Girl, There’s A Better Life For Me And You
Raven
5th of November, 1975 — Raven Rolls a Six
Loki was waiting for her outside the station.
“What de ye want?”
“I just want to talk.”
“Can I stop you?”
“No.”
“In that case, tell me what that was all about. And don’t give me that crap Odin said either.” Raven hadn’t had time to properly assess what happened so she improvised and spoke almost as a stream of consciousness. She wondered what she was talking about.
Loki was silent for a while, considering. ‘There is something else,’ she thought.
“Well,” Loki eventually answered. “There was a tad more going on than was said. Well done for spotting it. That’s impressive.”
“Don’t stop there.” Raven looked around. “We’ll go in there,” she said, pointing to a pub. Raven congratulated herself. She felt she had just rolled a six. She had studied this god extensively and knew one of his weaknesses was alcohol.
They entered and looked around. It was heaving and definitely not conducive to a serious conversation, but Raven ignored that. She pointed out an occupied table at the back.
“We’ll sit there. Go clear it and I’ll get the drinks in. My treat.”
It was three deep at the bar but, somehow, Raven was at the front and caught the waitress’ eye as soon as she got there. Any local would give her right arm for that ability.
“Murphy’s and a Special Brew,” she ordered. The waitress nodded and her eyes glazed over. She turned and left. Raven was amazed as she watched her go to their table, which was now cleared of its previous occupants. Loki was lounging there, smirking at her. The waitress cleared the detritus from the previous four and wiped the table down before she returned to the bar and continued where she left off.
Raven placed his pint down in front of him and sat down herself. She looked around at the overcrowded place and at their own little private nook in the midst of the happy chaos. The volume had been lowered here as well. They could still hear everything that was going on but it was now at a comfortable level.
“Being a god can be useful,” she observed.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
They clinked glasses and took a large pull. Loki put his glass down and looked at it.
“What’s this? Aren’t we both having the same?”
“I got you Special Brew, as you’re a guest. I’ll change it if it’s too strong for you.” She immediately changed the subject from her implied insult and raised her, now, partial pint to look at it. “I’m on the Murphy’s right now.”
He took another pull. “Don’t bother. It’s growing on me.”
“It is an acquired taste. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
He looked at her drink. “Looks like Guinness. Another Irish one? Why not Guinness?”
“This is better. Guinness is only decent in Ireland. I think there are ingredients in Irish Guinness other countries ban.”
Loki raised his eyebrows at this info. “I never knew that.”
She shrugged. “That’s what I’ve been told, anyway. Use your godding powers to confirm it, if you like.”
“Nah, that’d be cheating.”
“And gods don’t cheat?”
Loki laughed and they both took another hearty pull. The barmaid appeared with another pint each. Loki gave Raven one of those looks when she left.
She shrugged. “I don’t have godlike powers but I can bribe.”
Loki loved that and let off a full-blown laugh. They each finished off their first pints and raised their second to each other.
“To good times,” said Loki.
“Good times.”
They drank deep of the well.
“Er, what good times, exactly?”
Loki smiled. “All good times, especially here.”
“Starting from Lindesfarne?” Raven was a tad sarky here.
“You know as well as me we were here hundreds of years before that.”
“Aye, trading and spying.”
Loki sighed and took another pull. Another pint each appeared from the bribed bar waitress. They both finished off their existing pints.
“We were here long before that, anyway,” boasted Loki. “Long before you Anglo-Saxons got here.”
“How long before?” She may as well get as much information as she could.
Loki thought and counted in his head. “It must be eight thousand years now when I first came here.”
“Eight thousand years? What the fuck were you doing here that far back?”
“Er…” Loki was thinking. Raven knew he’d just said too much so she just said the first thing in her mind to keep the subject open.
“It must’ve been about the Storegga slide then. That fits.” Loki’s reaction told her she’d hit on something. He looked away but she was having none of it.
“Come on, tell me all about it. It was eight thousand years ago for god’s sake. None of it matters now.”
“Do you mean for God’s sake or for gods’ sake?”
He was trying to change the subject. “Any interpretation you want. So, what happened?”
Loki sighed. “You’re right. It doesn’t much matter now and you’re not going to say anything, even if you’ll be believed.”
Raven didn’t say anything. She just took a pull when he did before talking.
“You know the story behind it?”
Raven nodded. She knew not to say anything now.
“Well, it’s a little bit wrong.” He saw he had her rapt attention and continued after another pull. “You see, it wasn’t the elves or the faeries that did it.”
Raven immediately jumped to the conclusion. “It was you, wasn’t it?”
“No, not me, it was Thor. I just cleaned up the mess, as usual.” Another look at Raven told him he shouldn’t stop there. He sighed and explained.
“Thor was doing some extermination work and killed three trolls that were terrorising the neighbourhood, but he used too much force and hit them clean out to sea. It was Mjölnir. He’d had it for fifty-odd years and was still playing with it. He’s a slow learner. Anyway, they caused it. Thor didn’t even know what he did. He just came back with another victory to boast about. But Odin knew and he saw it would cause complications between us and the other, er, ones around at that time. So I was sent here to sort it.”
“How’d you do that then?”
“I convinced the elves the faeries did it and I convinced the faeries the elves did it. Both groups were knocked for six when it happened and they found it easy to blame each other. After all, we just don’t do stuff like that.”
“Oh, come on. How’d you convince the faeries? They’re not even from your pantheon.”
“With difficulty, but I managed it.” Loki was still proud of this achievement, probably because he hadn’t told anyone about it for eight thousand years. That sort of secret wants to be told.
“And now, we’re still keeping the peace between them. D’ye know how much effort that takes?”
“Come on. These things happen. What are you going to do about it? Tell the faeries and the elves? You know they wouldn’t believe that now. History becomes what people believe.”
Raven took the huff and simply stared at him, her original purpose forgotten for the moment. Loki wanted to get her mind off this subject.
“You know,” he said, “we offered Valhalla to Mr Harbinger. I’m sure we can make the same offer to you.”
Raven nearly choked on her pint. “You mean I can collect all those ‘oh so brave’ heroes and transport them to the halls and then serve them ale and ‘comforts’ all night long.”
“Not at all…”
“I’m not going to be a glorified bar waitress, thank you very much. There’s no way I’d take any job like that…”
Raven jumped as her next pint was slammed down in front of her. ‘Shite,’ she thought as she watched the barmaid flounce back to the bar. She wiped up the mess as best she could.
Loki laughed and when he stopped, took a large pull. Raven followed suit. There was nothing else she could do except move to the other seat. Loki followed suit to stay opposite her.
”I didn’t mean that and you have the wrong idea about what the Valkyries do.”
Raven wondered if she would stick to her instructions now but she’d just have to wait and see.
“Look, Elizabeth Jennifer…”
Raven didn’t respond this time. Not even in her demeanour. Loki pulled a face.
“You’ve spoilt it. Okay, Raven, just check up on the Valkyries and think about it. Let me know if you change your mind.”
“You’re just shitting me.”
“Oh come on Rave. Look what you did just today, never mind before. You went in and attacked three daemons when you knew they should’ve beaten you. You were just about out of energy at the end, weren’t you? Your mental defences are really good but your mental attack is almost non-existent but you still did it to help him. Right?”
“Well, yeah. I could tell something really bad was happenin’ to him from the outside, I could feel it, and I knew there were three of them, that was easy to sense. I couldn’t just let them do it, could I?”
“So what’s the point if you thought they would beat you?”
“That wasn’t certain. And anyway, Bingo was coming.”
“You were relying on him to help you?”
“Yeah.”
“Bollocks. You knew he was too far away to do anything then. You went in anyway and relied on your fighting abilities.
“Oh come on, they were just daemons. That was obvious.”
“There were three of them, Rave. And you know as well as me that daemons are vicious fighters, even the bad ones. Your tactics made them attack you without thought so you could take the first one out. You were lucky Jo turned, but you earned your luck. That’s straight heroing, Rave. Valhalla material.”
Raven’s cheeks were burning. She desperately wanted to change this subject.
“Why are you sticking around anyway? This place is losing religion.”
“This is a good place for us. We like the people and their ways, despite the Christians.” Loki was beginning to show the signs.
“Why?”
“Well, look at now. Just now. We have new gods to deal with. They could be friends or enemies. Either way, they’ll be fun. I can’t wait. Whadaya think of them?”
Raven shrugged and ran her hand over her hair. The barmaid saw this and nodded. Raven hoped her pints would be watered down from now on as well as his pints having a lot more vodka added. She was willing to spoil the Murphy’s and sacrifice her taste buds for the sake of the job. Anyway, she had her in now, so she took it.
“Wha’aboot ’em? Wha’weretheydoin?’”
Loki shook his head. “Dunno.”
Raven tapped her nose and ensured her enunciation was spot on, especially after her last sentence. “I know that’s the truth but you’re clever. The cleverest of all the gods. Cleverer even than Odin. I know this and you know this. So, whaddyethink’appened?”
Another pint each appeared and they automatically finished off their old ones.
Loki carefully looked around for impossible hidden eavesdroppers before answering. “Ye wanna know what I think?”
Raven nodded slowly.
“I think those Indian gods told us a fib and Odin knows it. He might even be in on it. That’s possible as well.”
“What fib?”
“I think they lied about Vivian. Your mate is not her reincarnation at all.” Loki nodded wisely at this pronouncement.
“He’ll be pleased ’bout that.”
Loki continued nodding.
“So what happened then?”
“I think your Mr Harbinger and his wife were reincarnations of Ram and Sita. That’s what I think. Whaddya think about that?”
“Who the fuck are Ram and Sita?”
“Rave, you gotta up yer learning, girl. They’re famous and they reincarnate their story throughout time. Dunno why though. Seems stupid to me.”
Raven nodded gravely and tried to commit those names to memory. She didn’t think taking notes right now would be appropriate.
“So how d’ye think you lot got mixed up in it?”
Loki had an answer for this one. “Mr Harbinger’s reincarnation got buggered up by the daemons, different pantheons and all that, and Vishnu didn’t want to antagonise them, especially here. They do have power here, despite the ones you met. So he approached us, or rather, Odin. Now we’ve helped and they owe us, big time. It’s as simple as that.”
“Odin would do all that for a favour?”
“Favours are currency around gods, Rave. Ye shud know that. What’s in this pint? It tastes different.”
‘Good. Looks like Sharron was adding more vodka as instructed.’
“Yer just gettin’ drunk. Down it, there’s plenty more.” To prove her point, Raven downed hers and slammed the empty glass onto the table. Raven jumped at the sudden noise as did the people around them. They looked directly at Raven before deciding it was nothing and returned to their evening work. Raven didn’t look back. She realised her pint wasn’t watered down but had something else added, probably vodka. Sharron was a bitch and she’d paid in advance.
Raven had the main thing she wanted and now had to continue so as not to make him think it was all a ruse. Ram and Sita became her silent mantra for the evening. She stared at her glass for a long time before realising the black marks were from her lipstick. So she applied some more. It went on perfectly and she repeated, Ram and Sita, in her mind.
“How canye do that?” slurred Loki. “Wi’out a mirror,” he amplified. He was past taking pulls at his pint now and was into full-on quaffing. Raven followed suit. Her adulterated pints were tasting better and better the more she downed.
“Y’know what ye need, Rave, pet?” Loki said when they eventually staggered out, each supporting the other.
Raven was almost out of it but her subconscious was putting in a full shift. “Need to know how Odin lied to me. S’not fair. Shud be able to rely on that.”
“He didn’t, Rave. I dunno exactly how but he wouldn’t lie like that. He’ll be able to say something that’ll make what he said true.”
“Fuckin’ politicians.”
Loki laughed. “Bu’ that’s not wha’ I meant, Rave, when I asked if y’know what y’need.”
Raven had another need. “Need sleep. Tha’s what I need.” ‘Ram and Sita,’ she still thought. She hoped she wasn’t saying that out loud.
“As well as that.”
“Wha’ then?” They were walking, well, moving, towards, the station taxi rank.
“Ye need to work w’the elves f’r a bit.”
“What? Which elves anyway?”
The light ones, o’course.”
“Me? Go to Alfheime? Why’d I wanna do that? It’d take me years to get there and there’s no busses. Or trains either.”
“F’r wha’ they can teach you, dummy.”
“Wait a minute.” Raven had jerked herself upright as the thought entered her head. “Is this Grimnir’s idea?” She’d really have to take that seriously.
“Naa, ’smine. Just thought o’it. Sgood.” He wagged his finger in her face as he continued, “Ye need to go there an’ work wi’ them.”
She was considering the journey, reputed to be extremely dangerous by the gods, even. A sudden thought entered her head. “Ye offerin’ t’take me on Bifrost?”
Loki wiggled his finger at this one. “Can’t do that, love. Too many people would know. Ye’d have to go on your own. Tha’s the best way.”
Raven ignored that and looked around at the irate people. Irate because her and Loki had just staggered to the front of the queue and she had taken the next taxi without waiting in the cold. The crowd was irate but doing nothing about its irateness.
“Thanks, f’this. Y’re a good friend. Y’know, godding has advantages. Why d’ye let them be so angry?”
Loki giggled as he handed cash to the driver. “’S fun to see.”
“You’ll be alright?” Raven was concerned. A drunken god wandering around wasn’t the best of ideas but she wasn’t in the best of shape to even try and do anything about it.
“Yeah. Do this a’the time.”
“Sixty-nine Letsby Ave,” she told the driver, very slowly. Raven turned to wave goodbye to her new best friend, but he wasn’t there any more. She jerked back as the crowd surged forward to the taxi, but just too late. The words, Ram and Sita were repeated in her head all the way home. It was important to remember them. It must be important ’cause she was trying to remember them.
Raven woke up the next day feeling strange but without a hangover. Her clock said six, near enough, and the street light outside told her it was in the pm. She’d activated the classic hangover cure and slept the day away. ‘Okay,’ she thought, ‘what happened?’
She tried to remember as she rose and performed her rising ablutions as well as resolving, again, to remove her makeup before going to bed. Her toilet informed her she had been there sometime during the night. At least she’d hit the bowl this time. She flushed it and decided to clean it properly later.
Dressed and in her kitchen, she made the traditional cuppa, the best way to start the day. Well, the evening. Taking it into her study, still trying to piece together any stray memory of the previous evening, she saw the paper on the desk. She’d written herself a note when she got in. Obviously, it was something important she had to remember. ‘Clever girl,’ she told herself.
Her lipstick was beside the note. She stared at it before binning it. The note was a tad difficult to read, especially as it was written in lipstick. She wondered why she did that as there were plenty of pens right there on the desk.
She read the note while sipping her tea, well, she tried to read the note. She now knew she’d have to practise writing while drunk, but she could make out the overall sense after a while. It was about Sam and Rita, which was good to know and probably important. Now, who the hell were Sam and Rita? This was something she didn’t want to have to ask the group. They could be sarcastic at times.
She also checked the books she’d left out on the table. Apparently, she was looking at directions to Alfheime. Why would she want to check that out?
In the dice game that is life, had Loki rolled a seven?