Quaranteam
Chapter 26
Lunch had been great fun for everyone. Once Aisling and Niko had told Andy they were pregnant, they’d wanted to tell everyone else as soon as possible, so the moment they’d sat down for lunch, they’d announced it straight out, which had led into a small celebration, and sort of let Andy slip into the background with his thoughts.
Sure, the girls all congratulated him, but they were all much more interested in how Niko and Ash were feeling about everything, so Andy could do a little bit of his own research about the pitches he’d heard thus far. When he had half a minute, he asked Katie for both more about Lexi, as well as what she thought of Jade Dillon. He also did a little bit of talking with Sarah about Maya Steele, since clearly they ran in similar circles. When he had a moment, he also pinged Hannah to see if she’d heard anything about Olivia Shoemaker, Asha’s “influencer” friend. Finally, he asked Jenny about Katie’s ex, Dr. Morgan Fitch, as he felt it didn’t hurt to get an opinion from someone who knew her but wasn’t emotionally invested in her.
By the end of lunch, he almost wished he’d brought his yellow notepad with him. It was a lot of names, a lot of opinions and thoughts to keep from getting scrambled around in his brain. But his own opinions were starting to bake in, to settle and coalesce into something more solid.
His mind was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he almost overlooked how great lunch was. As it always was, it was amazing. He made sure to tell Jenny just how excellent her cooking was, and she said he could thank her by making sure to bring Alexis into the family. He didn’t answer her, but his smile probably gave him away. He didn’t mind.
When they were walking back towards the meeting room, Aisling slipped her arm around his waist, leaned in and kissed his cheek. “You’re happy Niko and I are expectin’, right, love?” She had a smile on her face, so she was simply reinforcing what she already knew. “Sometimes you can bit understated ’bout these kinds of things.”
Andy chuckled a little, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “You know that I am, Ash. I’m sorry if I seemed a little distant at lunch. This is just a lot of information to take in all at once, lots of people to consider, lots of decisions to make. Shit, people’s lives and livelihoods hang in the balance of my stupid judgment. The decisions I’m going to make tomorrow have real, genuine consequences, things I gotta live with for the rest of my life, and I don’t want to let anyone down. Turning anyone down feels like—”
“Stop,” Ash said, holding him from walking any further. “I told you up front that nobody was going to hold anything against you, and we’re all going to honor that. You didn’t have to let anyone have a say, and you’re letting everyone have a say. That’s all anyone has the right to ask of you.” She sighed, then laughed for a second. “Jaysis, if it was me, I’d have thrown the towel in and just taken nobody, but you’re not doing that, despite the fact that nobody would’ve blamed you if you’d had. Instead, you set down what your reasonable capabilities are, and everyone agreed to them. So stop getting in your own damn way and just get on with it already.”
He had to laugh with her at that point, nodding in agreement. As soon as he sat down, he did scribble a few thoughts he’d had from lunch, but still carried on talking to Ash while he did. “Okay, okay, I get it. No more moping about this, and no more overthinking it. Just listen to the pitches, make my decisions and move forward with our lives. I’ll hold you to nobody being mad, though.”
“Everybody knows what’s coming down the pipeline, Andy,” Ash said. “It’ll be alright. I promise you, it’ll all be alright. Now let’s get these last four underway. There’s still a few surprises left to spring on you, and it’s always fun to watch your expression when you’re caught off guard.”
“What kind of crazy surprises do you have lined up for me?” he said, as Piper strode through the door confidently, dressed in her Team USA gear, some sort of warm-up suit. He was certain she wasn’t wearing the full Olympian gear underneath it, but the very presence of the outfit seemed designed to send a message.
“You should know she doesn’t have anything planned for you, Andy,” Piper said, smirking at him. “This is all us.”
“How are you feeling, Piper? Head starting to clear up? Starting to feel more like yourself again?” Andy asked.
“A lot better, yeah. The first few days, it was like, I dunno, like I was walking through fog, like every inch of my body was coated in maple syrup,” the brunette volleyball player said, looking around the room a bit before looking back at Andy. “I was living in quicksand, but over the last couple of days, all of that’s been lifting and I’ve felt mostly like myself again. I’ve been trying to get back on my work out regimen, so that’s helped some. But I think the further I get away from that state, the state I was in when you first saw me, the better off I’ll be.” She looked better, there was no denying. Her eyes didn’t have the dark, heavy bags underneath them that they had when they first met. She’d also put a little bit of weight back on, but Andy suspected that was because she had been massively dehydrated when he had first seen her in the room Covington had locked her up inside. He was glad to see her coming back into being her full self. “A couple more weeks and I’ll be right as rain again. But that’s not why I’m here today.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t hurt for me to ask about you first.”
“Yeah yeah,” Piper said, as she picked up the remote, pressing the button as a Nordic looking blonde appeared on the screen. “I don’t know how much you follow the Olympics, but if you do, you might recognize my friend Brooke Maloney here. She’s being hyped as the next big thing for the woman’s swim team. She’s going to enter a number of various swim competitions—breast stroke, freestyle, relay—but obviously there aren’t any games this year, and she’s going out of her mind swimming laps in the compound’s pool.”
The blonde, much like Piper, looked fit, although she looked much shorter in comparison, with broader shoulders and a wide smile on her face, sitting at a table full of athletes. Piper pushed the button again and the screen advanced to a new image, one of Piper and Brooke sitting on a blanket at some outdoor concert.
“What do you mean ‘compound?’” Andy asked.
“A lot of the soon-to-be Olympians were at the US Training Camp, putting in a hard six months before the Olympics,” Piper said. “Me and the rest of the volleyball team were going to be diverted there when the lockdown had been going for a few months, but it was deemed ‘too risky’ for any of us to be moved. Well, up until our dear Mister Covington decided to scoop me up and tried to make me into his own personal plaything. Thanks again for rescuing me from that, by the by.”
“I’m just glad you’re not mad it’s me you’re bound to.”
“We’ve been over this, Andy,” she sighed, a polite smile on her face. “I’m happy it was someone as nice as you. Let’s move things forward. Now, one of the dirty little secrets you may not have heard about the Olympics is that after an athlete competes in their particular event, they go back to the Olympic village and they let off all that pent up steam that’s been building in them for years. I haven’t had a chance to experience myself personally, but our trainers and coaches have been telling us about it for as long as we’ve been old enough to hear the stories. I don’t need that pressure valve any more because, well, I have you. But my friend Brooke, well, she doesn’t have that. Not yet, anyway.”
She pushed the button and the image advanced to another picture of Brooke, this time in Daisy Duke cutoff jean shorts, a white tied up shirt and a wide brimmed stetson hat, somewhere at a country bar, a Corona in hand with a lime. Her blonde hair was done up in short pigtails, which looked odd on her by Andy’s reckoning.
“Brooke and I have been friends for a couple of years now, and believe me, the Olympics is literally all she thinks about,” Piper said. “She wants to win gold medals so much it, it’s eating her up inside. Now with the 2020 games being pushed back until at least 2021, she’s going out of her mind, like a predator able to see its prey under glass but not being allowed to hunt it.”
Piper pushed the button and the picture changed to an image of Brooke leaning against a Shelby Cobra, dressed in overalls, covered in grease, a wrench in her hand. “Her only other real passion is classic cars. She’s something of a gearhead, and any time she’s not training, she’s working on cars. She’s done more than a couple frame off restorations and more than a handful of heavy mods. She’s had a couple of boyfriends over the years, but they never last all that long.”
“So what’s she like in the sack, Pipes?” Ash asked her.
“She’s about as vanilla as they come,” Piper answered. “She likes things slow and steady, smooth and soft. But she’ll be a good lover, and a good friend.”
“Complications you anticipate?” Andy asked.
“You’re from pretty different worlds, but I’ve often been told that opposites attract, so maybe that won’t be as big an issue as I think it might be,” she shrugged. “You’re pretty rock’n’roll, and she’s a country girl at heart. You’re a big city guy and she’s a small town girl. She’s at church every Sunday and I’m pretty sure you’re an aethist. So maybe that’s all too much to scale, but then again maybe it isn’t. I’m sure whatever you decide, it’ll be the right decision.”
Piper pushed the button and the screen advanced again, back to a black screen, with the words “Next: Sarah” in a cartoonish white lettering.
“Any reason you didn’t suggest any of the other girls from your volleyball team, just out of curiosity?” Andy asked. “I would’ve figured they would’ve been some of your best friends.”
The brunette smirked, flashing him a little wink. “Oh they are, but there’s no way in hell I’m sharing my man with the likes of them. Let’em find their own hunk; they can keep their sticky fucking fingers off of mine.”
With that, Piper headed out of the room, leaving the door open behind her, striding confidently down the hallway.
“So, just to warn you about the next one, Andy, we do know in advance that you have met her a couple of times, but in the pictures we’ve seen, you always looked friendly, so we’re going off that,” Aisling said to him, as she texted Sarah to head to the conference room. “If we’re wrong in those assumptions, ye can tell us and we’ll let the matter drop then and there.”
“Oh yeah?” Andy said, suddenly wondering what familiar face was going to grace the screen in moments. “Where do I know her from?”
The Irish redhead waggled a finger in his direction. “Just be patient, love. She’ll be up and in front o’ ya in just a minute or two.”
Andy rolled his eyes with a grin. “Then what’s the harm in telling me early?”
“The harm is Sarah will have my tits in a wringer if I spill the goss before she’s here.”
“Good lord, you girls and your secrets,” he muttered in amusement.
The statuesque redhead arrived moments later, and she immediately came over to hug Aisling, a giggle slipping from Sarah’s mouth. “Congrats again, Ash,” Sarah said to her. “I didn’t want to say it in front of the others, but I am totally fucking jealous of you right now, you wouldn’t even fucking believe me how jealous I am. Today is obviously the day I stop taking my birth control, because, damn, my clock is ticking, girlfriend.”
Ash shook her head with a mischievous grin. “You don’t want to wait until you’re a little more settled in first, Sarah? Or until you’re married?”
Sarah pulled back from the hug, looking over at Andy, licking her lips with a wild smile. “Shit, if I thought I could get him to do it, I’d beg him to fuck me until I was knocked up right here on this table, right here and now. But I’ve only got ten minutes, so maybe I should just get to the presentation.”
Andy gestured to the remote with a smile. “Maybe.”
“One thing first, though.” Sarah had come into the meeting in a dress skirt and a dark red silk blouse, but she turned around, did something, then turned back, bringing a glistening finger to Andy’s lips before the actress slipped it into his mouth, and he could taste her pussy on it. “Just so you know how much the idea of you breeding me turns me on.” She winked at him as she pulled her fingertip from his lips and walked back to the other side of the table.
“On with the show, Sares,” Aisling poked, although it was clear the smaller redhead was grinning.
“Yeah, totes, Ash, I’m getting’ there.” Sarah picked up the remote and clicked the button, as the screen behind her flickered to life. “Oh look! It’s you! And you’re with one of my other total favorite writers, Larissa Cotton!”
Andy immediately recognized the shot. It was taken about five years ago, at DragonCon. Andy hadn’t wanted to go, but he’d been nominated for a Hugo, an award he’d ended up winning, for “Behind The Darkest Sky,” the most successful of the Druid Gunslinger novels, partially because it was the most risky of the books. When Andy had written it, he’d almost thought it might be the end of the series if it didn’t work, if the audience didn’t trust him to stick around long enough to see the story continue in the next one. He’d left the Gunslinger in a hell of a mess at the end of the book, and while he was over half way through writing the next one when “Behind The Darkest Sky” had come out, he’d still been in a very nervous place about going to a convention, knowing he didn’t want to say anything at all about the next book in the series.
At the Hugo awards for the night, he’d found himself sat with a handful of authors he hadn’t met before that night, including Larissa Cotton, a Hispanic woman from Portland who’d written an amazing book called “Ions At Dawn,” a technothriller about a woman who finds herself grappling with an archaeological find that threatens to rewrite the basic underpinnings of science. Andy had read all the nominees and found her book fascinating, although maybe a bit too heady for the average reader.
Larissa was nothing like any writer he’d ever met before. She was brash, confident, boisterous and outspoken, the loudest presence in any room, and yet, never in a harsh way. She was a plus-sized woman, thick but not in an unappealing way. The silver hoop in her nose had been a little off putting, and Andy had found the overwhelming number of tattoos more than a little distracting, almost perhaps no more than the goth Lolita look meets skater punk she’d been rocking at the party, long striped leggings and lace up leather corset.
They’d gotten along reasonably well, although Larissa had gotten rip roaringly drunk by the end of the night. Andy and a couple of others had needed to help her back to her hotel room, since she was nearing blackout stages by the end of the night.
Andy and Larissa had reminded occasionally in contact since then, but they certainly weren’t what Andy would describe as close. They’d met up a couple of times in the years since, but generally it had just been if they’d been in the same town, and then only within a group of people.
“Larissa lives up in Portland,” Andy said. “So she’s not really local.”
“Sure, but that can change,” Sarah said. “I mean, Emily and I both lived in LA until we moved here. Asha’s lived most of her life in London and Piper spent most of her life in Florida. People move, Andy. That can’t be an excuse.”
“Well, no,” Andy laughed, “but she was also engaged last I heard.”
“Wait, what?” Sarah asked. “I talked to her like three months ago, and she didn’t mention it, and I didn’t see any engagement ring.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I misheard, or maybe they called it off. It was a couple of years ago, when a bunch of us were getting drunk after our ComicCon panels. She said she’d just sold the film adaptation rights to ‘Ions At Dawn’ to somebody and we all went out to celebrate.”
Aisling nodded. “She sold the rights to Sarah, as a matter of fact.”
The taller redhead pushed the button on the remote and the screen advanced to an image of Sarah and Larissa at a conference table shaking hands. “My production company, Awkward & Dorky Films, to be more specific. We agreed to let her give us a first draft if she agreed to go through the notes and revisions process without too many complaints.”
“Heh,” Andy smirked. “And ’Ris agreed to that? Talk about being prickly to editors. She damn near took my head off when she had me read a first draft of her third book, ‘Castle of Yesterdays,’ and I gave her notes on it.”
“It totally couldn’t have been as bad as you’re making it out to be, Andy,” Sarah teased. “Don’t be such a baby. Suck it up.”
“I believe she told me that I could roll up my notes and shove them into my dickhole until I was crapping them out,” he said.
“Fuck,” Sarah muttered. “You must’ve been really hard in those notes.”
“Not really?” He shrugged a little. “I mean, I offered some basic opinions on structure and I told her that a couple of the chapters went on too long with nothing happening, and that the climax felt overly weak but that it was a great first draft. Hell of a lot better than my first drafts usually turn out. I mean, I liked the book a lot. But that’s what you do with first drafts—show them to someone, figure out what works and what doesn’t, then make a real book out of it.”
“I liked ‘Castle of Yesterdays,’ though, Andy!” Sarah whined.
“Sure!” he said, waggling a finger at her. “You just read the final version, which went through about six revisions. And, for what it’s worth, she ended up using most of my notes. I mean, I didn’t hold it against her that she didn’t like getting notes. Every author can be a little bit of a prima donna sometimes.”
“Well, as of July, I don’t think she was married or engaged or whatever, and she’s completely rad. Also, you two get along, because you’ve obviously gone out for dinner and drinks before, and she trusted you enough to let you read her first draft of a new book, so that seems good enough to me, don’t you think?”
“I mean, we weren’t close friends, but we were, er, are friendly acquaintances. I don’t know that either of us thought the other was their type, though. She seemed to be into people who were way more of the 80s skateboard punk ethos than me.”
“You saw her with a man at some point?”
“Oh yeah,” Andy said, “Well, no. I mean, not directly, but she showed me a picture of her and ‘her man,’ she called him, back a couple of years ago, anyway. He was big, fit fellow. Broad shoulders, six pack. About as far from me as any man can possibly get. He looked like he could’ve bench pressed me for hours without breaking a sweat, and she, well, she looked happy.”
Sarah shrugged a little bit. “Whoever he was, Andy, he completely didn’t last, because when she and I were meeting to discuss our notes for the screenplay, she was sniping about how she hadn’t had a proper lay in months. So big and hunky didn’t work for her, so maybe you could. I know she thinks you’re cute. I told her I had a crush on you and she said ‘Well, who could blame you?’ so I think she does too.”
“How well do you know her, Sarah?”
The taller redhead shrugged. “Not all that well, but she’s been nice to me, and she’s someone you know, so maybe that could be something that would work for you.”
“Do you have any idea whether or not we’d be sexually compatible?”
Sarah shrugged with a smile. “It’s never come up, so I don’t have any idea.”
“Possible challenges?”
“Two writers in the same room might always want to be editing one another?” she giggled. “I genuinely don’t know, Andy. But I thought it was a good idea so I wanted to suggest it.”
“Fair enough then.”
“One last thing before I go,” Sarah said, pushing the button to advance the screen to an image that read “next: Sheridan” on it in a frilly cursive font. “I was telling you at lunch that I think bringing Maya Steele into the family is a great idea, so I wanted to stress that while I haven’t changed my mind on that, I did forget to tell you not to ever get into a drinking contest with her. Your fucking head will hurt and your liver will be punching you in the eye for fucking days.”
“And yet, you still think I should bring her in?”
Sarah nodded emphatically. “Maya’s a bad ass, and you need someone as direct as her in your life. I mean, Neeks handles most of that, but really, Maya’s got her beat hands down.”
“Are you trying to convince me not to bring her in? Someone more direct than Niko?”
“It’ll be fine, Andy,” Sarah said, flipping her hair with one hand. “I already know you’re going to pick her, so trust me when I tell you that is the correct decision to make.”
“And if that isn’t the decision I’m making?”
“Then you’re being a fucking idiot and you’d better come to your senses before your final decision, because no man should be allowed to be that fucking stupid. Obvs. But I know you’re totally not and you’re really just fucking with me, and that’s cool, because I fucking love our little back and forth banter,” she said as she walked around the table before leaning down and kissing him firmly, pressing her lips against his for a long moment. “Have fun with the rest of the pitches!”
As Sarah walked out of the room, Aisling shook her head while sending the message to Sheridan for her to make her way up to the pitch room. “It can be very hard to remember she’s been nominated for an Oscar when she acts like that,” the smaller redhead said. “But I guess it’s part of her ‘girl next door’ charm. Anyway, what did you think? You’re not mad about Sarah pitching Larissa?”
“Why would I be mad?” he laughed. “I just don’t know that it’d work. But it’s something I’ll definitely consider when I’m doing my deliberations, especially since Sarah seems to think Larissa might be into me. I never got that vibe, but—”
“But it’s well established you barely know a woman’s into you even when she’s sitting in your lap and whispering into your ear that she wants you to fuck her brains out.”
Andy gave her a disapproving smirk. “I’m not that bad.”
“You’re not far from it, on some days, anyway.”
Sheridan came strolling into the room, wearing what she had at lunch, far less dressed up than most of the girls, wearing jean shorts over a leotard or a swimsuit, her frizzy blonde hair mostly tucked back, damp but not soaked. Andy half wondered if she’d been swimming in the pool while she’d been waiting. Sheridan had been known to enjoy swimming, even though the weather was dipping into the cooler side. Since her job as a performer was on hold until the pandemic was under control, she’d done her best to find ways to occupy her time.
“Heya stud,” she said with a wink as she wandered over to sit down in the chair. “I’m not gonna ask you if you’ve made decisions yet, but I am gonna ask how you’re feeling about the process so far. It’s hella cool that you’re giving us input into that, and it’s a big deal, so thanks for that. Anyway, I think you’re gonna find my friend a wild ride.”
“Let’s get to it then,” Andy said.
Sheridan picked up the remote and pushed the button as the screen popped to life, a image of Sheridan sitting with a young woman in her late 20s or early 30s, with jet black hair and skin the color of desert sand. She was a little more on the plump side, with a mischievous smile. They were sitting at a wood table on the patio of some local bar.
“This is my friend Tala Jordan,” the blonde said. “Her parents immigrated here from Iran in 1970. We met in high school and became besties. She’s the one who talked me into quitting smoking. We were roommates in college down at Santa Cruz and we’ve been roomies on and off again since we both graduated in 2012.”
“Why do I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere before?” Andy said, the woman’s face looking vaguely familiar in a way he simply couldn’t place.
“You go to a lot of concerts, Andy?”
“Some.”
“Well, then she’s probably been singing with an opening band you’ve seen at a concert.” Sheridan pushed the button and the image advanced, showing Tala playing an electronic keyboard on a stand, and singing into a microphone. He recognized the stage as The Independent, a small but influential club in San Francisco that also tended to get some big name acts. “Boom Goes The Dynamite, Castle Idea, The Grendelles, Lowball Skyscrapers, Girls Gone Danger... hell, probably at least half a dozen more that I can’t remember. Every time I talk to her, it seems like she’s got some new band she’s playing with.”
“What does she do when she’s not playing in a band?” Aisling asked. Andy was certain she probably already knew the answer to the question and was simply asking for his benefit.
“She’s a carpenter,” Sheridan said, pushing a button to advance to a slide of Tala working on a desk. “More specifically, she’s a cabinetmaker, most of the time, anyway. She and a couple of her friends opened their own custom furniture house about five years ago, and people really like their stuff, because that’s kept her afloat while living in the Bay, although to be fair, she’s also gotten a very specific kind of clientele as of late.”
“What’s that?” Andy asked.
Sheridan pushed the button again, and the new image showed Tala sitting on top of a desk with dozens of shelves, a hutch atop it that had a number of closed doors on it. “She’s become a puzzle maker. Custom puzzle boxes, puzzle desks, that kind of thing. It’s a weird little niche, but it pays incredibly well, and she’s made stuff for people like Kris Angel, Neil Patrick Harris and Elon Musk. Those projects usually take a month or two’s worth of work, but they pay for an entire year or two’s worth of mortgage, so she’s okay with it.”
“Fascinating. What’s she like as a person?”
“She’s wicked smart and very funny.” She pushed the button and the image advanced again, showing the two of them standing on the Golden Gate bridge, their backs to the Bay. It must have been extremely windy on the day the picture was taken, because both women were doing their best to keep their hair from flying all over the place. Both girls were clearly laughing hysterically. “Some people think she can come across as a bit mean, but they just don’t recognize she’s only busting their balls a bit. She always told me that the Persian sense of humor can go over the heads of people not smart enough to keep up with her, and that she doesn’t mind. She’s a lot like Niko, and considering how much you and she get along, I think you’ll dig Tala loads.”
Andy nodded. “Do you think she and I would be sexually compatible? What’s she want out of a man?”
Sheridan grinned from ear-to-ear and Andy immediately wondered what he’d said to trigger such a reaction. “If you had asked me two weeks ago, I would’ve given you an entirely different answer than the one I can give you today, dude. So when I told her about the whole imprinting process, and all about the accident we had with me getting primed early, I expected to see Tala be hella concerned about me, but instead, she got this freaky look on her face, and I realized about half way through my story that she was jilling off while I told her about it. It turned her on so much she just couldn’t help it,” the blonde said, licking her lips with wolfish delight. “I’d never known before, but she’s always had this pheromone fetish. Like, she gets turned on by the idea of being so turned on that she doesn’t have control of herself, that she’s turned into some carnal unstoppable beast who is going to fuck even if she has to move hell to get it.”
Andy swallowed a mouthful of air awkwardly.
“When I told her about your first encounter with Piper, I swear to god, she fucking came just hearing about it. She wasn’t even touching herself at that point, ’cause she was holding the phone with both hands. I asked her about it, and she said she was kinda embarrassed to talk about it, but admitted that it’d always been a fetish of hers. I found out all of this yesterday when I called to ask her if she’d be interested in me putting her forward for a chance to join you.”
“And I take it that the tales of the imprinting process only enhanced her interest?”
“Totes. Obvs she wants to be here, but she also wants you to edge her all the time.”
“What do you mean edge her?”
“She asked what happens when you try and stretch out the amount of time a girl needs to get her dose, and I told her your story about you and Lauren, and she wants to constantly be going towards that state. That turns her on like you wouldn’t imagine. So seems to me like you get multiple ticks in the win column by bringing her here.”
“Possible challenges?”
“Well, being quarantined in New Eden’s gonna be rough on her, because she’s big into spending time with her parents. She moved into their house when the pandemic started, and I know when people come into New Eden, they can’t leave until the pandemic’s over, so you’ll need to make sure she understands that, but I’m betting the idea of getting to live out her number one sexual fantasy, like, all the fucking time might be enough to convince her that her folks will be okay on their own.”
“How close are you two, Sheridan?”
“She’s, like, one of my best friends, maybe my best friend, actually. I think you’d like her a lot. I know we haven’t spent, like, loads of time together, but she really wants this, and you’ve got me, and you seem to like me well enough, so maybe you’d like her too, y’know?”
Andy nodded with a smile. “Okay then. Thanks for talking to me about her, and I’ll be letting everyone know tomorrow what my decisions are.”
“Yep, I got the spiel on the rules from Ash before we got started, so I know how it works,” she said, pressing the button to advance the screen once more, bold white letters reading “next: Taylor” on the black background. “Just remember, while we all gotta live with’em, you’re the one who’s gonna have to fuck’em every couple of weeks, so don’t take anyone you don’t wanna dip your wick into on the regular, y’hear?”
With that, Sheridan headed out of the room, leaving Andy and Aisling alone in the room again. “I didn’t even know there was a fetish for that kind of thing.”
“You live near San Francisco, love,” Aisling teased, almost like a disappointed parent. “You more than anyone should know there’s a fetish for every kind of thing. And nobody’s judging. If it’s not your thing, no problem. If it turns you on thinking about it, no problem. To thine own self be true, like Polonius said.”
“You know it’s meant to be bad advice when he says it in Hamlet, right?” Andy replied, a cocked grin on his face.
“Don’t be such a geezer about it.”
“I’m a writer, Ash. Being a geezer about the English language is right there in the job description.”
Taylor knocked on the door, and had to be told twice to come in. She was actually dressed in clothing now, Lauren obviously having made an exception for the day, as the girl was still in her time of punishment when she wasn’t supposed to be wearing clothing or using furniture. Andy wasn’t sure that Lauren would make her go the whole month, but as of yet, the Aussie had shown no sign of suddenly doling out leniency. Taylor had on a pair of gym shorts and a white muscle t-shirt that did very little to mask her impressive bust, but her hair was drawn back into a modest ponytail, high on her head, done up in a scrunchy. “So I’m the last one, huh?” she said, as she came into the room, looking at the chair then looking at Andy expectantly.
“Sit, sit,” Andy said. “If she’s letting you get dressed to pitch, I’m sure she’s fine with you sitting in a chair while you go through the whole process. And if she wasn’t, I’m certain she would have said something.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Taylor said, finally moving to sit down in the chair. “Uh, hi! I did want to be sure and say thank you for letting us all do this, sir. I know you’ve been a little overwhelmed by all the female attention you’ve been getting, but it’s very kind of you to allow us to suggest our friends to you, to make this home a little more like home.”
“Just as long as none of you get mad if I don’t choose the people you pitch,” Andy said.
Taylor’s bright blue eyes widened and she shook her head. “Oh, no no, sir. Miss Aisling made it abundantly clear what she’d do to us if we did, and none of us want to incur her wrath!” The blonde giggled a little, as Andy saw Aisling shake her head out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an honor just to be nominating, sir. Which brings us to my friend Natalie.”
The blonde picked up the remote and pressed the button as the image changed before them from the black screen to an image of Taylor and another girl standing in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, doing that cliched stance that it seemed like every tourist was obliged to it. The two girls in the picture made rather a stark contrast to each other. While they were both blonde, Natalie was tall and thin compared to Taylor’s short and curvy. Natalie was dressed in a summer dress that hung perhaps a bit too loosely on her. “Nat and I met in junior high and have been besties since then. After we graduated high school, we went and took a trip through Europe together, which my parents paid for, because Natalie doesn’t come from money, where as my folks work for Bank of America in upper management.”
“You told me you were twenty-five the other day, so that means you’ve known her, what, a dozen years or so?”
Taylor nodded. “Something like that. She was the first person I came out to as bisexual, and while Nat didn’t feel the same way, she was super supportive of me. I didn’t want to fuck her anyway; I just wanted someone to talk to about it, and Nat didn’t judge me, just like I didn’t judge her when she let me in on her big secret a few years ago.”
“You don’t have to share someone else’s secret with me, Taylor. I wouldn’t ask you to violate someone else’s trust.”
Taylor smiled at him warmly. “I know you wouldn’t but it’s okay for me to tell you, because she told me it’s okay to tell you.” She picked up the remote and clicked the button again, and suddenly the image changed in a startling and dramatic way. The tall, leggy blonde had traded the sundress for a silver bikini, six inch clear heels and a steel pole behind her. “Natalie has also been going by the name Mercedes four nights a week at Centerfolds in San Francisco. A lot of dancers insist you call them exotic dancers, but Nat’s always been okay with being called a stripper.”
Andy’s eyebrow raised a bit. “Okay, I definitely didn’t see this one coming.”
“So I’m sure you’ve heard the stories before if you’ve ever been in a strip club, but Natalie really is stripping to pay her way through school. Medical school, to be exact,” Taylor said with a giggle. “She’s been told a bunch of times that she could make all that money faster if she got a boob job, but Natalie’s happy with her body, so she’s told those people to fuck off for years now. And besides, people say she kinda looks like Charlize Theron, and if she strapped a couple of grapefruit to her chest, she’d lose that.”
The bubbly fireplug blonde pushed the button to show Natalie with her arms holding onto the pole, her legs raised into the air in a wide V, like she was about to clack the heels of those shoes together with a thunderous crack.
“She’s in year one of med school now, having had to take a little time off to earn the money to pay for premed and med school. She’d love to just be able to focus on school and not have to be dancing at the club once the quarantine’s done. But, shit, she’s been hit hard by the fact that she can’t dance to earn, and the bills just keep piling up.”
Taylor pushed the button once more, changing the image to show Natalie from behind, wearing a plaid mini skirt, looking over her shoulder at the camera, and on the small of her back, just above her waist, was a single line of script. On further investigation, it brought a grin to Andy’s face.
“I take it the tattoo meets with your approval?”
“I mean, I can’t tell you what it says, but I do recognize elvish script when I see it. So she’s a member of the geek tribe then, I take it?”
“She is, but she did want me to tell you that she’s never read your books before. She’s heard of you, but her first love has always been Tolkien. The tattoo says ‘Fire will only forge me stronger’ in Elvish, or, well, she claims it does. I dunno. I can’t read it, so I have to trust her. She and I talked about it, and she is going to make it a point to read your books, but she doesn’t want you to think she’s a superfan like Sarah is.”
Andy laughed a little at that. “I don’t think I know anyone who’s the level of superfan about my books that Sarah is, so that’s fine. Sexually, do you think she and I would be compatible?”
“I don’t really know, sir,” Taylor sighed. “She and I don’t talk about sex that much. I know she makes sort of yipping chipmunk noises when she’s really worked up, but that’s just from being roommates for a while. She’s straight, so she’s unlikely to want to play with the other girls, but I think she deserves a chance at happiness.”
“Any other things you can think of that might be dealbreakers?”
“I mean, she’s going to be studying all the time, because she very much wants to be a doctor, and I know doctors can keep some weird hours.”
He nodded, flipping his notepad face down, as he stood up. “Well, thanks for taking the time to share your friend with me, and for having the courage to do this.”
“Oh, it really didn’t take that much courage, sir,” Taylor said, blushing a little.
“It did,” Andy corrected, “whether you know it or not. As someone whose gotten more than two hundred rejection letters in his life, it takes guts to put yourself out there. I’ll have my decision tomorrow.”
Taylor stood up and moved over to hug him, her arms clinging to him firmly for a long moment before she pulled back. “You should know, sir, that we’re all very lucky we found you, or that you found us. We could’ve been saddled with somebody like these assholes Lauren tells me parade around their trophy wives like chattel, but you’re so much better than them. Thank you again for that.”
Andy rubbed his hand against Taylor’s back. “You’re very welcome. Do me a favor, would you? Round up all the girls and have them meet me in the big downstairs living room, okay?”
“You got it, sir.” Taylor leaned away, stopped, leaned back, grabbed Andy and pulled him down so she could kiss them, then giggled and scampered off.
“Why are you gathering everyone together? I thought you were going to sleep on it before you made any decisions,” Aisling asked, looking as Andy picked up his notepad, as well as the folded piece of paper with Ash’s predictions on it.
“Oh, I am, but if I’m going to call Xander tomorrow and fill him in on everything, I figured we could take a group photo of the whole household and send it to him ahead of the chat.”
The Irish redhead stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re a stinker, but I love it.”
A few minutes later, the living room in question was filled with people, and Andy decided to give a few short words to everyone.
“Okay everyone, I want to thank you all for being so respectful in sharing your friends with me, trying to play matchmaker and to offer them for consideration in being invited to our home. I’m going to let myself think about it for a while, but sometime tomorrow, I will come down here and post a list of who’s being invited to the house, the way the editor-in-chief of my college newspaper used to announce next semester’s staff. Once the list is posted, those of you who know people who are going to be invited can put together a short video to send to your friend, telling them why you think they should come and join us here. Now, obviously, any of them can feel free to say no, so I will also have two names listed as alternate, and if you’re friends with the alternates, you may want to put together a short video invite, just in case one of my initial selections says no.
“I’m not going to harbor any ill will if someone declines our invitation, and neither should you. This world, our world, it’s a lot for anyone to take in, and if someone doesn’t want to get on the rollercoaster with us, well, that’s entirely up to them. But in closing, let me just say something from the movie ‘Roxanne,’ okay? ‘I would rather be with the people of this house... than with the finest people in the world!’ Viva la familia!”
There was a rousing cheer followed by applause, and afterwards, everyone started to gather up for the photo. Katie suggested she take the picture, since she expected that she, Jenny and Nicolette wouldn’t be in it, but Andy refused, saying that while he fully respected they were the staff, they were still going to be in a photo showing his whole household, something Katie found herself unable to disagree with, so a tripod was set up, and everyone got into place.
In the center of the photo was Andy, sitting on the couch, with Niko immediately on one side of him, Aisling immediately on the other. Sitting on the floor directly in front of him, Emily leaned up against one of his legs, Sarah on the other, each of the two holding hands with Niko and Ash, arms criss crossing to almost lock Andy in. Lauren sat to the right of Niko, with Taylor on her leg, underneath her arm. Sheridan and Piper sat to the left of Aisling, squeezed in on the couch. On the floor, Hannah and Asha bookended the two actresses, while Katie and Jenny sat on one arm of the couch, and Nicolette perched on the other.
It took a handful of attempts to get the image framed right, to make sure nobody was blinking or frowning, but eventually, all fourteen of them were smiling and looking at the camera. After that, Katie insisted on getting lots of photos of different combinations of the girls, mostly with Andy, but sometimes without.
Andy wondered a little where the hell they were going to take the next one, when the house was finally filled out for good.