Title: That Don’t Impress Me Much (part 3)
It was only when I got home that I remembered Leslie had called me. I dialed into my voice mail and listened to her message. She simply asked me to call her. I looked at the clock and knew she’d be getting off work soon. I went ahead and dialed her number, wondering what I’d tell her. Not surprisingly, I ended up telling her everything. Leslie listened quietly, saying nothing until I was finished.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“I’m not really sure,” I replied honestly.
“Do you want to hypnotize him again?” she inquired.
“I really don’t know,” I said.
“Do you still have romantic feelings for him?” she asked.
“No,” I answered without hesitating.
“Then what do you want out of this? Are you seeking revenge?” Leslie persisted.
I thought about that question. The truth was I didn’t know what I wanted, but I did feel a strong urge to see Bill again.
Thank heaven for the weekend. Rick and I were going to have dinner and see a movie. I was grateful for this reprieve from the inner turmoil I’d been experiencing since seeing Bill. Rick insisted on paying for the evening, which I protested and lost. I was worried that it made it seem more like a date, and things had been easy going between us since our tryst.
Conversation was light, and I avoided mentioning seeing Bill. I just wanted to forget about it. We enjoyed the movie, “Hangover 2”, though we both agreed it was a bit too much like the original. We went to a coffee shop after, just to hang out and talk.
After we’d gotten our orders placed, coffee for him and hot chocolate for me, Rick said, “I wanted you to know I really enjoyed my first evening back in NYC.”
I stared at him, a bit startled. “I thought maybe you didn’t remember it,” I said quietly.
“Of course I remembered,” he said emphatically.
Not knowing what to say, I looked down.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, sounding confused.
“I’d just hate to think it would ruin our friendship,” I said.
“Why would you think that?” he said lightly.
I was about to reply when I saw Bill walk in. I couldn’t believe my luck, twice in two days? I’d wanted to think about anything BUT him tonight. I looked down again, hoping Bill wouldn’t notice me but it was too late.
“Hey Mandy, twice in two days, what did I do to get so lucky?” said Bill cheerfully.
Rick gave me a quizzical look.
“Rick, this is Bill. Bill, this is my friend Rick.” I could see Rick was trying not to look startled as he shook Bill’s hand. Although Rick knew who Bill was, he’d never seen him.
“Am I interrupting something?” Bill asked.
Rick started to say no but I interrupted him. “We are on a date,” I said, not feeling very guilty for lying.
“Oh,” said Bill, looking surprised. “Well, I won’t keep you then. I hope I can call you soon though, your cell number is still the same?” he inquired.
I nodded that it was and he left the shop. I looked at Rick, who clearly had a lot of questions for me.
I decided to cut him off at the pass. “Yes that’s THE Bill, yes I did see him yesterday, and no I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Uncle,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air. I smiled at him gratefully and we engaged in idle chit chat. Neither Bill, nor the conversation we were having when Bill came in, was addressed again.
“You’re very quiet”, said Leslie over lunch the next day.
“I guess,” I said vaguely.
Leslie gave me that look that said she knew something was up. “How was your date with Rick,” she asked coyly.
“It wasn’t a date,” I replied without hesitation.
“You were awfully quick to defend yourself,” she noted.
I looked down at my burger and went silent. I ran my fingers through my hair, something I often did when I was nervous.
“I get the sense this has to do with Bill,” she said knowingly.
I sighed with resignation. I should have known she’d hit the nail on the head. I told Leslie about seeing him while I was with Rick, and how he’d wanted to call me.
“Well, you need to figure out exactly what you want with Bill, if you want anything at all,” Leslie told me.
I knew she was right.
“You could always tell him you’ll only see him again if I can be there too,” her voice sounded amused.
Remembering how their last meeting had gone I couldn’t help but crack a smile at the thought. “Somehow I don’t think he’d want that,” I replied. For a brief moment I recalled how Leslie had helped me set Bill up to get his “threesome,” and how terrified Bill had become when Leslie turned on him, threatening to let his wife know about all his antics. Leslie and I both laughed and I knew she was recalling the same thing. “I keep remembering what you said to me a long time ago Leslie. You told me my master was out there, and he was someone I already knew. I just can’t imagine you meant Bill, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean Rick either. I mean, I know you don’t know WHO it is but…,” my voice trailed off.
“No, it’s not Bill. I honestly don’t know who he is, but I saw it happening for you and I know it’s going to,” she told me.
After Leslie and I had finished lunch I went home and really thought about what I wanted. I remembered all the things I went through with Bill, the thrill of learning about domination/submission and hypnosis. How he’d taken the time to win me over, how fun the beginning of our relationship had been. He had put me in an apartment relatively near his office, so he could see me when he wanted to see me.
Then I remembered how he’d begun pressuring me to trance him. I remembered the accidental pregnancy and how he’d pressured me to have an abortion. I recalled him telling me to find him other women to trance. I remembered how he’d tried to manipulate me into having a threesome with him and another woman, who’d ended up being Leslie. I smiled to myself at the memory of how it all backfired on him.
Still, there were things I’d liked about being with him the other day. Bill wasn’t the only one who’d gotten aroused. Of course, Bill wasn’t the only fish in the sea and my sexual experience with Rick had been yummy too.
Bill didn’t waste a lot of time calling me. He wanted to see me and he wanted to do it soon. He was like a persistent child at times, sort of cute but kind of annoying at the same time. Where was all this enthusiasm when I’d wanted to see him? Still, I felt this need to figure out what I wanted and I decided that being with Bill was the best way to figure it out.
I invited Bill to come to my place, deciding I’d feel more in control there. I told him I would make him dinner. I was unsurprised when he agreed without hesitation.
I used Leslie’s recipe to make lasagna. While it baked I put on a pretty dress I owned. It was made of light green cotton and displayed my curves nicely, while still being modest. Whatever I did tonight, I wanted to look my best doing it. I left my hair loose around my shoulders, and applied just the smallest amount of lipstick to my lips. I was satisfied with my image in the mirror.
When I heard the knock at the door, I opened it up to find Bill. He looked nice tonight, in khaki pants and a polo shirt. I saw him give my appearance an appreciative look.
“You are right on time, dinner is almost ready,” I told him. “Can I get you a glass of wine?” I offered. I was thrilled when he said yes.
I led him to the couch and then went into my kitchen to get the wine. I poured two glasses and stared at Bill’s for a minute. I glanced at the sleeping pills on the counter. I’d pondered putting them in the wine, but now that the moment was here, I decided against it. I went in to hand him the wine, then set about getting dinner on the table. Once accomplished, he and I ate while making small talk. Clearly neither of us was talking about what was on our minds.
After dinner we sat on my couch together. I had no idea what I was going to do. We talked about how he was getting along with the divorce. We talked about his business and my classes. Then there was a pause and our eyes met. I felt uncomfortable, and then I heard him say, “sleep now.”
I couldn’t believe it when I felt my eyes close and my body start to melt into the couch. The old trigger still worked on me. I tried to hold on to my thoughts, but it felt so good to just let go. I’d had a few phone and online trances, but none in person. I had missed it, even more than I realized. No words to read, no phone to keep on my ear, just relaxation. But did I want this? It was so hard to think, and his voice was saying things to me that I wasn’t quite comprehending.
His hand touching caressing my hair was a bit startling, but it felt good. I felt myself drop even further, natural even. I’d done this a thousand times, why not a thousand and one. His hand trailed down my face and neck, moving down my body to rest on my thigh. At that, something else stirred in me. My eyes opened up and I looked at him. I was still groggy but definitely coming to, wondering what I was allowing him to do. I could tell he was startled.
“Bill, that don’t impress me much,” I said in a firm voice. Deciding to take advantage of him being off guard, I continued. “You didn’t really come here to hypnotize me, that was just you falling into old habits. You came here because you want to go under for ME. Sleep now!” I commanded.
To my delight I saw his eyes close, his body slumping into the couch. I couldn’t believe it had worked, but I had taken the upper hand in this situation. Now I just had to decide what to do with it.
“Bill, I want you to relax, deeper down for me. You know this is really why you came here, to experience the other side of hypnosis again. You wanted to do this with me, and now you can give in to that desire. Sleep deeply, slip faller, and listen to my words, do you understand?” I whispered.
“Yes, ma’am,” said his sleepy voice .
My voice got low and seductive, as my confidence grew, knowing exactly what I wanted to do with him. “You must follow my every command, knowing how good it’s going to make you feel, the pleasure you will experience.” I watched as his pants began to bulge. He was anticipating, which meant he was going to agree to anything I asked. I couldn’t resist, I lightly stroked my hand over that area of his pants. I was rewarded with a small moan.
“Bill, give in to me, give me what I want, and do as I say. Let me make you feel good with suggestions that will bring you a warm feeling inside of you. Let me remove the last of your evil goo, and bring you to the good side…where it feels so good to be good. Ok Bill?”
He murmured in agreement.
“Bill, never again are you to use your hypnotic abilities to try and manipulate someone to do something that is clearly against their will. Remember that your subjects are people too, with real feelings. We are not robots (I groaned internally as I recalled his fascination with robots) but real, living, breathing, human beings and you wouldn’t want us any other way. Isn’t that right Bill?” I said with an air of command.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
“Very good Bill. Now, because you are being such a good, agreeable boy, I will tell you that following these suggestions is going to enable me to finally forgive you completely for your treatment of me. My forgiveness brings you peace, but more importantly, it brings me peace. Knowing this makes you feel good about yourself.”
I had surprised myself with going in this direction. “It is time for us to put this in the past where it belongs, and move forward. When I awaken you, you will be ready to do all that I asked and will be so happy with how good it makes you feel.”
Slowly I whispered him awake. He gave me an uncertain look when his eyes opened.
“Bill, I’m ready to let go. I wish you nothing but the best, but I don’t want a relationship with you. That ship came and it sailed away a long time ago.” I put his hands in mine as I continued to speak. “We had some really good times together, and I am going to choose to remember those more vividly than the bad ones, I hope you do the same. Be happy.” Softly, I kissed him on the cheek.
Bill smiled at me, and it seemed to be genuine. “Thank you Mandy. I won’t say I’m not disappointed, but you are probably right. I have to ask though, does this have anything to do with Rick.”
“I’m going to choose not to answer that,” I said, deciding that my reasons weren’t his business.
“Ok, I’ll respect that. Thank you for dinner,” he said.
“You are welcome,” I replied.
Bill started to open the door to leave when I touched him on the shoulder. “Bill, this has shown me that I can move past things and not feel the scars too much. I am glad we ran into each other, and I truly forgive you for what happened between us in the past.” As I said it I knew I meant it, and this is why our paths had crossed.
“Thank you for that,” he said quietly, and then he was gone.
I sat quietly for a while, pondering what had just happened. Finally I picked up the phone to call Leslie. I told her what had happened.
“I feel so peaceful Leslie, like I’m ready to move on,” I said.
“That is wonderful Mandy. This needed to happen, so you could finally see the one you’ve been blind to all this time.”
“You think that is why I haven’t found him yet?” I said, surprised at this revelation.
“I know it is,” she said confidently. “You had to really put Bill behind you to move ahead, the time is here and it will happen soon.”
I felt a tingle when she said that, and I suddenly knew it to be true. “You are sure I know him already?” I questioned.
“Mmm hmmm,” she said coyly.
My mind wandered again to who it might be. Then I decided to let it go for now, it would happen when it was time. In the meantime, life was good. I had Leslie, Rick was back, and school was going well. Life was good enough for now.