Holding Darkness Within
Sollipsist
9.
He had met her at the train station and brought her the rest of the way in his coach. She tried to talk to him about the new horseless carriages she’d seen in Boston but he was distant, even agitated. He looked quite pale, and had lost weight since she’d last seen him. He tried to explain that he was eager to get back to the house, eager to show it off to his bride-to-be. He smiled at her, but she was strangely unnerved by the feverish glint in his eye.
The house was beautiful; the style was quite daring, at least for this remote wooded town. It looked very new, standing tall and alone on a hill with the ancient mountains in the background. He proudly showed her the rows of saplings newly planted in the dark rich soil. “One day, the house will be completely encircled by trees,” he said.
“Like a castle on a hilltop,” she replied.
“My dearest, I know you prefer city life,” he said, “but once you spend some time within these walls you will never want to leave.”
“And she was never heard from again?” said the skeptic. His companion, a well-dressed New Yorker, nodded. “The authorities investigated, of course, and some sort of foul play was suspected, but no traces of them were ever found. Even the servants and temporary workers that he had boarding there simply vanished.”
“An incredible story,” said the skeptic. “And you top off this tale of dire deeds by telling me we’re attending a séance of some kind at the very house. How dreadful.”
“The medium comes highly recommended; she’s a student of Blavatsky and a member of the Golden Dawn.”
“How could anyone, in these enlightened times, believe such nonsense? It’s the new millennium, Howard. Science and reason have triumphed over superstition.”
“I have profited greatly from science, but only because I know its limitations. Much of science is merely recognizing what has always been with us, but buried. I suppose you disdain Freud, as well?”
“To the extent that dreams can be interpreted, no. But you agree with him that dreams can be communications from outside the self? Preposterous.”
“How preposterous must the telephone have seemed, just fifty years ago? Now many people have them, even in their homes.”
“Will there be one at this house? Maybe hidden, under a table?”
“This is why I’ve brought you, Arthur. Once we weed out the charlatans, the truth will be plain for even you to see. Remember what that Doyle fellow wrote about the impossible.”
“Now there’s a chap I’d like to meet. Why don’t you introduce me to him, instead of all of these mystics and theosophists?”
“I guarantee tonight will prove very entertaining, even for a man of reason such as yourself. If for no other reason than several of the attendees are rather charming members of the fairer sex.”
“You’ve used that argument before, Howard. I find little of value in the affected, privileged dilettantes that usually flock to these soirees of yours.”
“Madame, don’t...”
“Hush, silly girl. If you wish to remain here in my employ, you will do as I say.”
“It’s sinful...I’m a married woman, a mother. Not one of those city girls, who listen to jazz phonographs and smokes cigarettes.”
“I know, my pretty. I’ve had enough of them already. That’s why it’s so sweet with you.”
“No...madam, please...oh...oh...”
Caitlin woke, already rubbing herself frantically. It was the dead of night, and the moans in her dreams seemed to echo in the silence that filled the house. Her gasping orgasm drowned them out.
Dreadfully thirsty, she dragged herself out of bed and stumbled slowly into the darkened hall. No sound came from her housemates’ bedrooms. When had she last seen any of them? Min had winked at her before closing the door to the confessional behind her...yesterday? Last week?
Caitlin reached the kitchen, wrinkling her nose at the smell from the refrigerator. That old food should be thrown out sometime. She promised herself to get around to it in the morning. The water was clear and cold. She shivered, and was surprised to see white snow coating the ground outside the kitchen window. Snow, already? Wasn’t it just Indian summer last week? I should put on a robe or something, she thought. She looked down at her nipples, hard and purple, and the silver circle that dangled between them. I don’t feel all that cold, though, she realized.
She set down her water and picked up the handle of the quizzing-glass with numbed, bluish fingers. Smiling childishly, she put it up to her eye and squinted. The view had been getting clearer lately. It didn’t always show what she expected, though.
Out in the snow of the backyard she saw that a lilac tree was blooming. The beautiful white and purple petals drifted lazily down to the virginal snow. Caitlin could almost smell the lovely, homey fragrance. That’s odd, she thought distantly, I thought they only bloomed in the spring. And isn’t that sunlight on the leaves? I thought it was the middle of the night?
A telephone rang for nearly ten minutes straight. Caitlin thought of church bells, the bells that rang for her and her pale husband when they were wed on the night of June 18th, 1897. No, that’s not right...they were more like the bells that rang in 1942 as she attended the service for her young daughter, whose body was never found. She was going to investigate what had happened to her. Her first stop was the house her daughter had been renting with those hippie friends of hers...no, that wasn’t right, either. What was she doing?
She was answering the door. It was that big healthy Officer Williams. But why did he look at her that way? Surely he wasn’t afraid of her, a little college girl without any clothes on. He was so warm-she could feel it from the other side of the door. She wanted to wrap herself in that warmth.
Why wouldn’t he come in? Caitlin could sense that he wanted to, desperately. She saw his eyes try so hard not to look at her breasts, her damp pussy. She tried to tell him that there was nothing to be afraid of. He asked her where her friends were. “In here!” she replied, happily. “Everyone is in here.”
She held the door open for him and he entered, slowly and cautiously. He mentioned that she might be more comfortable with something on; she said she was fine. Didn’t he think she was fine? He didn’t answer, but Caitlin could tell that he did. She could tell that he was getting aroused just standing there.
Officer Williams said something strange about her classes. She replied that she was sorry she’d missed a few days, but she’d been involved in an independent study project. It was very time consuming, but she’d learned so much about history, and architecture, and psychology, and so many things. She offered to show him what she had been working on. He declined, and said that he’d like to take her to get some help. That she was a very sick girl, and that she needed immediate attention. She agreed wholeheartedly with the last part, but suggested that he could help her right then and there.
Caitlin tried to put him at ease with a friendly hug, but was a little confused and hurt when he backed away quickly. She asked if he didn’t like her and he replied that he did, but that she was acting irrationally. She laughed. She told him that people always acted that way when they were in love. He asked who she was in love with, and she laughed again.
Heather whispered in her ear, telling her that men often liked to play games. Min agreed, and advised her to tease him a little. Ian suggested that hide-and-seek would be perfect, and Terri added that she knew the perfect place. Caitlin said “Tag!” while tapping him lightly on the arm, and then ran giggling down the hall.
Officer Williams cursed under his breath, and followed the fleeing girl. He didn’t expect any kind of ambush, but he drew his revolver all the same and made sure to check around every corner. Whatever these kids were up to, it was unpredictable...if it was drug-related, as he suspected, it could become violent. The details of the kids who had disappeared were still too mysterious for him.
He heard her footsteps grow fainter. She’d gone through the kitchen; he was a little surprised she hadn’t bolted out the back door, but her mental state was obviously not rational. She had looked pale and tired, and spoke crazily, with a wild gleam in her eye that Williams took as a sign of high fever. He ignored the fact that he’d also felt a powerful, unreasoning desire for her. You’re just responding to the girl’s nakedness, he explained to himself. Just a gut reaction as a guy. He couldn’t actually be attracted to her, not in this state.
He paused in the stairwell, wondering if she’d gone up or down. The dim light of mid-winter afternoon was barely seeping into the main floor, and the basement would be even darker. He unsheathed his flashlight, and tried to find the best way to hold it and the gun at the same time.
The basement was not as dark as he’d feared, but he made slow progress. He checked every possible direction and illuminated every dark corner. If anything illicit had been going on down here, the evidence was well-concealed.
“Caitlin?” he called. “Come out, now, game’s over. Don’t make this any harder on yourself.”
He heard her giggling, faintly. He moved quickly and quietly through the rubble and foundations, and found himself in a concrete corner looking into the darkness of a wide well. “Ah, Christ,” he muttered, hearing her laughter echoing faintly from the depths.
“Of-fi-cer Wil-liams,” she called. “Olly olly oxen free!”
Nothing in the law enforcement training had sufficiently prepared him for this situation. He reluctantly holstered his pistol and tried to hang on to the flashlight while finding his foothold in the spiraling steps that jutted out of the stone sides. After a few steps, he realized he should have radioed his situation to the station first, but now it would have to wait until he had his hands free.
“I think you’re gonna catch me,” called Caitlin. “You’re almost there.”
His foot slipped. His frantic scrabbling at the stone walls of the shaft slowed his progress, but he had a few second of freefall before landing painfully on the hard ground. He instantly jumped back to his feet, and swung the flashlight around while reaching for his weapon.
“What the fuck is this?” he said aloud. Whatever he had prepared to see at the bottom of the shaft, it wasn’t this. He was in the middle of an elegantly decorated ballroom, furnished with gilded furniture of expensive and antique appearance. Though windows lined the sides of the room, all view was concealed by thick drapes of crimson velvet, threaded with gold. It was very quiet, and lit only by flickering candles mounted in elaborate sconces along the walls.
At the far end was Caitlin. The officer, bewildered, saw she was dressed in an elaborate white wedding gown. Her neck and sleeves were fully covered, and the skirt billowed out impossibly, suggesting some sort of artificial framework underneath. Orange blossoms were arrayed over her flowing veil.
“I knew you’d come,” she called softly. “Why have your letters been so distant lately? Has your heart found another?”
“What is this?” he said, his voice trembling. He tightened his grip on the revolver and began to walk slowly towards her.
“Why, this is our wedding day, of course,” she answered. “The day we both have longed for has finally come to pass.”
“Caitlin, I think you’re very sick,” he said, trying to be calm. “I think you should come with me now.”
“’tis true, I have felt ill of late,” she replied, slowly. “Now that you are here with me, I know all will henceforth be well.”
“That’s right,” he nodded. “Let me take you somewhere where they can help you.”
“They can help me here,” she said. “They can help you too.”
“You’re not making any sense,” he said. “Just come with me, we’ll work it all out.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she replied hotly. “This is my house and no damned government man will tell me I can’t serve liquor in my own house, no matter what laws Volstead passes!”
Williams took her firmly by the arm, and looked for the opening to go back up to the cellar. There was none that he could see, and he began to feel the first creeping touch of terror as he furiously scanned the ornate ceiling.
“You are so strong,” she marveled, as he impatiently pulled her along in his increasingly frantic search.
“Where the fuck is it?” he yelled.
“Such language,” she admonished, letting him swing her around.
“How do we get back up?”
“Up?”
“Cut the shit, you know what I’m talking about. Where’s the way out?”
“Oh...I see. I’ll show you,” she said. He let her out of his grasp, and she straightened her crooked veil. “Here’s the way out,” she said sweetly, and lifted the up the lace. Her big dark eyes gazed at him with innocent, helpful concern and her full, parted lips stood out against the porcelain whiteness of her face. The young policeman thought that he’d never seen anyone as beautiful in his life.
Caitlin reached into the ruffled folds of her bosom and produced the quizzing-glass. “This is the key,” she said. “It opened the door for me and I think it can do the same for you.”
She raised the silver circle to her eye and peered at him through it.
He felt her eye on him like a ray of intense energy. Her gaze penetrated his skin, wrenched his fear and suspicion from him, leaving him quietly blank. His flashlight and gun fell from his limp hands and clattered on the ballroom floor.
“Officer Williams, will you marry me?” she laughed. She approached him, letting the necklace hang from her upraised hand and dangle back and forth like a pendulum. His eyes followed, as if hypnotized.
“You’re not really dressed for it,” she said, critical but smiling. “I think you’d better change.” One lacy gloved hand rose to brush the cap from his head, and stroke his blond hair. She leaned in and kissed him sweetly while removing his jacket.
“Caitlin?” he whispered.
“I’m here, my darling,” she breathed. She was unbuttoning his shirt. The smell of orange and lilac blossoms, sweet and heavy, filled his head.
“I don’t understand,” he said. She had undone his utility belt, and it dropped to the floor with a weighty thump.
“This is our wedding day,” she explained, as she unzipped. “I have spent my life waiting and saving myself for you. Soon we will be one.”
Williams tried to remember the events that had led him to this point. Something about her explanation seemed off. How long had he been engaged to Caitlin? Where were they?
Caitlin saw his wrinkled brow as she straightened up from pulling down the pants of his uniform. To bring his mind back to important matters, she began to caress his cock as she whispered in his ear, “I want you so bad, my husband. I’ve waited so long for you. I will be so good to you.”
Williams remembered how long he had waited for her. Very little else was clear to him, but he could remember spending long nights with her face and form in his thoughts. He knew only that he’d wanted her ever since they’d met, so long ago.
Her lacy fingers squeezed and pulled his cock to pulsing stiffness.
They kissed, passionately. Williams finally had to pull free, gasping for breath. Caitlin smiled at him as she spread out her flowing skirt and sank to her knees.
“My beloved,” she said, “I know so little. Please forgive me and help me to learn.”
Her mouth engulfed the head of his cock. Williams let out a grunting breath. Her eager tongue curled about his shaft as she took him in, deeply. He could feel the lace of her hands reaching around him, pulling his hips towards her. There was a roaring in his ears, a rustling crescendo.
She rocked her head back and forth, opening her eyes to look up at him. He stared back down at her, watching her cheeks hollow and billow as she sucked. Her fingers kneaded the flesh of his ass. She opened her lips wide and slowly pulled back until only the tip of her tongue was resting on his cockhead. A strained wheeze escaped from his tense throat.
“Am I good enough, husband?” she teased. Williams could only nod.
“They agree,” she said. Before he could question this, she stood up and met his mouth with another deep kiss. Her hands grasped his, and brought them up the front of her bodice. She held his hands to her breasts, and squeezed, closing her eyes with a low moan.
Her eyes popped open, glinting mischievously. “Close your eyes,” she demanded. He did. He could feel her move away, and heard the rustling of fabric, as well as the roaring, whispering wind. “Okay, look.”
He opened his eyes, and gasped. She was standing naked before him, her voluptuous body posed in a virginal offering. Around the edges of the ballroom, a large crowd of people were standing and watching. They were dressed with antique formality, but were applauding and raising their glasses in celebration. Williams looked wildly from face to face. He thought he recognized some of them. There was a lovely young blonde who nodded to him, as did her exotic, black-garbed female companion. One dashing young dandy with long hair toasted him with a smile, his arm around a slender redhead in an emerald gown. A young couple came up to offer their good wishes; the girl’s face was white and her lips and eyes were jet black. She thanked him for his kind efforts but assured him she was beyond all harm. It was all very confusing.
Caitlin approached him shyly. “It’s time, husband,” she said. She tugged him towards a raised bed, like an altar, in the center of the room.
“In front of all these people?” he whispered. It didn’t seem right, but he wasn’t quite sure why.
“Don’t you want me?” she pouted, lowering herself to the bed and tracing the outline of her nipple with a fingertip.
There was no need for an answer. Williams bent over the bed, and her legs curled around his torso, pulling him to her. Her hips lifted to meet his probing cock, and wriggled until he was deep inside her.
Caitlin gasped, feeling his hardness fill her. There had been the briefest moment of pain as he entered, but all was bliss now. Gently, lovingly, he began to slide in and out slowly, while the audience murmured their appreciation.
“Oh my God,” sighed Caitlin. “Oh, don’t ever stop. Never, ever.”
“I won’t,” he promised, with all his heart.