Memories Make the Man
Chapter 2
The keys... the keys... where in the hell did I put the wretched keys. I must be going mad, everyday for the past three weeks, I can’t remember all these little details that have been driving me to my wits end. Keys, phone messages, promised errand runs. Thank God it hasn’t affected my academic performance, but as its only two weeks into term, it’s hard to say if that’s a silver lining or a sinister foreshadow. Med school – not for the faint of heart... or soft of head, apparently.
“Erica, have you seen the keys?” I yelled down the hall, where she was catching an hour of sleep before her first class. A muffled grunt came from behind the door leading into our bedroom. Opening it, I asked again, urgently – my anatomy professor isn’t at all tolerant of tardiness, and he’s on the other end of campus. “Honey, the keys – have you seen them?”
“Same place as always, on the nightstand.” I looked over, surprised. “Well what are they doing there?” I asked, annoyed. “Dunno. You tell me,” came the irritated muffled response from the pillow.
Great, now you’ve pissed off the lady and you haven’t even gone out yet. It’s gonna be one of those days. And the thing is – she’s right. It all comes back, but I did dump the keys on the nightstand yesterday night, but this morning I must have just passed them half a dozen times without registering. Just like I did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before....
“Sorry love, I’ll get you get back to sleep.” I pressed a kiss into her hair, enjoying the quiet sigh as she drifts back off to sleep. Josh, you’ve still got it. It’s a gift. Relieved that I wasn’t leaving on a sour note, I headed out.
“Hey Josh!” I turned around, relieved when my impromptu companion was only Thomas. “Mind if I grab a ride, I need to head down to the med center, hoped you might still be around.”
I nodded, then decided I ought to just push ahead – try the whole male bonding thing. As great as it sounded, having a dorm full of all female undergrads was more of a nightmare than a fantasy come true, and as my brother in arms in the endeavor, Thomas and I we’re hitting it off. Of course, we’d been decent friends in high school before he moved away, so we’d never been exactly strangers per se – but it was good, being able to discuss batting averages and earned runs without having to explain that no, a grand slam isn’t an annual event at Macy’s.
With all that in mind, I took the first step. “Lucky you caught me actually, my mind seems to work like shit in the morning, losing everything. And then well, had a bit of a fight with Erica...” I trailed off, not entirely eager to air my dirty laundry. “Women.” The one word speaking volumes, even as I tried to pass it off as a joke. “So how’s Michelle?” That proved to shift his attention, if the goofy smile that broke across his face was anything to go by. “Great man,” he drawled. “A real demon.”
Like I said, we’ve been getting along great, but Thomas has less subtlety that an epileptic rhino at a disco. I smiled tightly, not eager to discuss just how much hadn’t been going on with me and Erica lately, and shifted the conversation once more, to the very safe topic of professors who had no concept of reasonable work loads...
... The morning passed soon enough – once you get into the groove of things, classes in med school are like getting hit in the face with a baseball bat after seventeen cups of coffee – painful, takes forever, but you just get high off the stress and the time flies by anyway. It’s a unique experience.
I had a break around two, and met up with Erica at a bistro in the heart of campus, the perfect halfway point between the complex of buildings that made up the medicine center and the business school on the other end of campus. I got there first, taking our usual outdoor table, and waited for my girl to arrive.
And indeed, what a sight for sore eyes she was! The last days of summer were upon us, and my fiancée was taking advantage of it. Strappy little shoes and tiny shorts that showed off her long, tanned legs, and a top that was just conservative enough that she didn’t look out of place, but tight enough that she certainly stood out in a crowd. She wore sunglasses, her hair tied loosely back, giving her an almost just-arrived-at-the-beach kinda feel. Few things beat looking at that kind of girl, and knowing that I was able to do more than just look at this particular creature forced other parts of my anatomy to pay very close attention.
“Hey sweetie,” she responded, sitting down across from me while flashing me a smile. “How was class?” I blinked rapidly, clearing out the lust riddled thoughts in favor of ones fit for public hearing. “Great! Great news...” I paused, always a fan of the dramatic. “Fitch is looking for part time assistance – he personally asked that I interview!” Fitch was my biology professor, and before an accident permanently damaging his right wrist, one of the top surgeons in the state.
“Aww Josh, that’s fantastic! I’ll cancel the plans for Saturday evening, we need to celebrate... in private.”
For the love of love and all things holy, anyone with half a brain cell, and certainly enough brain cells to warrant said interview in the first place, would have nodded dumbly and gone with the flow, especially when she’d loaded enough innuendo in those last two words to sink a cruiser. Instead, that little voice, that thrice-damned voice that told me from memory that it was always best to ask, blurted out.
“We had plans?”
Erica was miffed, clearly. Obviously, that wasn’t the part of the sentence I had been meant to focus on. “Well... yeah, originally. But I’m going to cancel them. It’s not a big deal – a few of the freshman, Michelle, Thomas and I were going to go out, dancing. I thought I told you, but I guess I never did – slipped my mind.”
“Wait... Thomas goes dancing?” Wow... two for two on things I’m not supposed to harp on about. Awesome. “Yes Josh. Yes he does. You see, Thomas is dating Michelle, and like a good boyfriend, he occasionally sets time aside for her. It’s not that rare a thing. And anyway, we used to go out dancing all the time as friends back in high school, you never complained then. “
“You’re right... sorry. Let’s not argue, alright? You know I would have come out with you if I’d known the plan, and I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m accusing you of something, it just came as a bit of a shock is all. Anyway, thank you, I’d love a night out, just the two of us.” Crisis once more averted, we ordered, our waitress braving the table as our hushed outburst ended as quickly as it had begun.
“So, tonight. Anything you’d like to do.” Erica instantly looked contrite. “Can’t – test tomorrow, I’m meeting up with Thomas to study – we’ll be at it for hours.” I nodded, not wanting to stir the pot any further, And then again, that niggling urge, that well meaning little voice that pointed out that history had taught me to speak my mind. Honesty was always the best road to take – how many arguments in the past had we had over misunderstandings. “Don’t you think that you’re spending just a little too much time with you old high school buddy?”
Well. Fuck. “You complete and utter asshole. Christ, it’s not as if med school is the only place that requires a brain. You try a week having international trade policy and tax reform shoved down your throat – you’d be begging to go back to studying dead people. And as for Thomas – never mind what you’re insinuating about me – haven’t you seen how he is with Michelle? He’s hardly making eyes at me... and right now, maybe he ought to be!” She paused, looking at me and taking a short breath as she caught my expression. I felt gutted. “Josh, I’m sorry... it’s just... ugh!”
What could I say. “Yeah, me too.” We ate our meal in an uneasy silence. As she walked away to meet our resident enigma, I couldn’t help but feel a massive amount of guilt over what I had said... and just how enticing her clothes really were. But of course, that was silly – she’d always dressed like that, and I had been overly harsh in my implications.
I stayed out during the day. Classes ended early enough, and I didn’t feel like studying in an empty suite, so I went down to the library, though my heart wasn’t in it. After an hour of rereading the same few chapters I gave up, opting to get some fresh hair and take a walk around the campus – the late summer afternoons the most pleasant time to be outside, before winter forced us to bundle up inside.
The university is built for walking. Gothic replica architecture dominates the central campus, the edges lined with more modern but oddly fitting shops and restaurant with the poor student’s wallet in mind. Lots of sidewalks for pedestrians, and a very scenic and meandering route across the campus makes it the perfect place for a stroll, and really, I needed to come to terms with all the upheaval that had gone on since the start of term...
... I went straight back to the dorms. Normally, I might have gone for a walk around campus to clear my head, but really, there just wasn’t time. Professor Fitch had offered me an open invitation for his research project, and he’d stated specifically that he would be calling later that afternoon to go over the details. Why I’d given him our dorm number and not my cell, I’m not sure – but I had, so everything else, and particular the mystery that was Thomas, had to be put on hold. And really, rationalizing it – there wasn’t much to think about anyway...
“Hey,” I responded, cautiously testing the waters. “Hey yourself,” Erica replied, taking a small step forward.
“I’m sorry.” I blurted. “I was an ass today, and you didn’t deserve that.” I looked up, meeting here eyes. Thankfully, thankfully, she had a ghost of a grin flickering just below the surface.
“My silly man. You are an ass... but I love you.” She came close, grabbing my hands and holding them in my own. “I love you too,” I whispered into here ear, before pulling the pair of us onto the couch, where we both fell together into a sort of jumbled cuddle. Emotionally and mentally exhausted.
“So, tell me more about this job.” She murmured lazily, eyes closing as she sunk into my splayed form. “Nothing much to add really,” I responded, slightly grumpy. “Fitch was supposed to call this evening, but he never did. Guess I’ll have to talk to him tomorrow. How was the review?”
Erica shrugged, her arms moving against my chest as she did so. “Fine – he – Thomas, he really gets it, seems to always be on the ball in class, and he’s good at communicating. If he decides not to go out into the sharks of the insurance world, I could see him becoming a teacher.”
I laughed, “I bet he would. Have you seen the way the girls here look at him? Thomas, I need help with this. Thomas, I’m lost... will it ever end?” I raised my tone, imitating the high pitched and shrieking voices of the undergrads.
Erica giggled. “He’s just a nice guy, and anyway – he’s recently dating. They know you’re spoken for.”
“Damn right I am,” I replied through a yawn. “Course, if they did try, I think they’d have to think real hard about taking you on.”
Suddenly, Erica squirmed around, turning so that her mouth was only inches away from my ear. Breathlessly, she whispered, “why don’t we go and raise the bar a bit anyway, just in case.”
I don’t care what anyone says – feisty makeup sex is the best sex there is, hands down...
... It had been a week since our fight at the bistro, and now I knew something just wasn’t right. Erica had come home that night, still angry, and I for one hadn’t done much better – spending the entire evening sulking at home for no apparent reason. The thing is, that didn’t make sense. And call me crazy, but I was absolutely positive that Thomas was behind it. Part of me knew this was absurd – we’d been friends since high school, even staying in touch after he’d left town for a while, but I couldn’t help but feel that since he’d reentered our lives, things had taken a turn for the worse, but not in ways that might be normally explained away. Which was how I found myself on my knees, scrambling through my old bedroom at my parent’s house, scrounging through boxes of belongings I hadn’t taken with me, or looked at in five or so years. “Found you!” I cried, triumphant. I pulled out a hardback book, turning to the middle then hastily shoving pages aside. Well, now this is curious...
“Erica, you in here?” I shouted out once I’d closed our door to the outside world. Last thing we needed was the world witnessing the little revelation about to take place. “Bedroom.” came the reply, though without any real humor. “Erica, something weird is going on... check this out,” I tossed our junior year yearbook to her, pleading for her to look at the page. Giving me a confused look, she sighed, slowly picking it up. A minute later, her brows furrowed, a look of perplexity crossing her features. Scrunching her nose ever so slightly, she turned the page – eyes widening in shock a few seconds later. Looking up, she responded, “Am I crazy? I think I’d remember this.”
I nodded, “It’s fucked up alright. I mean, I like Thomas, you like Thomas... but I can’t for the life of me figure out why I like him. I remember hanging out with him at school, but he’s always just kinda... there you know? Always on the periphery – I can’t remember any time when we’re just... actually hanging out.”
Erica didn’t respond right away, just kept looking at the page. “I wasn’t the most shallow girl or anything, but I think I would have remembered if one of my closest friends was this much of a closet geek. It’s like he’s not the same person anymore. Look at this – chess club president, model United Nations... hell, there’s a picture of him and whoever playing Dungeons and Dragons in the Computer Center. So why would I swear on my grave that this was the same guy who we hung out with on the weekends... hell, look here – he looks scared shitless at homecoming, and yet I can’t begin to count the number of times he was picking up girls at the Salsa Club downtown, even when we weren’t old enough to legally get in!”
A knock on the door. “Anyone in?” The voice was hard, demanding. And Thomas’. Definitely Thomas’. “It’s important.”
We froze, paralyzed in a weird mix of fear and guilt. “Don’t get it,” Erica whispered. I nodded...
“Hey Josh, you in there – the game’s on in fifteen minutes, you there?” I looked down at the yearbook, before looking up at Erica, both of us suddenly bursting out laughing. “Be right there!” I shouted back. “Speak of the devil,” Erica giggled. I went to the door, letting Thomas in – it was game day, and my time to play host. “So we’re over this, yeah?” I asked softly, before I went to let Thomas in. “Yeah, I think we just needed a good laugh – let’s not let a fight drag on like that again, alright?” I nodded, relieved, and then opened the door.
Thomas was obviously angry about something, irritated... frustrated. “Rough day?” I asked. He nodded, letting out a sigh as he visibly calmed himself. “Yeah, rough day. Some things came at me that I didn’t expect, but I think I’ve got it covered.” I nodded, moving aside and inviting him in. “Whatever it was, don’t worry about it – let’s just have a few drinks, swear at the T.V., and let whatever’s up just blow over.” He nodded, though obviously not entirely satisfied.
“Hey Thomas!” Erica greeted with a wave as she collected her purse and shoes. “Is Michelle waiting in your room or hers?” “Hers” he responded, favoring her with a slight grin, “though she might need a moment or two to get ready.”
That second, Erica laughed again, her eyes dancing as she tried to muffle her amusement behind her hand. “Thomas, you won’t believe what we were just looking at – the old yearbook, from your last year. I still can’t believe that the yearbook committee got away with photo shopping you into all those ridiculous scenarios. There was... was... even one of you and... ah it was so cute...” She broke down again into hysterical giggles. “Tell him Josh.” I looked at Thomas, a little chagrined. “Nothing really, just you looking fit to murder someone over some board game. Not really that funny, just stupid.” Oddly enough, he wasn’t amused or confused or anything really, save strangely enough, he looked really relieved. Huh.
“Bye boys, behave yourselves.” Erica called out before leaving us alone. With a shrug, the universal language for ’Women, always finding things funny that aren’t. So, how about that game?’ and we headed out the cramped hall space into what amounts to th living room.
“Things all right between you two?” Thomas asked just moments after we started watching the T.V. I frowned – things were a little tense, but I didn’t think it was showing publicly. “Little rough, but nothing serious,” I replied, cautiously. Since high school, we’d always been truthful with one another, and so while out of place, I figured I might as well hash it out with someone, and who better? “Just you usual ups and downs. How’s things with Michelle?”
Thomas turned back towards the television, taking a long swig of his beer before answering. “Same old, same old – fucking like rabbits when I’m not giving it to the freshman of the week, you know how it is?”
What the hell... “Hey Josh, pass me another beer, will ya?” I shook my head – obviously schoolwork was cutting into my sleeping time. “Sorry, what was that?” I replied, frowning. Thomas looked nothing short of ecstatic. “Michelle. She. Is. Doing. Well. Can. I. Have. A. Beer.” I rolled my eyes at his antics, while fetching into the mini cooler for another pair of drinks. “That’s good – not complaining... well not much... but it must be nice to have a girl whose more... willing, you know?”
Thomas nodded sympathetically, though there was a hint of something... malicious perhaps, in his eyes. “She’s still holding out on you huh?” I nodded, “You know how she is, ever since god knows when she’s been determined to ‘save herself for marriage’. Engagement doesn’t cut it apparently.” I’ll admit, I was sulking. “Is that hurting things between the pair of you?”
I really was fortunate to have a guy friend that I could talk about this too. Letting out a breath, I turned back to the game, and slowly admitted, “No... no, I knew what I was getting into from the get go, and I respect her for it. If it happens before, great, and if it doesn’t... I’ll have the rest of my life to catch up on lost time.”
I looked over, interested in Thomas’ response. He looked pensive, frowning slightly as if working through a long problem that he wasn’t quite sure how to do. “You love her,” he blurted. “Well... yeah, of course I do.” I said, confused at the vehemence of the statement. “No, no – I mean you really love each other. One fight, two fights, a complete lack of sex – none of that really matters, you’ll get over it. It’s such an integral part of you – you can’t help but love one another.” Thomas was laughing now, a full belly roar as if he’d just discovered the fountain of youth. “This changes everything... and here I thought I was just wasn’t up to the task. See ya dude.” With out a word, Thomas jumped up, bounding out my door before I even processed just what the hell was going on. I stood up, ready to go out and confront him, when I saw the television was on.
I frowned. Waste of time – I needed to get out the house for. And what’s more, I don’t even like soccer.