The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

It was a rough few days for Amanda. That first one, it was all she could do to go to class and not break down in the middle of it, feeling like every eye was on her and every whispered joke and every snicker that went with it was about her. Some of them were. She could tell by the way they looked at her and that just made her want to shrink into herself until she vanished.

She got dinner because she felt even more heartsick on an empty stomach. She forced herself to go to a place she couldn’t quite afford and put it on the credit card her parents gave her for emergencies, knowing her parents never said anything about an occasional treat for herself. Eating to kill your feelings wasn’t the best thing, but people often did it because it worked. She told herself she deserved to treat herself well even if no one here would. Then, alone in her studio apartment with nothing left to do but be with her thoughts, she’d cry again, wondering what was so wrong with her that people she thought were her friends could do that to her.

The next day was much the same. She’d kept her head down in class and forced herself to get through the day. No fancy-ish dinner this time though, settling for a pint of specialty ice cream from a little shop off campus and some binge-watching of television, deciding that she’d embrace her geekdom by going for old sci-fi shows before calling her mother.

She didn’t tell her mom that she’d been an idiot, of course, so, when her mom noticed the heartache in her voice Amanda assured her that it was only general homesickness. Mom felt her pain and assured her that it really would get better. “Get out of your shell a little, honey. Go somewhere that you might never go. Go there, find someone that seems nice and say hi. You might get lucky and meet some friends-to-be that are also sitting in the other corners of the place hiding out.”

“Try for me, honey. You can do it. The friends you make will be so lucky to have you. I know because I’ve known you my whole life and I’ve been so lucky that I got to.”

It was all she could do to end the call on that note and not start crying again.

Day three was better and not only because she tried to tell herself it was. The sun was out once again and she felt drained of a lot of the melancholy that had darkened her universe. She felt cried out. And with that draining of emotion came a sense of clarity. She thought back on her time with those girls. She was kind to them. She was nice. Mostly all she wanted was friends, but, trying to be honest with herself, she admitted that she wanted friends like those. Being in their orbit alone would make her popular. She might get to at least see more of the fun side of college life. Maybe they could teach her how to fit in better. So, yes, she wanted things from them, but, really, only the things friends wanted from each other and did for each other.

With that clarity came a new perspective. She heard every little quip and dig that the three dropped at her expense in a new light. They laughed and said they were just kidding and then either offered her a little kindness to smooth it over or gaslight her to the point where she was laughing it off or wondering what it was she was too stupid to understand about people that didn’t grow up in small towns and open spaces.

What still cut was Constance. God, she was beautiful. When she smiled at her, Amanda sighed. The first time in a friendly moment that Constance pulled her into a hug, her pussy dampened of its own accord. And, in those moments where it felt like they were friends, Amanda dreamed of more. You did some self-gaslighting, too, Amanda. She could tell herself that and it was true, but even now the heart wanted what the heart wanted.

Fuck them. Fuck all of them, she told herself forcefully. I don’t need them. Those assholes don’t know what they’re missing. You don’t need fake people around you like that. You don’t want Constance. You don’t want some rich bitch like that.

It helped so much that she hadn’t seen any of them in the last few days. They probably moved on to their next sucker, she thought. They did and now she could too. She worried for a moment about who this other person might be, but, for right now anyway, she couldn’t help this other person if there was one. She was only finally starting to pull herself together, for God’s sake.

There was a knock at the door that pulled her from propping herself up. She hit the button on the controller of the used game console she was using to stream with and tossed it on the couch as she headed to the door.

Opening it, her eyes widened and a thousand butterflies did the best they could to flutter their way out of her stomach. All the dread was back. All the sadness was back as if it had never left. There she was in a navy skirt, heels and a thin white blouse that probably cost more combined than everything in her closet. As much as her heart ached, her pussy still wanted what it wanted, as she was unable not to notice those shapely legs and that those breasts were untamed by a bra.

Stop it. “What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

Amanda was proud of herself for sounding so defensive. “Why?”

Constance looked up and down the hall, visibly uncomfortable, as though she wanted desperately to bolt, but couldn’t make herself do it.

Amanda leaned her head out the door and looked both ways, seeing no one, before swallowing hard to push down the lump of sadness that was forming inside along with the anger. “Afraid that someone will see you come here?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. “Partly. But I absolutely have to talk to you. It’s very important to us both.”

“No.”

Amanda tried to close the door, but Constance propped it open with surprising strength, her voice carrying a hint of desperation. “You don’t understand. If you want me to leave after we’ve talked no one’s going to be happier to leave than I will be, but I can’t leave without talking to you first, so let’s get this over with now so I don’t have to follow you around wherever you go until you finally hear me out. Please, let’s just get this over with so I can get on with my life.”

It didn’t sound like all that bad an idea. She would say her piece and they could both move on. “Fine.” She stepped away from the door and Constance hurried in, closing it behind her.

“I’d offer you something, but you’re not going to be here that long, so just tell me what this is about.” Amanda didn’t want to look at her. She didn’t even want to listen to her, but she could at least be the better person and hear her out. It was also on her mind that if she didn’t look at her, Amanda’s pussy couldn’t start trying to talk her heart into things and her mind out of them.

She was so focused on that that it took her time to realize that Constance hadn’t even started talking about what was go damn important yet. She’s going to make me look at her. Fuck. She spun around as she spoke, “What’s so impor…?”

She stopped when she saw Constance just standing there. No. Not just standing there like she was waiting for something, but standing there frozen, eyes staring towards the wall, but at nothing, her arm extended outward with a piece of paper nestled between thumb and forefinger.

After trying to process the scene with zero success, she spoke up. “What the hell are you doing? If this is some bullshit joke, it’s not even only not funny, It’s not funny and stupid, even if I’m not the punchline somehow.”

The statue that was Constance now continued to stare at nothing, and still not moving.

Amanda approached her cautiously, still not sure this wasn’t some sort of gag. “Constance? Are you okay?”

She snapped her fingers before Constance’s eyes. “Connie?” She hated ‘Connie’ with a seething passion. The look she got when Amanda had once casually asked if people called her that was enough to make her wilt even before the sharp, “No. No one calls me that.” That she didn’t respond to ‘Connie’ was enough to make her wonder if she needed to call for help.

She brushed against the extended arm, being reminded that it was still out there at all. Amanda took the paper gingerly and unfolded it to read six words in rather lovely cursive:

Pencil

Banana

Esoteric

Skate

Pixie

Program

Constance’s arm dropped and she began to speak. Amanda was already plenty confused trying to sort out the situation, but there was no help to be found. Indeed, things were that much worse now with Constance’s voice being her voice, yet not. The cadences were completely off, as though she were trying to imitate someone else’s voice without trying to change the tone of their own. The peaks and valleys weren’t hers.

And the confusion sundae now had jimmies of crazy sprinkling down upon it in the form of the fact that the words that voice not quite hers were speaking was barely believable.

“Hi, it’s Kaley. You remember me, right? I’m the girl you poured your heart out to a few days ago. I really hope you’re doing better, but, if you’re not, I think this might help. I’d be there myself to help explain things, but I have a lot of plates to keep spinning. Science, as a mistress, is a merciless bitch, even though I love her.”

“Anyway, Constance and I had a long conversation and I changed her mind about a lot of things, mainly by changing her mind. It’s terribly complex and I’d love to tell you all about it, but it’d bore you, I’m sure. All you’d really care about is the result anyway, so here is the result. As soon as this message stops playing, there she stays. She won’t be able to lie to you and she’ll be able to follow basic instructions whether she wants to or not.”

“Beyond that, I give her to you to do with anything you please. If you don’t want to see the bitch’s face again, I can totally understand that. If you say the words, ‘I don’t want you. Go back to your life.’ she will, though I suspect she’s going to be a little nicer to everyone around her.” The tone changed as though she was caught being naughty, “Because I strongly implied that I might snatch her up if she were too much of a cunt; sort of like being on my naughty list.”

“If you do want her for anything, that eventuality brings us to the combination lock you’ve probably read already. Read those words and you unlock her mind for programming. No one else’s voice will do the trick, so don’t worry about someone doing it by accident. Once she’s wide open, knock yourself out. You can make her do anything, say anything, think anything, or be anything, from a serving wench in an old English pub to an international spy.”

The tone turned slightly more serious. “I do want to say though that you should sort out what you want to do with her before you initiate the programming sequence because what you pick will stick as who she is. You can open her back up to smooth out little things like change her name or something or insert a memory you think up, but you can’t make her one thing, wipe that out, then try something else. Do that and she’ll eventually have a psychotic break and that will be a pain in the ass for you and everyone involved as her brain tries to reconcile being six people at once. That I could probably fix, but you couldn’t afford it. Standing before you is the limit of my generosity in your case. When you’re finished telling her how you want her, just say, ‘Integrate.’ and wake her up.”

“Well, that’s about it, Amanda. Keep her or let her go. Make her what you want or send her away. As the old knight said, ‘Choose wisely.’ Bye.”

And, with that, the voice not quite hers fell silent. A moment beyond that and the blank stare came to an end as well. Constance stood perfectly still, as though she continued to be locked in place by some unseen force, but someone was home behind the eyes now.

“Connie?”

She sighed, but there was already a hint of humility that wasn’t there a few days before because the icy glare was absent. “That’s not my name. I may have to stand here and take this until you let me go, but that’s not my name.”

“My name isn’t Mandy either, but it didn’t stop you, did it?”

She closed her eyes and took a long, cleansing breath, keenly aware of her position. “You’re right, Amanda, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I apologize.”

“What’s going on?”

Constance tried very hard, and almost succeeded in not looking at her like she was an idiot. “The message was clear enough wasn’t it? That nutty friend of yours fucked with my head and now I’m here.”

Amanda dismissed it, “She’s not my friend. Anyway, you heard that?”

“I heard it. It was like a voicemail jammed into my brain. I couldn’t stop myself from giving it to you, just like I had to find you to give it to you, just like I can’t leave until you let me go. I’m stuck in my own body until this plays out and I don’t mind telling you it sucks.”

Amanda spread her hands outward as though her head was exploding. “This is totally insane shit. Do you really think I’m dumb enough to believe it?”

“You were dumb enough to believe that we kinda, sorta, maybe liked you.” She immediately regretted saying it, not for the freshly wounded look on Amanda’s face, but that it didn’t help her, wouldn’t help her, and she knew it wouldn’t even as the words left her lips, but she couldn’t make them stop.

Moving beyond the slap to her ego. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Everything.”

“What happened then?”

Constance told the whole tale, from meeting Kayley at the party to her time in the trailer, to her time in a windowless room somewhere else where they prodded and scanned her to make sure the programming was exactly right. “Kayley said she had to hook me up to other machines to check her work, like I’m some fucking school project. But, whatever she did, it worked. I had to come here. I had to tell you. Now I have to wait.”

“What about Brandi and Ginnifer?”

Constance’s voice took on a more frightened, desperate edge. “Brandi’s gone. She’s literally gone. She dropped out of school two days ago and practically skipped off campus without a care in the world, giggling about how the clouds were gray and mean and looked like dirty cotton.”

“Ginnifer? I barely recognize her. She doesn’t care about anything she used to. She’s all sickly sweet and into social clubs and tutoring kids who need it and all she talks about is this rich old lady that she’s totally in love with. She mocked Constance in sing-song “Jackie thinks it’s very important that I finish my education. Jackie is all about using her fortune to make the world better and isn’t that exciting? I love Jackie so much.”

“Never mind that she’s never mentioned this woman before and I’m sure she never even knew before Jackie took some of her money not destined to save humanity to have Kayley jam needles into her head.”

“Did you talk to her about it? Did you tell her what happened to you?”

“Aren’t you listening? Even if I told her she either wouldn’t believe me or wouldn’t care. Besides, like I know I had to come see you, I already know I can’t talk to anyone else about it, and I wouldn’t even if I could.”

It made no sense in the moment, “Why not? Maybe a doctor…”

She snorted, “Please, Amanda, for God’s sake, what do you think is supposed to happen? I go to urgent care and tell them I’ve been mindfucked, some second-year resident who’s dealing Fentanyl patches on the side gives me an MRI, nods his head, gives me some Lithium and it’s all better?”

The saddest part is that my life is in your hands. It’s bad enough that I have to worry until I die that that psycho bitch is going to black bag me some night, I have to know that my future rests in the hands of a girl who made it all the way to college without knowing how to dress herself.”

Amanda’s jaw quivered. “I guess you can’t lie to me, after all, huh? What would you be doing if you could?”

“No, I can’t. And I’d be kissing your ass until both cheeks were just smeared lipstick so I could get out of here.”

“Why do you think she didn’t let you lie?”

“Because she knew if I could play you I would, and you’re stupid enough to fall for it. If you let me go because you let me go, then that was your call, not because I suckered you. If she changed me around before you got to me she thinks you still get suckered and don’t get to move on. That, and I think she just gets off on giving you my leash just to see what you do.”

Anger swelled and the sound of it filled the small room as memories paraded past her mind’s eye. “What makes you think, after all the shit you’ve done to me, that I would believe a fucking thing you said.”

Constance learned almost from the moment she could talk how to cut to the quick. It kept her on top. It was one of the things that made her better than other people. She looked through Amanda. “Because you’re needy. You need friends, need love, need contacts, fashion sense, a decent place to live, and on and on. You’re a puppy and all anyone has to do is pet the puppy and tell it nice things and all is right with the world for the sweet little ball of fluff.”

Silence, then a whisper. “Did you ever really like me?”

“Even if you don’t like dogs, you like puppies or you’re a seriously broken toy. I liked playing with you. I liked things about you, but mainly I liked watching you take shit and come back for more. You amused me.”

“I’m not a dog, you bitch. Stop talking about me like a dog.”

She obeyed. “There are users and used. You are who you are and I am who I am.”

Amanda snarked, “Until now, huh?”

“It’s the same. You didn’t do anything. I’m here because a better user sent me to your door.”

Amanda began to pace. She could talk to Constance for another hour. She could keep her standing there all day, but the questions she was faced with were still going to be there until she answered them, but she still needed help to figure out what those answers were.

“Okay.” she said to herself aloud before she stood almost nose-to-nose with Constance. “Kiss me.”

The other looked like she was set to a distasteful task that she wanted to get over with as quickly and pecked her lips to Amanda’s, pulling away as though she feared the girl’s head would explode all over her.

Amanda’s expression wasn’t much more enthusiastic. “Wow. That was hot.”

She took the small victory. “I did what you asked me to do, and that’s all I had to do.”

“Okay, you’re right. That was on me, so let’s try this again.” She then gave voice to a daydream that she’d had a million times. “Kiss me like you love me and look like you do while you’re doing it. Kiss me like you need me like you need air to breathe and you haven’t seen me in a year.”

Even the first seconds were better than her daydream as she watched Constance’s features soften in a way she’d never seen before and, over the past days, had come to believe that was impossible for her. Her face was a mask of contentment. Only the way her fingers meandered their way through her hair as though she were slowly reacquainting herself with the texture betrayed excitement. There was a tentativeness to it and her fingers trembled while her eyes watched the hair flow between her fingers before focusing on Amanda’s eyes before pulling her in for a kiss.

Constance pulled her in slowly. Or maybe it was that, for Amanda, time slowed to a crawl. Even this she didn’t want to see end. Then their lips met, Amanda’s parting first, allowing the intruder to explore, savoring the taste and feel before they began to mingle. They swirled together, Amanda feeling Constance’s more rapid exhalations on her cheek. They further suggested excitement and Amanda melted. She knew exactly the feeling filmmakers were trying to convey in those old black and white films when the woman went limp before bending knee and putting one foot into the air. She was hot, wet mush on the inside; a wet, roiling, all-consuming mush.

When she gained some piece of control over her own body, her hands started at the other’s shoulders, feeling the fine linen of the blouse and the warmth beneath before clasping hands that clasped back. When forever passed and the kiss finally broke, Amanda didn’t even immediately register that she had whimpered like the desperate, tiny animal until she saw victorious contempt in the other’s eyes and the pitying smile reminded her. “And puppy needs.”

Amanda yanked her hands away and took one large step back, flushed with embarrassment at how easily she’d surrendered and how much Constance was enjoying pointing it out. “Do you even like girls?”

“Size queen all the way, Mandy. I’ve kissed girls for free shots, but I leave the full lesbodyke experience to girls like you. It’s fucking disgusting. I don’t know how you can stand yourself like that.”

“You should try it sometime,” she spat. She just stared at Constance, and, no, she couldn’t stand herself right now because Constance was cold and cruel, sometimes for its own sake. And, yes, Amanda was weak. Because she knew it and she wanted her anyway. Constance was beautiful and she wanted her just for that. “What do you want me to do with you?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to let me go.”

“So you can go back to being a bitch?”

“So I can go back to being me, more or less, and go back to my life, more or less, and hope that being nicer to puppies is enough to keep me out of the back of a truck. I think all she wanted to do was prove a point, and, fuck it if she didn’t do that.”

“Okay, what would you do if you were me?”

She laughed. “Are you kidding? I’d have myself a great little slave for the rest of my life. And once I got her some clothes, contacts, and a hairstylist, she might be presentable.”

“And what do you think I’m going to do with you?”

There was no doubt in her voice at all. “You’re going to let me go.”

Amanda came closer to her again, afraid of her in the sense that she was afraid of the power Constance had over her and that it was power she gave. Even if she knew that much was true, she didn’t like how certain Constance seemed to be. “How do you know?”

“Because that’s just not you. Needy people are weak people. You need what you need, but you look for everybody else to give it to you. Then, if you don’t get it, everyone else is just mean. Needy people are too weak to take what they want.”

“And how does a sweet girl like you live with herself for not letting me go? How do you look at me and know what you did and not feel so awful you can’t stand it?”

She wasn’t wrong. None of it was wrong. Amanda was always the sweet girl. To this day her mother would occasionally pinch her cheeks and praise her when she said or did something Mom found particularly adorable. She wouldn’t be pinching her cheeks if she knew what her daughter was thinking now.

Small town life was different. Everybody knew everybody. Your best friend’s mom babysat you and all your friends almost from the day you were born. If anybody bullied you too hard, your mom called her mom and it usually ended pretty quickly. The old guy that ran the convenience store called you by name, chatted with you, and asked about your siblings. Everyplace was kind of like home. When she was in the middle of all that, it felt cloying and she’d chafed for freedom. Once she had it, she found that she longed for just a little of that acceptance and security again.

Because there was none of that here. It seemed like everybody was out for themselves and they were all so separated from one another. She felt like she was adrift almost from the day her parents drove off after helping her move in. She didn’t want to go home, as a fair number of her friends couldn’t wait to get out into the big, wide world and went at about the same time. She worked hard to get here and if Amanda came home, it would be admitting defeat.

She would be announcing that she wasn’t strong enough to stand on her own. She would be proving that Constance was right. And maybe, just maybe, in this moment, she found the courage to not be that perfect small town girl and she looked her in the eye with determination that felt good. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just a needy nobody. Maybe I don’t have the strength to go get what I want and have to wait for somebody to give it to me.”

“Well, somebody up and sent what I want to my door.”

The dark side of her that she almost never entertained was satisfied with the look on the other’s face. She was so smart. She knew how the world worked better than anybody, but it was beginning to dawn on her that perhaps she’d miscalculated.

“Maybe we can meet in the middle. Maybe I can make you nicer and maybe you can help me be stronger without being a bitch like you.” She made a harsh admission aloud. “Maybe I am just a dumb small town farm girl who can’t stand on her own, but I think I just might be fine if I have someone to stand with.”

“I actually know what to do now,” she announced feeling more certain of herself than she had since she left home, “and I know how to do it. Thanks, Constance. Listen for the words your mind knows.”

“Pencil.”

Constance looked slightly bewildered at the nonsense sound. Amanda didn’t tell her she couldn’t speak, so she spoke. “What?”

“Banana.”

The realization dawned on her and her eyes widened in panic. “You don’t want to do this, Man...Amanda.”

“Esoteric.”

“We can be friends. We can be actual friends. I was going to lighten up anyway, right? You can help me there.”

“I will. I promise. Skate.”

“Not like this. C’mon, Amanda.” She felt as helpless as she did in the truck. She despised it and how frightened she was by it. It dawned on her that maybe this is what Amanda and needy puppies like her felt all the time. The world was big and bad and they were small and all they wanted was to feel safe. She wanted to feel safe again. Christ, she thought, what I wouldn’t give to feel safe in my own fucking mind again.

“Pixie.”

“You’re better than me, all right?” she admitted in a final plea. “You’re nice and people like nice. But this is what I would do. If you do this you’re not better than me, you’re just me. You’re as big a user as me!”

“In order for us to meet in the middle, I have to take a step towards you,” she reconciled. “I guess this is it. Maybe neither of us will be sorry after a while.” She looked at that beautiful body and there was still want in her belly. The thought of what could be was like gasoline on that fire. “But I have to do it; maybe for me more than you.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Program.”

The only thing Amanda heard after that was the sound of the blood rushing in her ears. Part of her wanted to open her eyes and wake up in her bed in the dark after having one seriously crazy dream. When she opened her eyes to see Constance standing there, breathing slowly and deeply, she knew it was no dream. The reality was that this was happening even if it was totally unbelievable. She knew it was real because she felt shame, not enough shame to stop herself, but it was there all the same, gnawing at her. There was also anticipation as though she would burst out of her own skin.

Amanda took tentative steps towards her until they were face to face again. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes.” The voice was flat, as though she were getting a response to something she asked her phone.

“Are you,” she shivered and she could feel her thick nipples pressing against her bra, “ready to be programmed?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounded distant.

Kayley’s words came back to her so she stood there. She stood almost as still and as quiet as Constance carefully contemplating what she wanted to do and how she wanted it to be between them. That she and Constance would be together was a foregone conclusion so she decided to start there, though she didn’t want to make her into something no one recognized because she liked and admired her strength. She treated people not her like shit and that wasn’t good, but she took no shit and didn’t care who that put off. She didn’t let people get in her way and stomp on her feelings and that was something Amanda knew she didn’t have in her.

“Be who you were before knowing that you love me. You love me with all your heart. There’s never been anyone you love like you love me. You need me. You can’t help yourself and you don’t want to. You know we were meant to be. We’re a team. We help each other be better. You know you were a stone cold bitch before we met and you want to be less that. You’re leaning to kinder and gentler because you love me. Because you love me you want me to be a stronger person. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“You love it when I call you Connie. I’m the only one that gets to call you Connie. It makes you happy. It makes you wet because it’s part of our intimacy. The two of us are a family and you want us to be a family and build our lives together. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“In...”

She stopped herself. Something inside her wouldn’t quite let her seal things as it stood. She circled Constance as she tried to figure out what was holding her back. She kept her thoughts to herself for fear of making a mistake with her that couldn’t be undone. Why? She’s not nice. She was never nice. If you do this you’re only helping her and anyone that might be in her path for the rest of her life. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel ashamed. She deserves it.

And that, she realized, was the problem.

She was soft. It might be months or years down the road, but, as the days turned into weeks and months and years of the two of them as a happy couple she’d forget that Constance was ever the person that drove her to tears. Once that happened, the guilt would eat her alive. How could you do that? Look at her now. Maybe she would have grown up on her own, but you took it all away from her. You’re so much worse than she is.

How could she live with that?

She needed a reminder. She needed something to consistently show her that, not only did she get to be happy and deserve to be happy, but that Constance deserved what had been done to her. And, in no small measure, so that Amanda didn’t forget what she’d done.

An epiphany struck her as to how she could do that and they could both have fun with it.

She stopped circling her and zeroed in again. “Are you you still listening?”

“Yes.”

“My touch makes you crazy. My body is irresistible. You can cum just making out with me. Everything about me turns you on and gets you off. When we fuck, you crave everything we do. When we fuck, it reminds you of how much you love me.”

“When we fuck,” she braced herself, “you remember exactly who you were before tonight. You remember how you treated me. You remember how you felt about me. You still love me and I’m irresistible to you no matter how hard you try to resist, but when we fuck, you are the person you used to be. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Never had hate sex. I hope it’s not overrated.

She was thankful that she would still have the chance to tweak things later if she needed to. Amanda figured that since she was sort of still working with Constance as Constance, there wouldn’t be any problem. “After I say ‘integrate,’ sleep for ten minutes, then wake up and behave like you were told to. Understand?”

“Yes.”

One more deep breath and, “Integrate.”

One twitch of her head, a deep sigh, then nothing. Amanda watched carefully for a minute or so, morbidly curious if there would be any other reactions. Seeing none, she decided to go on with things. She took the lighter she used for candles and took the paper to the sink. She’d remember the words forever and, no matter what Kayley said, she wouldn’t risk someone else seeing what they were.

She lit it and let it burn in the stainless steel basin, watching the flames try to climb higher, searching for fuel as they consumed the paper. Finding none, they retreated quickly. The piercing warble of the smoke detector made her jump, but she ignored it long enough to douse the last bits of paper with water from the faucet and used the sprayer to drive them into the disposal.

“I hear you. I hear you,” she muttered as she grabbed a junk-mail flyer from the breakfast bar and stretched her arm upward, waving it furiously until the detector finally decided to shut up. She glanced in her direction, finding Constance still oblivious to all and, deciding she was hungry, set herself to making herself something to eat rather than sit and stare at the statue that was Constance. Focus on something else and that way she didn’t have to stare at her and argue with herself over what she’d done and try to convince herself to undo it.

She could surrender to the rhythm of chopping vegetables and her mind was so happy to avoid the moral quandaries she’d created for herself that she’d lost track of just enough time that she jumped when a voice broke that rhythm. “Are we doing stir fry? It looks like we’re doing stir fry.” When Amanda jumped, Constance took half a step back and put her hands up, “Whoops. Sorry. I didn’t realize hacking up some peppers was so mentally taxing.”

Amanda’s defenses raised at the snark and gave her a stern look, ready to at least try to put her into place until she saw the smile the other had; the honest relaxed smile on her face that disarmed her like flipping a switch.

“You okay, honey?”

Amanda couldn’t not look at her when she looked like that. She never realized how often Constance looked like she was on the verge of lashing out at, well, anyone. Even in those times when she was being what Amanda thought was nice to her and even her own friends there was this sense that it was all done behind some sort of barrier. But that was down now.

For her.

“I’m fine, Connie, Wanna pull out the other cutting board and help a girl out?”

She reached into the drawer, pulled out the smaller, thinner plastic board, grabbed a pepper, and got to work. “Must you with the ‘Connie?’ She sounded more gently exasperated than angry.

“I think I must. What’s wrong with that anyway?”

“Haven’t we gone through this before? It just sounds childish is all. It sounds like people are trying to, I don’t know, minimize me when they say it. They say it, and I hear, ‘Hey, little girl.’

There, Amanda thought, were the first beginnings of understanding her. She was an island unto herself. She kept herself apart because, while she had no problems diminishing another, she was terrified at the prospect of being diminished. Maybe it was just easier to strike first. “Well, I don’t mean it that way.”

“I know you don’t. I know that for you it’s just a nickname because you love me. That’s why I let you. Kitty keeps the claws in when Mandy calls her that.”

She giggled, pausing her cutting so she didn’t laugh laugh a finger off, “So every time you don’t claw my eyes out for it is an ‘I love you?’”

“Pretty much.”

There was that quiet sweetness again and Amanda’s heart was already skipping a beat here and there. Every moment in this dream made the reality of the last few weeks fade away. “I should consider myself lucky then, I guess. Well...”

Suddenly she was trying to speak into Connie’s mouth, her tongue keeping Amanda’s from forming words. Second by beautiful second the time passed until she broke the kiss and Amanda saw the affection still there. “We should eat, then we should eat,”

Amanda thought that was an outstanding idea.

Dinner at the little table next to the couch proceeded swimmingly. The filled the time with chat, idle and not. Amanda listened more than talked, though she enjoyed jumping in. It felt like a lovely first date, which, she supposed, it was.

Connie looked around the small apartment with some of her usual disdain. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Hm?”

“What the fuck are you still doing here? I’m sure you like this place and everything, but you really don’t need to live here. Let me call movers and get you the hell out of this closet. I’ll even pay them to pack you up.”

“Where to?”

Connie sighed. Either her sweetie was sweetly clueless again or she was teasing. “Lucky for you, I know a rich bitch who wouldn’t mind if you came and took one of the bedrooms in her condo for your stuff. Or, Hell, dump all this stuff and I’ll buy you new stuff.”

“New dresses? New shoes?”

“You could use that and a few more bits, Mandy, and all the money does is sit in my bank not doing anybody any good. And you need to drop the whole,” she groped for something that wouldn’t be too hurtful, “country girl thing, at least sometimes. You wanted that internship a while back and it didn’t happen. I think that’s partly because you went in with that country girl attitude, which is, between the two of us sweet and great and all that when it’s just us, but it fucks you over when you try to get what you want. You don’t go in there dressing and acting like an intern.”

“You go in there looking like you could own the place. You go in there acting like you can do anything they ask you to do and they would be total morons not to let you be the one to do it. Part of projecting that is feeling that. Part of feeling that is looking like that.

“I love you. I have the money. I can help, so let me help you be the best you can.”

Amanda could have wept. Yes, it’s what she wanted Connie to be. Yes, it’s how she told Connie to be, but to hear it with her own ears was something else entirely. Her heart pulled her to the woman.“Umm...okay. But...”

“But?”

She rose and put herself on Connie’s lap, “What happens to my dresses?”

“This city has many fine dumpsters.” Connie continued before Amanda could announce whether she was bothered or not. “I’m kidding. Those are you, too. But, maybe we can just, polish things a little bit and get you to, where you can, project a little more polar bear and a little less baby seal.”

“As for this dress, however,” Connie observed, running her hand up and under it to touch her bare thigh. The rush set Amanda’s nipples to wanting to break free of their confinement. “It belongs in a heap on the floor really soon.”

Amanda looked down into those eyes, “And if I let you rip it off me?”

“Bonus.”

Their lips met again, pressing harder than before, their hands frantically searching out untouched flesh. Amanda’s hand slipped under the thin fabric to feel the flash she had craved since what felt like forever and she whimpered into Amanda’s mouth. Connie pressed a hand against her chest and made a half-hearted attempt to push her away. When Amanda pulled back just a touch she saw closed eyes and a knotted brow give way to open eyes and a look of resignation. “Fuck.”

“Constance?”

She looked down at Amanda’s chest before answering, annoyed at the desire doing so inflamed within her. “I figured this is what you’d try to do to me. I’m not a fucking dyke.”

Amanda felt confident and in control in the moment, for the first time in a long time. She didn’t ever want to hurt Constance or ruin her, but she was human, after all. She had needs. One of those needs was to have someone. Another one was for payback. “You kind of are now.” She paused for effect, “Connie.”

Constance flushed, bothered because she wasn’t nearly so bothered as she should have been. In fact, it made her feel warm inside, which made her feel worse. “What did you do to me?”

“A tweak here and a tweak there. I didn’t do a lot. You feel better about me though, don’t you?”

She assessed her feelings with dismay. “Cunt. You made me love you.” She growled at the realization. “You, of all fucking people.”

“I just did what you would have done; you said it yourself.” Amanda let the heat of her breath tickle Constance’s ear after planting kisses on her cheek to get there. “But still I bet I was nicer than you would have been.”

“Yeah,” she admitted with a hint of dark humor. “I would have fucked you over way worse than this. If I can get out of this, you know I’m going to.”

“I can open you up and fix that, too if I have to.”

“I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you and I’m not a dyke, even if you made me one. That was all you.”

“But you are one, aren’t you?” Two fingers slipped under that skirt and behind those panties of silk and lace and that pussy that was smooth as glass before dipping into that hot wet flesh. Amanda smiled when Constance jerked as though struck by an electrical current. “You are one now. You like that?”

The desire she felt was equal desire to kiss her and spit in her face, so her thighs tried to close in equal parts desire to force her out and keep her in. “No, I don’t.” She groaned as those pumping fingers and that thumb that was now flicking that engorged nub what seemed like impossibly fast, sent joy from head to toe, pulling a moan from her. “You’re a fuck up, Mandy. I still….fuck, I still like men. I like me, too.”

“You said ‘too.’

A wave of self-loathing helped her hold onto her anger despite the joy. “Fucking cunt.”

“But you love me,” Mandy reminded her. “Right now you hate my guts. And you love me. And you want me. I didn’t fuck that up, did I?”

Silence, save high-pitched whimpers.

“But that’s maybe something else I can tweak a little. Maybe I go back in there and you only like girls from now on. Maybe you only like plain geek girls in sun dresses and glasses. I can do that now.”

“That’s why I hate you. And that’s why you will. And that’s why you’re no better than me.”

“But it feels good, Connie. You know it feels good.”

The extra quiver of her body at the mutilation of her name was not lost on Amanda, the sexy shiver and her helplessness in the moment, feeding her own imagination. “Connie likes. Connie likes a girl’s fingers in her cunt. Maybe I’ll make Connie a pussy-starved cheater. Maybe Connie loves me with all her heart, but she just can’t stay away from any pussy that’ll let her crawl into their bed.”

“Nnnnn...” Her legs fell open on their own, then she spread them, unable to look away from the hot, dirty geek girl with the wholesome look.

“Maybe you love me more and spoil me and dote on me because you feel guilty, and you’re grateful because I love Connie enough to put up with her desires that she thinks I don’t know about.”

“I can do that now.”

Connie’s mind burned with the thought of pussy after pussy, from making love to a sweet little geek piece of cunt like Amanda, to being used by some wicked butch. She pulled her feet from her heels, needing that hint of nudity. She thought about all those women and more and she came, half-screaming, half crying.

Amanda smiled watching her cum.

Constance hated her.

Constance adored her.

“Or maybe Connie confesses,” she offered, the sounds of a vigorous finger fucking filling the room. “Maybe she dotes on me because she’s a cheating little whore and then has to confess to me so I can forgive her and everything is okay again.”

Constance came, her breath coming in heaves, like a marathon runner trying to find enough left to make it to the finish line.

“Until the next time she hounds after some pussy not mine.”

“Or maybe she tells tells me because I’ll punish her, and that is what makes it okay.”

“I can so do that now.”

Constance grabbed at Amanda’s wrist as an act of defiance to try to pull it free, but she had all the strength of a tired child.

“You’d like that too if I wanted you to, wouldn’t you, Connie?”

Constance whined in response.

Ashamed of herself for crying out again when Amanda stepped away, she compounded it by stuffing her own fingers inside to combat the near painful emptiness of her retreat, though watching Amanda cross her arms, and lift the dress free of her body also helped salve her loneliness. It was a nice body, and she’d thought so even before visions of burying her face in that hairy pussy consumed and repulsed her once she dropped her panties. Her tummy and ass were a little soft, but she had nice legs and those natural tits sat nicely after she freed them from the beige bra she wore.

Constance thought she looked good.

Amanda watched the women who had played with her feelings and manipulate her for weeks on end two-finger fucking herself like a mad woman and look like she needed more as much as it disgusted her. And they both knew only Amanda had what she needed.

Amanda couldn’t help but think she looked good, too. It was good to have. It was good to be in control. It was a heady feeling. No wonder the people like her in the world exuded a carefree confidence.

“On the bed, Connie. Take off your panties, then go doggy.”

Constance wondered what would happen if she tried to make it to the door, but her legs obediently took the two steps that marked the distance between the table and the bed, Even if she could leave. Even if she could tell someone. Even if they could do something about it. Even if all of those things could be true, she’d be without the woman she loved. She loved her as much as she hated her for making her feel it.

But one of the other truths in the moment was that she never felt the feeling for anyone and it felt good, too. And she put it there because Amanda wanted to love her back, so that was another reason to obey even even if she could disobey. And she wouldn’t know what Amanda planned to do with her, now unquestionably lez-hungry pussy. And she had to know.

Bitch.

She hopped up on the unmade bed, on her back long enough to raise her ass from it and work off the lace covering her holes. She tossed them on the bed while Amanda began rummaging through her dresser.

“Straight at the wall, okay, Connie?. No peeking.”

She kept her eyes focused on the art photo of Lilies just above her head. She heard movement. She heard Amanda mutter, “Where are you? I know I didn’t throw you away even though I never used you. There.” She found what she sought. Constance then heard smaller sounds before the bed sagged under the weight of Amanda’s arrival. “My Connie doesn’t like men. What Connie likes is long….”

Constance felt the invader at her pussy lips, sliding up and down, being coated in her cream.

“Hard.”

Constance closed her eyes in dread and delicious anticipation.

“Cock”

She thrust it deep “Connie feels good when I call her Connie and stuff her hole up really nice, right, Connie?”

The trashing of her name to her ear melded with love, hate, and submission to the fact that, fake or no, that was one big cock spreading her. She spread her knees as widely as she could to let it fill her and got a “See?” in response. “This is what you need. This is all you need. You don’t need men, You just need stuffing.”

The dirty whore that was in such a haze letting a nerd-girl finger her was reasserting herself. “Mmm-hmm.”

“I’m gonna do that, for sure, Connie. “You won’t need a man because a man can’t do this to you.”

She tried to hang onto herself. “Men. Fuck.”

Her arms suddenly strained at the weight of Amanda’s body on hers, both hands anchored to her tits, pulling Constance towards her even as she drove in, feeling Constance push back. Hate sex is fucking great. “They also cum and then go limp for a while. Not this though. This will outlast you. Won’t that be nice? Connie getting fucked until she’s all done and can’t take anymore. “No more men for you. Ever. No more desire for men.”

Amanda laughed at the screech she heard as she began to sweat against Connie’s back. “You like that. You want me because I told you to. You love me because I told you to, and I’m going to fuck around in your head because I want to, but Connie likes that part, too.”

“Fucking dyke bitch.” Her pussy clamped down. “Not so weak after all, huh? Well played.”

“If I want, you’ll be such a dyke bitch that naked men make you want to gag. But it’ll be what I want it to be because I want it to be. In bed I’m in charge. In your mind, I’m in charge. Isn’t that true, Connie, honey?”

She couldn’t lie to her and there was no point anyway, “Yes, Mandy.”

“Ready?”

“Not up to me, is it, bitch?”

“Whatever happens to you is up to me,” she growled, biting her shoulder, listening to Connie mix pain with pleasure.

“Yes, Mandy.”

“Ready?”

“Yes, Mandy.”

“Pencil.”

“Banana.”

“Esoteric.”

Her mind knew the words even if the words were wiped clean from her consciousness after that. The same as last time, she barely hung onto them even now, only really hearing them as sounds that didn’t go together and not quite words.

“Skate.”

“Pixie.”

She has the leash now; the leash and a fucking choke chain. I’m the puppy. I’m the needy, helpless puppy that will do anything to love or be wanted by her. She can do anything and all I get to do is fucking take it.

Not unlike an animal, she dipped her head low and bit the pillow and loosed wild, muffled screams.

That Kayley bitch did this to me. Amanda did this to me.

I hate them.

I love them.

“Program...”