Part 3: #One #DesertIsland #Hypnotist #Humiliation #Honesty
* * *Jen’s eyes snapped open. She made a futile grab for her pen, but it was already tumbling towards the sandy ground. For a second she wasn’t quite sure where she was, and worried she might have nodded off while doing some kind of work. But she looked at the neatly completed form in her lap, and realised she’d done everything that needed to be done. It took her a couple of seconds to realise that Eric was still sitting on the bench beside her, but that he’d stopped talking now. He’d talked so long, his voice had faded into the background like the chirping of grasshoppers and the gentle brushing sound of waves on the beach. She tried to remember what he’d been talking about so enthusiastically, she knew she’d found it really fascinating, but whenever she turned her mind to the recent part of their conversation, she couldn’t remember any of the details.
“We’ll have to go soon,” he said, “The boat’s only hired for a couple of hours.”
“What?” she looked up right away, “But we’ve got to get all the way through the…” her voice trailed away. She could look between the half-dozen trees on the island, and see the boat right where they’d dragged it up onto the sandbar.
“The boat’s right there,” she tried again, “There’s no rush, we can’t have been her longer than…” This time, it was a glance down at her phone that left her voice trailing off into silence. She could have sworn they chatted about their different interests for five or ten minutes, and then maybe another twenty while she filled in the form. But more than an hour had passed. “You did it, didn’t you? You hypnotised me?”
“You said I could,” he gave a shrug, “And it’s been so long for me, I didn’t want to turn down a challenge.”
“What did you do?” Suddenly she was looking up at him. “I said my boyfriend tried that before, but it never worked. I don’t think you said what you’d do to me while I was under your spell.”
“I think doing anything to you while you weren’t fully aware would be quite uncouth. Trance is for setting suggestions, maybe for building a little programming in your mind, not for acting out fantasies. And in any case, I would never push you into any activity that you hadn’t agreed to. This was just a first time, to make sure that it worked. And, if you will permit me a little indulgence, an opportunity to make the remainder of our conversation a little fun.”
“There was one small suggestion I left with you. If it bothers you, then say so at any time.”
“That sounds ominous. In a fun way, I suppose. If it’s something I can opt out of, then it can’t be such a big problem. Are you going to tell me, or should I find out the hard way?”
“I think that little chuckle means you’re intrigued to experiment. To find out the limits of your mind, maybe. But I think in this case, it shouldn’t take too long to work out what I’ve been playing with. If you’re willing to try it?”
Jen nodded, and Eric responded by saying a single word. Jen wondered if that was all, until she realised that she wasn’t aware what the word had been. It had come in through her ears, she was sure she’d heard it, but she didn’t actually know what it was. And she was sure that something had changed, though she hadn’t the first clue what it might be.
“What did you do?” she asked.
“Have you got any guesses? Maybe you could try them.”
“Well I can still stand up,” she did so, just to prove it to herself, “So I’m not stuck to the bench. And I don’t seem to have stripped off without realising.” She looked down at herself, double-checking again, and then did a little twirl because it seemed the right thing to do in the circumstances.
“You think I’d abuse the power of hypnosis to get you naked?” Eric raised an eyebrow.
“No, you’re too thoughtful for that. Too respectful, and too imaginative, from what I’ve seen. I know my boyfriend tried it before, so it was still on my mind, but I don’t think you’d do something like that. I was wishing you would, though.”
“Really? When I hardly know you, would you be willing to go that far?”
“I’ve been talking to you for half an hour. Longer if you count the bits I don’t remember. And I’ve fucked guys after less than that, especially in college. And I feel great, you probably deserve an eyeful if that’s what you’d like.”
“You don’t subscribe to traditional values of modesty and sexual inhibition, then? Would you normally be so open in offering to show off your body?”
“I don’t usually do that anymore. It was fun in college, because every time I’m walking back to my flat, I know there might be people staring. My neighbours, or anyone else who sees me. They know what I’ve been up to, and I don’t even know who’s looking at me. What they might be thinking about me, how much their opinion is sinking.”
“You… stopped acting in such a promiscuous manner because you felt ashamed under the gaze of your peers? Do you feel like they helped you to behave better, or do you miss the opportunity that was taken away?”
“No, that’s not it. Like, I did it once or twice because I was curious, I wanted to know what it felt like. From everybody talking, it was like I was the only girl who came to college still a virgin. And it was fun, don’t get me wrong about that. But when I came home in the early hours, after doing god-knows-what with whoever was there, I started to feel embarrassed thinking about all the people who might be watching. And I loved it. Getting some guy to take me against the wall behind the club, or under the bandstand in the park, that was dynamite. That feeling that somebody might be watching turned me on like nothing else, and I loved the feelings of shame. But after a while, it was like people took it for granted. MNy flatmates didn’t ask anymore, because they knew I’d be doing stuff like that. There was nothing they could think of that’s worse than what I’d actually done. And I was putting myself in danger as well, sometimes. I didn’t want that. The thrill kind of went away.”
“I think I can understand that,” Eric nodded. “It’s not that uncommon to get a thrill from certain emotions, even the ones that usually have a negative connotation. Humiliation is a big hot button for a lot of people.”
“I’m a bit disappointed, still. Like, it felt so good. But then it was like I couldn’t be embarrassed, because it all started feeling normal. Nothing I hadn’t done before. Maybe that’s why I was fantasising about all these things when you said you’re a hypnotist. You could make it feel new again, so I’d be as ashamed as I ever was. Or you’d make me do something that’s still new. Like fuck me while I’m unconscious, and I wake upo not remembering who you were or what we did, and I can only guess. I’d probably still be embarrassed. And I know you wouldn’t do that, you’re too nice. There’s no reason to look shocked, but I’ll probably get myself off thinking about it tonight.”
“Even just thinking about…” Jen started to speak, and then her words faded back to silence. After a few minutes thinking, she spoke again: “I’m not embarrassed. I could never bring myself to tell anyone about this stuff, how much I loved to imagine them judging me. It would probably have turned me on more than anything if I could let somebody know, but I could never bring myself to say it. The shame was just too much, and the worries that I’d lose my friends. But I just told you everything, and I don’t feel… Well, I’m hornier than I’ve ever been in my life, but I didn’t think twice about answering your questions. That’s proof your hypnosis works, then?”
“Yes. I said that once I spoke the trigger word, you would feel no inhibitions to stop you answering openly and honestly. You can be completely open with me, because you know I’m not going to judge you for anything you say, or anything you admit to enjoying. You might find yourself embarrassed by what you’ve said after leaving the island, but you won’t worry about it. You’ll know that confiding in me was completely safe.”
Jen stood there and stared for a long few seconds. She was breathing more deeply now, feeling her excitement building. This man would never have taken advantage of her in her sleep, or turned her into a mindless sex-slave. But he’d done things that excited her even more, and there was only one thing she could say to that.
“Please,” she gasped. “Please, while I’ve got the courage to ask. Can you do something to embarrass me somehow? Make me do something, make it so I can’t help it. Not something that’ll get me in trouble, but something I’ll know about. You can touch me if you want, I don’t mind if you do or not. I bet you could please me just as easily without touching. But please, do something to me. Is there time? We could go to my car before we leave the park?”
“If you’re that eager, I’m too much of a gentleman to say no. Would you count down for me, please?”
“Five,” Jen answered automatically, and then remembered what he was referring to. Right before she’d found her own trance state, in the middle of a labyrinth on a desert island in her mind, Eric had counted down the seconds until they arrived. Just saying the numbers was a reminder of how good it had felt, how easy it was to get lost in his words completely.
“Four,” the next word came automatically, before she even realised she was going to say it. Her eyes were closing, and she couldn’t remember if the area around her was really a labyrinthine maze on some tropical island, or an island at the centre of a labyrinthine lake in a local park. She couldn’t help taking the next step, now she was so curious, and…
“Feeling okay?” Eric asked with a little smirk.
“Yeah, why?” Jen answered, and then realised there was a gap in her memories again. She didn’t even remember finishing the countdown. She’d remembered how it felt to explore the jungle in her mind, and in two steps she’d been right back there, lost and helpless with only her guide to give her direction. She trusted him completely, and even though it was less than two hours since they’d met, she felt sure he would do his best to satisfy her strange desires.
“Feeling okay now?” Eric asked again, giving her a few seconds to analyse her own thoughts and decide if she liked what she felt. “I didn’t want to push too hard, but I thought you might be amused.”
“I feel like…” Jen started to speak, but then she didn’t know what to say next. She didn’t know what she was feeling right now, just that she had to do something. It was like the moments late in the evening when she couldn’t stop the thoughts circling in her mind, the thoughts that good girls should never have, and she found herself touching without actually making a decision that it was a good idea. Or like the craving to breathe after a minute of holding her breath, a need that didn’t seem to allow a thought. She’d expected it to feel like she was a puppet, with invisible strings plucking at her hands. That was what Karl had always said she should feel. But this, it wasn’t that something was moving her hands, but that she needed to move them even if she didn’t know why.
Her fingers fumbled with one of the buttons on her shirt, struggling to unfasten it. She was so close now, she couldn’t bear another minute’s delay. She needed to get around her sudden clumsiness, her nerves. She knew that in a minute or two, she might be naked in front of a virtual stranger, and that knowledge exciting her so much that it was hard to catch her breath. It was kind of terrifying, kind of exciting, and she knew there was no question about it, she couldn’t bring herself to stop her hands. There was no force making her, just the need to obey. She didn’t even know what she was going to do; if Eric had told her to strip, or just to take her shirt off. But as long as her hands wanted to move she couldn’t think of stopping them.
A second desire was growing at the same time. Jen wanted to touch herself, right here and now. It didn’t matter that Eric was here, she was sure his presence couldn’t stop her when she was this horny, so close to the edge. It was the same kind of need, but she knew that she had to at least wait until her hands had finished the path he described. Or was that something he’d commanded as well? She had no idea, and that just made it all the more intense.
“Did you make me…” she gasped, rushing to unfasten one more button but clumsy in her haste. “I can’t stop, and I don’t know what’s your words and what’s just… I never thought it would feel like this.”
“In a good way, I hope?”
“Yes! It’s incredible. I can’t help it, and I keep thinking that maybe someone might see through the trees if they were looking in the right direction. I know they can’t, I never even knew there was a bench here, but I still keep thinking it. And the more I think about it, the more it’s turning me on. And even while I’m wrestling these buttons, I’m trying to remember what’s in that shopping bag that I could fuck myself with. I can’t say no. Are you going to take me, or do I have to do it myself? I don’t know what I want more!”