Just Fiona
1
Today was important.
Very Important. They weren’t sure why but it was as if it was something final and there was no going back
As if everything that gone before was a rehearsal, that today would be an ending and with that ending came beginning
One that needed to be embraced fully & totally without question or analysis
Today was Important
There were things to be done & choices t be made though strangely the decisions made today seemed to have made beforehand not that it mattered at all because they seemed so normal and easy to make
Today was Important
There was no going back It had been so easy to accept that once they had realised they were living a lie. Living by rules which weren’t their rules they were the others rules. They had felt constrained & stressed, and it led to unrealistic expectation of both themselves and others but once the decision to follow the path had been taken well nothing mattered just those two words
Before those words were just that words,two random words, now they had new meaning they were the core the very centre of their being. As if it always been there (which deep down they had) and how those two words complimented words such as obedience submission and routine as if they were made for each other. Nothing mattered just those two words that spoken together offered opportunities,freedom and pleasure that until they’d started the journey were just daydreams part of an unachievable secret
The bag was packed with what they weren’t sure. in fact they didn’t remember packing it though obviously they had in the last days as it rested in the corner of their bedroom as waiting for a moment such as today
It was as if the last few days,weeks months and even years had been leading to this point what ever that point was
Whatever it was and that was the thing they didn’t know what it was
Today was Important and they knew it
2
“And deeper”
“Dropping down now”
She knew the routine it was so easy to follow as she let go those feelings into those of comfort & safety Where nothing mattered Just Fiona
As she slipped into that deeply relaxed state she’d been to this place so many times. The only place that truly mattered the last caller of the day that called her every name under the sun when his request for a assistance due to the fact he wasn’t eligible or the fact there were a stack of bills waiting to be paid at home didn’t matter Just FIONA
No beginnings no endings
Sinking sinking into the chair, not waving ,not drowning just Fiona
No right or wrong, Just Fiona
no Opinions ideas or boundaries Just Fiona
No darkness or light Just Fiona
Reality (if it was such thing and who was she to judge) as she knew it faded , as the words spoken became her truth Just Fiona
The becoming of the parts of her body especially those special parts that made her who she was that wetness, below the hardness of here nipples that pure pleasure that she felt as she slipped down Just Fiona
Her true self, suggestible feminine, uninhibited, sexual, sensual submissive all the things she wanted knew Just Fiona
the tingling she loved the tingling as it washed over her taking her to that place Just Fiona
the focus she loved the focus the fact there were no distractions Just Fiona
Nothing but Fiona then, now & forever Just Fiona
why bother fighting she knew had always known there was no going back from wherever she came the only way was Just Fiona
Bliss, Ambrosia Lotus Just Fiona
The deeper the better Just Fiona
The past was done, and could be rewritten The present was now & the future didn’t matter Just Fiona
The struggle was over acceptance of the truth (whatever that was ) so easy now the surrender had been fought for and won Just Fiona
Why had she been so frightened of embracing her true nature nature after all it was who & what she was it had always been there. It was apparent right from the first session she was Just Fiona
She knew that it had all been worth it the guilt the frustration and all those things that went with it
“and what is your name” a voice interrupted the purity of the the space
“Fiona, I am Fiona” he said and she knew it to be the truth, the only truth Just Fiona
3
It had all been what was the word Interesting
At first she hadn’t been sure. It had been difficult to gauge in which direction they would travel if indeed they take that journey
After the initial meeting she saw a glimpse, something from she was still a he, just a flicker the tiniest spark but you can always fan that and let those thoughts feeling grow over time. Although it had been a relative short period of time even by her standards. But picked up on the clues he had laid along with the subtle cues he gave both consciously and subconsciously in & out of trance.
She thought of his embarrassment when he initially contacted her. How he’d squirmed as he told about how he didn’t feel his “True self” which raised a wry smile as he said it. She marvelled how easily he’d agreed in allowing her to access his subconscious. His thoughts feelings ideas beliefs & confusion. There had been a lot of confusion especially those feelings of jealously & envy as his “Girlfriends” reached puberty where breasts budded followed by their blooming and and one by one the entered that secret sisterhood of something he would never experience on understand on a monthly basis.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t loved it was that he didn’t love himself as he was at best she had shown him what he could be free from the boundaries that held him back to be the woman he truly was
She looked across at the body in the chair opposition clam relaxed at peace with herself and the world, in that dreamless sleep of trance where all was possible
Still there was work to be done things that Fiona had only realised and admitted to as she explored those corners of subconscious that others talked about but feared to visit Places where sexuality, desire, morality and boundaries were pushed shaped and twisted by experience standards and
opinion of others
The path was long and the destination not obvious and it was littered with distractions some were obvious some were unexpected but most were inconvenient and delayed the arrival at that final destination which had moved several times during the journey as new things were discovered or revealed. There was no map to speak of and that was made Fiona’s journey so fascinating as she steered her to the inevitable. That moment had come that moment was now. The foundations had been laid replacing the ones that were originally there. Stronger more pronounced firmer . She let them spread in Fiona’s thoughts ideas and behaviour over the length of the journey. She had taken delight as things changed as Fiona adopted ideas beliefs and began to act think as she should naturally openly, This wasn’t a game they weren’t playing a role (well one of them was but to all intents & purposes they hadn’t had the opportunities that the other had not that any real bearing
In fact that was the very reason that she was good no excellent at what she did as she felt it was what was pathway ey said her calling. Yes some of the methods were unorthodox she would concede that but they achieved results. She always found that part of the journey the most interesting once those seeds she sowed began to take root now it was time to water those buds and let them bloom
She savoured this moment as the traveller finally arrived at point where nothing mattered just that sweet surrender of will, creativity and judgement. She noticed that Fiona’s repose had become settled and her breathing had become deeply and more regulated in the way that the sessions of deep conditioning had established. She was in her special place somewhere that only she (and of course her guide) knew of where she was Just Fiona nothing more or less where the magic or whatever passed as magic if it even existed happened
She adjusted her skirt for reasons she didn’t really understand decorum maybe noticing a slight dampness of her briefs
Now it was time for the real work to begin.
“Fiona can you hear me” she spoke clearly and authoritatively
“yes” came the reply in the slow singsong voice she was so used to hearing
“it’s time for you to go deeper”