The word in question
“In the end,” the young man in the seat next to Ray remarked as he frowned over an article in his magazine, “isn’t every answer just another question?” On any other day in any other train Ray may have ignored the mumbled comment. But it was today and the ride seemed to never really end. So on a whim she decided his concerns were as welcome a distraction as anything.
“I don’t think so. After all, a question would be what you have before you found an answer.” He looked up at her, confused so as if he only now noticed he was not alone in here. But then there arose a sparkle in his eyes as he spoke: “True. Though this makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If I found an answer, where did my question go?” “Wouldn’t that be inconsequential since it was solved?” “You just replied with a question. So technically speaking, this answer was but another question that sparks new thoughts, right?” Folding the magazine in his lap he continued as if talking to an invisible audience: “In the first place, questions are tricky things—but oh so intriguing. What really happens when we hear a question? Will it just slip us by, nothing but a short ripple in the air that tingles on the skin as it reaches us? Sound is exactly that—and since we can hear the question, is it not simply a varied assortment of sound waves rolling over our body faster than awareness can follow? Now that I believe does not pay attention to a certain detail about questions. Because even if the sensation of the tingling ripple on our skin goes unnoticed, our body still notices sound in a different way. It’s our ears, made to catch and redirect all kinds of sounds. So as you listen to me, it would seem only natural to me that your ears pick up on sounds. It may not only be limited to my words. There will surely be many different sounds all around you. But the question is, do they matter? Or is it simply a matter of selecting which sounds draw your attention in and how focused you are on these words right now? Since when our senses pick up on something, that in and off itself does not mean we notice it. Now I can see how you would question that. After all, it is easy to see that you notice my words. But that raises the question what happens when you pay attention to someone’s words?”
His finger rose to his head and Ray felt her eyes following the motion. “All these words turn into a signal that travels up to our brain. And here they do things, make something happen. The interesting thing is that something is constantly happening in here. Since no matter what we do or where we are, there is always something registered by some part of our mind. How lucky that almost all of that happens without even requiring a single thought. People do not need to be aware of the sensation as that cloth caresses skin, even though all day long we wear it on our body, undoubtedly sensation being transmitted to our mind. And I am sure you can just breathe like that without a single thought. After all, that much is only natural. Wouldn’t you agree so far?”
Ray nodded, vaguely wondering where he might be going with this. But at least it was pleasant enough to just let him talk. It was a nice change of pace during her train ride if nothing else.
“Now questions are a tricky thing because they slip into your mind the moment you find them. And just like all else they too make something happen there. The mind likes answers and clear decisions, so when we are presented with a question we will inevitably begin to think about it. Which is good, since seeking the answer to a question means doing something. Now this does make me wonder, is it not so simple to do something even if what you noticed was not a question but a sensation? Certainly, for me, the sound of a calm, steady breath might make me relax. As the sensation of warm clothes on my skin may well have my fingers absentmindedly touch this spot or that for a moment, just because they can. Well, that and because it might add to the sensation.” Ray nodded, but to be honest she was more concerned with the way her body tingled each time the fibers of her clothes brushed over an especially sensitive spot. Buying this outfit really had been the right call, after all. She felt so comfortable in it. His voice simply continued on all the same: “Given how natural it is for the body to react without thinking at sensations and sounds, I can’t help but wonder how easy it can be for the mind to let itself be guided by questions. How good does it feel to just follow these words, for example? It’s a clear question and that mind may find itself compelled to answer it already. But hold your thought for a moment longer. Do you recall that questions we find do things in our mind? So this one of course does, as well. Since thinking about the answer means you follow these words. And following these words feels quite natural and good. Which means you feel better than when you wanted to answer. So the mind may adjust the answer you were about to give. Which in turn is a reaction to the question. And therefore in a way you are following these words again, which feels even better now than a moment ago. Which means the answer will be adjusted again and again. As that mind finds itself intrigued by that question.”
Ray sighed. It just felt so comforting to let his words wash over her. She didn’t even need to pay attention right now.
“Of course, when the answer needs to be readjusted every time, then the answer itself is questionable. But that is actually just fine in certain situations. Sometimes instead of a clear answer there is only a question pointing us a certain way. When all we have to think about is only that question, nothing besides it just for the time being. How enjoyable does it feel for your mind to become empty of all but these words? Suppose I’d just asked you that, I am sure that even as you continue to follow these words your mind would find itself enjoying that you stopped thinking a while ago, just accepting for now. But even that in turn raises yet another question. What remains when thoughts are all gone? That of course is easy, but I can see how you may appreciate me pointing it out. Since normally, to find an answer means to think about it. But if I had asked you to enjoy being mindless, you would have stopped thinking to simply listen right now. Which means you aren’t thinking because it feels so much better to follow the questions in these words as I talk about them. And that is perfectly fine. Is it not so very nice that I am thinking for you about all these questions for a while? So when all your thoughts are gone what remains are the pleasure and these words as they lead you inevitably to a question I find myself rather drawn to. How horny does it make you to be mindless and obedient? Of course, if I had asked you this, your mind might feel a wave of sensual pleasure well up at realizing that right here, right now, you find yourself captivated by what I tell you. I admit that not only questions but words in general can be very compelling indeed. Just imagine for a moment, how good that body would feel when there is nothing but pleasure. No thought to distract from it. Because all those thoughts are intrigued by the questions I might have asked you at some point later. The word in question here would be pleasure. Just that word alone does something in minds—yes, even empty one’s—and so the pleasure from feeling pleasure may add to the pleasurable sensation of being mindless right now. Naturally, how much pleasure you feel whenever you notice me using that word may be just right for you at that moment. It could be just a lovely tingling feeling, a reminder of what the word pleasure can mean at the right time in the right place. Or perhaps to your body the word pleasure signals wave after wave of sensual stimulation that has you excited and aroused. Minds are amazing like that, reacting to words only in a way that feels safe and reasonable at the time. Isn’t it wonderful how that can still result in being horny and aroused right now? And to think you get to feel so very good simply from following these words for a while, no need to do anything else. Oh, of course feel free to let those hands roam and touch wherever it feels best for you. I’m sure if I asked you another question that mind of yours would find itself reacting to it either way, so that is just fine. While you are busy with that, I actually wonder about something. ”
It was a strange kind of exciting to be so hyper-focused solely on what held his curiosity. Listening to him was so intriguing that whatever interested him right now seemed like the most important thing in the world.
“The thing that I find the most fascinating is how a good question can linger in our minds longer than any other word. Maybe it’s because our mind naturally questions its own decisions? Or maybe it is simply the fact that questions are so good at guiding us in a way that feels right? Whichever the case may be, it makes me ask myself if it would be indeed extremely enjoyable to no longer bother with decisions at all. And simply obey without question. Sounds so good, doesn’t it?”
Ray couldn’t deny it even if she’d wanted to. Her mind felt filled with wool, fuzzy and fluffy and unfocused. How fortunate that only his words still managed to reach her so clearly. Part of her felt lost in a fantasy, a blissful and exciting dream. Yet at the same time part of her realized a dream was all it was and she could wake up, even right now if that felt good to her. Coming up and awake from this wonderful dream of questioning even the idea of free will. The part of Ray that dreamt however loved how easy it made things, even if only for a while. With her head swimming from all those questions she didn’t feel like she could answer even just one of them by herself, but she didn’t need to. He would tell her. Just like he told her that she would enjoy obeying his questions a bit longer still. Or how maybe she would even love to spend the night at his place? And continue her travel in the morning?
It wasn’t before he gently placed the straps of her luggage into her hand, beckoning her to walk after him that on some level she became aware that it had become not even a question anymore. They were actually leaving the train. But even as she tried shaking the fuzzy feelings she couldn’t really muster a sense of urgency. It was just all too fascinating to wonder how soon they would be at his home. What would he ask of her once they were there? And just how much pleasure would she feel while she did exactly as he asked?
Ray could barely wait to find out.
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