How To Make Your Cum Addictive
So Says Pause88
Chapter 2
Let me tell you about my weird drive to work and erection that wouldn’t bend. Go ahead. Subtitle this section: WHY I HAD TO BUY FRESH PANTS.
Laugh if you have to, but it really freaked me out. Leaking precum, which I hardly felt, over my twenty-minute commute soaked the front of my slacks. You don’t notice this kind of thing right away. You’re that frog who doesn’t know to jump from the warming pot. Thank God, I didn’t leave my car. The company parking lot swarmed with arriving commuters.
It was bad enough modeling my “accident” for the folks at Wal-Mart, though no one pointed and laughed. No mothers telling their young children, “See, it happens to him too.” Maybe it was just too early. I got in, got out with a new pair a slacks, a fresh pack of boxer briefs and a box of condoms.
At work, my boss asked why I was late.
“Got nookie,” I said. “I wasn’t going to miss my one chance this month.”
The whole office laughed, boss included. Although an exaggeration, my bitching about Julia was legendary. No one knew why I was with her, except that she was a cutie. You know, in a Christina Ricci kind of way… only with completely different features.
“What’s the occasion?” our sales rep asked. “Is she trying to get pregnant?”
Kelly, our senior accounts closer, giggled, “No, let me guess. Is it your anniversary?”
“Wouldn’t matter,” my boss said. “Remember last year? She didn’t even put out then.”
Suddenly, Kelly covered her mouth. Her eyes were huge. Follow her gaze. She was fixated on the bulge in my pants! Everyone followed her gaze.
Nervous response: laughter.
“Listen, I took some supplements. But don’t worry. It isn’t going to attack anyone.”
“No venom left after finishing with Julia, right, Thomas?”
“I wish that were true. I’m wearing a condom right now.”
Everyone laughed, then my boss asked, “What’d you take? Some kind of steroid?”
I shook my head. “Something to make Julia addicted.” I spit out that sentence with the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. Everyone immediately wanted to know more, which ended with the married guys copying down my grocery list and me warning them to be conservative with the dose. You could have hung your hat on the bulge in my pants.
Kelly flirted with me all morning, amused by my erection. Certain things she did made it twitch, betraying thoughts usually kept secret. Like every time she bit her nails, sucked the end of her pen or put on lipstick. She noticed my reaction each time, smiled that ‘you want me’ smile and made eye contact until I glanced away self-consciously.
The fifth time, I came in my pants. Thank god for the condom, but she’d seen my face, heard the audible gasp and no doubt understood. My face burned hot.
Blushing only encouraged her. Kelly’s teasing turned merciless. She wanted to see if she could make it happen again, then how many more times she could keep it happening. This was funny to her. During our mid-morning meeting, she licked her lips during my presentation. My mind went blank. I forgot my speech entirely. Everyone else in the room disappeared. I couldn’t stop staring into her eyes. Kelly smirked as everyone else watched me expectantly for the callback figures. She was making me look incompetent to my peers.
I have never cheated on Julia. Turns out, only because no one offered.
The meeting ended with me looking like an idiot. I had no excuse. My inane grin and inability to pull my eyes from Kelly spelled it out for everyone.
“Don’t take those supplements before work again,” my boss said, and not like a buddy watching out for me. He was pissed. He walked out and everyone followed, except Kelly. Not taking her eyes off mine, she closed in for the kill.
“No matter how many times I’ve made you cum today, that big thing’s stayed hard for me like a good boy.” She took it in her hand and kissed me on the mouth. It throbbed painfully as she rubbed it, jerking me off through my slacks. Our souls melted together with that kiss. Maybe I just wanted her really badly.
“I want you so badly,” I whispered, leaving it to her to choose our next step.
“We can’t just do it in the meeting room,” she giggled, but glanced around furtively as if considering it, chewing on her lip and looking so fucking edible—
I came and something popped behind my eye. I went momentarily blind and groaned, cumming just as hard as I’d cum with Julia with that whole ass thing happening all over again. I fell convulsing onto the floor. My lower back hurt like a bitch, a stabbing pain in my kidney. I couldn’t breathe. Breathing hurt too much. What was wrong with me? I thought I would die.
Kelly laughed, not realizing something was wrong. I closed my eyes and breathed through the pain. Finally, the world went right again.
Kelly said, “Tell you what, let’s meet in the bathroom in five minutes…”
“No,” I shook my head. “I can’t. I really need to go home. I need to go home.”
I couldn’t leave early without looking worse to my boss, so compensated by finishing a project he was anxious to have done and wasn’t expecting until tomorrow. Now there’d also be good news when I asked to leave early. Kelly looked disappointed, but agreed to keep her distance for today.
“Okay, but make sure you come tomorrow. I know just which outfit to wear. And be sure to take lots of your supplements.”
I almost laughed because while I should have been scared and never wanting to go near that shit again, I was already thinking maybe I’d just tweak the dose. The initial panic of my kidney pain passed upon my feeling better. Fantasies of Julia and Kelly both helplessly addicted to my semen entertained me.
Kelly left me alone to work on my project, doing my best to ignore the stiffie and tumor-sized cum bubble. My condom needed changing, but not yet. Let me finish this first.
About 11:00, Julia called asking me to come home so we could spend lunch together. We never do this. She sounded enthusiastic and conspiratorial—odd for her. It was my cum, I realized. She wanted more.
I got hurrying on my project and finished fifteen minutes later. My boss said no problem and I swallowed another handful of supplements leaving the parking lot, not such high doses this time.
Julia mustn’t come to her senses. I needed to lock her to her addiction tightly so her craving would become as normal to her as stealing the covers or farting in her sleep while we spooned. This was an investment in our future, even if it might ruin my kidneys and take years off my life. Our relationship would be happier for what I put into her.
I was barely in the front door when she kissed into me. No hello, just lots of tongue. Every girl should speak this language. She pulled away to suck my ear, whispering, “I’ve thought about you all day, lover.”
Julia only ever called me Tommy before.
“I keep thinking about how sweet you’ve been to me,” she said, undoing my belt and unbuttoning my fly.
Sweet? I hadn’t treated her any differently.
“You make me feel so special…” Then suddenly, “Tommy, why are you wearing a condom?”
“I’ve thought about you too, honey. My erection won’t quit and I’m dribbling precum like crazy. I’m wearing different slacks, see? First pair didn’t make the car ride.”
Julia looked positively glowing. She led me to bed and hopped on top of me, riding my cock until I came – about a minute. I screamed. My kidneys had grown teeth and chewed up my bladder. Vomit bubbled in my stomach, filling my lower back with acid spew. With clenched teeth, I hyperventilated through my nostrils.
Julia gave me a minute to catch myself. The pain subsided.
“I’m not done with you yet,” she said. We 69’d and this time, I ignored her clit entirely, licking my cum from her straight away. Our mingled juices intoxicated me. I licked hungrily while she sucked my cock. I came again very quickly, for the second time this way in ten years. This second orgasm didn’t hurt. Maybe nothing came out at all. It was an itty bitty quiver, and when it happened, my dick deflated immediately. Julia wanted more, but nothing we tried revived it. My dick needed rest.
Julia said she understood, so why don’t I just go down on her? I did.
“You want to see something sexy?” she asked. Leaning over to the nightstand, Julia grabbed the condom I’d worn on my way home from work, full of cum. She dipped her fingers into it, then licked them clean. She laughed, “I just can’t seem to get enough.”
She emptied the rest into her pussy, rubbing it in so it dripped down onto my face. I was getting really into it, showing my love for her this way. Increasing my craving for this was sexy. We’d continue strengthening our addiction to each other.
A few hours later, my dick started working again. Alas, Julia had returned to work.
I killed time at the grocery store, buying foods to boost my prostaglandin level.
My dick was behaving more normally since tweaking the dose. Less priaprism, less leakage. My mind kept dwelling on sex though, which led to reading erotica and almost jerking off. I saved my cum for Julia instead. She might want more when she got home.
This is how it happened. She walked in, locked the deadbolt, undressed and found me. She didn’t care I was reading those perverted mind control stories. In fact, she climbed on top of me and told me to read aloud. I obeyed and we fucked for three hours, yet no matter how good it felt, I couldn’t cum. I kept overheating myself until Julia suggested I jerk off while she helped.
“I’ll lick it off your stomach,” she said.
She kissed me, sucked my nipples, sat on my face and talked dirty. Nothing worked and her disappointment was apparent. I hated not satisfying her.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Not as sorry as I am.” I watched her get dressed.
“We can try again later.”
“Whatever.” She sounded insulted.
I cooked dinner and we ate in silence. When we slept that night, it was on opposite sides of the bed facing opposite walls.
Julia aroused me the next morning with oral sex. It felt like riding a roller coaster, pressed into my seat with g-force, that same flutter in my stomach. Yet, after several minutes, I knew I wouldn’t cum this way. Making love to her, my best was barely an orgasm at all. Some semen probably came out, but very little. This happens jerking off too much too. I’ll cum and it’ll be just one drop. This might have been like that. I didn’t see what actually came out.
“Did you cum a lot?” Julia asked, hopefully.
I nodded, then offered to go down on her and make her cum too. I did and she did, but I lifted my face from her pussy feeling very unsatisfied.
It must be the new dose, I decided. My body needed more supplements. At least, the full dose from the first time. In the car, I choked down a handful of pills with lukewarm coffee. At a stop light, I rolled on a condom just in case. It would be bad enough if my boss – not if, when – realized I hadn’t stopped taking the supplements. It was bound to give me another hard on. I didn’t need wet pants too.
Turns out, having a hard on wasn’t the problem I’d anticipated. Vitamin Hut must have been rocking last night. It was like entering the Twilight Zone. Every guy was packing wood. It sparked chuckles whenever we noticed each other, like how it must have been when guys with shaved heads met. I mean, before it was so common they hated each other’s guts.
Hard ons still amused us for the moment. When Mr. Riley emerged from his office with a bulge of his own, though, that iced the cake. The whole office cracked up laughing. Clearly, Kelly would enjoy herself today. I was anxious to see her outfit.
“Have you seen Kelly yet?” I asked Juan, the sales rep who’d thought my testes were out of venom.
“Did someone say my name?” She stood just inside the entrance. Evidently, Kelly took sabotaging my career seriously. Wasn’t this too sexy for work? In Mr. Riley’s current condition, maybe not, though Kelly definitely pushed the envelope. The skirt was white polka dots, black background and dangerously short. It was thin too, almost see-thru. Her blouse almost looked professional, dark green, but low cut. She should button a couple more buttons, maybe. With her high-heels, she stood taller than any man here.
“You’re late,” Mr. Riley said, but as barely a whisper.
“I wanted to get my make-up just right.”
“Well, you did,” he told her. He continued to stare interestedly as if still talking, with attention that swayed unbalanced without words holding him upright. Still talking in his head, perhaps.
He was right about her make-up. Mascara and eye shadow lit her hazel eyes, and her lipstick was glossy and thick. It would smear terribly if she were giving me head.
“Hi, Thomas,” she smiled at me, holding eye contact until my knees nearly buckled. She laughed, “I’m glad to see you too.”
We tried to manage a normal workday after that, except for all the hard ons. What were we thinking? It lasted forty minutes.
Kelly caused all my problems. As our Senior Accounts Closer, she behaved professionally. That was before being the only female at our company meant anything. I think before yesterday, she’d thought of herself as just another cog like the rest of us. My erection had rekindled her femininity and today, she exploited that womanhood for all its glory. We were helpless before her.
For instance, in the elevator, she stood close to me like we were at a rock concert even though there were only three of us. “Do you think I’m wearing too much perfume?” she asked. As she got off, she asked, “Does my ass look okay in this skirt?”
Not to mention the pen nibbling. The fucking pen nibbling was enough to make me cum twice and surely, I wasn’t her only victim. The smell of semen was strong in the office, and breathing oppressive.
Kelly looked for excuses to visit my office. She needed my advice about a client. She wanted a phone number. Could she borrow my stapler?
I could take it no longer.
“Close the door,” I told her. She smiled and with her thick red lipstick, her lips looked sealed together with wax.
When the door closed, Kelly asked if I liked her outfit. What a rhetorical question! I grabbed her and closed the distance between us, kissing her, smearing her lipstick, tasting it. Her lips were the best fucking flavor in South Florida.
My office door doesn’t lock and while we were kissing, the worst possible person opened it. I couldn’t deal with him right now. “Mr. Riley,” I said, “would you mind closing the door? We’ll talk about whatever you want when I’m done.”
I wasn’t thinking. He could fire me and maybe would. Mr. Riley closed the door. Kelly was impressed, but that didn’t matter. I had to have her now, couldn’t think, couldn’t worry and couldn’t care. I demanded her with an urgency like snorkeling underwater too long, like needing air.
I could have broken her, kissing her so hard, massaging her body so roughly, thrusting that redwood in my pants into her abdomen so carelessly.
I am never this masculine, never too horny to think and hardly ever aggressive. Maybe Kelly sensed this unbuttoning my shirt. She kissed my chest and I made myself exert patience; it was obviously leading somewhere. I’ve never understood men who rape women, who can’t control themselves, but I was one of these men now. I would rape her. It would happen beyond my control, if she stopped. Only one thing mattered and it wasn’t consequences.
She stopped at my navel and looked up at me. Her eyes glistened with anticipation, kissing around my navel, tugging at the waist of my slacks. The belt needed unfastening, but she knew that. She teased, but also saw the potential in my eyes. Kelly had unleashed a creature inside me. I would only wait so long. She undid my belt, the button, my zipper.
“Are you sure you want to cheat on Julia with me, Thomas?”
This was obviously a joke. I released my dick from its cotton prison and peeled off the condom, which had plenty of cum already in it. The shiny head seemed to smile.
“Okay,” she said, “let’s see how addictive this stuff really is.”
She licked the drop that hadn’t come off with the condom and smiled tenderly up at me. “Just don’t start gagging me, okay?”
I didn’t answer, but simply stared down at her, willing her with my mind to put the damn thing in her mouth. Kelly kissed the head once, again, then took it between her red lips. She took her time, sucking gently, then kissing it more, putting on a show.
Did Kelly have a boyfriend? I wondered. I would treat her incredibly sweet, I thought, if she were mine. She held the base of my dick and slowly licked her way up the underside of the shaft, scraping her teeth against the bottom of the head, then kissing again, letting her lips make a popping noise as she came up.
“You’re thinking how gorgeous I am.” I nodded.
“I’ve had the biggest crush on you for a year,” she said. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to suck your cock?”
“I love you,” I told her.
Kelly smiled like a spotlight and opened her mouth into a pretty little O. The head of my dick disappeared into it. My hands slid into her hair, wanting to grip her head and thrust wildly down her throat until I came. I didn’t. I wanted to so badly, but didn’t, only watched in awe as Kelly took those lips further down my dick, half-way, then three-quarters, then a slight gag, but no jerk backwards. She caught herself and swallowed, not my cum, not yet. Vomit? The thought disintegrated as it formed. Kelly was a good girl, sweet to keep trying.
I vowed to do something special for her, something to impress her. Incoherence made me generous. Could I afford two car payments?
She came up for air with a self-satisfied grin. “Pretty deep, huh?”
Julia took me deeper, but I kept this to myself. “Very pretty.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.” She took off her blouse, pulled it over her head and shook her hair back into place. “Go ahead and unclasp my bra anytime you want.”
Kelly began pumping my dick gently, not fast enough to make me cum. I’d cum so easily this past two days, it surprised me, but Kelly seemed to know just how fast or slow would keep me bottled up. She closed her eyes and Australian kissed the head of my dick, licking it all over, fast. An Australian kiss—like a French kiss, only down under.
A tiny dribble of precum traveled the whole length of my cock, from my testicles to the tip. I felt its passage. My dick throbbed as it leaked out. Kelly seemed not to notice, only kept licking.
“Suck it,” I begged.
Just then, my desk phone rang. It could be any number of people. Mr. Riley, calling to fire me. A client, returning my call. Julia, wanting cum for lunch.
I unclasped Kelly’s bra. She let go of my cock just long enough to let the straps slide off her arms. God, her breasts were great. I could barely see them from this angle, but what I saw was great.
“Answer it,” she said.
“What?”
“I won’t stop if you answer.”
That wasn’t what worried me. I shook my head, and then Kelly horrified me by reaching for the phone and plucking it from its base. She handed it to me. I reached to return it to its cradle and heard Julia’s voice. “Hello?”
“Answer her,” Kelly said, loud enough for Julia to hear.
“Hi, honey,” I said into the phone. Kelly returned to sucking, a little faster now.
Julia had that conspiratorial tone in her voice. “You should come home for lunch,” she breathed huskily. She sounded so naughty, but far from exciting me, the wantonness increased my nervousness, and made me feel like an asshole. “You’ll be glad you did.”
“Um, I can’t really talk right now.” She must hear it in my voice. I heard it. I sounded so far away, like a man talking to his girlfriend while getting his dick sucked.
“Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s cool.” I was horrible at this, too quiet, very unlike me. I’m typically overly upbeat with Julia. You know, to keep her mood up.
“Who’s with you?” she asked.
“Kelly,” I said. The walls, closing in...
“Hi, Julia,” Kelly said loudly, cheerfully, immediately returning to distracting me. She grinned so diabolically every time she came up for air. Julia must hear the slurping. It wasn’t loud, but I heard it like standing in the front row at a Nine Inch Nails concert.
“Something’s wrong,” Julia pressed on. “Out with it. You can’t keep secrets from me.”
“I might be getting fired.”
“What? Oh my God, Tommy, what happened?”
“Let me call you back later, okay? I’ll call as soon as I know more.”
“Call me back,” she said. “Soon, Tommy.”
I hung up and Kelly thought it was the funniest thing in the world. “You should tell her you dismissed Mr. Riley so we could fuck in your office.” She giggled.
Immediately, I glanced at the phone to make certain it hung up straight. Kelly saw the momentary terror on my face and kissed the head of my dick reassuringly, meeting my eyes with complete empathy, a look I’d forgotten I missed. It had been years since a woman offered the unconditional acceptance Kelly’s expression conveyed. Not since Anna, that first girlfriend who’d broken my heart, and until recently, ruined me for cumming during oral sex.
“I’ll come up with something,” I said, praying Kelly became hopelessly addicted to my cum. She deserved it for answering that fucking phone. I deserved it for how good I’d treat her. Call me pussywhipped, but I like to put girls up on pedestals.
Kelly said, “I do want to see if you really are addictive. I’ll let you fuck me, but we’d have to wear a condom then. We haven’t been tested and I’m not on birth control. Would you mind terribly if I just sucked you off?”
What would Jesus do?
“Just this once,” I told her, seriously, but then laughed, as usual attempting deadpan. I can never manage a straight face.
“First,” Kelly said, “I’ve got to conquer it.”
Is that what she called making me cum in her mouth? Instinct told me to explain I couldn’t cum this way, years of telling new girlfriends this rearing its ugly head.
Yet I could. Anna’s curse was lifted. Now I could cum so easily it was absurd.
Kelly sucked me harmonica style, wetting my dick with her saliva until it dripped down my balls. One meaningful look and suddenly I understood what conquering meant.
There was no lipstick on her lips now, just a washed-out smear resembling Julia’s face after our tryst yesterday morning, where my stubble chaffed the skin around her lips.
Could I ever see this look again without imagining blowjobs?
Maybe I’ll grow a goatee…
Kelly took me into her mouth with closed eyes, concentrating. Relaxing her throat too, I knew. How far before it triggers the gag reflex? I thought of my toothbrush. Not far. I heard Kelly swallow. Vomit, or was swallowing to trick her reflex? She kept so calm, swallowing my big dick, working it down her throat, but cautiously, so slowly. How long could Kelly hold her breath? How about with the panic of something lodged in her esophagus?
Then, she had conquered me, driven her face smack into my pubic hair. She gave my balls a little squeeze to make sure I knew.
Like I could not notice?
“You are incredible.” She wanted to hear it. I wanted to connect deepthroating with her ego, to fuel her doing this often. “You are so fucking incredible.”
“Thank you,” she smiled proudly, showing straight teeth, lots of them.
“I can’t stop looking at you. You’re so beautiful.”
Her expression reminded me of porn stars getting fucked, not so different from a surfer riding a huge wave. “I’m getting more beautiful by the second. Watch close.”
She held eye contact the entire time, doing figure 8’s with her head, my dick in her mouth, rocking out to some song she’d heard coming to work. I almost heard it too.
Her mouth popped again—suction breaking. She breathed deeply, still air-hungry from deepthroating me. “I can make you cum without even touching you,” she said.
“You already have.”
“Remember that,” she told me. “I just have to look at you. It doesn’t matter if we’re alone or in a meeting with the CEO. Your dick answers.”
“My dick answers,” I repeated. I felt hypnotized, just like the lucky people in the dirty stories I read so obsessively.
“Are you imagining how beautiful I’ll look swallowing your cum?”
I nodded. She was rubbing my dick between her breasts.
“You better hurry,” I warned her, “or on the pill or not, I’m fucking you senseless.”
“Julia would love that.” Kelly clearly wanted me thinking how I was betraying Julia. Maybe she thought to associate betraying her with pleasure, to make betrayal fun. This seemed horribly vulgar. I could still hear Julia in my mind, trying on her sexiest voice, wanting to be with me. Why was I cheating with Kelly when I was finally achieving the relationship I’d always wanted with Julia? The guilt would drive me mad, not encourage my philandering. I could never tell Julia, must never be tempted to come clean, no matter how torn up inside I felt. I vowed to treat her like a princess. I’d been waiting to propose, waiting for evidence we could get along better. I’d known I couldn’t put up with mood swings and pessimism forever, but she was happier now. This past two days, she was falling more in love with me. Here was the evidence I needed. I’d make things right by asking her to marry me. Julia would be thrilled. She was always asking where our relationship was headed and reminding me of all her married friends. I’d negate a disgusting feeling inside me by finally doing what I should have done long ago: committing to Julia forever. Besides, as fucked up as cheating was, this wasn’t entirely my fault. It was never in my personality to cheat. I’m pussy-whipped. Everyone says so. The drugs did this. I took them to make things better with Julia, but they turned me into an idiot – a walking cock. God, I hope Mr. Riley doesn’t fire me. I deserve to get fired. I absolutely do, but he’s on the same supplements. Maybe he’ll understand. Aren’t I usually the most dedicated employee he has? Hasn’t he said that before?
“You’re getting distracted,” Kelly snapped, squeezing my cock a little too tightly. “Let every thought in your head slip out.” She said it pronunciating each syllable, slowly, carefully.
Every thought in my head slipped out.
“Stare at how big your dick gets for me. It’s more excited than you’ve ever seen it.”
It was huge.
“I see you like me talking to you,” she said. “Feels good to just listen, letting your mind go completely blank. Listening closely and watching makes whatever distracts you cease to matter. Listening helps you realize how unimportant the rest of the world compares with just listening. Listen to me, Thomas. I know how you feel. You’re a good boy and good boys are faithful. You’re okay, Thomas. You’re still a good boy.”
I’d never heard Kelly talk like this, never heard any woman talk like this. Her voice captivated me. I kept watching her, letting Kelly make my whole world okay. I’d done something I was ashamed of, but listening made that shame shrink until it was invisible to the naked eye. So long as I listened, paid close attention and listened, nothing else had ever happened.
“Anyone in your position would do exactly the same thing. It’s normal what you’re feeling, Thomas. It’s normal to want to feel good. Like this,” she said, and resumed sucking my dick, pumping away with one hand, digging her long blue fingernails into my ass with her other.
She was right, I thought. Anyone would want to feel like this.
I had to keep watching.
“Anything this beautiful must be right. God led you to me for us to create our Heaven together, a Heaven we own, for us alone, a place to disappear from everyone. This feels so good, right? Listening and connecting, right? Right, this is right. I make it right, Thomas. It makes sense listening to me. Doesn’t it make you feel better when you listen? Doesn’t listening make everything right?”
I could stop nodding, but probably only if I died.
“You’re going to cum in my mouth, Thomas. Feel your body getting so close it’s meant to happen?”
“Yes,” I said.
She kept jerking me off. “That’s your favorite word to say to me, Thomas.”
“Yes.”
Kelly returned to sucking my cock, fast now, jerking off the lower half, holding her thumb against a pressure point directly behind my ball sack.
“Yes,” I repeated. “Yes.”
She knew how to bob her head, fast going down, slowly back up, suction. Anything feeling this right must be good.
“YES! YES! YESYESYESYESYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes…”
I kept whispering it. My voice sounded distant. I heard it far away. I felt safe, completely relaxed and secure, in a special place. The sound of someone repeating Yes continued on and on, and that was the most important thing. Yes let me feel peace, peace purer than any I remembered, the peace a baby knows, nothing but being held to a warm bosom, sucking and listening detachedly to the world speaking a language that doesn’t matter.
“Yes, what?” I heard her like sunrise soaking into the nighttime. Her voice felt completely natural in my head.
“Yes, Kelly,” I said, smiling the dopey smile of a man relieved of his reflex to multiply. I’d given it up. The responsibility inherited from my every ancestor satisfied, my reward was temporary contentment. Death could claim a happy fool. I’d served my purpose, so my body thought. What did it know the difference between dining and parenting? “Yes, Kelly,” that far away voice again.
Then the phone rang, ruining everything.
“That has got to be the most annoying person on the planet,” Kelly said. “Answer it and tell her to stop bothering us.”
“Hello?”
It was Julia calling back. “When are you taking lunch?”
“I still might be getting fired. I’ll know very soon, I think.”
Kelly stared into my eyes. “If she calls again, you’re in big trouble. Tell her.” She sounded so sure, it was easy to repeat. I’d be in big trouble if Julia called again. I felt real anxiety she might call, even as another part of me knew Kelly was just helping get her off my back. “Just figure we’ll see each other after work and don’t call until I do.”
“Your boss is such a fucking asshole. What if I have an emergency? I can’t call you? What are you, some little kid? Tommy, I hope you do get fired. Why should you work for someone who disrespects you?”
“If it’s an emergency, call. If you’re in trouble, I’ll be there. Let them fire me. You come first. You know that.”
“I want you to come home for lunch.”
“Say goodbye,” Kelly said and it startled me. I’d forgotten she was here.
“Honey, I have to go, but I’ll call later, okay?”
I needed her to say okay. Until she did, it wouldn’t be okay.
She hung up. No, she didn’t. Kelly did.
“I’ve got to call her back. Julia will be so pissed!”
Kelly’s finger remained where it was, separating me from the dial tone. “I’ve figured you out now,” she said. “I know exactly what you need: a woman who dominates you. I finally understand what you see in Julia. I’ll treat you kindly though, Thomas. I’ve had a crush on you since forever. You’ve got to dump her so we can be together.”
But Kelly’s spell seemed exhausted now. I regretted cheating on Julia more than ever.
When I saw Mr. Riley, he pretended nothing happened. It blew my mind and I vowed to work harder than ever for him. He was interested in talking about the supplements though. “Does it seem to be working? Besides the affects on us guys, I mean.”
“I think so.”
This made his day.
Julia was thrilled when I called and told her to meet me home for lunch.
“I can’t believe you’re giving in to her,” Kelly grumbled. She’d reapplied her lipstick and looked even hotter than this morning. She stepped in close to me. “I understand if you’re still horny. I am too.” She kissed me and from the flavor of her lipstick, my dick throbbed and grew. “I’ll show you something really quick.”
She expected to take me somewhere alone, but I knew what would happen. “I can’t,” I said. “Julia’s expecting me.”
“You’re going to make me show you here?”
No way was Kelly that bold. We were in the hallway, in plain sight of everyone.
“If it’s something you can show me here.”
She lifted the front of her skirt, black with white polka dots, snow at night. Now I could see her panties were also polka dots, but with black snow on a white background. “Cute, huh?” Kelly slid her hand down the front. When she pulled it free again, she dangled her fingers under my nose.
Her pussy smell made me dizzy. Could I call Julia, claim something came up? It was true, in a way. No, she’d have left already. I said I’d be there.
“I’ll come back and we’ll neglect our work for the rest of the afternoon, okay? Please don’t make Julia fight with me. Isn’t today a big enough first step?”
“Shower before you come back,” Kelly said, speaking forcefully to trigger some submissive trait she believed to have detected in my personality. “Say Yes, Kelly.”
“Yes, Kelly,” I said, and did noticeably feel my mood brighten.
She put her finger in my mouth, smiling with approval when I sucked it clean.
The taste of Kelly’s pussy stuck pleasantly to my tongue as I walked to my car. I licked my lips, eager to return to her, but now also looking forward to seeing Julia. I still felt guilty, but dumb male horniness led my thoughts again. My dick was swollen and heavy, tenting in my Dockers. It hadn’t slackened once all day, even after I’d cum in Kelly’s mouth. I drove home thinking how Julia was going to get it, how I was going to give it to her.
My pants were soaked by the time I arrived. I’d forgotten to replace the condom. Oops, but at least home, I could change. Julia’s car was in the driveway when I pulled in. She dove into my arms soon as I opened the front door, naked and warm, kissing my face all over and shoving her tongue forward when she found my mouth.
“I am so horny,” she giggled, reaching to undo my pants. Julia pulled her hand back quickly. “Oh, God, Tommy! Did you pee yourself?”
I shook my head, grinning stupidly. “I’m just eager to see you. It’s precum.”
She squealed, kissing me again. “That is so hot, Tommy! Kind of nasty, but hot…”
She helped me out of my pants, kissing me, taking my dick out, kissing me and rubbing the head up and down her slit. I thrusted frustrated in her hand.
“Do you want to put it in me?” She knew the answer, but wanted to hear it.
My eyes practically rolled back in my head at the thought. “I need to fuck you.”
It slipped in like it was half in already, which it hadn’t been. Julia was just that wet. I pulled her legs up around my waist and pressed her back against the nearest wall. Making out, I sloshed in and out of her soaked pussy. We could hear how wet she was. Maybe the whole neighborhood could.
The sound itself was exciting, the way squeaking bedsprings can be exciting when instead of letting them distract you or make you self-conscious, you try to break your bed. Let those fuckers sing.
A picture several feet from us fell off the wall. Glass broke. I could have let it distract me. Julia could have let it distract her.
Instead, we tried to break every fucking picture in the house.
Always, in the past, Julia had been the strong, silent type—during sex. No matter my maneuvering, at angles or hard and deep, Julia held her voice inside her chest. Her most intense reaction: breathing faster. Was she thriving or in excruciating agony? Sometimes she’d gently caress my back.
Allow me to expound upon better living through chemistry.
My discovery will bankrupt couples’ therapists everywhere. Not long ago, I’d thought Julia’s lack of enthusiasm was her problem. She wouldn’t let go. She was too self-conscious. I never thought it might be me. After all, girlfriends I’d had before loved sex.
Yet it was my deficiency, wasn’t it? If not my style, then my chemicals.
This was becoming clearer every day. Every day I took the supplements. Every day Julia became the girl I’d always wanted her to be.
This afternoon, Julia screamed for me. She told me she loved my big cock. She loved me fucking her. She wanted the neighbors to hear. She screamed so at the top of her lungs.
She let me know when she came. She let me know when she was cumming even louder. It lasted a long time. Did it usually last so long? Is that what breathing faster meant? Julia amazed me cumming so long.
I came longer too, and more intensely. It’s usual for me to make noise during sex, not like Julia this afternoon, but normal moans for a guy. When I came this time, I screamed, and not just because of the squeezing, imploding sensation in both my kidneys.
We laid down on the steps. Julia held my head to her chest, stroking my hair, positively glowing. “I never knew I had that in me.”
“I loved it.”
“I love you.” She looked so deeply into my eyes, I almost confessed to what happened with Kelly at work. Julia kissed me just in time.
“I have to get back, but don’t want to leave you,” she told me when we stopped kissing. My erection still connected us. Moving woke the demon.
Julia moaned. I began sliding in and out of her.
“Do you think you can cum again?”
Certainly, but what I really wanted was to 69. Yet, if I pulled out, she’d come to her senses and leave for work. When you spend a lot of time with someone, you can sometimes read her mind. In Julia’s, her question had one additional word: “quick?”
I came for her, quick, like in about a minute. It didn’t satiate me. Horny as ever, I hungered to go down on her. Julia dressed and rushed out the door.
I showered before returning to work and loaded up on more supplements during my commute.
Kelly was waiting in my office when I returned.
“You’ll never believe what happened while you were gone,” she giggled. “Mr. Riley hit on me. He mentioned you’re on the same supplements. He said should I find myself suddenly addicted, to come find him. Do you believe it?”
Think Bill O’Reilly, but more self-righteous in person. This was Mr. Riley, who made everyone in the office call him Mister Riley, who wore a tie on casual Fridays, who bragged never drinking one sip of alcohol his entire life. He was in his fifties. Did I mention he’s married? To a born-again Christian named Bonnie who made us pray one Christmas and wouldn’t let anyone spike the eggnog. The first and only company Christmas party ever held here.
Kelly must be lying. I was sure she wasn’t.
“I thanked him for his generous offer and escaped before I started laughing. He was so serious and formal the way he said it, like I was being offered a special assignment.”
I could picture him asking her this way, awkward and stiffly. The supplements lowered his inhibitions. My own infidelity seemed less criminal by comparison.
“I guess that’s how he would say it,” I said, and we had a good laugh over this one. Then, Kelly kissed me and we stopped laughing, only kissing.
“Did you shower?”
I nodded.
“I think that stuff might be working on me. I’d like to try it again to find out.”
My dick wanted this too. It reached for her, but couldn’t because my damned zipper.
Easily remedied, and Kelly sucked my cock.
Before I came though, before I could explode all that wonderful cum down her throat strengthening her desire for me as I’d done to Julia, Kelly stopped.
I did not want her to stop.
“Fuck me,” she whispered, looking up at me so sweetly, smiling. “If it really can make me addicted, logically, my pussy’s the route millions of years of evolution rewards most. Fuck me with your hard, sexy cock, Thomas.”
“You’re not on the pill.”
“I’ll make a lunch appointment with my gynecologist tomorrow. The morning after pill means no worries. Hakuna Matata. Seriously, Thomas… You have to fuck me.”
Well, since I had to…
“Say yes,” she demanded, her mouth inches from my dick, teasing me with hot steamy breath.
“Yes, Kelly,” I whispered, hearing my voice far away like before.
We fucked, and when I came, I came a lot and had that terrible pain in my kidneys again, but couldn’t stop thrusting as I erupted all that potent sperm into her. My hips seemed to seizure trying to dispel the searing pain. I groaned to breathe. Tears streamed down my face. Fire lit like a trail of gasoline all the way up through the hole of my dick. I had to get it all out. It hurt too badly to keep it. My hips continued thrusting. Nothing would stop them. Kelly loved it.
“Let me suck your cock,” she said when I was done. Helpless, I couldn’t even speak. Kelly sucked my cock, pulling the last drops out so that it began to feel better.
“69 me,” I pleaded and she glanced up, smiling like she’d caught on. Did she think I might be addicted? Was she hoping for it?
Kelly sucked my dick, and I licked her out. When I came again, it did not hurt, but was only a dribble. I went immediately soft.
Kelly looked smug. “You’re going to need to up your dosage, handsome. Looks like I’ve worn my little Thomas out...”
I smiled wanly, feeling worn out, hearing her voice from that far away place inside myself. “Yes, Kelly,” I whispered. I upped my dosage soon as she left.
I’d spoken flippantly, but Kelly took me at my word when I said we’d neglect work the rest of the afternoon. When she showed up back in my office about an hour later, feeling guilty again, I tried to dissuade her. She was convincing. Probably, because she had so much experience closing deals with our clients. No matter what excuse I gave, Kelly had some way of explaining things so that my excuse was just another reason for us to neglect work.
“You owe me this,” she added, and when I asked for what, countered, “You need more reasons to make a beautiful woman your little sex-addict?”
In the end, Kelly’s arguments worked. She knew what to say, offering quasi-logical rationales for me to indulge my emotional desires. She said what I wanted to hear. Except after, that is: Kelly telling me to dump Julia so we could finally become a couple. It was weird. The more Kelly upset me talking about Julia, the more it compelled me to listen afterwards. Was she upsetting me on purpose so she could make me feel better by listening? I tried considering this, yet whenever she told me to just let all my thoughts slip out of my head, that’s exactly what happened.
It was easier than thinking, easier to keep saying, Yes, Kelly.
She didn’t mention Julia so long as I listened and answered, Yes, Kelly.
Yes, Kelly, and it was only Kelly and I together, alone. Julia hardly even seemed to exist. Yes, Kelly. Yes, Kelly. Yeeeeeees, Kelly…
By the time I left work, I’d cum inside – either her mouth or pussy – five more times. Kelly intended to stop me from leaving. She knew Julia expected me home, yet chased me down in the parking lot wearing more of that sexy lipstick I liked.
“Please, Kelly, I can’t…”
She laughed, “I know, you’ve got to go. Don’t worry. I just want to give it one last kiss goodbye.”
“Yes, Kelly.” I couldn’t resist her.
Pulling my dick free, fully expecting another wonderful blowjob, I decided to save a few minutes taking the turnpike instead of my usual free route home. No need to waste seventy-five cents, however. Kelly only gave it a quick 5-second suck, then a little kiss on the tip. What a let down… “Go home,” she said, and: “Wait till you see the outfit I’m wearing tomorrow…”
That kiss, that tease lingered in my mind the whole commute home. Thinking about Kelly kept my dick hard, kept me thinking about Kelly. No doubt, her intention getting me all bothered. Horniness squirmed with me in my seat. The more I thought about her and what she’d started without finishing, the hornier I became. I was glad for it too. Arousal kept my guilt at bay. Being horny kept me stupid, which was perfect for a commute that provided plenty of thinking time.
Julia’s car was already in the driveway when I pulled in. Smiling, I imagined her sneaking out of work early, eager to get home to me. Well, I had what she wanted. My dick was hard and ready to give it to her.
Inside, lit candles flickered. Rufus Wainright sang on the upstairs stereo. The broken picture was picked up too. Wow, Julia really did sneak out early. The candles were an indication. She planned tonight to be special.
She stood at the top of the stairs. Julia always had the body for lingerie, but could never be convinced to wear any. Tonight was different. She’d definitely left work early. She’d had time to shop. It was a white silky teddy, very short, with white fur over her breasts. She looked like an angel, an angel who wanted to get fucked, but innocent nonetheless. Julia also wore a white collar and white high heels.
“You look fantastic,” I told her. She beamed.
“Come and get me,” she purred. I ran up the stairs.
In no time, we were kissing, undressing and hurrying to join with one another. I loved kissing her, feeling my sexy princess in my arms. She belonged inside my hug. I wanted her there forever.
We kissed, all tongues, as Julia undid my pants and jerked me off, not to make me cum, but to work me up even more. Being with her felt right and kissing her reminded me of something too. The taste of her lipstick turned me on even more, reminding me a little of Kelly.
Lipstick.
Kelly’s lipstick.
Oh, shit.
Julia felt me stiffen, not my dick, but my whole body. My heart began beating so fast I thought I might faint.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing...” I tried to resume kissing. Julia had been right on the telephone earlier when she said I couldn’t keep secrets. Something was obviously wrong.
“Tell me,” she coaxed.
“I’m just really turned on. Climb on top of me, Julia. I need to be inside you.”
She wanted to hear this. Julia smiled beautifully. I felt like shit seeing her so in love with me, knowing what I’d done with Kelly.
“Not so fast, stud. We had to rush earlier. Now I want to take things slow.” Julia licked her lips. She wanted to go down.
I reached for her pussy. A finger or two slipped inside might distract her.
She stepped back, laughing, still hanging onto my dick. “Not yet, Tiger…” She dropped to her knees. I closed my eyes, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Tommy?” she asked. “What’s this on your dick?”
I feigned ignorance. “What do you mean? That? It must be from the condom, or maybe… blood? We did it pretty hard this afternoon…”
“This is lipstick.” Julia’s eyes were glued. “Isn’t it, Tommy?”
“Only if you were wearing lipstick earlier.”
She stood up and looked into my eyes, her stare like broken glass. “Don’t lie to me,” she said. “I always know when you lie.”
I was going to throw up. I tried to explain. “I, uh, um, thought that, well, um, you know, we, uh…” Then I started crying. I couldn’t help it. I felt like such shit and knew what would happen next and didn’t want it to, but had screwed up and now couldn’t do anything.
“YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE,” she screamed, slapping me with both hands. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING DICK. I TRUSTED YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT, LET MY GUARD DOWN, LOVED YOU. TO THINK YOU’D GO BEHIND MY BACK – oh, God, oh, God, I think I’m going to be sick…”
I wanted to help her, but when I tried to hug her – I wanted more than anything to hug her – she slapped me again. “DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME. DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!!”
My instinct was to try again, but she was terrifying. Julia grabbed her purse as I watched helplessly, watched her storm down the stairs, out the door, and listened to her car start, as the girl I loved but had betrayed pulled out of our driveway and sped down the street.
I called Kelly immediately. She knew the magic words to make me feel better.
“Oh, baby,” she whispered. “Thomas, I am so sorry. What a terrible experience you had to go through… You just relax now, okay? Relax and listen for a while. Just relax and listen. Yes, Kelly?”
“Yes, Kelly,” I said, relaxing significantly.
“Good, Thomas. It’d be better if you were with me right now, don’t think? Better with me… holding you, while you… listen. That always feels good, mmn? Yes, Kelly.”
“Yes, Kelly.”
“Make that happen soon, Thomas. I’ll keep you… company, or you’ll stay with me. I’m taking care of you now, Thomas. We’re together. Everything is okay from now on.”
“Yes, Kelly.”
Just then, I heard Julia’s car pull back into the driveway.
“I’ll call you right back,” I said, hanging up.
“Don’t talk to me,” Julia said, opening the door. “I’m just back to get a few things and I don’t want to talk to you. In fact, I prefer you wait in the other room. I don’t want to see you. If you ever loved me even a little bit, you’ll grant this last request and wait in the other room, just for a few minutes. Let me get some things and I’ll be out of your hair so quick your head will spin. You won’t ever have to see me again. It’s the least you can do. I’ll return for the rest in a few days, soon as I figure out where I’m going.”
“Julia, I’m sorry.”
“You are such a fucking piece of shit. You know that, don’t you, Tommy? You don’t even love me enough to wait five fucking minutes in the other room while I get my shit. Can’t you see how seeing you hurts me worse? Do you enjoy causing me pain?”
“Sorry,” I said, and went into the other room.
A few minutes later, the door slammed downstairs. Julia was gone again.
I didn’t call Kelly back immediately. Maybe this was denial, but Julia might have forgotten something. She might come right back. Better to wait and make sure.
I thought about Kelly. Where had she learned to talk like that? It was straight from one of those mind control stories, but Kelly wasn’t a hypnotist. I’d ask her. She was incredible.
Jesus, how could I have forgotten about the lipstick? Why hadn’t I gone to the bathroom before launching up those stairs? I am such a fucking idiot. I’d been so horny, so horny I couldn’t think straight.
I deserved this.
Julia wasn’t coming back.
What was I thinking?
I felt dirty. I needed a good shower, better late than never. After undressing, I threw my clothes in the hamper, on top of the outfit Julia had put on after we met for lunch. Better not to think about that. I showered, soaping myself, scrubbing myself, doing everything I could to make myself clean again.
It was a very long shower.
Eventually, I called Kelly. “Hey,” I said.
“Thomas, I thought I lost you. What happened?”
“Julie came back to get some of her shit. After she left, I took a shower.”
“Do you feel better?” Her voice soothed better than the shower.
“A little, now that I’m talking to you.”
“Oh, Thomas…” I heard her smile.
“Wait. Before you start talking all sweet again, will you tell me something?”
“Anything, Thomas.”
“The way you talk sometimes. It’s like hypnosis. Where did you learn to do it?”
I heard Kelly smile again. “Does it turn you on?”
With no idea what to say, I blurted the truth. “I have this thing for hypnosis. You might say it’s my fetish.”
She laughed, with me, not at me. I could hear that over the phone too. “I know all about it.”
“But how?”
“Do you really want to know?” She didn’t wait. “I snooped on your computer at work one evening. You really ought to clear your browser sometime. Once I discovered your Readers Picks page, I read your favorite stories. Thomas, do you have any idea how often I’ve whispered seductively to you in bed with my vibrating egg buzzing against my clit? Listen, baby,” she breathed, using The Voice, “you’re discovering I am exactly the girl you’ve always wanted. Now get a pen and paper ready. I’ll give you directions.”
“Yes, Kelly,” I answered reflexively. My dick had recovered from its trauma with Julia. It was hard as a steel beam.
She giggled on her end, “You sound so fucking delicious saying that, Thomas.” Then: “Don’t worry. I’m going to give you lots more practice...”