Holding Darkness Within
Sollipsist
7.
“I know, Mom, I miss you too but I really need this time to catch up,” Ian was saying, on the phone in the kitchen. Caitlin listened and toyed with her necklace, while pretending to read an anthology of Edwardian literature. Various versions of the same conversation had gone on recently. Each of the students had decided not to travel home for the Thanksgiving break. They rationalized, with much validity, that they were behind in their coursework and required the week to catch up in their studies. What none of them actually said was that nobody wanted to leave the house.
Caitlin looked over and saw Heather passed out on the couch. The blonde was undoubtedly the worst offender; by the time the vacation started, she’d been skipping classes almost every day. A good portion of her free time was spent sleeping, or trying to sleep, or drifting in and out of consciousness...even in the middle of conversations with her housemates. When she felt more active she cleaned the house with a single-minded passion. Caitlin had been amused at first, and then concerned, and now she simply accepted Heather’s occasional blank periods or bouts of sleepwalking- which could happen at any time of the day.
Caitlin was far more concerned with her own recent discoveries. She’d let her quizzing-glass soak in the frothy glass-cleaning muck for days, suffering from an almost childish anticipation. She kept the pot that it was sitting in outside on the piazza, where the sweet, sickly chemical smell became a constant source of conversation by anyone entering or leaving.
She was initially devastated when she finally wiped off the cream. The glass was much clearer, but still not completely transparent. When she put it up to her eyes, tiny cracks and pits refracted the light in strange ways. Her first glimpse through it, at the front lawn, showed vague colors and hints of forms but nothing more.
Still, it was almost as mesmerizing as the kaleidoscope she’d owned as a child. It was almost impossible to hold the thing steady, and even the slightest movement send bending shafts of color and illusions of movement across the small lens. Holding it close to her eye, with the other squeezed shut, Caitlin began to grow accustomed to the sense of disconnected vertigo it created. She even began to enjoy the feeling. Watching the formless but suggestive colors and glints of light consumed a surprising amount of her time.
Ian hung up, looking dejected but also sheepishly victorious. “Well, she’s not happy, but I think she understands.”
“Good,” said Min. “Now I want you to go and disconnect the stereo for me, please.”
“Disconnect...” Ian repeated, questioningly.
“I’m gonna have you move it all over to the corner by the kitchen. So I can run the headphone cord into the confessional, silly. How cool will it be to listen to stuff in there? All dark and comfy, hearing nothing but the music.”
“Like an isolation tank,” Caitlin said distantly, looking through her glass again. “I get it.”
“Come on, come on,” urged Min. Ian shuffled over to the stereo and began pulling out wires and untangling connections.
“He’s a very good boy,” laughed Caitlin.
“Yes, he is,” Min smiled.
While Ian carried the components over to the far corner and began to reassemble, Min moved over to the sofa. She sat down on the edge, in front of Heather’s reclined body, and began to play with the sleeping girl’s hair. Heather’s face softened into an unconscious smile. “Sweetie?” Min called softly. “You should go up to bed.”
“Maybe you should let her just stay there,” Ian said, as he passed with the turntable. Min flashed him a silencing glance, and he lowered his head and continued walking.
“Sweetie?” she whispered again, and leaned in close to Heather’s ear. “Be a good girl and go up to your bed for me.”
Ian and Caitlin, out of earshot, were amazed to see Heather slowly sit up and rise to her feet. Without a word, the blonde girl left the room and climbed the stairs.
“Good job, Min,” said Caitlin. “I can never get her to wake up once she’s out.”
As soon as Ian was finished with the reconnecting, Min had to try it out. She disappeared with her headphones into the tiny room, leaving Caitlin and a slightly out-of-breath Ian alone in the dining room. He flipped open a textbook and grabbed a highlighter, but soon found himself staring blankly at the pages.
He was thinking about Heather. Neither one had mentioned the afternoon romp in the weeks that had passed, and Heather had behaved as if nothing had changed. No, that wasn’t quite accurate- Heather’s attitude was changing, noticeably, but it seemed that very little of it had to do with him. The poor boy was discovering that he wasn’t quite as casual about the situation as he’d expected. It wasn’t that he was falling in love with her, he reasoned, but the sex had been so good that he wanted more. He’d half hoped that he and Heather could remain friends and still have sex. However, the blonde had made no overtures of any kind, and had not given him the slightest encouragement when he’d obliquely tried to bring the subject up. And, to make matters worse, his cock was in a state of semi-erection nearly all the time now. Ian vaguely wondered if he had some medical condition.
He looked across the table at Caitlin. In his aroused state, he was more receptive to her beauty. He saw her now as he’d never seen her; the long thick waves of mahogany hair, the big intelligent liquid eyes framed with dark lashes, the full humorous pout of her lips. He stared at her downturned head, watching the small movements of her face as she read, and the way her long slender fingers caressed the silver necklace that she always wore now.
Caitlin looked up, caught his eye, and smiled. He blushed, and looked away quickly. “What am I doing?” he thought to himself desperately. “This isn’t me, I’m not shy. Why can’t I just make a pass at her? I’ve done it hundreds of times.”
He thought briefly of going to one of the local bars, looking for a quick pick-up, but the idea of leaving the house seemed like far too much trouble. First he’d have to shower, and change his clothes, and then go all the way out to his car...nope, better to stay.
Ian tried hard to focus on the pages in front of him, but he couldn’t remember exactly what the subject was. He was halfway through the textbook and he had to turn back to the beginning to remember that it was for a Sociology course. Even the pictures were confusing.
Caitlin could tell Ian was agitated. She saw him fidgeting out of the corners of her eyes, and heard the nervous tapping he did with the plastic highlighter on the wooden top of the table. She felt she should try to console him, somehow, but it was an irresolute concern. Her eyes were locked on the book in front of her, but her mind was full of strange thoughts and visions. She’d had so many ideas and inspirations lately that she stopped trying to write them all down; one notebook was already full of them. In the past few weeks she’d been getting more and more exotic with her imagery, and often worked herself up to blinding orgasms with her newfound talent for erotic description. Her earlier crush on Ian she dismissed as a prelude to a much richer and more complex sexuality. He was just a boy, whereas the things in her visions were more than men...
Ian may have sensed her disinterest, or simply failed to overcome his own nervousness; in any case, he’d had enough of the torture of sitting so close to her in silence. He rose, mumbled a farewell, and fled up the stairs to his bedroom. Once safe inside, he tried to calm his nerves with a little weed, scraping the resinous remains from his bowls and collecting the dust from the bottoms of old dimebags. He hadn’t cared enough to track down fresh supplies, but these days his pot intake was severely reduced anyway. This was just a final hit or two, to relax his jangling nerves.
It didn’t end up helping much. The confusion in his head mellowed a bit, but the urgency of his lust remained. He thought of just trying to jerk off, but some odd and almost moral barrier stopped him. It was as if someone didn’t want him to do it, and he required that someone’s approval.
Min was loving her new set-up, cocooned in dark velvet with rapturous music filling her head. She’d set the CD changer to random repeat, so she figured she had hours if not days worth of music to keep her going. With her eyes shut, suspended by soft firm supports on all sides, and transported by intense sounds, she was already half in a dream world before she let go of her consciousness. Perhaps she didn’t even realize, or care, when she crossed that borderline.
She saw herself, a childlike innocent, as she must have looked the day the four of them had moved in. Bouncy, goofy, fun, she carried her first box of belongings up to her new bedroom in the big old house. Cute little Min turned the handle, and opened the door.
Min was already on the bed. She was just a little older, but just look at the change...this new Min was sultry, powerful, and irresistible. She waited like a spider for the young Min, dressed in skintight black leather with cruel blood red lips and dark knowing eyes painted with an exotic black flourish. The young Min dropped her box and clasped her hands to her mouth in shock. The old Min laughed and rose from the bed to approach her. The young Min, terrified, tried to turn and run...but the other’s eyes had caught her, frozen her in place.
“Poor dear,” new Min purred, stroking the girl’s face with a shiny gloved hand. “You want your friends to help? They can’t. Nobody can help you.”
Heather drifted in through the door, sleepwalking, softly caressing her breasts as she flowed to the new Min’s side. The blonde knelt and rubbed her head against the new Min’s tight leather catsuit.
“You see?” said new Min, taunting the young Min. “I can make them love me, need me, obey me. What makes you think they would help you at all?”
“Please, don’t...” whispered the girl.
“Do you want to leave?” new Min asked Heather.
“Oh, no, mistress,” cried the blonde girl. “Please don’t make me leave you. I’ll do anything, just keep me. Keep me!”
“See?” new Min said. “It’s really wonderful, to give in so totally. I started by visiting her at night, when she slept. Kissing her. Touching her. She loved it. I whispered little things in her ear as I tickled her cunt. Little by little, she came around.”
“You’re horrible,” said the scared little Min.
“Yes,” new Min agreed. “I always have been, haven’t I? Making out with all those girls and sucking off all those boys, tsk tsk. Little Min, you just wanted to shut them up, didn’t you? You just wanted boys and girls to do what they were told. To dance and perform for you. Like you do with Ian and Heather here.”
“That’s not true!”
“No? I suppose it wasn’t you who kept shoving your fingers in and out of her cunt, over and over, while telling her to obey you? That wasn’t you who put her so far under a trance that she’s never really going to wake up ever again? That wasn’t little Min who forced her to eat your pussy again and again, even though she was crying for her mommy and begging you to stop?”
“Don’t say those things,” sobbed young Min.
“Shh, it’s okay,” soothed new Min. “You are so much happier being me, aren’t you?”
“I’m not you!”
“Take a good look,” new Min said. “Raise your pretty little head and look at me.”
Tears pouring down her cheeks, the young Min looked up. She intended to spit, or curse, or deny any connection with this horrible, nasty woman. But their eyes met, and the little Min gasped.
“You are so beautiful!” she whispered. “So strong, so...”
“That’s power, young lady,” laughed new Min. “That’s delicious, decadent power. As you are now, you’re cute. And funny. And nice. I’m sure you could find a nice boy to settle down with and bore you to tears, and maybe even have a secret guilty affair or two with a woman to keep you satisfied. But you could have so much more...”
“What do I need to do?” young Min asked, breathlessly.
“Eventually, I’ll need a sacrifice,” new Min said, offhandedly, “but I think for now you should just drink.”
“Drink?” the young Min repeated.
“Drink,” new Min stated firmly, lowering a gloved hand to her leather-clad crotch and unzipping. Her pussy was glistening, shaved bare and partially encircled with a tattoo of a stylized bird of prey. “Drink,” she commanded again.
“Drink,” moaned the sleeping Heather.
Young Min looked up at her own face, so beautiful and evil, and nodded slightly.
“Drink,” she agreed, and leaned in for the first electric touch of her tongue.
Ian stomped down the hall to Heather’s room. In his muddled and agitated state, he considered dozens of possible ways he could convince her to satisfy his pounding desires. To his shame, he even considered trying to take her while she slept. He could feel the insistent, insidious drive of his lust nagging at him, threatening to drive him mad.
He halted just outside her door. There were voices inside. Several voices, in fact; he could hear Heather’s Jersey accent, and what might have been Min’s voice laughing, and another female voice that sounded familiar but forgotten. There was also a lower-pitched sound, a vibration that could possibly be a deep male voice, but any enunciation was muffled by the closed door. He tried to hush his breathing and leaned his ear against the wood to listen.
“...not long now,” said the unknown female voice, soothingly.
“It hurts a little when I’m awake,” Heather’s voice said.
“You’re almost done with the flesh,” said Min’s voice. “I still have a little ways to go.”
“Have they enjoyed me enough?” asked Heather. “I think I could have done more.”
“There’s still some time,” said the unknown girl’s voice. Ian had the nagging feeling he could recognize it if he thought hard enough.
The deep voice rolled like distant thunder; Ian could feel the vibrations in the pit of his stomach. “We have learned much, felt much from you. The warm pleasures are sweet, and to be savored...but you will find no lack of love or joy amongst our number, when the others are spent.”
Ian turned and ran down the stairs, stumbling a little but catching himself on the rail. He dashed into the dining room, making sure that Caitlin was still where he had last seen her. The brunette raised her head and looked questioningly at him.
“What’s wrong?” Caitlin asked. Min stepped out of the confessional, her headphones resting at the base of her neck.
“Did something just fall down the stairs?” she asked. Ian gaped at her.
“...I thought you were upstairs?” he said, confusedly glancing back and forth.
“No,” Min said, looking at him with humor (and disdain? he wondered briefly).
“Did anybody come in? I mean, is there anyone else here but us?” he asked.
“No...what’s up?” Caitlin asked. “Did you have a nightmare or something?”
“I heard voices,” he said lamely, not wanting to admit he’d been eavesdropping. The girls burst out laughing. “No, really...from Heather’s room. There’s someone else in there with her.”
“Ian, really, nobody else is here,” said Caitlin. “I would have seen anyone come in; I can see both doors from here.”
“Let’s go up and check it out together,” offered Min. Ian thought of her voice coming from inside the room and hesitated.
“Listen, it sounded kinda weird, I don’t know if...”
“Ian.” Min was smiling, but her voice was firm. “You and I can look in on Heather on my way to bed. We’ll make sure she’s okay.”
“Yes,” said Ian, without thinking. Min took him by the arm and walked upstairs with a smile.
“Goodnight, guys,” called Caitlin.
“Don’t worry, sweetie,” whispered Min into his ear, as they climbed the dark staircase. “Everything is all right.”
Something about her voice and touch calmed Ian’s nerves, and allowed him to be led. His mind, however, was still confused and frightened by the strange things he’d heard, and he couldn’t help feeling a rising apprehension as they neared their housemate’s bedroom door. Min knocked lightly. “Heather? You up?” she called softly.
After a moment, the door slowly opened, revealing Heather’s blinking face. “Hey guys. What’s up?”
“Ian thought he heard something in your room,” Min explained.
“Huh?” she replied, yawning. She pulled the door open wider, and turned on the light. “Maybe I was talking in my sleep. Come on in if you want, check it out.”
“No, that’s okay,” Ian said. “Maybe I was really just dreaming or something.”
Min pulled him in. “Let’s just make sure,” she said. “I’d feel much better about it if we had a big strong man take a look around, wouldn’t you, Heather?”
“Whatever,” she answered, sitting back down on the bed and rubbing her eyes. Min closed the door, checking the area that it had concealed.
“Nope, nothing there,” she said, with a smile. “How about the closet, Ian?”
Ian took a quick look into Heather’s closet, not really expecting to find anything. “Nope. That’s cool, everything’s okay,” he said, moving towards the door.
“Hey, don’t forget under the bed,” called Min. “Anyone could be hiding under there.”
“Okay, okay,” Ian said, gritting his teeth. He was starting to feel like a fool. He lowered himself to his hands and knees and pulled up the frilly bedskirt. “I don’t see anything.”
He froze. Someone had put their hand on his ass, and was squeezing lightly.
“Okay, joke’s over,” he started. He heard the girls giggle. Three of them. He whipped around, still on his knees.
Heather was still on the bed, staring at him. Min was still over by the door (blocking it? he thought).
“What’s the matter?” Heather asked.
“Who touched me?” Ian demanded. The girls traded a glance.
“Nobody touched you, Ian,” Min said.
“I think I know what this is about,” said Heather. “Min, Ian and I...well, we did it. Had sex. A while back, like a month ago or something. I’m sorry; it was probably a dumb thing to do.”
“Oh, really?” Min said, with a smile.
“Since then I’ve felt bad because I think Ian kinda wanted something more...is that right?” she asked, looking at him.
Ian felt even more foolish, kneeling on the floor while they discussed their history. “Well, maybe, I don’t know...”
“Oh, come on, Ian,” Heather coaxed. “Don’t deny you’ve been giving me little puppydog eyes ever since then.”
“I didn’t even notice!” exclaimed Min. “You sneaky little dog, you!” She smiled and leaned back against the door.
“Listen, Ian, it was great, it really was,” said Heather. “I just can’t see doing the whole relationship thing, though.”
Ian was at a loss for words.
“For one thing, I’d have to ask Min’s permission, first,” smiled Heather. “She owns me now, you see.”
“Huh?”
“Oh yeah,” Heather said, closing her eyes. “I belong to Min. It’s so wonderful,” she said, reaching out her arm to the other girl. Min took her hand and came to stand next to her. Heather rubbed her head affectionately along Min’s hip.
“So you see, I couldn’t just go and let you fuck me, even if I wanted to,” Heather continued. “Not unless Min told me it was okay.”
“Dude, this is kinda fucked up,” breathed Ian, starting to rise.
“I didn’t say you could stand,” Min told him. He snapped back to his kneeling stance. The two girls laughed, delighted.
“Oh, Min, do you have him too? I didn’t know,” said Heather.
“This is way fucked up,” Ian shook his head. “Nobody ‘has’ me.”
“Oh, really?” Min asked. “Well, go ahead then. Stand up and walk out of here, if you can.”
Ian tried to force his legs to straighten, but they felt like cast iron. His veins bulged with the effort he was expending, but he couldn’t manage even the slightest twitch of his muscles. He stopped, breathing hard, and glared back with mounting fear at the two girls who looked down at him with kind faces.
“What else can you make him do?” Heather asked. “Can you make him cum, just by looking, like you do to me?”
“I’m not sure,” answered Min. “Let’s try it.”
She ordered Ian to stand quietly in the middle of the room. She and Heather sat next to each other on the bed, holding hands and giggling while he stood stone-still with a burning face.
“You’re pretty hard already, aren’t you?” asked Min. “Why don’t you take off your pants so we can see. I know it’s old news to Heather, but I’d still like to see what you’ve got.”
Ian wordlessly unbuttoned his jeans and let them slip with his boxers to the wooden floor. His cock stood out, not fully erect but not soft either. Heather gave Min’s hand a quick squeeze.
“Not bad,” Min admitted. “I’ve had worse in my mouth. I’d like to see it get harder, though.”
To Ian’s shock and shame, his cock stiffened and expanded to its fullest. His breath caught in his throat.
“What was it like, sweetie?” Min said, addressing Heather. “Was it good?”
“Yeah, it was,” she replied. “Nothing like what you do to me, but the boy can fuck.”
“Hmmm,” Min pondered. “Ian, would you like to fuck Heather again, while I watch? You may answer.”
Ian almost sobbed. “I just want to leave. Just let me get out of here.”
“Aww, that’s not very nice,” chastised Min. “Didn’t you like fucking pretty little Heather here? She’s such a willing little slut, aren’t you, sweetie?” Heather nodded, smiling.
“Ian, your cock is so fucking hard right now,” purred Min. “You are dying to just shove it in some nice wet hole, aren’t you? You may answer.”
“Please, let me go,” he said, tears forming in his eyes. “You guys can do whatever you want, I don’t care...I won’t tell anyone...just let me go.”
“Ian, Ian,” sighed Min. “I’m giving you everything you want. Two hot girls, no responsibility, just hard fucking all night long. Are you a man? Can you refuse this? You may answer.”
Ian began to blubber. He didn’t understand any of this, he was scared and tired and horrified at how his cock persisted in staying rock hard while the rest of him was a having a breakdown. “Please?” was all he could say, his throat heaving with sobs. “Please.”
“Well, Heather, I think you may have made a bad choice,” said Min, feigning disappointment. “He’s really not much of a man, is he?”
“Oh, love,” Heather replied, “don’t be too hard on him. Remember how hard I cried before I understood?”
“What do you suggest, my little white trash whore?” Min asked, lovingly.
“You could let him come.”
“All over your floor?”
“Ewww. Okay, maybe not. Well...you could give him relief another way.”
“What way?”
“Give him to them.”
“Ooooh. Now there’s a thought.” Min tapped her chin with a thoughtful finger.
“I kinda expected to go next, but he’s so unhappy right now.”
“I could make him be happy,” Min pointed out. “Twist his brain a little, like I did with you.”
“Yeah, I know...I don’t know if that would work out for him. I had you to take care of me while I faded, and you’re gonna be going pretty soon too. That will leave him alone with Caitlin...I don’t think she’s the type to make the most of it, like you did.”
Min pondered for a minute, with the other two watching her- Heather with rapt adoration, Ian with desperate terror. “You’re right. He’s not going to come to them on his own, after this; it’s either take him now or let him go. If we let him go, he’d probably run out the door and eventually end up like that gross landlord- always wanting, always afraid. I can’t do that to him.”
She clapped her gloved hands together resolutely. Almost beyond more surprises, Ian was nevertheless startled to see that Min was suddenly dressed in sleek, skin-tight black leather, and Heather was wrapped in an almost transparent white gown.
And they weren’t alone anymore.
The walls of the room were still visible, but only like a projection of walls upon a giant stage. Beyond, a large audience sat in rising circular rows, an excited murmur coming from them like a wind through autumn trees. Ian saw ranks of faces lit by lust and laughter watching the young trio. In baffled, horrified shame he looked back to the two girls for some kind of normalcy; they’d been joined by a gorgeous girl with strawberry-blonde hair, dressed in a gown of shimmering green trimmed with tiny white flowers and blood red berries.
“Hi Ian,” Terri said, almost shyly. “You don’t have to be frightened anymore.”
When she hugged him, he felt his control return. Incredulous, he let his arms wrap around her and felt her soft belly pressing against his erection. She felt real. “Terri?” he whispered. She pulled back and looked into his eyes with a playful but slightly sad expression.
“Min really worked you over, didn’t she?” Terri laughed, kindly, and waggled an admonishing finger at the leather-clad girl. Min playfully snapped her teeth at it. “Well, that’s her thing. Everyone gets to do their own thing here.”
“I don’t understand,” Ian whispered.
“Silly...we’re ghosts. All of us. Min and Heather aren’t, yet, but they will be soon. Don’t worry- they want it. It’s a very desirable state, trust me.”
“I don’t wanna die!” he protested.
“I know,” Terri answered, looking at him sadly. “But you will. And when you’re with us, you’ll understand that it’s kinda fun to take someone who doesn’t want to be taken.” Her grasp on him tightened.
“Let me go!” he said, trying to break free. Her grip was effortlessly firm.
Thousands of tiny, invisible icicles were penetrating his flesh, and he gasped. It was like jumping into a cool lake on a sweltering day; his heart lurched and his breath shriveled up in his lungs. Terri pressed close against him, basking in his aroused body heat with a delicious sigh.
“Shh,” she soothed. “You’re about to feel so good...”