestly believe?”
Jack huffed at me, but he didn’t say anything. He turned away muttering under his breath.
“What was that?” I asked him.
“You’re right, damn it,” Jack snared at me. He studied my face as if the answer to his problem was written on my face somewhere. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m?I’m scared.”
I nodded silently at Jack. What could I say?
“Yes, please stay,” Jack continued in a shaky voice. “This whole thing isn’t going very well and having the two of you around helps. What should I do when Steve comes back, if he comes back?”
“I think that is something you’re going to have to work out for yourself, Jack,” I answered with a soft sad sigh.
“Can’t you give me even a hint of an idea?” Jack petitioned. A few seconds ago he was discarding my advice and now he was asking for it again. A drowning man grabs for anything to hold on to, they say. Jack’s mental state was probably akin to a drowning man.
“Try telling Steve the truth. That’s usually a good place to start. Don’t try to hide your feelings or try to excuse what you’ve done,” I answered simply.
“Okay. I’m going to go in the other room and think about all this. Let me know when Steve comes back,” Jack requested as he turned about headed off to the kitchen. Moments later, Andy and I were alone.
“Maybe we should leave,” Andy suggested after a few minutes of silence. “I’m not exactly comfortable having a front row seat to a domestic disturbance.”
“Neither am I, dear heart,” I responded as I gave his hand a big squeeze. “We were asked by a friend to stay, and I think we should. We’re not fair weather friends. We’ve got to ride out this storm with Steve and Jack. It won’t be pleasant, but we owe them much.”
“Indeed we do, Texas,” Andy replied with a sexy smile and a squeeze of my hand. “Forget that I even mentioned wanting to leave. We’re here for them, both of them.”
Andy and I passed the time waiting for Steve’s return by talking about our first date, which had been arranged by Steve and Jack. The reaffirmation of just how much we owed those two dear men strengthened our resolve to stay around and help in whatever minor way we could. We were talking about our first time lying in front of the log fire when a loud slam announced the return of Steve.
Steve walked into the living room and sat down in the chair he had vacated some 30 minutes before. He nodded at Andy and me in passing but didn’t say anything to us. He had a very determined look on his face. It was clear he had made a decision. I ached to know what he had decided to do, but I dared not ask him.
“Jack, Steve’s back!” I called out in the general direction of the kitchen. Then I turned and looked at Andy, hoping to acquire some nugget of solace. Andy’s face was calm and relaxed. I envied him his calmness. My stomach was doing flip-flops worrying about what was going to happen. Yes, it was silly to worry but I couldn’t help it. I’m just a natural worrywart.
A few moments later Jack walked into the room. He looked at Steve sitting there in the living room chair, still wearing his tuxedo. I thought I saw a glimmer of lust in Jack’s eyes, and I couldn’t fault him for that. Steve, as I have said before, cut a very nice figure in his tuxedo.
“So what do we do now, Steve?” Jack asked in the deathly quiet that descended upon the room.
“We need to talk. We need to settle a few things here and now,” Steve answered in a cold distant voice. Steve waited for Jack’s response.
I felt a shiver run up and down my spine as I feared the worst had come to pass. Steve was going to break up with Jack, and there was nothing Andy or I could do about it.
“You’re right,” Jack replied. “To begin with, I was wrong not to tell you about my possible HIV status.”
“Damn straight!” Steve yelled at Jack. The anger in Steve’s voice was plain, as was the anger on his face. A few moments later that anger faded leaving only a cold stony expression on Steve’ face.
Jack looked at Steve and seeing that he wasn’t going to say anything more, Jack spoke. “I can offer you no excuse, no reason. I thought I could handle this on my own, until the blood test results come back. I was wrong. I was scared, and I’m scared now. I’m scared for myself, and scared that I will lose you. It was wrong of me. It was selfish of me. It was stupid of me. I have not earned the privilege to ask you to forgive me, but I am going to ask you anyway. I love you Steve. I always have, and I always will. Please forgive me. I love you, and more than anything else in the world I want to spend my life with you, that is if you will have me.”
Jack’s little speech was touching. I was moved by it. I squeezed Andy’s hand. A second later Andy’s hand squeezed mine back. I glanced over at Steve. His face remained stony and cold as if Jack’s words had never been spoken.
“Is that all?” Steve asked icily.
Clearly Jack’s words had not moved Steve in any way. I felt sorry for Jack, and yet at the same time a part of me couldn’t help but think that Jack was getting exactly what he deserved. He had been trying to push Steve away, and now in trying to apologize to Steve, Jack had succeeded. Steve had withdrawn from Jack. I didn’t see any way to remedy the situation. Actually that was wrong. I knew of one way to solve this problem. I could use my super hypnosis powers on both of these men and alter their feelings for each other so that they would forgive and forget, and live happily ever after. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was possible. I considered such a course of action for less than a second. Meddling in the lives of others to such an extent goes against the guidelines set down by the Council of Coins. They referred to such alternations to repair a relationship as the “Cinderella Solution”. They were sure to find out if I attempted such a feat without their consent. The repercussions would be severe. I did not know what Andy would have thought of me taking such action. I would have been a fool to think that taking such extreme action would not impact our relationship. Frankly, I wasn’t willing to risk it. So driven by pure and simple self interest, I decided to hold off and not invoke my powers. Call me a gutless, spineless chicken if you like. My only consolation is that if I didn’t have my super hypnosis powers, I’d be in the same situation as I was in now. I’d have to sit here and watch two of my dearest friends work out their problems, and keep my big mouth shut. The sound of Jack’s voice dragged me back from my mental musing about Jack and Steve’s situation.
“What more can I say? What more can I do?” Jack asked Steve. “How can I prove to you the sincerity of my words?”
“You can’t,” Steve said coldly. “You see, my love, that is the core of the problem. How can I ever trust you again? How can I ever believe what you say to me? If you didn’t tell me about your possible HIV status, when you knew the risk it entailed to me, how can I trust you?”
“I loved you enough to keep you away from me, and to not be intimate with you,” Jack said defensively.
“Yes, but you didn’t tell me why. You were not honest with me about something as important as this,“ Steve said with a sad sigh. “It really comes down to basic trust and respect. You don’t have that for me, and after what you’ve done, I don’t believe I have it for you, either.”
I closed my eyes against the sudden pain in my heart. Steve was correct. I didn’t have to be an expert on human physiology or relationships to see where this was headed. Steve and Jack were going to end their relationship. Steve knew it, but Jack was fighting acknowledgment of that certainty every step of the way.
“There has to be something we can do,” Jack pleaded with Steve. “There must be some way to save what we had. I love you too much to just give up like this.”
“What would you suggest? Marriage counseling? A couples counselor? A therapist?” Steve asked sincerely.
“I’m willing to do that if you are,” Jack said with a glimmer of hope on his face.
“What would be the point?” Steve asked sadly. “I don’t think I could ever trust you again, and without trust what type of relationship could we ever have?”
“No relationship, I suppose,” Jack answered reluctantly. “So what do we do now? Is this it for us?”
“I think so,” Steven said mournfully. It was clear that this was hurting him as much as it was Jack, and neither of them could see a solution. Neither could I for that matter. I glanced over at Andy. His face was covered with sadness as well. The room was starting to feel oppressive with the gloom that seemed to emanate from the very walls themselves.
“What the hell am I supposed to do to get you to trust me again, Steve?” Jack cried out in frustration.
“If only I could read you mind Jack, then I’d know the truth,” Steve said his words dripping with ice. “Then maybe we’d have a future together.”
“You ask the impossible,” Jack replied. Jack looked at Steve a few seconds longer and then Jack broke down and started to cry softly, his eyes screwed tightly closed.
Steve didn’t say a word, he just looked at Jack stonily. If Steve had any compassion left for Jack, Steve wasn’t letting it show at all. Steve looked over at me, glanced over at Andy and then Steve closed his eyes and sat there in the living room chair. One lone tear rolled down Steve’s left cheek. He was hurting too.
I felt a sudden tap on my right shoulder. I looked up to see Andy standing next to me. “Come with me,” he whispered at me. Curious I stood up and followed Andy into the kitchen. When we were safely alone he continued speaking with me. “You could help them, couldn’t you Paul?” he asked me.
“What are you talking about?” I replied, not following his reasoning at all.
“Paul, when you told me about your powers, you mentioned that you could change memories and attitudes. Couldn’t you do that here to Steve and to Jack? That would solve their problem wouldn’t it? ” Andy asked me.
“No, I can’t do that,” I answered.
“Can’t, or won’t?” Andy inquired. The look he gave me said that he didn’t believe my answer to his previous question.
“Okay, I could do something like that, but if I did, the Council of Coins would find out about it. The result would be unpleasant for me,” I told him.
“Aren’t Jack and Steve worth it a bit of unpleasantness?” Andy asked.
“Of course they are, but it’s not as simple as you suggest. It would involve changing some basic beliefs and values in Steve’s mind. Forcing Steve to accept trusting Jack again would have psychological repercussions, which I can’t foresee. I don’t know everything about how the human mind works. Do you really want me to take such a risk with Steve?”
“I suppose not,” Andy agreed. “But isn’t there anything you can do?”
“Like what? Some type of mind meld like on Star Trek?” I joked.
“Sure. Why not?” Andy answered.
“Andy, get real. I was joking. Mind melds don’t exist,” I frowned at him.
“Now wait just a minute. If you can alter a person’s memories, then by implication you must also have the ability to read a person’s mind, correct?” Andy challenged me.
“Yes, of course,” I answered. I did not understand where Andy was going in his argument.
“So you can take information from a mind and put information into a mind. If you were connected to two minds at once, why couldn’t you take information from one mind and put it into another mind? Better yet, why couldn’t you be a conduit between the two minds and let them see into each one another’s minds?” Andy asked me his eyes suddenly shining with hope.
“I’ve never even thought of doing something like that,” I answered slowly. “I don’t know if it could even be done. I can’t begin to imagine what the risks would be to Steve and Jack if I tried something like that.” I was stunned with what Andy was proposing. I was scared too.
“You’ve manipulated minds before, Paul,” Andy said. “I remember you told me you had to do that with that cowboy Cody. Remember him?”
“Yes, I remember him. Yes, I did alter his memories. This though is something completely different. I’ve never done anything like this before Andy,” I cautioned him.
“I think you should propose the idea to Jack and Steve. Tell them the risks, and let them decide. If there is even the smallest chance that this could help them to trust one another again, you should do this. You, and I, owe it to them,” Andy said to me as he locked his gaze on my eyes.
I looked at Andy as I gave careful thought to the radical idea that he had proposed. I carefully considered the problem and Andy’s suggested solution from as many different angles as I could. I smiled as I realized that there was another possible solution that no one had considered, and it didn’t involve me having to expose the full extent of my ability to Jack and Steve.
“So you’re going to do it? Good.” Andy said nodding his head at me.
“Actually, no I’m not. The potential danger to Jack and Steve is too great,” I said. Andy looked at me, his handsome features framed in puzzlement. “There is something vaguely familiar about all this. What I am going to do is to scan both of their minds and find out the reason why they want to break up. I suspect that the reasons are not what Jack and Steve have said they are. Now that I think about it, Jack never actually lied to Steve about his HIV status, so Jack never broke his trust with Steve. I think Steve is reacting more from shock and fear about HIV, and is using Jack’s not telling him as an excuse to break up with Jack.”
“Hmmm, could be. Could well be, “Andy said thoughtfully. “Presuming you’re correct, how do you intend to help Jack and Andy to deal with the truth?”
“Come with me and see,” I said with a smile. Andy looked at me, crossed his arms in front of his hunky chest and fixed me with his well worn ‘what the heck are you up to now’ looks. I smiled back at him reassuringly. “Don’t worry dear heart. I’m not going to do anything nasty, naughty or illegal. I am just going to give Jack and Steve an opportunity to really talk and listen to each other.”
“And that’s all?” Andy asked raising one eyebrow questioningly. I will never for the life of me understand how Andy can look so damn sexy and hot just by standing there with his arms crossed in front of his chest, one eyebrow arched, and his face expressing doubt about my intentions. Whatever magic he has that lets him do stuff like this, I hope he never loses it.
“Well, I am going to tell them both what I think about this situation. I think they need to hear from an objective third party,” I admitted somewhat reluctantly.
“In other words you are going to stick your nose in where it doesn’t’ belong,” Andy cautioned me.
“You could put it that way, yes. I prefer to think of it as offering my opinion, whether or not they want to hear it. Hopefully, they will listen. If they don’t listen, well they will be no worse off than they are now. You and I didn’t create this situation with Jack and Steve, but if we can help at all, don’t you think we should? Don’t we owe Jack and Steve at least that much?” I asked Andy.
“Turning my own words against me, eh?” Andy said as the doubt on his face started to fade.
“Yup. Now let’s get out there before Steve or Jack decides to leave,” I urged Andy as I headed back into the living room. I was in luck Steve and Jack were still sitting in the same chairs in the living room.
“Write me up a ticket for hypnotizing a cop, Steve. The fire hydrant is blue, Jack,” I barked out at them. The effect was instantaneous. Steve slumped down into the chair he was sitting in, and Jack did likewise. (Hypnosis triggers, dear reader. Ya gotta love’em!)
“Now Jack and Steve, each of you go back down into your minds and into the special place in your mind where you are safe secure and at peace. When you notice a change in your breathing, when it becomes deep and rhythmic really pleasant, you’ll go down deeper into the wonderful state of hypnosis that you enjoy so much. You find that with each word that I utter and with each breath that you take, you can sense and feel yourself going down deeper and deeper in your mind heading down slowly and gently to your special place. Soon and very soon indeed, when you get there, when you arrive in your special place and you are ready to continue with your hypnotic trance, you say the phrase ‘ready, sir’ which causes you to feel even more wonderful and relaxed.”
As you can see, I wasn’t wasting any time on a long slow induction. As much as I would have enjoyed it, I had to curb my desire to draw out the induction and savor it. As I waited for Jack and Steve to return to their very deep hypnotic states, I looked at the two them sitting there and wondered if I would be able to help them resolve their differences without having to use my powers to adjust their minds. Steve was so sexy in that black tuxedo of his, that it took a stern effort of will for me not to walk over to him and start fondling his beautiful body. Jack looked good too, but he wasn’t nearly as sexy looking as Steve. I’ve always believed that men dressed up in suits and ties look better than men in casual clothes or even men in the nude.
“Ready, sir,” Steve called out a few moments later.
“Ready, sir,” Jack said clearly a few heartbeats after Steve spoke.
I walked over to Jack and touched his forehead with the fingers of my right hand. I scanned Jack’s mind carefully. Mentally I asked him ‘why do you want to break up with Steve?’ The answer I received was not entirely unexpected. I broke the mental link with Jack’s mind and walked over to Steve. I repeated the procedure on Steve’s mind and filed away his answer to the question ‘why do you want to break up with Jack?’ I understood the problem. I still had to come up with an acceptable solution. These were not stupid men. I could not present the information I had obtained from them as ‘lucky guesses’. They would feel that something was wrong. I needed a bit more time to think of a solution..
“Very good, both of you. When I awaken you in a few moments time, you will discover to your delight that you cannot get up out of the chairs that you are sitting in. It will not upset or concern you in any way. It will feel as if someone has put superglue all over the surface of the chairs and your entire body is bound to the chairs. You will not be able to move your arms or your legs. You will be able to talk and breathe normally. When you understand these instructions and are ready for them to take effect so that you can feel even better than you do now, you will respond by saying the word ‘glue’.” I said to them in a clear commanding voice.
“Glue,” Jack said almost immediately, with Steve a half a syllable behind him.
I walked over to where Andy was sitting alone on the sofa. “I learned what the problem is dear heart,” I told him. Andy nodded his head but didn’t say anything. “I need a few more minutes to work out the solution. I’m pretty close.” Andy smiled at me. I smiled back at him. I had the solution, and it was so simple I could have kicked myself for not thinking of it earlier.
“Time to wake up now. Zero. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.” I said as I counted them back out.
Jack sat up in his chair and looked about, spotting me in less than a second. He grunted as he tried to get out of the chair he was sitting in. After a few seconds he gave up and smiled at me sheepishly. Steve took a bit longer to come out of his trance. I suspect he wanted to stay there rather than face the real world and his imminent breakup with Jack. Slowly Steve sat up in his chair and looked about the room. He looked at Jack and then looked at me. Steve also tried to get out of the chair he was sitting. He gave up after a trying for a few seconds, looked at me and then shook his head at me as he chuckled softly.
“Steve, Jack, we have to talk,” I said to them my face carefully schooled to show how serious I was.
“About what?” Steve asked. “I thank you for the brief episode of hypnosis, it was pleasant, but I think the situation has been clarified quite clearly. Jack and I are going our separate ways.”
“Not until I have my say with both of you,” I said.
“It’s none of your business,” Steve grunted at me as his warm and friendly manner cooled noticeably.
“I agree with Steve. It’s not your concern,” Jack said, the warmth leaving his voice just as quickly.
“Yes, it is none of my business,” I admitted. “However Steve invited me over here tonight to help the two of you. I would say that Steve made it my business. Besides, we’ve been friends for a long time. I owe you both a lot as does Andy. You two brought Andy and I together after all. Neither of us could forgive ourselves if we did try to help you, even if you don’t want our help. This is why I glued you to the chairs. You can’t leave nor can you cover your ears when I talk with you. You have no choice but to hear what I say. Whether or not you choose to listen is up to you, but I will say what I know you both need to hear.” My speech concluded, I paused for a few moments to collect my thoughts and let Jack and Steve mull over my words. Neither man said anything. They looked at me, waiting.
“I think there are some interesting facts that neither of you have considered,” I said as I prepared to present my case to them.
“Such as?” Steve asked doubtfully.
“One. Jack never lied about his HIV status. Two. Jack did not acquire his possible HIV status from fucking behind Steve’s back. Three. It is possible for a mixed HIV couple to have sex without transmitting the virus. Four. There are professional services available to assist the two of you if you really want to work this out.” I paused for a moment to compose my thoughts before I continued. “You both seem to be pushing to break up your relationship and I think I have a pretty good idea as to why. I think you are both scared of HIV. Jack’s afraid of giving it to Steve, and Steve’s afraid of getting it from Jack. Neither of you is willing to face your fears or to tell the other about your fears.”
“What makes you such an expert all of a sudden?” Steve asked looking at me suspiciously.
“I’m no expert. While Andy and I were in the kitchen we talked about the two of you and if there was anything we could do to help. As we talked, I remembered something that I read a while ago in a book, called ‘The Joy of Gay Sex’ third edition. There is a lot of good information about HIV in that book. You two are showing the classic reactions of a couple where one partner is HIV positive and has just informed his partner of his status. What you are both feeling is normal and understandable. What you have to do is not give up on each other. You can still love each other mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s not the end for the two of you, not if you don’t want it to be. Please, look down deep in your hearts and tell each other how you really feel. You can’t just give up, not after all the two of you have been through.” The last few words were barely audible. I was having trouble speaking past the lump that had suddenly appear in my throat.
“A book? You read one book and suddenly you have the solution to all the world’s problems?” Steve yelled at me.
He had a point. I did sound rather arrogant. I decided to let that pass and not react to his frustration. “Talk to Jack, not me, Steve. Only a fool has no fear. I’ve never considered either of you to be fools.”
“He’s right, Steve,” Jack called out to Steve, distracting Steve’s attention away from me. “I was, I am scared that if we ever made love I would infect you. That’s why I kept pushing you away. I love you and I don’t want to hurt you, and at the same time I don’t want to lose you. I was weak and stupid and scared. I did some stupid things, maybe for the right reason, but they were still stupid and wrong. I want to work things out with you though. I think we can, if you honestly want to.”
The room was silent as the minutes dragged by. Steve remained quiet. I kept a tight clamp on my lips. I had said all that I could. It was up to Steve and Jack to work it out.
“Remember the time you got shot and I visited you in the hospital?” Jack asked. “It was then that we both honestly admitted how deeply we care about each other. Every day since then has been a blessing to me. I don’t want to give that up. I want to keep you in my life, because you are my life. All I can say is that I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I’m sorry for all the pain I put you through. I deeply regret all the hurt that I caused you,” Jack said his voice overflowing with regret. Jack’s face was painted with deep sorrow, regret and pain. Jack tried to get up and turned and looked at me.
I walked over and stood beside Jack. “The fire hydrant is blue, Jack”. I said to him. He slumped down into his hypnotic trance. “When you wake up Jack, the glue will be gone and your mobility will be restored. Zero. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.”
I walked back to the sofa and resumed my position next to Andy. By the time I was sitting back down, Jack had awakened. Jack stood up and nodded his thanks to me. He turned and walked over to the stereo system that was tucked away in the far corner of the room and searched through the collection of CDs that were stored there. It took him only a few moments to set up the CD player and the stereo.
“For what it’s worth, this is from my heart, Steve”, Jack said as he pressed the play button on the CD player. Jack stood there silently begging for Steve’s forgiveness. Moments later my ears were caressed by the sexy deep voice of John Michael Montgomery singing a song called ‘Long As I Live’. It was an ideal choice on Jack’s part. My eyes welled up with tears, but I blinked them back. I couldn’t fight the lump in my throat though. I let the words sung by that damn deep sexy male voice work their magic on me. I only hoped that they would reach Steve too. (I’m sorry dear reader but I cannot include the words to this song, as it is copyrighted material. You’ll have to look up the words to the song on the internet.)
As the last few notes faded away, I harnessed my emotions and wiped my eyes, determined to regain my composure. I shifted my gaze between Jack and Steve, wondering how all this was going to turn out.
Jack had not moved. He wasn’t ashamed to show how he felt about Steve. Jack simply stood there letting the tears run down his cheeks, waiting for Steve to say something. I looked over at Steve to discover that he too was silently crying. Steve smiled at Jack. Jack smiled back and started to walk over to Steve. It was clear to me that Jack had something in mind, and it wasn’t to have another hot cup of tea with Steve.
“No wait. Stay there,” Steve called out to Jack. “You’re right. I’m afraid of catching HIV from you, Jack. I’m also afraid that I’ll have to come out at work. Have you considered that? You might have to come out at work too, when your coworkers find out you’re HIV positive.”
“They already know,“ Jack said. “I might have done a few things wrong, but I knew I had to tell them right away. I’m not worried about them and what they think. I’m not worried about losing my job. If I have to choose between losing you and losing my job, the choice is an easy one. I can always get another job. I can’t ever get another you.”
“God damn, you’re making this hard!” Steve cried out at Jack. “I don’t want HIV! I do want you! But I can’t have both!”
“Do you love Jack, Steve?” I asked softly as I walked up and stood next to him.
“Of course I do!” Steve answered angrily.
“Then maybe it is time that you showed him just how much you do love him,” I said as I looked down at Steve, keeping my face expressionless. . “He needs you right now. Look beyond your fear and see the man you fell in love with and the man you still love. Write me up a ticket for hypnotizing a cop, Steve,” I said to him. Steve slumped down in his chair. “When you wake up you will be free to move. The glue will be gone. Zero. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.” I walked back to the sofa and sat down next to Andy. There wasn’t much else I could do.
Steve raised his head, blinked his eyes and looked about the room as he got his bearing. He slowly stood up and looked at Jack. “Dear God, I’m scared, Jack. I’m scared of losing you, and I’m scared of getting HIV from you. What the hell do we do now?”
“We don’t give in to fear, Steve,” Jack said quietly, his voice was measured and slow. He was doing his best to control his own river of emotions.. “We learn all we can about HIV and AIDS and then we start making informed careful decisions. I want you there with me on this journey. I need you with me. Please don’t let your fear of the unknown take you away from me. I’m scared too, Steve. God knows I’m terrified clear down to my toes.”
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Steve said doubtfully. “I only know that I have to, because I do love you, God damn it! I’m only sorry that you have to see such weakness in me.” Steve was fighting back the tears that threatened to roll out of his eyes, and he was winning. (It takes a real man to admit his weakness, fears and insecurities. I was never more proud to count Steve as my friend as I was at that moment.)
Steve slowly stood up walked over to the stereo system, and stood next to Jack. Silently Steve pointed as the living room chair where he had been sitting moments ago. Jack followed the unspoken command, shuffled over to the chair and sat down in it. Steve fumbled through the collection of CDs and DVDS that were stored in a dark brown wooden cabinet next to the stereo stand. After several minutes of searching, he found the CD he was after. It took him another half a minute or so to set up the system, and then he turned around and addressed Jack. “I think this says how I feel, Jack,” he replied in a shaky voice.
For the second time that night the deep sexy voice of John Michael Montgomery emerged from the stereo speakers as he sang a song called ‘Home To You’. The words and the music seemed to fill every cubic centimeter of the room. It was like having a wave of warm love wash over you, caress you, and take all your cares away. Of course, I’m a sappy romantic at heart, so maybe I overreacted just a tad. You be the judge. (But damn, how that hunky cowboy can sing! Yes, dear reader, you will have to look up the words to this copyrighted song on the internet.)
I sat there blinking my eyes furiously. I noticed that the entire time that the song had been playing Steve had not moved a muscle. Jack too was rooted where he sat, his eyes blinking nearly as fast as mine. I snuck a quick peek at Andy. He sat there looking over at Steve and Jack, with a look of profound tenderness on his handsome face. I flashed a quick smile at him, and turned my attention back to Steve and Jack.
“Thank you, Steve”, Jack said. He reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes. Jack walked over to Steve and stood there in front of him. “God I’m sorry!” He cried out, as his entire body started shaking. Steve reached out and took hold of Jack’s shoulders. Slowly Steve pulled Jack towards him and directed Jack’s head toward Steve’s right shoulder. Tenderly Steve embraced Jack and held him, while Jack continued to sob, his entire body shaking.
“We’ll work it out. We’ll find a way,” Steve said soothingly, as he held Jack close to him. “You are my love and my life. For now and for always.”
As I sat there witnessing such a raw emotional private moment between two loving men, I wanted to crawl under the living room sofa and hide. I had never felt so out of place and so intrusive in all my life. I was extremely uncomfortable, and felt that if I made a sound or a motion I might snap the fragile bridge that had been built between Steve and Jack. Yet at the same time, I felt blessed to be granted the privilege of seeing two deeply caring loving men express their love for each other. I never knew friendship could be so difficult, and so rewarding.
Jack’s body stopped shaking and his sobbing faded away, after a few more minutes. Steve stepped back from their embrace and addressed Jack. “You don’t have to be brave for me, Jack. You don’t have to handle your problems all by yourself. You have people and friends who care about you. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or any less of a man, if you need to ask someone for help. It does not make you any less of a man in my eyes, if you are scared and need someone to hold you and let you cry. All I ask of you, is that you let me be that someone.”
Jack stood there letting Steve’s words sink in. Jack gazed at Steve with such an intense expression of profound love and caring on his face that it was almost painful for me to look at Jack. For the second time that night, I felt dirty as if I was some nasty Peeping Tom, looking in on a most personal and private event between two people.
“I don’t deserve a man like you in my life, Steve, especially after all that I’ve put you through,” Jack replied with a tiny hint of a smile on his face. “I owe you so much that I can’t begin to repay you. But Lord knows I’m going to try.”
“You can start by having my tuxedo dry cleaned,” Steve said with a warm smile on his face and love in his eyes. “You got my right shoulder a bit damp there, buddy.”
“I can believe that!” Jack declared. “I blubbered like a baby. I don’t know why you put up with me.”
“Cause I get to come home to you,” Steve answered as he smiled at Jack.
Jack beamed at Steve, and for the first time that evening, I saw the light of hope on Jack’s face. Jack rushed back into Steve’s open arms and they embraced each other again. I was too far away to hear what they were muttering to each other, which was probably just as well. One thing was for sure, they were not exchanging chocolate chip cookie recipes.
Andy and I sat there watching Steve and Jack comfort one another. We knew it was best to stay silent and wait. Finally the feeling of dread I had been suffering through all afternoon, slipped off from my shoulders. The cloud of foreboding had lifted and I could feel the sunlight of hope shining down on me. I smiled as I realized that Jack and Steve would work this out amongst themselves.
“We’d better be going now,” Andy called out to Jack and Steve, while Andy nudged me with his shoulder. “You two don’t need us hanging around.”
I turned and looked at Andy as he stood up and smiled at Jack and Steve. I recalled a similar expression uttered a long time ago by Steve. Andy turned and looked down at me. I smiled up at him, wondering if he remembered that incident. He cleared his throat and gestured for me to stand up. I quickly stood up next to him, slightly embarrassed that I had not picked up on Andy’s hint. Andy led the way to the front hall closet. I quickly followed him.
“Okay, but before you go, I want to tell you something,” Jack called out to Andy, as Jack disengaged himself from Steve.
Andy handed me my coat. I slipped it on as Andy retrieved his jacket and donned it. We stood there waiting for Jack and Steve. They arrived moments later.
“Once Steve and I have worked everything out and things are back to normal, I’d like to have the two of you over for dinner some weekend,” Jack informed us. He turned and shyly looked up at Steve and asked, “That’s okay with you too, Steve, isn’t it?”
“Of course it would be okay with me, Jack. Thank you for asking,” Steve assured him as he beamed his approval at Jack. Steve turned to address Andy and me. “It is the least we can do to show you our thanks, after all you’ve done for us.”
“Begging your pardon, Steve”, I said meekly. “I didn’t do anything except stick my nose in where it didn’t belong. This evening could very easily have turned into a disaster. If fact it very nearly did. It was only the profound love and respect that you have for each other that turned things around. If you want to thank someone, thank each other.”
“Maybe, but you have to take some of the credit. You were the catalyst that brought all this to a head. If it had not been for you, well, I don’t want to think of that possibility right now. Jack and I have a lot of things to discuss. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.” Steve replied.
“We will face it together, no matter what”, Jack assured me as he wrapped his arm about Steve’s torso. “If nothing else, I finally understand the saying ‘no man is an island’. One of us will call you in a few weeks to arrange a time for all of us to get together.”
“I look forward to it,” I replied. Andy nudged me softly in my right side. “I mean we look forward to it,” I said as I corrected myself. A wave of heat moved up my face as I blushed with embarrassment, but I managed to keep eye contact with Jack. Suddenly my face was grabbed by two big strong hands and pulled to my right. Seconds later Andy’s soft sexy lips were pressed firmly against mine in a soft deep heart melting kiss. (Okay, so my heart always melts whenever I kiss Andy, and I like to brag about that. So sue me, dear reader.) I let myself go and enjoyed the moment. It ended all too soon.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you make mistakes like that just so that I can correct you,” Andy said with a big grin as he looked down at me.
“Can you blame me?” I asked him, with a small smile.
“I suppose not,” Andy said with a smile. He turned away from me and addressed Jack. “I can’t say that it’s been a pleasant evening, but I am glad that the two of you will try to work things out. If you need either of us, we’re here for you.” With that Andy walked up to Jack and embraced him in a big hug. Moments later Andy did the same for Steve. Hugs all around soon followed.
Andy turned away from all of us and walked over to stand next to the stereo. He searched about amongst the CD collection. A few moments later he found the disk he wanted. “Steve how do I?” he asked after a few moments of trying to figure out how the CD player worked.
“Allow me,” Steve said to Andy as Steve walked over and stood next to Andy.
“That’s the track I want,” Andy said to Steve, a few seconds later.
“Just press play when you want it to start,” Steve said to Andy a few seconds later. Steve walked away from Andy and stood next to Jack.
“Jack’s news has made me realize just how precious life can be,” Andy said quietly as he locked eyes with me. “I don’t take the time to tell you this often enough, Paul, so I’m going to tell you now.” With that Andy pressed the play button on the CD player. For the third time that afternoon, the deep sexy southern voice of John Michael Montgomery filled the room as he sang the song ‘I Love The Way You Love Me’. (As you’ve probably figured out by now, dear reader, I am a true fan of Mister John Michael Montgomery. Yes, another song you’ll have to look up on the internet.)
As the last note of the song faded away Andy walked over to me and took hold of his hands in mine. He held our hands together as he looked down at me, his love for me lighting his face like sunshine. I swallowed once or twice at the lump of emotion that was stuck in my throat.
“I love you, Texas,” he said to me.
“Thank you, dear heart. I love you too,” I replied. I bent forward and kissed him on the lips briefly.
“So now you, and Jack and Steve know how I feel about you, Paul,” Andy said happily.
“Point of information,” I said addressing everyone in the room. “I do not take two hour baths.”
“Maybe not, but you do cry at sappy old movies you’ve seen hundreds of times,” Andy said with a smile.
“Guilty as charged,” I admitted with a slight blush. “Now I suppose we really do have to get going. Steve and Jack have much to talk about and we would just get in the way.”
“Yes, we do have a lot to talk about, and it would be best for you to leave now,” Steve said to me. “You both are always welcome here.” Steve looked over at Jack and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Steve turned back to look at me. “Good bye for now, dear friends.”
“Good bye,” Andy said to Steven and Jack.
“Good bye” I said as I looked at those two strong men, hands clasped tightly together. They were hanging on to each other, trying to draw strength from one another. There wasn’t anything more to say or do. We took our leave of Steve and Jack’s house. Andy drove us home. I was content to sit next to him in the car with my eyes closed, recovering my strength. It had been an exhausting evening, and we still had the night ahead of us. The one bright spot in the evening was that Andy had declared his true feelings for me in front of other people. It wasn’t a big thing, considering that Steve and Jack already knew about my relationship with Andy, but it was positive step. Someday he’d be able to tell his family and friends about me, and I’d be able to do likewise. Not today, but someday. That thought filled me with hope for our future. Little did I know that someday would arrive all too soon, and not at a time or place of our choosing.