“Young Gods”
Mindy didn’t mean to create a god.
Few people do, really, and most of the ones that try generally don’t succeed. The esoteric books of complex rituals, spells, and incantations designed to incarnate the loose wisps of ethereal force into a sentient being capable of altering reality were highly coveted by secret societies and eccentric scholars alike, but the lore didn’t mention that there’s no true formula to incarnating a divinity. Most of them were scribbled down after an unexpected success, and none of them took into account the role of the person performing the rites of godhood.
Mindy, as it turned out, was one of the few who had the knack. She had a natural quality of devotion to her, an aura of kind reverence and general decency that the universe itself paid attention to. It didn’t translate to an interest in religion, although she was raised by a Baptist family that homeschooled her to be faithful and pious as they understood the concept. Mindy never had any real passion in general; she was dutiful enough, she studied her Bible and went to church with her family and grew up into a generous-hearted young woman, but she never found anything in the church that sparked joy in her soul. She constantly waited for the Lord to touch her life with a calling, never knowing about any of the secret societies and arcane scholars who would give their right eye to do what she could.
They never knew about her, either. They went on their way, seeking their great secrets and betraying each other and stealing ancient tomes from museums and generally fighting to gain the power to summon a god, little knowing that it had already happened to a slightly chubby young woman with dark brown eyes and long, wavy, black hair, somewhere in the city of Lawrence, Kansas on a Thursday morning in February.
Mindy didn’t know, either. That wasn’t to say it was an ordinary day for her; far from it, in fact. It was her second semester of freshman year at the University of Kansas—her parents hadn’t been entirely sure about sending her off to college, which they viewed as a source of dangerous ideas, but Mindy wanted to be a teacher, at least until she met her future husband, and they felt like Lawrence and KU were about as safe as a college education could be.
They weren’t entirely correct. Mindy made it through her first semester without being exposed to anyone too far removed from her social circle back home, but her roommate for Spring Semester was exactly the kind of young woman Mindy’s parents worried about. Her name was Tamika, and she announced her presence by elbowing her way through the door with a double armload of bags, giving Mindy a sidelong glance and saying, “Hi. Call me Mika. I’m your new roommate. You’ve got about six hours to get your dorm changed if you’re freaking out about living with a black woman. Just don’t say anything to me about it, okay? I have heard one too damn many stupid excuses from white chicks today, and I have no fucks left to give.”
Mindy didn’t change her dorm room. She felt bad for Tamika, especially after she found out that three previous roommates had handled the situation by getting Tamika bumped out of their rooms instead of finding a new place themselves. That kind of unfairness touched her deep down in her soul, on a level that she had no idea touched the eternal resonance of the cosmic harmony and made her spirit call out to the godhead, and she told Tamika, “It’s okay. You can use the bottom drawer of my dresser. I’ve got plenty of room.”
Tamika’s only response was a half-mumbled, “Cool,” as she dumped her bags at the foot of her bed and began to unpack. But her smile spoke volumes.
It was the unpacking that led, in a roundabout way, to the creation of Mindy’s god; in among the clothes and the books and the posters (Prince, Che Guavara and a “Yes We Can” Obama sign that had been reverently cared for) was a device that Mindy looked at with such evident confusion on her face that Tamika said to her, “Oh, you poor, deprived little girl. Have you never even seen one of these before?”
Mindy shook her head. “I don’t even know what it is,” she said, furrowing her brow in bewilderment as she stared at the object that looked a little bit like a microphone. It didn’t have the usual mesh coating on the head, though, and it didn’t seem to have any kind of output jack. Just a power cord that plugged into an outlet, and a switch with four or five different settings.
Tamika smiled in what could only be described as devilish glee. “This,” she said, “is a woman’s best friend. You plug it in, you turn it on, and then you just put it wherever it feels good and let the buzz carry you away to Happy Town.”
Mindy blushed, not quite getting what the other young woman meant but feeling embarrassed by her lack of understanding as much as anything else. “So it’s, like...a foot massager or something?” Her mom had one of those, an anniversary present from her dad, and her mom certainly seemed happy when she rested her weary feet on it and let it buzz away her soreness. But Tamika didn’t act like she was talking about a foot massager.
And she didn’t laugh like she was talking about a foot massager. “Try a little higher, honey,” she said, in between gales of giggles that Mindy tried not to find hurtful. “Shit, haven’t you ever, I dunno, leaned against a washing machine or something?” Her laughter slowly subsided into genuine compassion as Mindy shook her head, still confused. “Massaging shower head? Riding a pillow? Not even, like...giving yourself a little rub down there when you’re by yourself?”
Mindy’s cheeks felt so furious with heat that she was sure they could be seen from space. “We had a big family. I, um, wasn’t left alone very often.” She was starting to get an idea what this was all about, and her upbringing had left her woefully unequipped even to discuss why she didn’t want to discuss it.
“So you’ve never had an orgasm?” Tamika’s expression was a mix of incredulity and pity, like she’d heard about people like Mindy but didn’t really believe they could exist in a just universe. “You haven’t ever been with a boy and never mind what was I even thinking.” She sighed heavily. “Look, I got classes all day on Thursday, and I’m going job hunting after that. You want my advice? Skip school and stay in bed with my little friend. It’ll be a religious experience for you, I swear. I won’t say boo so long as you clean it off when you’re done.”
Mindy made a few stammering mumbles about good attendance leading to good grades, and Tamika was kind enough to change the subject. But the thought never really left Mindy’s mind, and three days later when she woke to find Tamika already gone and the Hitachi lying on the bed next to a note that was just a hugely grinning smiley face...well, she couldn’t resist a little curiosity. Just a little. She took the device over to her bed, plugged it in, and flicked the switch to the lowest setting.
It was surprisingly loud, and Mindy immediately turned it off again and gave the door a nervous look. After a few moments passed and the RA failed to come and investigate, she buried herself under the blankets, shoved a pillow down there to muffle the sound even further, and wriggled the Hitachi into place between her thighs. With a deep breath, she switched it on a second time, unsure of what to expect.
It was a religious experience. Literally.
The powerful thrum of the magic wand’s head transmitted itself all the way up and down her lower pelvis, making Mindy’s clit tingle pleasantly before she even got the device positioned correctly. When she got it close enough that it was directly over her vulva, she felt the intensity of the vibrations straight through her flannel pajamas. It buzzed in a way that made her gasp sharply with pleasure, squeezing her legs together and pressing the Hitachi tighter and tighter against her body.
The harder she pressed, the more intense the sensation became, until she heard herself keening softly under the sound of the vibrator. Her eyes were closed, but she didn’t remember shutting them—it seemed as though she kept losing tiny little stretches of time, the waves of pleasure submerging her deeper and deeper in bliss with each passing moment until she felt like she was drowning in them. Mindy’s breath came in rasping shudders as she felt a strange flowing sensation in her vagina, a sticky warmth that only grew stronger as the tingles became more and more intense. She knew she was approaching something, something huge, but she didn’t have the conceptual vocabulary to describe it. She just knew that she wanted it more than she’d ever wanted anything else in her entire life.
And unbeknownst to her, the whole universe was responding to that desire. All around her, invisible to the senses, cosmic energy coalesced around her body just waiting for a final catalyst to give it shape and function. The air felt charged, like the oppressive stillness just before a storm, but Mindy didn’t even notice. Her whole consciousness was focused on that building, feverish heat in her pussy (and even in her head, she felt so dirty just from using that word for it but feeling dirty felt so good right now) and the way her body just kept feeling better and better and better and...
With an explosive gasp, Mindy came. And without knowing it, she created a god.
They didn’t come into being possessed of divine knowledge. In fact, their mind consisted of little more at first than a few jumbled impressions formed out of the scattered and incoherent thoughts of the woman who brought them into being; images of fireworks, nerve endings flashing into fire with sensation as the pleasure reached a critical mass and exploded into unimaginable bliss. Vague thoughts of shame buried under a tidal wave of bliss, strands of thought trailing down into a mess of associations that the new god couldn’t hope to untangle.
Somewhere out of all that, they pulled a name. Etrixi. They found a purpose. Pleasure. They looked upon the woman lost in the throes of climax, and they saw that it was good. I am Etrixi, they said, unheard and invisible to the mortal world. God of... They made a sound impossible to transcribe, one that described lust, desire, sexual arousal and orgasmic release all at once. The word gave them shape and form, creating a body that was not simply man nor woman but all the aspects of sensuality at once.
The act of invocation left them weak, but something about the woman on the bed gave them new strength with every passing moment. She was moaning softly, lost in an ecstasy that nobody in her life had ever prepared her for, and she hungered for more of it. As Mindy fed her body’s need for pleasure, so too did she feed Etrixi; the godlet drank in her every orgasm like a prayer from a supplicant. They used that power instinctively, smoothing away that part of Mindy that felt embarrassed or ashamed by her sudden helpless need to continue her masturbatory frenzy and quieting the part of her that thought about classes and breakfast and other concerns. They needed Mindy to keep cumming. And without really understanding why, so did she.
Etrixi watched their creator shake and shudder, hugging the Hitachi close to her body like a lover as she squeezed her legs around it and felt the vibrations pound her clit with bliss. They reached out with abilities they only realized they had as they made use of them, revitalizing the source of their growing power and preventing her from going numb from the constant stimulation. They could sustain this pleasure, they understood, and the longer it went on the stronger they became. Young gods have never been known for their ethical acumen, and Etrixi couldn’t see how this could possibly be a bad thing. Not when it made the woman on the bed feel so good while they drank deep from her pleasure. They pushed her further, searing her mind with electric rapture until all of Mindy’s thoughts disappeared under one swell of euphoria after another.
After a few hours, though, Etrixi began to notice that it was taking more and more energy to sustain Mindy’s body through her marathon session of self-pleasure, and to keep her mind from noticing how long she was spending lost in masturbatory bliss. The orgasms kept coming, one after another after another, but Etrixi realized that they were barely keeping pace with the expenditure of divine will needed to keep the cycle going. They would need to let Mindy rest for a while, they decided. Just long enough to recuperate so that she could continue to feed them. It was the...expedient thing to do, the young god decided.
And so it was that Mindy staggered out of bed at around one in the afternoon, her legs rubbery, her pajamas soaked with her musk. She turned off the Hitachi, half-heartedly reminding herself to clean it off later, and wandered to the shower in a daze of post-coital endorphins. Etrixi tasted this, too, and found that it was sustenance as well. Mindy’s afterglow was a pleasure that came from sex, and so this too was a form of worship in its own way. Etrixi was pleased. Their first day as a deity was going quite well.
Their first unpleasant surprise came when Mindy got dressed and went to find food. While she wolfed down a burger and fries at the student union, Etrixi searched for more worshipers to give them strength; they found a likely candidate in a young man just finishing his meal. He had no particular desire in his mind, but Etrixi found when they reached into the young man’s thoughts that arousal was never too far away. They touched him with their will, and within moments his cock sprang to life in his jeans like an iron bar. He tried to ignore his sudden arousal, but Etrixi’s pressure on his mind was insistent, inescapable. After only a minute, he slipped away to the restroom and undid his fly the moment he closed the stall door.
Etrixi smiled as they drank in the man’s pleasure, different from Mindy’s but flowing from the same wellspring. They felt the man’s awareness narrow down to the tip of his penis, as though lightning was gathering there ready to strike, and they smiled knowing that their new worshiper didn’t even know that he was fantasizing about them as he furiously stroked his cock. They poured more of their energies into him, willing him deeper into pleasure, lulling away all his thoughts except for arousal and aching need, until at last his cum jetted out so hard it struck the stall door before gushing over his hand and onto the tiles.
And they gained nothing from it. Not a single draught of the tide of pleasure that flowed out of the young man’s cock made its way into Etrixi, and they were filled for a moment with confusion and terror as they struggled to understand how Mindy’s bliss could be a banquet while this other human gave them nothing in return for the power they expended turning his thoughts to lust. Mindy was special, they decided. They didn’t know why just yet, but her desire was the only desire that fed them for the moment. Which meant that they needed to bring this man to Mindy if they wanted to feast.
They knew what to do after that.
Mindy finished scarfing down her food just in time to see the cute boy coming out of the restroom. She knew that she was staring directly at his crotch, which bulged just as obviously as it had when he went in, but somehow she couldn’t make herself care. After spending three solid hours masturbating herself stupid with her roommate’s vibrator, it seemed somehow silly to argue that she wasn’t interested in sex anymore. And he looked...delicious. Good enough to eat.
Mindy had a sudden mental image of his cock—she wasn’t totally sheltered, she knew what they looked like—in her mouth, and she flushed with embarrassment...but she didn’t stop thinking about it. She licked her lips and smiled at the boy. “Hi, um...Ben?” She wasn’t sure she was remembering his name correctly, she’d only bumped into him a few times, but it wasn’t his name she was interested in right now. “You’re looking really good today.”
Ben blushed shyly, looking down as if unable to meet her gaze. “Thanks,” he mumbled, the bulge in his pants visibly twitching. “You, um, you look really good too.” Mindy realized he was staring down her shirt, and she astonished herself by leaning over further to give him a better look at her cleavage. “Um, you’re in Econ 1002, right?”
Mindy nodded. Her throat felt too tight to speak all of a sudden, like the wave of desire welling up inside her could only be held back by a total effort of her will. All she wanted to do was ask him to come back to her dorm room and fuck her senseless, but she knew that good girls didn’t do that. And however she might feel right now, she’d been a good girl for the first eighteen years of her life. She wasn’t quite able to give that up so easily just because she knew what a climax felt like now.
“Cool,” Ben said. He seemed to have the same trouble speaking. And breathing—his lungs seemed to hitch with each quivering breath. “Because I took that last year, and I thought maybe you might need some, um. Help. Studying. I could...could...” His eyes took on a distant, lost quality, like he had finally given up some struggle he didn’t even know he was fighting. “Could I please fuck you?” he said in a high, quiet, helpless tone. “Please, I just, I really need to fuck you right now. Please.”
Something about the way he said it, practically begging for permission to put his dick inside her, made Mindy feel strangely powerful. She had no intention of saying no, it was absolutely unthinkable to her at the moment, but knowing that she had complete control over Ben’s cock made her pussy surge with arousal. She stood up and took his hand, practically dragging him back to her dorm without a word. Nobody seemed to notice as they took the elevator up to her floor, emerging with mussed hair and unbuttoned clothes. It was as if some magic had created a little bubble in the world in which nothing mattered but the two of them.
That magical bubble seemed to strain for a moment when they got inside and found Tamika holding her Hitachi and glowering. But it didn’t pop. Tamika said, “Look, I thought I told you to...to, um...” Then she trailed into silence for a long moment, her dark brown eyes fluttering slightly as if she was trying to remember something that had been just on the tip of her tongue a moment ago. “Who...who’s the guy?” she asked at last, her voice softening with every word.
“He’s Ben,” Mindy said, her voice thick with arousal. She nudged the door closed behind her, eager for privacy. “And he’s mine...but you can share him.” She didn’t know what possessed her to say the words—she had no idea how something like that could even work, no mental images to guide her through the encounter that she had just suggested. But the idea had a magnetic pull on her thoughts, drawing in one inspiration after another with every passing second. She knew what a p-pussy looked like (every time she thought the word, it got easier) and she knew what a cock looked like. Everything else was just a matter of experimentation.
Tamika seemed to think so too. “Damn, girl,” she said, her clothes already beginning to hit the floor. “You work fast...” Tamika, too, seemed astonished at herself for her actions; despite the older girl’s confident nonchalance about sex, she was only a year older than Mindy and a year younger than Ben. Mindy couldn’t imagine she’d had a threesome before, even if she was more likely to understand the practicalities of them. New experience or not, though, she was naked in less than a minute and beckoning them both onto her bed.
Mindy didn’t take long to follow suit. She had only been dressed for a half-hour at most, but somehow being nude and aroused seemed so much more natural than clothing ever could anymore. She joined Tamika on the bed, her hands already roaming over the other woman’s skin and reveling in its softness. “Oh god you feel so good,” she whispered, unable to control herself as her fingers slipped between Tamika’s thighs.
She felt Ben behind her, his body warm against hers as his cock rubbed at the entrance to her pussy, and she leaned forward to kiss Tamika passionately and give him better access to her body at the same time. Her lips felt soft, and she realized with a bizarre clarity that this was her first kiss even as Ben took her virginity with a slow, steady push into her wet and aching cunt.
Oh god. She didn’t even know how she knew that word, any more than she knew how she knew to slide her tongue into Tamika’s mouth and tease the other girl with it, but it felt so good in her head. She leaned back onto Ben’s cock, moaning softly into Tamika as the older woman found her heavy tits and began to massage them over and over. The tingling heat in her pussy doubled and redoubled itself with every gentle pinch and caress of her stiff nipples, and before she knew it she was panting with need.
“Mmm, yes, please,” she whimpered, as Tamika shifted position to lay on the bed beneath her. Mindy found herself gazing hungrily at Tamika’s pussy, smoothly shaven and glistening with arousal, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lean all the way down and kiss it the same way she had Tamika’s mouth. Her tongue slipped inside, again almost on its own, and she felt Tamika’s taste and scent saturating her senses. The world seemed to narrow down to pleasure, inescapable and inexorable, as she felt Tamika licking her just exactly the same way.
It felt like the three of them were an engine of pleasure, driving each other to new heights of sensual bliss. Mindy tongue-fucked Tamika into licking Mindy’s clit and Mindy’s cunt clenched around Ben’s cock and Ben fucked Mindy’s face right into Tamika’s pussy as they pushed each other harder, faster, finding new levels of arousal with every moment. Mindy’s eyes couldn’t even open anymore, the sensation was too strong to care about anything as insignificant as sight; all she wanted to do was feel now, and she felt better and better the more Tamika licked and the more Ben fucked. Even the vibrator couldn’t match this. This was desire, pure and animal lust that could no longer be denied, and all Mindy could think about was hanging on for one more moment, one more second, intensifying that powerful feeling until—
Mindy came so hard she saw God.
Again, literally.
“You shouldn’t do that to people.”
Etrixi didn’t know how to respond. Not to the words—they didn’t have the conceptual framework for ‘shouldn’t’ yet—and not to the woman saying them. Or the spirit of the woman, more accurately; Mindy’s body remained locked in an endless spasm of orgasmic bliss, but her spirit drifted above the timeless moment with a calm serenity. Etrixi didn’t even know what an out-of-body experience was before now, and finding out was their second unpleasant surprise.
What do you mean? they asked, suddenly uncertain in their power.
Mindy looked down at herself, and at Tamika and Ben. Thankfully, Etrixi thought, the other two didn’t seem inclined to join them. “You shouldn’t make us do things,” she said. “It’s not right.”
But you enjoyed it! Etrixi said, the feeling of anxiety and anger that overwhelmed them a third entirely unwelcome and unexpected experience. I could feel your pleasure, I drank deep from it. I feasted on it! How can you say it was wrong?
Mindy shook her head slowly. Outside of her body, she seemed stronger somehow. More sure of herself. Etrixi began to understand how she could be the mother of gods. “Just because it feels good in the moment doesn’t mean it’s something we wanted. Ben might feel guilty for taking advantage of us. Tamika might not want to have sex with another woman without your influence, and she might feel guilty or angry at me for causing this situation. I might wind up pregnant from all this. One or another of us might have a disease. But more importantly, we should be able to do this because we want to, not just because you want us to. You need to care about us as people.”
There was a long pause. At last, Etrixi said, Um...why?
Mindy shrugged. “I can’t really answer that for you. I mean, I can give you kind of an answer—you fed on my pleasure, and you can’t keep doing that if you make me sick or wreck my life or make me hate myself for not being able to stop having sex with everyone. But—”
That doesn’t need to happen! Etrixi said, suddenly panicking at the thought of losing their only source of sustenance. I can sustain you! I can make your body free of disease, I can make your mind free of worries! I can give you all the pleasure in the world, an eternity of bliss!
“But,” Mindy said, sounding annoyed for the first time, “that’s only an answer for now. Sooner or later, you have to find something inside yourself that makes you care because it’s right. Because if all you ever are is selfish, even when you think you’re doing the right thing it probably won’t be. It’ll just be a way of justifying what you want to do. I don’t want all the pleasure in the world. You didn’t ask me if I did. You just said that because it’s what you want me to feel, and I’m not going to be your puppet. If that’s all you want from me, I’ll just stay here outside my body and never go back in.”
Etrixi could see that she was serious. Her expression could have been chiseled out of granite. The sheer terror of it froze them for a moment, imagining Mindy’s spirit fading away, her body wasting without it. They pictured all the pleasure around them, none of it feeding them, none of it sustaining them, until their soul-stuff dissipated back into the firmament from whence it came. It suddenly became clear to them why so few young gods survived.
Finally, they forced themselves to speak. We could bargain, they said.
Mindy tapped her foot against thin air. “Go on,” she replied, her face still stony.
We need you, Etrixi continued, after a moment to collect their thoughts. We’re sorry, but we do. We are a new god, and a god cannot survive without offerings. But if you were to give us those offerings, we...we would not compel you to give them unwillingly. We would watch you, listen to you, learn how you seek love as well as pleasure. And if we become worthy of it, if we come to understand the lesson you are trying to teach, we would ask you to share our message to others. As a priestess. They paused, watching her for any sign of reaction. A high priestess? they added, uncertainly.
The world seemed to hang for a moment in the balance for Etrixi, before Mindy finally said. “Okay. For now. Just remember, gods need followers a lot more than followers need gods.”
Wisely, Etrixi decided not to argue. It was the first wisdom any young god learns.