Holding Darkness Within
Sollipsist
8.
“Heather?”
“Yeah?”
“When was the last time you went to class?”
“I don’t remember.”
“I think it’s been weeks since I went. I’m not even sure what day this is.”
“Mmm.”
“I think I don’t really care anymore.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I could spend the rest of my life writing what I’ve thought up here. What do I need school for, anyway?”
“Is that all you want to do...write?”
“That’s what I like doing best.”
“Does it satisfy you?”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean...isn’t touching better than writing about touching?”
“Well...sometimes. Hey, what are you doing?”
“Do your characters ever touch you like this?”
“Stop it. You’re being weird. And your hand is cold.”
“Do you like writing for its own sake, or do you wish you were in the stories?”
“Both, I guess. Hey, I said stop...”
“If someone gave you the choice of being a great writer or actually living in your stories, which would you chose?”
“I don’t know...my stories are pretty wild.”
“Are you scared of them?”
“A little, lately.”
“Why?”
“Uh...I guess because I’m really surprised at the stuff I can think up.”
“Like there’s another person inside you, who thinks things you’re afraid of?”
“Yeah...kinda.”
“And you’re scared because you’re starting to understand them?”
“Yeah. It’s kinda like how the bad guy is always more interesting than the hero.”
“Maybe you could try to be that person...just for a while...just to get a better idea of what it’s like.”
“Oh, no...I could never be like that...you don’t know the things I’ve thought of.”
“Maybe not, but I’m very, very interested.”
“Heather, cut it out!”
“Sorry...I thought you might like it.”
“You know I’m not like that. And what if somebody saw us?”
“Who? Min? I don’t think she’d mind.”
“Or Ian. Where is he, anyway? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Oh, he’s around. I talked to him earlier. He’s feeling a lot better.”
“I wish I was. I must be coming down with something; I don’t have any energy. I can’t even get up off this couch.”
“Get a little rest here, then. You’ll be all right.”
“I do feel very sleepy...”
“Would you give me one little kiss before I leave you?”
“Oh, okay. If you promise you’ll take your hand out of there and let me sleep.”
“See...hands free. Now kiss me.”
“Mmm.”
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Good night, Heather.”
“Goodbye, Caitlin.”