Somnolyptica
Talia was a slave to her insomnia. It ruled her days and tormented her nights. When she was working, she was exhausted and irritable. When she was at home in bed, she tossed and turned, hopeless and helpless. Night after night she would do everything the sleep books advised, to no avail. She avoided heavy foods, she kept her bedroom for just sleeping. She didn’t get up when sleep didn’t come, she didn’t engage in mental exercises. Nothing helped. When the insomnia was bad enough, she’d down an Ambien and pass out, but her doctor was wary about that prescription, and Talia was afraid of addiction. So, drugs were always a last resort. Talia felt doomed and depressed. Part of her was just ready to give up.
When she walked through the door on Friday, she didn’t see the note from the delivery people in her stack of mail. Instead, she threw her bag down, wandered into her living room, sat on her couch and cried. She’d almost been fired that day. Her boss had called her into his cubicle and had one of those talks with her. She had known what was coming even before he talked to her. She’d been down this road before. They all, all her bosses, had said the same things.
“Your productivity is falling off, Talia.”
“The average time per support call is rising.”
“Your presentation is not suitable to a place of business.”
“Customers are complaining about your answers and demeanor.”
“Is there something wrong, a problem at home, Talia?”
She knew that it was just a matter of time. Thankfully, telephone support jobs were easy to come by, and she was dramatically overqualified. She resigned herself to finding herself out of work once again. This job had only lasted six months. Shorter than ever before.
Talia cried herself out. She sniffed her reddened nose, wiped her tired and bloodshot eyes, and pressed play on the answering machine.
“Talia, this is Scott. Listen babe, I know it’s shitty to break up with a phone message, but I just can’t deal with coming over. I really like you and all, but it’s been three months. We don’t have sex, we don’t go out, and you never, ever want to do anything. I just can’t put up with it any more. I want a life, okay? Call me if you ever get it together, maybe we can go out for a beer.”
Scott’s message didn’t provoke even a single new tear. She’d known it was coming. She lay back on the couch and looked at her mail. Mixed in with the bills, the junk mail, the card from the dentist, and the postcard from her mom on vacation in Ixtapa, was a delivery receipt from the package company. There was a scribble at the bottom.
“Left with neighbor in 16B”
Mr Gonzales had signed for it, apparently. Talia couldn’t imagine what the package was, and entertained herself by imagining that she’d gotten some surprise in the mail as she walked down the hall to Mr. Gonzales’s apartment. She rang his bell.
Ancient Mr. Gonzales opened the door a crack and peered out at her. Recognizing Talia, he closed the door, removed the chain and smiled at her as he opened the door wide. His loving, seamed face was always so happy to see her, see anyone. She went in, greeting him.
“Hola, Mr. Gonzales, how are you today?”
“Ah! Pretty senorita Talia! You’ve picked a bad time to come! My wife is here, the demon. She must not know we are lovers!” He cackled in delight.
“Oh dear, my poor Alberto, whatever shall we do?”
From the other room a warm but thin contralto voice chimed in.
“Madre de Dios! Now, after all these years, I find out you have lovers, Alberto... Please bring me the kitchen knife so I can kill you, si?”
They all laughed. Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales delighted in this kind of play.
“Package for you Talia. It came today.” He grinned at her and pointed to the big package on his dining room table. “From one of your men? Does he perhaps send you vino? None of them are worthy of you, you know this, si? If I were younger, I would send the demon away and become your lover.”
She walked over to the table and examined the package. It was from “Meditation Expressions” in Alberquerque, New Mexico. She sighed.
“No such luck, Mr. Gonzales.” She leaned down and kissed him on the left cheek. “My last boyfriend just broke up with me over voice mail. And this thing is just some clock that’s supposed to help me sleep.”
Alberto’s lined face drooped, and his watery eyes lost their humor. “These men are loco en cabesa. They hurt you. I am sorry. Is it still the sleep? Still it is muy malo?”
“Yes, I still don’t sleep.” She paused and then forced a smile. “But look here, I have this new clock that will fix all that, it will help me sleep, and everything will be alright. The magazine said so.”
He smiled and patted her on the shoulder as she walked to the door carrying the surprisingly heavy package. “I hope this is so, bonita Talia.”
She smiled at him, called a greeting to Mrs. Gonzales and retreated to her apartment. Behind her the sound of Placido Domingo singing began to fill the hallway. Talia knew that Mr. Gonzales always played opera when he was sad.
She returned to her apartment, closed the door and chained it behind her, and set the package down on her living room table. The package contained a meditation and relaxation clock. She’d seen it in one of her new age spirituality magazines. The quarter page advertisement had caught her attention with its mention of being effective in helping sufferers of insomnia. It had said that the clock would. “Eliminate all tension and create a deep mind body connection.”
She’d torn the ad out and stuck it to her fridge a couple of months back. Then a few weeks ago she’d gotten on the Internet and run a search on the company and the clock. She’d seen some glowing endorsements, and no warnings from the Better Business Bureau, so she’d gone to the web site and ordered it. It had been very expensive, $599 for a clock. She was willing to try anything.
Talia unpacked the box. There were several components inside, and the instruction book was thick for a simple meditation clock. First she had to plug it in. That had to happen in her bedroom. Then she had to put a wireless speaker in her bathroom. Another speaker went in her living room. The clock had to be positioned so it faced her bed.
Next she had to press a bunch of buttons to indicate her sex, her age, her height, and her weight. Finally, exasperatingly, she had to enter her postal code. As she read the manual and performed these steps, the booklet explained that the clock was now tuned to her natural body rhythms, her location, the season of the year, and more. Once it was completely set up, the large LCD on the front of the device lit up, but it only displayed a simple message of “Pattern 1”.
“This thing probably predicts when I bleed.” She sighed. It seemed more and more to her like yet another useless gimmick. She’d gotten her hopes up before. Nothing ever worked.
She watched TV until midnight and went to bed. She was surprised to hear a soft white noise coming from the clock. It wasn’t a simple static, the sound was more like the crash of surf. Yet she also noticed that there were other things going on in the white noise, more complicated patterns. It was quiet, a low noise, almost not noticeable. She lay down and tried to sleep.
Talia tossed and turned for hours. One AM came and went. The dim light from the clock later indicated Two AM. She lay in the darkness, awake.
Talia suddenly awoke at eight. She’d slept! The clock was making a tiny chiming noise. It was a pretty sound. As it got louder, she got up and pressed the off button for the alarm. Talia laughed out loud with happiness. She’d gotten five or six straight hours of sleep! Her whole mood lifted. She smiled in the bathroom as she showered.
Her day passed quickly. She made breakfast, ran some errands, came back, looked for work on line, and then ran back out to meet a girlfriend for lunch. After lunch she polished up her resume, fussing over how to hide or gloss over a six month stint. She went shopping for groceries. Later in the day she made a spur of the moment decision to get her hair cut.
When evening came, she rented a movie, got Afghan take out, and settled in to watch Meg Ryan drive Tom Hanks crazy for two hours. She cried at the ending. At eleven exactly, a beautiful chiming noise came from the clock’s wireless speaker in her living room. At eleven fifteen it chimed twice.
Talia laughed. “The damned thing is telling me to go to bed.”
She brushed her teeth, used the toilet, and headed to bed. At eleven thirty, the clock chimed three times and the white noise pattern started again. Talia lay in the darkness for a long time, resting, hoping for sleep. Some time after one, she began to lightly doze.
At eight AM, Talia woke to that beautiful, resonant chiming. She awoke rested, refreshed, and happy. When she saw the time, and discovered that she had slept for seven hours, she cried. Relief coursed over her like a gentle rain on a child’s face. She got up and padded over to the clock. She leaned over it and kissed the wood grain case.
“You’re a miracle.”
Her Sunday passed in a blur of energy. She cleaned house, straightened her closets, scrubbed the toilets.
At noon the clock chimed a beautiful pattern. She grabbed the owners manual and figured out that it was recommending that she take a break for meditation. She sat down in her darkened bedroom, composed herself, and quietly listened to the complicated, rhythmic white noise sounds coming out of the clock. When the clock chimed again, it was twelve thirty and she felt refreshed.
Later she headed out and went shopping. She’d need some new clothes for work, regardless of whether or not she had to get a new job. Standing in the dressing room at Macy’s, she looked herself over. She was twenty seven years old. Talia was fit, in a thin pale goth girl kind of way. Her red hair, recently cut, piled out over her shoulders in a wave of crimson which highlighted and accented her pretty green eyes.
Her figure was trim and spare. Long legs gave way to small hips over an almost flat tummy and pretty ‘B’ cup breasts. She smiled at herself, amused that she was spending time on her appearance. She agonized over a couple of skirt and blouse purchases and apologized to the shop girl. Grabbing her hard fought victory purchases, she headed home.
Talia got home in time to make dinner for herself at six and settled in for the evening. The clock chimed for meditation again at eight. She set her alarm for six the next morning, and the clock chimed her bed time at ten PM. Talia went to bed eagerly that night, laying down with a smile on her face, listening to the rhythmic, hypnotic pattern coming from the clock. She was asleep by ten fifteen.
Talia’s eyes flew open at exactly six AM as the clock chimed a single time. She laughed as she looked at the time and threw herself out of bed. She’d slept almost eight straight hours.
As she showered, getting ready for work, Talia noticed that she was slightly horny. There was a slight tingle to her body, and her pussy was a tiny bit wet. She turned the temperature up slightly, took the shower head down from the rod, and ran it over her belly and mound. Her pussy responded immediately with a surprisingly powerful tingle of sexual heat and she could feel herself getting wetter.
“God, will wonders never cease. Talia has a sex drive!” She said to herself. She smiled as she slowly masturbated in the shower. A thrill of glee ran through her when she came, rubbing her clit under the shower nozzle. She laughed out loud.
Work was a wonder. She arrived on time, and clocked in on time. Her co-workers were stunned to see her dressed up in clean black slacks and a white blouse. Topping it off, Talia flew through her day and her workload with a smile and a kind word for everyone. At lunch she chatted with her cubicle partner Margaret.
“What happened, Talia? You seem so different, happy. Did you get laid or something?”
“No, better.”
“What? Better than sex?”
“You bet, lots better!”
“Yeah, what?”
“Sleep!”
“Huh?”
“Midge, I’m sleeping! I got eight hours last night, eight whole hours straight. I didn’t even wake up once. NOT ONCE!” Talia laughed.
Margaret laughed with her and hugged her. They chatted over lunch and Margaret smiled to herself to see her friend so happy.
The rest of that week had a delightful pattern for Talia. Each night she trotted off to sleep as soon as her alarm called for her. She found herself falling easily asleep each night, and each night she fell asleep more quickly. Each night her sleep was deeper than the night before, each morning she awoke more rested and with greater enthusiasm for her day. By Friday everyone in the office had noticed, and her boss even complimented her on taking his advice and ‘coaching’ to heart. Talia just chuckled.
The week was so wonderful for her in fact that by Thursday, she was running home on her lunch hour to spend time meditating with the clock. She was back home each night before eight so she could meditate again.
Talia tore into her weekend with an energy she hadn’t felt in years. On Saturday morning she awoke at seven sharp. The clock hadn’t even chimed and she was already out of bed. She was in and out of the shower in a flash, only taking time to spend a minute masturbating. With her new found energy and enthusiasm, she was able to masturbate to climax in just two minutes. She was delighted with this new found level of responsiveness. By seven thirty she was out the door and on her way shopping. She waited at the mall entrance for it to open at eight, and she was the first customer through the doors.
Talia whizzed through her shopping. She ran into Mervyns, Penny’s, Macy’s and Sears at a trot. She picked up a cute black leather mini-skirt that was on sale, a delicious pair of 4″ pumps with spike heels, a shimmery peach blouse that was just one hint too sheer, and several new cosmetics. But her most serious shopping of the day was at Fredericks and Victoria’s Secret.
Laughing in delight, Talia threw caution to the wind and acquired a sheer black teddy, several lacy bras, fishnet stockings, six pairs of thongs, and most daringly, a peek-a-boo and crotchless set in white lace. Holding up this last purchase, she paused for just a moment and hesitated.
“What in the world am I doing buying crotchless butterfly panties?”
The tiny frown that formed as she thought this over just slowly faded away as Talia lost the thread of that thought. A bright, sunny smile quickly formed.
“Oh poo! Who cares, it’s a treat just for me!”
The tired shop-girl smiled wanly at the sight of Talia talking to herself.
“Sure,” The clerk thought to herself, “Crotchless panties and sequined thongs... just for you, a treat. Sure.”
As Talia walked through the Fredericks, she glanced in the shop mirror and was surprised when she looked herself over.
“Oh god, I’m positively emaciated. Bony even. No wonder it was so easy for Scott to break up with me, no sex and I have bony hips.” She glanced at the clerk.
“I have got to put some meat on and get in better shape if I’m ever gonna keep a boyfriend!”
“Uh, yes maam. Really though, you’re pretty just as you are. You know, in a cool kinda way.”
“Oh please, you’re just saying that. I know what men like... men like boobs and butts. And I don’t have either.”
Cindy the clerk smiled at Talia and refrained from calling her an idiot.
On the way home from the mall, Talia drove straight to the fitness center and joined up. She went for the whole package including the pool, and because of the special they were running, just for this week only, she pre-paid for a whole year. She dashed home just in time to hear the first gong calling her to noon meditation. She fell to her knees in her bedroom and in seconds her mind was empty and peace washed over her like a tide. She didn’t give a second thought to the nearly nine hundred dollars she had dumped on clothes and her fitness program. She never even noticed that the front of the clock now read “Pattern 2”.
Over the next two months, Talia’s regime took on a completely rigid and defined schedule. Each morning she was up at six AM, even on the weekends. She got to the gym by six-twenty, and worked out hard for forty five minutes. She showered at the gym and masturbated on her way into work. At work before eight, she ate a healthy snack at her desk, and hammered her way through her support calls like a woman possessed. She was back home by noon for meditation, ate lunch in her car on the way back where she masturbated again, and was back at her desk by one. She finished her work day at five and was home preparing dinner by six. At eight she meditated again and was in bed by ten on the dot. By the end of the second month, she had worked cleaning the apartment every day and an hour of dance class into her schedule. Her energy seemed boundless.
Other than her unwavering masturbation schedule, she had no interest in sex. In fact, she’d never even called Scott back since he’d dumped her.
In the third month, the clock silently flickered over to read “Pattern 3”. That morning, when Talia arose from her delightfully sensuous sleep, she took a brief moment to turn the lights on and stretch. She stripped off the jog bra and flannel bottoms she slept in and stood naked in front of the clock. With a sigh of pure hedonistic delight, she stretched her arms out and very slowly turned in a complete circle, reveling in the joy of the morning. A tiny snap-click sound came from the clock several times as she stretched.
After a moment, the clock did something it had never done before. It emitted a tiny shrill squeal, and the LCD face went blank. Talia looked at it in sudden panic. The LCD cleared and now read.
“Error – 134 Consult manual”
With a shriek, Talia raced to her kitchen and dug through her odds and ends drawer until she raced back with the manual in hand. Flipping through the manual, she found ‘Error 134’ in the back. It read:
“This advanced meditation and relaxation unit’s internal programming has expired. If this condition is allowed to continue, its attunement to your body’s rhythms will drift out of sync.”
“Your meditation and relaxation unit is unable to detect a dial tone, it is unable to dial out for updated programming. This could be from one of several causes. Please verify that a working phone line is attached to the back of the unit. If the line is working, please call our toll free customer support unit at 1-800-555-3498”
Talia broke out in a cold sweat. She reached around behind the clock and investigated. Sure enough, there was a phone jack there, but she had never hooked it up. She dashed to the phone, called in late to work, and made a mad dash to the local Radio Shack. She picked up a phone splitter and an extension cord and broke several speed limit laws on the way home. Once safely back in her apartment, she worked feverishly to get the clock all hooked up correctly. After a false start or two from her anxiousness, she got the clock hooked up to the phone line. Reading the manual, she pressed the ‘continue’ button on the back and waited.
After a minute, the LCD display cleared and went back to reading “Pattern 3”. Talia sighed in vast relief. Her precious link to sleep and a life that worked was functioning again. The after effects of the adrenaline left her feeling shaky and nervous. She puttered around until noon and waited for the meditation cycle to begin.
Precisely at noon, the clock face cleared again and this time there was no chime. The white noise sound began, but with subtle differences. A non-descript male voice spoke from the unit.
“Nudity is conducive to meditation free of restraint.”
Talia looked at the clock in puzzlement.
The white noise stopped.
She was suddenly gripped with a sense of panic again.
“Nudity is conducive to meditation free of restraint.”
A long moment passed in which Talia tried to understand what was happening. This had never occurred before. The panic in her gut was rising, fighting her resistance to what the clock had said.
“Nudity is conducive to meditation free of restraint. This meditation cycle is canceled. Your next meditation cycle is in eight hours.”
She lurched back from the clock in terror. Her routine was broken, and she was going to miss her meditation period. Her skin began to crawl and her gut churned. Suddenly she was nauseous and made a run to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet in time and vomited up her breakfast. She held onto the cool porcelain of the toilet, feeling sick and abandoned. Some time later she was able to call into work and let them know she was ill.
She read the instruction manual through, front to back, several times. There was nothing in there about what to do to get it to give her a meditation period. When she called the company telephone support line, no human being answered. She was forced to navigate a complex voice mail tree, hoping to find her answer in the ‘Common Questions’ section. After a minute, she heard a response that chilled her.
“Thank you for calling Meditation Expressions,” It began, “If your support concern is about missing a meditation session, there is no way to reset the unit to provide an extra session. We advise you to wait for the next scheduled session. If this answer does not apply to your question, press nine to return...” The voice droned on.
She slammed the receiver down, and crawled into bed. She waited in sick fear for the rest of the day. Her schedule ruined, she did nothing, laying in bed shivering.
At eight PM on the dot, the white noise began.
“Nudity is conducive to meditation free of restraint.”
Talia stripped her clothes off in a blur and dropped naked into her meditation posture. The moment she assumed the position, the clock chimed. As the chime died away, peace and relief poured through her. Her meditation cycle began. As she sat meditating, silent tears of gratitude made their way down her cheeks. That night, her sleep was deep, and her dreams were erotic, but she didn’t remember them.
The next day at work, she talked with Margaret about what had happened.
“I’m worried about my clock, Midge.”
“You love that thing, Talia, you act like it’s saved your life. I’ve told you before I think that whole meditation thing is weird. Eastern stuff, you know?”
“But you know I’ve always been into that. It’s not the meditation. It’s like the clock is pushing me or leading me somewhere. It’s kind of scary.”
“So get rid of it, buy something else. Buy another kind of meditation thing. You know, like one of those chiming clocks that look like a pyramid or something.”
Talia’s stomach lurched a tiny bit as she considered that option.
“Just the thought of that makes me sick, I can’t turn off my clock. I’d go back to no sleep, to the insomnia,” She lowered her head, silent tears glistening unshed in her eyes. “I can’t ever live that way again. I just can’t.”
Margaret looked at her friend and smiled. “Oh honey.” She patted Talia’s hand gently. “I know you can’t. I’m sure that the clock is programmed just right. It’s done nothing but good for you so far. I’ll bet everything will be fine.”
“Do you really think so?”
Margaret only smiled and patted Talia’s hand.
As time passed, Talia’s nights became increasingly erotic. Her dreams became intense and sexual. She never really remembered much from them, except for brief flashes of bodies intertwined, and an arousing sense of perversion. Her dreams led her to masturbate more often, and her orgasms were becoming more intense.
At the same time as this was happening, other things were progressing as well. Talia was now considered a top performer at work. She routinely got the weekly and monthly performance bonuses. Her customer satisfaction ratings were so high that the bonuses were sometimes substantial.
She now meditated in the nude, slept in the nude, and increasingly was nude at all times at home. She’d taken a renewed interest in her appearance and grooming. For a long time, her only living expenses had been her car, apartment and gym membership. Now Talia began to spend money.
Halfway through her first year with the clock, Talia began to get a manicure and pedicure every two weeks like clockwork. She made her hair appointments months in advance so she could be certain it would happen on the 15th of each month exactly.
On the 15th of June, just over six months from when the clock made an appearance in her life, she arrived for her appointment at Fashionsense and Myrrh, her beauty parlor. As always, the owner Mrs. Myrrh, whose first name was a closely held secret, sat behind the appointments desk doing the books as Talia checked in.
“Ah, back right on time as always, Talia?”
“I do try to be prompt, Mrs. Myrrh.”
“Honey, your version of prompt is kind of scary. You walk through that door exactly, and I do mean exactly, five minutes early each time. I could use more customers like you. And employees, god knows.”
They both laughed.
Instead of heading for the chairs to wait for her appointment as usual, Talia hesitated. She looked at Mrs. Myrrh shyly.
“Yes, sweety?”
“Umm, can I ask you a private question?”
“Sure Talia, what?”
Talia leaned over the counter and spoke quietly. “I think I’m kind of hairy, you know?”
“What, your legs?”
“Uh, no. Down there, you know?”
“Oh. Heh. Are you asking me for a Brazilian, Talia?”
“A Brazilian?”
“All the hair, all of it... gone. Zzzzip.”
Talia paused in thought. “Yes, yes that’s exactly what I want!” She smiled in delight. “Why haven’t I thought of this before? Could I get it done permanently? You know, like with a laser or something?”
“Well, we don’t do the laser thing, that’s at a doctor. I do know a good place to go though. It can be expensive. We do electrolysis here, takes longer and hurts a bit more, but you have light red hair, it’ll do a better job for you.”
Talia smiled. “Oh, I don’t care if it hurts, let’s do it. Lets do it now! Can we start right away?”
“Sure I suppose, how much do you want done?”
“All of it... everything... everything from my lips down.”
Mrs. Myrrh unwrapped a lolly-pop and looked at Talia with a grin. “Which lips, dear?”
Talia blushed a deep red. “Both.”
Talia delighted in her new found attention to her appearance. There was something profoundly, deeply satisfying about seeing herself nude and hairless. She began to buy beauty magazines and read up on all the latest trends.
Every weekend for two months she spent twelve hours getting hair removed. At the same time, she decided on the spur of the moment to get collagen injected into her outer labia. All the latest magazines said it would give her privates that ‘pouty’ look that men wanted. For some unexplainable reason, Talia had no interest in men, but was utterly consumed by a concern for what men liked.
Flipping through her magazines one day while the cosmetician worked on her electrolysis, she spotted an advertisement for a breast enlargement clinic. The moment she saw the ad, a thrill of delight ran through her. Someplace deep inside, something went ‘click’ and settled into place. She decided in an instant to have bigger breasts. She just knew that bigger breasts would lead to deeper sleep and more relaxation.
She searched the Internet, read magazines, called friends of friends seeking out who would be just the right surgeon. When she found the doctor she wanted, it turned out that her clinic was in San Diego.
She instantly got online and ordered the travel version of her clock. Once it arrived, she carefully followed the instruction manual to synchronize the two units. For some reason, this involved connecting the two with a cable and letting the travel unit get updated from her main unit. It was all too technical for her to follow.
Talia booked a consultation appointment without hesitating for a second and bought her plane tickets. She made sure she had time off work and flew down to see the doctor on a Friday morning.
When her appointment came, she was so excited she giggled in glee as she sat down with the doctor.
“Oh Doctor, I’m so excited.”
“Call me Michelle, Talia.”
“Michelle, I can’t wait.”
“Why do you want breast enlargement, Talia?”
“Well, because I hate my tiny boobs. I want beautiful big boobs. I feel so much like something is missing every time I look in the mirror. I just know I would be more at peace if I looked right.”
“Talia, stand up and come over here please.” The doctor opened a cabinet with full-length mirrors on both doors and in the back. “Tell me what you see when you look at yourself.”
Talia stood for a moment, looking at herself. She didn’t see the immaculately dressed hair-do, the tasteful but tight choker of pearls, the precise and detailed eye shadow, false eyelashes, carefully applied lipstick or the pretty rhinestone earrings. She didn’t notice the tight and flattering sheer black belly blouse that hinted at the lacy and racy black bra underneath. She didn’t pay attention to her tight and firm tummy or her oh-so-painfully sculpted abdominals.
As she rotated back and forth, she didn’t pay the slightest heed to the tight, firm, round butt that she’d developed or her firm thighs that peeked out under her small black mesh mini-skirt. She ignored the beautiful, long, firm legs and toned, muscular calves that led down to pretty feet wrapped in high heeled strappy black sandals.
What Talia saw was her tiny, ugly chest. She saw flat, small, unattractive little titties that ruined everything she’d worked so hard on. She burst into tears and looked away.
“Oh, I can’t stand it Michelle. I just can’t stand it. I’ll never look the way I want with these... these things on my chest. I’ll never be beautiful like I want. Never.” The tears ran freely down her cheeks and she hung her head in shame.
The doctor sized her patient up coolly. “Talia, you’re suffering from a relatively extreme case of body dis-morphia. You’re already an incredibly beautiful woman. You could work as a model. You’re actually quite stunning.”
Talia just cried harder and dabbed at her eyes with the supplied tissues.
“Tell me something, Talia. What will you do if I refuse you treatment? You really don’t need this surgery.”
Talia looked up in alarm. “I’d ... I’d go somewhere else. There’s this clinic in Mexico City that I read about! I’d go there. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll go there.” Talia started to gather her things. “I’ve got the whole weekend available, I’ll just go there now, and see if I can get in. I’ll go ... thanks anyways Michelle.”
“Whoa Talia. Stop.” The doctor reached out and held Talia by the arm. “I just wanted to know what you’d do. Now I know.” She sighed. “I’ll treat you.”
Talia shrieked in glee and hugged the doctor. Over the course of the next hour, they reviewed techniques, the kinds of implants available, the types of surgery available and what size implants might be best. The doctor sent Talia back to her hotel room for the day with a selection of bra inserts to try out wearing. Talia purchased a set of different cup sized bras and spent some time walking around her room looking in the mirror.
The larger the insert and bra she tried, the more excited she became. As she put on a DD/E cup bra and inserted the gel sack into it she began to become aroused. The moment she looked in the mirror and saw those huge breasts looking back at her, she suddenly and overwhelmingly began to orgasm. Her knees buckled and she slid to the floor moaning. Loose thoughts raced around in her mind as she curled up around the tidal wave of pleasure. She decided that she’d found the right size.
The next day, her doctor looked gloomy when Talia told her which implants and what size she wanted.
“Talia, going up about 275cc’s would have you be a beautiful ‘C’ cup, and it would look and feel much more natural. Are you really certain you want to go that large? You won’t look as natural, even though we’re going to put them in under the muscle.”
Talia smiled with an inner certainty. “Oh yes, yes. That’s what I want.”
They made an appointment for the surgery, Talia wrote a check out for the estimated costs, and she headed out into the blue, blue San Diego afternoon nearly dancing in joy.
At the beginning of August, Talia arrived at work walking gingerly, trying to adjust her stride to accommodate the new presence of her chest. That whole day, and for several days after, wherever she went in the office, all conversation stopped. The men couldn’t help themselves, as their eyes tracked and locked on the giant, firm mountains that now rode proudly up on Talia’s small frame. The women were mostly shocked and a bit scandalized as Talia completed yet another portion of her transformation. For most of them at least... for a few of the women, who kept it to themselves of course, the response was more like that of the men.
Talia was now a presence wherever she went. She was always dressed to impress, never slutty, but always right on dead sexy. Men fell all over themselves to ‘help’ her out, to ask her on dates, to spend time around her. She found it all amusing, in a distant kind of way. It was extremely frustrating for the men around her. She insisted on treating them like a kid brother that likes to flirt. She’d joke with them, preen herself on their attention, but never ever give them the slightest hint of interest.
After the men struck out, the office lesbians headed in for the kill. While their approach was more subtle and more elliptical, it was met with the same kinds of responses. Frustrating for everyone was the way that Talia’s fixed and rigid schedule, her slavish devotion to her meditation, her workouts, her dance classes, and her sleep were all more important than them. She became the office enigma. Rumors floated around that she had a secret lover, perhaps the CEO. Those that worked with her knew it to not be true.
Margaret had been acting worried for some time. It had started when Talia came in with her new breasts. She had cornered Talia in the break-room one afternoon.
“Talia sweety, what in the world made you do that to yourself, baby?”
“Oh Midge, don’t I look SO much better now? Just look at the way everyone notices.”
“Of course we notice, Talia, this is kinda extreme, isn’t it? What are they, D cups?”
“Oh heavens no!”
“Really, thank goodness.”
“Of course not, they’re E cups!” Talia shared proudly, sticking her chest up for inspection.
“Talia, what the HELL is wrong with you? That’s not the way you talk, this is all so not like you!”
“Midge, I’m so happy now, I look so much better, I feel so much better, I sleep so much better.”
“Oh my god. It’s that clock thing isn’t it?”
“Of course not, Margaret Reilly! It’s ME... this is exactly what I want, and it’s what I’ve always wanted. I’ve just never been relaxed enough, open enough to admit it.”
Margaret just shook her head and changed the subject. After that, their friendship was never quite the same. They talked at work, but Talia no longer shared what she was up to, and came to regard Margaret as being threatened by her new openness.
At home, Mr and Mrs Gonzales were different, but no better.
Old Mrs. Gonzales caught sight of her while she was getting her mail. The elderly woman dropped her mail and stared at Talia with an open mouth. Talia tried to explain about how proud she was, even offering to let Mrs. Gonzales feel how real they felt. Mrs. Gonzales politely refused and walked back into her apartment. Later Talia found out that poor old Mr. Gonzales was now forbidden to talk to her.
Although these changes made her sad, she somehow knew that these changes were consistent with the new her, with the wonderful new life she was building for herself.
At the beginning of September, her ‘clock’ clicked over to display ‘Pattern 4’ on its enigmatic LCD face.
One morning in September, Talia woke up horny, more horny than usual, more horny than she could remember being... ever. As was long time habit by now, she began to masturbate. This time however, she was unable to climax. She didn’t get herself to cum on the way to the gym or on the way to work. She fidgeted her way through her morning, completely aroused and unable to do anything about it. She was so turned on that she was certain she could smell herself.
The moment lunch approached, she rushed home, failing again to cum on the way. She ran into her bedroom to meditate, stripped off and dropped to her knees just as the chime sounded. The male voice spoke again, this time saying something completely new.
“Relaxing your visual inhibitions is key to deep meditation.”
Somehow, Talia instantly knew what the voice meant, and with a lurch of realization, she knew that it was right. It was very, very right. She was visually inhibited.
The voice spoke again. “We recommend that you relax your visual inhibitions before your next meditation period.” The beautiful, soothing but complex white noise pattern began. Talia closed her eyes and meditated. At the end of her meditation period, she skipped lunch completely and dashed out to her car after tearing a page out of her phone directory.
She drove across town to the seedier side and pulled up in the parking lot of “Jo’s Fly By Night Books and Novelties”. It took her a moment to compose herself and get her blushing and arousal under control. She looked down at the ground as she ducked into the low building and glanced around. Everywhere she looked there was smut. Porno on rack after rack of DVDs and Videos. Porno on rack after rack of magazines. Inflatable dolls, giant black dildos, and weird leather whips lined the display cases.
Given that it was lunch time during the week, there were few customers present, and those that were seemed like businessmen, not scary biker types. Behind the counter was a bored looking woman in her late twenties or middle thirties. She was chewing gum and doing a crossword puzzle. She looked up as Talia approached and whistled a little.
“Can I ... uh, help you Miss?”
“Oh, yes please. Help me.” Talia blushed furiously and looked down.
“What are you looking for? I’m Jo, by the way.” Her eyes roamed over Talia’s body like they were seeking a way into her.
“I don’t really know. Something visual... something I’d find shocking I guess. That’s probably what he means.”
Jo’s smile drooped a tiny bit. “Ah, so ‘he’ sent you to buy some porn? Looking to broaden your horizons a bit, are you?”
“Yes, that’s it exactly. I need to relax more.”
“Oh, I see. You need to relax. Yeah, I can understand that. Nothing really works when you can’t relax, does it?”
Talia turned a slightly deeper shade of red and did not correct the woman.
“Well, let’s see. What might get you off, eh? Straight porn? Boy girl? Boy boy? Maybe some girl girl, eh?” Jo paused hopefully. “How about some oral? Or maybe you want some spanking and slapping? Some bondage maybe? How about anal. You into anal?”
Talia gasped slightly. A tear of humiliation slid down her cheek. They were both silent for a moment. Just as Jo was deciding that Talia would probably run out of the store in embarrassment, Talia spoke in a tiny voice.
“I’d like you to pick out some DVD’s for me please. I want some straight porn, some gay male, some lesbian, some solo girl. Please pick out some oral for me, some ... some... anal, yes some anal sex videos please, and some spanking, some bondage. Get me some two way, some three way, gang bangs, double penetrations... I want some of everything. You pick it out, I just can’t.” She was quiet a second. “No romance stuff ... I just want the hard core. Just the sex.”
Jo smiled at the size of the sale that had just walked in, but found herself a tiny bit wistful. “Sounds like you’re pretty committed to what he wants you to do.”
“Oh yes,” Talia said. “This is really best for me.”
Six hundred dollars of porn later, Talia left the store. She carried two big bags of DVDs and magazines out to her car, threw them under a blanket and returned to work, where she could not meet anyone’s eyes all day. At the end of her day she escaped home as quickly as possible.
Sitting at home, waiting for her eight o’clock chime, Talia watched porn. As she slipped the first one in, she found herself immediately aroused. Her arousal increased after the titles cleared and the first actress appeared. As the woman stripped, Talia got more and more excited. When the girl on the screen kneeled down to begin sucking on an anonymous dick, Talia’s pussy began to throb and she could feel herself getting wetter and wetter. As the blow job scene progressed, Talia could not refrain from touching herself. Her wetness grew. Every time the porn girl took that cock deep, Talia could feel herself salivate, and her thighs grew slick from her pussy.
When the unknown man in the video began to moan theatrically and jerk off, heading to his climax, Talia’s arousal grew fierce, and she could sense her long delayed orgasm approaching. Tiny beads of sweat formed on her brow. When the guy on-screen came in ribbons of cum on the porn star’s face, Talia’s thighs clamped shut, and her belly contracted into a knot. She didn’t hear the clock click and whir.
She thrust her pelvis forward again and again, as if to meet some invisible phallus. Deep inside, her pussy throbbed and clenched rhythmically. A deep red blush spread across her chest. Just then, a sense of relaxation and peace spread through her. It was as if some unknown and unsuspected tension had been released. Something new bloomed in her, and she came so hard she lost her breath.
That evening her meditation was deep and fulfilling. When the voice had asked, “Have you relaxed your visual inhibitions prior to this meditation period?” Talia had been able to confidently say, “Yes, oh yes,” out loud with a tone of relief and accomplishment in her voice. She took no notice that the clock was now interrogating her on her actions.
The following days settled once again into a predictable and fulfilling routine. Each day, between work, exercise, cooking and cleaning, and her dance lessons, she watched porn. She watched lots of porn. She watched the porn intently, watching the girls in the videos very, very carefully. And always, always she came hard, sometimes so hard it made her belly hurt, when the man came.
Under the guiding influence of the clock, she made careful mental notes. She saw the talented porno girls take huge dicks in their asses and smile, so she knew smiling was possible. She saw them take dicks deep, deeper, and then hit bottom in their throats, so she knew that was possible too.
She compared her body to theirs. She made notes to herself about the way those women dressed, the lingerie they wore, the high heels. When the weekend came, she hit Victoria’s Secret, Fredericks, Madam S and Stormy Leather all in search of the perfect outfits.
As she watched and learned, she noted that some things were missing. Those girls were truly, deeply relaxed, she could tell. They had something she didn’t... and they probably slept better than she did. She knew now that she was close, but additional actions would be necessary.
As time had passed, she had felt herself opening up, relaxing, giving up control. This, she knew, allowed her to sleep, to relax, to live and breathe with peace. Yet down deep she also knew that there remained a stubborn core of tension, of control; sometimes she almost felt like there was a tiny voice somewhere in her, screaming out in fear and concern. Until she could release that tension, she knew she could never be truly free.
In late September, she made a Saturday afternoon appointment in the city. She took transit downtown and walked into the parlor and looked around curiously at the decorations, the pictures, all the paraphernalia of a modern piercing studio.
When her piercer, Alei, came to the front, they shook hands warmly. Alei led her to the back room and told her to get comfortable on the table.
“When you called me, I was a little concerned that you wanted so much work done in one day. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, oh yes. This is exactly what I want, and I don’t care if it hurts.”
Alei thought to herself that what she’d just heard was pretty damned hot. This Talia chick was giving off a hard straight-chick vibe though.
“And you’re comfortable with me taking a good look to make sure that your anatomy is right for this?”
Talia blushed a little and smiled. “Yes.”
“Well, okay then, please get undressed. All the way, and we’ll take a look.”
Talia, without a second glance to Alei began to strip. Unconsciously, she did so slowly and a little provocatively. Under her tiny black skirt and sheer peach blouse she wore a tiny frilled black thong with a string of pearls from front to back, and a black lace bra that was unlined and so lacy that it clearly displayed her nipples.
Alei suppressed a shudder of desire as Talia lay down on the piercing table and smiled at her. The moment Alei saw Talia’s enlarged, distended labia and hairlessness, she decided that Talia must be a porn star or a very, very high priced hooker. Alei usually tried damned hard to not get aroused by her customers, but this chick was proving to be a challenge.
Alei leaned in and set to work. They consulted on placement and look. Talia could feel Alei’s breath on her clit as the attractive butch girl examined her. Warm fingers reached in and examined her clit and hood.
Talia instantly moaned and felt her pussy gush moisture.
“Fuck” Said Alei, leaning back.
“Oh, please, please don’t stop. I’m not gay, but no one has touched me in almost a year. That felt so good. God, please don’t stop” Talia hid her blushing face under her spread hands.
“I could lose my gig here if I fuck with you.”
“Then don’t. It’s okay, I’m just really, really hot for your touch is all.” Talia could hardly believe that those words were coming out of her mouth. She sounded like some kind of lesbian.
“And if I said that I wanted to anyway?”
“Oh god, please do whatever you want, anything. Anything.”
Alei grinned up at Talia between her spread legs. “You’re just the little slut, aren’t you? So submissive too.”
The words hit Talia like hammers. They landed hard on her, arousing her, defining her in that moment. She could feel herself leaking pussy juices onto the table. She blushed deeper... but her left hand reached out to Alei’s head and slowly pushed Alei’s face into her pussy.
“Tell them I made you.”
Alei reached one hand down into her jeans and rolled her chair forward so that the leg from the table would be there for her to rub against as she petted her clit. With the other hand, she licked a finger and slowly inserted it into Talia’s pussy. Talia was so wet that the finger slid right in. Alei leaned in and began to lightly lick at Talia.
Up above, Talia began to instantly writhe in passion on the table. In seconds she came under Alei’s mouth, actually squirting her juices slightly as she gasped, bore down on the finger and moaned.
“Fuck you cum fast, bitch.” Alei grinned up at her.
“Don’t stop please, make me cum for you again, please?”
Alei inserted another finger. It too slid right home. She began slowly curling and releasing her fingers up inside Talia, rubbing her G spot. Meanwhile, down below, Alei was busy rubbing herself against the table pole and stroking her clit.
A couple of minutes passed, the quiet only broken by Talia’s tiny gasps, the wet squishy sounds of Alei’s fingers, and an occasional low grunt from Alei. Looking up after a minute, Talia could see that Alei was not too far from cumming. Talia ran her hands through Alei’s hair and whispered. “Please cum, show me you like me, please cum.”
The submissive whispers were enough to send the attractive piercer over the edge. With a gasp, she came on her own hand, and her fingers curled up tight inside Talia. The moment Talia saw Alei begin to orgasm, she came herself. Covering her mouth with both of her hands, Talia tried not to moan too loudly as her orgasm went on and on. After a timeless moment of sheer pleasure, she fainted.
Alei sat back with a smile and a chuckle. “Fuck, bitch. You’re one smoking hot piece.” Getting no response, she leaned up to kiss Talia and found her snoring lightly. Talia’s hand reached up to Alei and caressed her short hair... after a moment Talia’s eyes fluttered opened.
The two kissed in a long moment of delight and Alei sat back on her chair with a sigh. “You know... I’ve never done anything like that before. Never. There’s something special about you.”
Talia smiled and blushed again. “Thank you. I’m so happy that I could relax you, relieve your tension. That’s important, you know?”
Alei’s smile turned a little puzzled. “Tell ya what. I’m gonna go get a cigarette outside. You clean up a little in the restroom right there, and I’ll be back in a minute or so. Give us both a chance to chill some. Cause really, thats was fucked up in all kinds of cool ways.”
Alei left the room as Talia wrapped a large towel around herself and went into the bathroom.
After washing her hands and face, after standing outside and having a cigarette, Alei headed back into the studio. As she passed the counter, the receptionist Sulwyn smiled a knowing smile at her and winked. “Shut the fuck up, Sul.”
Alei entered the piercing room to find Talia back on the table, legs spread in the stirrups again and smiling. Shifting the mood with dogged determination, she set to work, marking the piercing spots with her tiny sharpie marker.
“Are you ready, Talia?”
“Yes please, Alei. You can go ahead and hurt me.”
Alei groaned inwardly and took a deep breath.
Talia came when the needle went under her clit and back out the other side for her triangle piercing. She came again when each of her four labia piercings went in. She came yet again with a groan and shudder when Alei pierced her tongue. She came twice more as her nipples went under the needle, and a last time as her belly button was pierced.
At the end of the procedures, Alei was a little shocked. This woman’s sexuality was like nothing she’d ever seen before. Her orgasms were powerful, immediate. It was almost like they were automatic or even trained.
“How can it be like that for you? You came what, like ten, eleven times with me? I’ve had to clean the table three times.”
Talia could not look at Alei. “If that’s bad, if it makes you unhappy, tell me please. I just cant help it. It’s relaxing to me, and I need it.”
Alei just shook her head and looked at Talia. “Uh look, here’s my card. I’ve written my number, my home number and my cell phone on the back. Call me, okay?”
Talia shook her head. “But I’m not gay, Alei. This was great, and I’m glad I could help you relax, and that I could relax and get through this... and I know I’ll sleep great tonight and all, but I think I’m meant for a man.”
Alei said nothing, returning her card to her vest pocket. She wrote out the bill and handed it to Talia. “Pay the receptionist out front. Come back some time.” She stood up and left abruptly. Talia heard a door slam.
That evening just before her meditation, she looked at herself in her mirror, turning slowly back and forth, admiring herself.
“I’m almost ready, aren’t I?” She said to the mirror. “I wonder what for?”
That night, as she slept, a deep and refreshing sleep, the clock clicked over again. The dial now read “Pattern 5”.