The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

1.

I’d known Jason since we were kids and I’d always admired him.

My admiration began with the way he looked. I always just enjoyed seeing him. He was a scrawny kid at the pool in the summertime, but lithe. He was adorable.

When I think of him now, as I remember him during the summer, many years ago, when we were both seven, I can still see him as we undressed in the bungalow our families shared in Rockaway. He looked, stretching himself out of his little wet speedo, like nothing so much as a plucked chicken.

In his early teens he was smart and snappy, dressed sharp, got into gym and working out as well as folk music – he taught himself guitar -- film noir, the Marquis de Sade, differential calculus, Nietzsche, and automobile engines.

What was really beautiful is that he allowed me to love him. He was glad to accept it, didn’t push me away, and when I looked at him with wondering eyes, he just grabbed me by the shoulder and horsed around for a minute, and then he’d smile in the friendliest way, and I didn’t feel the least bit ashamed for showing my devotion.

I’m always at ease with him except that I feel excitement shaking inside me like I do with no one else. He’s noticed it. And he doesn’t hold it against me.

He’d go nuts if he couldn’t accept love, cause he’s a guy that everybody’s crazy about, and he even can stay friends with girls who are dying for him but he won’t sleep with them.

2

We were in Butler library. We were seventeen. It was after ten, and the place was relatively empty. I’d managed to read all of Mill’s On Liberty and I was thinking about the various possible extents and limits of human responsibility. I didn’t get anyplace solid in my thought, just spacey, floating and feeling like I was thinking.

Suddenly I heard fingers snap in front of my face and I saw Jason grinning. He’d just finished an assignment in differential calculus. If I had just had to squeeze my brain into that mold for two hours, I would not have been smiling.

Where are you, Buddy?

I’m thinking about the limits of social responsibility and how you determine how much control any person can put on another, or an abstract group, like society, on the individual.

Did anyone ever tell you that you lose yer bloom when you think.

Cut the shit I said, laughing at how beautifully he could move me from one place to another without even noticing it.

Aren’t you tired of calculus already? I said.

Let’s get some coffee.

And stay up all night?

Don’t worry.

Well, when Jason says don’t worry, you don’t worry.

3.

I couldn’t get enough of him. I suppressed my sexual desire in order to be able to keep being with him. He didn’t mind how I felt, but still I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by putting him in the awkward position of feeling like demands were being made on him, or of seeming like he was rejecting me. Most of the time it worked. I forgot about how much I wanted him and just enjoyed being with him the way we were. I forgot my sexual desire, or maybe it lingered as a bass figure giving greater resonance to whatever we did.

I had become like an anorexic. Something else was more important to me than eating.

Oh, but in my secret heart, I wanted him to long for me as much as I longed for him. I idolized him, and I wanted him to sanctify that feeling, not just accept it.

I started to scheme.

I’d always been turned on by hypnotism. You will do as I say. Since I’m a kid.

I wanted him, that way. And I began to think he wanted me like that, too, but he wasn’t able to get in touch with that feeling and see himself feeling that way. I knew that was true. I had to get him to acknowledge it.

I still idolized him. Even more. Just because he had that failing. He was holding himself back. I could help him. I’d use myself, use myself, for him, not for myself. I would serve him. I’d bring him out, bring him closer to me, make him grateful to me the way I felt grateful to him just for looking at me.

I went on scheming.

4.

The wake trailed behind the ferry. The sky was clear. Jason was pulling Amy close to him. They were exchanging little pecking kisses like birds and staring lost in each other’s eyes.

I saw this, but I didn’t look long. My thoughts were absorbed in formless longing which breasted and flattened like the waves around the boat.

Staten Island is always disappointing and we went right back to Manhattan. The trip was rendered hilarious when a pigeon landed on a woman’s hat. We assured each other we actually had seen it. The pigeon landed on her hat and she flinched and it whizzed away with a flump of its feathers.

5.

She didn’t treat him nicely when he was dying.

We were sitting in a café near South Ferry.

I told her so, Amy continued.

Did she respond?

She whined What should I do? Just be nice I said. Why? she asked. He’s dying I said. His last minutes should be happy. What does it matter? she said. They won’t last long, I said. But she said, exactly, and then, no matter what, they won’t matter to him cause there’ll be no him for them to matter to.

She’s tough, Jason said.

She’s cruel, I said.

She got what she wanted, Amy said

Uh-huh, Jason said.

I’m afraid of you, I said, as if joking.

5.

I could have predicted it. Amy dumped Jason. No girl had ever done that to him, before. There must have been a reason, but he wouldn’t say. He spent a lot of time hanging around my place just being tense, depressed and irritable. Even I, who loved him with such a self-suppressing love that I would have given my life for him, I even began to feel myself losing patience with him. Several times I felt anger rise within me against him. What surprised me was that I was able to hold back from expressing that anger or even experiencing it. I dismissed it, refused to grant it stay over me, and that gave me strength I had not thought was mine in every area.

I needed less sleep, less food, and more physical activity. I started going back to the gym – weight routines and swimming. I was vibrant.

For the first time in my life, Jason noticed me. He sounded angry.

What the fuck is this? I’m losing it and suddenly you’re looking…

I smiled, and his good nature came back and he finished the sentence with a grin…incredible.

Thanks, I said.

What’s your secret.

No secret, I said, lying. Maybe ‘cause I’ve been going to the gym and working out regularly.

Maybe I should go with you.

Come on, I said, delighted.

It was just what I wanted. I kept on scheming.

6.

It was fun going to the gym with Jason. My routine wasn’t just for me anymore so I could look good.. It was a performance for him, undertaken with a care for grace and presentation as well as an exercise in strength, focus, and precision. I loved it when he looked at me.

He got into the spirit, and I knew he was showing off for me, and enjoying it, too.

But that wasn’t enough for me. I had to have him admit something, desire something, the sexuality of another man. But he wasn’t ready for that, I thought.

I had more scheming to do.

7.

Jason had another fault. This one was even more serious than his private betrayal of his sexual self by keeping it hidden and forbidden. He had turned his degree in Mathematics into a high paying job designing next-generation weaponry for Latent Technologies, which was heavily funded by the U.S. government and was just inches away from being a branch of the C.I.A. This was a betrayal of his private self, an abdication of his social responsibility, and a betrayal of his discipline.

But he wouldn’t hear any talk about it. I play with numbers, he’d say, and that was the end of the conversation.

I wanted to take control of his mind and dominate his will and make him be exactly as I wanted him to be. And I wanted him to know that he was mine and be glad of it. But how the hell was I going to accomplish that? Oh, yes, I know, I mentioned hypnosis before. I wish! I’m not so good at it, and besides how could I ever get Jason to a place where I’d even be able to try to hypnotize him. It would be much easier if he already were hypnotized.

And then one night some angel of possibility blew in my ear and I just asked him if he’d ever been hypnotized. He was stretched out on the couch reading Scientific American. The question wasn’t that far out of left-field because we’d seen the old John Huston movie Freud the night before. And we’d laughed through the scene where Montgomery Clift hypnotizes a young and pretty David McCallum, who is hysterically embracing a dress maker’s dummy with all the violent passion buried within him for his mother.

Jason looked up and said no.

You want to try it? I asked.

Jason laughed and with good-natured interest said, Sure.

8.

I felt myself becoming powerful as I began the induction. My voice was husky and it was dusky and it was enfolding Jason in a dark, sleepy cloud. As my breath wove itself into an incantation I felt my desire for him increase. I began to be hard. I wanted to put my hands on him, to touch him, to feel his muscles, his bones, his skin, his lips. I felt myself closing around him. I felt him becoming more dependent on me

He was under; he was mine.

Open your eyes, I said.

He sat there looking dazed and blank and ready to obey.

Take off your shirt, I said.

He did.

Now stand and pose for me.

He did.

Now order me to do the same thing.

Take off your shirt, he said.

I did.

Now stand and pose for me.

I did.

Tell me you want to look at me, I said.

I want to look at you.

Tell me you want to give me orders and tell me what to do and see me obey you.

I want to give you orders and tell you what to do and see you obey me.

Tell me to get on my knees and worship your cock.

9.

I licked the sweet sensitive inner skin of his cock slit and my eyes rolled back into my head under my closed lids. My breathing was deep and liquid and I was bathing his cock in saliva, taking it all the way to the back of my throat, never having been this content before, filled up now as I was by him, my master, my slave. I couldn’t tell which.

I want to belong to you, he said.

With those words, a bolt of lightening shot through him. He trembled and shook. He stiffened and recoiled and sent his whiplash of seed deep into me.