Under
“And that’s the last of ’em!”
I stood up after what seemed like forever, tucking a flyaway of mahogany that had fallen free in front of my glasses behind an ear before admiring the tall lamp that pulled the living room together at last. “What do you think, Damian?”
My beloved boyfriend stood there, thoughtful, arms crossed and nodding his approval. He blinked once at me, and then again, before the all-too-familiar smile I came to love crept across his lips and dimples fell across his cheeks. I felt giddy when he smiled at me, even now. “It’s perfect, babe. Can’t believe we finally got to move in together. Jeez, it feels like an eternity.”
“Four years.” I corrected. Four years and a million rocky arrangements later, I found myself standing in the living room of the cosy one-bedroom apartment that we finally managed to rent. Together.
Just the thought sent a happy tingle down my spine as I bounded over to where he was standing, before turning on my heels to admire my work for myself. See, his eye for design may have been lacking, but we complemented each other like that—that is to say, I liked doing up things, and he liked admiring the things I did up. It was a real win-win situation, especially considering the house we owned was sleek from the top-down; I had always been a fan of open spaces, lavish and plentiful counters, and everything chicly minimalistic. The furniture in our new home was comprised of dark woods and steel and glass, just the way I liked it.
“Four years, and I finally get to live with my girlfriend. Life finally seems like it’s taking an upward turn. Figures, we’ve been fighting for so long. We almost owe it to ourselves to let loose and have fun tonight, right?” he smirked at me, grabbing me by the waist and tickling me up and down my sides so much that I had to push him away whilst fighting off a fit of giggles.
“Stop!” I pounded my fists playfully against his chest, which only made him tease me more. “And what kind of fun are you even thinki—is it pizza? Oh my god, did you get us a pizza?”
“You’re always thinking with your stomach, Audrey.” Tsk tsk. It was useless to assume that he wouldn’t call me out. Before I felt myself pout, he reassured me with that same smile, the light from the new lamp flecking gold confetti across his hazel eyes. They shone with a mischievous light. “If you must know, yes, I have ordered a pizza. But, you see, it said it would be delayed by forty minutes. God knows why, because I sure don’t. So that means an hour and a half until it gets here. I’m sorry in advance, Impatient Miss. Still, that’s not the fun I was thinking about.”
He shifted a little. Maybe it was because of the quizzical look I had plastered across my face, but he seemed nervous, trying to play it cool like he always did. It was almost as if he was opening his mouth to speak, and then closing it again, but finally cleared his throat and spoke before I accused him of his idea of fun consisting of him pretending to be a goldfish.
“Audrey.”
I froze immediately. “…why are you calling me that? I’m ‘babe,’ remember? You only call me Audrey when—”
“Listen, listen. You know I love you, right?” here he shook his head, ease creeping back into his features. When he smiled at me, I knew it was genuine by the way little crinkles appeared by his eyes. Seeing him smile always made me so, so giddy…
“Yes!”
“Then there’s been something I’ve been dying to do with you. I mean, if you’ll let me. Do you trust me?”
“Oh my god. Is this a marriage proposal? Because if it is, I haven’t done my nails, and oh god, I look like a mess, and—”
“Audrey!”
I yelped. “Sorry, sorry. Continue. I’ll shut up. …sorry, babe. Yes, I trust you.”
“Good.” He wrapped his arms lovingly around my waist, and I settled into his chest. Breathing his scent in, I realised that he was wearing my favourite cologne. The one that I had come to associate with him, smelling like somewhere between a pine forest and a crisply burning woodfire, but richer, and more alive. “Audrey, I love you more than anything. Let me preface this by telling you that. You’re amazing, you know that? Setting up the whole apartment. It’s taken us a whole week to move everything over, but we’re finally here, right? Can you believe it?”
I hung onto his voice. He had brought it down, to a whisper just loud enough for me to hear. “I can’t…” I caught myself trailing off. The very thought filled me with such warmth.
“You’re really tired, aren’t you, after all that?”
I nodded, head cocked to the side slightly and mouth opening as if to ask something, before he silenced me with a quick peck on the lips.
“Then why don’t you come relax on the couch with me, baby?”
His movements were calculated and gentle as he guided me to one of the couch-chairs. It wasn’t the three-seater, and it wasn’t the love-seat, but one of the two armchairs. I was a little confused, thinking we would put on some Netflix on the big telly and cuddle until the pizza arrived, but he sat me down with a grace that I could just not object to. Lithely, he moved away, and then back behind the chair and placed his hands on my shoulders. They were warm, and strong, and the slate-coloured velvet armchair began to feel more like quicksand pulling me in as he rolled my shoulders around, stretching and kneading in all the ways he had come to learn I liked best. Somewhere, my nose caught the whiff of vanilla and caramel in the warm air of the room. Cold autumn could stay outside; inside here it was warm.
“You’re so stiff. So tired…my poor darling.”
“Yeah, it was hard work, haha.” My words fell flat, awkward and space-filling. It was obvious I was disarmed by his pampering. My eyelids flickered once, and then twice, but I couldn’t fall asleep. Even if it had been what seemed to be the longest day this whole year. Even if it was so comfortable, to be there, and be doted on, by the love of my life…
With more feline quietness and poise, he moved before me again, kneeling so I could look down at him at semi-eye level. He cupped his hand at my cheek, staring me right in the eyes, before continuing to speak. “Aren’t you sleepy, Audrey? Isn’t this so nice, here? Can you believe we can finally be…happy?”
“Happy…” I repeated, looking into his eyes. God, they were so beautiful. Four years, and I still could just not get enough of them. It felt like I was floating, and weightless, when he looked at me like that. Mesmerising, flickering, dancing light…
“I’m so happy I can…be here with you.” Some part of me wanted to protest and insist that he call me ‘babe’ but it was a part that grew smaller with each word that he spoke. They felt like honey; smooth, and rich, and almost all flowing into one, big, beautiful word together.
“Exactly, Audrey. Sleepy, beautiful darling. Oh, you don’t realise how long I’ve been meaning to do this…”
“To do what—” I began, body stiffening a little. He caught on immediately, and I could have sworn he bit his tongue.
“Nothing.” He supplied hastily. “To live with you, I mean. It’s so amazing. You’re so amazing.”
Not one to deny praise, I nodded my head with a sheepish laugh. Was he acting weird? It didn’t feel like it. Somehow, it felt like the most normal thing in the world. All I could see was him, and all I could feel was his hand, on my cheek. My eyes tried to pick a point to focus on, but the only movements were his eyes when he blinked, and his mouth. His lips, it felt like they disconnected from the words he spoke, suddenly a lot softer. Suddenly a lot less real.
“I want you to be happy, my beautiful Audrey. I want you to rest…can you do that for me? Relax, and just let go. I know you’ve been working so hard. So, so hard. You really have, haven’t you, my darling? You’ve been working so hard and deserve a good rest now.”
“So hard…” I parroted, settling back into the chair that began to feel more like a velveteen flytrap, and I was the helpless fly.
“You will relax for me, won’t you, Audrey?”
“Yes, of course, babe…” his eyes were on me. My own felt…heavier still. I suddenly realised the effort I was making to keep them open. His hand on my cheek was still so warm, and I was tempted to let my head rest against it. He was always so strong; he would support me…
“Good. My sleepy Audrey. Are you relaxed now?”
“Yes, babe…”
“And what if I told you that you could be even more relaxed?”
“Wouldn’t I fall asleep…?” still quirky to the end, I expected him to laugh but he merely smiled and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. He must have read the genuineness in my question like an open book.
“Not at all. Not exactly, anyway. What if I told you that you could be even more relaxed, without going to bed and sleeping until tomorrow? If I let you sleep now, you’ll never wake up in time for pizza. So, stay with me, mm? And relax. It’s just the two of us…you can finally relax. Relax, Audrey. It’s so peaceful to relax, isn’t it, with me?”
“Yes…Damian.” It was cloudy. I could smell cologne and vanilla-caramel candles. All I could see was my boyfriend, scruffy dirty-blonde hair and hazel eyes, charming as ever. He even removed my glasses and set them aside on the end-table by the armchair and reached behind me to pull my hair free from the messy bun it had been in all evening. Dark red-brown loose curls spilled down to the middle of my back and bounced, as if in gratitude. Blood felt like it rushed back to my scalp in a tingly, magical way. Maybe I had tied it too tight, because it felt like I was seeing black stars. It was…increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open. All I could see was him, and those eyes. His beautiful eyes…
“Come with me, Audrey. I’m going to talk you down, until you’re absolutely relaxed. I’ll count down from five, and with each number, I want you to let each part of you relax, starting from your toes all the way up to your head. Are you ready?”
“Yes…”
“Good. Five.”
As if like lead, my feet felt planted into the ground. My calves went slack, as if on command.
“Four.”
The feeling worked its way up, past my knees, until my thighs were out of my control too. But it felt so wonderfully relaxing. I had worked all day; I had earned this…hadn’t I?
“Three.”
There went my core. Each tiny ab-muscle unflexed, and I lay back deeper in the chair that wanted to just swallow me in.
“Two.”
Chest, and arms…no sensation. It felt so heavy. My arms were slack at my sides. So heavy, I couldn’t move them. But I was so relaxed, I did not want to move them…
“One.”
The neck, and then my head. My jaw fell unclenched subconsciously. My head began to fog up and go blank. There was this beautiful darkness…I did not want to close my eyes. I wanted to keep watching my beloved’s eyes. They were so beautiful. They were so…mesmerising. I could stare at them forever.
“Zero.”
And like that, all sensation dropped. The eyes I had been struggling for so long to keep open fluttered shut, and the last thing I heard was a tiny whimper from someone’s lips—were they mine?—before slipping away, into a state that I could not describe…somewhere, in the distance, as if fifty metres away, someone was talking to me. It was a warm, familiar voice. But it was so muffled and so far away. But it was so nice to listen to…
“That’s it. My beautiful Audrey, so relaxed…doesn’t it feel so wonderful? Don’t you want to stay in this state…longer?”
“Yes…” I murmured. The words felt unlike my own. My mind was slipping. Sentences were so hard, all of a sudden…
“I can make you stay here. I can make you come back here, Audrey. This is my little heaven, for you. Here, we can do just as we please, and be so relaxed. All I have to say are…hmm. What does it feel like, to you? So peaceful, so blissful…doesn’t it?”
“Yes…mhh.”
“Good. Then we will come back here when I say the words ‘Heavenly Bliss’ to you. But my dear Audrey, there are some rules about this safe space…you will listen to them, won’t you? It’s not hard, and all you have to do is relax. You don’t have to think, or worry…I can guide you here. I can be your master. Isn’t that wonderful? You can call me ‘Master’ while we are here. I want you to call me Master, in this wonderful place. Is that understood?”
“Yes…M-master.” It felt like reflex, coupled with choking on the words. My leg must have twitched.
“Good girl. Ah, I’ve brought you under, with the wonderful power of hypnosis. See, people don’t believe it is quite real, but the power of suggestion is a powerful thing indeed. It isn’t like the movies, but something a lot rawer, and…more decadent. You are so happy in this place, but I want to be happy, too. You want to make me happy, don’t you, Audrey? Don’t you want to make your Master happy?”
“Yess…Master.”
“Wonderful. Now, strip.”