The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Game #17

“This might make you a little sleepy.”

But I’m already sleepy.

There was a sting on her arm. It burned. She tried to pull away.

“There’s no pain.”

It didn’t hurt. Her arm relaxed. She stared into the darkness, placid.

“In a moment you’re going to go even deeper into your cave. I know you’ve been going down for a long time, and you’re tired. It’s ok. Let the tiredness help take you down. This is the last descent.

“The walls close in and become a small room. The room is an elevator. The elevator is going to take you deeper.”

Maura didn’t know there was a deeper. She thought she was already at the bottom.

“There’s always a deeper.”

The voice kept doing that. It was like it could read her thoughts.

“Because you’re saying them out loud.”

It did it again.

“Because you’re still saying them out loud.” Lips smiled against her cheek, up by the ear. “I did that so if you resisted in any way, I’d know how and why. That way we can cut off any resistance at the source.”

Wow. That was really smart. She wasn’t sure she liked it in its current context, but it was really smart.

“Thanks. It was actually your idea.”

She didn’t remember that. But everything outside the cave was fuzzy anyway.

“I know you can’t remember. And the elevator is going to help you remember even less. Because each floor is an hour of the day, Maura. As you pass each one, leaving it behind, sinking below it, the memory of it will fade away.

“It’s pitch black except for the floor numbers; they glow red, like an alarm clock. The floor numbers are times of day. As it goes lower, past each hour, the memory of that time will vanish.”

Maura thought that maybe that was a bad idea. Didn’t a mind need memories?

“You don’t need those memories.”

She thought that maybe she begged to differ. She tried to get out.

“The doors won’t open. In fact, the doors vanish too. It’s just you, and the numbers, and the dark.”

Maura pounded on the walls. In the real world, she thrashed. She began to come back to her body. She was... in bed? Was that a bed? Her eyes wouldn’t focus. She fought to make her arms work; they flopped on the blankets, not listening. They didn’t have any strength. It was like trying to operate something by remote control, and the controls were backwards. The sheets were cool on the backs of her legs, her arms, her shoulder blades, her ass: she was naked.

Hands wrapped around her wrists, pressed them into the mattress, held her down. A woman’s hands. Her legs bunched up and kicked weakly. The woman was straddling her. She felt heat on her stomach, thighs against her sides.

“Ssh, don’t fight. Look at the numbers.”

Maura didn’t want to. Her vision started to clear. The room got brighter; color appeared, then shapes: blurry, half-seen blobs. One of the blobs became a woman. Maura tried to focus. She saw blonde hair, pale skin—

Her eyes rolled up. The light faded as the drug reached her brain.

“There we go. There’s my sleepy girl.”

She stopped struggling; she forgot how to. The world retreated. She went limp and then she was back in the elevator.

“Now look at the numbers.”

Her eyes went to them. They were the only thing to look at in the dark. They said 11:02.

“The numbers tick back to 10:00.”

The last 62 minutes of Maura’s life vanished forever.

Nothing much was happening at 10:00. She was in her cave; she’d always been there and always would be. Time didn’t exist. If it hadn’t been for the glowing red numbers, she wouldn’t have known what year it was, or what a year was. The clock ticked back again. Same thing at 9:00. She was time traveling—she wasn’t remembering 9:00, it was 9:00.

It ticked back to 8:00. That was a lot different.

She was lying in bed, looking up at a pen light. It was held by a pale, delicate hand, and Maura knew without looking that it belonged to her girlfriend. Jessica. Jess was speaking in low, confident tones, and Maura was trying not to smile. They were playing a game; the game was that Jess would try to hypnotize her.

The light moved to the left. Maura’s eyes followed it. She felt a neat little thrill at that—she hadn’t consciously made them follow it, they’d done that on their own. The thought of it sent a tickle down the back of her neck. The light moved back. Her eyes did it again. The little tickle grew, spreading down her back.

It was a fun game. Jessica spoke in that light, girlish voice of hers. Maura listened without listening. She was aware that her eyelids were drooping, and that gave her a thrill too. But it was dull, faraway this time: a caress through a thick sweater. The dullness and farawayness of it gave her a thrill too.

She saw only the light. The feeling grew. She became aware that she wasn’t smiling anymore; her face had gone slack just like the rest of her. Maura couldn’t remember the precise moment when that had happened, and that, that gave her a thrill too. Jess said something—

The clock ticked back. Wait, I was enjoying that. 8 became 7. She forgot what she’d been enjoying. It didn’t exist anymore. 7 became 6. 6 became 5.

They spooned in the dying light of the afternoon. Maura was behind, one arm wrapped around Jessica’s thin waist. Jessica was panting, trying to breathe, squirming and writhing. Her cheeks were beet red, her eyes squeezed tight shut; her eyebrows were knotted together like someone in extreme pain, except it wasn’t pain. Maura worked the buzzing device between the girl’s legs, teasing her.

Jessica moaned—little half-sounds came out of her mouth every time she breathed.

“Tonight’s the night,” Maura whispered into her ear.

“Not... oh shit, not now, we’ll—later—”

Maura pressed on the buzzing plastic—the girl’s hips arched back. Her ass pressed against Maura, hot and restless. They strained in the sweat and the dying light. Maura did it again.

Jessica’s arm snaked back and grabbed her by the hair. Maura’s face was pressed between the girl’s wrist, bicep, shoulder and neck. She reveled in the scent of the woman.

“Tonight.”

Jessica twisted her head and kissed her, shutting her up. Then the plastic moved again and she made the little noise into Maura’s mouth.

The clock began to tick back.

No, wait, I like this one—

It was gone. Maura felt a deep sense of loss, although she couldn’t remember why.

“The elevator is coming to a stop now. It is very quiet, and very still. In a moment it will start going back up. Listen closely, because, at each floor, you will have a new memory for that time. You will remember each one vividly. They will become real memories. They are real memories.”

She was kissed on the lips.

“I know you don’t remember, but, you wanted this.”

I did?

The voice said something. Even in the darkness, Maura’s eyes closed.

A nose ran up her neck; it brought Maura out of a daydream. Her eyes opened. Jess was behind her. They were spooning, and talking about—she couldn’t remember.

“Can I?” Jess asked. Oh. That. Jess wanted to try to hypnotize her.

“No.”

“Ok. But can I?”

Jessica bit her shoulder. Maura shrieked.

“Ow!”

“That didn’t hurt.” Lips smiled against the skin. No, it didn’t hurt.

Their bodies tangled together in the sheets. It was hard to tell where one ended and the other began, save for skin color: Jessica’s was a few shades lighter, a pale arm tucked beneath Maura’s. Maura smiled into the pillow. Lips trailed up her shoulder, sliding in the sweat, and came to rest in the hollow between her collar bone and neck.

It was a game they played: find a place on each other’s body that didn’t have a name, and name it.

“That’s your... neck dent.”

“It’s not a dent! That makes me sound like I’ve had a fender bender.”

“It’s a dent! You’re dented.” The lips traveled down the back of her arm, past the elbow, switched to the side of her stomach. The sensation made her muscles twitch. She lay on her side with the sheet bunched up between her legs, feeling the sweat drying and the gentle motion of the mattress as Jessica moved around.

There was a soft tug at her hips and she was rolled onto her back. She grinned at the ceiling, letting the girl do whatever she wanted. Jessica could do whatever she wanted. She was a magic thing; everything she did was a pleasant surprise, like that moment just before an idea that you know will be good. That’s what she was. She was that moment.

Jessica nibbled on a spot at the top of her leg—it was that spot in front, just below the hip, where a woman’s body folds when she draws her legs up. Maura sucked in a breath and felt her leg draw up at the touch. Jessica’s hand tickled the back of her thigh, nudging it up further.

“We need a name for this one,” Jessica breathed into the crease.

“Mm.”

The fingers followed the curve of her leg, trailing around to the inside. Maura’s hips made a little jerk.

“What should we call it?” Her voice was muffled as she talked into the skin.

“...dunno...” Maura’s eyes had closed. There was another nibble; her neck arched; her head sank into the pillow. Fingers walked up her leg and played in the soft mound of pubic hair.

“Can I?” Jessica asked her hip.

“Can we—talk about this—later?” Maura sucked in another breath as her legs were pushed open. Her left leg sank into the mattress as Jessica crossed over, the girl’s weight hot in the afternoon sun. Jessica’s stomach slid over her knee; thighs slid over her feet; breasts glided over Maura’s own thigh and then the weight was gone. Her other leg was drawn up then pushed down.

“I wanna talk about it now.” Jessica’s nose ran down her stomach. Maura felt a kiss on the little scar where her appendix had once been.

“...later—” Air hissed through her teeth. She squirmed; her head tossed sideways on the pillow. The linen was cool on her cheek.

She felt her body move loosely on the bed, side to side, as Jessica’s weight shifted. Jessica was climbing up her. Long, straw-colored hair dragged up her body, sometimes sticking in the sweat. She watched the freckled shoulders come at her: Jessica was that rare and wonderful thing that was a freckled blonde.

She stalked up Maura’s body, moving like a puma, a jungle cat: one shoulder would tense as it came forward, the weight resting on that arm: the other shoulder would relax and tilt back as the weight left it. Then it would repeat as she took another “step”. Maura’s body was drawn left, then right, then left, towards the indentations Jessica’s weight made in the bed.

Then they were face to face. Jessica leaned over her; their foreheads touched. The long hair fell about Maura’s cheeks and neck. She was looking up a hair-tunnel at her girlfriend.

“Now,” Jessica said.

“...we have to be on stage in fifteen minuh—” One of Jessica’s legs had found its way between hers. It pressed.

“Don’t care!”

“After the show. I promise. We’ll talk about it then.”

“Yeah, and you’ll say no.” Her teeth played at Maura’s lower lip, tugging.

“...o I on’t. I omise I’ll ink aout it.” It was hard to talk while lacking a lip.

Jessica let go.

“Ah ha! You promised! If I catch you thinking about anything else tonight, you’re dead, lady.”

“We have to get dressed.”

“I bet we can wait another ten minutes, then take two minutes getting dressed, one minute doing our hair, one minute doing makeup, forty-five seconds running to the stage, then still have fifteen seconds left over.”

That’s what they did.

Backstage, Maura peeked out from behind the curtain. Full house. She smoothed her suit. She had five of them, all identical, black, conservative, in a woman’s cut. On stage, it was the only thing she ever wore.

Jess, on the other hand, wore a cute little assistant’s outfit: black net hose, ridiculous heels, a dress that resembled a cocktail waitress’s: tight around the waist, puffing out high on the leg. She looked more like a magician’s assistant, but, people had come to be entertained, and entertaining was one word for that outfit. It was all a show, and Maura knew that, when people went “under” on stage, what was actually happening was more of an intense form of peer pressure than real hypnosis.

The house lights went down. They gave each other a little look. Jess winked—Maura tried not to smile. Showtime.

Maura walked out to applause and Jess followed, taking her place in back where the lights were dim. The eyes of the audience followed her. It wasn’t just the black fishnets; it was the goofy grin, the little piece of hair that always fell in front of her face, the way she stood. They’d learned from experience that if she didn’t stay way back, the audience would watch her the entire time.

There was another reason she always stood in back, though: there was no way Maura could work while looking at that. Nuh Uh. Nope. Especially since Jess always insisted on grinning at her every time she looked over. More than one show had almost ended early when she’d looked over and Jess had made a face.

Maura made with the speech about hypnosis: what it was, what it wasn’t.

“What it isn’t is this.” She walked over and waved her hand in Jessica’s face. “Sleep!” Jess pretended to faint dead away. The audience laughed. She managed to fall so that they could almost see her underwear, but not quite. Showbiz. Look at the pretty girl faint! You can see up her dress and she’s powerless to stop you! Tee hee.

“What it is is something we all do every day, all the time. It’s a natural state of the mind. When you’re driving in your car, maybe listening to the radio, and you—”

The audience was still laughing. She turned around. Jess hadn’t moved.

“Ahem. Jessica, you may get up now.”

Jess pretended not to hear. The audience laughed again. Maura walked over and shook her.

“Presto, you’re awake.”

Jess sat up, making a show of blinking and being dazed. Maura helped her to her feet, leaning in and whispering:

“Hey! I thought we agreed we would script your improv!”

“Oh my! I seem to have gotten the vapors. It was that dark-eyed woman. Thank you ever so much for stopping to help me.” She batted her eyelashes.

Maura prayed for a fire alarm to go off so they could get the hell out of there.

They went through the rest of the thing. Maura called people to the stage, spoke to them, some for a long time, some not. Jess stood behind them, ready. When Maura touched their foreheads and they tipped back, Jess caught them. She liked doing that part—she insisted on it.

But tonight, each time they fell, Jess snuck a glance at her and grinned.

Like that. I want to do that.

No.

An attractive young woman came up; her hair was in a ponytail; she wore a red blouse. Maura spoke to her for a long time then touched her forehead. Her eyes closed and she tipped back into Jess’s arms.

Hey, this one is cute.

Also no.

Like that. With you.

Jess leaned the girl back a little farther than normal. The motion caught Maura’s eye.

Come feel her, Maura. It feels really neat!

I can’t believe I ever let you out of the house, much less let you get on stage with me.

Ok, but, she’s soft.

Maura cut the show short that night. The audience didn’t notice. They’d seen what they came to see.

“Everyone please give a big hand to the volunteers!”

They clapped.

“And to my lovely assistant, Jessica.”

The house came down. Jess pretended to get the vapors again at the applause; she put a hand to her forehead and tottered. Maura rolled her eyes and propped her up. Jess tilted her head back and smiled.

To everyone else, it looked like well-scripted chemistry. They didn’t know that the actual script had been ditched about two minutes in. They didn’t know that if Maura let go, Jess really would drop to the floor, because Jessica never played at anything halfway.

They exited to applause.

“Hee! That was awesome. We’re doing that next show.” Jessica danced down the hall towards the green room.

“That was funny, but sweety, you need to be careful. Especially with what you did at the end there. I don’t want people to—” see my face when you do that thing with your legs “—pick up on too much chemistry between us.”

“Why not?”

“Because they came to see a hypnotist, not The Great Lesbodini and her sidekick MiniDyke.”

“Why ma’am, whatever are you implying? I get ever so confused when that dark-eyed woman looks at me. I think she may be a witch. Would you see me to my room?”

I’ll see you to your room all right.

She grabbed the girl by the waist and spun her against the wall. That black hose, and all the leg that came with it, wrapped around her.

“So can I?”

Jessica’s fingers walked up her arm.

“I said I’d think about it.”

“Yeah, you’re thinking of ways to say no.”

“Well yeah.”

They lay in bed, relaxing after the show. Maura was in her bathrobe; her hair was still damp from the shower.

“Give me one good reason why not.” Jessica played with the robe’s belt.

Because it makes me nervous in a way that I have a hard time defining.

“Because it feels too much like work, baby.”

“You wouldn’t be the one doing the work! I would! All you need to do is lie there, listen, and look cute. Which you’re already doing.” She tugged at the belt.

Because I like being the one in control, and you, I love you sweety, but you are the farthest from control that a person can get. It would be like giving a ferret the keys to the car.

And because what I do is stage hypnosis, and what you want to do is the real thing, and I don’t know much about the real thing.

“Because I don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t work.” That was true too. If Jess got any funny ideas—every time I say the words ‘ice cream salad’, you’ll have an orgasm!—then she’d have to fake it so Jess wouldn’t be disappointed, which would be no fun. She never had to fake it with Jess and she liked it that way.

“I’m so glad we got those lame excuses out of the way. Is it because you’re scared? Be honest.” Her hand snaked inside the robe; the palm was warm on Maura’s stomach. It rubbed in slow circles.

Yes.

“Don’t be silly,” Maura laughed. “I do it for a living, baby. It’d be a silly line of work to be in if I was.”

“But have you yourself ever been hypnotized?”

“Why are you so interested in it?” Maura laughed a little too loud.

“I dunno. I see you up there, every night, doing the thing. When they go under... the ones that really do... I dunno. I wonder what it’s like to be you right then.” She played with the linen thoughtfully.

Oh, shit. That’s her earnest face. She really does think about it a lot.

“Well that’s easy. I’m counting my paycheck.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Yeah, you didn’t.

“No.”

Jess’s eyes bugged out. The grin came back.

“Never? Really?”

“Never.”

“You’re a virgin! Ok, that settles it. When do you want to do it?”

Maura rolled her eyes. Jess leaned in and kissed her.

She’s never, ever going to give up. She’s like a... The hand trailed up and down under her robe. Something that doesn’t give up. Maura squirmed. She gets an idea in her head, like that time she decided you should try a bicycle built for two, and she doesn’t give up until you’re both lying in the bushes wrestling with the thing.

“That’s blackmail,” she looked at the hand.

“Uh huh.”

“You’re not going to quit, are you?”

“Hi, have we met?” The fingers traced shapes on her skin. Maura looked at her face. The freckles on the bridge of her nose stood out in the after-shower blush.

It’ll be fun, it’ll be fun, it’ll be fun.

“Ok. Just this once, because I know you have to watch me every night on stage and wonder what it’s like, and I know you’ve thought about it a lot, and you won’t shut up about it, ever, so just this once, and then I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Ok?”

“Yay!” She bounced off the bed and ran to the other room.

You’re not nervous. The Great Lesbodini does not get nervous when there’s no reason to be.

Jessica flitted back in and jumped on the bed. She was holding a pen light.

“Now, just lie back and relax. Like you already are. Never mind.”

“Promise me you won’t be disappointed if this doesn’t work out the way you think.”

“Uh huh.” She flicked the light on and shined it in Maura’s eyes. It moved back and forth, once. Maura’s eyes followed it. It clicked off.

Maura raised her eyebrows.

“What was that about?”

“Just testing something.”

She was testing whether your eyes would follow the light without being asked, and they did.

“That’s not something an amateur would know to do.”

“I read Hypnosis for Dummies. Shush.”

Maura studied her face. She looked so ridiculously, incredibly cute, sitting there with the yellow hair tucked behind her ears, still drying from the shower, and that goofy, eager grin. Oh, stop pretending to be a hardass. You’d follow her to the end of the earth and you know it.

She held up the light again. Maura’s eyes went to it—unintentionally, again. She smiled in spite of herself.

You’re ridiculous. Play along. She just wants to have fun. It’s all she ever wants to do.

“Oh gee, I do so love it when my girlfriend doesn’t have a look of abject terror on her face,” Jess kissed her cheek. Maura blushed.

The light came down suddenly and touched her nose. Maura’s eyes crossed as she tried to follow it. She laughed.

“Woops! My bad.”

Smartass.

The light moved back to where she could see it again. Her eyes focused as it moved back to a seeable distance. She got a little chill out of the way they did that, all on their own.

But a stillness settled over her, too. It was strange. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Jess hadn’t even done anything yet. Maura anticipated the next movement, ready to follow it, but instead it turned and shined directly into her eyes. Little spots floated around on the back of her vision.

She had the sensation again. That’s the feeling of being the passenger instead of the driver. So that’s why it feels so weird. It crept down the back of her neck. The knowledge that it was creeping down the back of her neck made it creep down her back.

“Wake up, sleepyhead!”

“Huh?”

“Did I wake you up too fast? Are you all loopy?”

Maura looked at her.

“My girlfriend has finally lost it. I knew that assistant’s outfit was too tight.”

Maura looked at her closer. She was wearing the assistant’s outfit.

“When did you put that on?”

“Couple hours ago. I wanted to feel like I was on stage, and you were out of it, so I thought, what the hell.”

“A couple of hours,” Maura laughed. “Sweety, I don’t know what—” Her eyes went to the clock. It read 12:40. AM. When they’d come out of the shower it had been around 8. “Did you do something to the clocks?”

“Shit, you are loopy. I did that wrong. I’m sorry. You’re supposed to make people imagine that they’re little bubbles, underwater, rising to the surface as you count, or something like that.”

“You better stop talking in riddles, blondie.”

“Thanks so much for doing that for me.” Jessica fell on her and hugged her. The corset made her stomach feel tight against Maura’s. “I dunno if you were faking it or not, but thank you.”

Maura tried to sit up, but she was covered in a girl blanket. Something was not right.

“Also, I tied you up.”

She looked down. Her arms weren’t there. She looked up. Her wrists were tied to the bedpost.

Her body jerked in an automatic response to the sight of itself bound. She tried to get up; she couldn’t. The rope dug into her wrists and the girl blanket was heavy.

“Jess, what the fuck—“

“Kidding! I’m kidding, baby. Look up. You’re not tied up.”

Maura looked up. There was no rope.

There was no rope.

She did it.

Jessica kissed her.

“Jess, what’s going on.”

“You said you didn’t want to know.” Jessica kissed her again. A fishnet leg dragged up her.

“What didn’t I want to know?” Her heart did a little flip as it searched for the lost time and didn’t find it.

Four hours, you were out for over four hours. It wasn’t some parlor trick.

“Calm down, baby. It’s ok, just relax. You said you’d freak out. I asked you what you wanted to do. You were really specific.”

“Wait, you asked me while I was under?”

“Uh huh.” She kissed up the side of Maura’s face to her ear. The cut of the dress made her upper body look sculpted.

“Sweety, you can’t ask someone... important stuff when they’re like that. They’re not thinking right. You don’t know the rules. That’s my fault, I should have talked to you about it first.” What was she doing for over four hours? That’s not a two minute stage trance. That’s... Maura didn’t know what that was. Doctors don’t even keep people under that long, and they weren’t doctors. Maura herself only had only taken a class and gotten a certificate.

“You said you’d say that. You know yourself really well!” Teeth pulled at her earlobe. Lips were warm below the ear.

“Jess, I’m freaking out a little here. Tell me what I said. I want to remember it.”

“You said you’d say that too.”

“I did?”

“Uh huh. And you said what I should do if you did.”

“What did—”

Jessica touched the back of her neck. A hand made of almost-touches reached into her mind and squeezed.

Maura blinked. Jessica was above her; their foreheads touched. Those sea-blue eyes smiled down, inches away.

“What were we just talking about?”

“You think too much, Foggy.”

A white mist filled Maura’s vision. Her mind fogged over.

She couldn’t think. Every time she tried the thought would get tangled up, turned around; it would flail around in the ether then wink out, the ember of a cigarette as it’s flicked into a puddle in the dark.

Jessica threaded their fingers together and pressed down against her. Maura felt her hands squeeze back. She sucked in a breath. She was being pressed between soft and soft.

She had the bizarre sensation of feeling it twice—first on her body, then she felt the feeling of it in her mind. It was real, a physical thing. It was ten thousand feathers on her mind. Her mouth opened but she couldn’t form a sentence.

Why can’t I (wink)

What did you do to (wink)

The thoughts winked out, one by one. Jessica used her hips to nudge the robe open.

You feel like ten thousand (wink)

Jessica whispered something into her mouth.

She became a reactionary thing. She felt her teeth bite at Jessica’s lip. She tried to get up; she wanted to tear that silly dress off and feel the woman underneath it, but Jessica put her weight on her hands and they sank into the pillow, above her head, and then Jessica whispered something else. She felt something tighten around her wrists, and then Jessica let go, but her own hands wouldn’t move: smooth silk cords had wrapped around her wrists and held them to the pillow.

Jessica crawled down her. Maura tried to catch the girl between her legs but she couldn’t; Jess straddled her and slipped off to the side.

She fought with the ropes, but even they felt like they were kissing her wrists—she had some deja vu about the rope, something—the thought winked out. Jessica creeped lower, doing something with her mouth that felt like a gestalt in a daydream and made her neck turn to water.

She felt Jessica pass her hips and she twisted to the side; her legs darted out and she caught the girl by the shoulders, between her knees—gotcha!(wink). Jessica laughed as she was pulled over, but Maura only thought

Girl on legs feels good(wink)

and Jessica said something like

“Easy baby, you’re gonna smoosh me!”

but Maura barely heard it and even if she had, she couldn’t think because girl on legs feels good. She wrapped her calves around and felt the muscles in Jess’s back, but then Jess said another word and her legs turned to rubber and she couldn’t remember how to work them. The muscles worked but the direction was unpredictable; it was like trying to roll a bowling ball uphill using a pool cue.

Jessica crouched down, taking the legs with her. Maura writhed.

Her mind formed shorter and shorter thoughts, trying to finish just one, but they all faded, and what was left was a tangled jungle of images and half-thoughts.

Her arms feel like(wink)

Was that(wink)

(wink)over(wink)

(wink)vanilla(wink)

They built up, not resolving; they crowded together, tickling the edges of her mind, trying to get out; they revolved around each other, linking and unlinking, a growing, multicolored sphere that pressed on her mind. Then she felt Jess’s nose trace across her bush, and

tongue

Her back arched; the sphere shattered into a million pieces, then reformed in fragments that made even less sense. Jessica’s hand on her stomach guided her back down. Her muscles twitched and shivered.

She felt Jessica’s cheek on her thigh (girl, skin, wink); then a kiss;

something was building in her chest—it felt like the moment before an itch, and then

tongue

and the sphere of nonsense almost-thoughts exploded, and she felt her eyes roll up, her body lock up, her hips twist up, and then everything let go.

Jessica was talking to her, trying to bring her back. She didn’t want to come back. She wanted to go to sleep. But Jessica kept talking.

Her eyes opened. Those sea-blue eyes smiled down at her.

“How ya feelin?”

Maura mumbled something that wasn’t a word. Her eyes closed again. Jess tickled her eyelashes until the sensation made them open.

Her arms were still above her head, but there was no rope. She had the vague recollection that there had never been any rope. She drew them down and tucked them under the pillow, feeling the linen on her arms. The robe was gone. She didn’t wonder where it went.

“...can’t work my legs...”

“Oh, yeah. I had to do that, sorry. I thought you were gonna strangle me with ‘em!” She touched each of Maura’s knees, once. They could move again.

“...Jess, how did you do that?”

“We can talk about it in the morning. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t in a coma or something before we went to bed.” Jessica kissed her. “There’s more to do, but right now, you need your rest.”

There’s more to do?

“What do you—”

“Good night, sleepyhead.” A finger touched her forehead.

Maura’s eyes closed.

Fear and Self Loathing in Las Vegas

Maura dreamed, and remembered the night she’d met Jessica. They’d met at a show; Jess had been in the audience.

She asked for volunteers and Jess jumped out of her chair with her hand in the air, waving it back and forth. Maura cracked up, right there under the lights, in the middle of her speech, and invited her up. Jess wore a little black dress, and she didn’t just walk to the stage—she slunk up there, never taking her eyes off of Maura, grinning all the way.

She was a great subject, except she didn’t really go under. Maura realized it when she got to the part where she leans the person back.

Jess leaned too far, falling into Maura on purpose, and the littlest smirk crossed her face. Maura almost dropped her: the girl was flirting with her, in front of a crowd of fifty, and it was working. She laughed and the audience never knew why. They acted out the rest of the show, both of them pretending that Jessica was hypnotized.

After the show Jess found her, and the conversation went like this:

“So, can I come backstage?”

“I’m sorry, the audience isn’t allowed.”

“Ok. I should probably go around the back way then, huh?”

Maura had laughed like she’d done so many times since then, and that had been that.

She drifted into another dream where it was morning, and the sun was slanting through the window, and Jessica was whispering to her. Jess stroked her hair and spoke in soft tones, but—Maura couldn’t hear what she was saying. The words became gibberish in her ears. Then there was a kiss on her cheek and her eyes closed.

Her eyes opened. It was morning; the sun slanted through the window. She looked at the alarm clock for a long time. It was after 10.

She got up and padded towards the living room. Halfway there it occurred to her that she should put something on; then she couldn’t find her robe; then she realized that she was already wearing her robe; then it occurred to her that she hadn’t been wearing anything when she went to sleep the night before; then she forgot about it in the just-woken haze.

The apartment—which was actually a deluxe suite that they stayed in for free while performing at the hotel—was empty. She rubbed her head. It had that tight and dry feeling, like a hangover, except she was pretty sure they hadn’t drank last night. They’d stayed in, and—

Oh, right. That. She blushed. It came to her in a rush that was first warm in the optimism of the morning, then cold as she remembered her lack of control. She looked around, paranoid that someone might see her thinking about it.

Then she remembered the blank spots—or rather, didn’t remember them—and the cold came back.

There was just nothing. Not even a sense of time passing. It had been like a drugged sleep, like anesthesia. Jess had held up the light, then it had been over four hours later, without so much as a bump in the time flow.

But that feeling she’d got as she went from driver to passenger in her own body—

A little thrill ran down the back of her neck as she thought of it. She leaned against the kitchen counter, suddenly out of breath. She had goose bumps. She gaped at herself, at the little hairs standing up on her arm.

Those are not your scared goose bumps. Those are the other kind.

She glared at the skin, willing the sensation to stop. It did, eventually, but it took a while. Then she thought about the light again, that soft sense of disconnection, and that feeling that was so hard to place—that last part, the one she couldn’t out her finger on, that was the one that really—the tingle came back, a blue electric thrill. It ran down her back.

Her legs felt strange. She knew that feeling. That’s why you’re leaning against the counter. Your body knew it was coming before you did. The feeling was that tiniest bit of weakness that always happened before—

Stop thinking about it!

She did, but her legs didn’t.

She stared hard at the counter, because her legs were not doing that thing that they did right before she got wet. They weren’t because that would be stupid. She could think about it all she wanted, and maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could remember that moment when her eyelids had started to droop—

The goosebumps took the strength out of her knees. She clung to the counter top.

She’d watched the light, enjoyed how her eyes had moved on their own; Jessica spoke in low, steady tones, and then right before her eyelids had drooped:

Into the passenger seat.

She slid down until her nose touched the granite. Her breath made little clouds on the polished surface. She couldn’t remember anything past that point.

And maybe you should stop remembering that point.

That was a good idea, except there was no good reason why thinking about... that, should make her body do... that. None. There was nothing erotic about it. It wasn’t the shape of a woman’s body against a window or a kiss on the neck. It wasn’t a massage or that smell of Jessica when they lay sweating in the sheets. It was just—

She caught herself before she thought it again.

Nice try, brain!

There. She’d stopped it. Not enough to, say, try to move yet, but enough to keep from cascading to the floor like a woman-shaped slinky. She regarded the black granite.

Good, you didn’t think about it for five seconds. But what’s going to happen when that just pops into your head while you’re, say, driving? Or at the grocery store?

“Mommy, what’s wrong with that woman?”

“Well dear, if I had to guess, she has what I call Mother’s Little Helper under that skirt of hers, and she accidentally turned it on.”

No, she was going to have to face it, break it down. It was just a reaction to not being in control, because she was such a control freak. She’d never felt it because she never let herself and now she was and this is how it manifested. Perfectly normal. Healthy, even.

There. She could get up now. That was how psychology worked, right? Once you figure out the source, you can get past it.

As she straightened up, her breast grazed the corner of the counter.

She slithered to the floor, shaking as her legs folded against each other.

Ok, maybe not.

She held herself, leaning against the cabinets.

Fuck it.

She let it happen. She saw the light—felt the gentle not-thereness build, like cotton pressing on her mind—heard Jessica’s words become sounds without meaning—felt her eyelids sink to half mast—

She got into the passenger’s seat.

Her lips parted and she shuddered quietly on the kitchen floor.

“Oh my god, I totally didn’t answer my phone just now! Are you someone I hate?”

Beep.

“Jess, I need to talk to you right away. As soon as you get this.”

Maura hung up. She lay on her back, breathing, her eyes focused somewhere near the ceiling.

Luckily, you’re wearing the one thing in your wardrobe that’s designed to get wet.

She didn’t try to get up. Not yet. She was still on the verge. Couldn’t try to move. Something would end up touching something else and then she’d be down there all day.

That actually didn’t sound like such a bad idea. She smiled at herself.

I think The Great Lesbodini probably looks pretty ridiculous right now.

She wondered what would happen if she could remember past that point—past the faraway feeling (she had a twinge, held it back)—and to whatever the rest was (twinge, back). Would she end up drooling on the kitchen floor until Jessica found her?

She entertained the idea just enough to let it give her another tingle. But no. The Great Lesbodini does not drool on the kitchen floor. She held onto that thought and got up.

Jess couldn’t know about this. Because Jess... Jessica didn’t know what boundaries were. She thought inhibition was the thing that started the car. If Jess found out, she faced the very real prospect of not being let out of bed for days.

That didn’t sound like such a bad idea either. She pulled on her “don’t look at me” pants, a baggy shirt, and headed out.

But no. Jess was just crazy enough to use it on stage, just for a laugh. Maura would walk out... do the part where she explains it to the audience... then she’d blink, and she would be the one lying on the floor, and her crotch would be wet. Jessica was just crazy enough to do something like that. She wouldn’t let the audience see Maura get turned on for real—that’d cross over into not funny, even for Jess—but the rest, yeah, she’d do.

And her other random ideas. Maura could hear it now: “Ohmygod, baby, we should go to Spain!” “Um, no.” Then Maura would blink, and they’d be in Spain. Which would be fun, but she had a job to keep and bills to pay. Jess didn’t quite connect with those things.

She trusted Jess to make her laugh; she didn’t trust her to remember to go to the bank every Friday. She trusted her to be honest and be there when she was in a shitty mood; she didn’t trust her to remember to change the oil every 3,000 miles. She didn’t trust her to feed the fish, because last time, Jess had forgotten, and all the fish had died.

And a human being was a little bit more responsibility than a fish.

No, last night had been fun in a way, but it couldn’t happen again, especially if she would end up drooling on the kitchen floor the next day. It’d still been scary, and she was still missing four hours. That wasn’t a playing block of time. That was one sixth of a day.

She took the elevator down and walked out into the Vegas sun.

This morning, when you dreamed you heard her voice... what if she was doing it then, too? Without you even knowing it.

Ah, nuts. And she’d been doing so well. She had a sensation that was somewhat like putting one hand in a cup of ice water and the other into a hot tub. The cold was stronger that time. The idea made her nervous. Wasn’t possible anyway. That’d mean she’d gone into the passenger’s seat without choosing to.

She pictured it: Jess leaning over with that skin, those arms and that hair. Maybe startling her awake, maybe whispering something that put her back to sleep. Falling limp while that nose tickled her ear and that girlish voice said things that she couldn’t remember. Not possible, but still—

Maura flipped open her phone and pressed the girlfriend button.

Pick up, pick up.

Jess answered.

“My girlfriend is calling me on my telephone!” she squeaked. “Technology is cool.” Wind blew against the mic.

“Where are you?”

“Almost home. I bought a ton of fruit. It’s a stupid amount of fruit. We got peaches, peaches in a can, peaches in a jar, papaya in a jar, pineapple in a jar—”

“Jess—”

“Mandarin—”

“Jess!”

“Mandarin—”

“Let me talk!”

“Stop interrupting while I’m trying to say mandarin oranges!”

“Ok. Say it.”

“Mandarin oranges. That was kind of anticlimactic.”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be home in ten minutes. There’s strawberries too.” She hung up.

You can’t kill her, she’s the only one that knows how to make the DVD player work.

She pushed through the doors of the corner coffee shop. The temperature was 20 degrees lower in the shade. She ordered a small coffee, then stared at the wall while the teenage girl behind the counter made it.

“Two fifty-nine.”

Maura pulled the bills out of her wallet, but something was tucked between them: a piece of paper, folded. She turned it over. There was writing on it:

Don’t read this unless you’re at home and alone!

It was her own handwriting.

What the fuck.

She opened it. There were no words, just a little symbol, drawn in black ink—it looked like an @ with a line through it.

Maura felt like she’d been hit by a tranquilizer dart. She had the actual sensation of fleece wrapping around her head, her eyes, her ears—then her mind—and cutting everything else out. The counter, the girl, the cash register all got farther away without moving.

The symbol hovered in front of her eyes, then sank out of her field of vision. She realized, dimly, that that was because her arm had dropped to her side. She swayed. Her lungs let out a breath as her chest loosened.

“Ma’am?” The girl behind the counter’s voice was as light as tissue paper. Her perfume made Maura’s eyes want to roll up. “Ma’am?”

She felt pressure on her stomach—it was the counter. She was drooping against it, forming to it like play dough, falling. Her head tilted to the side. It was too heavy to hold up.

A hand was on her elbow. The girl.

“Maybe you should sit down.”

“Mmkay.” Her mouth felt like she’d had novocaine.

The girl’s hand was a soft, uncertain pressure. She was turned right, guided to a table. Her legs seemed to work well enough—when someone was guiding her. On her own, she would have been a woman shaped puddle by then. The girl’s other hand, on her lower back, moved her along.

I bet she’s a good dancer, the way she moves you around like that. That was her first—and only—clear thought.

Maura was sat in a chair. She looked at the table. The table was impassive. There was another voice.

“Is she in shock or something?”

“I don’t know.”

“Should we maybe call a doctor?”

“Hang on.” The girl kneeled beside her. Maura could tell because the voice had become ear-level. “Can I use your phone?”

“Mmmhmm.” Maura’s hand held it out. Hm, so she could move. The girl took the phone. Her hand dropped back to her side and dangled. Or not.

“That blonde woman who always comes in with her, I bet she’s in here.”

“How do you know her name?”

“Because she actually talks to me. This one,” Maura imagined the girl’s thumb pointing to her, “just hands me the money. Jessica, that’s the one.” Three beats as the girl dialed.

“Hi, Jessica? You don’t really know me, I work at the coffee shop that you come to every day. Yeah, Marcy. I didn’t know I was the cute one, but thanks. Heh.

“Your friend, the one you’re usually with, is here... ok, your girlfriend... she’s here, and, I think something’s wrong. Well, she was standing at the counter and she just kinda froze and stopped responding. She was reading a note or something.

“Right now? Staring straight ahead. Yeah, exactly like that. I brought her to a table. If you ask her a direct question she’ll answer, but, she doesn’t seem to be able to do anything on her... ok. Ok. Got it. No problem.”

The girl kneeled again. “Your girlfriend is going to be right down.”

“What’d she say?” The other voice was young, male.

“She said to not let anyone talk to her, and—she said this part like three times—do not, under any circumstances, say anything to her that sounds like an order.”

Maura didn’t think anything.

A few minutes later she heard Jess’s voice and felt hands on her arms. She was walked out of the shop, into the sun, down the block, into the hotel. Jess talked quietly to her the whole time. Then they were in their apartment. She was laid on the bed.

She blinked. Jess was stroking her hair.

“You back?”

Maura looked at her. I think so.

“We’re stopping the game now. That scared me. You must have left a trigger for yourself, in a note. You probably thought it would be a fun way to freak yourself out, but that was actually really dangerous.”

“Jess, what’s going on?” Jessica’s face was worried. It didn’t look right on her.

“A couple of weeks ago, you came to me and asked me to do this. You’d been going on about how much of a control freak you are, and how you wished you could just stop. You wanted me to hypnotize you into not having any control. That in itself might have been fun for a night, but, you wanted to take it further.

“You wanted to believe that you were being taken by force, against your will, while it was happening. You said it would be like a game, but, I could tell you were dead serious about it. I said no. It worried me. Then you brought home something you’d got from some friend in the business, a hypnotic drug. You said that’d make it more real. Then I really said no.”

That really is something you’d do, too.

“We fought about it. More than once. You got angry. You said that if I wouldn’t do it, you’d find someone who would. And there are a lot of people out there with the tools and the knowledge to do that, especially to someone who is willing. Not all of them are good people. Some of them are bad.

“You said you’d go to one of the bad ones on purpose.” Her eyes got faraway, misty. She didn’t look like Jess when she looked like that. Maura wished she’d stop. You really are a bitch sometimes, self. “You thought you deserved it. You can be really cruel to yourself sometimes.”

“Yeah, well.”

“No, seriously. You can be really, really, harsh and critical with yourself. I wish you wouldn’t.”

“That’s how you get better at what you do.”

“Maybe.” The room was bright with noon sun. The clouds on Jessica’s face cleared a little. “So I said yes, to keep you from doing that.

“All of that missing time, that was me reinforcing things. I gave you the drug you’d brought—needles freak me out, but you said it was the only way to use that particular stuff. Then I put you under again after you thought you went to sleep. Then again this morning.

“There were only a few triggers, but we really drilled them in. There’s the pen light—if I hold it up, you can’t help but look at it and listen. There’s F-o-g-g-y, because you said you think too much.”

Maura laughed. “I know what that spells, you know.”

“Yeah, but I can’t say it, else you’ll, you know. And there are a couple others—that little symbol you saw in the coffee shop, which, by the way, I still have no idea how that got into your wallet. Doesn’t matter, we’re going to get rid of all of them.”

Her voice dropped a notch.

“I considered... while I was in there, and directing what you thought... I almost just made you forget the whole thing, so I could keep you as you, just without that one fantasy that you couldn’t let go of. But it’s a part of you and it would have occurred to you again, somewhere down the road. Maybe we wouldn’t even be together anymore. And that would be bad, because then you’d be in trouble.”

Maura took the pale hand. “You’re too good to me, lady.”

“Yeah, well, shut up, I don’t do sappy well.”

“See, we do have things in common.”

“My biggest worry about it—and, this is selfish, but it’s true—was how you’d inevitably not trust me. It’s a lot to swallow. That was one of your worries too, so, you made a tape beforehand.” Jess handed her a DVD. “It’s kind of funny that you were more worried about not trusting me than you were of losing control of your mind. You’re weird.”

“I do trust you.”

“I betcha there were a few times over the past day that you didn’t.”

“Well. I mean, I was, let’s call it skittish, once or twice...”

“You were adamant about this part, though—you wanted to watch the tape, before we were done—just to be sure, so there’d be no doubt. And you wanted to watch it alone. You insisted on that part.” She leaned in to kiss Maura’s cheek. Maura turned and took it on the lips instead. “So I’m gonna go out for a while, while you watch. When I get back we can finish this up. K?”

“K.”

Jessica got up, but hovered in the doorway.

“I won’t go far. Call me if you need me. I’ll keep it on my hip, like the Batphone.”

“Go,” Maura smiled.

Maura popped in the DVD and sat on the bed. An image of herself appeared on screen. It reached over the camera, adjusted it. Then TV Maura sat on the bed, in exactly the same spot real Maura was sitting now. It was eerie. The Mauras looked at each other.

“Hi, me!” TV Maura said. “The camera adds ten pounds, so don’t run out and weigh yourself. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

“You’re probably feeling a little weird right now.” She grinned at herself. “I wish I could be there to feel it. Well, I am, but you know, right now.

“The first thing I want to say is shame on you, because you didn’t trust Jess. Really, me, you’re the moon and stars to her. She loves you, and I’m really not sure why most of the time. So shame on you.

“But that was kind of inevitable—if she did it right—so we made this. Actually, that was only one reason. There was another, that we didn’t tell her about.” She winked.

“Jess is a softy at heart. She’s a kind soul. I knew that, even though I drilled it into her head for weeks that she couldn’t stop the game, she would anyway, as soon as she saw you get scared. Women, right? And the fact that she showed you this means she’s about to stop it.

“But we’re not stopping the game, because it isn’t a game. Jess may play at everything, but you—me—we’re deadly serious, aren’t we? We don’t play at anything. That’s what I hate about you.”

It was true. Of course it was—it was her saying it. She did hate herself a little bit, sometimes. A lot other times.

She realized as she watched that, when she’d recorded it, that had been one of the other times.

“That’s why I made sure Jess had you watch this alone. So we could have some quality time, just you and me.”

Oh, shi-

She was on her feet, diving for the stop button. She realized, too late, what she was about to do.

The Maura on screen held up a pen light and said something. The Maura in real life heard it, saw it, froze. She saw nothing else. She couldn’t move, even her eyes. She stood like a statue in front of the bed, where she’d started the sprint.

“Uh uh. I knew you’d try that. I’m you, stupid. Unless you’re just sitting there on the bed with a blank look on your face right now. But I’m pretty sure you just tried to shut this off.

“Sit down.”

Maura sat down. Her eyes stayed on the light. There was nothing else.

“I wish I could be there to watch you struggle. To feel it. I never got to feel it. You wouldn’t let me. You had to be in control of everything, all the time. Even in bed, with Jess, you’re on guard. You don’t even really let go when you have an orgasm. You start to, but then there’s a little thing in the back of your head, holding the string, and it keeps you from going too far.”

There was motion in the corner of the screen. Maura caught it out of the corner of her eye, but she couldn’t look directly at it. Her eyes stayed on the light. Was it—was that a needle?

“This is what Jess gave you last night. I told her it was a mild hypnotic, used in therapy. But I think we know each other better than that, right? That’s some hardcore shit in there. Think The Manchurian Candidate.

“That’s why this is working so well. Sure, she hypnotized you for a good long time—then reinforced it—then again, this morning—but this, this is the magic of it. I bet you had a lot of fun earlier today.” Maura in real life caught a little motion on screen—it was TV Maura smirking.

“And I think you’ll find that you have some of it in your pocket. A hell of a bigger dose than Jess gave you last night. Go ahead, check.”

Maura’s hand went to her pocket. There was a syringe.

“You can’t look down, but trust me, it’s full—no few milliliters like last night.”

Why do you have to hate yourself? Why can’t you be normal?

Normal people do hate themselves, a little, most of them. They just don’t have to take it as literally as you’re about to.

“Take the cap off.”

Maura tried to stop herself. It was like she wasn’t even there (funny, because there were actually two of her there). Her muscles weren’t listening to her. Or, alternatively, they were.

“Roll up your sleeve and hold your arm out. In a moment your eyes will leave the light and go to your arm—but, I think you’ll find that now, no matter where you look, you’ll still see the light. Do it now.”

She looked down, and it was true: she saw the point of the light right in front of her eyes, and beyond it, her arm, wrist up.

“You can try to fight—I really, really hope you do. I already know everything you’d try. I prepared for it. I’ve been preparing for it for a long time. But even so—I couldn’t take this last step. I’d always stop right before the needle went in. I couldn’t do it.

“We had to trick ourselves, precious.” TV Maura cackled.

Put it down—leave the room—stop listening— It was like she wasn’t even connected to her hand, to anything.

You really are a heartless bitch sometimes. But not to anyone else, right? Never Jess. She’s your sunshine. There’s only one person in the world you would do this to.

“Do it.”

There was a little sting, then a light burning as the syringe emptied into her vein.

“Now look back at the screen and the light.”

The syringe dropped out of her hand. Her eyes locked on to the light.

She wished she could see TV Maura’s face.

“I wish I could see your face.”

Gee, it’s like we’re related.

The light was everything. She counted the seconds, waiting for the drug to reach her brain, willing her hand to move, just a few inches, enough to press Jess’s number on the phone. It wouldn’t. Maura’s body sat placidly while her mind thrashed.

“I’d say it was nice knowing you, but a lot of the time, it really wasn’t.”

I hate you.

The chemical reached her brain. Maura flopped over, limp. Her upper body bounced once on the bed, then settled.

“Maura? Baby?” A hand patted her cheek.

“Hm.”

“There you are, Jesus. You ok?”

“Mmhm.”

“What happened? I couldn’t wake you up. At first I thought that maybe one of those symbols was left around the house somewhere, but, if it was a trigger I should have been able to wake you right up.”

“Dunno. Got tired.” Still tired.

“You watch the thing? What did you say?”

“Don’t remember.”

“It must have been something you didn’t like.” She held up a chunk of charred plastic. “Unless you’ve burned other DVDs in the kitchen sink recently. Was it Evita? I could understand that.”

Maura’s eyes focused. She studied Jessica’s eyes, the map of freckles across the bridge of her nose, the golden hair tucked behind one ear, the little creases that would be laugh lines someday.

So, what did you do to yourself? She didn’t feel any different, just tired, but that was the after effects of the drug.

“C’mon, get up. I rented Groundhog Day. I know if there’s any guy in the world you’d do, it’s Bill Murray.”

Maura sat bolt upright. The words get up thrummed through her, a physical force. She felt it, up the backs of her arms and her neck. She hadn’t meant to sit up. Her ears had heard the order—even though Jess hadn’t meant it to be an order, it was phrased as one—and her body had reacted instantly.

A sensation tickled down her sides, like velvet hands, to her hips; then over the tops of her legs, then between. Her insides felt warm.

She was wet.

Oh. That’s what you did. She thought it dully, not surprised.

The warmth grew.

You made yourself obey orders, and you made yourself really, really like it when you do.

Why did you have to be a control freak with such a keen sense of irony?

Jessica gave her a look.

“You look like you just remembered that the building is on fire.”

“Jess, this is going to sound silly, but tell me to do something.”

“Is this another game?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Like Simon Says? Ok. Um, touch your nose?”

Maura’s hand flew to her nose. Below the belt, she shivered. She felt her face flush.

Well, this is one way to get over being a control freak.

Jess narrowed her eyes. They knew each other’s blushes, what each kind of blush meant. She leaned closer.

“Ok, Kinky. Kiss me.”

Maura felt herself lean into the woman. Jessica’s lips were hot; she tasted like peaches. Maura heard herself whimper; the sensation in her hips twisted, rolled, pulled. Jessica laughed, but not at that—Maura’s finger was still on her nose.

“You can put your hand down.”

The hand dropped to the bed.

“Lie back.”

Her body dropped back against the mattress. She hadn’t even checked if her head would have hit the headboard. The order hadn’t been to check if it was safe first. The order had been to lie back. Maura had lain back.

You should probably explain this to Jess. If she accidentally says the wrong thing—

Jess leaned over her.

“You’re good at this. I like this game better.”

I fried my brain, Jess.

Jessica kissed her, and said into her mouth: “Unbutton your pants.”

Her hands did the work in record time. They were professional unbuttoners. She writhed. There had been no order not to writhe. Her body became serpentine. Jessica’s hand snaked in.

“Feel this.”

She would have screamed, but she couldn’t breathe.